01x09 - No Friend in Sight

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Popcorn, check.

No Max and Phoebe to annoy me,

double check.

-Me time activated. -[tablet beeps]

[female TV narrator] Previously on Glove Island...

[whooshing]

Chlo-chella!

This looks dumb. What is it?

Glove Island.

Oh, is that the reality show

where good-looking Australians are on an island

looking for a glove?

Yeah.

And it's great to watch alone.

I would never watch that show. Move over.

So, is the glove on the island,

or is the island a glove?

Max, it's been a long day of school and training,

and I could really use some me time.

Ah. Totally get it. [inhales deeply]

Do you think I should part my hair to the other side?

Wait a minute.

I don't part my hair at all.

That's so interesting.

-Bye. -[whooshing]

You are the most handsome hero.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Where'd she go?

[whooshing]

Me time take two.

[female TV narrator] Now, let's peek in on Toby.

[man]Oi, mate, that's one tricky glove.

Ooh, popcorn.

Don't mind if I do.

I was just having a little me time.

Mmm. Well, now you're having tea time.

Ready to hear the hot goss?

Do I have a choice?

The history teacher and the lunch lady

were holding hands.

Or maybe they were holding hams.

You're just gonna keep talking, aren't you?

Oh! We should go hide in the bushes

and see if these juicy ham rumors are true.

-I like the hiding part. -[whooshing]

Wait. You forgot me.

[tablet beeps]

[man]I reckon Sheila found the glove.

[whooshing]

There you are.

We never finished our conversation

about how awesome I am.

And you left in the middle of me giving you juicy ham goss.

Okay, that sounds gross, but you left!

You know what? I'm going to Splats.

-Amazing idea! -Nice!

[whooshing]

[whooshing]

Ugh! Can you guys just give me some space?

Come on. We give you plenty of space.

You're literally holding on to me right now.

Okay, she may have a point.

[upbeat musical transition]

[theme music playing]

[Chloe]I come from a family of superheroes.

But now, my brother, and sister, and I

are heading to a brand-new town.

[Phoebe]We're going undercover.

[Max]To try and solve our most important mission yet.

♪A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪Look closer, you might see the crazy things we do ♪

♪This isn't make-believe It's our reality ♪

♪Just your average family ♪

♪Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪Living a double life ♪

[song ends]

[upbeat musical transition]

Listen, guys, you're great.

But you're with me all the time lately,

at school, at home, on missions.

You're welcome.

We are such good guardians.

Don't you think it's time

you start making your own friends?

What are you talking about?

What would you be doing right now

if we were still in Hiddenville?

Jamming with my band.

Probably hanging with Cherry.

Exactly. You guys should try

making friends like you had there

but here in Secret Shores.

But I have a friend here, Dr. Colosso.

Flea-infested rabbits don't count.

We fixed that problem.

Besides, Phoebe is the one who doesn't have friends.

Hey! Do too!

The barista at my coffee shop,

the greeter at the mall.

They get paid to be friendly.

Okay.

What about Thunderford?

We talk for, like, three hours a day.

Oh, yeah. He asked me to tell you

to back off a little.

What?

I knew he wasn't "shutting down for maintenance."

I'm sure you guys can find great friends.

Ooh, there's Booch. Don't bother us.

Hey, Chloe! Wayland said any food

we get unstuck from the tubes... is free.

No. I said it's half-off.

Then when is free-tube Tuesday?

Every never.

Ooh! Stuck nugget at table five.

Let's go!

-[rumbling] -[squirting]

Maybe we should back off a little bit.

Yeah, I haven't had to meet new people in a while,

but making a friend can't be that hard, right?

Not for me.

You might have to pay someone.

Oh! I see a potential friend coming this way right now.

Just...

Hey there.

Uh... Do I know you?

Oh, no. But you better get to know me

if I'm gonna be your future maid of honor.

Ah! I see we're both pants people.

[forced laughter] You scare me.

-Hey, thanks, Pheebs. -For what?

Showing me what not to do.

[upbeat musical transition]

Hey, buddy, I was wondering if I could sign you up

for a chance to win some tickets.

You got it,

Jim, who works at the gym.

My boy!

No? Okay.

A-List Elixirs is hosting an exclusive party here,

promoting their $ celebrity Whoa-Tein shakes.

$? What's in it?

I don't know.

But it's endorsed by celebrities,

-so you know it's good. -Huh.

That checks out.

I'll just put my name right here.

Max Thunderman,

Jim's best friend.

[chuckles]

So--

W-where you going, Jimbo?

Whatever.

He's a dud.

You're a stud... [chuckles]

...who won't end up friendless like Phoebe. [chuckles]

Hey, boss.

Might wanna call animal control,

'cause there's a couple of pythons loose in here!

[inhales sharply]

Spot me, bro?

Y-yeah.

[sighs]

-[grunts] -[bar clangs]

[grunting] Uh...

Little help here, pal? [chuckles]

And a lifetime of friendship?

Uh... I-I'm good.

[grunts, pants]

I guess this is just my life now.

Bro!

[grunts]

Are you bro-kay?

Oh, yeah. [laughs]

I just like to... pretend the weight's heavy

so I don't embarrass other people with my strength.

[chuckles awkwardly]

I do the same thing. [laughs] I'm Brenda, by the way.

-Max. I'm new to Secret Shores. -Same.

I actually only know two folks here.

[inhales sharply] My pythons!

Well, now you know two more.

Bang!

Man! I came to the gym knowing I'd make gains.

Little did I know what I'd really gain was...

Say it. Say it.

...a friend.

She said it! [laughs]

[both exclaiming]

[upbeat musical transition]

-[whooshing] -[sighs] Good.

There's no one here to ruin my me time.

Did you say "we time"?

Ugh. I forgot about the rabbit.

Colosso, the living room is mine.

I'm just gonna watch my show and enjoy the ocean breeze.

I wouldn't open that if I were you.

It's pelican migration season,

and, oh boy, do they get rowdy!

The only season I care about

is season ofGlove Island.

Oh. Did you know Toby gets voted off?

I do now.

Come on. Let's go to the Air Lair.

Are we going to hang out there?

-You are. -[whooshing]

[whooshing]

That'll teach him not to spoilGlove Island.

Now, where was I?

[female TV narrator]Coming up, will Toby get voted off?

Yes.

But I still won't let it ruin my day.

-[squawking] -[yelps]

[squawking loudly]

But that will!

Thunderford, help!

Ah, Pelecanus occidentalis,

or as I call them, freaky flying dinosaurs. Bye!

You're a superhero, Chloe.

It's just a pelican.

-[squawking] -No! It's a monster!

[upbeat musical transition]

Max?

Pheebs. I'm glad you're here.

My new friend is about to show up,

and I really wanna rub your face in it.

You will do no such thing to my face,

because I also made a new friend.

Imaginary ones don't count.

I befriended my barista.

We bonded over our shared love of literature,

and then she served me a mug full of friendship.

Sounds like a mug full of boring.

Speaking of boring, would you please get out of here

before my new friend shows up?

Don't want you embarrassing me.

What a coincidence! My new friend just showed up.

Howdy!

[both] Brenda!

[both] Brenda?

[both] Brenda!

[upbeat music plays]

[upbeat music plays]

I cannot believe you two are brother and sister.

That is such a nice compliment, Brenda.

I also can't believe we're related.

[Phoebe chuckles]

You'll have to forgive Max.

He doesn't think before he speaks...

or after, or at all, really.

Well, Brenda, lucky for you,

the choice of who to keep as a friend is pretty easy.

Ah, that is lucky.

Free to go.

Wait. Why do I have to make a choice?

Can't we all be friends?

[both] Of course.

You know, Brenda, it's surprising

that you and Phoebe hit it off.

Most people struggle to connect to her

because she's... [inhales]

Well, you'll see.

And it is just insane that you met Max at the gym.

He's usually too busy looking at himself in the mirror

to notice anyone else is there.

Sorry. Did I miss a dumb insult?

[laughs]

Man! The way you two joke around with each other,

I can tell you're really close.

[forced chuckle] Closer than I wanna be.

You can leave anytime.

[gasps] Ooh! I'll be right back.

I heard the owner said tube scrapings are free today.

I did not.

Who is spreading this?

[sighs] Back off. Brenda is mine.

No. She's mine. I'm not sharing her with you.

We already share too much.

Missions, a house, a bank account.

-A bank account? -Never mind.

The point is I'm not gonna be the one with no friends.

Unrelated, our birthday's still your PIN code, right?

Mark my words.

By the end of tonight,

Brenda will have chosen me as her friend.

Let the era of Bre-Be begin.

Mark my words.

I will never mark your words,

because this is the era of Brax.

[gasps] There's my friend.

You mean my friend.

Oh. [giggles]

[upbeat musical transition]

Is the pelican okay?

Yeah, but I'm not.

Aww. You're okay, my little petty-wetty-boo-boo.

[pelican squawks]

Not a fan of pet names. Got it.

Jurassic Jinx to the rescue!

Step one: contain the beast.

Jinx, are you sure you're qualified?

I've seen you trip over a worm.

Of course I'm qualified.

Every summer after spy camp,

and before space camp,

my parents sent me to zoo camp.

Wow. You go to a lot of camps.

This is a catch-and-release situation.

-Squawk! -Jinx!

You'll scare him!

I'm establishing dominance.

It's important that this pelican knows that I'm the alpha.

Come on! He's not hurting anyone.

[pelican squawking]

[tablet clatters]

Just my tablet.

Looks like a job for Jurassic Jinx.

Going in.

-Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! -[adventurous music playing]

-[pelican screeching] -[Jinx shouting]

[screaming]

[music ends]

I think he's the alpha.

[pelican screeching]

Sounds like he agrees.

Jurassic Jinx is going home to his mama.

It's my turn.

This beautiful creature needs someone

who speaks his language.

[gasps] A feathered friend.

[upbeat musical transition]

We're not so different, you and I.

Check out my pelican prance.

[imitating pelican squawk]

[imitating pelican squawk]

[imitating pelican squawk]

[upbeat musical transition]

Brenda, it is just so cool that you're okay

being friends with someone who's never read a book.

I read a book once when I was seven.

Which is the exact amount of stuffed animals

that Phoebe still sleeps with.

It's actually eight.

One is a kangaroo with a joey in her pouch.

[laughs] Man! I can't get over your guys' repartee.

Oh, Max, "repartee" means "banter."

Oh, Max, "banter" means the playful way that we speak.

I know that...

[under breath] ...now.

Oh, Brenda, I actually wanted to invite you to a club tonight.

Oh... Oh, yeah? Wh-what's the club?

It's a book club.

The DJ is our imaginations.

[laughs] You had me. And then you lost me.

But then you had me again. [laughs]

[phone dings]

Hey! I just won two tickets

to the $ celebrity Whoa-Tein shake event at the gym tonight.

Oh, man! I entered that like , times.

Ridiculously expensive protein shakes

with an ambiguous tie to celebrities are my jam!

I mean, not as much as tragic, th century Russian novels,

though, right?

Uh...

Looks like you'll have to make a choice, Brenda.

Books without pictures

or ridiculously priced protein shakes

with the promise of celebrity vibes. [chuckles]

Phoebe or Max?

-Phoebe... -Yes!

-No! -I gotta go with Max.

-No! -Yes!

Just because the Whoa-Tein event is one night only.

We can talk about Russian novels tomorrow, okay?

Da.

[sighs] Great!

Now, if you don't mind, I have some spandex to bedazzle.

[chuckles] After all the fun

Brenda and I have at the gym tonight,

she's gonna forget all about you.

Don't gloat.

I'm not. I'm just enjoying your misfortune.

That's what gloating means.

Oh.

[upbeat musical transition]

[gasping]

[Brenda and Max chuckle excitedly]

-[glasses clink] -[laughs]

[both] Mmm!

Can't believe this milkshake is $.

Pfft. Pfft.

I think I got a little piece of money there.

Thanks for the invite by the way.

You're a good friend, Max.

You're welcome.

And, since this place is so exclusive,

we won't have to worry about any Phoebes getting in.

[chuckles]

That's what I call goobers.

[gasps] Oh, my glutes!

They're selling those water bottles

that remind you to drink water. [squeals excitedly]

I'll be right back.

Brax forever. [chuckles]

Bre-Be for never.

-Free sample? -Oh. Thanks, Phoebe.

Phoebe?!

You found a way in?

Sure did, Max. By working as a caterer

who's serving samples and stealing back friends.

You wouldn't.

Oh, I would.

And I will.

And I'm literally doing it right now.

[upbeat music plays]

[upbeat music plays]

I can't believe you're here.

I'd never crash your book club.

Oh, you so would.

You're probably right. But I'm still annoyed.

Maximus Octavius Thunderman,

I will stop at nothing to make Brenda pick me as her friend.

What would you know about friends,

Phoebe Monica Rachel Thunderman?

Phoebe?

I am so shocked to see you.

Uh, you don't know my friend Brenda as well as I do,

but she's trying to ask you to leave.

No. I just didn't expect to see you here.

Well, it's a simple explanation, really.

You see, I read in a book... Yay books!

...that protein shakes are really good for you.

Yay protein!

So I went looking for a shake-related job,

and ended up here. Yay totally random coincidences!

Three yays. I'm following.

So now, you and I can bond over both books

and protein shakes.

That's two things in common over Max's one.

Uh, Brenda and I also share a fear of spiders,

so we too have two things in common. [chuckles]

I told you that in confidence.

We also tell each other things in confidence.

Okay, well, I may not share your fear of spiders,

but I can share...

-this $... -[gasps]

...celebrity Whoa-Tein shake.

Don't tell my boss, but a friend like you

deserves a Phoebe freebie.

[squeals excitedly]

Wow! [gasps]

You can almost taste the difference.

Um, can I have a Phoebe freebie?

[Phoebe] Hmm.

Oops. All out.

Uh, Brenda.

Brenda, my friend-a. [chuckles]

Do you wanna go check out that demo by the kettlebells?

You wouldn't understand, Phoebe.

I don't know a lot about kettlebells,

but I do know a dumbbell when I see one.

Don't talk about my bestie like that.

I was talking about you like that.

[whooshing]

Ow!

[grunting, huffs]

Oh, it is on!

I know this is not a kettlebell.

[upbeat musical transition]

[squawking]

Remind me again why you're dressed like that.

I'm getting the pelican to accept me in his flock

and follow me out of the door.

Squawk! [imitates pelican squawking]

Squawk! [imitates pelican squawking]

And the dance?

It feels good to shake my tail feathers.

I can't tell if it's strange

or beautiful.

It's both.

It's strange-iful.

Come, my winged brother.

It's time for us to leave and continue our migration

to South America, as we birds do.

[squawks]

I don't think he's buying it.

Oops. I forgot to ask him in his own language.

Squawk! [imitates squawking]

Squawk! [imitates squawking]

-[birds squawking] -Wait. I hear something.

What is that?

[squawking continues]

I think I accidentally summoned the entire flock.

And they're talking about attacking the horse.

The horse?

Wait. Hold on.

[birds squawking continues]

Sorry. The house.

Oh no!

We can't fight off a whole flock of birds.

What do we do?

I'll lead them away.

Squawk! [imitates squawking] Squawk!

Thanks, Booch!

So, are you ready for me to get rid of this guy?

Do you mean you're not scared of the pelican?

Why would I be scared of Barry from my poker group?

Wait. You know him?

Yeah. He comes by every Tuesday night.

Barry, how many times I gotta remind you?

Poker night is Wednesdays.

[squawks]

[sighs] He's gone.

Now I can finally watch Glove Island.

This isn't a spoiler,

but there's a second glove, and Megan wins.

Why?!

[upbeat musical transition]

-[laughing] -Oh, I got one.

So, what's Cardi B's favorite thing to do in the gym?

-What? -Cardio.

[laughing]

-Clever and current. -Yeah.

All right, I may hide behind a punching bag,

but I'm done being one. I will not be Friendless Phoebe.

Okay, powers it is.

[whooshing]

Ow!

[tense flamenco music playing]

For Brenda.

For Brenda.

Wait. What?

[music intensifies]

[boings]

Don't you think you should intervene?

I would never get in the way of anyone's fitness journey.

[tense music playing]

[music stops]

All right, this has gone too far.

Those shakes cost more than my monthly spray-tan bill.

Okay, real talk, how often are you tanning?

Three times a day.

I have a problem.

You're about to have a problem, a face full of shake.

Not if I shake you first.

[Phoebe gasps]

[both panting]

What the heck is wrong with you two?

Oh, I will tell you everything that's wrong with her

as soon as you pick me as a friend.

No. Pick me. I was born first,

and therefore, I am infinitely wiser.

I know exactly who I'm gonna pick.

Neither of you.

[both] What?!

I don't know why you two are so desperate to make a friend

when you already have

the most compatible friend in the world.

Who?

Each other.

[laughs]

That is ridiculous.

What? Just 'cause we hang out all the time?

Yeah. Or 'cause we're always there for each other? [inhales]

-[both] No! -[upbeat music plays]

[theme music playing]