Hi. Come on in.
Come in.
My name is Werner Herzog.
I'm a director.
I've directed
and written and produced
some 40
or maybe 50 films.
Well, we do have yucca,
very Peruvian-- or, actually,
in all Amazonia
you have those roots.
You cook them, but it really
has to be perfect,
because they are--
they're a little
bit boring, and...
you don't overcook them.
Lena, do we have a pot?
I mean,
a real large one for the yucca?
If it's not so large,
I could actually cut it.
- Yeah, you have to cut them.
- In half, yeah.
You have to cut them
at least in half.
- Yeah, okay.
- And then there's another pot over there.
It doesn't need much,
it just needs some salt.
The only thing is, you have
to cook it the right amount.
Um, it's slightly toxic
and you, uh, can taste it.
It has a slightly
bitter taste.
[Telephone ringing]
If you cook it
the right amount,
you know,
it's not toxic anymore.
Who is it?
Lena:
It's-- it's Laurie
from Ricky Jay's office.
Okay, I'm coming.
Hello, Laurie.
Hello.
Oh, that's great.
Very good, very good.
So he's coming.
We're gonna be 14.
Children, Lotte Eisner here,
my mentor.
The guys here
in the early phase of "Aguirre."
And that is actually
from "Fitzcarraldo."
[Clears throat]
They're very serious arrows.
So they're huge.
And that is actually
still some poison in it.
It's-- it's not--
not a very dangerous--
it's not like curare.
It's actually
an anticoagulant.
So when you are hit,
you do not stop
bleeding easily.
So...
And I should show you the diaries I wrote at that time.
It's very, very strange,
because I really, really
subminiaturized it.
Yes, I do
have a reputation
of being a filmmaker
getting himself
into dangerous situations
and into adventures
and into trouble.
I believe that
this kind of labeling
started because
I've done "adventurous,"
quote unquote, films.
Among them
"Aguirre, the Wrath of God."
Wild story
about Spanish conquistadors
in search of El Dorado.
[Speaking German]
"Fitzcarraldo."
A man who tries to pull
a boat over a mountain.
And we actually pulled
a huge steamship
over a real mountain.
"My Best Fiend."
[Speaking German]
Which is a crazy
relationship
between Klaus Kinski
and me.
Very productive, though,
but we plotted
to m*rder each other
at the same time.
And I also did a film,
"La Soufrière,"
which was shot on a volcano
that was just about
to explode.
That is my reputation,
but it was never
my intention
to get into any trouble
or run excessive risks.
John: Werner,
I notice these pictures on the wall of Loch Ness.
Herzog: Yeah, it's my next project,
a documentary.
It's gonna be called
"The Enigma of Loch Ness,"
and, of course, here are
some of the famous photos
of Nessie the monster.
And of course you can tell
that it's made up here.
This in particular.
I'll show it to you.
Look, watch the water.
The water is...
cannot be miniaturized.
The movement of water.
See, it's probably
only toy size,
and that's very funny.
So it shows very clearly
that this whole thing
about Loch Ness
is more or less
a figment of our fantasy,
and I like that much more
than the real monster.
So what's going on
in our collective dreams
and collective nightmares.
I keep asking myself
why is it
that so many Americans
were abducted by aliens?
Not only met aliens,
but they abducted them.
And when you take
a close look,
the vast majority of them
are severely
overweight women.
And they were not
only abducted,
but also
g*ng-r*ped by aliens,
and I keep myself asking
that question.
Why? Why have
we never seen any women
being abducted
from Ethiopia?
Or why have we never
seen anyone
being abducted
from Bangladesh or Nigeria?
So that is probably the focus
of what I'm gonna do.
I've always been interested
in the difference
between fact and truth.
And I've always sensed
that there's something
like a deeper truth.
It exists in cinema,
and I would call it the ecstatic truth.
It is somehow the same thing
like in poetry.
When you read a great poem,
you instantly
would know in your--
in your heart,
in your guts
that there's a deep,
inherent truth,
an ecstatic truth.
So there's an ecstasy
in those who have been abducted
and it has to do
with our collective desires,
our collective dreams,
and it's a very strange
crossover.
I can't figure out yet,
but I'm trying to find
the real wackos out there.
Werner, Zak is here.
Come on in.
- Hello.
- Hi, Lena.
Werner:
Hello, Zak.
You brought Sophie.
Yes, we did.
We did.
What's with
the camera crew, huh?
Werner:
Hello, hello, hello.
What's with
the camera crew?
Lena:
I think Werner should explain.
- Zak: Okay. Hi.
- Lena: Hello.
Hi, Michelle.
Sophie. Mwah.
- Hello.
- Can you say hello?
- Zak: Can I just put this over here?
- Do you remember her?
Oh, yeah, please.
Put it here.
Just--
is this gonna be filming
all the time?
It's a little film
they are doing.
Don't worry about them.
I got you some scotch
in honor of the movie.
- Ah, a serious one.
- Yeah, it's a good one.
- 18 years.
- Yeah, it's 18 years.
My name is Zak Penn.
I'm a--
I'm a screenwriter mostly.
I have written
on a lot of films.
Uh, I wrote
"Last Action Hero."
I wrote a script called
"Suspect Zero."
I wrote "X-Men 2."
I've been
a production rewriter.
I've been a producer.
I've done a lot of different
things in Hollywood,
and I was the producer
of "Enigma of Loch Ness."
Werner: We really have to talk about a few things.
Okay, that's fine.
Because we only have
so much--
so much, uh, to do.
Right.
No, no, I know.
It's, you know, it's very,
very little time.
Right,
but what about the--
is this crew gonna film us
the whole time we're talking?
Is it okay? We should
switch it off here.
Let's-- let's take
the microphone off.
Yeah, I just--
you know, not the--
not to be paranoid
or whatever.
I've been up there once,
and you can roll
gigantic boulders
all the way down
to the ocean, and it's--
there's a feeling
of Sisyphus, and so it's...
Okay. Fine.
That's a typically Herzogian moment.
I'm happy to...
Yeah, well,
I don't even know whether it's gonna end up in the film.
Okay.
There's one thing that definitely is gonna end up in the film.
I need a truly obsessed
cryptozoologist.
Okay.
But one, I mean,
as obsessed as he is,
he shouldn't look
like-- like a wacko.
He should be credible.
Okay,
so obsessed but credible.
- Yes.
- Okay.
You probably have some connections down in Inverness already.
I do. Okay.
Some strange people
over there.
Yeah, no,
there's a lot of obsessed.
I don't know about credible,
but I'll look into it.
Um. Okay. Cool.
- Let's get a drink. Come on.
- Okay. Good, good.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Lena: Hello.
Come on in.
Missy:
Thank you.
- This is my wife Lena.
- Hello.
- Nice to see you.
- Hi, I'm Missy.
Hello.
Hi. Hi.
[Laughs]
So this is a-- it's a--
it's a film crew.
I know John Bailey.
How are you, John Bailey?
- Man: John, one second, please.
- Yeah, I'm in.
Same eye level.
- It just came out.
- What's this movie?
I'm after--
I'm after what--
what constitutes fact
and what constitutes truth.
You show me the difference.
Can you do that?
Of course not.
Mention any card at all.
Did you see the way he took that out of his pocket?
Very tricky.
- Mention any card?
- Yeah.
Um... ace of spades.
- [Laughs]
- Um, you could.
What you mentioned
was the ace of spades.
And you're behind me
and on all sides of me.
And over me.
But that still
should work.
[All laugh]
- Oh!
- Wow.
Hello, hello, hello?
- Hello.
- Ah...
- How are you?
- You must be the Mexican.
- Gabby Beristain, yes.
- Ah, nice to meet you.
- Yes, finally.
- Very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Yes. Finally.
So you probably know
how to handle yucca.
- Of course!
- I'm a little bit lost.
Yes.
Elisabeth, my wife.
- Can I say Gabriel?
- Absolutely.
Hi. How are you?
Sounds a little bit
more serious.
Gabby, how are you?
Looking dapper as always.
Yes, thank you
very much.
I'm a member of the American Society of Cinematographers
and the British Society
of Cinematographers.
I have done films like "Blade II," uh,
"S.W.A.T." recently.
Films like "K2,"
"Caravaggio" in the past.
I have done about 25 films--
feature films so far.
Do you like my "Fitzcarraldo" look, sir?
[Speaks Spanish]
La elegancia.
La elegancia.
That film changed
my life, I must say.
It's fantastic.
- Which one?
- "Fitzcarraldo."
- Let's not talk about movies.
- No, we won't. We won't.
I was hired to do
"The Enigma of Loch Ness"
by an invitation
from Zak Penn.
One day
he called me and said,
"Look, I'm doing a film
with Werner Herzog."
Obviously, the opportunity to work with Werner Herzog is unique.
Films like "Fitzcarraldo,"
"Aguirre"
shaped our understanding not only of filmmaking,
but also life.
A cinematographer must--
must not be a coward.
Absolutely.
You have to be physical,
you have to have courage.
Yeah, yeah.
- Keep the other eye always open.
- Sure.
Gabriel Beristain is
a director of photography
who works on very,
very commercial movies.
Big, big Hollywood movies.
And I thought this would be
a fantastic opportunity
for Werner to work
with someone like this.
It might bring a whole
new audience to his films.
- Okay. Cheers.
- Well, you have saved directors.
[Both laugh]
Cheers.
[Overlapping chatter]
Uh, Gabriel...
Where do you
want me to sit?
Right there.
[Jazz music playing]
[clinks glasses]
Very good to have
you here.
Cheers. Prost.
No, that's-- it's fun
to believe in things,
but Carl Sagan
in his book says
just because it's fun
to believe in things
doesn't mean that we should
believe in them.
No, it's not fun.
I think there's-- no, no, no, no, no.
Zak: But it's possible there's something there.
I mean,
isn't it possible?
No, Zak.
It's-- and, Jeff.
It's not just fun.
It's a deep necessity
of this civilization.
There's something not gone right with our civilization.
And somehow we need
the very dark monsters.
- Mm.
- Come on, you are the expert.
Now...
"The Exterminating Angel."
I've got to admit
to my defeat.
I have to admit
to a defeat.
I wanted to serve
you yucca.
But I think it's not well-- right done.
It still
has a kind of taste
that is not
completely correct.
You-- you would know.
- Yeah.
- Gabriel?
Do you want me
to put it here?
But be careful,
though.
If it's not
completely well-done...
- Oh, yeah.
- It's still kind of toxic.
- You want me to try?
- [Laughter]
Toxic. Oh.
[Overlapping chatter]
Can can you
just a moment?
Just one moment
with him, yeah.
A friend of mine made it
and it's a ritual
for the new ones.
- Ah, well, salud.
- Salud.
Look, I do
have some concerns,
- and I really needed to talk to you about it.
- Yeah, what is it?
Well, I mean, mainly
my lighting package.
My lighting package
is tiny.
What do you mean
by "lighting package"?
Because we don't need any.
It's a documentary.
Well, there is
some lighting.
I mean, I told Gabby
there would be some lighting.
But I don't think we need to-- I mean, this--
But that makes it much
more clumsy, and...
Well, I do need Werner to tell me all about the recreations,
what he wants to do
and which light--
What-- was it,
recreations?
- It's dessert time. Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
Is it reenactments?
What is on your mind?
You know what?
Let me sort this out.
You go have dessert,
and I'll talk to Gabby about it.
This is-- it's not
a good time, because--
Yeah, we need
to clarify that.
- I mean, I don't know--
- No, no, no. We will.
He knows.
We've talked about this many times.
He's just-- he's had a couple of drinks.
It's a social setting.
Let's go back
to the party.
Let's go back to the--
I swear to you, Gabby,
we're gonna
settle this, all right?
Zak, we need to talk about this.
This is serious, man.
Or course we do. Of course,
of course. Come on.
That's the trouble
with those, I...
do not have
the right razor blades.
I've got a lot
of those, but...
let's see.
Just don't click in.
John, you shouldn't sh**t
such a banality.
Uh, rather, filmmaking
is a chain of banalities.
[Music playing]
John: Lot of different kinds there.
No, that's--
that's the problem.
Yeah, which one I buy.
I better buy those,
though,
because it has both of it.
Plus that is safe.
John:
So, Werner, how did--
how did it come that Zak
ended up producing this film?
Don't you normally
produce your own movies?
Normally
I produce my own films,
but that
was always a necessity.
But here there was a case
where, all of a sudden,
the money was there
and I didn't have to--
to go through
all this hassle.
And most important was that
Zak was so enthusiastic,
and that was
kind of convincing.
I think
it's gonna work out.
Okay.
Hey, wait, wait.
Where are you going? Forgot.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
[Sighs]
John:
What are you guys doing?
Oh, that's an old
Russian superstition.
It's not a superstition.
Come on.
It's very Russian.
No, it's not
a superstition.
It's Russian,
but it's not a super--
you have to sit down before you go for a journey.
If you don't,
you get screwed up.
- We'd better move. Come on.
- Okay.
[Speaks German]
Maybe call you tomorrow.
Thank you.
- Thanks a lot.
- Thank you, folks.
Uh, just out here.
Um...
Nessie's one of the least interesting things about this area.
I mean, if you look at-- coming into Inverness now,
this whole area,
ten years ago,
it was a big farm.
And now it's just another
flipping franchise complex.
Another chapter in globalization in Scotland.
You can bring to light so many of the problems in this area.
And so many of the--
the issues.
Well, I'm not
here for that.
That's TV stuff.
Robert O'Meara, yes, he got
a little bit on my nerves.
I didn't dislike him.
His heart
was in the right place.
And he was a good kid.
I want to see
the background,
Highland games,
maybe people who...
- Highland games, yeah?
- ...who make whiskey.
And some real
urchin in a cellar.
And, um...
Some-- right, okay.
Okay, great. Great.
A guy-- a shepherd
with his flock.
Anything. Anything.
- You see, we need to--
- Shepherd...
Don't write it down.
We just need to stay
open to anything.
I just say "shepherd" because-- I don't mean it literally.
Let anything come,
and we'll do it.
Ah, okay. Metaphor.
Great. Um...
Yes.
Show you your quarters.
Looks nice.
Where's the production
office?
It's just down
the corridor here,
but I thought you'd be--
you're obviously quite jet-lagged.
I mean--
No, no, come on.
Who is there?
Are they all there?
Yeah, probably.
Um...
Right.
It's room number 10.
Yeah, let's see the--
- Thank you, May.
- Thank you.
I'd like to see
the office.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Okay, let's go.
Hello, folks.
Werner Herzog has arrived.
Oh, my God.
Werner, how are you?
Zak: I am an enormous fan of Werner's,
but am I after credibility?
Sure.
I had dreams
of winning an award
for working on a movie
with Werner Herzog.
This is all the proof
we need.
Yeah, I know.
It's great, isn't it?
It's, like, uh,
all the Nessie stuff.
Hey, let's go get a drink.
What do you say?
Should we do some work?
Come on. It's late.
I've been here all day.
Let's have a drink,
at least, to celebrate.
Do they have a stout?
- I'm sure they have a stout.
- Yeah, okay.
- This is Scotland.
- Out there? In the hall?
Oh, hey, John.
Uh, did you guys
come with Werner?
John: No,
we took an earlier flight.
Oh, how long
are you staying?
John:
As long as Werner's here.
They were at the airport.
- I was kind of surprised.
- Oh, great.
- In heavy rain.
- Yeah, it's good to see you.
Well, welcome.
Welcome. Hey, Matt.
- How are you?
- Let's have a stout.
- What's up, Zak?
- Great.
Attention. Attention, please.
Um, welcome.
If we could all please
give our names and roles,
we'll go around
the table quickly.
Uh, my name is Zak Penn.
I'm the producer.
I've been introduced.
Werner Herzog.
Russell Williams,
sound mixer.
Russell: Well,
I worked in the Los Angeles film industry
for 23 years.
I'm a two-time
Academy Award winner,
two-time Emmy winner
for sound.
I worked on
"Field of Dreams,"
"Glory,"
and "Dances With Wolves."
Worked on a couple
with Eddie Murphy.
"Boomerang" and "Distinguished Gentleman."
That's actually
where I worked
with our cinematographer,
Gabriel.
Gabriel Beristain, cinematographer, DP,
camera man.
Uh, David Davidson.
I'm the captain.
- Werner: We haven't met.
- No. How do you do, Mr. Herzog?
I was hired as the marine coordinator for the film.
And then I was asked
if I could actually
be the captain of the ship.
I actually
had to drive the boat
as well as coordinating
everything else
that was going on
round about.
So you've got five days on the boat later on this week.
Five days? That's--
that sounds very much--
I mean,
I don't need five days.
Russell: I agree.
That's excessive, isn't it?
Gabriel: Well,
I don't think it's that excessive.
Werner: Gabriel. Gabriel.
I don't need five days.
It's just a waste of time.
- Zak: But, Werner. Werner.
- Yeah?
Can I just interrupt
for a second?
Um, there's actually
some pretty good reasons.
Could you--
could you get the stuff?
David: I mean,
I can do my boat in a day.
Right. I'm aware of that.
Thanks, David.
But, there's actually
reasons that have--
that are more important that have to do
with what kind of promises we've made
in terms of the film
that we're gonna deliver.
We have to have
a credible expedition.
Part of the reason--
take a look at these.
Part of the reason why
I have taken such lengths
to make everything
look so official
is because
I want to show people
that we're actually
doing a real expedition.
- So...
- Werner: What's that for? I mean, what's it for?
This is-- you mean, what's-- it's, like,
an official expedition jumpsuit.
What do you mean
what is it for?
- Yeah, I--
- I mean, what--
There's nothing official.
We're sh**ting a film.
- Well, it's for safety.
- We're just sh**ting.
What safety.
What do you mean by safety?
I mean,
if you fall in the water,
this way we know
you're one of our team.
I mean, this is--
that's the point.
Come on, Russell.
I want to go to work.
Let's sh**t
this Adrian Shine guy.
- Let's go out.
- Russell: Right now?
Adrian Shine, yeah.
Zak: Are we on the boat,
or are we--
Werner:
Let's just go to work.
Robert: Werner, do you want a car?
You want to drive?
B.J., could you bring
the van around, please?
Oh, yeah.
Go-- go down there.
Just go upstairs.
Attaching a motor...
[continues quietly]
Okay, but how
does it operate?
It's totally remote-controlled from the boat.
So you're gonna be
on the boat?
Oh, no, definitely not.
I'm not planning on going on the boat. I can't--
I can't swim.
You can't swim?
Really?
Okay, well, build it.
John:
Let's go.
Okay, so which way
do you think we'll start?
Like, basically--
Okay, well, that way,
I'll keep my mics
pointed away from the traffic,
and that reduces as much as I can.
I would like to have
the camera on that side.
The camera will be right next to you.
We'll be like this.
That was a productive day.
We started out with Adrian Shine who is a naturalist
who lives right by the shore
of the lake.
And I truly
liked his beard.
He, among all the wackos
that you find out there,
seemed to be the only
voice of reason.
Undoubtedly, the Loch Ness monster exists as myth.
And as an amalgam of myth.
With the coming
of Christianity,
many of these other
beliefs, of course,
assumed
a diabolical status.
And then we shot with a man,
Steve Feltham,
who lives
right down by the lake
for 12 years
by now, and, uh...
Could just see that.
Werner: And we got some very nice landscapes.
So the more you--
more time you spend here,
the less monsters
you will see,
because the more things
you will understand.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Wait with that, please.
What was interesting
is how confused they were,
because you were actually
sh**ting digital video
from a different
perspective
and I was straight at them
with my celluloid camera.
With your crew, I'm not sure
whether we've started or not.
No, no, well, they--
they are--
they are always
around somehow.
It was just a surveillance
camera in a shopping mall.
Two boys
taking a toddler away,
and they actually
m*rder*d him.
Werner, this is
Professor Michael Karnow.
- He is our cryptozoologist.
- Hello.
- A pleasure to meet you.
- This is Gabby Beristain, cinematographer.
We finally are teamed up
on an expedition.
I'm looking forward to it.
I want to
let you know that
you should feel free
to use me as a resource.
For data, information,
anything having to do with
the cryptozoological topics.
- He's there for you.
- Yep.
Oh, you know, I have
something for you, actually.
Uh, a photograph.
Werner wanted
a cryptozoologist,
which--
a cryptozoologist
is a person who studies
undiscovered animals,
I guess is the best way
to put it.
The people who go out
and look for
the abominable snowman
or Nessie
or any of these creatures.
- The jungle pig.
- What is it called?
Uh, I know you spent a lot
of time in the Amazon basin,
and that's where
this was photographed.
A thousand miles
from its native habitat.
But where is it?
I can't figure it out.
Right here. The snout,
the appendages, fore and aft,
got these haunches.
I was going to-- I want to give you this, actually.
- This is a gift for you.
- Oh, that's very kind of you, yeah.
- "To Werner"?
- That's okay, yes.
To Werner.
I actually
like your beard.
- You will be great on film.
- Well, thank you.
All the naturalists here
have wonderful beards.
- "Best wishes."
- Thank you.
That's for you.
That's a gift.
- That's very kind.
- Let's go eat some breakfast.
What is that?
Oh, this is
a long story.
Okay, did I do
what you wanted there?
Yeah, you're fine.
You were yourself.
- Okay, guys, have a good day.
- I still can't--
Where is the--
gonna keep it anyway.
It's supposed
to be somewhere there.
[Motor chugging]
[motor stops]
- It's not gonna work.
- What's not gonna work?
The engine on this boat
is way too loud.
So we can't get any usable
dialogue on this boat
if the engine is running.
Well, what's the solution
to that?
I don't know if you
have this in the budget,
but on "Drop Zone" we actually used a tow vessel
about 500 yards
beyond the bow,
and we pulled
the picture boat along,
and that way this boat
would be totally quiet.
That's the only thing
I can suggest.
No, I mean, that's just
absolutely ridiculous.
You know, I'm--
no, we can't do that.
Two weeks ago, you guys
showed me some boat, right?
That was--
it was a smaller boat,
but I remember
when we walked on, you said,
"This boat has
a whisper-quiet engine."
That was a much smaller boat,
you know, with a smaller engine.
No, no, I under-- hear me out.
No, I know.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
What I'm saying is take the engine from that boat and put it in this boat.
Take out this engine,
put in that engine, or wherever it goes.
- I mean, again, that's totally ridiculous.
- Why is that ridiculous?
That's like putting a mini engine in a Rolls-Royce.
I mean, and safety--
You know what? No, wait.
Wait. It's fine. Okay.
This boat was thoroughly approved by everybody on production in LA.
- Except me.
- Here's the thing.
If you won't do it,
it's fine.
We'll get somebody else
who will do it.
Find a different captain,
find somebody who will put the engine in for me.
I understand.
I respect that.
I respect he doesn't
want to do it.
So if he doesn't want to do it,
he doesn't have to do it.
We'll find somebody else
who will.
Or do you want to do it?
I'll do it.
Okay, good.
So then that's what we'll do.
We'll take that engine,
we'll put it in this boat,
we'll get some good sounds,
we'll all go home,
we won't go too fast.
It'll be fine, okay?
- Russell: Problem solved.
- Okay? Let's go.
John: So, Robert,
let me ask you a question.
Uh, how's production going
so far?
Uh, not bad, not bad.
We've had a few
interesting days
now that
Mr. Herzog's here.
I know that they
went down to the shore
and they got that nut
who lives in that van.
And I heard
that was pretty funny, too.
So good.
Think it's going well.
I would say it's going
very well because--
well, I do not
see any dailies,
but from my gut feeling,
that's always to what
it boils down, I can say.
It's been very good.
There was real life in sh**ting.
Werner knows exactly
what he was looking for
and today he was
just showing--
I mean,
everyone there was absolutely fascinated by his questions.
The crew is good.
I really do have
a good rapport with Gabriel.
And with the sound man,
Russell.
He's very professional
and it's good fun
to have him around.
This is like a dream
come true for me, John.
I mean, it's a very
beautiful location
and, in general,
up here in the Highlands, it's very quiet.
There's not a lot
of vehicular traffic.
There's a couple of random
people on crew who--
they were kind of brought in
mainly by Zak, really.
Um, the most
obscure of which
would have to be Karnow
the cryptozoologist.
What I'm doing here
is I'm doing laundry.
As you can see, I'm separating them.
Whites from darks.
But I don't use detergent,
because that degrades the fiber,
and after a hundred
or so washes,
what you'll begin to see
is your apparel
beginning to literally
fall apart.
But if you just
hang it up like this
and you let some air
come through,
the dirt,
it falls out.
Who just seems to be
a little... I don't want
to use the word "eccentric,"
'cause I don't think
it quite fits him.
This is from the famous
Lodge-Kinney expedition
in British Columbia, 1978.
This was sent
to a laboratory,
and the findings were
that it does not match with
any known genetic sequence.
Okay? So whether this
is Bigfoot or Sasquatch
or the wild man
of the mountain,
there's no confirmation
one way or the other.
Here we have a tentacle.
This was captured by a team
of fishermen off of...
- John: Hold it still. Let me take a look at it.
- ...Sri Lanka.
- Tentacle of what?
- Uh, I don't know exactly.
Again,
it could be a squid
that if it grew
to its full length...
would...
be perhaps 100 feet.
John: So tomorrow's the first day on the boat.
Are you excited?
Looking forward,
absolutely.
I think really, really,
really very excited about it.
Most of my previous work
in this region
has been
land-based, okay?
To get out on the water,
I think it's gonna give me
a whole new perspective
on finding this thing
and gathering data.
I think our chances
by being out there,
increase exponentially.
And I've seen the boat.
It looks clumsy, but it's very--
it looks reliable.
Clumsy.
Has a very nice,
deep, resonant sound.
Not too loud.
I'm really impressed that our producer actually took the time
to refit an engine
in the boat
because there was gonna be
a sound problem.
Now, I've done sound
in Hollywood for 23 years,
and I can tell you
that very rarely happens.
The thing that people
are gonna pay to see
is not Werner throwing
some rocks down a hill.
It's gonna be Werner Herzog
on the prow of that boat,
or whatever it is-- the mast--
the thing at the front.
Standing there, hunting
the g*dd*mn Loch Ness monster.
Show me one piece
of evidence
that proves this thing
does not exist, okay?
They don't have--
I mean, you know, they're saying,
"Show us the evidence."
I'm saying,
"Show us the non-evidence."
Give us one piece.
You know?
Where are the books written
about the non-evidence?
I think Zak Penn and I are now,
at this stage, speaking separate languages.
There's so many
misunderstandings,
there's so many different
communications.
One of the reasons why
I've shifted into producing
is because, you know, I'm sick
of being in the background.
I'm sick of not having any say,
of being pushed around.
You know,
one of the things
I like about being
a producer is, you know,
you don't take as much sh*t
from people.
You say,
"Here's what I want."
You know?
"Fire that writer."
Perhaps the only thing
that I'm a bit concerned
is with the famous--
the recreations.
Yeah, I think the recreations
are a bit strange.
I'm still not sure exactly what we are gonna be doing with that.
But Werner knows exactly
what he's doing,
and I think
it's gonna be great.
Yeah.
All right,
that's the case that's got the Nagra in it right there, Werner.
So that's all backup.
[Indistinct chatter]
- I'm David. I'm the captain.
- I'm Steve, camera assistant.
- Cables.
- Thanks.
You want to put your camera
up here in the port side?
I'm gonna be running cable
port, starboard, stern, bow.
David: Yeah, so what are you?
What do you do?
- Hmm?
- What do you do?
Cryptozoologist.
Scientific advisor.
The guy came on board
the boat, you know.
Didn't really seem to know
what he was talking about.
You know, brought all these
strange electronic objects out.
- This is a, uh-- an advanced scanner.
- [Beeping]
And I can't wait to get
this puppy out there.
I got this right here,
which should come in handy.
I can-- well, that gives you
a sense for how it extends.
And then
you can do it double.
It's got this nub
at the end.
As long as you keep me informed of everything you're doing
on board the boat, you know,
before you go and do it.
You got it. This is about three feet,
but it may extend to nine.
- Really?
- Okay? And we're gonna be running it
probably port-starboard
direction.
- Yeah, that sounds really interesting.
- All right.
Okay.
[Device beeps]
These are gonna be here,
and I don't need people touching them, okay?
Hey. I'm Kitana Baker.
- Who are you?
- Kitana Baker.
Gabriel: The first day on the boat was very,
very interesting
to say the least.
We were boarding the boat
when suddenly,
from nowhere,
the most absolutely
beautiful creature
came in with us.
She had the boiler suit.
She was absolutely beautiful.
Her name is Kitana.
Her tag name was
"sonar operator,"
but obviously Werner
was as puzzled
and as surprised
as every one of us.
Where's Zak?
I hadn't been told
anything about this woman
working aboard the ship.
So all of a sudden
she walks up to me
and she has this jumpsuit on
and it says "sonar operator."
And she didn't look like
a sonar operator.
Can the boat
go any faster?
No.
What's our course today?
Where are we heading?
We're steering 0-6-0.
Cable!
I don't know
what he's doing.
It's going-- I think
it's going really well.
I think it's,
uh, you know--
a few disappointments.
I'm a little bit disappointed Werner didn't wear the jumpsuit.
I would have liked
to have seen that.
I think it would help
with the expedition.
The jumpsuit.
Oh, my God, yeah.
I never had any intention
to wear that.
It was just ridiculous.
And they even misspelled
"expedition" on the back.
We're gonna head up
to Urquhart Castle
to do a shot with Michael Karnow,
our cryptozoologist.
And-- oh, wow, John.
Look at this.
You're gonna get a fighter
pilot coming right by.
[Jet engine roaring]
Wow.
That's cool, huh?
You know,
I actually--
I wrote a movie about--
"Behind Enemy Lines."
And I went out
on an aircraft carrier.
And I think that's when I really started to love being on the water.
We may have break out that Nagra.
I don't know.
Gabriel:
We started working,
and the first thing
that we had to do,
we have to interview
our-- our scientist.
Werner: Professor Karnow,
can you tell us about the monster?
Sure. The so-called
Loch Ness monster
- is a large aquatic creature.
- [Radio chatter]
I'm sorry. I gotta stop.
I hear the walkie-talkies in the wheelhouse.
- David.
- Hear the walkies.
- David, the walkie-talkie.
- Sorry.
- Okay. Let's go.
- Sorry, Werner. Still rolling.
- Yeah.
- You got some spray on it.
- And rolling.
- Professor Karnow, the third.
The so-called Loch Ness monster
is an aquatic creature
that lives beneath
these black waters right here.
Um, is probably
a reptile of size.
Professor Karnow,
do you really believe in the monster?
Absolutely. I mean,
there's been 10,000 sightings
of this thing
over 1,500 years.
If you look at that,
and you look at the Birmingham sonar readings,
- basically cut-and-dry evidence.
- Cut. Cut.
Michael, that's fine.
Yeah, that's fine.
- Okay, Russell, we film back there.
- We're good? Okay.
That was very-- that was great, Michael.
It was really great.
Don't worry.
It was great.
- John: David, let me ask you something.
- Yeah?
I'm curious about the name
of the boat, Discovery IV.
What happened to
Discovery I, II, and III?
There weren't
a Discovery I, II, and III.
Then number IV.
Why call it number IV?
That was the producer's idea
to call it Discovery IV.
He thought it would sound
more authentic.
- Yeah?
- Is there any way we can turn that radio off?
- Especially while we're sh**ting.
- No.
Hmm. Okay. Well, I mean,
you're really k*lling me here.
I'm really not getting any good sound here,
but all right, whatever.
John: How do you feel about changing the name of the boat?
Well, there's a tradition that by changing the name of the boat,
you know,
it's bad luck.
Bad luck.
You mean, bad luck for us?
I hope not.
Yes, I named the boat
Discovery IV.
That was my idea. You know,
I thought it sounded cool.
It was very important to me
to build a credible expedition.
That's why I had the jumpsuits.
That's why I had that sonar.
I wanted people to think
and to feel
like this was an authentic
expedition
to find
the Loch Ness monster.
Jacques Cousteau didn't go out
in a boat called, you know,
The Tweety Bird. You know,
it had some cool name.
I don't know what it was,
but I'm sure it was cool.
And Discovery IV.
You know, Discovery IV.
I don't know.
To me, it just-- it worked.
One moment
Werner was downstairs
in the hull
and Zak pulls me
and pulls Russell
and said, "Come on. Come on.
I need you very quickly. Very quickly."
We are gonna be filming
Kitana, an interview.
And Kitana was going to explain
something about the sonar.
- You're gonna say--
- What's my line again?
Say, "I'm gonna attach the antenna,"
something like that.
- It doesn't really matter.
- Okay.
You jump in the water, you come right back out,
we reset, we'll do it again.
- Okay? I'll get water.
- Okay.
We're gonna wet
my hair first.
- You want me to hold that for you?
- Yes, please.
You don't want
that to get wet.
And then suddenly,
that incredible girl
pull her boiler suit out,
and then she's with
the tiniest bikini
I ever seen in my life.
And, Zak,
why exactly am I wearing a G-string bikini?
Because you are a model
and you're a sonar operator.
Okay? Let's get this done.
Come on, guys.
Okay, okay. Come on.
Time is money. That's wet enough.
- Here we go.
- Here you go.
- All right, guys. Let's roll it.
- Okay.
And speed.
Sexy sonar one.
I'm gonna set down--
let me restart, okay?
Zak: Yeah, just do it again.
Do it again.
I'm gonna go down
and set the sensor.
My name is Kitana Baker.
I am an actress
and a model.
Um, I've modeled
for "Playboy"
and I have been in the Miller Lite catfight commercials.
And I've done some work
for "Wild On E!"
And a few small film roles.
But, um...
[gasping]
Gabriel: So she went into the water.
I mean,
it was-- we just couldn't believe what happened.
I can't do this.
[Shivering]
I'm sorry.
It's too cold.
That's okay. That's okay.
That was pretty good. Can we reset?
What's going on here?
What's going on?
Werner came out and literally caught us red-handed.
Come on in. It's way too cold.
This water is really cold.
And then he pointed at me.
"Gabriel, what are you doing?"
Gabriel,
what are you doing here?
I'm just doing
what I'm told.
Werner: But you're burning all our raw stock.
I mean,
obviously I felt like I should point my finger to Zak
and said, "He's telling
me we have to--"
Russell and I said,
"We're making two films."
Well, to me,
it kind of trivialized what we were doing
in terms of, you know,
making a serious documentary.
I mean, if it had come
from Werner, then okay.
Then that's all part
of his grand design.
But Werner was a little upset
when he came back
to the aft part
of the ship
and girlfriend was jumping out
of the water, wet and cold.
Zak, please, can you come in?
Please come in.
I need to talk to you.
Guys, can you give us a moment?
I need to talk
to Zak here.
My DP--
my DP out there
is sh**ting,
and I'm not around.
- I know. I know.
- What is happening there?
I don't know. I don't know.
It was a surprise to me, too.
But you, as a producer,
you should know what to do.
- You have to stop him.
- Right. Right.
I'm the one who
should call the shots.
I wanted some answers
from Zak.
I really wanted to know
what the hell was going on,
but before he could even start
to give me any explanations,
all of a sudden
Michael starts to yell
that he had seen something
in the water.
[Tapping on window]
- My God.
- Is something wrong?
- Nessie.
- You're in my way.
Look at that.
Look.
- Nessie.
- What is that?
David: No,
that's the wake of a boat.
It's just normally caused by the boat moving through the water.
Oh.
Oh, well.
- Sound speed.
- Camera speed.
Okay, one.
The question
we ask ourselves is this--
why do they think
that in these deep waters
a prehistoric creature,
some sort of a dinosaur,
is dwelling?
Why, out of all lakes in Scotland,
are they coming here?
Because this is the loch
where the creature lives.
And today is the day we're gonna find it.
We've got Nessie weather.
- We've got a light breeze, partly cloudy--
- Zak: Cut it.
Michael.
Michael, please.
Michael, I'm sh**ting
a film here,
and when I'm doing a film,
please don't walk into a shot.
Oh, I understand,
but-- but, okay--
you're not
"yes and-ing" me, okay?
I don't understand
what you mean.
Okay, basically-- okay, I'll add a piece of information, okay,
then you add another piece
of information.
But if you negate my information,
it stops everything.
- Okay.
- Look, I'm just glad we were able to do this.
- We can interact this way now.
- It's okay. It's okay.
- Thank you.
- Yeah. Russell.
Is he serious, boss?
Werner: Michael was a strange character.
But in retrospect...
when I learned everything,
I kind of understand
him much better.
I think he was doing
what he was told to do.
- Tell me the position.
- I need you a bit more--
- Like this?
- Yeah. Good.
- Okay, I'm rolling.
- Rolling.
- And speed.
- Camera rolling.
Number two.
The question we ask
ourselves is this--
why, in defiance
of all logic,
millions of people
are coming to this lake here,
believing that
there's a dinosaur,
some sort
of a prehistoric creature
- dwelling in the waters?
- John: What is that?
- Why, of all lochs...
- Hey, Matt, did you see something in the water?
- Didn't you see it?
- I didn't see anything, John.
- Oh. Okay.
- Was it okay?
- Russell: Clean. Very clean.
- Sound okay for you?
I know you did what you could for me as far as this engine.
- Uh-huh.
- But we have another big problem.
This radio keeps going off in between and during the shots.
- It's a big problem.
- What radio?
The radio--
the captain's radio.
I got the walkie-talkies
under control,
but his radio's blasting
all the time.
If we could turn it down
or get rid of it,
we might get
something usable.
- Okay. Okay.
- Do what you can do.
Okay.
A lot of strange things happened
the first day on the boat
and it looked like
a confusing puzzle to me
while I was working there.
But at the end of the day,
somehow everything fell into place
and I knew--
I just knew that there was
something seriously wrong.
If we rented two cars,
it would actually be cheaper than renting the one van.
- Robert: Yeah.
- Well, that makes no sense.
Get the-- let's get the transpo guy in here and talk to him about it.
Bring him in now.
Let's get this worked out.
There's no point
in bringing him in now.
It's-- you've got a meeting
in 15 minutes. So...
- Oh. Um...
- We can talk to him in the morning.
No, no. That's right.
That's right. Guys, I'm sorry.
I know I said
you could sh**t in here,
but I've got a meeting
in 15 minutes,
so you guys actually have to clear out now,
if you don't mind.
- John: Sure, Zak. No problem.
- Okay, good.
Well, let's bring him in first thing in the morning, then, and...
Hey, Werner.
Let's bring him in first
thing in the morning
and we'll get this
sorted out then
- and we'll do it before we get on the boat.
- Zak.
- Yeah?
- We need to talk.
Okay. Can we go
in the other room?
No, just stay here.
You know,
I know what's going on.
I know exactly
what is going on.
- What do you mean?
- You're sh**ting with the cinematographer all alone
and I'm not there and you have this girl in a bikini
and she's supposed
to be a sonar expert.
Come on.
I'm too long in the profession.
I'm just too long in the profession to know what's going on.
It's a hoax.
It is just a hoax.
I think you're really
overreacting.
No, I'm smelling a rat
against the wind.
When it's there,
I smell it and that's it.
- I just smell it.
- Jesus.
I don't know what to say.
Zak, we are done.
We're just done.
John, you better get that f*cking camera out of my face.
I'm serious.
Get out of my f*cking way.
- Zak: Don't pack your bags.
- Werner: Get out, Zak.
I just want you to get out.
Just get out of here.
John, come on.
Listen, Werner...
I made a mistake, okay?
I mean, that's--
- What do you mean by "mistake"?
- Well, I mean that I-- I--
You actually lied to me.
You just lied to me.
- Well...
- That's a difference.
Well, listen, you once said to me,
"Cinema is lies."
Come on. What do you mean
by "cinema is lies"?
Sure, there's a distinction.
If you can't make
the distinction,
if you just can't make
the distinction...
why don't you become
a talk show host?
- Okay. Well...
- Or become a prosecutor, become a lawyer.
- Okay, well, I think...
- Just don't make movies.
Listen, I distorted things so that things would be more dramatic.
I don't see what's so wrong about that.
I really don't.
I mean, okay,
a couple of things didn't come out the way I wanted,
but that doesn't mean you have to go pack your bags and leave.
Don't give up
on the movie now.
You've got points
on this movie, my friend.
- You walk out this door, you sacrifice that.
- I don't care about points.
- Okay, well...
- I just care about a good movie.
Well, that's all I care about.
That's all I'm trying to do.
And if you walk out the door,
there's no movie, okay?
Everyone who works here,
everyone who is working on
this movie loses their jobs.
I lose all the money
I've put into it.
- You lose everything you've done.
- Don't talk about money.
I know you don't care,
but I care.
- Why don't you make your own movie?
- Okay.
- Just make your own movie.
- Lovely, John.
I should have quit
right then and there
and I should have quit
the day after and the next day
and any day of sh**ting,
but somehow I couldn't
let it happen,
to have a film shut down
on my account.
At least, that's something
I told myself.
Werner, uh, listen.
There's some problems with the boat.
I just want to give you
the heads up about that.
It's not...
[engine sputtering]
What's wrong?
I don't know.
It's not my engine.
Zak: You know,
we were always having problems with that boat.
It wasn't just that day.
You know, look, in retrospect,
I don't want to point fingers
about why it went wrong,
although I do blame David
because I think
that he's the captain
and he should
be responsible for that.
There were
constant problems.
But anyway,
we got going.
[Motor chugging]
Zak was very insistent that
I explain the sonar equipment.
I had actually gotten
this equipment from--
through connections I had
to Jim Cameron's company.
Under the impression
that I was there
to play the role
of a sonar operator,
I had done some research
ahead of time.
Zak: It was really authentic-looking.
I mean, you know,
Jacques Cousteau
would have given
his left nut for this thing
and I just wanted to get
some shots of it on screen.
It's gonna make the movie
look really authentic.
Zak: And you'd think, like, whatever.
No big deal.
It would take us two seconds.
But it was like
pulling teeth.
- It will show. Please. Please, I'm begging you.
- Okay.
- Okay. Great.
- Are you ready?
While we were filming that,
the first
real incident occurred.
When I do documentaries,
I operate with my eye open--
my left eye open.
So both eyes are open.
I'm constantly checking inside the camera and the reality.
This is a technique that I learned and is very important.
Documentary cameramen have to always have this eye open.
Sonar one.
And action.
This is our sonar system.
Gabriel:
We were interviewing Kitana,
and suddenly
on my left eye,
I saw something
in the water.
Something was happening there.
Something there, very strange.
So immediately I pan
because I thought
I'm gonna miss it
if I don't do it.
I saw Gabriel panning
away from me.
Zak: He started saying,
"I see something. I see something."
I turned and looked
out the window.
I started yelling at Gabby
to stay on the shot.
Werner:
And then I saw you running
and I just followed you
out there.
- Over there.
- What's going on?
- There's something out there.
- Something underwater.
Michael: Look,
right there, in the water!
Matt:
Holy cow! What is that?
- Kitana: What is it?
- Matt: Is that a shark?
- Rolling. Keep rolling.
- Keep rolling!
- It went under.
- Where is it?
- Michael: Over there!
- Werner: Keep rolling!
- John: Jesus.
- Kitana: What is it?
- Michael: There it is.
- Werner: Are you pulling?
Zak: What's everybody doing?
What's going on?
I was running around the other side of the deck.
I saw nothing.
When I got to the side
of the boat, I admit--
there was some sort of little wake in
the water which I was unclear about,
but, I mean,
it could have been a fish.
- Kitana: Where?
- Michael: Werner! Werner, look!
It was moving towards us
very quickly,
and from the amount
of water--
the sheer amount of water
it was displacing,
you could tell
it was very large.
There was, like, a shape
moving in the water.
It was very interesting,
you know, like, extraordinary.
Like something really,
really traveling at tremendous speed.
And I said, "Okay, I'll film it,"
and we were filming it.
And Zak came out and said,
"What are you doing?"
- What's going on?
- And I confronted him.
Zak, come here.
I need to talk to you.
Look, you're gonna be
sh**ting effects,
you gotta give me
a fair warning.
- What?
- I mean, you've got to give me a fair warning.
I mean, I was about
not to get it, honestly.
Gabby, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
- I mean, if we're gonna do the effects...
- Gabby, Gabby.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
What are you talking about?
Zak, you've already
been lying to Werner.
You're not gonna be
lying to me, okay?
On one hand, I felt, okay,
I'm understanding what Zak is trying to do
and, okay,
now he is not telling Werner the whole situation.
He is not telling Werner
everything about it, but okay.
But then Zak was not even taking me into consideration on that,
and suddenly he's just
releasing all the effects
and he was trying to make it
like it all happened naturally.
To be absolutely honest with you,
it was a pretty good effect.
The idea that I put something in the water that, like,
you know--
whatever it was
that Gabby said,
that I had put some
special effect in the water
is absolutely insane.
I mean, I'm not David Copperfield,
for God's sakes.
It's not like I could pull off
a trick like this
standing in the boat.
It was crazy.
Werner: We just kept staring at that water.
Just at nothing else
but that water out there.
Things ground to a halt.
Okay, they just stopped.
The whole production
just stopped
and I tried--
I did my best to get things
started again
because, you know,
that's my job.
I'm the producer.
I'm supposed to keep things rolling.
But even Werner didn't seem to have any interest in sh**ting anything.
He just wanted
to keep looking in the water.
David, let's wrap.
Turn it around.
Let's go home.
Okay. All right.
- Great.
- Yeah, yeah.
John: Hey, Russell,
what happened out there today?
You know, I don't think
I saw anything, really.
I mean,
there was something--
some kind of disturbance
in the water.
I wouldn't say
it was a creature.
But I'm, you know,
just looking forward to getting back home.
That's my thought
right now.
These guys came along and they hired the boat and myself,
you know,
to do filming in the loch
and, um...
they reckon
they've seen things.
I've seen a kind of anomaly,
you know,
which I haven't seen before,
but it's just getting a bit confused as to what they're up to now.
It all just seems
really contrived.
You know, it's not what
I signed up for either.
Yeah, I think Zak's
up to something.
I don't trust him.
I don't think it's Zak.
I think that it's the other way around.
- I think it's Werner.
- Kitana: Werner?
I think that Werner
is running circles around Zak.
If you think about it, think about who Werner is,
think about who Zak is.
Okay, but Werner
is a very honest man.
Zak seems to be taking
advantage of everybody here.
Or-- or there
is some third entity
who is manipulating
both of them.
There's some third person,
an individual, and they're--
- Who would this third person be?
- I don't know who this is.
I think there's a game
being played
and we're watching
the game played out.
I think Herzog and Zak
are both sort of on the board being played
and we're all
pawns as well.
So, where do you
come into this, Mike?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm the rook.
Maybe I'm the bishop.
I don't know who I am.
Gabriel: Werner,
it is a setup. It's a fabrication.
You've got to believe me.
I have to figure this because it was kind of strange
what we saw today.
I don't believe he can make
a fabrication like that.
He told me about
the recreation, remember.
- He was--
- Yeah, but recreation, you see--
if a winged cow would fly across the lake,
then I would say, "Yeah.
Well, that's some sort
of a magic trick
or something
he's pulled off."
But it kind of looked
in a way that puzzles me.
You saw how it rolled.
You do a special effect
in a different way.
- I know. I know.
- You just have a hump out, but it doesn't roll.
It just doesn't roll.
He-- literally,
he's dragging you down
and I just--
I have to tell you.
I have to say it because I-- I feel that it is not right.
He's taking us for a ride,
both of us.
But, okay,
I just walk and go to a different film.
But what he is doing to you,
I mean, I have to tell you, Werner,
it is not fair.
There are forces out there and I think they're being manipulated.
- Let's take a walk.
- Huh? What?
The rumor that we were perpetrating some sort of a hoax
was spreading
among the locals
and I've seen that before.
I mean, uh, doing a film
like "Fitzcarraldo,"
there were wild rumors out
we were doing bad things
and violating civil rights
of native Indians.
All these sort of things.
They happen and these rumors are like a virus,
like a disease.
Like wildfire, they spread
and you just can't stop them.
We want to know
what's going on.
Easy, easy, easy!
- Hey!
- We want to know what's going on.
Nothing's going on.
Do it. Do it.
Do it now. Do it now.
Watch it!
Are you okay?
Zak: I don't want to make some sort of blanket comment
about the people
of Scotland,
but the fact that they
picked on Michael Karnow
of all people,
I think is pretty low.
I mean, this is a guy
who wouldn't hurt a fly.
Literally. He actually,
he literally has a thing about flies.
He will not hurt flies.
And the idea that that's the person they chose to blame
for, you know,
the imagined goings-on on the water, you know,
I think is sad.
It's really sad.
I've been on the phone
all morning.
I can't get in touch
with Gabby or Russell.
I need you to take the car,
go back to the hotel,
see if you can find them.
- They checked out this morning.
- They checked out?
Yeah, I tried there already and they checked out first thing this morning.
- Well, why didn't you tell me that?
- Why didn't you ask me?
So, where's Russell?
Where's Gabriel?
I don't really know, Werner.
They didn't show up.
So, no camera, no sound?
You've shot 16-millimeter before.
You could sh**t the movie.
Yeah. Fine. Perfect.
- I'm gonna be the cinematographer.
- Good.
- I can do the gaffer. I can even steer the boat.
- Great.
- Do you know what?
- What?
This is the single most chaotic production I've ever seen.
- Thanks. That's helpful.
- And I've been on a couple of difficult ones.
Yeah, I know you have.
At least we're not dragging
the boat over a hill.
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
You know what, John?
I don't want you guys on the boat today,
either of you.
- It's too disruptive. It's not good.
- No, no, no.
If I'm gonna sh**t this movie,
he's gonna sh**t his, too.
Okay. Fine.
On the boat.
It's not like I didn't see
what he was trying to do.
It's not like I wasn't aware that he was trying to make things worse.
But I just figured as long as he's willing to pick up that camera and sh**t,
let's just move on.
We'll laugh about this
another day,
which, obviously,
we have not.
You know, that other day never came,
but that's a different story.
or nonvalid sightings.
I don't know, Robert.
This doesn't seem to be working.
Robert: You need to switch it on, Zak.
There's a switch in the middle of the remote there.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Okay, so this one's
left and right.
- Mm-hmm.
- What's this one? Is this yaw?
Is that what this does?
Is that the yaw?
Probably not, seeing as
it's not a helicopter.
- Don't--
- I think that's broken.
Don't get wise
with me, Robert.
Robert: There's some kind of safety switch on the actual thing as well.
[Beeping]
What's that beeping?
- What are you doing there, Kitana?
- It's chess.
- Do you want to play?
- Oh, no. I'm too lousy.
I don't even know how the pieces are supposed to move.
Kitana, do you think you could get that sonar rolling?
I mean, the computer
or whatever there is.
I don't know. I mean,
I did a little bit of research.
I can take a look at it
and see what I can do.
All right.
Let's see what we can do here.
All right, first of all,
this actually needs to be plugged in.
- Plugged in where?
- This is a wireless transmitter.
- Mm-hmm.
- And this needs to be set down into the water.
All right. There we go.
There's the signal.
Thanks. It's working.
Okay, cool.
Let's do this.
Here you go, Robert.
- Grab that.
- All right.
Okay. Everybody ready?
Werner, are you ready with the camera?
- Yeah, give me some slack.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David, you just get ready.
When I throw this in,
you're gonna hit the engine
and start driving,
all right?
Yeah, Michael, you start
doing your narration
as soon as it
goes in the water.
- Okay?
- All right.
- All right. Okay, you ready?
- I think that's enough.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- One...
two, three!
- Michael: 1,800 years.
- Zak: sh**t it!
Werner: We'll only be seeing the wake.
Zak: I know, but it's floating away!
It's floating away.
- Look, it's perfect!
- I'm not gonna sh**t that.
- It's perfect!
- No, I'm not gonna sh**t that.
Zak: How could you not sh**t that?
Look at that. It's perfect.
Just sh**t it.
Turn the camera on.
Werner, sh**t it.
Look, it's in the water. It's perfect.
This is just pathetic.
It's pathetic. Just look at it.
It's not pathetic.
It's the money shot of our movie.
- Take a look through the camera.
- sh**t the g*dd*mn shot.
Stop arguing with me
and sh**t the g*dd*mn shot.
It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
I'm not gonna sh**t this.
This is so dumb.
I've never seen anything as dumb as that.
Werner, either you sh**t the shot or I'm gonna sh**t you, okay?
I had heard the stories
about Kinski
and about Herzog directing Kinski with a g*n pointed at him
and, you know, I just thought,
the g*n was there
and, you know,
I wasn't planning on sh**ting him.
Or I'm gonna
sh**t you, okay?
Just sh**t it.
How does it feel now
being at the other end of the g*n,
my friend? Go ahead.
That's just a myth.
I've never done that.
I've never tried to direct
anyone with a g*n pointed.
You know what?
I'll direct you with a g*n pointed right at your head, my friend.
Pick up
that camera and sh**t.
The story
of me directing Kinski
with a g*n pointed at him
from behind the camera,
it's just a fabrication,
a myth of the media.
I'm just tired of defending myself against it.
It has its own life.
Why don't you
take a good look?
It's just a flare g*n
and it's not even loaded.
- Just take a look. Just look at it.
- Oh.
[Thuds]
What was that?
Okay, that's it.
We're heading for the shore.
Do you see anything?
What the hell was that?
Something hit the boat,
you know?
I don't--
I don't know what it was,
but something just rammed
right into us.
David: I was quite concerned about what was happening,
you know, and I decided
to head for the shore.
Quite a fog had set in.
You know,
I was pretty concerned about that as well.
Hey, guys, there's
something following us.
[Sonar pinging]
David: Coast Guard,
Coast Guard, Coast Guard.
"Discovery IV" to Coast Guard.
Do you read me?
What's going on?
What's wrong with the radio?
Do you read me?
The radio's knackered. It's broken.
It is possible
that I told one
of the crew members
to remove the guts
of the radio
because of the sound
problems.
It's possible.
I'm not saying that that's true.
It might have been David who did it himself.
I don't know.
I think we're losing it.
[Pinging stops]
[rattles]
- Why did we stop?
- David: Engine stopped.
Can we start it?
- I'm trying to start it.
- [Engine sputtering]
It will not start.
David:
We had a major problem.
We were stuck in the middle
of the loch with no power.
Nothing.
Now, Michael, tell me,
why is this creature following us?
- Huh?
- It keeps following us.
- I don't know.
- Yeah, but you should know.
You are the cryptozoologist.
You're the expert.
I'm not a cryptozoologist.
I'm not a scientist.
- What do you mean by that?
- I don't know anything.
- You asked me for credible, but obsessive.
- Yes.
Do you understand it's impossible to find both those?
Impossible to find?
You don't call this credible?
- No, I'm not saying--
- This took me two months to grow this.
- Michael, don't be a baby.
- Baby? I'm a baby now?
I can't believe this is the debate we're having right now.
I can't believe this
is what we're discussing.
- I'm not saying you're not credible.
- So he's paid?
- Yes, he was paid.
- Yeah, he paid me.
He was supposed to pay me.
He hasn't paid me a cent.
So, he's a paid stooge.
Stooge? What's that
supposed to mean?
- What's he talking about?
- Now, John, tell me, who is real and who is not?
You guys, you pissed
this creature off.
- What? We pissed this creature off?
- What?
He's probably chasing us because of
that stupid thing you put in the water.
Wait. What do you mean?
It's chasing us 'cause of that thing?
It probably thinks
it's prey.
- The plastic thing?
- Okay, whoa.
Now, hold it.
I think that's an interesting proposal.
I mean, why else
would it be chasing us?
Okay, that's just the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
- I can't believe you think--
- Maybe it's not that stupid.
Okay, you guys
are going crazy.
There's no other reason
why it would be after us.
Yeah, because
we are food or whatever.
[Sonar pinging]
Quickly, Kitana, Werner.
David: Then the sonar starts up again,
giving us this echo,
and, well, I was getting
quite freaky by that time.
I got everyone down below,
out of the road, you know.
I really thought
something was gonna happen.
Zak: There was a lot of tension down in that hold,
and it wasn't even
so much from the sonar.
It was how angry
we all were at each other.
I mean,
Werner was angry at me
and so was David,
and, actually, so was Kitana.
And Michael
was angry at Werner.
I mean,
everybody was kind of angry at each other.
Werner: As I was sitting there in the hull,
it dawned on me that
whatever film I had planned
had evaporated
and your film, John,
this study about my life,
had turned into, maybe,
some sort of a horror movie.
[Sonar pinging]
Kitana: There's something on the screen.
What's it doing?
[Sonar pinging rapidly]
[thumps]
David:
Give me that pump!
Get after that pump!
- Get out of my way!
- Go, go, go, go, go!
Come on, guys.
Go, go, go, go!
Lance! Oh, my God,
I got him. I got him!
Lance, it's Zak.
Listen, connect me to the Scottish Coast Guard.
- Loch Ness.
- Loch Ness.
I don't know the number.
Di-- Lance!
Aah. Aah!
Give me your phone.
Give me your phone.
All right. Here.
Uh, was this working before?
Were you getting reception?
Yeah, but the battery's
dead now.
- The battery's dead?
- Yeah.
- God damn it!
- Jesus!
That's my f*cking phone!
Robert:
What did you do that for?
- Step back. Step back.
- Whoa!
Jesus Christ, Werner.
Nobody's gonna come.
- Why's that?
- Everybody thinks it's a hoax.
It's all anyone talked about
in the bar last night.
We're sunk, gents.
That's it.
Michael,
we're not gonna make it.
Just shut up.
You're freaking me out.
- [Sonar pinging]
- Oh, God.
Robert:
Guys.
[Thuds]
John:
He's fallen in the water!
- Oh, God.
- David: Man overboard!
- Mike!
- Michael, over here!
You're swimming
the wrong way!
What is that?
Michael, it's heading towards you!
- Swim! Michael, swim!
- Swim away! Get away from it!
- Get away! Swim away!
- Michael!
Werner, let's throw
this thing in the water.
Okay. Throw it.
Throw it over there.
Kitana: Michael,
you're swimming the wrong way!
- I don't see him anymore.
- He went that way.
Kitana:
Michael!
Werner: Kitana,
he must be out there. Michael!
- I don't see him! Michael!
- Michael!
Kitana. Kitana. Where is Zak?
Have you seen him?
John:
I haven't seen him, Werner.
Kitana, I haven't seen Zak.
And where's Robert? Have you seen him?
I don't know.
I'll ask David.
- David! Have you seen Zak or Robert?
- No.
Life raft's gone.
Werner: I couldn't believe Zak stole the lifeboat.
I had only one thought
on my mind:
if I survive this,
I was gonna find Zak Penn,
and I would hunt him down and I would strangle him with my two hands.
[Sonar pinging rapidly]
[thuds]
- Jesus!
- Hold on. Hang on.
Just hold on.
Hold on.
David, David,
you are the captain of this ship.
Aye, sir, I'm the captain
of this ship
and I'm responsible for the lives on board this ship.
And I'm responsible
for these people.
- One of us should try to swim for shore.
- No, no, no.
Listen,
I've told you before,
the water is far too cold
at this time of year.
I've got one wet suit
on board.
I'm gonna put the wet suit on.
I'm gonna swim ashore.
I'm gonna put on
this wet suit
and I'm gonna swim.
And this is final.
John:
What is that?
Look.
Look out there.
Out in the water,
what is that?
Guys, I think
it's the life raft.
[Sonar pinging]
Help me get it into
the housing here.
- Gonna have to--
- I will do that.
My hands are shaking.
There we go. Okay.
All right.
Here, take my flashlight now
and help me guide it in.
- Okay.
- John, Matt.
- Yeah, David?
- I think you should come into the wheelhouse.
- It's gonna be really cold tonight.
- Okay, we'll be right in.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Just take it around this.
- This side here?
- Yeah.
Left side or right side?
John.
John, wake up.
John.
There's something
going on outside.
John:
What's going on?
- [Metal creaking]
- [wind whistling]
- John: Look at that.
- David: It's coming at us.
John:
David, watch out!
Look out!
David?
Are you all right, David?
David. David.
Is he okay?
- He has a pulse.
- Is he breathing?
- Yeah.
- David?
Where is John?
Where is Matt?
I don't know.
There's his camera.
Werner: I don't know exactly why I picked up the camera.
It was probably instinct
from years of making films.
There was nothing left to do
at that point but sh**t.
- Werner: How is David?
- He's still unconscious.
Watch out! Watch!
Watch out!
- Oh!
- I'll swim to shore.
- Hurry back.
- I'll make it. I'll swim to shore.
Werner: There was something in the water ahead of me
and I ducked beneath
the surface to film it.
It came right up to me.
It actually hit me.
Woman: Hey, Pete,
say something at the camera for Helen.
Hello, Helen.
How are you?
Happy birthday.
How's college going?
Your mama and I are here in Loch Ness,
just starting our holidays.
- The weather's beautiful.
- [Zak panting]
Don't stop there. Carry on.
Tell her how much we love her and miss her.
- Yeah, we send you our love and we hope to see you soon.
- Help! Please!
- Man: What's that?
- Please. Help.
- What's the matter down there?
- Help.
- What's the problem?
- There's been an accident.
Zak: You know,
I can't tell you that I saw what hit us,
but it was big.
I mean, it threw us
out of the raft.
I mean,
it was torn apart
and we just swam,
you know.
I started swimming
one direction
and Robert, I guess,
swam in the other.
- Just hold on and we'll get you out.
- Oh, God.
I don't know what happened
to him, you know.
I can't tell you that I know
whether he was attacked
or whether he just sank
or whether he died
of exposure,
you know, given that his body
never showed up.
I don't have the answer
to those questions,
but I do know
that I just kept swimming.
Woman:
Is he all right?
Would you shut
that camera off, please?
- Go that way.
- Woman: I'm trying.
Keep going. Keep going.
It's up this way.
Hey, you know what?
Can I borrow that camera?
Zak: Keep looking for them.
They should be up there.
- I don't see anything.
- There's a bunch of people in the water.
Over there.
I see them over there.
- Liz, give me a hand down here, quick.
- I'm here.
- Zak: Pull him up.
- I'm here.
- [Grunting]
- Come on.
I can't reach him.
Zak:
Is he okay?
Liz: He's unconscious,
but he's all right. He'll be fine.
Zak: Hey,
can you grab that yellow thing that's in the water?
Just hold this camera
for me.
Be working. Come on.
- [Beeps]
- There we go.
Oh, look at that.
He got it.
Liz: Hey, look,
there's more people out there.
Kitana: I remember the moment when the rescue boat pulled up,
and then there was Zak
filming me with a camera.
Zak: John, the camera's rolling.
You want to say something?
Get the hell
out of here, Zak.
Man: We believe that two people have lost their lives.
I don't know who
these people are.
That's not actually
my department.
And a couple of other people
are either injured
or traumatized,
a little bit hysterical,
so it's been very difficult to get any real information out of them
as to the causes
of this tragedy.
My feelings are that something
really went completely bad
and the accident
was created.
We have seen that before.
It has happened before several times.
I think it was obvious to both of us that we had been had,
and I-- I mean...
as far as I'm concerned,
we were had by Zak Penn.
The radio worked
at that particular time,
and all I know,
a couple of days later,
you know, it wasn't working.
I did go get the rescue boat.
I pulled all of you guys out of the water.
Well, I didn't
pull you out of the water,
but I supervised
the pulling out of the water
of every single person who was involved in that expedition.
I don't know
who is responsible
for the death
of Michael and Robert.
Those are tragedies.
Every time that there's even
a minor incident on this loch,
we get members of the public,
we get people from the press,
we get documentary television
people like yourselves.
It's absolute "pandelirium."
They're all asking
the same question.
There's one word
on everyone's lips,
and that one word is
"the Loch Ness monster."
Well, no, in this case,
it was just a tragic accident. That's all I can say.
Werner:
It was all lies, deceit,
and in some way this film was doomed from the beginning.
I think we shouldn't have even started the whole thing.
It's one of those films
that didn't want to be made.
To me, it seemed to be
like a stillborn child
that just didn't
want to come to life.
Zak: You know,
I'm a Hollywood screenwriter.
I wanted there
to be conflict.
I wanted there to be
excitement and adventure.
And I thought that
that had to be created.
And what I learned was I didn't need to do any of that stuff,
because what was happening to us was so much more interesting
than the things
that I was inventing.
And that's
what's so amazing
is how much cooler
the truth is than fiction.
Werner: Finding the monster was never my intention.
And so filming it
was strangely unfulfilling
and it left me questioning
not only this experience,
but many things
I've done before.
It made me wonder
what I've been after.
All this drama and pain
to capture a few moments
of light on a strip
of celluloid.
The truth did not seem
ecstatic.
It seemed vulgar
and pointless.
Zak: This is what we set out to do,
and we did it, you know?
I mean, it's pretty amazing.
It was an adventure.
It was epic.
It was-- I mean, honestly,
it was like something
out of a Werner Herzog film.
I don't regret any of it,
you know?
Was there a tragedy?
Of course there was.
I mean, people died,
you know.
That's always tragic,
but that's what happens
in any great adventure.
Think about stories from ancient Greece or, like,
a movie
or "Lord of the Rings"
or something.
I mean, someone always dies.
That's the way it works.
But, you know,
we achieved something.
I mean, some truth
was uncovered.
We dreamt something
incredible and made it real.
[Music playing]
Michael: The scientific community is very skeptical.
So what you want
to try to do
is hit as many bases
as possible.
Eyewitness accounts,
for instance,
would represent
one base.
You add photographs,
that's two bases.
If you can hit five or more bases,
you've got a home run.
Rarely happens.
Maybe it thinks we are smackerel of something--
a morsel,
a good tidbit, a bite.
I mean,
what else have we done that would make it chase us?
You look like a good bite,
but I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not a smackerel.
When I look back and I hear
people talk about what--
about suffering,
I say to myself,
"Who suffered more than I did?"
I mean,
other-- other than the people who died.
I mean, obviously,
they-- they suffered more because, well, they're dead.
But you could make the argument that they're dead,
so they're not really
dealing with it.
Whereas I live with the guilt
and I live with the sadness.
[Music continues]
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Incident at Loch Ness (2004)
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