Reporting for duty, sir.
Hut, hut, hut, hut!
Well, she said
she was fine earlier,
but now she's journaling
and she's probably not
hearing anything I'm saying.
But I don't know if I buy it.
You know that.
Yeah, I've been pretty
spacey today, haven't I?
A little bit.
You okay?
What's going on?
Probably being dramatic,
but I, I had this moment with
dad this morning and just...
What do you mean, what happened?
I just... It was like,
he wasn't really there.
He kept
repeating information and--
- Oh, a little stammering and--
- Yeah.
- Telling the story again.
- Over and over and I--
I know, I've noticed it.
I've noticed it. I know.
I just... And then I see
how much Chaz looks up to him.
I know.
And, you know, I love
that they're playing together.
And the army men thing
is just--
And, and you, look,
he's proud of what he did.
He served his country well,
he won all those medals.
They're all on the wall
and they're there for a reason,
because, you know, that was
before people got medals
for just showing up.
It's important to him,
so maybe that's good.
I, you know, I've also read
that you're supposed
to just let him go.
Don't, you know, don't try
to correct him or anything.
So we'll just see where it goes.
It all like filters
back to, like, mom
and losing her
all suddenly.
- Honey, I can't--
- I know, I know.
I know.
- It's okay.
- I can't.
I can't go through that again.
- I know.
- And I don't want...
I don't want Chaz having
to go through that.
- I know.
- And the grief
is something you carry
for so long and he's so young.
And I...
Not having my mom here
to help me through that,
raising our son.
I know, but we got
through that, and how?
The same way this family
gets through everything.
We give it to God,
we pray, we trust.
He's doing good,
we're doing good.
They're having fun.
And hey, look, work is
finally slowing down
so I can be here.
I can be here this next week.
I'll take some of the burden
off of you.
- Oh, don't make me feel guilty.
- You are doing so much.
- No, I--
- No, you're doing so much.
You've got your...
You've got a spa day.
- I don't know.
- You gotta get your nails done.
- I should cancel it.
- No.
Honey, look,
don't do that, okay?
Take your day, okay?
Let me...
Let me do this for you, please.
I will take care of the boys,
you take care of your nails.
- In fact, let's start...
- Oh, my goodness.
- This is just silly.
- No, let's start
your spa day early.
I will prepare
a little plate of chocolate
for my lady...
and a spot of tea.
- Yes, oh!
- You know how to win me off.
Yes, that's right, you know.
And you like the British accent
as well, don't you?
- I do.
- I'm going to talk like this
the rest of the night.
- Ooh!
- But, for now,
I'm going to make you
a spot of tea.
- All right, okay, stay there.
- Please,
but make sure it's chamomile.
- Chamomile.
- Yeah, no caffeine.
No, never.
Breakfast will be
on the set, guys.
- Okay, thanks, hon.
- Yep.
So, big man, what do
you got planned today?
Well, I was thinking
about going down
to The Roast today at noon
to have one
of their classic hot dogs
and root beer floats.
That's what I was gonna say.
Hey, great minds
think alike, my man.
I love that you are
talking about lunch
when we haven't
even had breakfast yet.
Sweetheart, we're guys.
- That's what we do.
- Oh, my God.
While you're busy
getting your nails done,
we'll be being guys,
having hot dogs
and root beer floats, huh?
Woo, woo, woo,
woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!
Now I feel
like I'm gonna miss out.
You are.
Well, I'm sure you're going
to enjoy
that beautiful
manicure of yours.
You know me well, because
I will thoroughly enjoy it.
Ah. All right.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Hey, how are you doing?
Good, how are you?
Yeah, hanging in there.
How are you doing?
- It's been too long.
- I know.
- I'm good, busy.
- My nails need some work,
as you can see.
Girl, I will take care of you.
Right back this way.
Oh, thank you, girl.
So, Lisa, I know something's
been bothering you.
Tell me, what's really
going on with your family?
I think my dad's
slipping a little.
I'm sorry to hear that, girl.
Slipping, is he okay though?
Not slipping like that.
I'm meaning forgetting stuff,
repeating stories, slowing down.
It's hard seeing him get older.
I feel that.
Girl, last year I went
through the same thing
with my grandmother.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, and what's harder is...
Chaz is getting
really attached to him.
- Oh, is he?
- Yeah.
And you know,
he loves the army stories,
which is really sweet, but...
And they're playing army men.
I just...
Army men? You know,
I walk my dog over
to Boone Park every day.
- Really?
- And there's this kid there.
He has tons of army men
set up everywhere.
Oh. I wonder if Chaz knows him.
Maybe they're friends.
Maybe.
- Hey, you all right?
- Thank you.
Sorry, boss, yeah.
Hey, I'm gonna grab
the table over here.
Hey, man, how's it going?
So, can we get three hamburgers,
one hot dog
and three root beer floats?
Hey, Dad, look at that.
Oh, yeah, "g*ns of Navarone."
I had one of those
when I was a kid.
I used to play with it
all the time.
- Do you still have it?
- Uh, we had a yard sale.
It could be... Although
it could be in the attic.
When we get home, can we
search in the attic, please?
Oh, well, we'll...
We'll see.
You know, go catch up
with grandpa there.
I'm gonna catch up
with Frank here, okay?
We'll also go
in the attic today.
Frank, man, it's hot, huh?
- Hey, champ.
- Well, I've been good.
- How about you?
- How's it going?
Were you ever...
bullied in school?
That's an interesting question.
I, uh... I was never bullied
in school personally,
because I was bigger
than the other kids.
But, you know,
I joined World w*r II
because the Germans
were bullying the world,
and we had to stand up
for what was right.
Because if we didn't,
nobody would.
Why do you ask?
Because I have this bully
at school
who's messing with me.
Oh... All I can tell you
is this, Chaz.
Sometimes you gotta stand up
for what you believe in,
like we did in World w*r II,
because if you don't,
nobody else will.
Yeah, kind of figured
that out already.
I mean, he gives Danny wedgies
every single day.
And he always says rude stuff,
and nobody ever
does anything about it.
And it needs to be stopped.
Maybe this will help.
Did I...? I told you what
I've done in World w*r II, yeah?
Well, I was in the ghost unit.
We were the unit
that in World w*r II
helped make D-Day so successful.
We made phony tanks,
phony troops,
and the Germans would fly over
and take pictures thinking
that they were real,
but they weren't.
We fooled them all the time.
That's it, that's it.
You're a genius, Grandpa.
All right, so what I miss?
Well, apparently I'm a genius.
Good to know.
Here are your floats.
- Mmm.
- Very nice.
Thank you, Rosie.
- All right.
- Man.
Okay, so there you go, Pops.
All right, big guy.
- This is amazing, Dad.
- And that's for you.
- Thank you.
- And I get...
- All right.
- And I get the hamburger
and the hot dog, right?
Can we please say grace before?
Oh, no, no, no.
Yes, yes, Pops.
Can we say grace
before we start?
We say grace.
All right, all right, very good.
Dear Lord, thank you
for this food today.
Thank you for our...
My wonderful family.
God bless us everyone.
And just let's have
a wonderful rest of our day.
- Amen.
- Amen!
- There we go, yeah.
- Oh, no, come on.
Oh, yeah, this one.
This one rocks, uh-huh?
Oh... No.
I like this song, Dad.
- Well, yeah.
- You guys,
there's no accounting for taste.
I'll tell ya,
that's no Conway Twitty.
Now, Conway,
now that was good music.
You know, Conway,
he was a master.
Absolutely wonderful.
Okay, all right.
How about that, then?
Oh, hey,
that is good music too.
- Yeah.
- But yes, yes, yes.
Oh, man, that's wonderful.
Oh, Dave, that's great.
- Thank you. Oh, yeah.
- Sure.
Well, hey, Dave, by the way,
on the way home,
can we stop by HD Marigold?
I got something there
I need to pick up.
Oh, sure thing, Pops.
- Wonderful, terrific.
- Okay.
- Thank you so much.
- All right.
Boom, boom, yeah.
We're jamming now, hey, Chaz?
Oh man, this is music.
- Great.
- This is music.
It's...
It's something, Pops.
Okay. Good?
Yeah.
Oh, you don't need us?
I don't need a babysitter,
for goodness sake.
What do you think, I'm 90?
I'll be out
in a couple of minutes.
- Okay, great.
- Don't run away.
All right.
He's okay.
And he's gone, he's gone.
Yeah, okay.
- Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!
Okay.
All right,
let's see what we got.
All right, that one...
and this one.
All right, ma'am, I'll take
these three, thank you.
All righty.
And if I can ask a big favor,
could you triple bag these?
Because my grandson's
out in the car,
it's gonna be
a big surprise for him.
- Sure.
- I do not want him to see them.
- Sure, I'd be glad to.
- Terrific.
All right, great.
- That'll be $6.75.
- Okay, good.
- And here's $7.
- Thank you.
- And there you go.
- Thank you.
Thank you very, very much.
- Thank you.
- Have a great night.
Have a good day.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
Uh-oh, here he comes.
Well, I wish you stayed
and waited for me,
for goodness' sakes.
Did you get everything you need?
Yeah, I did, let's go.
- You good?
- Come on, let the...
And hit the...
hit the gas.
My favorite show's coming on TV.
Okay, all right, you good, Chaz?
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's go.
Ah, these kids
with their rock and roll.
Just like that, right?
That's good.
Hey, Dad, you wanna look for
that "g*ns of Navarone" stuff?
Ooh, you know what, bud?
Maybe another time.
It's pretty hot up
in that attic right now.
All right, well, tell me
when you do go up.
I wanna go too.
Okay, well, I'm going up,
but not in the attic.
No, too hot, too hot.
Ah, ah, no!
Dad, you're okay.
I think it was just a tank
or something on TV.
Tanks? They might be
talking about my unit.
I doubt it.
Did I ever tell you
what I did in the w*r?
Yes, like 100 times.
Oh, my God.
'Cause you should have seen it,
it was wonderful.
That Germans thought
we were gonna hit them
in the Calais region,
but we came up
with Operation Bodyguard.
We made tanks out of wood.
- Fooled them completely.
- Wow.
They thought we had
divisions of troops down there,
but it was just the few of us.
We were the unit
that made ghost units.
It's why D-Day
was so successful.
That's amazing, Dad.
Well, dinner's in the oven.
We'll be ready
in a few minutes.
- Do you need to get ready?
- Oh, nah, I've been sitting
in this chair all day,
just relaxing.
And, you know, I hope
you made enough for me.
Oh, I did, don't you worry.
I always make enough.
Well, you're a wonderful cook.
I... No offense.
Not as good as mom.
- I know, I know, I miss her.
- I know, me too.
She--she was
the love of my life.
She was my rock.
Yeah, did I ever tell you
what I did in the w*r?
Yeah, I think maybe you
should tell Chaz sometime.
- Oh, he's gonna love it.
- I know.
He loves hearing all about it.
- He's a good kid.
- He is.
He's a good kid.
He's a wonderful child.
Hey, go, go, go and make dinner.
I'm hungry.
Don't burn it, please.
Hopefully I won't burn it
this time.
- All right, thank you.
- All right.
I'll see you
in a few minutes, okay?
- All right, sweetheart.
- All right.
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
Click, click, click, click,
click, click, click, click.
Ah...
Boom!
Boom!
Come on, Chaz,
it's time to come in.
Coming, Mom!
All right.
All right, pepper for Dave
and salt for you.
Thank you, dear.
Do you mind blessing it?
- Oh, be my pleasure.
- Okay.
Lord, bless this food
we're about to receive.
May it nourish our bodies,
our minds and our souls.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen.
I'm home, I'm home.
- Oh.
- I'm home, I made it.
I made it, I made it, I made it.
- Hey, I made it.
- Dave, welcome home.
I'm here, and...
I missed grace, didn't I?
- Sure did.
- Yeah, you did.
- We just finished.
- Oh, sorry, Pops.
That's that Y2K thing,
you know?
We finally figured it all out,
didn't happen.
But now we gotta unfigure out
what we tried to figure out.
Sounds complicated.
Yeah.
How was your day, bud?
It was awesome. I made a base
for my tank battalion.
- Oh.
- Dave, you missed a great story
I told about World w*r II.
- Yeah?
- Did I ever tell you
what I did in the w*r?
Oh, well, I'm sure you have
a couple of times.
Enlighten me again now.
Well, well, yeah.
Oh, well, honey,
you forgot the cheese.
- Come on.
- Oh, yes, sorry.
You're getting forgetful.
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna help her with that.
- Ah, great.
- It's a lot of cheese.
Hey, you okay?
- I'm okay, I'm fine.
- You sure?
- Uh-huh. Oh, yes, I'm good.
- Ooh, don't buy it.
They're doing good.
So I'm gonna be doing good
'cause I'm going in.
All right, my lady?
- Stand back.
- Oh, nope.
I need the shirt.
Yes, ma'am.
You ruined my line though.
Come on, big entrance.
Private Smith
reporting for duty!
Whoa. Oh, wait a second,
wait a second.
Oh, what about the...?
Oh, no, but this guy--
Well, I'm climbing up the hill.
Your fort is looking cool.
Thanks man,
wanna come over and play?
Can't, gotta go to my grandma's,
but when I get back, we can.
All right, I'll be here.
Oh, I forgot.
That bully, Jimmy,
in our school,
you know, the wedgeanator?
Yeah, I know him.
Unfortunately. Why?
He has taken over
the whole lot at Boone Park.
He says no one can play there
unless they fight him for it.
And it's for keeps.
He's already beat Craig
and some other guy.
I didn't even know
he had an army.
I thought he just bullied kids.
Dang, Craig had some cool stuff,
and he lost it all?
Yup, all of it.
Wow, I wish there was a way
we could get Craig's army back.
For keeps, for keeps!
For keeps, for keeps!
I got your army!
You have no power.
I am powerful!
For keeps, Chaz!
They're mine, they're all mine.
For keeps, for keeps.
Chaz, they're all mine!
They're all mine, Chaz!
Yeah, little Jimmy
took them all!
Dad!
Oh, my gosh.
It was just a dream.
Oh, my gosh, that was scary.
Hey, bud. Bad dream?
Yeah, there was this,
there was this big ugly guy
and he had this huge vacuum.
And he was sucking up
all of my things,
all of my army men.
And he was laughing about it,
and it was really creepy.
- Yeah.
- And there was fighting and...
Oh, but it's okay, it's okay.
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream, okay?
Hey, when I was your age
and I would have bad dreams,
you know what I would do?
I would replay them,
but rewrite the story, okay?
So if there was
a big ugly, creepy dude,
I'd be like,
"Hey, big, ugly, creepy dude.
You no match for me,
that's right.
I'm gonna get my lightning sword
with my space knight."
"That's right, and I'll come in
and I'll get him."
Ha ha h*, ha ha.
"Oh, no, I'm big, ugly,
creepy dude, I'm going away."
I'll be like,
"Yeah, totally awesome."
See? We win the day.
That's what soldiers do.
All right?
So let's pray too, okay?
Lord, we just pray
against big, ugly,
creepy dudes
coming into our dreams.
And we pray that we have
a good night's sleep
and we have an amazing night.
Yeah, amen.
- Amen.
- Okay, all right.
- Love you, Dad.
- You got this, bud.
I love you too.
All right, don't let
those dudes try to get ya!
Totally awesome.
Goodnight, love you.
Man, I had a terrible dream
last night.
I dreamed that Jimmy
beat me in my battle
and took all
my army men, everything.
And there was this old guy
and he was sucking up
everything with a vacuum.
And the vacuum
was so old that just that
made it sound
like it was just gonna explode!
Well, look who it is.
Loser one and loser two.
Where's your buddy Craig?
Still crying 'cause I
defeated him and took his guys?
No.
You know my army's
the biggest army here.
It's gonna keep getting bigger
because I play for keeps.
I'll battle you
anytime, anywhere.
I'm not scared of you
or your wimpy army.
Well, there's mighty,
big talk.
So where's your army?
Remember your dream?
Man with hose, ring a bell?
Well, there he is.
I'm not scared of him.
Let's combine our armies
and take him out.
So I am scared,
I'm not afraid to say it.
I'm not fighting him
and losing my stuff.
Well, there's a smart kid,
'cause I'll destroy
any army that fights me.
Not mine, no.
You've been building this fort
for weeks, months, who knows?
Then it's settled.
I'll give you a week
to build your fort
and your army against my army.
Next Saturday, 10:00 o'clock.
Oh, I'll be there.
Good.
Remember, we play for keeps.
What did you do?
You can't beat that.
That guy makes me so mad.
And we, we can beat him!
I told you,
I'm not fighting him.
I'm not losing my stuff.
Some friend you are.
Go ahead and tuck tail
and run home.
I'm battling him
with or without you.
He's going down.
We're still friends, right?
No way, why so gloomy, buddy?
Because Zach is a doodoo head!
What was all that about?
Apparently Zach
is a doodoo head.
- Zach?
- Yeah.
Zach's a doodoo head.
His words, not mine.
I'm sure they'll figure it out.
Yeah, we figured it out.
Remember? You thought
I was a doodoo head?
I didn't call you a doodoo head.
Well, no, but it was
during the proposal.
I mean, it was kind of awkward.
Not awkward, you're not awkward.
Yeah, no.
Old Chaz here
is fighting Jimmy
at a lot on Saturday at 10:00.
- Oh, no.
- Don't do it, man.
That Jimmy is whacked.
Yeah, he took everything.
It was over
in like five minutes.
You can't beat him.
He has thousands of men.
That kid, Rex, don't miss.
He's a pitcher on their team
and their team is undefeated.
You know what?
I'm gonna beat Jimmy
one way or another, okay?
So I'm tired of him bullying us.
So with or without you,
he's going down.
Yeah, but how?
Don't worry about it,
you're out.
I'm out,
but I'm still your friend.
I don't think so.
Friends don't turn
their backs on friends.
You can have my guys.
Now, he's a friend.
- You can use mine.
- Mine too.
Let's take a stand
against this guy.
I'll help.
Who's tired of him?
- I am.
- Me too.
I've got a plan.
Meet me in my place
after school.
- Oh, I'll be there.
- I'll try.
Chaz, I've got your back.
Trust me.
Okay, thanks, Phoebe.
Okay, class, settle down.
Get ready
for morning announcements.
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey, how was school?
Pretty good.
Ah!
Yeah?
I have some friends coming over.
- Oh, that's fine.
- They're helping me
plan the fight
with Jimmy this weekend.
A fight?
Oh, yeah,
he's passing out flyers,
but he isn't gonna know
what hit him.
I... don't want you
fighting someone.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Not that type of fight.
- Ah, okay.
- No, a fight with army men
against him this weekend.
Okay, all right.
- Yeah.
- Well, that makes more sense.
Yeah, no, we're battling him
because he's a bully.
He always takes
everyone's army men.
Well, ah, fun fact.
I had a bully
when I was your age,
and she would
pull my hair every day.
And then...
we became best friends.
You became... What?
How?
Well, I probably shouldn't be
telling you this,
but... I bopped her in the nose.
So I need to bop him
in the nose?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, please don't.
Stand your ground and then
maybe you'll be best friends.
- Hey, I think you got this.
- Oh, Phoebe's here.
Okay, well, you go.
We'll be in the background.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you go have fun.
Love you.
Okay, it's a start.
Now we have to ask our friends
and maybe even
our parents to help.
We're gonna need a lot more
if we're gonna beat him.
So meet back here
tomorrow after school.
Bring everything you can.
We're gonna need it.
Don't forget
about my army.
Oh yeah, bring it
tomorrow so I can see it.
You'll be commanding your army.
Zach commanding his army,
so I will be commanding mine.
Trust me, I've got you.
Okay, but I don't think
Zach is fighting with us.
He said that he didn't
wanna lose his troops.
Who's that?
Graveyard of fallen comrades.
Every time a soldier gets
blown up, I bury them here.
Get to digging,
they could be a zombie army.
Kind of like that,
army of the undead.
Sorry, guys, duty calls.
Wow, that is a lot of zombies.
They're not zombies.
My grandpa always says,
"A soldier never dies."
So they were never dead.
They were plastic anyways.
Zombie army sounds cooler.
We're gonna get k*lled.
Nah, I got you.
Geez, they gotta
be annihilate. Ah.
Hey, you guys having fun?
I was about to bring these
snacks out, do you want any?
No, ma'am, we're
on a mission to find army men.
Don't you have enough?
Mom, say that all the army men
on the porch
equals one division.
The person we're going
against has 5, maybe even 10.
Then why would you
fight such a big army?
Because he's a bully.
Mom, he pushed Phoebe down
for no reason today.
He pushed me down
because I told him
that he has a small army
and that I could beat him.
- Did you tell a teacher?
- No, Mom.
He gives Danny here
a wedgie every day.
Dude.
And his dad is rich,
so he knows he can
get away with stuff.
Also, he does it
when the teacher isn't around.
Well, we probably need
to tell someone about this.
Tell someone what?
What, what's going on?
We are getting ready
for the big battle on Saturday.
Oh, the big bat-battle.
What, what battle?
Wait, you didn't tell
your dad?
What time is it?
Well, how about you guys
go and have some fun
and I'll fill your dad in, okay?
Come on, guys, let's go.
He is having a fight
with this bully at school.
- And--
- There's wedgies
and battling going on,
battling wedgies?
- About the wedgies.
- Yeah.
Well, no, they're like
army men
and they're gonna do like
a little switcheroos.
You can't give
army men wedges.
- Wait.
- That doesn't work like that.
Hey, Chaz,
got something for you.
Oh, cool.
I told my nanny about the fight.
She said I should join you
and bought you these.
She bought me some too.
Your grandma's so cool.
So are you fighting with me?
I'll fight with you
as long as I command my army
and you command your army.
We fight until the end together.
- Never give up.
- Never!
Oh, some guys came over,
you know, brought some army men.
Danny and Phoebe had
a couple hundred guys.
- Phoebe had army guys?
- Yeah.
And you wanna know what's weird?
She kept looking at me
and saying that she has my back.
And you wanna know
what's even weirder?
She said
that she'd command her army.
Army? Maybe she likes you.
Careful. Oh, hey!
You found it.
Well, sorry, bud.
It's actually just the box
and a couple of army men.
The castle is gone.
Okay, thanks for trying.
This is still cool though.
The other kid has one, I saw it
from across the street.
Yeah, it was cool.
But I remember that it tips over
pretty easy.
So I bet a dirt clod
right over the top of it
would take it out.
- Good intel.
- All right, take care.
And that was the beginning
of World w*r II.
Oh, before I forget, did anyone
bring Chaz any army men?
Okay, you may give them
to him now.
Wow!
Oh, my gosh.
That's a lot of army men.
There's more?
This is awesome.
Whoa.
We're all rooting for you.
Here, take these.
They belong to my nephew.
He's all grown up now and he
doesn't play with 'em anymore.
Thanks, Ms. Mullens.
- Just make sure you win.
- I will.
Wow!
Let's load 'em up
in your book bag.
Load 'em up, man.
Let's do this.
I'll pour these in here.
Some full, some full.
It's completely full.
With this many,
we might actually have a chance.
I think we do.
Okay, now let's get back
to class.
Okay.
All right, back to World w*r II.
Everyone open
your books, please.
Come on, I, I like peaches.
But some might say
I'm allergic to apples.
And I don't even like apples.
Hey, guys, how's it going?
Good.
Good, haven't seen you
at the lot yet.
Fight's still on, right?
10:00am, Saturday.
Just wanna make sure you
haven't chickened out yet.
Oh, we'll be there.
Just to let you know,
my dad has marked the field
of my side and your side.
It's outlined with caution tape.
Okay, that's cool.
What was that?
Nobody got assaulted.
No wedgies.
Jimmy's body has been
"tooken" by an alien.
Just so you know...
simply faking
of giving you a beat down
gives me a tangly
feeling inside.
And they're peace,
you have no idea.
He's back.
Well, what do you think?
I don't think
it's as big as his army,
but I think we got a chance.
Well, maybe someone else
will bring you
some army men tomorrow.
Why don't we go check
that new kid's house?
I bet he has some.
After him, maybe
let's go to Vick's house.
Oh yeah, I bet he has some too.
- We can go there after.
- All right.
Hey, Lisa, my darling daughter.
Can I borrow the car please?
No, but I'll take you.
Where do you wanna go?
Oh, I just want to go up
on to the corner to the VFW.
I got some of my boat buddies
up there I wanna get with.
Okay, let me see where Chaz is.
Okay.
Hey, man, I gotta go,
but I'll catch back up
with you when I get back, okay?
- Okay, I'll see you.
- All right, come on.
Yeah, he's playing with
the next door neighbor's kids,
so he should be in
in a few minutes
and then we'll head out,
how about that?
All right, cool.
I'll meet you outside.
All right, sounds good.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Yeah.
Pull in here for a second.
I gotta run inside for a minute,
pick something up, okay?
- Okay.
- Pop open the trunk
- for me here, all right?
- Yeah, okay.
I'll put some stuff
back there.
- All righty.
- Thank you.
Okay, can you believe it?
Yeah, they are, they're not.
- Hey, Top.
- Hi, Zip, how are you?
- How you doing?
- Terrific, terrific.
Top, do you finish
that project we talked about?
Yeah, they're
in the back of my truck.
It's open, take all the boxes.
Wonderful, wonderful.
How many did you make?
- Enough.
- Good.
Well, I really appreciate
the work that you
and everybody did,
and I know my grandson
is gonna go crazy
when he sees all that.
No problem.
We met, knocked it right out.
Old Zippy here even made
the grandson something special.
Her being Navy and all.
Ah, great.
Well, listen,
see you tomorrow for Bingo?
- Yep, see you.
- Roger that.
All right, take care.
All right.
Yep.
All right, let's go.
What's with all that stuff?
I'll tell you later.
Okay.
- What are in those boxes?
- It's a surprise.
I like surprises.
Well, listen, buddy,
you're gonna be crazy
about this surprise, buddy.
Over the top.
Yeah, well, I've definitely
noticed you've been stuck
in your room the last
few days doing something.
- Oh, really?
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll see after dinner.
All right, all right.
I'll stop pressuring you.
Yeah, someone's in a good mood.
I just finished
a project I was working on.
Oh, what project?
You'll see,
it's a little something.
Tell us after dinner,
right, Dad?
Oh, yeah, I'll show you
after dinner.
Don't worry about it.
I can't wait to see it.
Hey Mom, what are
we having for dinner?
Fried chicken.
Well, go get washed up.
We're almost ready.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fried chicken, mm.
I hope you made me
an extra spicy piece.
- Oh, I did, extra hot.
- Oh, boy.
Well, that was
some good chicken.
Delicious.
It should be,
it was mom's recipe.
And I knew it tasted good.
Great job, sweetheart.
So are you gonna show us
what you've been working on?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, before
I show you all...
Chaz, did I ever tell you
what I did in World w*r II?
You made tanks or something?
Yeah, well, I was in a thing
called Operation Bodyguard.
We made phony troops
and tanks to fool the Germans.
And we certainly did.
We never lost one person,
because they thought
they were bombing real troops.
It was amazing.
Wait, we're talking about you
in history class.
Wait till I tell Ms. Mullens,
she's gonna flip.
She told us all about your unit.
Really?
That's terrific.
We were a ghost unit,
only a few men,
but we made all those
phony tanks and troops.
So you got a big battle coming
up on Saturday, don't you?
Against superior numbers?
- Yes, sir.
- All right, come on.
Follow me, whoop.
Okay, I think.
Maybe just one more
piece of chicken.
All right, come on in.
Gee, grandpa,
you did all this for me?
Absolutely.
Come Saturday morning,
he won't know
what's real or fake.
Wow, he won't
be expecting this.
- Not a chance.
- This is a great idea.
Yeah, this is awesome,
this is awesome.
Now I have
a little surprise too.
Not as awesome as this,
but a little something.
- What is that?
- You wanna see?
Yeah, what is it?
- Come on!
- In the garage.
- Come on!
- All right, all right.
Wow, Dad.
Well, I know you only
had the box of Navarone,
so I thought I would give you
the "g*ns of Navarone."
Wow, Dad, this is awesome!
- Yeah, well.
- It's... This is one big floor.
Well, okay, it is,
but that's because I couldn't
remember how big it was,
so I just kept building
and building.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, you can't keep a secret.
Yeah, that's for sure.
She's a blabbermouth.
I'm caught. Oh, no.
That is the cherry
on top of it, I'll tell you.
You know, if I was up
against you,
I'd be bombing
the daylights out of it.
That's the idea.
Thanks, Dad, it's perfect.
Well, now, Chaz, you
gotta come up with a plan
to get your troops
onto the b*ttlefield
without him knowing about it.
Wait until I tell the guys,
they're gonna be so shocked.
We have a meeting tomorrow
after school.
Can I see what you made me?
I need to get a count.
Don't worry about that.
I got a piece of paper
on my desk
that has the number of troops
that we made for you.
So that's taken care of.
Now, the other thing we did
is we made fake maps
and dropped them
behind enemy lines.
It fooled the daylights
out of the Germans.
I feel bad for Jimmy.
I'm starting to feel
sorry for Jimmy too.
I wish. He's gonna get creamed.
You done good.
Oh, I need you to do me a favor,
but you're not gonna like it.
What is it?
I need you to act like this.
No, it's real,
so he thinks it's real.
It fools them out completely.
Roger that.
This is top secret,
so don't let anyone have it.
Especially not Jimmy.
This is gonna hurt.
Jimmy's gonna beat
the crap out of me.
Just do it for the team, man.
Hey, Ms. Mullins.
We need a referee
for the battle on Saturday.
Are you able to do it?
Well, I'd be honored.
What time do you need me there?
Let's see,
the battle starts at 10:00,
so, yeah,
can you be there at 9:00?
I'll be there.
The empty lot in Boone Park?
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, my grandfather was in
the Army thing in World w*r II.
The, oh, the ghost unit that
we were talking about in class.
Really?
Well, I would love to meet him.
He'll be there on Saturday,
you can meet him then.
Cool.
Dang, that kid is good.
That was easy.
I thought for sure I was gonna
get a wedgie or something.
Yeah, shows me spies
are everywhere.
Yeah, oh, I have
some news for you,
but I can't show you here.
I'll show you when we
get to my house, okay?
- Tell me.
- Can't.
Sure you can, just tell me.
- Nope.
- Come on, please.
You'll find out soon enough.
Just wait, trust me.
You're gonna love it.
What are y'all talking about?
Nothing.
Chaz won't tell me something.
Just the teensy-weensy
little something.
What, is it like a secret?
Oh, do tell.
Look what you started.
Okay, guys, remember,
my army on the right,
Danny's army in the middle,
and Zach's army's on the left.
We're gonna have
FTs scattered throughout
and the big g*ns are gonna be
in the back,
so they're harder to hit.
Now, everyone
memorize this plan.
Remember what you have
to do, got it?
Got it.
I have a question.
What are FTs
and where do I get them from?
Oh, my gosh.
I was so excited, I forgot
to show y'all something.
Follow me.
"This is my commandment
that you love one another
as I have loved you.
Greater love
has no one than this,
than to lay down
one's life for his friends."
Come in.
Look, guys.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
I must have dreamt it.
Relax, Chaz.
Moved it into the garage.
Oh, oh, man.
That freaked me out.
Okay, my dad and my grandpa
made me something.
Guys, come on, let's go.
Enjoy the surprise, boys.
And girl.
Well, this is
a game changer.
Craig, those are FTs.
My grandpa did this
to the Germans in World w*r II,
and we're gonna do it to Jimmy.
This is the plan, guys.
And in the fourth quarter,
we crush him.
I don't see space
for my army anywhere.
Where am I gonna set up?
You said I could
command my army.
Dang, Phoebe, I thought
you gave us all your guys.
That wasn't my army.
Those were guys
I don't play with.
My army's the best army,
you'll see.
Well, how about this?
If Jimmy's beating us,
I'll let you come in
in the fourth quarter, okay?
I'll be there.
Has anyone seen Phoebe's army?
No.
I wonder why
she's so secretive about it.
Yeah.
So they gave this all
to you last night?
Yeah, my grandpa made the FTs
and my dad made the fort.
So with all the FTs, this is
what we're gonna do, okay?
We have four quarters
in this w*r.
In between each quarter,
we get a few minutes
to add some troops
and clean up the dead.
Now, the last quarter,
we have to put everything out.
Flood the field of battle.
We have 15 minutes.
Oh, we're gonna win this.
Now the only problem is,
how are we gonna get
all this out there
without him noticing?
I've got an idea.
Come on, guys.
Stop. Wait.
Ah, all right,
here's what we're gonna do.
You keep an eye on the kids
from near this angle.
You stay here.
I'm gonna go over there,
hide behind that tree
and I'll watch 'em from there.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Make sure nothing happens
to 'em.
- All right.
- Do me a favor.
Don't drive away without me.
That should fix it.
Do you always carry
a can of grease with you?
I mean, yeah.
You never know
when you're gonna need it.
Now, come on.
I swore I smell my grandpa.
Why would it smell
like your grandpa
in the middle of the night?
I can see everything.
Looks like everything's
going according to plan.
You didn't think I was
gonna let you go out there
in the middle of the night
all by yourselves, did you?
No, Dad, sorry.
I just didn't think
you were gonna let me go.
Just wanna make sure
you're okay.
I'm sure the other kids
didn't ask their parents either.
But, look, you can always
come to me.
Thanks, Dad.
You know what's crazy?
I thought I smelled grandpa
out there.
You did.
I was so close
I could've touched you.
Wow, that's pretty good,
Grandpa.
Remind me never to play
hide and seek with you.
So everything ready?
Everything except Phoebe's army.
She said
she'd bring it tomorrow,
but I'm hoping we don't need it.
Fingers crossed.
Okay.
It'll work, believe me.
All right, let's get to bed.
Come on, don't tell your mom.
I'm here.
Well, you definitely
look ready for battle.
Yeah, big day, huh?
A little nervous.
Don't be nervous,
you're gonna do great.
Yeah, seriously.
You're gonna do super, okay?
Hey, let's pray.
Grandpa, what do you say?
Okay. Dear Lord,
for be thy will,
give Chaz here victory
over his enemies.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen, all right.
All right, well,
I made breakfast,
so let's just eat it on the way.
- Sounds good.
- All right, let's go.
- What are we waiting for?
- Come on!
Let's do it.
You know,
thanks for doing this.
Oh, well, I gotta tell you,
I have never refereed
a dirt clod battle before.
Have you played
a dirt clod battle before?
When I was a kid.
You're here
just to keep things fair.
We throw dirt clods
at each other's army men.
You just set the time and how
many dirt clods we can throw.
Whoever has zero
by the end of the time wins.
That sounds easy enough.
This is my parents.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
Well, you know, I mean, no.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Is this who I think it is?
Yeah, this is my grandpa
that I told you about.
It is a pleasure to meet you.
So nice to meet you.
Your grandson tells me
you were in a...
a ghost unit in World w*r II.
Oh, yeah, we were masters
in the art of deception.
We fooled them Germans
like nothing.
I would love to have you
come to speak
to my classes
in school sometime.
Really?
I would be honored it
and humbled
to be doing that for you.
- Hey, Ms. Mullins.
- Ah!
Hello.
I didn't think
you were gonna show.
Ready to get beat?
You know, Jimmy,
your army's gonna look
real good in my backyard.
Jimmy, you did all this?
- I sure did.
- We have ten minutes.
Is there anything
I need to know from you?
I have just those two boxes
right over there
of reserved armies and the rest
will be thrown with me.
Okay, do you have any rules?
Yeah, your army has
to be inside the caution tape
to be able to fight.
Got it.
Well, good luck, Jimmy.
I'm gonna go see
what he has to say.
We got this.
Well, I didn't expect
this either.
Hey, Chaz, you have
five minutes until we start.
Do I need to know
anything from you?
Yes. Ms. Mullins.
My army's mostly fake,
paper and cardboard cutouts.
They look real, but they aren't.
I'm doing Operation Bodyguard
on the enemy.
Well, that's cool.
I'm glad someone's paying
attention in class.
Do you have any reserves?
Yes, ma'am,
buried under the ground
so he doesn't know
what we have.
Show me, I need to understand
what we're doing
just to make sure it's fair.
Okay, I didn't even see that.
Troops are in marked area.
Just under it, seems okay.
Operation Bodyguard.
Got it, very sneaky.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, and Zach is my other b*mber.
Just in case we need her,
Phoebe is my last reserve army,
which I guess she's sitting on.
Okay, truth's been shown to me.
Now it's about that time.
Finish up, good luck.
Okay, everyone.
My name is Ms. Mullins.
I teach at your sons' school.
They've asked me to be the
referee to this dirt clod w*r.
Rule one, Jimmy and Rex will
be throwing on this side only
and Chaz and Zach will be
throwing from this side.
Rule number two,
no limit on dirt clods
you throw
until the whistle blows.
Rule three, all troops
that have been blown up
will be picked up and removed
from the field of play
and deposited inchoate
away from the troop area.
This battle is for keeps.
Whoever wins,
gets the other kid's army.
That's it, pull back the tarp.
I can do this.
Dang, I didn't know
they had a army this big.
Me neither.
Jimmy, you ready?
Let's do it.
Chaz, you ready?
Sir, yes, sir.
All right, that's ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
On the whistle.
It's w*r.
No!
Get that truck.
- Oh, no.
- Destroy their army.
- Get it.
- Take down their army.
- I got one.
- You guys right there.
- Get the front!
- Destroy them.
That's what
I'm talking about.
Come on.
Go, Zach!
Come on, destroy them.
Come on, come on!
Get the front!
- Destroy them.
- Take that!
Go, Zach, go, Zach!
Destroy them.
Come on!
Take it down,
take it down!
First quarter, collect
everything that is dead.
Get it off the field and away
from your regular troops.
Your grandpa was right.
He didn't even go
after any of the real guys.
He was going for the big stuff.
He got us good.
Let's just hope he doesn't
realize what's going on.
Let's go put some troops out
over there.
They want that area out.
Yeah.
Chaz.
Dang, Chaz, he blew up
half your army.
Phoebe, don't say
stuff like that.
They might hear you.
Good job, Phoebe.
Have your troops ready.
Oh, they're ready.
- Jimmy, you ready?
- Yep.
- Chaz, you ready?
- Yes, ma'am.
Pull open the tarp.
- You can do this!
- Go, get it!
You can do this, man.
Come on,
that's one...
Get the front.
Get those!
Oh, no, oh, no.
Come on, get the truck,
get the truck.
Come on, Zach,
come on, Zach.
I wasn't expecting all this.
Yeah, me neither. Huh?
You want something to drink?
- Yeah.
- It's a little dusty.
After you, no, please.
You want anything to drink?
Yes, don't forget
your old man, come on.
- All right, okay.
- All right, come on.
Five minutes.
Five minutes, guys.
Five minutes.
That's for him.
Oh, got you a popcorn set.
Popcorn, what are you kidding?
I was thirsty, I didn't
want something salty.
Sorry, Pops.
It's fine.
Hey, will you make sure Danny,
Craig and Phoebe are
ready for this next round?
Oh, they're ready, look.
- You eat it then.
- Okay, all right.
I like popcorn.
You can have mine.
Here, switcheroo for you.
Thank you, I don't like grape.
What about this?
- What flavor is this?
- I don't know,
- but it's great.
- It's raspberry,
it's raspberry, Pops.
All right, all right, fine.
Everybody ready?
Hey, Chaz, wanna surrender?
I don't wanna k*ll all your men.
Time out.
Time!
Bring out the stuff.
All of it.
Yes, yeah, except the big g*ns.
We save that for Phoebe.
All right.
Yeah.
Now!
Come on, come on, let's do this.
Let's do this,
let's destroy this.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on!
Come on, Chaz!
Go, Chaz!
Go, Chaz!
Ah, let's go, come on.
No!
Go, Phoebe!
Come on!
Come on!
We got 'em good this time.
What, y'all think you've won?
We've got more troops than you.
You'll hardly have
anything to put out.
We got 'em good that time.
Yeah.
Okay, Phoebe, you're on.
Let's see those troops.
About time.
Ten minutes.
Let's go, girls!
I told you I had your back.
Wow.
Oh, we're in trouble.
Girl power!
Yeah!
What's happening?
Where did you all get that from?
Something's wrong here.
I call time.
Ms. Mullins, they're cheating.
How are they cheating?
They had one box of reserves.
That's all I was showing.
Where did that big thing
come from?
That definitely
wasn't a reserve.
Well, Jimmy, they buried
their reserves last night
so you wouldn't see them.
But they showed them to me
this morning
before the start of the w*r.
So it counts.
That's their reserve?
You know what?
I can't even be mad.
We were outplayed,
but it's not over yet.
We can still win.
Get them back, no.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, Zach, come on.
Go, Chaz.
Come on.
Go, Chaz.
Chaz and Zach!
Chaz and Zach!
Chaz and Zach!
And the winner is Chaz!
All right!
Congratulations, Chaz.
And Zach, Danny and Phoebe.
She won this for us.
She's the real hero.
Who knew she had
this big of an army?
Yeah.
Yay!
- Congratulations, guys!
- We did it!
God, that was great.
That was awesome.
Dusty, but awesome.
Next time we could do
water balloons.
I'll tell you.
I like that, yeah.
That that was a successful
Operation Bodyguard,
just like we did
in World w*r II.
Well?
I think we need
some celebratory pizza.
Pizza, yeah.
Can I bring my friends?
- Of course, you can.
- Yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
Did somebody say free pizza?
- Hey, Jimmy.
- Hey.
So epic battle Saturday, right?
It was... cool.
Nice job faking me out.
Oh, that was my grandpa's idea.
So next Saturday, same time?
But maybe minus
the food trucks this time.
Yeah, my dad have... May have
gone a little overboard
and it would be fun
to do it again,
but I don't really
have an army anymore.
Well, we could give you some.
Well, after Craig and the others
get their army back,
but so we can all play.
Seriously?
Seriously.
Nah, we played for keeps
and... I was a jerk.
That is kind of true.
But people and rules
can change, right?
Yeah. Yeah, they can.
Cool?
Cool.
So where'd you get
such a big army?
Well, the pink one
was Phoebe's.
I figured.
That was kind of epic.
Yeah.
Oh, and you're gonna laugh,
but...
But what?
So you know
how they used fake troops
in Operation Bodyguard
during World w*r II?
Yeah.
So did I.
What, fake troops?
All of them?
About half of them.
I never knew.
From where I was standing,
they looked real.
And your reserves...
Man, y'all are good.
I'll be ready for you next time.
I'm sure you will.
And this time
let's not play for keeps.
Let's just set 'em up
and knock 'em down.
Okay. Wait, what if we did
a water balloon w*r next week?
Oh, I'll be there.
And Chaz?
Yeah?
Thanks.
No problem.
To lay down your life
for another person
is probably the greatest thing
that any of us could do,
especially while
defending our country.
Going through
the chief's initiation,
we were questioned on
in scenarios
if the ship was to take a hit
and you had to get 'em
out of there,
but somebody had
to stay in to lock it down,
what would you do?
Of course, most senior guy
let the junior guys go.
In the service,
you meet people
that under normal circumstances
you may never
have ran into these people.
You learn about different things
and you become close with them.
And then you realize, if,
you know, if there was a fire,
a hurricane, or any kind of
natural disaster or even a w*r,
you would give your life
to save that person's life.
You learn what it means
to fight
for the person next to you.
They become your family.
You're really doing
this ultimate sacrifice
for someone
who's in your family.
Because of what I learned
being in the military,
that I would have
laid down my life.
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Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register