Barista, The (2025)

[bunniefuu]

(brooding music)

(mysterious music)

(logo whooshes)

(logo thuds)

(woman laughing)

I totally disagree.

My dad beat my a*s every chance he got.

Nah, I scratch that. Every

time I stepped outta line.

And I think I turned out okay.

Well, that's great for you Brandon,

but everyone isn't so lucky.

What about the ones

that it did not work out for?

The ones that are still

scarred psychologically from spanking?

That's what we're dealing

with in today's society.

Look at social media.

Look at the suicide rates

that we have in children.

It's through the roof.

And you said it yourself.

Your dad beat you up.

Oh. Okay, let's-let's

clarify a few things, right?

I agree with you 100%

about today's suicide rate.

I just don't draw a direct comparison

to getting your a*s beat.

And to further clarify, I do

believe there is a difference

between disciplining your

child and beating your child.

My parents never beat me.

They disciplined me and made me aware

that there was a

consequence for bad behavior.

And I'm sure you yourself were disciplined

when you were a child, correct?

Or are you gonna sit

here and try to tell me

that your parents never laid a hand on you?

Well, of course they did,

but I never said that they didn't.

Do you think you deserved it?

Did I deserve to be beaten?

- Absolutely not.

- No, no, no.

My question was, did you

deserve to be disciplined?

Oh.

Ah, okay, so maybe in your case,

the person providing the

discipline had a bad day.

And that's exactly my point.

Since we can't determine

who is qualified and who isn't

to administer this discipline, you say,

we must remove it completely

and make it fair across the board.

See, that right there

is my biggest problem.

Why are we trying to make

things fair for everybody?

It wasn't fair for our parents growing up.

Hell, it wasn't fair for us growing up.

But we seem to be

willing to break our backs

to make everything

fair for this generation.

Why?

Newsflash, young people.

Life isn't fair, nor will it ever be.

You have a limited amount of time,

so you better make the most of it.

And you could do that without being a d*ck.

So you think the pursuit

of fairness is the problem?

No.

I think the way we handle today's kids

with padded gloves is the problem.

Just take a look around

when you go outside.

We've padded all the playgrounds

so nobody falls and gets hurt.

We've taken away

competition so nobody feels bad

about not coming in

first, second, or third.

Let's just give out participation trophies.

We've rewarded mediocrity for so long

that we now have mediocre kids

that even we know are not

prepared to run the world.

That's why 50 is the

new 40, 30 is the new 20.

Hell, man, we need way

more than 10 more years

to do the jobs that we haven't been doing.

Well, I beg to differ.

We no longer need to continue

to operate in the dark ages

when our kids are afraid of us.

We gotta expound our way of thinking

and evolve our way of-

And I would like to continue

this discussion with you, Dr. Amusa,

but it looks like we'll

have to end our session

agreeing to disagree.

I appreciate you for

coming on the show today.

I would be honored to have you back on

to continue this discussion

on another episode.

Thank you, everybody out there listening.

Please remember to like, comment,

and if you haven't, subscribe.

And also remember, I don't

have to like what you say,

and you don't have to like what I say,

but we should both have the freedom

to speak what's on our minds.

Until next time, this is Brandon Jones.

Peace out.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- All right then.

Hey, Doctor, it was nice...

Huh!

Damn. I guess

someone's still a little upset.

- Little bit. Seems like it.

- Yeah.

You know, Dr. Amusa is

just like his books. Overrated!

You know, uh, his books are so good,

I didn't really get a

chance to read 'em yet.

(both laughing)

And clearly he doesn't know

how to take criticism well at all.

I wasn't even criticizing

him or his point of view.

I was just saying everything

isn't that black and white,

as he was stating, you know.

There's a lotta gray area

that people don't wanna make room for.

Look, all I know is that

was one hell of a show.

You weren't rude, and you

didn't back down on either.

I mean, your followers,

they gonna eat this sh*t up, and I love it,

and I cannot wait to see the comments

after we post this show. (Brandon chuckles)

Yeah.

Uh, I guess I should feel bad,

but I don't.

(both laughing)

Now, don't get me wrong, though.

I don't like the fact that

he left outta here upset.

You know, I want this to be a space

where people could come in

and speak freely, you know?

Yeah.

But I just don't wanna

feel like I have to agree

with every guest in order

to have a great interview.

True, true, but you have

a right to your opinion,

and I can respect that.

Some people, they just so

damn sensitive. You feel me?

Right, and now it's

gotten to the point where it's,

if I don't like something,

I don't want you or anyone

else even talking about it.

I mean, that sh*t is just ridiculous to me.

I mean, if you don't

like what I have to say,

plug your damn ears, turn the damn channel,

but don't you f*cking force enstrictions

on me or what I have to

say because you don't like it.

Because

who in the f*ck are you?

- Who in the f*ck are you?

- Right?

- My point exactly.

It got me sweating.

I'm about to make a

caffeine run. You wanna roll?

You buying?

n*gga, when the f*ck am I not buying?

Then yeah, let's roll.

I know you can't go too

long without your liquid crack.

Come on, pooky, don't do me like that.

It keeps calling me, man.

It keeps calling me, man.

Hey, I'll suck your d*ck

for a cup of coffee.

- n*gga, get off me, man!

Come on, just... Shut your fiending a*s.

Black, two sugars?

(upbeat music)

Hey, man, I been

wanting to ask you, brother.

So were you really serious

about bringing back Dr. Amusa

for another episode, man?

Yo. No, no, no, not at all.

I was just, uh...

I said that for the fans, man.

I didn't want them to

think I was a real d*ck.

Yeah, dude was, you know,

he was a little rude and stuff.

Yeah. Well, hold up.

Oh. Why, thank you, good sir.

Oh, no problem at all.

Can I get the usual and his-his soft tea?

Just hot tea, by the way. I like tea.

Yeah, man, I mean, he stormed off,

and I reached my hand for a handshake,

and he acted like I had COVID or something.

Tell me, did you smell

it, though? You might.

No, man. (Brandon laughing)

Don't talk about the smell my hand, man.

Nah, he really, he really

stormed outta that though, man.

(both laughing)

But no, uh, on a serious note, man, like,

(upbeat music)

I'm really looking forward

to all the responses

from this podcast, man.

Like, you've been getting bolder and bolder

with every guest, and I love it.

Hey, man, look, I'm

just keeping them 100.

True that, true that.

But hey, seriously, though,

we gotta be very careful,

'cause there's a lotta crazies out there

that don't like you and

don't agree with you, okay?

So there's gonna be a lot of

backlash with being popular.

Can you handle that?

- Handle it?

- Yeah.

You must not have listened

to my last podcast, huh?

- Oh, I did.

- I mean,

if I can handle my mom and

my dad whooping my a*s,

I can handle some weak-a*s haters.

All right, man, all right.

I'm just saying, man.

But that's what I'm here

for, is to watch your back,

and then make sure that you can still do

these wonderful podcasts,

'cause, uh, I gotta protect my investment,

'cause you my meal ticket.

And my penthouse suite, sh*t ain't cheap.

Wait. Nah, scratch the penthouse, man.

What you talking about

with this meal ticket?

That's-that's all I am to you?

Yeah, n*gga. You ain't my woman.

Well, sh*t, I know that, man.

But you sure do make it sound

like I'm your little b*tch or something.

[Mike] Hey, I ain't say all that now.

Okay, so what are you saying?

I'm just saying it. You

know what I'm saying?

No.

(both laughing)

Bro, you...

(Mike laughing)

(brooding music) (birds twittering)

(computer beeping)

(mouse clicking)

(crickets chirping)

(gentle music)

(sighs) That was your

best pot roast to date, honey.

Didn't I tell you I

started at Le Cordon Bleu?

(Julian speaks in foreign language)

I think you forgot that little tidbit.

And I forgot to mention

that I'm having drinks

with the Kardashians after work tomorrow.

Oh, honey, you're not Black,

so I plan for you to be on

time for dinner tomorrow.

I'm gonna go shower, and

then I'm gonna give you dessert.

Hmm. Don't threaten me with a good time.

Just hurry up. Don't let things get cold.

Don't worry.

(phone chimes) (laid-back music)

Mm, mm, mm.

Woo! That man's gonna be the death of me.

I tell you what, I'ma die

with a smile on my face.

(doorbell ringing)

It's that drunk-a*s Mrs.

Parker again, locked out.

More than just a little tipsy

He got me wired so I won't talk

"Hey there, girl, give me your cup

I don't think it's strong enough

You're thinking 'bout it way too much"

(sighs) Mrs. Parker, now, you know...

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you

were somebody else. (Chuckles)

Wait a minute. This is my sh*t.

(suspenseful music)

Oh, please!

Please, please! No, no, no!

No! (Blows thudding)

(crickets chirping)

(birds twittering)

(pensive music)

All right. Let's see.

- Welcome in.

- Hi.

Let me get a large Colombian

hazelnut, made with oat milk,

a shot of espresso, a shake of cinnamon,

and six sugars on the side, please.

Coming right up.

Thank you.

(Brandon muttering) (machine whirring)

(mixer whirring)

(eerie music)

- Here you go.

A large Colombian hazelnut,

with a shot of espresso,

made with some oat

milk, a shake of cinnamon,

with six sugars on the side.

Just the way you like it. Piping hot.

Thank you.

Here you go.

(terminal beeping)

5.95.

(terminal chimes)

Okay.

Thank you so much.

No problem.

(laid-back music)

Good morning.

- How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

Good.

- Love the fro.

- Thank you.

Hey, Mike.

So whose a*s do I get to

chew a piece out of today, man?

I know you got something juicy for me

to sink my teeth into, right?

All right.

Damn, boss.

You good? (Foreboding music)

Ironic as it sounds,

yesterday's news has now

become today's headlines.

Is this who I think this is?

Yeah.

So we have to be very careful

how we handle all of this.

Now, I've already had five

phone calls this morning

with people trying to

get you on their show.

Now, I'm not saying

any of this is a bad thing,

but it will not be smart of us

to not have this conversation, all right?

So we gotta be on the same

frequency through all of this.

Now, you said that you wanted

your face out there and everything.

Here it is.

Now, we have to keep the narrative,

and not come off as opportunistic assholes

willing to do whatever it takes

to get they 15 minutes of fame, feel me?

Yeah, but we are totally

opportunistic assholes

willing to do anything

for 15 minutes of fame.

You know that, right?

Yeah, but they don't

need to know all that.

All right, well, look,

on a serious note, Mike,

I agree with you, and I

appreciate your honesty, man,

'cause it really could be

a great opportunity for us,

or a curtain call if we

handle it the wrong way.

Look, man, I'm not

worried about you, all right?

Just do you, be you, and

let the chips fall they may.

Wait, wait, hold on.

Maybe not 100% you.

Maybe just 70/30 split of you.

- That sounds about right.

- Oh, so,

what you trying to say, Mike?

100% of me is too much

for people to handle, man?

Nah, nah, I ain't say all that now.

Okay, so what are you saying?

I'm just saying. You know what I'm saying?

(laughs) This dude. (Mike laughing)

You know, besides that,

Mike, I still appreciate you, man.

You're one of the few people I know

that actually put their

money where their mouth is.

Well, look, for you,

I'm putting all of my

money where your mouth is.

Speaking of that, are you ready

to have another great show?

Ah, yes, sir.

- Yeah, for sure.

- Of course.

Oh my goodness.

The living legend himself.

(upbeat music) My man, Terry.

- What's going on, man?

- What's up, Mike?

- Long time.

- I'm good, man?

How's it going? Good seeing you, man.

Hey, I want you to meet somebody.

- One of your young guys?

- Yeah, this is Brandon.

- How's it going?

- How you doing, man?

Nice to meet you. How's it going?

Yeah, I'm good.

So this is an up-and-coming podcaster,

a very popular podcaster.

We would love to have you on the show

just to talk football, life,

whatever you wanna talk about.

Your Hall of Fame career.

I don't know, you know.

It'll-it'll be good to talk about it.

I'm-I'ma go sit and have a cup of coffee.

Do you guys wanna join me?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Shall we sit outside?

- Oh, that sounds good.

- Let's go outside.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Gotta let the legend come out.

- Oh yeah.

- Excuse me.

You got it first, my man. Nah, you good.

Ah, hold it for me too. Thank you.

(gentle music)

(crickets chirping)

Lookit. This is just for you.

A plate for a queen, my love.

Watch it.

Remember, paws down.

You got it.

The drink's for me, my mouse.

Look. Look at this

juicy piece of chicken.

Is that good?

Do you want me to break

these ones up for you too?

I got you.

(barista chuckling)

Here's another piece.

Here's another one too.

I love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I think the way we handle today's kids

with padded gloves is the problem.

Just take a look around

when you go outside.

We've padded all the playgrounds

so nobody falls and gets hurt.

We've taken away

competition so nobody feels bad

about not coming in

first, second, or third.

Let's just give out participation trophies.

We've rewarded mediocrity for so long

that we now have mediocre

kids that even we know

are not prepared to run the world.

That's why 50 is the new 40,

30 is the new 20. (Eerie music)

But honestly, (gentle music)

I think we can find something

way more interesting to talk about

than genome therapy.

Like what?

Like how beautiful you make bathwater.

And taste.

Can I touch you?

Yes.

Please.

[Brandon] Please what?

Touch me.

(barista moaning)

(eerie music)

(brooding music)

(crickets chirping)

(birds twittering)

(dramatic music)

(car beeping)

(mixer whirring)

(upbeat music)

(Brandon muttering) (people applauding)

All right.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Yeah? Man, look, y'all are awesome.

Thank y'all for listening.

All right. Got fans.

Uh, oh, everyone, please be aware

that this men's money

is no longer good here.

Oh my god.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'll be paying for this man's coffee,

and everyone else's coffee in this line.

(people cheering)

Huh?

Huh?

Thank you, thank you, thank

you, thank you, thank you.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

Oh, I can. It just

won't be fun if I don't.

(both chuckling)

[Brandon] This guy, man.

- Oh, wait.

- What's up?

Does, uh, everyone get

that service in line like that too?

I remember women used

to look at me like that.

Like what?

Never lose that young, man.

- Lose what?

- Oh, to be young again.

Come on, let's go. Come on, we gotta go.

Got a show to do.

(pensive music)

[Brandon] As always,

nothing I do is possible

without all of you out there listening.

You guys have no idea

how much (barista moaning)

All of your comments,

your thoughts and prayers,

motivate me to keep striving

to find a better version of myself daily.

So please, please keep those

letters and emails coming in.

I promise you, it may take

me a minute to respond,

but I read each and every one of them.

(crickets chirping)

(seagulls squawking)

(birds twittering)

(people chattering)

(door squeaking)

(melancholy music)

Looks good. Okay.

Oh sh*t, I'm sorry! You all right?

Yes, I'm okay, baby. You

ain't gotta worry about it.

Come bump into me anytime.

(scoffs) Jesus!

- Oh! I'm so sorry.

- God!

Yeah. Sorry.

God, man.

I must still be waking up,

'cause I keep bumping into sh*t.

[Mike] Or it might be some sh*t

that's trying to bump into you.

Huh.

(upbeat music)

Can I help you, miss?

Ooh, did you see that

man? He was was so fine.

I heard this is his spot.

I don't even drink coffee, but you know.

But the things I wanna do to him.

Trying to do a little one-two,

know what I'm saying?

(eerie music)

(screams) You f*cking

b*tch! You broke my nose!

I'm sorry, we can't let our customers

do their makeup on the front counter.

It's a little unsanitary.

So if there's nothing

I can help you with...

Well, since we're giving out orders,

can you take my order?

Yes, of course. What can I get you?

Can I get a match a latte?

(terminal beeping)

Medium, large?

Large, baby. Nothing small.

One large. $7, please.

(terminal chimes) Accepted. Imagine that.

It never declines.

Um, well, uh, once it's ready,

you can go ahead and

bring this to the table out front.

- Thank you.

- Absolutely.

Coming right up.

(children yelling)

(pensive music)

So guess who got a phone

call from Raya's people?

Seems like they're

interested in doing the show.

- What?

- Mm-hmm.

When did you hear from

'em, and why you ain't tell me?

n*gga, what do you

think I'm doing right now?

All right. What did they say?

Man, come on, Mike. What they say?

Oh, okay. Look, look, all right.

I'll tell you. Just calm down.

First, let me get a cup

of my coffee because

my throat's a little parched.

- Oh my god, bro.

If you won't tell me what

they said I'll beat your a*s, bro.

Okay. All right, all right.

All right, all right. Calm down.

- Damn!

- All right.

So check this out.

They called me this morning,

and they said they got your emails,

and they were very, very impressed.

They said they like what they heard.

Wait, they heard?

Yes, and,

and they want me to send over

a few links of the past podcasts,

and check it out to see what they think,

and if they like what they hear,

the next steps is to set up a meeting.

Oh, oh!

You serious right now?

Hey, I'm a m*therf*cking

heart attack, n*gga.

Hey, if we can knock

this sh*t out the park,

the sky's the limit.

(laid-back music) (children yelling)

Hey, a pretty lady. Here's your coffee.

Wow, that is such a lovely shade.

I could never pull something like that off.

Oh, that's so kind of you.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I can

pull anything you got going on.

But we're winning,

aren't we, girl? (Laughs)

(upbeat music)

Oh, we gonna knock it out the park, bro.

Okay. All right, let's make a show.

Hey.

Don't f*ck this sh*t up.

I ain't gonna f*ck it up, man. Trust me.

Okay, this is... Excuse me, gentlemen.

Um, and pardon me for interrupting.

You two are just such valued customers.

I thought it was only

right to inform you directly.

(chuckles) There's no need to apologize,

but what seems to be the problem?

Right, yeah, um...

(clears throat) God,

this is so embarrassing.

Uh, don't be embarrassed.

What you want, an autograph, or a selfie?

I mean, he is famous, so, you know.

Oh, oh, no. It-it's not that at all.

Actually, um,

is this your card?

Oh sh*t, it is!

Hey, what the f*ck?

Hey, make sure I ain't got my sh*t taken.

Yo.

How'd you get that?

See, that's what I was afraid of.

Um, I noticed a woman paying for her coffee

with your card this morning.

What woman?

Wow.

You gotta be f*cking sh1tting me.

You mean that thick

BBW outside is a klepto?

Hell, nah.

Bro, that b*tch is coldblooded.

Yo, Mike, what are you doing?

What do you think I'm doing?

I'm calling the m*therf*cking police.

I don't give a f*ck how

thick and fine she is.

I don't like stealing. A crook is a crook.

sh*t, especially when it

comes to my-my clients.

That's some bullshit. Hell, no.

Look, I feel how you feel,

but just-just try to be

discreet about it, man.

I ain't trying to, you know,

cause a scene and embarrass her up in here.

Embarrass her? (Scoffs)

You're crazy, man.

f*ck her!

Don't give a f*ck about

that b*tch. She's stealing.

Pretty lady, I'm sorry,

excuse my French, but, um,

can you tell him to stop

bumping into people?

sh*t, watch where you going. Damn!

(upbeat music)

Good morning, ma'am.

Good morning.

May we have permission

to search your purse?

Yeah, sure.

I don't know why that's in

my purse. That's not mine.

How did that get there?

I'm sorry, ma'am. You're under arrest.

Ma'am, please stand up.

You're under arrest.

- Okay, so how did that

get in my purse?

Can somebody tell me

how that got in my purse?

- Please be quiet.

- Uh-uh.

Y'all gonna need to run these cameras.

I can't take this sh*t.

Y'all need to tell me

what the f*ck going on.

- You know what's going on.

- How did that

get in my purse?

Brandon Jones.

Thank you, sir.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

If you come down to the station

and answer a few more questions,

in case you decide to press charges...

Oh no, we will definitely be on our way

to the station, all right.

Thank you so much, officer.

Oh, you're quite welcome.

- Thank you.

- Gentlemen, have a great day.

You too.

It looks like there's someone else

we actually should be thanking.

Yeah, you got that right.

As a matter of fact, uh,

where's your manager?

I would like to talk to him,

give a good word for you.

Oh, yeah, just right around the corner.

He should be there.

Thank you.

(eerie music)

I'm beyond impressed that you were able

to catch what she was up to.

You know, I see you in here all the time,

but I never had the courage to

come up and introduce myself.

I said, are you new?

Uh, I come in here all the time,

and I never recall seeing you.

Uh, no, no, I'm not

new. I get that all the time.

(chuckles) I'm just here.

Hey, thank God for that.

(gentle music)

I listen to your show all the time.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Um, I actually wrote you an email

about the first time I

listened to it, the show.

Wow. I mean, thank

you so much for listening.

I haven't had the chance

to read your email yet,

but I promise you I will.

(barista giggles)

So, looks like somebody's

gonna be getting a good raise.

And you'll be thanking me later.

All right, bruh, you ready?

'Cause we gotta run some errands

before we head to the station.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, I just wanna

thank you again, all right?

I don't know what I would've

done without you here today.

You would've got robbed, n*gga.

That's what you would've done.

Look, thank you for

being a good person, okay?

Okay. Thank you so much, sweetheart.

God bless you, and goodnight.

Okay, man, let's go. Come

on, we gotta go to the station.

All right, all right, all right.

- Thank you again.

- Bless you. Okay, thank you.

Let's go.

(gentle music) (birds twittering)

[Brandon] As always,

nothing I do is possible

without all of you out there listening.

But today, I'd like to end

the show a little different.

I'd like to share a little something

from a friend that recently helped me out.

"Like a cool breeze on

a hot summer's night,

like a mother's kiss tucking you in

before she says goodnight,

like the newly-formed goosebumps

that now grow upon my skin,

I've been a fan of yours ever since

I heard your voice way back when.

When I never knew my father,

and when my mother died,

when you said the thing you said

that filled the hole I had inside.

I'm not sure if it was what

you said or how you said it,

but somehow, someway,

"to you My life feels indebted."

Now, I'll be the first to admit, folks,

I'm not sure exactly what I said,

but I'm damn sure glad I said it.

Just like today.

Paulette, if you're out there listening,

I don't know why you did what you did.

I'm just glad you did it.

So before I go,

I wanna send out a very,

very heartfelt thank-you

to my new friend and my number-one fan.

Until next time, my friend.

"Lead us all on the dance floor"

That's what he said to me, yeah

Don't worry about who's watching

Let the music set you free

Lead us all on the dance floor

Don't matter if it's clean or not

Just enjoy the moment

Like it's the last one you've got

(eerie music)

(gentle music)

(Paulette laughing)

(eerie music)

(eerie music)

(bright music)

(birds twittering)

Hi. How are you today?

How are you doing?

It's a terrific day.

Is there's something I can help you with?

You know what, actually,

I'm just here looking at around.

Well, take your time. Look around.

If there's something I can help you with,

just gimme a holler.

- Okay. Thank you so much.

(pensive music)

Oh, look at the flowers!

So cute!

[Brandon] I always thought yellow flowers

were your favorite.

Excuse me?

Uh, yellow flowers.

I remember your favorite color was yellow.

Or at least, at one point it was.

Do we know each other?

Well, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.

I thought you were someone I used to...

Shannon?

Oh! (Chuckles)

Shannon.

Okay, yeah. You, um, caught

me off guard for a second.

But apparently, me and

my cousin, we, uh, look alike.

Wait, Shannon is your cousin?

I know. Shocking, right?

Literally, for the last

week, all of our friends

have been getting us confused around here.

But I'm Alexandria,

Shannon's younger but

prettier cousin, I must say.

People call me Alex, though.

- Alex?

- Yes, Alex.

Nice-nice to meet you. I'm-I'm Brandon.

- Nice to meet you, Brandon.

- Wow.

It's shocking how much

you look just like her.

Is that a good thing?

I'd say that's a very good thing,

seeing as how I literally

just jumped out of my car

and started following you.

Oh, I'm sorry you had

to go through all that.

I'm hoping that's not

your normal behavior, is it?

No! No, no, no, it isn't.

Did you say back in town?

Yeah. We've only been

back for about a week now.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Do you know where I could find her?

Actually, she just got a gig

at the art gallery off 5th Avenue.

Thank you. And I'm-I'm-I'm

sorry about the confusion.

Listen, no problem.

Oh, but listen, you

did get one thing right.

Her favorite flowers are yellow.

You might wanna go get her some.

(chuckles) Thank you.

Don't be cheap while getting them.

[Brandon] I won't, I

won't. Thank you, Alex.

Yeah, no problem.

(horns honking) (traffic droning)

How's it going, ladies?

(door squeaking)

(gentle music)

For you.

Well, thank you.

And I'll be with you

ladies in a second, okay?

Thank you. (Brandon chuckling)

Now what are you laughing at?

I make a living by

saying what's on my mind,

and right now, I'm so afraid

of saying the wrong things

that I don't even know what to say.

You wouldn't have to worry

about saying the wrong things

if you actually said

what was on your heart.

So let's start with

hello.

Hi.

It's so good to see you.

Do you see me?

Really, like,

do you

see me?

Shannon, I've always...

Hey.

I see you.

Right here, right now,

I see you.

(stomach rumbling)

I see you're a little bit hungry too.

Yeah, I am a little

bit. I'm sorry about that.

It's all right. Wanna

go get something to eat?

Sure.

Flowers? Really?

(crickets chirping) (traffic droning)

This is nice.

Thank you.

You're quite welcome.

Kinda feels like old times, doesn't it?

I mean, we've never

had a problem with this part.

It was the other thing that was a problem.

(melancholy music)

Yeah, um...

You know, I'm sorry I hurt you.

That-that was never my intent.

You know, my plan has always been-

I know. To be rich and famous.

That's true.

But you know, I wanted

to share all that with you.

Well, you had all those women around

that wanted to be me, so...

But that's just it.

None of them were you.

Things probably would've

turned out different

if I took the time to say it back then.

Look, we all could've

done things a lot differently.

But personally,

I'm kinda mad at myself for

being a woman that I despised,

and that was a jealous woman.

And I put the blame all on you.

Look, Shannon, like you said,

we both could a did things differently.

You know, it's-it's no use

placing the blame on you,

or...

I'm not placing the blame on me.

I am just moving on.

Well, then there's still a chance.

I mean, you said moving on.

Like, you know, you're in

a process of packing and,

you know, possibly moving forward,

but you haven't moved on just yet.

You don't give up, do you?

Not when it comes to

something that I want.

(sighs) Yo, man.

It's so funny.

You always seem to want

something the most when it's gone.

Ah, but what I want isn't gone.

It's sitting right here,

right in front of me.

You don't know what you want, Brandon.

Shannon, I know what I don't want.

I don't wanna miss a

chance I may never get again.

Look, (sighs) this is nice,

and I really appreciate it, but honestly,

I just don't know if I want

to go down that road again.

You know, I'm focusing on my career.

I'm just now getting settled in.

Um, I honestly just need

to focus on one thing,

and right now, that's just myself.

Fair enough.

- Thank you.

- But just know

that I am not losing you again.

Well, I guess I'll have my people

call your people.

(scoffs) Oh, that's how you gonna do me?

That's exactly how I'ma do you.

All right. That little b*tch.

You're gonna have your

people call my people.

All right, well, you know what?

My people will be happily

waiting on that phone call.

Great. I'll keep 'em waiting.

(both laughing)

(traffic droning)

(birds twittering)

Yeah, no, no. Everything

sounds good to me, my man.

I just gotta run it by

Mike first, you know.

Yeah, nah, we're supposed to meet up

later tonight at Winston's.

Yeah, yeah, just let

me run it by him first,

and I'll hit you back with a

definite yes or no, all right?

But it's looking like a yes to me, my man.

All right, cool. I'll talk to you then.

All right.

Here you go, Mr. Jones.

A large Colombian hazelnut

with a shot of espresso,

steamed oat milk, with

fresh shaken cinnamon,

and six sugars on the side.

Perfect. Can I have six sugars please?

(melancholy music)

They're-they're right there, sir.

Uh, I can get you more if you like.

Yes, yes.

Here you go.

All right. Thank you.

- Here you go.

- Yeah. Just 5.95.

(terminal beeping)

(terminal chimes) Okay, here you go.

Thank you.

Right.

Do you need anything else, sir?

Yeah, I was hoping you could help me out.

I'm looking for one of your baristas

that actually helped me out the other day

when a female customer

tried to steal my wallet.

Uh, I just wanted to come

by and thank her again.

You know if she's

available or working today?

(eerie music)

Oh, I'm sorry.

I almost didn't recognize you.

And I don't even know how that's possible.

Beautiful

and brave.

Thank you.

I was hoping you would let

me repay you for your bravery

with, say,

dinner,

drinks.

I'll settle for coffee

in a corner if I have to.

Oh, you don't have to repay me.

Besides, I hate seeing crazy,

angry fans do bad things to good people.

Plus, I know you're a very busy person.

Oh, I'll make the

time for the right person.

So what do you say?

I say yes.

So can I have my hand back?

I'm sorry, what?

My hand. Can I have it back, please?

Oh, I'm-I'm so sorry.

No need to apologize.

Again, I just wanted to come

by and personally thank you

for your bravery the other day.

And I want to give you this

as a token of my appreciation.

No, no... No, no, no.

I won't take no for an answer.

You seriously don't owe me anything.

I would do the same

thing for you all over again.

Well, let's hope

there's no need for that.

But thank you again nonetheless. Take care.

[Manager] Paulette!

We have a cleanup in the women's bathroom.

It is rough out here, man.

You know what I'm saying?

This broad up here called

and got me fired from Uber Eats.

b*tch talking about I ate her fries.

(audience laughing)

I mean, she wasn't lying. I did.

But you could've called me back.

I would've circled around and, you know,

rolled the window down and

dipped in somebody else's bag

and gave her some of theirs.

(audience laughing)

Hey, man, as much as I hate to be wrong,

I must admit that you are right

about this podcast business.

It's definitely the new wave of the future.

You are right, bruh.

Hold up. I actually need

to be recording this moment.

Did Big Money Mike

just admit that I was

right about something?

No, n*gga, I said

that I hate to be wrong.

Nah, I actually think

you hate losing money

more than you hate being wrong.

sh*t, I'll drink to that.

Uh-huh.

Mm. Speaking of, you up for another round?

Hell nah, bruh.

- What?

- I gotta tap out, man.

I gotta be up early in

the morning for the girls,

and I still gotta drive home.

So how are you getting home?

Well, since you're leaving,

it looks like I'll be getting an Uber,

after I have my one other drink alone.

My guy.

Well, brother, I'm about to head out,

so you let me know when you get homesick.

Okay, Dad.

Look, I'm just looking

out for my investment, son.

Aw, that's so sweet. (Mike laughing)

Stop it!

- All right, brother.

- Man, get home safe.

Yeah, you already know.

(Brandon sighs)

What a beautiful sight to see.

A father and son still getting along.

Oh, that? Ah, he's-he's not my father.

More like a father figure,

you know. That's a long story.

Well, I have time.

Oh.

Well,

I'm Brandon.

It's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Brandon. I'm Tabitha.

Tabitha?

Hmm.

You up for game?

Yes, actually, I am.

But I have to warn you, I'm quite good.

It didn't seem like you

even put in a little slight pause.

[Paulette] You know what, with all that,

you rack, I break.

All right. You know, you're lucky.

I'm pretty drunk, or else

I would a had you rack,

'cause there's definitely

newbies on the table to rack.

You're gonna regret that.

I don't think so. I don't.

All right, well, then show

me what you got, Mr. Big Guy.

Huh. All right, for real.

A little sh*t talker too, huh?

(Paulette laughing)

(brooding music)

Mm. It looks like we could use a refill.

Uh, yeah, why not?

Right.

No worries. I will do the honors.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I can do it.

Thank you so much. I got it from here.

Thank you.

Oh!

Oh sh*t!

Oh Lord.

Is this table holding me

up, or am I holding it up?

I can't tell.

Hello, beautiful.

Can I just get two

refills of the same drink?

She did kick my at

pool, though. That sucked.

[Bartender] Is this all?

Yes, please. Thank you.

All right, hot stuff.

Thank you, ma'am.

Cheers. To new

beginnings and new friends.

To new beginnings and new friends.

Ah, that's strong.

You are such a baby.

I'm not. (Paulette laughing)

Wow, look at the time!

I didn't realize it'd gotten so late.

I guess it's true what they

say about good company.

You're right, you're right.

Yeah, maybe we should probably head out.

You know, they say nothing good happens

after, what, midnight?

Well, that depends.

(both laughing)

All right, um...

- Whoa!

- Yep.

No, I'm good. I just need a second.

- Are you stressing it?

- Just a second.

- Positive?

- Just a second.

- Yep.

- 100%?

- Mm-hmm. A-plus.

- Please tell me

that you're not driving.

No, no, no, no. I was

catching on planning an Uber.

Um, I just might need

a little help getting there.

Ah, don't be ridiculous. I

can drive you home on my way.

Ah, no, I don't, I don't

wanna be a burden.

No, seriously, trust me.

Besides, I would love the company,

and I'd feel much better

dropping you off at your house

than shoving you in some random Uber.

You know what happened

to that doctor the other day?

Oh, Doctor, um...

Dr. Julian Amusa.

Yeah, that's the guy.

Wow. You heard about that?

- Mm-hmm.

- Crazy.

You know, I was, I was,

like, the last person...

No, not the last.

- I think I'm okay.

- All right.

Oh, yeah. Nope, I'm good, I'm good.

I got muscles. You feel that?

- Yeah, you got me.

- Lean on me.

You might be a little

stronger than me right now.

But no, I was, like, I-I

literally had him on my show,

and I was the last person

to interview with him.

Your show. What is

it exactly that you do?

(chuckles) Don't laugh,

but I host, I host a podcast.

I'm a podcast host.

Holding back the laughs. A-a what?

I host a weekly podcast.

It's kinda like a radio

thing, but it's not.

Wait, you've never

heard of "Tell It Like It Is"?

I'm afraid not. No, sorry, I haven't.

Wow. You know, I'm actually impressed.

(traffic droning)

(gentle music) (crickets chirping)

(door latch clacking)

Tell me you want me.

I want you.

[Paulette] Tell me you want me.

[Brandon] Sure am. I really am.

You next.

Wait, wait, wait! Let

me take a pre-sex selfie.

I didn't know that was a thing.

I'm gonna teach you a lot of things.

(camera shutter clicks) (Paulette giggles)

You are so f*cking sexy.

(eerie music)

Okay, you got it.

Hey there, Nina.

Look at what Mommy brought home.

(dog barking) This fine-a*s dessert.

Whatever, you stupid-a*s dog.

I wasn't gonna share anyways.

(dog barks) Okay.

And just go up for me.

All right.

(Paulette chuckles)

Wow.

Pre-sex selfie.

Why don't we have that? Cool?

(Paulette giggles)

(camera shutter clicks)

My turn!

Sorry, baby.

(camera shutter clicks)

(camera shutter clicks)

(Paulette giggles)

(camera shutter clicking)

(ominous music)

(brooding music)

(crickets chirping)

(birds twittering)

(traffic droning)

(Brandon grunts)

What the f*ck?

PJ?

Who the f*ck is PJ?

Ah, sh*t.

No f*cking way!

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

(ominous music)

(car alert chiming)

(people chattering)

(traffic droning) (birds twittering)

Brandon, my man.

Hey, that was another

good show, my brother.

And I was glad that you didn't go in

as hard as I thought you would off top.

- Oh, I went in.

- Mm-hmm.

But like you said, you know,

she was a really good guest,

and she made her point of view well.

And she backed it up with facts.

You know, I wouldn't be against

having her on the show again.

You know, I was thinking the same thing.

And it felt like you two were

just scratching the surface,

then boom, the interview was over.

Now, you know, I think

we set the bar really high,

and we need to keep

pulling in that level of guest

on a consistent basis. (Telephone ringing)

And I'm definitely gonna

send this to Raya's people.

Any word on that?

Not yet, but in good

time, my man, in good time.

All right, all right.

Brandon, you have a

phone call from a Paulette.

- A who?

- Paulette.

Uh-uh. Tell her I'm not here.

- Okay.

- Paulette? Who's Paulette?

(ominous music)

Hmm.

I'm sorry, young lady,

you just missed him.

Dang it. Are you sure you

still in the building somewhere?

Yes, I was speaking to

him before he drove off.

Is there a message you

would like me to deliver?

Oh, no, no. That won't be necessary.

Wait a minute. I'm sure he

doesn't remember my name.

Why don't you tell him

his number-one fan called?

He'll know exactly who

you're talking about.

Yes. I will give him that message.

Okay, bye.

Is that something I need to worry about?

Nope.

Everything is good, my man.

If you can look me dead in my face

and tell me it ain't

nothing to worry about,

then it ain't nothing to worry about.

It's nothing to worry about.

Well, damn, n*gga,

that's all you have to say

in the first place.

sh*t. It ain't nothing to worry about.

Fine.

It ain't nothing to worry about.

(sighs) f*ck.

(brooding music)

(birds twittering)

Well, there you are, safe and sound.

I was beginning to worry about you

when I didn't see you this morning.

You are such a gentleman.

Now, why aren't you answering my calls?

I'm sorry?

Well, I called you earlier this morning,

and they said you weren't

here, but clearly you are here.

Did you tell them to tell

me that you weren't here?

(Brandon chuckles)

Uh, nah, nah, technically,

I did leave the office,

but not the building.

You know, I had to go over the Marketing

and sh**t some promo stuff, you know.

So I can see why they

told you I wasn't there.

(giggles) I figured as much. No biggie.

I would've forgave you if

you didn't wanna talk to me

in the morning at work anyways.

Okay.

So what's on the agenda this evening?

Unfortunately, I have a

lotta work to catch up on,

so that's about all I'm gonna be doing.

Hmm. Well, that doesn't

sound like much fun.

Maybe if we put our heads together,

we can figure out something to do.

Look, I don't mean to be rude.

You know, I think

you're a very nice person,

but I'm trying to keep

this professional, all right?

And like I said, I have a

lot of work I need to do.

So if you don't mind...

Okay. Yeah, no, totally.

But it might be really

difficult to get work done

without these. (Giggles)

God, gimme my f*cking keys!

Are you serious right now, woman?

(Paulette squealing) Come on, come on.

Stop, stop! Stop it!

You're causing a scene.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, I don't need to get the

police out here, now, do I?

Ma'am, are you okay?

Is this guy bothering you?

It-it's not what it looks

like, guys, all right?

Trust me, we're fine.

- Hey, I didn't ask you

a g*dd*mn thing.

I'm sure the lady can speak for herself.

Yeah, that's right,

you little piece of sh*t.

Now, come here, honey. Are you in danger?

I told you she was fine!

And I told you, shut the f*ck up.

And you better back the

f*ck up before you get sat down!

And who the hell are you calling ma'am?

Do I look like a f*cking ma'am to you? Huh?

Oh, um, I'm sorry, ma'am, I just...

I mean lady.

We just, we-we thought that-

You-you-you just thought what?

That we some typical n*gg*s,

so we must be doing

some typical n*gga sh*t, huh?

You and Karen better back the

f*ck up away from me and mine!

I'm gonna beat your a*s in

the head till I see white meat!

Well, fine, you know, I

won't make the mistake

of helping you people anymore.

- "You people"?

Did I hear that right? "You people"?

That's right, b*tch! You'd better run!

You don't want g*dd*mn smoke!

If I ever catch either one of

you outside, I swear to God!

(Paulette giggling)

"I swear to God!"

What? I'm just having a

little bit of fun with them.

Well, who in the f*ck are you?

Wait, what?

Man, f*ck them. They were

gonna call the cops on us.

I mean, truth be told, they

were gonna call the cops on you,

so maybe instead of all this attitude,

a thank-you is in order.

(brooding music)

- Thank you.

Goodbye now.

Jesus!

Can you get your stuff?

Get your sh*t, please.

You're right. Maybe today

isn't a good day to hang out.

I'll catch you on the flip.

In the still of the

night, when it's dark

We dance the sky

In the still of the

night, when it's dark

We dance the sky

(crickets chirping)

(Brandon sighs)

Ah. Whew.

Ah.

This b*tch. Oh f*ck! (Laid-back music)

Psst!

Long night?

Look, I had a long day,

and I am way too tired

to get into this with you right now.

You sure about that?

Shannon?

Shannon, sh*t, I thought you...

I thought you were Mike

trying to f*ck with me again.

I mean, I am trying to

f*ck with you-

- Whoa!

- Again.

(Shannon laughing)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's, uh, save that for inside, shall we?

Why you acting so shy now?

Oh no, I'm not shy. I'll show you.

(ominous music)

f*cking b*tch.

(Paulette sobbing)

(voices whispering)

(gentle music)

(door handle rattling)

(brooding music) (Paulette

hammering on door)

Whoa. Hey.

All right.

All right, all right, all

right, all right! f*ck!

Where the f*ck is that

b*tch? Where is that hoe?

I f*cking know you're in here!

Where the f*ck are you, b*tch? Huh?

You trying to take what's me and mine?

You trying to take mines?

I know you're in here, b*tch! Where you at?

I'll put your f*cking head on a spike!

Come out here, b*tch!

Where you at, huh? Where you at?

Where the f*ck are you?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

f*cking b*tch! You think I'm playing?

(somber music)

I'm-I'm so sorry.

I- I-I don't know what I

was thinking coming here.

I...

Paulette, what the hell

are you even doing here?

How-how do you know where I live?

I know. I-I know.

I- I never meant to do

anything to hurt you or

make you afraid of me.

I, uh, I just thought that

maybe you needed my help.

But I can see now that I'm totally wrong.

I just sometimes get

things really confused.

I- I just don't want you to hate me or...

Okay, yeah, no, I-I, uh...

I can see I misread this situation.

I'm so sorry for invading

your personal space.

I- I'm really not this person, Brandon.

I- I, uh, I hope that you

can find a way to forgive me.

Maybe, maybe I can make it

up to you over dinner sometime?

I'll call you.

- Okay?

- Okay, yeah. (Chuckles)

Okay, yeah.

I- I-I'm-I'm-I'm so...

I'm-I'm sorry.

Okay.

(door latch clacks)

(traffic droning) (birds twittering)

Do you, um, you got a second, Big Mike?

Yes, sir.

Oh, hey, before you say anything, um,

are you ready for today?

Because this guest is

gonna bring her A game,

and we need you to make

sure you bring yours as well.

Yeah, yeah, look, I just,

I just need to holler at you

about our girl from the

coffee shop downstairs, man.

You won't believe the crazy sh*t

that happened to me last night, Mike.

Oh sh*t!

[Brandon] Yo, you even

listening to me right now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This n*gga! Hell!

Never mind then!

(cellphone buzzing)

Who is this?

Hello?

Good morning, handsome.

(brooding music)

Paulette.

Please don't hang up.

I just called to apologize for last night.

That is exactly why I don't drink.

Unfortunately, you saw a side of me

that doesn't come out very often,

a side of me that I'm not at all proud of.

Like you always say on your show,

we're all just works in progress.

And I f*cked up, big time, and I know that.

I just want you to know how sorry I am,

and that you don't ever have to worry

about something like that happening again.

(Brandon sighs)

Apology accepted.

And thank you.

I know that wasn't easy to say,

but I appreciate you

taking the time to say it.

Thank you for understanding.

Well, I won't keep you any longer.

I am sure you have a lot of work to do.

I was just wondering, uh,

what time are you coming over for dinner?

What?

Well, now you have to

let me make it up to you,

and I figured, after all of

the fun we had last time,

I thought maybe we should

eat first to get our stamina up.

Wait, what are you talking about?

(cellphone chimes)

[Paulette] After such an amazing evening,

I just want you to know

that I don't wanna lose you

to anything

or anyone.

What have I done? When did this happen?

How am I gonna explain

this sh*t to Shannon?

I think this sh*t is setup.

Does she already know?

f*ck! And regardless, I need that phone.

These photos, I don't

remember doing any of this.

This sh*t is a setup.

How the f*ck did she even get this number?

I f*cked up. And

regardless, I need that phone.

I don't remember doing any of this.

These photos have got to disappear.

Um...

(stammers) I just, I'm not

gonna be able to make it tonight.

Oh.

What a shame.

All right, but let's-let's-let's try

to set something up for later in the week.

No, I'll come to you.

Now, that's the best

news I've heard all day.

Don't keep me waiting too long.

Trust me, I won't.

All right, my love.

I'm sure I'll be hearing

from you very soon.

See you soon.

(brooding music)

n*gga. Have you heard

anything I've been saying to you?

What?

Look, just go home and get ready, okay?

I made reservations

for us at 7:00 PM tonight.

What are you talking about, Mike?

You kidding me?

n*gga, please get your head in the game.

I'm talking about you and

Raya tonight at 7:00 PM.

Oh, wait, what? I mean,

when did this happen?

n*gga, damn all that. Look, listen.

- You hear that?

- Yeah.

That's the opportunity

knocking on the door. All right?

Now, are you ready to answer or not?

Oh, most definitely! Man, come on.

Brother, let's play, boy.

Right.

I sure as hell hope so.

sh*t.

I sure hope so.

Hmm!

Hey, it's hell a good.

Hmm.

(traffic droning) (birds twittering)

Hey. How are you?

Nah, I'm good, I'm good. Can't complain.

(ominous music) (camera shutter clicking)

Damn! Uh, lemme-lemme

call you back right quick.

Nah, I won't. I promise.

(brooding music)

f*ck!

What the f*ck?

(traffic droning)

(laid-back music)

(people laughing)

You are a mess. You are a hot mess.

Oh, not a hot mess.

- No, a hot mess.

- Come on!

Like Hotlanta hot.

No. Oh no.

(Raya laughing)

Not that hot. Definitely not.

Well, I can say,

thinking of all of the...

Hi!

Didn't mean to disturb you.

Good to see you.

- Welcome back to the Mousada.

- Robaire!

I appreciate that.

This is the maitre d' of the

Mousada. This is Robaire.

This is my maybe

new friend, Brandon.

I'll take it.

Well, young man, pleasure to meet you.

- Thank you, sir.

- Now, if there's anything

I can do to make your evening

that much more pleasurable,

please don't hesitate to ask.

You know I always do.

(Robaire laughing)

Oh!

Go on.

[Robaire] You good

folks have a great night.

Thank you. (Laughs)

Celebrity treatment, huh?

Well, you know, this is my place.

It's what I do, you know?

(laughs) Now tell me. You were telling me.

Go ahead. Please tell me the story.

- Okay, so.

- Yeah, so,

that's when I was like, "Wait, hold up.

If I'm gonna get in trouble anyway,

then let me see how far I

can really push the line."

Right? 'Cause why not?

I love it!

- I love it! (Laughs)

- Yeah. Oh, look.

I'm an all-a*s or nothing kinda guy?

(Raya laughing)

Wait. Huh, wait a second.

That-that didn't sound right.

Nah, nah. You knew what

the hell I was trying to say.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not a*s-suming anything

when it comes to you.

Oh, that's f*cked

up. That's a little low.

- That's f*cked up.

- No, it's not!

You left a wide opening there.

I mean, it was such an open,

I could've driven a-a

truck through that opening.

No, I guess I deserved that one.

- Okay, fine.

- You did, you did.

- Your a*s.

- g*dd*mn.

God, man, that one.

(Raya clears throat)

(chair scraping)

(ominous music)

- Hmm.

This is the work you had to do?

I'm not impressed.

I didn't know you had

a thing for older women.

Paulette, this is not

what you think it is.

Matter of fact, what the

hell are you even doing here?

It's not what I think it is?

Then what should I think?

Is this, is this your mom,

your aunt, your grandmother?

Or is this just another

groupie you're gonna f*ck

before you dip out on her?

All righty, you know what?

I think I've heard just enough.

Clearly the two of you need to talk.

So don't worry, I can go.

- No, no, no, no.

- No, no, no, no.

- I can go. No, I can go.

- I'm so sorry.

I don't wanna be a bother.

- Please, please don't go.

No, no, no, no, you're

not. (Paulette laughing)

Don't have your new shoes

get your old a*s whupped.

Paulette.

(Paulette laughing)

It's not the time nor the

g*dd*mn place for this,

- and trust me on that.

- Trust you?

How the f*ck am I supposed to

trust you when you're sneaking

behind my back with this washed-up b*tch?

Washed up? Brandon, you

better get your girl before I do!

Paulette, you know good

and g*dd*mn well there is no us.

There has never been an us,

and there will never be an us.

- Don't f*cking touch me!

- Does she f*ck you

better than I do?

Does she lick lick your ba*ls

and tickle them the way that you like?

Oh my god! Okay, now

I've heard more than enough.

You know what, I need to go,

because if I stay around here,

I'm gonna end up catching

a case over this cray-cray

little slip of a child.

Just give me a moment.

Bro, no, you need a

moment? Take the moment!

What is you were getting?

What are you doing?

Carry her narrow a*s out!

What you need to do is buy you a butt!

Don't let my zip code fool you!

- I am so sorry.

- What the f*ck?

- Robaire!

- I am so sorry.

I just heard the commotion.

No, you just heard the commotion?

God, you are late to the party,

- as usual.

- Please, please.

Does celebrity count for nothing anymore?

You think I'm gonna keep

bringing my celebrity friends here,

and this is the kind of treatment I got?

f*ck that!

Please, let me make it up to you.

What can I do to make it up?

You can kiss my a*s.

(dramatic music)

You should be thanking me.

I was just trying to

save from that old hag,

who clearly just wanted to f*ck.

I don't understand.

What the hell is wrong with you, woman?

Why are you, why are you trying to ruin

everything I worked so hard in my life for?

Come on, baby. It was just a joke, babe.

f*ck them if they can't take a joke.

It's okay, it's you and I

together right now.

- I can't f*cking believe you.

- What?

- Come on. Get in this car.

[Paulette] Okay, let's

talk about it, together.

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna talk about it.

I'm gonna get in on the

side, all right? Trust me.

She's gonna tell you where her home is,

and wherever it is, please take her

the f*cking long way.

- Please don't leave me!

No, no, no! I just don't wanna be alone!

I'll give you anything.

- Can you please just go!

I'll suck your d*ck.

I'll give you anything.

Brandon, please! Please don't leave me!

f*ck!

(dramatic music)

Okay.

Sir, as you can see,

your dinner date has left.

I'd appreciate if you do the same thing.

Really?

Now.

(scoffs) Wow.

Well...

Okay, okay, okay.

(pensive music)

(cellphone buzzing)

Hello?

[Paulette] I'm so sorry things

got outta hand this evening.

But I'm only human, baby,

and sometimes we actually

hurt the things we love the most.

Paulette, I don't love you,

which would make it very

easy for me to hurt you right now.

[Paulette] And these pics make it easy

for me to hurt you. (Cellphone chiming)

This is so not what I wanted for us.

We were meant for so much more.

So come and get what I have for you.

Okay.

f*ck!

(Brandon grunts)

f*ck it.

(brooding music) (crickets chirping)

(car door opens)

(car door shuts)

(door squeaking)

Hello?

Hello?

(stairs creaking)

Damn.

[Paulette] Do you

remember me now, Brandon?

[Brandon] Not exactly how I remember.

Please, make yourself comfortable

while I fix you the drink.

And I, uh, left something

for you on the table.

(foreboding music)

Well, are you just

gonna stare at it all night,

or are you gonna open it?

(chuckles) Thank you.

I thought of you

immediately when I saw it.

Please, open it.

But if you don't like it-

You didn't have to.

Well, maybe this is more your style.

Um, yeah, I...

I don't...

Um...

Yeah, I don't, I don't

know what to say, Paulette.

I can't accept all this.

Yes, you can, and you will,

because I know you don't

wanna hurt my feelings,

and I refuse to take it back.

All right.

Oh, that's good.

Would you be so kind?

But of course.

Same drink?

Yeah, that was delicious.

Hmm.

Um, where's your bathroom?

Just down the hall, to your left.

Okay. Thank you.

(ominous music)

Here we are. Pictures, pictures, pictures.

There we go. No, um, that one.

Delete, delete, delete, delete.

Perfect.

Rohypnol?

You'd be surprised on how easy it is

to get drugs these days.

The dealers, they're not

even trying to hide it anymore.

They're putting it

right there on the label.

Flunitrazepam, or Rohypnol.

Roofies on the street.

And it's the perfect date r*pe drug.

And why? Because it's

odorless, it's tasteless.

It dissolves in seconds.

Get a drink at the bar, dose it.

By the time you get to the

dance floor, it's dissolved.

It's undetectable.

I'd tell my daughter and

I tell my son, if I had one,

do not accept a drink from

someone you don't know.

b*tch!

(door squeaking)

(ominous music)

So you mind telling me

just what the f*ck this is?

I mean, I already know what

it is, but why do you have it?

You know, um, it's really starting

to make more sense to me now.

Don't get the wrong idea, okay?

I would never do anything to hurt you.

I love you too much to ever risk

ruining what we have together.

What we,

we have together.

No. (Scoffs) No.

Okay, I can see what this looks like,

but it's not what you're thinking.

You know, those pills,

those are my girlfriend's pills.

She left them the other day.

I don't even know what it is.

I've never taken that.

You know, somehow I find that

really f*cking hard to believe.

You know, Paulette, I

suggest, no, no, no, no, no,

I insist that you steer clear

and stay the f*ck away from me.

So you think I'm just gonna allow you

to f*ck me and then throw me away?

I've never f*cking touched you!

You know, you got some real issues, lady.

Jesus!

Let me tell you one last thing, though.

You come near me

again and I'll call the cops

and have your little crazy a*s arrested.

I asked you nicely. Now

I'm f*cking warning you.

Stay

the f*ck

away from me.

Got it?

(door shuts)

(voices whispering)

(Paulette screaming)

(glass shattering)

(Paulette wailing)

(Paulette sobbing)

Momma.

Mommy!

(Paulette sobbing)

(ominous music)

(Paulette wheezing)

(Paulette laughing)

I'm going to remove every

single thing

from your life, Brandon,

until there's nothing left but me.

Until you love me.

Until you see me.

And I don't care if it

makes your life a living hell.

(Paulette laughing)

Brandon and Paulette

Oh, Brandon and Paulette

Brandon and Paulette,

Brandon and Paulette

(laid-back music)

(birds twittering)

Oh, I just wanna stay with you forever

Oh, I just wanna lay in waiting for you

It'll never happen

Oh, I just wanna

know that we're together

Oh, I just wanna

(ominous music) (Alex gasps)

(glass shatters)

(Paulette chuckling)

Now all that pain you sing about is gone.

(suspenseful music)

You're free, pretty bird. (Laughs)

Free at last.

(brooding music)

You had the most magnificent

voice that the world ever knew.

(ominous music)

Thank you for sharing it with me.

But I don't like sharing.

(somber music)

I don't think I could've

made myself any clearer.

You had one job,

one job,

not to f*ck this up.

And what did you do?

Huh?

Look, man, it wasn't my-

Brandon!

You need to learn how to

take some responsibility, okay?

It's all your fault!

Nah, you know, maybe

it's my fault for thinking

that you was able to

take care of this sh*t,

do this sh*t on your own.

I should've just got out

this entertainment business

when I had a chance to

and put all of my money

into some real estate,

and now it's all f*cked up.

I'm sorry I let you down, bruh.

n*gga!

It's not just me!

Us, n*gga!

You let us down!

f*ck!

Now I gotta figure out

how to get us out of this sh*t.

(telephone ringing)

Hello?

Whoa, yo, yo, yo, slow

down, slow down. What, what?

Hello?

Whoa. What?

We're on our way. Yeah, yeah.

(brooding music)

(traffic droning)

(birds twittering)

(people chattering)

Now, you've just moved back to the city.

Is there anyone that you can think of

that could've possibly done this to her?

[Shannon] No, I don't. (Sobs)

So you found her, right?

Yeah, it's ugly, but... You called Brandon

as soon as you...

[Brandon] Yeah, I came over right after.

Do you know of anyone

that may have done this?

[Brandon] That's

enough for today, all right?

I'll walk y'all down.

[Detective] Oh.

Oh.

(Shannon sighs)

You okay?

- Hey, guys.

- Yeah?

I think I know who did this.

Yeah?

That chick at the coffee shop.

You mean, uh, the barista?

You serious?

Yeah, man.

(people chattering)

I gotta go. All right, see you.

- Who is that?

- Yeah, love you too.

I don't know, she goes

by... What do you mean

you don't know?

I don't know her like that, Shannon.

She goes by Paulette or

Tabitha. I don't f*cking know.

[Shannon] Then why would she do this?

Sorry about Alex, babe.

(Shannon sobbing)

(seagulls squawking)

(upbeat music)

You better stop that before

whoever she is gets back.

Excuse me?

I don't want nobody mad at me

because we are f*cking each other.

Is that what we're doing, huh?

Well, I can only speak for myself.

Excuse me.

Can I get another double,

and, uh, whatever she's having?

Cuba Libre, please.

You ain't gotta worry about none of that.

Grown-a*s man, and I'm

here alone, so you know.

Cheers to that.

Look

at

You.

(both laughing)

Has anybody told you

that you are gorgeous?

Maybe just once or twice.

- Once or twice, huh?

- Just once or twice.

Speaking of twice, I

will get another round.

Okay.

Yeah.

So you want to try to get me faded, huh?

Maybe, just maybe. I

heard it's pretty fun that way.

I heard so too.

On that note, one second.

Okay.

(ominous music)

One drink to you.

Thank you.

- And cheers.

- Cheers. Cheers to life.

Cheers.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm. Oh, that's strong right there.

You're a strong man. You can take it.

Oh, sure.

Strong.

Strong in the bedroom too.

Prove it.

Let's go.

(traffic droning)

(pensive music) (crickets chirping)

- Mm-hmm.

- Right.

It's just this way.

- Okay.

- One, two.

- Oh!

- One more step.

You can do it.

Oh, man.

All right. You're ravishing.

All right, beautiful.

All right, sexy man.

You ready for the time of your...

Oh yeah.

Just one second.

- Okay.

- You got this.

Two more steps.

And one, two.

Oh!

Oh yeah. (Brooding music)

Oh.

You ready to have some fun?

[Mike] Fun.

(both laughing)

All right.

(brooding music)

(crickets chirping)

(cellphone chimes)

(Paulette laughing)

Damn.

(somber music) Someone f*cked him up bad.

Where's the fun when all

you men are so predictable?

There's no one left to

protect you, Brandon.

And I won't make that same mistake twice

with that b*tch of yours.

If you don't get your sh*t together,

I will peel

her skin off

and make you watch

all of the blood leave her body,

(chuckles) just like that.

So get your sh*t together

and come here

now.

I'm waiting.

(keypad beeping)

(line ringing)

[Brian] Hello?

What's good with you, my dude?

[Brian] Man, I can't call it.

It's good to hear your voice, man.

I mean, I hear you on

the podcast all the time,

but you know, it's good

to actually talk to you.

How is everything?

I've been better.

[Brian] What's going on?

(sighs) Look, um, I know a lot of this

isn't gonna make sense

to you right now, man, but

I need you to just listen.

[Brian] All right. I'm listening.

Look, uh,

I know I haven't been the brother

you always wanted me to be, and you know,

I fell short of the brother

that I should've been.

I'm sorry for that.

But I could really use

your help right now, man.

[Brian] Whatever you need, man.

You know I'm here for you, bro.

Just tell me what the f*ck is going on.

Man, I don't wanna get

anybody else involved in my sh*t,

but I need you to just do me this favor.

If you don't hear from

me tomorrow, man, (sighs)

I need you to promise me you'll

take care of Shannon for me.

She's the one thing I have a

second chance at getting right,

and I'm-I'm so close to

even f*cking that up, bro.

[Brian] Wait a minute,

Time out. Just slow down, B.

Just breathe, man. Talk to me.

I can't help you unless I

know what's going on, man.

I just have something to do, man.

And I have to do this by myself.

Can you just promise

me you'll take care of her?

[Brian] Well, if you love her

as much as you say you do,

then maybe you shouldn't be doing

whatever it is you're about to do.

I'm doing this because

of how much I love her, bro.

I- I cannot lose Shannon again.

All right? Could you

please just do me this favor?

[Brian] Consider it done.

(sighs) Thank you, man. Thank you.

Could you also do me one more thing?

[Brian] And what is that?

Would you be a guest on my show?

[Brian] You want me to

be a guest on your show?

Uh, I've always wanted

to be a guest on the show.

You know me. I'd get on the pod anytime.

(chuckles) But I just, uh...

Are-are you sure?

Absolutely.

It's something that I should've

done a long time ago, man.

[Brian] I don't know

what you got going on

right now, man, but

just know that I'm here

if you ever need me.

Thank you, bro.

[Brian] Hey, B.

I love you, man.

I love you too, man.

My god, you are beautiful.

Mm.

I'm so sorry I got you

involved in any of this.

I just...

I keep hoping that somehow

my words will slip in and you'll hear me.

For some damn reason,

I'm too afraid to tell

you how much I love you.

(Brandon scoffs)

I just did it.

How come it can't always be that easy?

But then, nothing in my

life has ever come easy.

But I promise you this, baby,

you're the one thing

that I refuse to let go of.

Call me stubborn,

but I can't bear the thought of losing you.

Not again.

(traffic droning)

(brooding music)

(crickets chirping)

(dramatic music)

(Shannon grunts)

(crickets chirping)

(engine rumbling)

(foreboding music)

(door creaking)

(ominous music)

(suspenseful music)

(Paulette grunts) Ah!

(Paulette grunts) (flesh squelches)

(glass shattering)

(Paulette laughing)

You know what's funny?

I used to look up to

you, you piece of sh*t,

but you never really saw me.

No matter what I did,

you never really saw me.

Well, take a good f*cking look, Brandon.

Here I am.

This is the one that you helped make.

This

is the new me.

(pensive music)

You know, in the end,

I actually feel a little bit sorry for you.

It's not really your fault.

No, no, you're just,

you're just a pathetic man.

So by those odds,

were you ever gonna get

any of this sh*t figured out?

The sad thing is,

is I still love you.

You see?

You see?

As I always have.

I was willing to give you everything.

And I asked, I asked nothing in return.

Now, that,

that's unconditional love.

And that doesn't exist in

a world like this anymore

because people like you,

you suck the soul out of

people like us willing to give it.

And it-it's not fair because

I-I just asked be loved.

That's all I wanted. That's

all I wanted from you.

That's all I wanted, 'cause

it didn't have to be like this!

No, no, it didn't have

to be like this at all,

if you would've just let me loved you

the way that you deserved to be loved.

(Paulette laughing)

But then, but then, but then

I wouldn't have found the new me.

No.

And the new me doesn't need you.

Uh-uh.

The new me still loves you,

but I'm free.

So I'm gonna do one last favor,

out of the kindness of my heart,

as your number-one fan.

(ominous music)

(Shannon grunting)

(blow thuds) (Paulette screams)

(Shannon grunting)

(dramatic music)

(Paulette screams)

(both grunting)

(blow thuds) (Shannon groans)

(Paulette screams)

(punch thuds)

(blow thuds) (Paulette gasping)

(Brandon groaning)

(Paulette screams)

(Shannon grunting)

(Brandon groaning)

(women grunting)

(Paulette screaming)

(body thuds) (glass shattering)

Are you okay? (Shannon sobbing)

Are you okay?

This is awful.

Ah! Ow, ow!

Watch this side, watch this side! Ah!

Come on, lets you out of here.

(Brandon grunts)

(pensive music)

All right, everybody,

I wanna do a little

something different today.

I wanna introduce you guys to someone

who makes me a better man,

someone I shoulda introduced

you guys to a long time ago,

my brother Brian.

Welcome to the show, bro.

Hey, it is good to be here, man.

It is good to be here on

the pod with you, man.

I'm glad I could finally

make it. It's been a while, bro.

Ah, yes, sir.

I talk into it like this, right?

Yeah, yeah. Just like that.

You ain't gotta be so close,

but we good. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, back up? Okay, we good, we good.

Good, man. You ready

for a great show, bro?

Yeah, I'm ready for a

wonderful show, man.

It's nice around here.

[Brandon] Yes.

Time to tell it like it is.

Well, I hate to interrupt you boys,

but I must say it has

been a long time coming,

and I cannot be more

excited about today's show.

So how about we get this started?

So the first question is,

why the hell did it take

you so long to do this?

Life, you know. Just differences.

And, you know, overcoming 'em.

Getting over those-those

humps, you know. Growing.

But we're here now, and

it's time for a good show.

Yeah, nah, I feel that. I feel that, man.

That's just, uh, that's the

way it shakes down sometimes

with-with being brothers, man.

You have highs, you have lows,

but at the end of the day, we family, man.

Nothing's gonna come between that.

- Sounds raw.

- Yeah.

All right, so I got a whole

list of things to talk about.

You know what I mean?

Uh, uh, uh...

Damn, where my phone at? It's gone.

Come on! (Brian laughing)

You remember that time Dad

beat my a*s for skipping school?

- For skipping school?

- Skipping, man.

I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

(somber music)

(crickets chirping)

(somber music continues)