Dead Don't Die, The (2019)

[bunniefuu]

Yuck.

The fire's still warm.

Is that you, Hermit Bob?

We kinda can see you.

Farmer Miller says

you might have stole

one of his chickens.

That happens to be

against the law.

Now, I'm hoping that it was

a fox that did that.

Up your hole

with a wooden pole, Cliff.

That also happens to be

against the law.

Should we take him in?

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

I don't see him.

Uh, we're gonna go back

to town now...

Hermit Bob.

Don't break any more laws.

Just calm down.

Hey, Cliff.

f*ck you.

♪ Oh, the dead don't die ♪

♪ Any more than you or I ♪

♪ They're just ghosts

inside a dream ♪

♪ Of a life that we don't own ♪

♪ They walk around us ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ Never paying any mind ♪

♪ To the silly lives we lead ♪

♪ Or the reaping

we've all sown ♪

♪ There's a cup of coffee

waiting ♪

♪ On every corner ♪

♪ Someday we're gonna wake up ♪

♪ And find the corners gone ♪

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on. ♪

Should we bring him in

one of these days?

I mean...

he fired a weapon

at police officers.

Yeah, I don't know.

I doubt he even stole

that chicken.

Farmer Miller

is such an as*h*le.

I've known Bob

since junior high.

Oh, wow.

That must have been

like 50 years ago.

Yeah, it was.

You know, Bob's been out there

for years,

eating squirrels and bugs,

and he never hurt anyone

that I ever heard of.

Well, he is kind of unusual.

Is it already 20 after 8:00?

Shouldn't it be

getting dark by now?

Yeah, this

daylight savings thing

is all out of whack lately.

Damn it.

My watch stopped.

Or is broken or something.

Yeah, something weird's

going on.

Yeah. Weird.

Yeah, this isn't gonna

end well, Cliff.

The ant colonies.

All jacked up like it was

the end of the world.

Hey, Ronnie,

you want to swing by the diner,

get some doughnuts, coffee?

Um... no, thanks.

It seems late

for coffee and doughnuts.

I guess so.

This is home base.

Are you guys reading me?

Over.

- Hey, Mindy.

- You guys okay out there?

Yeah, we're just, uh,

cruising a bit

before we swing on back.

Uh, you need anything?

We could, uh, run by the diner,

pick you up

some coffee and doughnuts.

Negative. Thanks.

There is something strange

going on, though.

Have you guys, by any chance,

noticed that the...

...and the daylight and the...

I think the news report...

Hello, hello.

sh*t. We lost her.

Use your cell.

That's funny.

It's completely dead.

And it was fully charged.

Hey, Cliff, should we listen

to the civilian radio?

Sure. Go ahead.

♪ Oh, the dead don't die ♪

♪ Any more than you or I ♪

Wow, that sounds so familiar.

♪ They're just ghosts

inside a dream... ♪

What is that song, Ronnie?

It's "The Dead Don't Die."

By Sturgill Simpson.

Sturgill Simpson?

♪ Never paying any mind

to the silly lives... ♪

Why does it sound so familiar?

Well, 'cause it's

the theme song.

- The theme song?

- Yeah.

♪ There's a cup of coffee

waiting ♪

♪ On every corner ♪

♪ Someday we're gonna wake up ♪

♪ And find the corners gone ♪

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on ♪

♪ There'll be old friends

walking round ♪

♪ In a somewhat familiar town ♪

♪ That you saw once when

you looked up from the phone ♪

♪ Nobody bothers saying hi ♪

♪ And you can save

all your goodbyes ♪

♪ Stop trying to pretend ♪

♪ That we're all

not at home... ♪

How much longer until

my takeout's ready, Fern?

Be out shortly, Frank.

Just heating it up for you.

Would you mind turning off

that g*dd*mn music?

f*cking Sturgill Simpson.

Sure thing.

So, Frank,

what makes you so sure

it's Hermit Bob

who stole your chicken?

Well, who the hell else

could it be?

That g*dd*mn hairy lunatic,

living out there

all these years like a caveman.

Like some kind of ghost.

Might as well be Amish.

Maybe it was a... a fox, Frank.

Um, I don't think

Bob ever hurt anybody.

Yeah, well, tell that

to my f*cking chickens.

Fox, my a*s.

Here you go, Frank.

Want me to put that

in a to-go cup for you?

Nah, I can't drink

any more of that stuff.

It's too damn black for me.

I meant it's too strong.

Take care, Frank.

Yeah.

This special report:

These activities

could possibly be affecting

the Earth's rotation

on its axis.

Scientists say

even the slightest change

in this balance

may already be causing

a dramatic change

in our usual hours of daylight.

Meanwhile,

government officials,

as well as the heads of

the energy companies involved,

say the recent extensive

polar fracking

has had no discernible

consequences whatsoever.

Here's what

the energy secretary had to say

in this evening's

press conference.

Listen, these

alarmists are dangerous liars.

Let's not believe something

just because one so-called

scientist says it's true.

Polar fracking has created

fantastic jobs,

big profits and energy

for our great country.

Let's not forget our priori...

What you think, Fern?

I don't know, Hank.

Shouldn't it be

getting dark out?

So,

you can see from this diagram

that if the Earth is pulled

even slightly off its axis,

the repercussions

could be extreme.

Coming up

in the next segment...

Holy sh*t, man, this is crazy.

A change in the Earth's

rotation or its spin rate?

That'd be catastrophic,

for sure.

All the cycles of the biosphere

would be affected.

The natural cycles of sunlight

would be disrupted,

plants wouldn't grow,

wind patterns would change,

and tectonic activity...

Forget about it.

The polar caps shifting

would mean...

I don't want to say.

Total planetary destruction.

For real?

Shut up.

Okay, time's up, girls.

Way up.

Well, if it isn't Geronimo

on the girls' floor again.

Do you want to be a girl,

Geronimo?

No.

Well, then get back

to the boys' section... now.

Dennis.

Can you please escort Geronimo

back to the boys' section?

I'll deal with these girls.

Let's go, Geronimo.

You know the drill.

Let's go, you clowns.

It's bedtime for bozos.

You two ladies, too.

Let's go.

Secretary of Energy

Pillerton, however...

Thank you.

...fully refutes

these speculations,

insisting...

See you, Bobby.

- Excellent.

- You got it? Need a bag?

- No, thanks.

- All right.

- Bye, Bobby.

- See you guys.

Wow, it's still so light out.

Okay. So...

- Bilbo Baggins.

- Hey, Dean.

- What's up, buddy?

- How's things?

After-hours delivery, WU-PS.

Check this out.

Got some

Weird News of the World.

The Earth off its axis.

That's bad news.

This is for you right here,

for your collection.

Oh, man. Starlog.

Eerie.

Creepy, number 61.

April 1974.

That m*therf*cker's rare,

before you was born and sh*t.

Oh, man. Here, let me

give you some money.

No, that's on me.

- Add it to your collection.

- Thanks, man.

Just give me

your Herbie Hancock right here,

and I'll be on my way.

They need to fix the AC.

You know, it's kind of hot

in this m*therf*cker, huh?

All right.

Okay-dokay.

All right,

see you next week, Frodo.

Hey, Dean.

I was wondering

if you wouldn't mind just, uh,

dropping a little wisdom

until the next delivery.

The world is perfect.

Appreciate the details.

"The world is perfect.

Appreciate the details."

You guys shouldn't be here.

Strange.

Tasty porcinis.

Okay.

Mmm.

Kitty!

Good evening.

This is Posie Juarez.

We interrupt this program

for a Centerville 7 News

Special Report.

People are saying their pets

have either just disappeared

or are acting unusually

skittish and aggressive.

Here's a report

from Harrisville.

Look at this.

I mean, I just couldn't find

my cat, Rainbow.

And when I finally did

find her,

she was under the house.

She's never done that before.

She's not usually like that.

She's very gentle and...

That's so strange.

Where are you guys?

...too, and she had

this wild look in her eye,

and when I finally tried

to pull her out,

she scratched me all to shreds,

like a wild animal.

That's so creepy.

I knew...

We're back?

Hello.

Wow, that is strange, and it

seems to be happening all over.

We'll have more reports

at 11:00.

But for now,

this is Posie Juarez

for Centerville 7 News.

Stay safe...

and keep your eyes open.

Rumsfeld.

Rumsfeld. Here, boy.

Where the hell are you?

g*dd*mn dog.

Rumsfeld? You out here?

Rumsfeld,

what you doing over there?

Get your a*s inside.

Come on, stupid.

Hey.

What are you doing?

g*dd*mn it.

Holy sh*t.

Who stole my f*cking cows?

Where the hell are my chickens?

Frank's cows.

Into the woods, ladies.

Welcome to my world.

Damn it, Mallory.

Even dead,

you reek of chardonnay.

Cheap chardonnay.

How's she looking?

Well, she's not getting

any older.

Wow.

The diner sure makes

the world's best coffee,

doesn't it?

Yeah, but how can you

drink it so late?

- Won't it keep you up?

- No, I sleep like a baby.

Except maybe when I know

there's a corpse

waiting for me at work.

Oh, y-yeah.

Cliff, is the coroner

from Latrobe

gonna pick her up tomorrow?

It's getting a little creepy

being here alone

with Mallory decomposing

in there.

Yeah, they're supposed to come

pick her up tomorrow morning.

Thank God.

I don't know why she can't be

over at the funeral home.

'Cause she's going

to Potter's Field in Latrobe.

And 'cause our new

unusual undertaker,

Ms. Winston,

has got those two golfers

that were struck by lightning...

the Logans.

Thanks, Ronnie.

It's not really necessary,

but...

Can I, uh,

drive you home, Mindy?

Also not necessary, Ronnie.

You know I have my car here.

Oh, yeah.

- How is the Prius running?

- Fine.

Can you even fit two people in

that little Smart car of yours?

Well, yeah.

Holds two nicely.

This daylight thing

is bothering me.

It's strange.

Well, what can I say?

The world is

kind of strange lately.

Yeah, it sure is.

If you ask me, this whole thing

is gonna end badly.

So, what exactly do you mean,

Ronnie?

Oh, uh, don't know.

Just a feeling, I guess.

Strong feeling.

Oh, boy.

You okay doing the whole

night shift alone, Cliff?

Yeah, I can take a nap.

I mean, I can just lie down

in that other cell

next to old Mallory.

Oh, God.

Next to her... her dead body?

Might bring back

some old memories.

See you guys tomorrow.

- See you, Cliff.

- Yeah, see you tomorrow, Chief.

"This is all gonna end badly."

What does that mean?

I knew Mallory O'Brien

since I was a kid.

And believe it or not,

sh-she was

a pretty young thing, too.

Please.

Sorry, but good riddance

to that drunken old goat.

Well, I-I-I don't know, Fern.

Geez, I got to get up

out of here.

I-I got to, uh, get

to the hardware store

early tomorrow morning.

I'm looking forward

to seeing you ladies tomorrow.

- Mm.

- Take care, Hank.

Good night, Hank. Sweet dreams.

Hank is such a gentleman.

Sure is.

Well, I better

get started cleaning here.

Listen, Lily.

I've been dying to ask you

about that new foreign woman

that took over

the funeral home.

What's her name?

Her name is Zelda Winston.

And she's strange, for sure.

And she's got these, like,

really weird eyes,

like she's, like,

looking right through you.

She pays me really well,

though.

Zelda. What-what kind

of name is that?

I don't know.

She's probably, like, Irish

or Scottish or whatever.

And she talks

really funny, though,

so I don't always get it right.

But I like the name Zelda.

It reminds me of, um,

Zelda Fitzgerald.

Who's that?

That's Great Gatsby's wife.

And who's that?

That's the really rich guy

from the 1920s.

The Robert Redford guy.

Well, anyway,

so what's it like over there

in those secret rooms

since she took over?

Well, there's these, like,

really creepy back rooms,

you know, where they, like,

keep all the stiffs.

And then next to that,

there's this big golden Buddha.

A what, now?

There's a big, shiny,

golden Buddha.

And then there's these, like,

old-looking samurai swords

on a rack.

Really?

Amituofo.

That's peculiar.

Now, stay put, will you?

What is it, Liv?

You okay?

Yeah.

I guess so.

I just got this creepy feeling.

You were probably just

having a bad dream.

Yeah, guess so.

A bad dream.

It's okay.

Just go back to sleep.

Thanks, Stell.

Hmm.

Toxic lunar vibrations.

All right, honey, I'm done.

I'm leaving your money here.

I'm out of here, Lil.

Okay, Fern.

See you tomorrow.

Not if I see you first.

Very funny.

Excuse me, we're closed.

What... what happened to you?

Aah! Lily!

Oh, get the f*ck away from me,

you little m*therf*cker!

Oh, I'll f*cking k*ll you!

I'll shove this mop up

your f*cking a*s, m*therf*cker!

Get the f*ck away from me!

Coffee.

Coffee.

Coffee.

Centerville Police Department.

This is Chief Robertson.

Hi, Hank. What's up?

Is it really 6:30?

What?

At the diner?

Uh, like I said

on the phone, Cliff,

often, Fern gets here early,

and so I thought I might

get some coffee to go,

and-and then this.

Oh, my God.

I-I saw them.

Fern and Lily.

Oh, man.

Uh, wh-what the hell was it?

A wild animal?

Uh, several wild animals?

I don't know.

But whatever it was,

it even smashed the coffeepots.

Oh, yuck.

Jesus Christ, Cliff.

What the heck was it,

a wild animal?

Several wild animals?

That's exactly what I said.

Hey, guys.

Wow. Fern's really done wonders

with these flower beds.

Really perks up the place, huh?

What?

- What happened?

- God, Mindy.

I don't think

you want to see this.

Uh, no, no, I didn't need

to see that.

Was it a wild animal?

Or several wild animals?

Cliff, is that really

Fern and Lily in there?

Uh, no.

That was Fern and Lily,

but now...

Do you need me here?

Maybe you could help out

with crowd control.

Okay, folks, can you move it

along now, please?

Thank you.

I can't believe it.

God, Ronnie.

This is really awful.

Maybe the worst thing

I've ever seen.

Yeah. Sure is.

I...

I-I got to go.

So, what are you thinking?

You... you really want to know?

I'm thinking zombies.

What?

You know, zombies.

Ghouls. The undead.

Are you...

you're trying to tell me...

...you're thinking

zombies did this?

Yup.

Hey, Jack,

will you check your phone

- and see where we are exactly?

- Yeah.

Oh, man.

I'm not getting

any reception out here.

Geez, I don't even know

if my phone's working,

- for some reason.

- Hmm.

Let me try the radio.

Oh, wow,

it's working again, so...

I mean,

they're absolutely wrong.

We know very well

that polar fracking

has been great

for this country.

In my opinion, these naysayers

should just move

to somewhere else

- where they don't have to...

- I'm not listening to this.

♪ And the streets

look so empty ♪

♪ In the morning ♪

"The Dead Don't Die."

I love this song.

♪ There'll be no one

out at night ♪

♪ For the lights

to shine down on ♪

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on ♪

♪ Hearts break ♪

♪ When loved ones journey on ♪

♪ At the thought ♪

♪ That they're now

forever gone ♪

♪ So we tell ourselves ♪

♪ They're all still

around us all the time ♪

Thanks.

♪ Gone but not forgotten ♪

♪ Just memories left behind ♪

Oh, sh*t, you guys.

We have to stop and get gas.

Look. Gas sign right there.

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone... ♪

Okay, cool.

Come back soon, okay?

See you, Bobby.

- Stay sick, guys.

- Turn blue, Bobby.

Hey, kids, how's it going?

Eat me.

Whoa, this place is a trip.

Sure is.

Oh. Hi.

Hi.

Nice shirt.

- Nosferatu.

- Yeah.

It's really cool.

Thanks. I make 'em.

How about that?

Earth off its axis.

- End of the world.

- Mm.

Flesh-eating zombies.

You get a lot of zombies

around here?

That depends, I guess.

Uh, so... so, about the gas.

You want to pay cash or credit?

Here you go, Frodo.

Cool. Thanks.

Uh, did you, uh...

Did you just call me Frodo?

Did I?

Hey, is there a motel in town?

Yeah, there is one

- just down the...

- Ooh.

Oh, that's a really good CD.

Sturgill Simpson,

"The Dead Don't Die."

Yeah, I know.

I love this song.

Is it nice?

- What?

- The motel.

Oh, yeah.

It's, uh... it's kind of cool.

It's one of those

old-school ones.

Like in old-school

horror movies,

with, like... like in Psycho

with the separated bungalows?

Uh, the Bates Motel in Psycho

was not separated into

"little bungalows."

- Ooh.

- All right.

That's 12 for the CD

and two dollars for the soda.

- Here you go. You can just keep the change.

- Thanks.

Oh, cool.

Whoa.

That's a super cool ride,

by the way.

Very, uh, George Romero.

Yeah, it's a classic.

Your film knowledge

is impressive.

What's your name?

Bobby.

Bobby Wiggins.

What's that?

Bobby Baggins?

No, Wiggins.

I'm Zoe.

Thanks, Bobby.

Will the Feds be

brought in on this?

It's... it's really weird.

I see.

But Miss O'Brien...

so she has to stay with us

another night?

Oh, God.

Okay. Thank you.

Hello, Ms. Winston.

Hello,

Officer Minerva Morrison.

Do call me Zelda.

Yeah, okay, sure.

You've been informed

of the tragedy?

I have.

Am I to understand

that the remains

will be brought to

The Ever After Funeral Home

for my preparations?

Uh, no,

that won't be necessary.

The Feds have already

collected the remains.

They've brought them

out of the county.

I see.

Is there anything else

I can do?

Yes.

I do have

an unrelated question.

- sh**t.

- "sh**t"?

I mean ask me.

Oh, yes.

Are you, by any chance,

a couple?

You and the physically

attractive one?

Um, you mean the younger one?

Officer Peterson?

That's the one I mean...

Officer Ronald Peterson.

Well, actually, no.

Why do you ask, Zelda?

Just accumulating

local information.

Oh.

Okay.

Dear Jesus.

I mean, that's

absolutely horrible.

I mean, who or what is-is-is

per-perpetrating

these... these...

Hey.

- What's going on?

- Hey.

Nice car.

'68 Pontiac LeMans.

Yeah. It's a beauty, huh?

It's our friend's

totally rad ride.

It's a classic.

Have a good one.

Later.

Guys, I'm so hungry.

Same. Let's eat.

I'll ask. H-Hey.

- Nice car.

- Thank you.

Uh, do you guys know if there's

a diner or restaurant nearby?

Sorry.

The only diner in town

is closed, indefinitely.

Well, that's unfortunate.

Uh, but we, uh, have

several vending machines

containing snacks, uh,

right over by the office.

Okay. Thanks.

Do you have change

for three dollars?

Yeah, I do.

I like your badge.

Oh, th... thank you.

That's, uh...

- That-that should be good.

- Oh, okay.

- Thanks.

- Oh, no, no.

- You can, you can have it.

- Yeah?

Okay. Thanks.

They just checked in.

Hipsters from the big city.

- Yeah?

- Yep.

My educated guess

would be Pittsburgh.

They got that urban style,

you know.

Oh, well, those plates

are from Ohio,

so my educated guess

would be Cleveland.

Oh. Cleveland. Hmm.

Yeah, Cleveland.

Thanks.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

That girl's part Mexican.

- Hmm?

- Really?

How can you tell?

I have an affinity

for Mexicans.

They're, like,

my favorite people.

I love Mexico.

I've been down there twice.

Okay, Ronnie,

then you should be the one

to inform them

that if they're gonna spend

the night in Centerville,

to not go out and to keep

their hotel room door locked.

Okay?

Uh, you know, Cliff, uh...

I know this isn't important

comparatively, uh,

but, uh, all of my cats are gone.

And-and, normally, they-they,

uh, just stay inside.

Well, I'm sorry

about that, Danny.

They could be hiding.

Nothing is happening normally

right now.

- Yeah.

- How did they react?

They said, "I heard you had

a lot of zombies around here,"

and then they laughed.

Infernal hipsters

with their irony.

Melville.

"Nameless miseries

of the numberless mortals."

Well, everything

looks normal out there.

Yeah.

But what happened

sounds like the start of

- a gruesome horror film.

- Sure does.

Boo!

Really, really not funny,

Geronimo.

You guys hear about those

grisly murders at the diner?

Yeah.

Just talking about them.

Creepy.

I've been listening

to the radio,

and I'm sure

it's the undead, yo.

Reanimated by the Earth

being thrown off its axis

from the polar fracking.

What are you saying?

I'm saying...

full-on

zombie apocalypse, baby.

Soon, there'll be

hordes of them.

- Geronimo.

- sh*t.

Do you want to lose

your privileges again?

No, sir.

Then let's go.

Unbelievable.

Cliff,

why'd they used to separate

the children's graves

from the adults'?

Don't know.

Some kind of

a 19th-century thing.

Huh.

Seems like a bad idea somehow.

Yeah. So, what exactly are we

looking for here? Zombies?

Hey, look over here.

Here's another one.

Oh, man.

This isn't gonna end well.

g*dd*mn it.

Ghouls.

This is undead, reanimated,

full-on,

flesh-eating zombie sh*t.

No question.

I was supposed to retire.

- Two years ago.

- I know.

- Why didn't you?

- What?

Retire two years ago.

Are we improvising here?

No, I was just asking.

But I probably know

the answer anyway.

Probably. Yeah.

So, is our plan

to continue to inform people

about the zombie danger

before it gets dark?

Oh, God, Ronnie.

Uh... I guess so.

Because we passed

Farmer Miller's place

a little while ago.

Do we need to inform him?

f*ck Farmer Miller.

Really?

He is a citizen of Centerville.

You're right. Uh...

We'll have Mindy call him.

Oh, okay.

So, Ronnie, how the f*ck

do you k*ll a zombie?

Well, you got to k*ll the head.

- "k*ll the head."

- Yeah.

By any means necessary,

k*ll the head.

Decapitate.

It's the only way to k*ll them.

Jesus.

And that's really the only way

to stop zombies,

is to k*ll the head, Hank.

I know it's gruesome,

but complete decapitation.

Doesn't matter if you use

a-a machete, steel wire,

hedge clippers, whatever.

Just as long as the spinal cord

is severed, right?

And the head... is cut off.

And that's it.

De-animated.

Only way to k*ll the dead:

k*ll the head.

Uh, wait, Bobby.

I-I'm not so sure

it was zombies.

You said they ate

Lily and Fern's flesh.

Usually, they go for

the brains.

It's unusual, but...

it's still cannibals, man.

Mm.

Definitely zombies.

Okay?

Hank, you can trust me.

I've seen almost every

zombie film ever made.

Mm.

This is zombie sh*t going down,

and we got to get prepared.

I don't know

what to think anymore.

Hank, the shells.

Oh, yeah.

Better safe than sorry.

Yeah, you're right.

Safe than sorry.

Just k*ll the head.

Several other shocking

and brutal attacks

occurred in this

residential neighborhood

just outside East Brady.

The images are just

too gruesome

to broadcast at this time,

and police are saying

that it almost looked like

the victims were attacked

by a wild animal

or perhaps

several wild animals.

Police did provide this map

showing where these...

g*dd*mn it,

my watch doesn't f*cking work.

I just got it.

It's mad expensive.

Holy sh*t, dude,

this is insane.

Wow.

Maybe that Harry Potter guy

at the gas station

wasn't kidding, man.

What, about-about what?

About there being zombies

around here.

That's not even funny.

Don't joke.

It's really, really creepy.

Authorities are

warning all citizens

to stay inside

and keep all doors

and windows locked and secured.

Zack, lock the door, will you?

- Got you.

- But for now,

this is Posie Juarez

for Centerville 7 News.

Stay safe

and keep your eyes open.

Kitties!

Where are you guys?

Kitties!

Kitties!

What in the name of...

Cats are gone.

Haven't seen or heard a bird

in two days.

It's already night out.

It's 5:00.

Dear Lord in Heaven, help us.

Free cable.

Oh, it's free ca...

Thank God you guys are back.

Jesus, Cliff, do we really need

all this stuff?

What's all this for?

We went by the hardware store.

You know what happens.

Hank and that hobbit kid Bobby

from the gas station

have locked themselves in

over there.

They tried to convince

other citizens to join them,

but with no success.

Why? What's happening?

Is it some sort

of epidemic or what?

It's zombies.

- What are you saying?

- Well, it's the undead.

They've been reanimated.

Caused by the Earth having been

pulled off its axis,

caused by the polar fracking.

But the authorities

and energy people

keep saying that's not true.

Really?

Oh, my God.

- She's alive?

- No.

She's not.

She's just undead.

Chardonnay.

Holy sh*t.

Did she just say "chardonnay"?

Yeah, she did.

Look out, kids.

Hey, little Mallory.

Chardonnay.

I got this, Cliff.

Chardonnay.

Those are some

pretty good cuts.

You played some

minor league ball, didn't you?

Well, um, a little Class A.

It-it was a long time ago.

Mindy, just remember

to k*ll the head.

Okay.

k*ll the head. Okay.

Ronnie, take this thing

out of here.

You got it, Chief.

Oh, that's very nice.

Very nice, indeed.

You look gorgeous.

You two could have been

the king and queen

of the golf club, so you could.

Oh, my.

What's this?

Are you in this together?

I mean, this is

really inappropriate.

Oh, good grief.

So, the dead just don't

want to die today.

Is that it?

That's a shame.

I had them looking so bonny.

Oh, what is it now?

Who's there?

sh*t.

Who the f*ck are you,

and what do you want?

Ow! Hey!

Get the f*ck...

sh*t.

I k*lled him.

That was weird.

Candy.

- Candy.

- Snapple.

Snapple.

Snickers.

- Popsicle.

- Snickers.

Popsicle.

Popsicle.

Toys.

Skittles.

Toys.

Wi-Fi.

Wi-Fi.

Bluetooth.

Bluetooth.

Siri.

- Xanax.

- Oxy.

- Xanax.

- Oxy.

Ambien.

Oxy.

Guitar.

Guitar.

- Tools.

- Drill.

Sander.

Tools.

- Hey, no. Come on.

- Hey. Hey.

Okay, okay. Holy sh*t.

- Hey, we need to mow them down.

- Come on, man.

Bobby. sh*t.

I got this one, Hank.

sh*t.

Hey, Bobby!

The head, Hank!

I k*lled the head.

What the f*ck?

Is this for real?

- Shh, shh! Shh, shh, shh.

- Quiet!

Get the f*ck off me!

- f*ck!

- Holy sh*t!

Shithead!

Save me!

- What? No!

- What are you doing? Stop!

Get the f*ck off me!

Closet.

- f*ck!

- f*cking shithead!

...violent...

Reports of these

bizarre attacks are escalating,

with incidents occurring

sporadically across the country

and, as we're now learning,

uh, across the globe.

You see,

these violent marauders

have apparently first

been gathering in cemeteries,

then dispersing

into towns and suburbs,

while other reports suggest...

Great.

Now even the radio's dead.

Good riddance.

Guys...

shouldn't we be

telling each other

that it's all gonna be okay?

That this will all go away,

like a bad dream?

Ronnie?

Gee, Mindy,

I'm not sure I can say that.

Cliff?

Please?

It's all gonna be okay, Mindy.

Maybe it'll all just go away,

like a bad dream.

I doubt it.

Seven and eight.

Now do both for eight.

And push. And push. Yeah.

Cleveland.

What the...

Now, that's what I call

a m*rder of crows.

Darn, she's really good

with that thing, isn't she?

She sure is.

She's strange.

- She's Scottish.

- She's Scottish?

Let's unbolt the door

and get her in here.

Thank you very much,

Officer Ronald Peterson.

Chief Clifford Robertson.

Officer Minerva Morrison.

What exactly is

your plan of action,

Chief Clifford Robertson?

Well... well...

uh, it's a little

quieter now.

I-I think, I guess we should

just get in the patrol car...

some of us, anyway...

and, uh, patrol the community.

After all, that is our job.

I'm not staying here.

I-I think we should all

go together.

Well, I guess you're right.

I could stay here

and monitor things,

if that would help.

I'm quite confident

of my ability

to defend myself

against the undead.

Well, I-I can see that.

But, uh, can you operate the

police radio and our computer?

Oh, aye.

No bother.

Certainly.

Yeah, if it still works.

I don't know.

That would be a little unusual,

wouldn't it, Cliff?

Well, this is

a highly unusual situation

we're in, is it not,

Chief Clifford Robertson?

Perhaps we could all

meet up again in a wee while

in the cemetery.

Yeah, it's okay.

I guess it's okay.

Uh, let's go, guys.

We've got some more weapons

in the patrol car.

Excuse me,

Officer Ronald Peterson.

Might I request that I have

the use of your own

personal vehicle?

Uh, oh.

Oh, uh... okay.

Oh. Star Wars.

Excellent fiction.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, yeah.

- Mm.

It's the, uh...

Red convertible Smart car?

Yes.

Mind how you go.

Slow down a second, Cliff.

Excuse me.

Yes.

k*ll the head.

They gravitate towards things

they did when they were alive.

Yeah.

Tennis girl's kind of cute.

Geez, Cliff.

This is way too creepy.

Oh, God.

I know those kids.

But they're all dead.

Watch it, Cliff.

Did you have to do that?

I'm sorry.

I didn't see him.

Well, it doesn't matter, Mindy.

They're already dead.

Well, undead, to be precise.

Reanimated.

f*cking trespasser.

Kiss your a*s goodbye.

Oh, sh*t, where are they all

coming from?

It seems pretty quiet.

But door number three is open,

so I'm gonna check it out.

Let's both check it out.

Well, I'm coming, too.

Oh, that's bad.

Sturgill Simpson.

Oh, my God.

Why did you do that?

They're not zombies.

They're just dead people.

Well, yeah, for now, they're

still just dead hipsters,

but they haven't turned yet.

It can take a while.

He's right, Mindy.

Now they're just...

dead hipsters from Cleveland.

Oh, my God.

I can't.

My God.

Well, look at all of you.

So very ravenous,

yet well past

your expiration date.

Oh, man.

Get a load of these two.

Coffee.

- Coffee.

- Coffee.

Oh, God.

Not that again.

Sturgill Simpson.

- ♪ Oh, the dead don't die ♪

- Great song.

♪ Any more than you or I ♪

♪ They're just ghosts

inside a dream ♪

♪ Of a life that we don't own ♪

♪ They walk around us

all the time... ♪

g*dd*mn it.

I can't take any more.

That was irrational, Cliff.

f*ck. Do you think Hank

and Bobby Wiggins

are still in there?

Should we try to get 'em out?

Uh, Cliff, we're drawing

some attention.

Oh, God, Cliff.

Please get us out of here.

Please, Cliff. Please.

That should hold.

g*dd*mn zombies, Bobby.

I know those guys.

They were two of

my best customers.

Yeah, yeah, the Good brothers.

Travis and Dallas Good.

They died in a car crash

some time back.

Oh, sh*t.

Yeah, now I remember

those guys.

The Good brothers.

They were really good guitar pickers.

That's right.

It's-it's like they came out

of the birth canal

with guitars in their hands.

I think you saved my life, man.

No worries, Hank.

sh*t.

- What?

- The f*cking back door.

The back door

to the storage room.

- What?

- Here.

Jesus, Bobby.

sh*t.

There's way too many, Hank.

This here is a nightmare,

Bobby.

We're goners, man.

f*ck.

Come on. Give me that!

Well, I'll be a monkey's a*s.

It's finally payback time.

You g*dd*mn refugees!

I'll get all of you!

You're gonna pay for this!

Get off my property!

- Hey! Ow!

- Mmm.

This is good chicken.

Damn it! Hey!

You want to get out and check?

Uh, I'd-I'd rather not.

Well, that's perfect, isn't it?

Right in the middle

of the f*cking cemetery.

No, it isn't perfect.

Why did you run over them?

They are not

ordinary pedestrians.

This is definitely

gonna end badly.

Shut up, Ronnie.

No, you shut up.

Shut up, Ronnie!

Please stop fighting.

Please.

Mindy.

Mindy...

It's my grandmother.

Oh, God, Granny.

- Mindy, Mindy.

- No.

Mindy, get it together.

It was your grandmother.

I can't take this anymore.

I can't do it!

I'm done with this nightmare.

Granny, I'm coming.

- I'm coming.

- Mindy?

No, Mindy! No, don't!

Oh, no!

Holy f*ck.

God help us.

Centerville.

USA.

A real nice place.

What an amusing little machine.

Oh, here's a curious one.

Hello there.

Fashion.

I can assure you

that is not your tartan.

Nice neck, though.

Come on. I know

a safe place we can hide.

Oh, sh*t.

Is that Danny Perkins?

Over here.

Sure looks like him.

I'm sorry, Ronnie,

if I've lost it.

It's okay, Cliff.

But I got to say,

you have been acting

a lot different

since all this weird sh*t

started happening.

What-what are you

saying, Cliff?

I'm saying that you seem

so oddly controlled.

I mean, sh*t.

Well, I'm just, you know,

dealing with it in my own way.

But I've been telling you

this is all gonna end badly.

g*dd*mn it, Ronnie.

May I ask you a question?

Sure. Ask away.

You have been saying

that this is

all gonna end badly,

from the very beginning,

over and over.

So, what made you

so f*cking sure of that?

How did you know everything

in advance?

Do you really want to know?

Yes!

I want to know.

I really want to know!

Okay. I know because

I've read the script.

You...

read the script.

The whole script?

All of it?

Yeah.

Jim gave me the whole script.

He only gave me our scenes.

I never saw a complete script.

After all... I've done

for that guy.

And it's a lot that

you don't even know about.

What a d*ck.

That's weird.

They're all leaving.

Right. Here we go.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

I think I am.

Was that in the script?

No.

Not the one I read.

Well, that was unexpected.

I knew there was something

unusual about her.

Yeah.

So, Ronnie,

how does it end, then?

Well...

We got to give it

our best shot.

"Our best shot."

Okay. Yeah.

But then it ends badly, right?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, it does.

Okay, then.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Cliff and little Ronnie.

Warriors.

Among the dead.

Zombies.

Remnants of

the materialist people.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, you don't.

I guess they've

been zombies all along.

Ghosts.

Oh, hey, Bobby.

sh*t.

"Nameless miseries

of the numberless mortals."

Frank.

Hey.

You got this coming.

Goodbye, Frank.

You reap what you sow.

All right, who's next?

Ow.

Yuck.

All righty.

Hold your head up.

Granny.

Mindy would want you

to say hi to Grandpa.

Ah, Hank.

I'm so sorry, brother.

I just can't do it.

You take care of yourself.

Danny.

I just saw Hank.

Ashes to ashes.

Dust to dust.

Ronnie.

Mindy!

Cliff.

Ronnie.

No!

Jesus, Ronnie.

The dead just

don't want to die today.

Reanimated and all jacked up,

just like those ants.

The end of the world.

I guess all them ghost people

plumb lost their g*dd*mn souls.

Must have traded 'em away

or sold 'em for gold

or whatnot.

New trucks, kitchen appliances,

new trousers,

Nintendo Game Boys,

sh*t like that.

Just hungry for more stuff.

Oh, down they go.

The sad end

of Cliff and Ronnie.

What a f*cked-up world.

♪ Oh, the dead don't die ♪

♪ Any more than you or I ♪

♪ They're just ghosts

inside a dream ♪

♪ Of a life that we don't own ♪

♪ They walk around us

all the time ♪

♪ Never paying any mind ♪

♪ To the silly lives we lead ♪

♪ Or the reaping

we've all sown ♪

♪ There's a cup of coffee

waiting ♪

♪ On every corner ♪

♪ Someday we're gonna wake up ♪

♪ And find the corners gone ♪

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on ♪

♪ There'll be old friends

walking round ♪

♪ In a somewhat familiar town ♪

♪ That you saw once ♪

♪ When you looked up

from the phone ♪

♪ Nobody bothers saying hi ♪

♪ And you can save

all your goodbyes ♪

♪ Stop trying to pretend ♪

♪ That we're all not at home ♪

♪ And the streets

look so empty ♪

♪ In the morning ♪

♪ There'll be no one

out at night ♪

♪ For the lights

to shine down on ♪

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on ♪

♪ Hearts break ♪

♪ When loved ones journey on ♪

♪ At the thought ♪

♪ That they're now

forever gone ♪

♪ So we tell ourselves

they're all still ♪

♪ Around us all the time ♪

♪ Gone but not forgotten ♪

♪ Just memories left behind ♪

♪ But the dead will still

be walking round ♪

♪ In this old world alone ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on ♪

♪ 'Cause after life is over ♪

♪ The afterlife goes on. ♪