02x02 - Storyteller

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[growls]

Well, this is quite the warm welcome.

[angels bickering] -[Dominion] Sera,
what do you plan on doing with this?

Nothing like this
has ever happened before.

We shouldn't be worried about this.
We should be making things right.

We need to make things right.
We need to go down and talk to Charlie.

What is the meaning of this, Sera?

You commanded an extermination of Hell,
and you kept it from us?

How long has this been going on?

This extermination has always been wrong!
We bear some of that responsibility.

Now the demons have managed
to k*ll the leader of our army?

What if Hell wants vengeance on us now?

Will the Morningstar return?

[stammering] What was it? I don't...
Adam? But dead?

Should be... I don't know, really.

[babbling]

A sinner has made it to Heaven?
How is this possible?

Was this redemption?

[Virtue] You told us souls were decided,
that nothing could change that.

We trusted your word
that this could never happen.

[Sera] It can't.

You, demon. How did you get here?

I, um... I-I-I don't...

How did you get here?

You had to have forced your way in.

Was it the Morningstar?
How did you get past the gate? Peter.

-Did you let him in?
-Uh...

I swear to the Speaker
I did not let him in.

Sera, he didn't force his way in.

We both saw it. He ascended.
He was redeemed...

Don't. Don't say it, Emily.
Please. We need...

[dramatic music playing]

We need answers.

We don't need answers, we need action.
He k*lled Adam.

That's an act of w*r.
We need to go down and...

Lute. Silence.

This is the room of the Speaker,
and I will use my voice.

With all due respect, Seraphim,
I was right about them.

Adam was right about them.
This demon filth is not to be trusted.

He and his kind should all be dead, and
I will make that happen. Just let me...

Hi. [chuckles] Can I cut in?

Uh, hi. Hello. Abel here, son of Adam.
Rest in peace.

Um, as much as I'd like to honor
my dearly departed dad,

I-I really just wanted to say...

Shut up, Abel.
Adam didn't even f*cking like you.

-[snickering]
-I know. [sighs]

But facts aside, I think it might be good
to stay on the subject

of this colorful snake thing.

Yeah, this is about Sir Pentious.

Fine.

Tell us.

How did you get here, demon?

[hisses]

[majestic music playing]

Sera, calm yourself.

[ethereal music playing]

My dear child, please tell us your story.

Uh, well... [chuckles] I-I don't, um...

I'm not much of a storyteller, you know,
and-and I don't, uh...

I don't know how I got here,

Miss... who are you?

I'm known as the Speaker of God.

Oh.

Now tell your story.

[shudders] Okay.

I...

My story...

Well, I was once an inventor

in London.

I was a hermit of sorts.

I didn't go out or socialize.

I didn't have friends.

I had my work and my machines.

But I had a tendency to watch things.

People in particular.

It gave me the illusion
I had people in my life,

and I was fascinated
by all these lives I could see.

-[couple laughs]
-[Pentious] And these moments

I witnessed...
some moments more private than others...

[gulps]

...I'm rather ashamed of it now.

[ethereal music playing]

Continue, my child.

[sighs]

But on that day I was watching a woman

wandering past my workshop,
a beautiful thing,

-young, so full of life.
-[woman laughs]

And then I saw...

[gasping]

[woman screaming]

[sinister music playing]

And I did nothing.

I knew who did it, and I did nothing.

He was a client, a man with power.

I could have...
I could have done something,

brought the man to justice, but I...

I didn't.

I don't know if it was fear
or apathy, but...

[crying] I... I...

That man went on to k*ll five more women.

Five more.

I still did nothing,
and he was never caught.

[crying]

I carried that guilt to my grave,
and I ended up in Hell.

And I deserved it.

[somber music playing]

So why are you here now, my child?

I don't know. My friends...

my friends were in danger.

Cherri was in danger.

I had to do something.

This time...

I would do something.

[majestic music playing]

He was redeemed.

Thank you for telling us
your story, my child.

No! You are not really buying this sh*t?

He was a spineless coward
who let people be m*rder*d,

but then he attempts a m*rder himself
and he wins a ticket to Heaven? Bullshit.

You acted selfless.

You cared more for the lives of others
than your own

and made the ultimate sacrifice.

You were able to atone.

You are a cleansed soul.

A free soul.

You have nothing left to fear here.

[ethereal music playing]

Thank you.

-Aw, cute.
-Good vibes.

It seems that this soul has atoned
for the sins of his life, his past.

He comes to us a soul who understands
and was willing to overcome.

Heaven welcomes you, Pendleton.

Oh, I don't use that name anymore.

You can call me Sir Pentious,
Your Highness.

Oh, I get it now. That is so clever.

Like a serpent. Adorable.

I cannot believe this.

Your Highness, I know you are wise.

Far beyond me,
but this beast came from the dark pit,

-sent by the princess of Hell herself.
-[gulps]

We cannot fall for his lies.

I sense no lies.

He was under the command
of the Morningstar,

the first fallen angel, and his daughter.

It was her who called for redemption

and then somehow found it
through the death of one of us.

-That cannot mean nothing to you.
-Or he was redeemed.

I... Sera.

Y-You know more than anyone here

how much Hell has tried
to gain power for an uprising.

-It's only a matter of time.
-[others murmuring]

Adam knew it, and now he's dead.

As head of Heaven's exorcist army, I...

As what?

-As head of...
-Um, hey, Lute.

Sorry to interrupt, but I think I'm
actually the new head of the exorcists.

-[chuckles] Sorry.
-What?!

Abel is Adam's son.

Plus we felt he'd handle
this situation more...

fairly.

But I was his right hand!

Yeesh, that's got to sting.

Shut up, Peter,
you're just a glorified mascot.

At least I wasn't just demoted.
Oh! [laughs] Get dunked on.

Your Majesty, please.

I cannot hold my tongue
when I have seen firsthand

the destruction
that demons have caused us,

the threat they pose.

I have lost so much. I have endured.

I am willing to give my life for Heaven,
to stop those filthy f*cking monsters.

Lute, this is a sign
that Charlie was right,

that redemption is possible.

Don't you dare.

What is wrong with all of you?

They hit us back, and we just p*ssy out?

We need to go down and...

Lute, enough.

You will not address the Speaker
like that.

Your Highness, you know why
you allowed the exterminations.

Because you knew Hell was a threat.

Now they know
they can bring down an archangel.

Now Heaven is in very real danger,
and you...

Lute, this changes things.

It changes nothing!

Some slimy f*ck tricks fate
into allowing him here, it means nothing!

I'm not that slimy.

It means everything, Lute.

This ends now.

There will not be any more blood
on my hands.

-But...
-It has been decided.

This Sir Pentious is here now,
and so he is a soul in our care.

-Emily, please take him, tend to him.
-Yes!

Abel, stand by, please,
for what our next action

will be regarding your father's death.

Yepperoni.

[lighthearted music playing]

I told you guys I didn't let him in.

I watch the gate, like, really well, okay?

We get it, Peter. Shut up.

[squeals] Come on, Penny,
I'm gonna make sure

-you have the best first day.
-h*-h*, whoa.

Well, this isn't really my first.
I've been here for...

-Let's go!
-[screams] Where are you taking me?

[laughs]

[dramatic music playing]

Please don't, Lute.

Please. You know I'm right, deep down.

Please, Seraphim,
I already spoke to Lilith. She...

-Lilith?
-Yes!

Please, I told her to go down
and stop her b*tch daughter...

-You had no authority.
-I...

You are no longer in charge,
and you will remain the lieutenant.

The decisions are mine
and mine alone to make.

Call off any of your plans
and report to Abel,

or it will be seen as treason.
Do you understand?

Yes.

Dismissed.

[suspenseful music playing]

[tranquil music playing]

[phone buzzing]

-[screams]
-So!

Sir Pentious,

I know you are new here
and you had a...

not-so-great first impression,
but I am determined

to make sure you have the best time.

It's kind of what I do here.

Tell me everything about yourself.

I, uh, well, uh, well, I, um...

Do you like sugar?
We have a lot of sugar here.

Well, um, I've never really tried...

Or kittens? Puppies? Koalas?

-Oh, I'm allergic.
-What about pangolins?

They are really cute.
Endangered on Earth but so cute.

We have, like, literally so many here, or
any animal you could want to cuddle with.

That's very nice, but, um...

-Emil-y? Is it? Emily?
-Yes. Emily.

-That's my name, yes.
-There is one thing I really want.

What is it? What is it?

Yes, um, I really just
want to see my friends.

I want to know that they're okay.

Oh. Oh, they are fine. I hope.

-B-But don't worry about it.
-Can I see them?

Oh, um, well... no.

I don't think you can.

You know, this... this doesn't happen.

That's why it's so special
and you're so special!

One of a kind.

Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I just mean...
there's nobody quite like you.

So I'm alone again?

No. No, I'm here for you.
And you'll love being in Heaven.

[♪ "Like You"]

♪ You're gonna make
so many new friends here ♪

♪ Potential amigos around every corner ♪

♪ No bullies or bums,
the chums are tens here ♪

♪ It'll be a breezy piece of cake
to form your ♪

♪ brand-new squad, crew or clique ♪

♪ If you want some buddies,
you'll have your pick ♪

♪ 'cause no one here is like you ♪

♪ Not one remotely like you ♪

♪ You've got mystique ♪

♪ You're strange and unique ♪

♪ You'll make pals come hither ♪

♪ with every hiss and slither ♪

♪ Everyone will like you
'cause no one here is like you ♪

♪ Scented candles, ponies,
marshmallow discotheques ♪

♪ Do you have enriched uranium? ♪

♪ No, but we got a unicorn polo stadium ♪

♪ Christmas rom-come all year long
at the multiplex ♪

-I'm in love with you, Santa Claus.
-[others] Five stars.

♪ And no one here's addicted to crack ♪

♪ I'll get back to my friends ♪

♪ once I gradate the voltage
and calibrate this lens ♪

♪ I will find a way ♪

♪ to quantize this frequency,
up drive the peak speed ♪

♪ so I can see them today ♪

-♪ No one here schemes like you ♪
-[Pentious] I'm coming, Cherri!

-♪ Sheds skin or blasphemes like you ♪
-I'll see you in Hell!

♪ In no time we shall
become your best pals ♪

-[screams] sh*t.
-Yeah, I forgot to mention,

you're not able to leave,
but look on the bright side.

♪ We'll have so much fun here,
from now till kingdom come here ♪

-♪ We literally will ♪
-No, no, no!

-♪ Have forever to chill ♪
-No! No...!

♪ You'll soon know us too well ♪

♪ since you can't go back to Hell ♪

♪ so wave your lonely days bye ♪

♪ you big weird lonely snake guy ♪

♪ Beagles, sprinkles, friendship,
guinea pigs, churros, pangolins ♪

♪ Everyone will like you
'cause no one here is like you ♪♪

-[party favor honks]
-[crying]

Oh... maybe that didn't help actually.

[Sera] Please forgive me, Speaker.

-I have sinned.
-Speak, my child.

I thought what I was doing
was right for our people,

but now...

now I'm faced with knowing it was all...

That this whole time those souls

could, with more faith in them...

be good, be changed. I...

Sera.

What have I done?

[♪ "Sera's Confession"]

♪ I don't know what to do ♪

♪ Thought I was righteously leading
our people, but ♪

♪ now I'm faced with the truth ♪

♪ What kind of leader
can't tell good from evil? ♪

♪ All those poor souls ♪

♪ How many could have been saved? ♪

♪ How could I trust in a justice
so cruel and depraved? ♪

♪ One seeks an answer ♪

♪ that one cannot grant her ♪

♪ You're looking for light
only you can ignite ♪

♪ Every transgression
must serve as a lesson ♪

♪ Yesterday you drew sorrow ♪

♪ What will you do tomorrow? ♪

♪ I feel no wiser ♪

♪ than when I commanded the slaughter
of those sons and daughters ♪

-♪ You can't hide ♪
-♪ How can I be sure I don't repeat ♪

♪ more m*ssacre
based on mistaken conceit? ♪

-♪ Look inside ♪
-♪ If I stand down and leave us exposed ♪

♪ would that be blind to the threat
Hell may pose? ♪

♪ You can't know, though time flows on ♪

♪ so you must bear the cross
bestowed upon you ♪

♪ Take pity, I pray, give me a sign ♪

♪ What's your guidance?
Please show me the way ♪

♪ You speak of choices
made by other voices ♪

-♪ You can only atone ♪
-♪ Tell me how to atone ♪

♪ once you speak with your own ♪

♪ If souls from damnation ♪

♪ can earn their salvation ♪

♪ and find their forgiveness on high ♪

♪ How do I? ♪

[screams]

[grunts]

[dramatic music playing]

[crying]

[screams, grunts]

[foreboding music playing]

Wow, someone's menstruating.

Adam?

You're alive?

Oh. [scoffs] No.

No, I'm in your head.

Guess you missed me that much, huh?
You crazy b*tch.

Nobody is listening to me.

What? Lame. Do they know that I, uh, died?

-They don't care.
-Well, that's some real bullshit.

-I know.
-Well, guess it's up to you, then.

Yes, sir.

It is.

Okay. We...

I have to decide what action
will be taken regarding

how much of a threat Hell could be now.

They know what they can do to us,

and many of them will be wanting
to take out their pain on us.

Lute was correct in that.

They have numbers
and no reason not to rise up against us,

but I just... I don't want more...
I need time

to think of what should be done.

We are ready and waiting, ma'am,
with our knives

and our helmets and, um,
some other pointy things.

Please try not to stress too much.
It'll-it'll hurt your tummy.

What do you think we should do,

Abel, as head of the army?

Oh, well, see,
I don't much like confrontation,

so I don't love the idea
of going down there for revenge

or anything, but they did sorta,

kinda k*ll my dad a little bit,
so... maybe?

I-I'm pretty okay
with either option, to be honest.

Okay. That doesn't help me.

St. Peter?

I just watch the door.

[sighs] Right. Of course.

Thank you both. You may go.

This is my decision to make.

Whatever choice you make, Your Highness,
Heaven will be behind you.

f*ck.

Nothing beats the sadness away
quite like saturated colors and sugar.

What are you doing?

Wow! You're really talented.

That's about the closest I've come
to my little Egg Boiz.

They all perished in the zeppelin.
Why aren't they here?

I don't think any of us know
how this works, Pentious.

We just know it worked for you.

Right, I'm "one of a kind."

I remember.

[upbeat music playing]

[straining]

[Pentious] Oh, my.

Is that...?

[majestic music playing]

Not quite the same as the ones you lost,

but maybe it's something

since you can't see your friends.

[screams] I love them!

[overlapping] Egg. Egg. Eggy.
Egg. Egg. Eggy. Eggy.

[sobbing] I'll tolerate them.

Thank you, Emily.

You also have
at least one friend here, Pen.

One super fun, silly, very cool friend.

Me! I'm talking about me.

Yes, I figured it was you, yes.

[ominous music playing]

[Lute growling]

[crying]

Hey, Miss Lute. Can I call you that?

Sorry to, uh, interrupt your, uh,
freaky in the dark time.

I was hoping to maybe get
one of my dad's old guitars, you know?

-To remember him by.
-Get out.

Sorry?

Get out!

Whoa! Right. Y-Yes. Uh, I'm leaving.
Sorry. I'm leaving. I'm out.

-You know, I never liked that kid.
-He's weak.

-Major p*ssy, not the good kind.
-And now

I have to answer to him.
He's nothing like you.

Ouch. Yeah, that f*cking sucks.

-I never got to tell you that...
-[scoffs]

You think I didn't already know?

-Did you?
-No f*cking idea.

If you don't know, I don't know, babe.

So... what you gonna do about it?

I'm going to k*ll every last one of them.

[♪ "Gravity"]

-♪ Sanctus ♪
-♪ Does no one know ♪

♪ who they're dealing with? ♪

♪ Think I'll let it go,
forget and forgive ♪

-♪ Dominus ♪
-♪ The rage in me ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ is terminal ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ There's no remedy ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ but to ♪

-[both] ♪ burn 'em all ♪
-♪ Ignis ♪

♪ I still got a job to do,
my mission's incomplete ♪

♪ Only a traitor could consider
making peace ♪

-♪ Vindictis ♪
-[both] ♪ The princess has to pay ♪

♪ for what she did that day ♪

-♪ for what she took away ♪
-[laughs]

[both] ♪ Storm's coming,
I can see the clouds ♪

♪ No running's gonna save you now ♪

♪ and hard rain is gonna fall down
like gravity, like gravity ♪

♪ Eye for an eye says you owe me a debt ♪

♪ Blood demands blood,
gonna get my hands wet ♪

[both] ♪ The flood's coming now,
you can bet on tragedy ♪

♪ like gravity ♪

♪ You think you're Hell's great savior ♪

♪ Will you still
when I return the favor? ♪

♪ Take the one you need,
make you watch 'em bleed ♪

♪ Will you break thinking
how you couldn't save her? ♪

♪ Wishing you were there
when they needed you ♪

♪ The only soul who's ever completed you ♪

♪ Maybe then you'll get
a little heated, too ♪

♪ and understand why
this is what I need to do ♪

♪ Storm's coming, I can see the clouds ♪

♪ Sanctus Dominus ♪

[both] ♪ No running's gonna save you now ♪

♪ and hard rain is gonna fall down ♪

♪ like gravity, like gravity ♪

-♪ Eye for an eye says ♪
-[both] ♪ you owe me a debt ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ Blood demands blood, gonna ♪

-♪ get my hands wet ♪
-♪ Get your hands wet ♪

[both] ♪ The flood's coming,
now you can bet on tragedy ♪

-♪ like gravity ♪
-♪ Dominus ♪♪

[panting]

[whimsical music playing]

No peeking.

You realize that
I'm covered in eyes, right?

But-but I can act shocked if you'd like.

Oh, right. Well, anyway...

Ta-da!

Oh, my. This is...

...a little creepy but perfect.

Thank you, Emily.

Welcome to Heaven, Sir Pentious.

[sighs]

[Sera over speakers] Attention,
citizens of Heaven.

Winners, angels, and all who reside.

Due to some recent concerns
over Hell's rising tensions,

it has been decided for everyone's safety

that Heaven will be closed off
from any other realms.

Incoming souls will be put
through security protocols,

but nobody gets in or out

without expressed permission.

This is for the good of Heaven

and will protect us all.

Thank you.

[majestic music playing]

[uneasy music playing]

Is this bad?

I don't totally know. I guess not?

Do you think Charlie should know?

Oh, my gosh! Charlie.
I should tell Charlie.

About you and this and everything.
B-Be right back.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Please, can I see my friends?

[sighs]

[melancholy music playing]

[Egg Boiz snore]

[crying]

[upbeat music playing]

[neighing]

[whip cracks]