Remington and the Curse of the Zombadings (2011)

[bunniefuu]

h*m*?

h*m*! h*m*!

Discipline your child!

Hi, Fe!

h*m*, h*m*, h*m*!

h*m*...

h*m*...

Child, you may begin your confession

Shouldn't you be the one confessing?

Huh? What do you mean?

You're a h*m*.

h*m*, h*m*, h*m*...

Shh, quiet, don't say that!

h*m*, h*m*, h*m*...

You're a h*m*!

h*m*, h*m*, h*m*...

Remington,
I told you to stop doing that!

A h*m* alright—

h*m* h*m* h*m*!

h*m* h*m* h*m*!

Yes,

I am g*y

Always been, always will be

But you little brat...

You will turn g*y

when you grow up!

REMINGTON & THE CURSE OF THE ZOMBADINGS

Excuse me, Excuse me.

Make way

Stand aside, I said!

You laughing at me?

Mimi, cordon off the area
so we can salvage some evidence

Yes, chief.

Another Diana Rose?

Big hair...

fake eyelashes...

green goo...

g*y

Townmates,
if you want us to catch the k*ller

please cooperate

When you find a victim call the police,

not your neighbors

What was the cause of death?

m*rder

Keep the crime scene intact.
That's basic!

m*rder?
I've never seen a m*rder victim before

I have. All kinds. There's homicide,

suicide, parricide, pesticide

Kidding

My mom's a cop

Really? Groovy!

I know, right?

Cool

I've seen a lot of corpses, too

Victims of lung cancer,
skin cancer, bone cancer...

social cancer

Kidding

My father's an oncologist

Hi

Hello

You're not from here

Yes, I am

By the way my name is—

Remington!

Jigs!

Remington?

You're Remington?

Yup. Do you know me?

Hang on.

Miss! Wait up...

You know her?

She's Montano's daughter.

Montano?

Let's go.

She was my passenger the other day.

What did your mom say?

About what?

The murders. Is there a suspect?

Nope.

Who's the victim?

Janet Jacksonia.

f*ck...

Why, were you two dating?

No way!

Drinks at Table's tonight.

There's also a party at Kevin's.

Great!

Watch the road, you shitheads!

Too bad we missed!

That's her house.

Whose house?

The girl you were talking to
a while ago.

Pass it to me.

sh**t!

Dude?

Dude, did you see that?

I did! That was solid.

You okay?

I don't mean the ball.
The thing that was flying...

Drink up.

Is this your birthday blowout?

That's on the twenty-first.

Cool, it's your twenty-first birthday
on the twenty-first.

That's right.

Hey! Are you drinking or not?

Hey, handsome lads.

Present!

Sir Biyo!

Who among you want a job?

We're quite busy.

I'm short by a few hands.

This doesn't requires brains
which means you're all perfect.

Rearranging furniture
and cleaning the house is all it is.

Have a shot with us, sir.

There's nothing for me
in this nest of lazy drunkards

Might as well go back to Mrs. Montano's.

Mrs. Montano?

Yes, why?

The one with a teenage daughter?

You mean Hannah.

Hannah...

An only child.
She just got back from Manila.

Game, Jigs and I are up for it.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Okay. Be there at 8 A.M.

Easy on the alcohol, don't be late.

Yes, sir. Don't worry.

Second round...

What about the tricycle?

Do the night shift –

not enough tricycles at night.

I'll be your "co-pilot."

Wait for me!

I have to go...

Home!

Be there tomorrow.

Why...? Benedict...

My child!

Sir!

Ma'am!

What?

I'm here.

I know.

Lieutenant Martinez,

you have no witness,

no suspect,

no lead.

Yes, sir.

Wow, wow, wow...

Do you know
what this is doing to our economy?

Five salons have closed down.

It shows in my hair, as you can see.

Besides being kind,
our g*y town mates only bring joy,

beauty, and laughter wherever they go.

Where is Councilor Saliendra?

On an emergency family reunion in Davao.

What about Engineer Saludes?

The subscriber cannot be reached, sir.

Please try your call later, sir.

Confirmed. They're all "conQUEERmed."

Mayor, it would help a lot
if you approved my budget request.

It's been pending since 1999.

Patience!

My God,
you ask for it like it was candy.

Okay, I approve the additional 500.





Get it from Mutya on your way out.

Thank you.

Hey Georgia aren't you scared?

You might be the next one
to get m*rder*d

Stupid!

My boss is a cop

She'll catch that k*ller

and he'll rot in jail

Clean shave!

Are you going to court a girl

Introduce me, okay?

- Of course!
- Hey, buddy.

Buddies! Come in, come in.

Good morning.

Buddies!
Remington's going to court a girl.

Good!

That's good news.

Gotta run.

Make me proud, son!

He's a good boy.

Yes, he is.

Hey, this was your idea.
So put in some work.

Just finding my groove.

Are you cold or something?

Careful, please!

Sir Biyo, take a break.

Hannah—

Hi!

Hm, not bad...

Hannah!

Thank you for the snack,
it was delicious.

Did you cook it?

Ah, your mother did.

Why is she always in black?

Is she in mourning? Who died?

My father.

I'm sorry.

That's why I came back.

Remember my dad?

The one you called "h*m*?"

Me? Why would I do that?

Well, it's true anyway.

Give this to Sir Biyo.

Are we okay now?

I'll show you around
so you don't get bored.

You didn't recognize him?

It was dark, and his face was covered.

The serial k*ller!

Have you told your mom?

[Victim #6, unsolved]

Enter!

Chief?

Out!

Hurry up.

Next batch!

He had a tattoo on his chest.

A tattoo of what?

Mimi!

What are you doing there?

But this is the last batch, chief.

Get out, all of you.

Faster.

Did you tell your Pa?

Son,

is there something you want to tell me?

Huh?

-Are you g*y?
-Ma!

Then it's not the serial k*ller
that attacked you

How can you be so sure?

So far all his victims are g*y

Besides, the cuts on your body
that's not how he operates

-Maybe it was...
-Maybe it was...

a drug addict.

Remington,

what do you plan to do after the summer?

After the fiesta?

I'll help out at the store.

Is that what you really want?

Don't you want to go back to school?

Your aunt's offer is still good.

But that's not what Papa wants.

You're not a boy anymore.

Manila's so crowded anyway,
and polluted.

Do you want me to get—

Lung cancer. I've heard that one before.

Besides,
what good will it do me going there?

I'm okay being here.

It's your life.

I'll close up and wait for you here.

Bye, baby!

Sorry, we're closed.

Just a trim?

Nice ring tone!

You brought a hair dryer?

Looks fab.

But I've lots of that here.

Besides, that's for later.

Let's go.

Jigs, do you think we know the k*ller?

Maybe he's from here.

Hey, where are we?

What's up?

Something happened to Tonya.

Where's Remington?

He left already.

He told me to wait.

Where are we?

Who are you?

What do you want?

Hey!

I have no time for this.

Sir Biyo said you were having your house
decorated for the fiesta.

Didn't he tell you?
There's no work here today.

They ran out of
fuschia-colored rice paper.

Mommy said why not do
the entire house in black?

Incredible.

Where'd all your stuff go?
You could skate in here.

Mommy doesn't want to see anything
that reminds her of Daddy.

Yet she continues to stay.

She doesn't want to leave, either.

That's why I had to come back.

Bad trip. f*cking sh*t.

What am I supposed to do in this town?

Nothing happens here.

Everything's in slow motion.

And everyone likes to stare.

What's your plan then?

I'll continue my studies.
And start a business.

I'll turn downstairs
into a dorm for students.

No, a billiard hall is better!

A hangout for bums –
no shortage of that here.

Ouchie!

-Huh?
-Huh?

Okay, bye.

Hannah, wait.

What is it?

Ten snaps for the makeup!

I mean—

I know.

You really think it's okay?

You batch!

Sister, you look fantabulous!

Reminton.

Hi, mumsie!

Good morning, ma'am.

Good morning, too, son.

There's no work here today.

Y-y-yes, ma'am...

Han-nah... t-t-t-old... me.

I didn't know you were so funny.

Must dash!

I have to mind the store.

Popsie might go Rambo, bang-bang. Bang!

Bye!

I didn't get everything he said.

but I liked the sound of it...

Must dash...

Remington.

Mom's cooking a yummy afternoon snack.

Drop by!

Hey, isn't that Georgia's shirt?

Woopsie daisy...

What's wrong with him?

I bet you kept him up late drinking.

Remington, what's the matter with you?

Sink

Mirror

Towel

Bucket

Toilet

Door-othy!

Serviette

Farrah Fawcett

Sink or swim

Mirror mirror on the wall

Bouquet

John Holmes of Flushing, Queens!

Oh no!

f*ck sucky yuchy!

Fiesta's almost here.

So?

After the fiesta
another school year starts.

Maybe it's time you let Remington
go to Manila to finish school.

He can stay with his aunt.

I never said he couldn't go.

It's he who doesn't want to.

He's afraid they'll make him
a house boy.

And besides,

he doesn't want to get lung cancer.

Where was I...

[Remington]

ConQUEERmed!

To all you gays, h*m*,
f*gs, fairies, q*eers, queens,

and last but not least,

those still in the closet –

go easy on the cruising!

It's safer to do it in groups
so why not hold orgies instead? Joke!

Townmates, if you have any information

that could help us catch the k*ller
please do not hesitate to call us...

You know what,
beauty pageants were created for women.

But for the pleasure of us men.

You got that right.

Sometimes, though,
they can be quite amusing.

-Who?
-The h*m* and their pageants...

What do you find amusing?

The question and answer portion!

Like, for example?

I don't remember. But they crack me up.

Because they're hideous!

Hey you,
this conversation is only for humans.

Remington! How are you?

Have a shot.

Drink up, son!

That's more like it!

Doesn't he take after me?

Son, we're drinking
at Berting's tonight.

Join us, okay?

Surely Temple!

What?

Don't be afraid, Isko.

We've kept your identity secret.

What can you tell me about that night?

Tonya and I were supposed to meet
at her salon.

A gray, box type Lancer.

Remember anything else?

That's it, Ma'am Fe.

Oh, the g*n that he used –
I've seen it before.

Where?

My classmate Ernesto Manansala
invented it.

Ernesto,

relax.

Do you remember your thesis project?

The thing you invented so you can tell

if a goat was g*y and will not mate—

Ernesto...

the Gaydar.

I lost it.

Liar!

What does the gaydar do?

It can detect h*m* in animals.

Unfortunately there was
a fatal accident with the goat I tested.

Once I fix the animal gaydar,

it will help improve
the productivity of cattle raisers.

And g*y animals
will be put to better use,

as pets... or they can work as

commercial models...

h*m* exists
in all animal species.

It was by accident that
I discovered the correlation

of the biochemical properties of

h*m* animals
to the electron discharge of the—

Ernesto...

What happened?

I don't know.

You're nothing but a—!

Mimi!

Where is the gaydar?

It was stolen

Dynamite!

Next he takes off his pants.

She goes, "Wow! Really dynamite!"

But when he removes his briefs,

she says, "What's that, the wick?"

Wick! I thought you were going
to say "d*ck!"

What's this?

Hey Suarez,
are you going to perm my hair?

It's so girly...

[Gaydar talking] Connection conQUEERmed!

...or should I say so g*y?

Berting is a f*gg*t...

You're the k*ller?

We are.

Your mom will get upset
when she sees your room this messy.

-Son, I have a prob—
-Pa, I have a prob—

-Go ahea—
-Go ahea—

Forget mine.

What's bothering you?

Nada. Forget about it.

Another Diana Rose.

It's Berting.

The tapioca vendor who
just separated from his wife.

This only means that...

He's confirmed.

Poor Berting.

Just when he was starting
to enjoy his life.

Ma'am, I have the list of
the gray box-type Lancer owners.

What are you doing here?

My father threw me out.

Your mom let me in.

You were already sleeping.

Damn you!

You don't want me sleeping here?

It's not that.

You frightened me.

I had a fight with my Pa.

Damn it, too much drama!

Jigs,

I also have a problem.

Huh?

Someone is after me. Like, Death!

What?

Nothing!

Bro, is there a problem?

That's what I'm trying to say!

Huh? Bro...

Whatever it is, you can tell me.

Can I sleep over again tonight?

Still at w*r with my father.

Okay if I sleep next to you again?

What do you say, bro?

Wait for me, I'll park.

Okay.

-Is Sir Biyo here?
-He's not here yet.

Have a snack with us.

Are you sure it's okay?

Snack's here, time for a break.

Come on, join us.

Remington!

So hot!

I should go.

I have... thingz.

Bye!

Hello, Miss Beautiful.

Remington!

Remington!

Hannah...

How are you?

I missed you.

For real?

-Really, I did.
-Why?

Why?

You make me feel so much...

I believe

you make me want to
experience new things in the world

and discover things about myself

that even I did not know before.

I do believe

I become myself

when I am with you.

I...

thank you.

Later, girlfriend!

Girlfriend?

Already?

Tell me where you got the love potion.

Why is Hannah acting so sweet
all of sudden?

You're almost there inside her pants.

My God, Jigs.
Show some respect for women!

You really have a problem.

Let's eat, it's on me...

next time!

Remember when we
used to jump over there?

We wanted to see who could go higher.

One time you ran smack
into a carabao [water buffalo].

I had to carry you all the way
to your house.

Remember?

We were in grade school.

Why so quiet?

Nothing

I think we were in fifth grade...

Where are you going?

I can't stand it anymore.

-The store?
-No, stupid!

Hey, nice bag!

Thanks, I got it cheap.

It's a winner.

Wait! You understand what I'm saying?

Of course.
Remington, I don't want to die yet.

What's wrong, girl?

Look at me closely.

A makeover?

I'm g*y! One look at me and you know.

Remington,
they're k*lling the gays in this town.

I'm out of here.

-Goodbye, Remington
-Wait, Georgia!

Please stay.

What?

I need you

You do?

You're the only who one
who understands me.

Really?

I've got a problem.

There's this guy
that's been haunting me.

He's got a nice body but no face.

First he shaved off
all the hair on my body.

Then he tied my tongue in a knot.

And then he did something
to my heart so now...

I'm falling for my best friend!

I don't know what to do next.

You know what?

It'll be a pity if you turned g*y.

You're too handsome!

Sis!

That's not
a politically correct thing to say.

The g*y community will not approve!

I don't care!

Sis, help me!

I know.

What?

I know!

What?

Mister faith healer,

tell us what to do.

It's not me you want.

I'm just the assistant.

Looking for me?

Hi, love!

Leave us alone for a minute, okay?

I know him!

He put a curse on me
when I was a little boy.

Shush!

You need to find him.

They're the beauty pageant candidates.

Why are they doing the photo sh**t here?

The pageant's motif is ancestral homes,

that's why they're here.

Such nonsense.

They're all so lovely.

No way. You're lovelier by far.

Truly!

Hey Sandy!

Where were you?

Do you play?

No.

I think you do.

Look at those fingers,
long like candles.

Flatterer.

My daddy used to tell me –

those with fingers like candles
should play the piano.

He said mine looked like
candlewax dripped all over them.

Sit.

That's all I know.

I knew you could play.

You call that playing?

We used to have a piano.

So you took lessons.

No.

I got scared.

Huh?

When the teacher came,

I ran

Why did you do that?

Sorry, Remington.

What for?

I was wrong about you.

I thought boys were all the same.

Turns out you're different.

Hannah.

Even the way you talk is different.

But most of all you make my mom happy

and that makes me happy.

Hannah, I have to tell you something.

Don't be shy. Jigs, eat!

Come, dear, join them.

Take my picture with the candidates...

I think I know what it is.

My answer is yes!

It's not that, it's not that!

It's just that...

I feel different.

I am changing.

What?

I won't keep it from you any longer.

I'm falling for...

Jigs.

Jigs?!

Yes!

Would you believe me
if I told you I was cursed?

For real?

Bring it on!

Good you're home.

Jigs, I'll borrow your tricycle, okay?

Where are you going? I'll take you.

No.

I don't want you mixed up in this.

Stop it!

We're friends!

Nothing's gonna change that!

Okay, fine!

My God...

You're obviously not drunk.

I lied to you.

About what?

I'm not a virgin anymore.

Hello! I know that.

With gays!

It's not true I don't do it with them.

Why didn't you tell me?

I know you.

You'd think it low of me.

Then I find out...

You're also hiding something from me.

What are you talking about?

How long have you been in love with me?

Why did you keep it from me?

Did you think I'd be grossed out?

That I'd laugh at you?

Avoid you?

If I was okay with it with others...

What more with you?

Come here.

Jigs!

Shh!

Wait, wait wait!

Go, go, go!

sh*t!

Are you done?

Can't do it.

You might go next.

What do you mean?

I mean, die.

Who'll die?

You!

If ever...

You're the k*ller?

No!

Janet Jacksonia,

Tonya,

and even Mang Berting...

You had sex with them?

Yes!

Before they were k*lled.

Sorry, bro!

That was close!

[Feast of St. Isidore the Farm Laborer]

Berting was all over him.

Welcome to the club, Ed!

Doesn't that thing run out of power?

Where's your f*gg*t?

You mean Georgia?

He suddenly took off.

You must have warned him.

I made a deal with you, remember?

I'll go along with you
if you leave Georgia alone.

But why do this?
Why do you hate gays so much?

Don't you?

Sometimes.

When Georgia is being hard-headed.

Gays are insidious.

They slowly erode our...

...to protect our country,

our youth, our future!

Where are you off to?

Next town-

-Hannah's!
-Who?

We're going to Hannah's place.

Cool. This one's a real playboy.

Just like his father.

Where's the booze?

Let's get some.

Connection detected. q*eer?
Connection c-co-con-confused!

Are we looking for a dead person?

Don Mario Ricafuerte—Born 1917,
Died 1986—Rest In Peace

It's clean.

Someone's taking good care of it.

This is where I saw him! He was crying.

Who?

The person who put a curse on him!

Look.

Yoohoo, papi!

Let me.

Excuse us!

Do you know who visits here often?

Yes,

the person most beloved
by the deceased—Pops Ricafuerte.

g*y?

A really good person.

Do you know where we can find him?

Hello!

Oh, young ones!

How can I be of help?

We're here—

Do you remember me?

I was little then.

Sorry, kid.

I do not know you.

I'm the boy you cursed.

Cursed?

I've never done such a thing!

Think hard.

You said I'd turn g*y when I grew up.

I said that?

I don't recall.

You may leave.

Hang on.

Remington, wait.

It's you!

You cursed me!

You're the h*m*!

h*m*! h*m*! h*m*!

Yes! It was I who cursed you.

You stupid brat!

You deserved it.

You deserve it!

Tell me how to get rid of the curse.

Tell me!

That hurts!

Okay, okay!

I do not know.

Wait!

I don't know how to reverse it,

but we can talk to the spirit.

Hold hands.

Follow after me.

Mischievous spirit, appear.

Mischievous spirit, appear.

Make your presence felt here, now.

Make your presence felt here, now.

We do not fear you.

We do not fear you.

Or your unfortunate face.

Or your unfortunate face.

Mischievous spirit, appear.

Mischievous spirit, appear.

Make your presence felt here, now.

Make your presence felt here, now.

We do not fear you.

We do not fear you.

Or your unfortunate face.

Or your unfortunate face.

Don't let go.

And now ladies and gentlemen,

straight from the Unknown Bar,
let's give a warm welcome to

the fabulous, sensational,
spectacular, ravishing boys—

Randy, Echo, Kenneth, Jethro,
Elton John,

TJ, and... Zarudah!

You're almost there...
I can smell you already.

Do not let go of his hand!

You won't get Remington!

Can we get rid of the curse?

Only if a real man agrees to turn g*y.

A virgin who hasn't tried g*y sex.

I hope you find your replacement.

I hope so, too.

We'll come back
if we have any more questions, okay?

Surely.

f*ggots.

Ninong? [Godfather]

I pity your father.

What a waste.

A waste!

The nerve!

Who do you think you are?

Get out of my property!

You're the k*ller!

Remington, let's go!

My God!

Faster!

I'm going as fast as I can!

Do you see that?

What is it?

Up there!

Oh no!

My God...

Oh, my God!

Oh. My. God!

Nooooo!

Remington, calm down!

There's still time!

Oh, my God...

There's still time!

Noooo...

Where's the birthday boy?

I've been texting but he hasn't replied.

Where do I put these?

Anywhere.

Those of you who have fallen
to that wicked g*n

Wake up, wake up!

And let those murderers

Meet your sweet revenge

sonofab*tch!

That hurt!

Snap out of it!

We're out of time.

Let's get this straight.
Someone has to switch places.

with Remington to turn g*y?

That's right.

And that person will start liking boys?

And stop liking girls?

We're forgetting something.

My replacement has to be a virgin—

Who among you have
no sexual experience with gays?

Odi and Juno.

Nothing wrong with being g*y.

My Uncle Elmo sent me to school.

I screwed up, though,
so now he's sending my sister.

Good thing he's not here—

it's dangerous.

Yeah, they're alright.

Game, I'm okay with it.

You are?

Go through with it, bro.

I will still be here for you
when you're g*y.

They have a point.

Remington.

Listen to me. You're not g*y.

Snap out of it. We can fight this.

Thanks, but...

Girl, I'm tired.

None of us wanted this

but what can we do?

Time to move on, okay?

No.

You don't deserve to be called g*y.

The gays I know,

they know how to put up a fight.

Some of them fight all their lives

But you...

You just do what's easy for you.

Even if it means giving up

what you love and who you are.

Guys...

I'm g*y!

I knew it. You weren't drunk that night.

Hannah.

You're right.

I shouldn't turn back on
who I really am.

Me too!

Time's running out. Let's go!

Mimi...

You have the list of
all the Lancer owners

who work at Ernesto's school.

Chief?

What?

Tonya, Mang Berting, and the captain...

Are they in hell?

Are you serious?

Yes. I asked for a sign,
a white flower to be exact.

But I forgot what the sign
was supposed to mean.

Maybe you should eat the flower
and wait for the answer to come.

That's right...

You're truly brilliant, Chief.

That's why I'm the Chief.

Friends, tonight we will find out
who the lucky girl is.

Meanwhile let's wish
our judges good luck–

they have a tough job ahead.

Do you want to win?

Yes, sir.

What's your celfone number?



We'll find someone.

Buddy, do you want to turn g*y?
For a fee?

What? You want a good beating?

Why don't we put this off till
after the fiesta?

Buddy, what's that?

Bro, look. She's crying.

Okay, give it a try. Say this.

What's he supposed to say?

I run a scholarship fund for girls...

You can take up any course you want to.

Okay, sir.

What do you want to be?

An engineer, sir.

An engineer?
You think you can handle it?

-Are you good at Math?
-Yes, sir.

-8 times 4?
-6?

Correct.

Thank you, sir.

The make-up is fantastic.

Totally.

What a fresh approach.

How daring.

Why does your perfume smell like...

sh*t?

You want to win?

Okay. Go home and take a bath.

He's g*y.

What're you waiting for? Use the g*n!

It's not working.

It's Berting.

Berting!

Get down!

What the... Chief?

Let's go! There's too many of them!

Ouch, that hurts!

I said let go!

Remington!

Ninong! [Godfather]

Buddy, don't!

Ha! It's fake!

I assure you, my son is not g*y!

Help me!

Help me!

Help me!

Hannah!

Someone cursed me when I was small.

That he will turn g*y when he grew up.

It's happening

I love you...

Nonsense!

How I wish it were not real...

Oh, oh... What do we have here.

Someone's turned. No... Oh dear,
it's been there all along.

You hid it too well
and for far too long.

Now look what you've done.

Oh no!

Welcome to the Club, sir!

Hey, zombading! [g*y zombie]

Let's see who's tougher.

For my town!

Come back here!

Zombading!

Hello!
Ouch... Ouch!

Hannah,

listen.

I want you to remember

how I loved you once.

Please don't forget.

Even when I've already forgotten.

Remington...

Tell me.

How can we get rid of the curse?

If someone takes my place.

A straight man.

Okay, game.

Really?

What do I do?

You'll do it?

Pa...

We're out of time, son.

You'd rather turn g*y

than have a g*y son?

Remington.

I've had my swing at life.

You're just starting.

I want you to be happy,
as you really are.

Time's running out.

But what about you?

What's wrong?

Do I stop being a father when I'm g*y?

What about mom?

She'll understand.

I,

Eduardo Felimon Martinez,

hereby agree to turn g*y

and stay one for the rest of my life.

Remington.

Remington.

Ma'am, Ma'am! A few questions.

What can you say
about recent events here in Lucban?

You can direct
all your questions to her.

Chief?

You can do it!

Ma'am...

There's talk that what happened here
was just a hoax.

It's all too... weird.

What do you say to that?

I've seen a lot of things happen
in this town.

Things that
I never thought possible.

Not even in my imagination.

Not even in my nightmares.

But they happened anyway.

And they are still happening.

How pretentious!

Kids,

what do you think of
the famous Lucban noodles?

Delicious!

So you're all set to go?

Manila's not that far.

Right.

What if you were to study there again?

I'm okay being here.

It hones my patience.

In that case I'll stay.

They high school
marching band master said

I could be his assistant.

You're frightened, aren't you?

A little bit.

Don't be. I know you can do it.

Move!

Jerk, you're ruining the moment.

Go on, play it.

Go, Jigs!

Girls... double time!

A big order came in from Germany.

[Zombreros Inc. Head Office]

[RIP]

[Suarez I. Suarez,
born: Dec/30/1966, died: May/20/2010]

[Serge Veluz,
born: Feb/19/1970, died: May/20/2010]

[Best Friends]

-Come.
-Yes, dear.

Here goes.

Here's my fare.

Ma, look, a h*m*

She's beautiful!

When the world was still brand new...

Okay, okay,
at least before the Spaniards came,

gays were not given equal treatment.

They were given better treatment.

They're exceptional beings,

after all.

Sages. And it is said that
they could cross between worlds

both visible and invisible.

In other words,
they were treated like superstars.

Admired, revered, celebrated.

As in,
"Bro, I hear your son is bakla [g*y]."

Congrats! Drinks on you!

Hang on.

The words "bakla" or "bro"

or "congrats" didn't exist then.

Anyway, like I said,

"bakla" [g*y]
wasn't in our ancestors' vocabulary.

That word's origin is sketchy.

To be "bakla" means to be a coward...

whose manhood fell short.

As if straight people didn't get scared.

Tsk. I wonder who demoted the goddesses.

The English language is kinder.

"g*y" - happy!

While here, we reduced them superstars
into a synonym for "takot" [fear].

Can you blame them if they
came up with their own dictionary?

For example,
they turned the word "takot" into—

well, why not?— "shokot."