Terms and Conditions (2025)

[bunniefuu]

(no audio)

(rock music)

(rock music continues)

It's just so,

creepy.

Baby please, we're gonna

make millions doing this.

You're so sexy.

See?

She makes 500K a month.

Watch.

(rock music)

Nope, can't do that.

You don't gotta do that,

but I thought you loved me.

We need the money.

Okay.

How do we do this?

Start the show.

(rock music)

What are you doing?

Make it look sexy.

Take your boobs out or something.

Okay. Okay.

My boobs are coming out now.

Okay.

For all the world to see,

my boobs are coming out

now.

(rock music)

Daddy?

- Jenn?

- Oh yeah.

Who's your daddy?

No. Daddy.

Say something.

What the f*ck do I say to that?

Your dad?

I know.

Has he brought it up?

No, I haven't even seen

him in the two months since.

Did he make eye contact?

Maybe he doesn't know it was you.

That's not funny.

Webcam?

Weren't you afraid someone would see it

and think you were some kind of trollop?

No, 'cause it's not 1650 when

people use the word trollop.

Guy called me that a few weeks ago.

I thought it was a fun

word, so I'm using it more.

So you broke up with this unemployed creep?

Of course.

I don't know why I'm trying so hard.

Did you check 'em out

on Men's True Rater first?

What?

It's an app. I live

by it now, check it out.

Tired of wasting your

time on the kind of guy

that someone should have warned you about?

Your experience with that guy

was probably just like his last girlfriend.

Why didn't someone warn you?

Never waste your time

again with Men's True Rater,

where you can rate your date.

Men's True Rater comes with

a standard star rating system and comments.

But we offer so much more.

We've added tags,

scarlet letters for the cheaters,

red flags for the creepers,

just so you don't waste your time.

Try Men's True Rater today,

where you can rag out on your ex.

That's actually pretty cool.

This is your ex, right?

Oh my God, he's on there.

Flow, it says,

one star, has a weird left foot fetish.

That's totally him. This is amazing.

I wish I'd seen this before.

This could have saved me from so many guys.

Guys? Plural?

Yeah, Keri, it's been too

long since we last talked.

So many losers.

So let's enter them.

Capture this bullshit so other women

don't make the same mistakes.

Okay, I got one.

(upbeat music)

That was the best supper,

I had such a fun time.

Oh, me too.

I'm so glad we had a

chance to finally get together.

Did you want me to get us some wine?

That would be great.

You know, it's still light out.

Could we enjoy the rest

of this on the balcony?

(rock music)

(door closing)

Sydney?

(rock music)

Can you at least bring the wine?

One star.

Got it.

But seriously, who has

actual silver silverware?

It wasn't even real.

He literally stole my

department store cutlery.

Oh my God. (Laughing)

Oh Jenn, this is so much fun.

I've had some pretty bad ones too.

Remember Curtis?

The guy that called you

the Duchess of Clitoria?

It's way worse than just the nicknames.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay. All right.

So you're, you're

you're Aunt Jackie and

Uncle Darren's daughter?

You're that Keri?

(rock music)

Still not the worst part.

It's my wife.

You're married?

That is amazing.

We should not put that on the app.

In fact, you should never

share that with anyone.

That guy is everywhere.

Oh, that reminds me of another one.

(uptempo piano music)

I love movies.

Nothing better on a crappy evening

than settling in with a little popcorn

and a good tear-jerker.

Totally, I-(comedic music)

Everything okay?

(comedic music)

What's with that guy?

(comedic music)

What do you think he did?

Three stars.

How sad is it that the

felon gets three stars?

At least I'm not the only

one with shitty experiences.

This app is all about trauma bonding.

Did I tell you about my

embarrassment last summer?

Man, thought I had met the one.

(light music)

Excuse me, I am so sorry.

Are you in a hurry?

Actually, no.

Would you maybe want to grab a bite to eat?

Actually, yeah, I would.

Yeah?

Such a gentleman.

(upbeat music)

The waitress will be right with you.

He was the maitre d'.

Maybe we just need

to lower our expectations.

I just want a four star guy.

You mean five star?

Jesus, no.

Being with that kind of

perfect is anxiety-inducing.

I'm fine with being a four star girl.

Oh, that reminds me of another one.

(blues music)

You know, it's cool dating you

because you're not that intimidating.

You know, looks-wise.

So you want to head back

to my place for a night cap or?

Vomit is an automatic one star.

By the end of that date,

his ex came by the bar to pick him up

and they got back together.

That's brutal, but at least you were able

to palm him off on her.

Did you say palm him off?

Palm him off.

It's pawn.

Pawn him off.

That's stupid.

Who would buy a piece of sh*t like that?

Palm him off.

I'm pretty sure that

means something different.

And also reminds me of

another guy I hooked up with.

I'm amazed we haven't sworn off men

with the experiences we've had.

Gluttons for punishment, I guess.

That's actually why I'm here.

I'm meeting a new guy

and I thought your shop

would be a good safe space.

I've got a bat behind the counter.

If he's a creep to you,

you just order a tea and

Chiclets and I'll make it happen.

Maybe I'll like him. Who knows?

If I introduce you, can

you please not be mean?

Of course, until the moment

you order a tea and Chiclets,

I'll be so f*cking classy.

Thanks.

I'm kind of optimistic.

So that's when I knew I had to adopt her.

I had no choice.

That's amazing.

I've never known anyone who

rescued handicapped cats before.

[Jimmy] I have to do what I can

to be kind to my handicats.

That's really cool.

(acoustic guitar music)

So, what do you do?

I'm an importer-exporter.

It's boring.

Job comes with some perks

and you know the money's not bad.

So you race dirt bikes?

Not so much anymore.

We've been talking

about me this whole time.

I wanna know about you.

Well, this was just wonderful.

It was.

Unfortunately, I have to leave soon.

Oh,

yeah, no problem.

I, I just didn't expect to

get on with you so well.

No problem. I-

Unless, maybe you want to come with me.

My company, we imported

some of the set pieces

for the concert tonight.

I have to go make sure

everything's unloaded okay.

But, I have some backstage passes.

Maybe you want to come along.

The concert?

You mean the Drake

concert? Are you kidding?

I have a limo on the way.

I need to go talk to my friend first.

Oh my God.

I know. He's got five stars.

He's perfect.

And he has tickets to

the Drake concert tonight.

I'm gonna go with him.

Five stars aside, you just met the guy.

Are you sure?

He has a limo on the way.

I don't know.

How much can you know about the guy

only after a few hours?

He's hot. He's rich.

He has five stars, and he has

tickets to the Drake concert.

And I have an extra ticket.

Hey, why don't you come with us?

I completely respect you

wanting to make sure your friend's safe.

Why don't you tag along

and come see for yourself?

Ooh.

Let's do it.

What an adventure.

I've never seen him live. No, I can't wait.

Okay, and here we go.

(van running)

Give me a minute, okay?

(both speaking in foreign language)

What's going on? Where's the limo?

Hey,

it appears there was a

bit of a miscommunication.

(door sliding)

Oh my.

(driver speaking in foreign language)

Look ladies, I really gotta get moving.

It was wonderful meeting you both.

We're good.

Are we doing this?

Five stars says it all.

Let's do it.

Okay.

Hey, let me help you up.

(dark music)

I suddenly feel like we've

made a terrible mistake.

It's all good.

I think.

I mean, he seems so

nice, and a five star rating?

- I don't know.

- Come on.

What kind of m*rder*r takes

care of handicapped cats?

Oh my God. What did we do?

We're in the back of a cube van.

Holy sh*t, how did we let this happen?

I'm usually so careful.

Oh no.

He said he worked in imports-exports, like?

Like human trafficking?

What language were they speaking?

What country are they taking us to?

- Took our purses.

- And our phones.

Wait, wait.

I mean, there's a chance, right?

If he is taking stuff to a concert,

then it should be full

of concert stuff, right?

So if I open this up,

it should be filled with,

I don't know, beach ba*ls and,

and red cups or fireworks or,

or something concert-y, right?

Right, like a, a drum set or beer.

(dark music)

Three, two, one.

(both screaming)

- It's a dead girl.

- Not concert stuff.

They're gonna auction us off.

(both screaming)

No, we're not done yet.

When that door opens, you distract 'em.

What does that mean?

(dark music)

[Keri] The van is slowing down.

What do you want me to do?

Keri, your plan needs more specifics.

Now.

Tea and Chiclets, b*tch.

So yeah, that's the worst

date I've ever been on.

Oh, and the groupie who

stowed away in our cube van?

The dead girl?

Not dead.

Hammered.

(rock music)

Are you Drake?

(rock music)

Holy sh*t, man.

You win.

That's the worst date ever.

(no audio)

(funky music)

(door closing)

Jessica?

(upbeat music)

I'm leaving you.

Why is he here?

This is Doug, we're moving in together.

I know who he is, Jessica.

He's my personal trainer too.

Hey Mike.

What the f*ck, Doug?

Take your shirt off.

What is this supposed to be?

Do the thing.

Why are we doing this?

Guys, this is awkward.

Shut the f*ck up, Doug.

I'm taking half.

Good. Get out.

You just lost a client, Doug.

(upbeat music)

It's so lonely.

I don't even like rum.

Not even joking, she

took half of everything.

Even the cutlery.

We only had one set.

I got two knives, two forks, two spoons.

That must be why the

house feels so empty.

You got that right, kiddo.

I was just getting used to you being gone.

I was in shock when mom first told me.

I still think she'll change

her mind, eventually.

I don't think I want her back.

It's just so lonely.

You could get a dog.

Be high on allergy meds, 24/7.

I have an idea. I saw an ad for this app.

Are you looking for the

perfect long-term roommate?

Nothing is worse than a bad roomie.

What if they turn out to be an as*h*le?

Keeps you up all night or

worse, what if they won't leave?

That's where the Room-E-Ject app comes in.

Not only will we find you a roommate,

but if things don't work out,

all you have to do is

hit that eject button.

We'll take care of the rest.

That's the Room-E-Ject guarantee.

No hassle, no bullshit.

Room-E-Ject.

Installed.

Likes video games, pizza.

This guy seems normal enough. All right.

(upbeat music)

(doorbell ringing)

So that's basically how we got here.

Sorry man.

She sounds like a b*tch.

Pizza?

Oh man, I knew you were

the best roommate ever.

Figured we'd celebrate.

Maybe we'll watch a game after, too.

(upbeat music)

(roomie belching)

Hey man, you know what would be fun?

No, we can't smoke that in here.

Jessica would be so

pissed, she hates the smell.

Oh, you're soon to be ex-wife?

The one who like, stole

your forks or whatever?

(funky music)

(water bubbling)

Hey man, you know what would be fun?

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

I haven't had that

much fun since college.

(rock music)

(Mike urinating)

What the f*ck?

What the hell man?

(laughing) Oh, don't make such a big deal

about someone tracing

their p*nis on you're forehead.

What do you mean, tracing?

It's 7:30 in the morning!

The party is still going strong, baby!

[Mike] What is this?

What is this?

What, no one had claimed it yet.

Claimed it? It's mine.

Oh, that's convenient.

Why wasn't your name on it then?

You hear that?

Here what?

Probably just the mailman.

You call my parole f*cking officer?

Why do you have a parole officer?

So it was you!

(g*n c*ck)

What the hell is this?

Oh, you're on their side now.

Where are you, hiding?

(taser firing)

(rock music)

Good morning, sir.

I'm here on behalf of Room-E-Ject.

I assume that was the problematic roomie?

Yeah, they sent the police?

Room-E-Ject partners up

with local law enforcement

for ejection supervision.

Really? That was really fast.

Faster than 911. That's amazing.

Well, I'm patrolling the

neighborhood anyway,

so I'm never far away.

Plus Room-E-Ject bonuses

really incentivizes prompt response.

Hmm.

[Daughter] Oh my God, are you okay?

I'm fine. He's not.

It was nuts.

That is nuts.

But, it sounds like the app worked

the way it was supposed to.

You just picked the wrong guy.

Would you try it again?

(rock music)

(doorbell ringing)

Hi, I'm, I'm Mike.

I am Zanthos the Invincible.

And this is Tim.

[Mike] That's how we got here.

She sounds like a b*tch.

But, this is an acceptable lair.

Yeah, I think so.

Thanks for the puppet.

That is not a puppet.

That is an incarnation of my brethren,

who for thousands of years have been giving

power and magic to worthy

human hosts like the Mighty Tim.

(taser firing)

Oh, I appreciate you tasing the last guy,

but I didn't think I was in

any danger with this one.

Hey, standard operating procedure.

Room-E-Ject gives me a 50% bonus

every time I deploy my taser.

What? Seriously?

Every time I hit that button,

that's one step closer to my Porsche.

Go ahead, try it again.

(doorbell ringing)

So that's basically how we got here.

Wow. She sounds like a real b*tch.

Look, it's, it's been a long

day, I'm gonna head upstairs.

Make yourself comfortable.

(light music)

I'm sorry, I thought I

was clear about pets.

It's not a pet, it's a therapy chicken.

Right, but it is a chicken.

So look, I'm here because things

are a little complicated right now,

and what I don't need is my

new roomie stressing me out

and not respecting my space.

Hey everybody, it's me

and I'm trying out this

new app Room-E-Ject,

and let me tell you, so

far I'm not impressed.

In fact, my roommate is kind of a d*uche.

(taser firing)

(chicken squawking)

[Mike] Nope.

He'll definitely m*rder me in my sleep.

Oh, what the?

sh*t, sh*t, no, no, no.

No cancel button?

Huh? Wow, this should be interesting.

(doorbell ringing) (rock music)

Oh.

Hey roomie.

I just found my forever home.

(rock music)

Anyway, that's how we got here.

So we're not gonna be sharing a room?

What? No.

We can make bunk beds.

Knock down a wall, make one big room.

No, no. Separate bedrooms is best.

For now.

Do you wanna, do you wanna order a pizza?

Yeah.

Pizza's here. It's on the table.

I'll get us some drinks.

Oh, what are these?

These yours? What is it?

They're metabolic secretion containers.

Press jugs.

You can drink 'em if you run outta water.

(taser firing)

(rock music)

No...

(Mike laughing)

(rock music)

(doorbell ringing)

[Doug] Mike, man, I appreciate

for letting me crash here.

No worries, man. Thirsty?

I mean, especially after your wife and-

[Mike] No worries man.

[Doug] Dude, you're such a good guy.

(rock music)

[Mike] Oh, a woman, huh?

Why not?

(light music)

(doorbell ringing)

So that's, that's how we got here.

[Roomie] She sounds like a real b*tch.

You're welcome to anywhere in the house.

I'm usually just here in

the living room watching TV

or playing video games.

[Roomie] Really? I love gaming.

[Mike] Really? Why

don't we play sometime?

[Roomie] Why not right now?

Well, you're welcome to start.

I'm just gonna run out and

grab some beer for the weekend.

You didn't think I was just gonna move in

without a welcome gift did you?

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

This is awesome.

I think I'm really gonna like it here.

[Mike] Yeah, this has been a lot of fun.

[Roomie] Hey, do you mind if I'm nude?

[Mike] What?

Well, yeah, not in a

sexual way or anything,

it's just I'm a nudist in heart

and I feel more comfortable that way.

Would you mind?

No, no. Of course not.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

[Roomie] Okay.

Are, are you nervous?

[Mike] What?

[Roomie] You've died three

times in the last 30 seconds.

Does nudity make you nervous?

[Mike] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I know what we should do.

You should come to the next orgy with me.

- Orgy?

- Yeah.

It's something I like

to do from time to time,

it's very freeing.

[Mike] Yeah, I imagine it is.

There's one coming up in a couple weeks.

I can get you the details.

No, you are the best roommate.

Let me just get my phone.

No, no, no, no, what?

No, no.

[Roomie] What's wrong?

Give me a minute.

Yes.

Hello, I made a mistake with your app.

No, no, no, I need you to undo it.

No, the the guy comes

really fast around here.

Don't put me on hold.

No, no, no, no.

Still, no, no, no.

Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.

[Daughter] So, how

goes the roommate search?

Did anything end up working out?

[Mike] I tried a couple

more. Things didn't work out.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you think you'll try again?

You know what?

I think I'm just gonna be

by myself for right now,

and I'm okay with that.

Look, I gotta run. We'll talk soon, okay?

Take care Dad.

(light music)

Want to order a pizza?

(melancholy piano music)

I am so sorry.

Can you look at me?

I mean,

I really wish it didn't

have to be this way.

I wish it didn't have

to be this way, too.

I sincerely wish you

weren't screwing my sister.

Look like it, it, you don't understand.

It's not, it's not like that.

Hey, I'll never forget... No, you won't

because I'll be there

Christmas, Thanksgiving,

Sunday dinner at mom's,

because you're screwing my wh*re SISTER!

You need to calm down.

Calm down?

Is that why you brought me here?

So I wouldn't make to scene?

Did you really think I'd

stay calm when I found out

you were screwing "Becky the bike"?

Keri, stop recording.

It's fine, I've got a

whole collection of them.

[Jenn] This happens a lot?

[Keri] Actually, yeah.

That one was particularly meaty,

but the shop is a pretty

popular place for breakups.

You know, I'm not a fan

of text message breakups,

but after what we just saw...

We should make an app.

One where we break up with people for them.

Holy sh*t. They think of

everything, already exists.

No one likes to end a relationship.

But let's face it,

sometimes a relationship

has run its course.

Breaking up by text is impersonal and cold.

But what if your ex is nuts?

When a clean break is

best, there's Break-A-Date.

Just install the app,

put in your ex's details

and we will do the rest.

Our trained breakup professionals

will pick up your soon-to-be ex's sh*t,

deliver it right to their door,

along with the bad news.

But wait, there's more.

After that, it's gonna block

those MF-ers permanently

from all your social channels.

You'll never see them again.

Make it a clean break with Break-A-Date.

Pretty cool, but I'm single.

And last time I checked

you liked your new guy.

You can work for them.

It's gig work and you get

paid bounties for each gig.

It's good money.

[Jenn] Think of all the poor people

you'd have to break bad news to.

[Keri] Good money.

[Jenn] Oh wow.

One bounty is more than you make in a day

delivering food or people.

[Jenn] I guess I am broke.

We could do it together.

All right, Jenn, time to get paid.

(upbeat music)

(knocking on door)

[Keri] You signed up for break a date?

I did.

Here. He's impossible.

He just won't take the hint.

Well that's why you

called the nuclear option.

You want nuclear?

Tell him I'm screwing his brother.

Dave, not the hairy one.

Direct, to the point. Love her.

So where do we find this dude?

[Jenn] You don't even feel a little bad.

She was so harsh.

(light music)

(knocking on door)

[Tim] Can I help you?

[Jenn] Are you Tim?

There are some who call me Tim.

Okay, we are here from

an app called Break-A-Date.

What?

[Jenn] We were

contacted by your girlfriend.

[Tim] Is she okay?

Yeah yeah, she's doing, doing just fine.

Oh, thank God.

Oh,

what are you doing here?

Lisa is breaking up with you

and she f*cked your brother.

[Jenn] The hairy one.

Not, not the hairy one.

Sorry.

(light music)

She's okay then?

[Jenn] That was sad.

[Keri] Such a rush.

And we got paid, on to the next.

(upbeat music)

(knocking on door)

[Jenn] Hi, we are here from Break-A-Date.

Oh thank god.

Here, I don't ever wanna

see that crazy b*tch again.

- That's not nice.

- Well neither is she.

That's why I'm willing

to pay for this sh*t.

We good?

[Jenn] I don't like that guy.

[Keri] Look how much the bounty is.

(rock music)

Hi ladies. Cute dress.

[Keri] Thanks.

We're here to tell you

that your boyfriend Paul

is breaking up with you.

We're here to deliver your things.

I'm sorry.

I know it's tough.

I find it helps if I write

down my feelings.

Get your paw off me wh*re.

[Jenn] Sorry?

Don't tell me you haven't

been making a sl*t sandwich

with my slice of Asian beef.

[Keri] Whoa, slow your roll, lady.

I'll show you a lady, you trollop.

I am going to beat you into skank paste.

(rock music)

(car doors closing)

[Keri] Oh my God.

(rock music)

(car revving)

(tires squealing)

(rock music)

[Jenn] There was a squirrel.

[Keri] Go!

[Jenn] Is she gone?

Oh yeah.

[Jenn] Did she call you the trollop?

[Keri] I know, right?

We got paid the bounty on her.

That one was too

anxiety inducing. I'm done.

Come on, we got time for one more.

That Tony, the guy you're dating?

Yes. It sure as hell is.

And he took out a

bounty to break up with you.

[Keri] We're gonna find out.

[Jenn] Really, I mean, you

guys weren't dating that long,

and Tony's always kind of scared me.

Just wait till we find

him. I'll show you scary.

(cash register ringing)

So we're cool on the plan then?

[Jenn] Nothing about this plan

seems very cool if I'm being honest.

(doorbell ringing)

I am from Break-A-Date.

You wanted to break up with someone?

I already uploaded all her info.

I'll go grab her sh*t.

There's not much in here.

We weren't dating that long.

[Keri] But we were serious, Tony.

Come on.

This isn't the way the app said it worked.

Keri, what are you doing here?

Sucks to have to face

your ex like a man, doesn't it?

My ex?

We went out a few times.

I was gonna just text you,

but I figured you'd want your sh*t back.

So now my stuff is.

Don't be crazy.

We hardly know each other.

Why do you care so much?

Impersonal breakups like these hurt.

Like if I slept with your brother,

how would you like something like that?

First, not the same thing.

And I don't have a brother.

This is exactly what I mean,

we barely know each other.

Don't be crazy about this.

Would you stop calling me crazy?

Keri baby, why don't we

break down your feelings?

f*ck you and your journaling, Jenn.

You, you will break up with me to my face.

I just did.

And I don't need this.

I'm not feeling great. I

gotta take care of some sh*t.

You should go.

I'm sorry I said f*ck your journaling.

It was good advice. It is good advice.

Wait, he just, did he

just walk away from me?

He's not planning on coming

back to discuss this is he?

He can't treat me like this.

[Jenn] Maybe we should just go home.

[Keri] No, not until I get an apology.

Oh my God, Tony?

What?

(dramatic music)

He's dead.

[Jenn] What?

[Keri] I guess he's into a heroin.

[Jenn] You guess?

Did you know this guy at all?

[Keri] Apparently not.

[Jenn] Who are we gonna call?

As if a heroin habit wasn't

something you could mention.

[Jenn] We gotta call somebody.

[Keri] He's dead. What

good will calling anyone do?

[Jenn] I mean...

[Keri] I can't get

implicated in crazy drug sh*t.

I'm a local business owner.

We hit the no one home button on the app,

and that'll be our alibi, let's go.

[Jenn] No. Hey.

(dramatic music)

Keri!

(dramatic music continues)

Oh sh*t.

Find his phone. We

have to delete the footage.

(dramatic music)

Not in here. Go look out there.

Why do I gotta look in the dead guy room?

You can write your feelings about it

in your journal when we get home.

(dramatic music)

(Jenn screaming)

Holy sh*t, holy sh*t.

I'm gonna get toe herpes.

I'm gonna get toe herpes!

(dramatic music)

Found it.

sh*t, needs a fingerprint.

[Jenn] It has to be the correct finger.

Keri, I don't think he was into heroin,

I think he's just diabetic.

Oh my God.

He has a pulse, it's just weak.

He's alive, we have to help him.

The doctor app says he needs insulin.

One, two, three.

[Jenn] What was that?

[Keri] Insulin.

That's not how it works,

we have to call an ambulance.

(soft music)

[Keri] Sounds like he's gonna be okay.

Such a relief.

I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Jenn, I said I was sorry.

I think you're the sh*t, but,

I think we should take some time apart.

(somber music)

Did you actually bring me

here in case I freaked out?

I absolutely did that, yes.

We just have so much fun together.

Too much, too much fun.

We make bad decisions.

Starting to feel like I might

be the problem sometimes.

Explore that.

You know,

I think it's time we

expand our social circle.

I could just use someone

who's a little more

of a conversationalist, you know.

Traditional dating sites not your thing?

Ready for something different?

You'd rather be Master Dating.

Easy to use, the app pulls

in all your social channels

to create an authentic profile for you

and casts you in your best light.

g*y? Straight?

Everyone loves to Master Date!

All you have to do is

shake your phone, like this.

(light music)

Okay.

(upbeat music)

Can't settle for the

first one though, right?

Let's really get her going here.

(upbeat music)

Hello, beautiful.

(upbeat music)

Hey, you look really familiar.

Are you on mass-

Sorry, you just seem really familiar.

(upbeat music)

(tires squealing)

Well, best of luck on your date.

Thanks.

I'm actually pretty optimistic

for the first time in a long time.

Oh, I'm so glad.

I was worried that we wouldn't hit it off.

Me too, I mean, this

has been wild though.

I mean, we have so much in common.

You know,

I think I'd like to do more than just talk.

You could come by my place.

I could meet you in about an hour,

I'll text you the address.

I could just come with you.

I would rather, you know,

tidy up and get ready for you.

So, I'll text you instructions.

It's gonna be really fun.

(eerie music)

(eerie music continues)

Holy sh*t.

Oh, sorry man. You scared me.

Jesus, I scared you?

Oh yeah. I wasn't expecting it.

That's okay, they're still totally going.

What?

I mean you can totally get in there.

Here, I'll tag it.

Ha ha, ha ha, you're it.

(tense music)

Ryan?

So what?

We go on one date

and you think we're like

exclusive or something?

What?

Because that's some stalker sh*t.

I am not a stalker.

I asked you at dinner if you

were into open relationships.

I said no.

Which is why I couldn't

tell you about this.

If you hadn't have been 10 minutes early,

you wouldn't even known they were here.

Ew.

You're so selfish.

You're so selfish.

Holy sh*t.

Well, don't let it wreck you.

Try again.

- The app?

- For sure.

You said it was a great match

and you had fun at suppers, so why not?

What the hell are you

doing in the back of my car?

[Ryan] Oh, stop it.

Holy sh*t, I think I know that girl.

Oh, well, shake it again.

Find yourself a transient hoochie.

As in a horny homeless woman?

As in temporary, preferably with a home,

so you don't feel like such a

prick when you kick her out.

Just shake it again.

No, no, no, no. I think

I should go out with her.

- Who is she?

- Her name's Sophie Scott.

I've been in love with

her since high school.

And all I hear is, you're so selfish.

She didn't.

Not even a lie.

That's wild.

Yeah, I haven't had much

luck with women these days.

Well, I think your

luck is about to change.

You know,

I used to have the biggest crush on you.

Really?

(soft music)

Me too.

I'm glad you found me on that app.

It's nice to Master Date together.

Let's get outta here.

(upbeat music)

Yeah.

(Sophie laughing)

Hey, I'm gonna go freshen up.

[Ryan] Oh yeah,

ladies room down the hall.

[Sophie] Okay, I'll be right back.

(upbeat music)

[Ryan] Wish me luck.

Oh my God.

You look beautiful.

I've been looking forward

to this for a very long time.

But, you didn't tell me you had crabs.

He doesn't bite.

[Sophie] That makes one of us.

(upbeat music)

Mm.

(Sophie crying)

Oh my god, well I'm so sorry,

for whatever it was, just-

No, it's,

it's my ex, Paul.

We have this unresolved stuff.

Hey, you know I get that.

If you need time or whatever.

I don't need time.

I need snuggles.

Oh.

No, not us.

Snuggles is a cat, here.

See, that's Snuggles.

And that's that as*h*le, Paul.

That guy?

He's barely as big as you.

Tell you what?

I'm gonna go get him for you.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I'll call you an Uber.

So, oh, you're just

gonna wait at my place?

[Sophie] Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.

Oh yeah.

Okay, yeah.

I'm just gonna go change my clothes.

[Sophie] You're the best.

(upbeat jazz music)

(dark music)

You know this is f*cking nuts, right?

Yeah.

The things we do for love.

Nope, f*cking nuts.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music continues)

(knocking on door)

I'm here for the cat.

Cat?

Give me Snuggles.

There's no way I'm giving you Snuggles.

Sophie sent you, didn't she?

Listen, little guy.

I'm getting sick and

tired of your-(tense music)

The f*ck outta here.

I gotta work.

(door closing)

(Ryan groaning)

[Jenn] Nice moves, k*ller.

Ugh.

He's a ninja.

Ugh.

(door closing)

Maybe you should just go home now.

I can't. She's at my place.

I gotta get back to that restaurant.

Let's go.

(car running)

(Ryan grunting)

Sure you're clear with that?

Yeah, punch guy in the face.

I got it.

I'm an expert of my trade.

Good.

Hey Ryan, what's your, what's your email?

What for?

I don't know, just in

case we like stay in touch.

Or I could give you my Instagram.

Well, maybe after we...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(doors closing)

[Jenn] This night just

gets better and better.

(dramatic music)

(knocking on door)

Is he even home?

Did say he had to work.

What are you doing?

(dramatic music)

Hey, find the cat.

And then get the hell out of here.

(rock music)

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

(rock music)

(rock music continues)

Get in here.

(rock music)

(cat meowing)

What happened to it?

It's supposed to

look like that, hairless.

He looks like a rucksack with eyes.

I saw a porn that was like that once.

I'll send it to you once I get the link.

[Ryan] Friends don't

send each other porn, man.

That's weird.

His head's too small for its...

Ew, you're gonna touch it?

(zipper zipping)

Hey, watch this one,

what are you doing man?

What happens once you get the cat?

I give it to Sophie,

she gives me fellatio.

Yeah.

Well what about me?

I mean, I don't, you're

welcome to ask her I guess,

but do you even know her?

Or what about you and me?

I'm not gonna suck your d*ck, dude.

I don't care what you've heard about me.

No, but wait, we don't even

have each other's contacts.

Like,

I don't just punch people for money,

it's just, it's kind of like

my way of making friends.

You know what? Let

me just check my calendar.

Check the 12th, I got the 12th open.

What, are you sh1tting me?

(tense music)

[Puncher] Oh, you're kidding me.

Hide.

(tense music)

What are you doing?

- I'm hiding.

So where do you wanna

go when we hang out next.

Anywhere.

Like mini golf or something.

Sure.

(sniffing)

That's a nice shampoo you got there.

Shut up.

Floral tones to it.

Shut... (thumping)

My god.

Shh.

(rock music)

[Cop On Radio] Calling Officer Tran.

What?

[Cop On Radio] What was the important

thing that you needed to go back for?

You know I'm busy.

[Cop On Radio] You made

me drive with the lights on.

Did we really just stop at your house

so you can take a sh*t

in your fancy bathroom?

(Tran farting)

(grunting)

(rock music)

(grunting)

(slap)

You, you're that piece of

sh*t whose a*s I kicked earlier.

What the hell are you doing in my shower?

It's all a mistake.

You're not getting the f*cking cat.

I said whole thing was a little crazy.

And I'm gonna sh**t your crazy a*s.

He didn't even wipe

before he pulled up his pants.

That's what you're concerned about?

He was gonna sh**t you.

We have a mini golf date on the 12th.

You k*lled a cop.

No, he's okay.

Even if he's okay, he'll remember me.

I'll go to jail forever.

A guy with a head injury like that?

We gotta get outta here.

(car idling)

(doors closing)

(rock music)

(rock music continues)

(door closing)

(rock music continues)

Wow, I didn't think you'd pull it off.

Hi.

(cat meowing)

Sophie,

this whole experience has

made me realise a few things.

I don't think things are

gonna work out between us.

So you don't want that blow job?

(sentimental music)

(cat meowing)

(water splashing)

What? Your cat.

I never said it was my cat.

It's that as*h*le, Paul's.

And he will regret the day

he ever broke up with me.

No one likes a quitter, right?

What do you say?

One more time?

(flamenco guitar music)

Of course.

Why did I not see?

(upbeat jazz music)

Jenn, I've been so blind.

I can't believe it took this

stupid app, but we matched.

So let's go on a master date together.

So I mean like, no.

Like zero chance man.

Oh,

you're a l*sbian?

What? No.

Last week I met you going to an orgy.

You tried to pick a fight,

break into a guy's house.

You stole his cat.

You have an ex so crazy,

she threw it off a bridge.

No, it was, it was not my finest hour.

You are wearing a suit made of red flags.

I would never ever date you.

But I was live tweeting the whole thing,

and I got like 80,000 new followers.

So, thanks, I guess.

(car starting)

Don't forget to gimme four stars.

(comedic music)

[Bruce] Hey Roomie.

Hey bro.

Feeling better?

(Snuggles meowing and purring)

I think I am.

(bright piano music)

Thinking about playing

some mini golf later.

(bright piano music)

You sure you don't want

me to send you that porn?

Still no.

(upbeat music)

(doors closing)

So, I looked at him for a moment

and then down at my cute

little ankle shoes and said,

"Thanks, they're new.

I almost got the gold ones."

He made a face, but I kept walking,

feeling pretty good about my fashion sense,

until I realized he didn't say nice boots.

(both laughing)

Ugh.

Keri, I always have such

a great time with you.

Thank you for thinking of me tonight.

Jenn, there's no way I was gonna let you

spend your birthday alone.

(phone buzzing)

Come quick. expl*sive emergency.

Can't say more over text.

Sorry?

It's my mom. I don't know what it means.

She's been so weird since the separation.

No problem.

Why don't we pop in and check on her?

Thanks.

(car starting)

(upbeat music)

Hello?

Mom?

What was this expl*sive emergency?

You know if you need me

to get you tampons again,

you can just say that in a text.

Hello?

Mom?

Surprise!

Oh my God.

Sorry, your mom made me do it.

I wanted to surprise you

for your birthday, sweetie.

Thanks so much for

inviting us, Mrs. Campbell.

I love your new place.

Thanks.

I've had the bachelorette

pad for a few months now.

I haven't had a chance to

party so I thought it was time.

(blowing party buzzer)

I'm sorry.

I know you were looking forward to clubbing

and meeting some guys tonight.

Your mom called me and I couldn't say no.

I don't mind hanging out with my mom.

I just feel bad that she

roped all of you into this.

I'm just glad to be out of the house.

Why don't we spice it up a little?

Look, I found this party app.

What's a party app?

Hey bud, I'm here to

ask you a tough question.

Have you just turned into

a complete f*cking loser?

Is your social life on life support?

Do you wanna throw a party

but you're pretty sure

it's gonna be lame as hell?

It's time for you to turn things around.

Turn your boring nights

into legendary ragers

that are so intense

everybody at them needs to sign an NDA.

And I know just how to do it.

With the Shaker Maker app,

you are going to be throwing ragers

that will make you a legend forever.

But wait, there's more.

With the latest in AI technology,

your ragers are gonna be action-packed.

The good times will not stop

rolling and neither will you.

Shaker Maker parties are

always worth remembering,

if you can. (Laughing)

Right on.

That sounds terrible.

The place gets loud, the floors get sticky.

Come on. It'll be fun.

We'll have some more wine.

Here we go.

[Voice On Phone]

Shaker Maker party planned.

What does that even mean?

[Voice On Phone] Time for truth or dare.

Ooh, fun.

The app's installed on my phone too now.

Mine too.

What is this?

Can it even do that?

[Voice On Phone]

Player one, truth or dare?

Dare?

[Voice On Phone] Read

out the last dirty text you sent.

I don't send dirty texts.

(app buzzing)

[Voice On Phone] You sent,

"I know you ate dinner.

It's time for dessert."

(partiers laughing)

I don't wanna hear anymore.

Wait, it can read your texts?

[Voice On Phone] Truth or dare?

I think it's fun. Dare.

[Voice On Phone] Show

the least flattering picture

on your phone.

Okay. Asleep, and I have

a cheese puff in my nose.

I love that nothing embarrasses you.

Your autism is like a

superpower in this game.

[Voice On Phone] Truth or dare?

Nope, this app is

not at all what I thought.

I'm not playing, no cheese

puff nose picture for me.

[Voice On Phone] All

contestants must play.

Bullshit.

[Voice On Phone] Auto selecting, truth.

Have you ever filmed a sex tape?

I'm not answering that.

(app buzzing)

[Voice On Phone] Incorrect.

(phones buzzing)

Woo.

Damn, look at you go.

Keri?

(Keri gasping)

Who is the gentleman with the giant?

[Partier] You must

work on your cardio a lot.

Don't watch it.

What the hell? That video

isn't even on my phone.

[Voice On Phone] The video is from

your ex-boyfriend Tony's phone.

Tony?

Like marathon training.

What the hell kind of app is this?

Hello?

Can I help you?

Oh, I'm your bartender for this evening.

(upbeat music)

Woo.

More wine.

Right on.

No, not right on.

We never ordered any of this.

(door closing)

Jessica.

This is Karen, my hairdresser.

Thanks for inviting me.

It's inviting people from

our contact lists, now?

What the hell?

The more the merrier, come on.

Sorry, how much is this all costing?

Already paid for, booze is covered too.

Oh, there's money missing

from my bank account.

Me too.

So this is how it's

paying for everything?

Can it, can it do that?

Did you read the conditions

before you clicked accept?

No, of course I didn't.

I've never read them.

No one has ever read them.

Well, what do we do now?

[Voice On Phone] Time for shots.

Shots? I don't like shots.

Can I skip?

[Voice On Phone] All

contestants must play.

What happens if we don't?

[Voice On Phone] Your

phone will electrocute you.

(all laughing)

Well then we'd better listen.

Come on everybody, let's line up for shots.

Let's go.

She's right. Let's have some fun.

[Voice On Phone]

Talk in a Canadian accent

for the rest of the night.

Is that app listening to us?

How does this know I have the accent?

[Voice On Phone] Starting now.

How does it know I have an accent?

(all laughing)

What did you want for your birthday?

She wants a man.

(all laughing)

Still feel bad about c*ck-blocking

that Jimmy guy on you.

So you can be a little overprotective.

(upbeat music)

I love vodka.

(all cheering)

Why is your, I mean, why

is your creepy cousin here?

I don't know.

Since when are you a DJ?

I told you I was a musician.

I thought you said magician.

I think I need to get my ears checked.

Look, regardless of which

humiliating career you picked,

no one hired you to be here.

[Voice On Phone] Shaker

Maker. Time to bump it up a notch.

I'm so stoked.

(pop music)

Got my fingers on the pulse

Avocado and toast

Leather seats, jet plane

Always ready to go go

Catch a suntan on the roof of the yacht

Penthouse elevator

take us up to the top

In my suede jacket

Always bringing the magic

I got the top pulled down

In my automatic

You know my everyday life

May sound dramatic

But when you got it like this

Gotta make it a habit

Oh my God, it's him.

(upbeat music)

He's cute.

Who is that?

Oh, it's the equipment rental guy.

That Jimmy guy she doesn't shut up about.

You should go talk to him.

He probably thinks we're

both crazy, but I'm gonna do it.

Big boost to my confidence

Turn the attitude up to 100%

Big shot go off

Yeah I'm at it again

Hey.

Hey.

I didn't know where you lived here.

I don't, it's my mom's place.

Okay.

I was hoping we'd get a

chance to, to meet again.

I feel like things just got so confused

and we just really missed

our chance to connect.

There was definitely a connection.

[Voice On Phone] Final

player. Truth or dare?

No, sorry. Let me just delete this.

[Voice On Phone] Auto selecting, truth.

What's the most

embarrassing thing you've ever

searched for on the internet?

No.

[Voice On Phone] All

contestants must play.

Okay, fine, fine.

Can a human and a dolphin

make a mermaid baby?

(app buzzing)

[Voice On Phone] Incorrect.

You searched for how many

calories does farting burn?

(DJ farting)

So, how many does it burn?

None, even if you really force one out.

(all laughing)

You're funny. I love it.

I gotta take off right

away, I'm wrapping up,

but maybe we could talk.

Yeah.

Cool.

Could he?

- Hey.

Hands up.

There have been some complaints of you

being too sexy!

(all laughing)

Not a real cop?

Oh, I'm a real cop.

I'm just moonlighting

'cause this pays way

better than the cop thing.

Interesting night.

But it's cool that you and

Jimmy got to connect again.

When did we connect?

We haven't even spoken.

Now he says he has to leave.

I got this.

(funky music)

(partiers hooting)

(funky music)

- Hey buddy.

- Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy] Hey, can I

have one of those please?

You know her?

(partiers screaming)

Yeah, we went on a date.

Didn't work out.

Yeah, well I totally nailed

her friend, the redhead.

Stop telling people that. We're cousins.

Stop telling people that.

I'm gonna go.

Don't, don't you wanna talk to her?

Well she's obviously busy

and I've got some more

stops to make tonight,

so I'll see you later.

(partiers hooting)

(funky music)

(partiers screaming)

[Voice On Phone] Time for shots.

(partiers talking)

No,

I'm not letting him leave.

Jenn wait, it's shot time.

I'm not letting him go.

[Voice On Phone] All

contestants must play.

Time for shots.

Three, two, one.

What the f*ck was that?

What a shitty birthday,

and now Jimmy's gone.

Oh, he's not gone.

- He said he was leaving.

- He'll be back.

Hi.

So somebody slashed my tires.

So I guess I'm not going anywhere.

I love your crazy a*s,

thanks for the great birthday.

Don't call me crazy. (Laughing)

I'm sorry. It's a bad neighborhood.

(sentimental music)

Yeah, just as well, I guess.

I didn't really wanna work anymore tonight.

So should we pick up where we left off?

Yeah, I'd like that.

[Voice On Phone] Time for shots.

This app's so aggressive about shots.

I'll be right there.

So you know what'd be cool?

What about a three-way with

that crazy redhead over there?

Oh wait, you know, actually,

I've kind of always had like

this mom-daughter fantasy.

Yeah, why don't you just

put your info on my phone.

Excellent.

[Voice On Phone] Three, two, one.

Ow! Jesus!

(upbeat music)

Thanks again for a great birthday.

I'm sorry Jimmy turned

out to be such a creep.

I'm just glad he didn't press charges

when he pissed his pants.

(laughing) You'll find

Mr. Right eventually.

Oh, what if he doesn't live here?

Maybe we should go on a trip.

I know a great travel app.

I told you the floors would get sticky.

Go go

(soft jazz music)

Yeah, the police made

me quit all of my side gigs.

You know they have rules

about everything, those guys.

There she is.

(light jazz music)

So you gonna talk to her

or are you gonna b*tch out again?

I'm gonna do it.

Gonna do it.

(light jazz music)

I can't watch this.

Hi.

Mike.

Pardon me, but I don't

generally stop women in the park,

but I saw you and I couldn't help myself.

Is that an Australian accent?

It is, straight outta the outback.

I saw you and I thought to myself,

there's a beautiful Sheila?

I'd better go.

(light music)

But why an Australian accent?

I don't know.

Kind of nervous, and it just came out.

Dad, I'm so sorry it didn't work out,

but I'm glad you're getting back out there.

You're okay with me dating new women?

Yeah, of course. I

mean, mom's been dating.

She has?

Jessica?

Oh yeah.

Like nonstop.

Well, I'm not.

I get nervous and I don't know what to say.

I guess it is harder for guys.

All we have to do is just

mumble a couple of words

and try not to fart.

Even then.

It doesn't work that way for men.

Especially not introverts like me.

I have an idea.

Welcome to Mansplain-2-Me.

Just ask a question

and this app will tell

you exactly how it is.

Or don't ask anything at all,

and it will randomly correct you

on things you didn't even ask about.

Just so you know,

mansplaining means a man explaining things.

I had to change a tire the other day.

Same company, different app.

Hey, social disasters.

Yeah, I'm talking to you,

the one who sounds like a moron

every time he tries to chat up the ladies.

Have no fear, -Wingman-is here.

The world's first AR AI-powered wing man.

Step one, get your hands

on our patented AR goggles.

Step two, slap those bad boys on your face.

Our sophisticated AI

uses facial recognition

to deep dive into her social media

and finds out what makes her tick.

Creepy? A little, but it works.

Wingman-feeds you the perfect lines

and all your dumb-a*s needs

to do is read them out loud.

Because why work on yourself,

or become an interesting person

when AI can do that for you?

Find the girl of your dreams,

and then trick her with -Wingman-.

Okay.

Ordered.

(doorbell ringing)

(electronic beeping)

(ambient music)

Kind of cool looking.

Let's go try it out.

(upbeat Latin music)

(dog barking)

Nice day for a walk.

It is, yeah.

I've been looking for a nice day

to get Murphy out of the house, so.

I used to love taking

my chihuahua for a walk.

Tinkerbell.

Oh, you have a chihuahua?

I used to.

She was my whole world.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Honestly, I don't know what

I'd do without my Murphy.

(upbeat music)

Maybe would you wanna

come on a walk sometime

with Murphy and I?

That'd be great.

Okay.

(upbeat band music)

Worked.

Oh sh*t.

To hell with speak from the

heart, that's terrible advice.

Just say what the glasses tell you.

It's amazing.

I don't love that

they're telling you to lie,

but I'm glad they've given

you some confidence.

Now I just need to find

some women to try it out with.

Well, you should come

to speed dating tonight.

Oh, that'd be fun, you'd do great.

Yeah, we host it right here at the shop

and it doesn't start till six,

so that leaves you time to go home

and change into your Sunday vest.

You don't think that's

what that phrase is, do you?

Who even owns a vest?

I do. Sounds like a great plan.

See you at six.

(crowd talking)

Hey ladies.

Look at you.

We're about to start.

You're just in time.

Go grab a table.

All right everyone, when I ring this bell,

ladies move on to your

next date, and men stay put.

(bell ringing)

Hi Mike.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Oh Abby, great name.

Sorry I was late.

I'm a little off my game.

I missed my usual reiki appointment.

Oh my God.

You go to reiki?

Reiki, yeah.

I do. Doesn't everyone?

Oh my God.

I am a certified reiki practitioner.

Level two, two and a

half, basically level three.

Well, maybe sometime I

could get a treatment from you.

Help me realign.

Oh my God, that is such a good idea.

It works so good.

Seriously, I don't even know what reiki is.

It's amazing.

(bell ringing)

Wow, this is so much fun.

Have you done anything like this before?

Cut the sh*t.

What did you just say?

You heard me.

But you didn't come here to chitchat.

You came here to find a

man, and you found him.

In fact, why don't you

take off that name tag,

put your info into my

phone and tonight I'll prove it.

You know nothing about me.

You can tell me more in the morning.

(upbeat music)

(bell ringing)

Oh,

baby, I don't know if I got enough rizz

to keep up with you.

What was that?

All the other women here are so mid,

but baby, you're gorge.

You're a bad one. No cap.

How old are you?

Age is just a number.

Ew.

Only really old dudes say sh*t like that.

Okay, so there are some limitations.

Good, she's even younger than me.

Come on, she's young but she's not

Chris Hansen in the kitchen young.

You are doing fine with the other women.

A lot better than some of these other men

from what I can see.

Not like crabs, like no,

it's one crab. It's a pet.

What kind of a psychopath

keeps a crab as a pet.

It's not a liquid.

That was my whole point.

A Frozen case of beer

in my carry-on is a solid,

so as long as it fits in that little rack,

those security guys should just shut their

mall cop mouths about it.

No, it is not magic.

Reiki is ancient Asian medicine.

Hi.

No.

(bell ringing)

Hello, beautiful.

Hey handsome.

[Mike] So what do you like to do?

Great question.

I,

I make a lot of content.

Oh, like dances

or, or TikToks?

More fetish stuff.

[Mike] Oh.

Private content, you know.

[Mike] Oh.

What?

- Oh.

- No.

- Oh.

- No.

(upbeat music)

[Mike] What? No, like.

The old man's having a stroke.

It's okay!

I know reiki!

Apparently there's a paid version.

I was using the free one. Ads.

We're almost out of time.

Go try again.

Your perfect woman could be out there.

(bell ringing)

Jessica?

I was not expecting to see you here.

What are the chances

of running into your ex

at speed dating?

How've you been?

You know, I'm surviving.

You know, I miss you.

Mike, I messed up.

I, I f*cked up.

You.

You didn't f*ck up.

You f*cked Doug, our personal trainer.

And it sucked, Jessica.

It was really hard to find

another personal trainer.

I don't wanna feel shitty

about this anymore.

The best way to feel better about it

is to have sex with her

like a bunch of times.

And her, and her at least once.

But you? No.

That ship has sailed, and

you probably f*cked Doug on it.

Them? Have at it.

What, you don't think I

can pull chicks like that?

I don't think you can

get away with that phrase.

Watch this.

It's not a pyramid scheme,

it's multi-level marketing.

Hey baby, why are you wasting your time

with a d*uche like this,

when you know you're coming home with me.

What the f*ck, Mike?

Is that right?

(electronic beeping)

sh*t. sh*t.

sh*t.

Well what's a nice Sheila like you

doing in a place like this?

You're funny. You wanna get outta here?

Yeah. Yeah.

(upbeat music)

Oh yeah, this is amazing.

Are you ready?

Absolutely.

Take off your clothes.

Here? In the parking lot?

That's crazy, my ex-wife is in there.

What if she comes out here and catches us?

Laughing Absolutely, I'm in.

You, you gonna, you know, take off yours?

Gimme your wallet.

Leave your clothes, and

get f*ck the outta my car.

Or, or... Or I will

sh**t you in your face.

Okay.

Okay.

(upbeat music)

Can you send the police please?

The old man has his old ba*ls out.

(upbeat music)

(light jazz music)

Hey, hey. You actually

gonna talk to her again?

Nope.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

Got my fingers on the pulse

Avocado and toast

Leather seats jet plane

Always ready to go go

Catch a suntan on the roof of the yacht

A penthouse elevator

take us up to the top

In my suede jacket

Always bringing the magic

I got the top pulled down

In my automatic

You know my everyday life

May sound dramatic

But when you got it like this

Gotta make it a habit

Can't stop

Loving what I got

Oh yeah

It hits the spot

I'm feeling myself

Big boost to my confidence

Turned the attitude up to 100%

Big shot go off

Yeah I'm at it again

In my suede jacket

Always bringing the magic

I got the top pulled down

In my automatic

You know my everyday life

May sound dramatic

But when you got it like this

Gotta make it a habit

Can't stop

Loving what I got

Oh yeah

It hits the spot

I'm feeling myself

Go go go