01x03 - Poo Boy

[bunniefuu]

Mum took me to the ocean where the outfalls are.

Underwater tunnels carry my poo

two to four kilometres out to sea

and release it in a fine mist that mingles with the eastern currents.

They built them in the early '90s,

so you don't get poo on your surfboard.

Sounds like your mum is very thoughtful.

I know this was a loving gesture on her part

but part of me is now with the fishes.

Well, we are 90% water.

Part of the ocean, the universe.

I don't want bits of me everywhere.

What if they get lonely, or something eats them?

Your mum tells me you hide your poo.

Store it.

Why do you do that?

It's important to keep a history.

A history of what, Liam?

My existence.

Have you ever thought of your poo as waste,

something that is safer to get rid of?

Discard?

Yes, discard.

You have a very impressive vocabulary, Liam.

I know.

If you could keep your poo, what would you do with it?

Cherish it.

Have you always felt this way about your poo?

Time is still a concept I'm grappling with.

I see.

Were you worried about it when you were in nappies?

No.

Why?

Mum stored it in the bin.

I see.

You said that.

Uh, sorry.

Did you know poo has toxins in it?

- DO you know. - Yes.

What's a toxin?

Ah, a new word.

I like words.

Hmm, yes, I see.

You say that a lot.

A toxin is something that can make you sick.

My poo doesn't make me sick.

I don't eat it. I already told Mum that.

Well, when it's inside you, it can't hurt you.

But once it comes out and is exposed to the air,

the elements, its bacteria can be very harmful.

Have you ever seen a dog or cat bury their poo?

Yes.

Well, they instinctively know that they have to dispose of it.

Store it.

Yes, but they never go and dig it back up again.

They know exactly where it is.

So you'd be OK if you could bury your poo?

In my backyard?

- Yes. But... - Good.

The toilet takes it to a similar place.

The ocean isn't similar.

Um, tell me about Jim.

- He has colic. - Oh, poor thing.

He screams a lot.

I had it as a baby.

And you remember it?

Well, no.

Time you see, it's very tricky.

What's the first thing you remember?

The hot poo and the cold wipe.

And that's a good feeling?

Very good. I still enjoy it to this day.

But I miss the cold wipe.

Oh, you don't use wipes anymore?

Mum says they won't flush.

I'm still grappling with toilet paper.

It seems an unsaaaa...

- Unsatisfactory? - ..sanitary.

It's a new word. Number 5,012.

- You count the words? - Yep.

- Do you count your poo? - No.

Do you count other things?

Sometimes.

What other things do you count?

The hours.

[ALARM BEEPS]

How many is that for you?

Well, you were number three, so three.

I see.

How do you feel about Jim?

Time's up.

I think we can squeeze a few more minutes in.

- You'll lose them later. - It's OK.

You can't get them back.

I'll take them from my tea break.

How do you feel about your baby brother?

He exists.

Newborns require a lot of care.

I was hoping Dad would get him but I know that's not gonna happen.

I was hoping Dad would get him but I know that's not gonna happen.

- [PHONE RINGS] - Oh, sorry.

Hi, Sally.

Yeah, no, no, no, it's OK. I'm fine for another five.

Just...

Just tell him I've ducked out.

Thanks.

White lies can take you by surprise.

Um, you hoped that Dad would GET Jim?

In the divorce.

Oh, Mum didn't mention that.

She doesn't know.

Hang on, I thought this was confidential.

It is.

Did your dad speak to you about this?

No.

I saw him, with a lady.

He touched her hair.

Like he used to touch Mum's.

I'm hungry.

Me too.

Well, Liam, it has been a pleasure talking with you.

Has it?

Yes, I've really enjoyed our conversation.

That's good for you.

Bye, Liam, see you next time.

We'll see. It's tricky.

Don't worry, your cushions are safe today.

I owe you an apology.

Turns out, I can be a bit of an as*h*le sometimes.

I owe you an apology.

You should never be made to feel unsafe in here.

That's on me.

I pushed too hard.

I heard what you said.

Well, only afterwards, but I did.

I got it.

Got what?

You know, the sitting in the discomfort thing.

It's just not a very appealing idea, is it,

sitting in your own steaming pile of poo?

I just want to get to the bit where you say I am fixed

and everything will be OK.

Felix, you know I can't say that, right?

I just, I really miss them.

Who?

Hunter, Carla?

And Dad.

All of them.

Have you had the dream again?

And again and again.

Dad is under the rubble too, next to Hunter.

I'm not trying to save Hunter.

I'm trying to free what he's holding on to.

So, in the dream, they're dead.

Yes.

It's just a metaphor, Joanne.

I see-understood.

So, what's Hunter holding on to?

A record.

A record? Interesting.

That's new?

Mm.

Can you see what the record is?

No.

Are you into music, Felix?

I used to play Dad's records non-stop as a kid.

Ob-sessed.

Any favourites?

Hmm.

Cinnamon Girl.

I thought it was literally about a girl who sold

hot, cinnamon donuts.

I used to imagine that one day, we would run away

and live in a donut van and eat hot, cinnamon donuts

for the rest of our lives.

That's adorable.

Felix, describe Carla for me.

Being around her is like.

I don't know.

I feel like I'm hearing music,

like a really great song, like.

Cinnamon Girl?

Exactly. Oh.

So Carla is the Cinnamon Girl

and Hunter is holding on to the record.

Felix,

Carla isn't something to be possessed by you or Hunter.

Of course not, I know that.

OK, I just...

I just wondered if the Romeo in you is perhaps fixated

on the idea of this one, perfect woman.

Joanne, I've had like three other women chasing me.

I'm not desperate for options.

It's just that Carla,

she's something else.

Felix,

was Carla at the fire?

Not in the dream, but at the real fire.

She was the reason it happened.

Oh, you blame Carla for the fire?

No, God, no.

I mean, we were arguing about her.

We were having a boys night, lit ourselves a campfire

down by Dad's wood shed.

It was a perfect night,

until it wasn't.

Turns out, Hunter had news he was dying to tell me too.

He had already made a move on her.

I felt so stupid.

And I just lost it.

Zero to 100, just like that.

I was so humiliated and angry.

I wanted it to be my turn, my happy story.

How did the fire get so out of hand?

I don't know.

We were so busy shouting at each other that we weren't watching.

It just took a spark to land too close to the shed. And...

And, and now I have no one.

Dad is still refusing to speak to me.

Hunter is still ignoring me.

Hunter is still ignoring me.

And Carla is...

Your Cinnamon Girl.

All right, I know, I get it.

I've got a lot of homework to do.

[ALARM BEEPS]

Same time next week?

You can keep the bear.

Thank you.

I'm gonna call him...Joanne.

Well, Henry.

Why don't you tell me why you've come here today?

Oh, it's nothing all that serious really.

It's just that recently I've been having these nightmares.

Oh? What about?

It's silly.

I'm back at school and ah, the teacher ambushes us

with a maths test.

And you haven't studied?

It's such a cliche.

How often are you having these dreams?

Oh, sort of...

..Every night.

And in the dream you feel?

Nervous.

Like I'm gonna die.

Embarrassed.

Embarrassed because of the other students?

They laugh at you?

And call me names.

What kind of names?

Oh.

No Bones.

Dog Fiance.

Molly Ringworm.

Urine Salesman.

Eloise.

King Blam Blam.

You're not alone.

Anxiety dreams are very common.

The thing to remember is with practice it is possible

to steer our dreams, even control them.

Well, I'm afraid to go to sleep, so I'll try anything.

Anything?

Hope this isn't a math test.

I'm afraid it is.

Oh, dear.

Nothing to worry about.

I'll go easy on you.

Ah, let's see.

Three plus six.

Three plus six?

OK.

Sorry, this pen doesn't work.

What?

The pen doesn't work. Have you got another?

Three...plus six.

I won't say it again.

I can't write my answer. My pen...

Oh.

Show me your answer.

I haven't written anything yet.

Yes, you have. Let me see.

Joanne sucks?

What? No?

Are you Joanne?

I try to be.

- I think this might be one now. - One what?

- Nightmare. - [SOUNDS OF CHILDREN PLAYING]

I think I might be having a nightmare right now.

Three! Plus! Six!

Three...plus, that's...

[SOUNDS OF CHILDREN PLAYING]

Oh, no. The children.

FYI, I'm gonna k*ll you if you fail.

- Um... - [SHRIEKS]

Clothes back on, please!

What? Oh.

I'm sorry, I can't.

[MOCKS] I'm sorry, I can't.

[CACKLES]

Oh, my God, he's got a knife!

No, wait, it's...

Oh, wow, he stabbed me. Someone call the police!

I didn't mean to.

It's fine. I'm made of cans.

What?

See. Just cans. Mainly corn.

You can't smoke in here!

- Sorry. - [BEES BUZZ]

Do bees sleep?!

- I've gotta get to the hive! - Wait.

I have to finish. What to do.

I'm not stupid. I'm not.

Time's running out, Henry! You're about to get m*rder*d.

- I need more time, please. - No!

No Bones. Dog Fiance. King Blam Blam.

No Bones. Dog Fiance...

The thing to remember is, with practice, it is possible

to steer our dreams, even control them.

I...can control this.

Three...

plus six

is 10!

Well, Henry.

Why don't you tell me why you've come here today.

f*ck.

f*ck.