01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

Yep, that's me.

Teenage boy, stood on a bridge,

smokin' the drugs.

Am I a cliché?

Tough crowd.

Okay, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt.

Where could the yogurt be?

For f*ck's sake, Rick.

- Here you go.

- Oh.

Get ready for the freak-out.

Put some meat on your bones.

- Gran, Mia won't want butter.

- It's fine.

Don't worry, Alex. I've got it covered.

- No need to tell on me.

- I wasn't going to.

You weren't what?

Covering up our parents' secret divorce?

Okay, so

I've put an extra yogurt in there,

in case you get peckish.

Dad said you liked strawberry.

Uh, Mia!

When did you

become such a stranger?

When did I lose my best friend?

No. No, no,

Rachel McAdams movies are not a genre.

Um, sacrilege.

Okay, you know what? Fine, pick whatever.

Which do you want to start before swaps?

No, I'm good, actually.

Are you sure?

I can't be held responsible

for my actions once I reach that

gooey caramel goodness in the middle. Mmm.

Yeah, I had a big dinner.

Suit yourself.

Are you okay?

Yeah, of course.

Why do you ask?

Now, don't forget,

I'm picking you up later.

We've got our appointment with Dr. Nell.

Yes, I haven't forgotten.

This session is really important.

He wants us to think about how

How all of this has affected us

individually and as a family.

I know, Mum.

Yep, of course you do.

Sorry.

I'm so glad I can always rely on you.

Who the f*ck moved my f*cking shoes?

Coming!

Hey.

Are we okay?

Look, I know I've been a total prick,

and I'll keep apologizing

until we're 32, but

I really am sorry.

I know.

I know everyone tries to save

their best bits for the outside world,

but sometimes, Mia,

you're like a whole other person.

- I'll give that to you.

- I know. I am.

And I don't know

how you put it on so easily.

One minute, you're a total prick,

and the next is all sweetness and smiles.

Gorgeous.

And do you even realize how lucky

you are to have friends like yours?

Like Becca.

Aside from being maybe

the fittest person I've ever seen,

Becca is always just so good.

And so f*cking fit.

Cameron pretty much kept me going

while you were away.

He was the older sibling

I needed you to be. And he was good at it.

And even when you've pissed him off,

Will just always wants

everyone to have a good time.

And Alison is

apparently, your new girlfriend.

So what are we doing later?

Anything on the list?

Ooh. The list, the list,

defer to the list.

I'm on it. I'm deferring.

What list?

Did you hear that, Polanco? George's mum

sews his name into his boxers.

Not just mine. She does it to hers too.

Say something funny, twat.

How do you know?

Been sniffing your mum's

knickers again, have we?

Nailed it. Twat.

Obviously not.

- Prick.

- Don't cry about it, burger nips.

- Leave it out.

- I'm seeing her today anyway.

'Course you are. Yeah.

Issy Huckin, the face behind

every erection in maths since Year 8,

smiling at you.

Stop staring, then, you freak.

Some of you might be disappointed,

but that's what past papers are for.

Practice. This was the time

to make mistakes.

And some of you have

actually done rather well.

Oi, Polanco. Who you texting?

Your mum.

Ah, yes. "Your mum" jokes.

Super mature.

Famously very impressive to girls.

Alex!

Sorry, sorry.

I said you should be

very proud of yourself.

You and Issy,

only perfect scores in the year.

Prick.

Scrolling through her pictures

instead of just talking to her.

What are you? A f*cking incel?

Intelligent, though.

Like, an intelligent incel.

Sorry, um

Thanks, Mum. Miss!

Miss.

An intelligent, Mummy's-boy incel.

Anyone who chooses to do maths at A-level

isn't right in the head.

Yeah.

- What was that exactly?

- You'd be fine, though.

You are an overachiever

who is sickeningly good at everything.

Um

No, I mean

It's it's not

I can't

Form a f*cking sentence

to talk to you, apparently.

f*ck maths, though. I want to write.

Maybe journalism.

Or something unstable

to piss off my dad.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, you know.

Sack off uni, do Love Island,

steal the prize money. That kind of vibe.

Yeah, that'll that'll do it.

I think I'm gonna apply for that

internship Miss Hossain mentioned, though.

Try being a corporate pig for a bit.

Are you?

What internship?

At Parker Newtown.

The firm in Bristol.

It's fully paid and they

put you up for the eight weeks.

Oh, yeah. Um

No, I I don't think so.

How come? They only

invited a couple of us to apply.

I bet your parents were buzzing.

They're slightly preoccupied

with their horrible divorce

and my black hole of a sister.

We've, um

We've got a lot on.

Right. Of course.

Do you have a free period?

Do I have a period?

Yeah, yeah, yes.

Um

Yeah, a free period, you know, not a

I don't have a the menstrual cycle.

k*ll yourself.

Sorry, no. I

I think I have English, actually.

But we could

Yo, bro. What's good?

Your timing, apparently.

Yeah.

I'll see you later.

Hm.

f*cking menstrual cycle.

Why don't you take

a menstrual cycle off a cliff?

Me and Carli were talking

about shrooms at some point.

Shrooms? Like the drugs?

Yeah, darling. Like the drugs.

I'm not sure I need to be

hallucinating anytime soon.

Well, maybe, but they do

help you drift off, you know,

help you forget

your troubles and all that.

Hm, troubles, you say.

Well, I have one or two, so count me in.

- Hey!

- I'll call my dealer.

All right. Laters, plebs.

Are you okay?

Yeah, just just a second.

Are you still bleeding?

Just a little.

I can't believe I didn't

Honestly, it's fine.

It's fine.

Mum was great. I wasn't alone.

I know, I just

wish I could have been there for you.

Hm?

Come on.

I'm sorry, what?

Issy Huckin is

messaging me.

And not even in a "do you have

the biology homework?" kind of way.

But in a casual, making jokes,

borderline flirty way.

In a "did she just ask me on a date" way?

A few messages from you

and I'm full of butterflies.

I'm pathetic.

Am I a simp? Is this simp-ish behavior?

Do people even still say "simp"?

I don't know. I don't even care.

I'll be your simp, Issy Huckin.

And you

have sent a tit pic. Holy f*cking sh*t.

"Thank you"? You f*cking twat. Um

I don't know when I expected

to exchange nudes for the first time,

but I didn't think it would happen

while sh1tting out last night's chili

in the English block toilets.

As far as risky wanks go,

this one, this is pushing it.

f*ck. No. No, no, no, no.

Go away. Go away. Go away.

One, two, three, four ♪

Get up, get on up ♪

sh*t.

Get up, get on up

Stay on the scene ♪

Get on up

Get up, get on up ♪

Sorry. Bloody door.

You're disgusting.

You're a sex machine.

You're a disgusting sex machine.

Stay on the scene, like a sex machine ♪

You got to have the feeling

Sure as you're born ♪

Get it together, right on, right on ♪

Get up, get on up ♪

Get up, get on up ♪

Get up, get on up ♪

You all right, twinkle toes?

Who spunked in your cereal, eh?

Well, luckily,

you're talking to an expert.

I'm serious, all right. I'm a girl guru.

A woman whisperer, right?

If pulling birds was an Olympic sport,

I'm Tom "breaking diving records

on the" Daley. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but Tom Daley

is married to a man, so

Whatever. What I'm trying to say is,

right, you don't want to wait too long.

Or she'll be the one that got away.

Thanks, Cam.

Yeah.

Hey. Shrooms are sorted for later.

I'm going to go pick up from Juice.

- Who on God's green earth is Juice?

- He's my dealer.

- What kind of name is that?

- He's actually a very dangerous man.

What's he selling, Ribena?

Hilarious.

And are you sure about this, Mia?

Yeah, I'm sure. It's on the list.

Got to do it sometime.

- What's this list you keep talking about?

- What if you freak out?

And relive that time

your cat ate a wasp and died?

Hmm. Well, unlike Albert,

God rest his soul, I will live.

Babe, what about your parents?

Guess there's only one parent

to worry about now that Dad's left.

What?

Great.

Wait, is that true?

Rick and Viv have split up?

No.

Well, yeah. But it's fine.

And you didn't tell me?

What the hell, M?

Why didn't you say anything?

Can we just move on, please?

Mia, this is, like, huge.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. It's it's not

You happy?

Sorry, I didn't

It was just a joke.

Maybe next time you should

just keep your mouth shut.

'Cause that worked out

so well last time.

And the palette was all wrong.

They hadn't worked to the spec at all.

And the budget's gone

completely out the window.

I hope you

told them where to stick it.

I did.

I said I can't work like this.

Fix it or go elsewhere.

That's my girl.

You're not going to finish that?

I've got to finish

my coursework for tomorrow.

Okay, love.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Dad.

Smell ya later.

Alex!

Sorry, might be a while.

Bathroom's free.

I just assumed you guys

knew about our parents.

Nah, she didn't mention anything.

sh*t.

- You know, I didn't mean to

- Hey. Don't stress. It's all right.

Mia's just going through it.

Are you good, though, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.

All right.

Oi, Cameron!

- Catch you in a bit.

- Yeah, in a bit, man.

You alright, babes?

Polanco!

- What?

- All right, Polanco?

- What is it?

- We got a surprise for you.

- Just a little thing.

- Let me see.

Nice c*ck, mate.

- So embarrassing.

- The f*ck?

I can't believe you thought

Issy Huckin was sending you nudes.

But the picture?

Yeah, Google Images, mate.

Please, f*ck, no,

this can't be happening.

I can't believe you fell for that!

You wish, man.

If you wanted to see my c*ck,

you should've just asked.

Ooh.

- Where have you sent that?

- It's on the group chat.

It might even be on

the girls' one, too, if you're lucky.

- You're a prick.

- Had you down as a BBC man, Polanco.

What?

Big Black c*ck.

- Got that one from your daddy, I reckon.

- f*ck off.

Alex is more like an LBC guy.

Little Black c*ck.

LBC!

- f*cking hell, Tom, you're too much.

- We're just messing about.

invitation to Paris Couture,

I'm not interested.

Right?

Oi, Theo! Put your boyfriend down.

- So I'm your boyfriend now, apparently.

- And I haven't even taken you out yet.

Mm-mm.

Hey, what about this weekend?

We could go to the cinema,

maybe grab some food?

- Wait, for real?

- Yeah, why not?

I mean, I do have

a very busy social calendar.

- Might have to move some things around.

- f*ck off.

Captain! Come on, bring it in.

- Come on!

- Okay, focus in, yeah, focus in.

We're so close, boys.

Don't drop it now.

Don't give those Holland Park pricks

the satisfaction.

This one's ours to lose.

So get out there.

f*cking enjoy yourselves. Come on!

Come on!

You're not alive

Until you start kicking ♪

When the room is spinning

And the words aren't sticking ♪

Open up.

Yeah, boy. If you need.

And the radio's all about

A runaway model ♪

With a face like sin

And a heart like a James Joyce novel ♪

f*ck.

Saying sister, sister

How I missed ya, missed ya ♪

Let's go wrist to wrist

And take the skin off of my blister ♪

Get up, man, you little p*ssy.

I know you're pissed off,

yeah, but you got to swallow it.

All right? Come on.

Is he talking about

my parents' divorce?

Or my little Black c*ck?

The boys in the better land

The boys in the better land ♪

Alex, come on. Come on.

The boys in the better land ♪

Come on!

Come on, Alex!

- f*ck, man!

- Aw.

Come on, guys. Go again.

Driver's got names

To fill two double-barrels ♪

Oi, LBC.

Don't cry about it, man.

f*ck off, you prick!

f*ck you!

You prick!

Get off him.

- Enough.

- What's he doing?

Come on!

- I can't believe you boxed my nose.

- Shut up.

You actually wanted

to beat the sh*t out of me.

Yeah. You were being a w*nk*r.

But you fully bopped me in my face.

That is so jokes, LBC.

It's not funny.

I don't rate that race stuff.

It's sh*t chat.

You tricked me into sending you a d*ck pic

and now the whole school has seen it.

- You know how embarrassing that is?

- Chill.

It's not even that small.

That is so not the point. It's private.

Now it's everywhere.

If Coach goes on your phone,

we are f*cked.

- He won't.

- You don't know that.

It'll blow over.

Yeah, for you, maybe.

I've got family f*cking therapy later,

and all I'm gonna be able to think about

is the fact that

I'm a newly qualified sex offender.

It's fine. Just say it was me who sent it.

- Obviously, I can't do that.

- Why not?

Because then you'll also

be a sex offender.

- Why are we sex offenders?

- Because it's child porn. We're 15.

sh*t.

Fifteen and sex offenders.

Okay, can you stop saying sex offenders?

Are either of you boys gonna explain

what happened out there?

You f*cked it.

You've absolutely f*cked it.

You can bet neither of you

will be playing on my team

for the rest of the year

if you don't explain.

Somebody better speak up

before I have you both suspended.

You f*cked it so much.

Kiss your future goodbye.

Your name's going on a register

It was my fault.

- Wait, what?

- I started it.

Me and Alex fell out this morning.

And I was pissed off so I said

something about his sister.

And it was meant to be a joke,

but I took it too far.

Is that true, Alex?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's true.

Off you go, Thomas.

I'll deal with you later.

Look, Alex.

I know your family has a lot going on.

How are things at home?

We're all having a jolly old time.

Um we're coping.

You know, it's okay not to be okay, bud.

Who are you?

The Dalai f*cking Lama?

I know you're worried about Mia,

but I hear she's doing really well.

It's remarkable to see her back on top

of things, after all she's been through.

And you always do okay,

yeah, don't you, bud?

Here we go again.

Your sister is wonderful.

I haven't reported you to the head.

This time.

I was a scrappy teenager once myself.

I do get it.

Thanks, Coach.

But physical aggression like that

is never acceptable.

I did have to

call your mother and tell her.

Well, isn't that

just f*cking fantastic.

Please, God, make it so that

my sister hasn't seen my naked p*nis.

You're disgusting.

Alex?

Issy. Um

Hey.

Are you okay? What happened out there?

Sorry, I, um

It was just, you know

boy stuff.

Did that sound g*y?

Boy stuff?

Definitely sounded g*y.

Anyway, I, um I hope you're okay.

I was just wondering

if you were doing anything later.

I thought that maybe we could work on

the Parker Newtown application together.

You know, two brains

better than one and all that.

Um

- This has got to be a joke.

- I mean, no biggie if you don't fancy it.

Does she know? She has to know.

You know what?

Don't worry about it. I'll manage.

Have I done something?

- What?

- Like, have I done something wrong?

Um

Tell her the truth.

Obviously, just tell her the truth.

Sorry, I've I've got go. Um

At least you didn't punch her.

Ugh, as if this day

couldn't get any worse.

Grounded for life. Bags packed

and kicked out onto the street. Jail time.

Today of all days, Alex.

Really?

Let's just try and focus on Mia, shall we?

That's it?

That's the moment you realize

you're not even worth being mad at.

Because it will only ever be about her.

Hello, darling. How was today?

- Did you manage your lunch okay?

- Can we not with the 20 questions?

Sorry, sorry.

Ooh, I managed to get a hold

of Miss Lambert. Have you spoken to her?

- Are we gonna go?

- Okay.

Seat belts on. Let's go, team.

Hi.

Hi, hi, hi, hi.

Hey, Dad.

- You're late, but

- We're here now, aren't we?

How was school, Meems?

How about you, Al? Good day?

Ah-ha! It's the Polancos.

- Come on up.

- Thank you.

This is gonna hurt.

Today is not about

finding easy answers.

We are beginning

a constructive and honest dialogue

to help aid Mia's recovery.

There is no judgment within these walls.

Hm? Does that sound okay to everyone?

We're all very much on board.

Aren't we, darlings?

Right, so, how have things been

since Mia came home?

It's like we've got our girl back.

In the months before she went away,

I mean, she was unrecognizable.

Not just physically, you know.

She was lying.

She'd become a little deceitful

and, uh, self-centered,

and Meems isn't like that.

Do you think that's

a fair assessment, Mia?

Uncanny.

I understand that it's been

a difficult time for all of you

with Dad leaving the family home.

How do you feel

you're coping with the change, Mia?

Well, you've been

doing really well, haven't you?

She's just so focused on her recovery.

Maybe we should

talk about what you think

are any obstacles

that could inhibit Mia's recovery.

I'm not talking about apportioning blame,

but anticipating triggers

can really help us cope better with them.

Right, well, no expert, but, um

I think there's a lot of pressure

on young people these days

to look perfect, isn't there?

And you've got, uh,

magazines and reality TV,

and then there's the tweeting

and the liking the Instagram,

and then the TikToks.

And it's just this constant

comparison to each other.

I mean, it's no wonder why

so many of them end up like this.

Yep, you've nailed it. All down to TikTok.

Perhaps what Mia is trying to say

is that those sentiments

may be true in a general sense,

but they might not be applicable

to her personal experience.

Rick. How do you think

Mia is finding the adjustment?

I don't know.

I mean, Mia's on track, but

it can't have helped.

Come on.

Obviously, finding out my entire family

was lying to me was totally sh*t.

I've been in the dark.

But, you know,

things may not be as easy for me

as they are for perfect little Alex,

but that doesn't mean

you need to shut me out.

We were doing

what we thought was best.

We were covering for you.

Because you were too much of a coward

to tell your daughter

that while she was in hospital,

you were too busy

finding yourself a new girlfriend.

I was protecting her.

- She wouldn't have ended up in hospital

- Here we go. Martyr Rick.

- repressed every sign

- I repressed?

- You paid no attention!

- Can we just please

Let's just press the pause button here.

Alex, how does this make you feel?

Yeah.

They're always blaming each other.

And neither of them

see the damage that they're doing.

You've been lying to Mia for months,

and you roped me into it

because you can rely on Alex.

Dependable, perfect Alex.

As if any of you have given me

the option to be anything but.

You you just expect me

to keep your secrets,

to look out for Mia, to get good grades,

to not take up space, to be okay,

but what if I'm not f*cking okay?

None of you thought about that

'cause apparently I don't matter anymore.

I have tried my best not to hate you, Mia,

but ever since you've been ill,

it's like I'm invisible.

I am a f*cking shadow, and I am tired.

You and your illness

just swallow up everything,

and I'm sick of it.

I cannot keep shrinking myself

to make room for your anorexia.

Okay? I can't.

So if you are so set

on slowly f*cking k*lling yourself again,

please just put us all

out of our misery and just do it.

Alex?

I'm just

really proud of how far Mia's come.

Mm. Mm.

How can you be so angry

at something that's partially your fault?

You could consider couples therapy.

I do know a good therapist

who I think could help.

Oh, f*ck.

Okay.

Have a think.

Alex, I know how hard

this must be for you.

If ever you need to talk,

you know where I am.

Most people pay attention

to the lead guitar,

the vocalist, and the drummer.

But people who know,

they take note of the bass.

Because it is the bass

who quietly holds the band together.

Right, I think I need

to pop back to the office.

I think that went really well.

Anybody want a lift?

I've got my car.

Shall we get some food on the way home?

I've got plans.

Mia?

- Mia, are you okay?

- Just go away.

I'm not going anywhere.

I don't know why

I'm doing this. I'm sorry.

So stupid.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Sorry.

You've got

nothing to be sorry for.

I didn't take shrooms.

No?

I already feel so out of control and

And the only way

I know how to deal with things is

I think you made the right call.

Yeah?

I don't know,

I just feel like I'm failing.

You're not failing.

I've got an idea.

- Come on.

- Okay.

Why did you bring me here?

It's where I come to escape.

To think, you know?

Get perspective.

Thinking about the people down there

with all their own sh*t.

How many of them do you think

have to endure family therapy?

How many of them need it

is the real question.

It's sh*t that Dad left.

Sorry I wasn't there

when it got bad.

- Sorry all of this is happening.

- It's not your fault.

Isn't it?

I know I've put you all through so much.

That was your illness.

That wasn't you.

I guess I'm scared they won't be

different things for very long.

It wasn't fair of them to make you lie.

The thing is

I don't know.

I think we all do sh*t because

we think it's the right thing to do.

And sometimes it's not,

and we can't change

what we've already done,

but we can, like,

try and be better next time.

Make better mistakes for better reasons.

Oh my God.

Look at me. I am a total mess,

and my little brother

is right about everything.

f*cked it today.

Mm, yeah, you completely f*cked it.

Multiple times. With a chainsaw.

But Issy seems cool.

Hmm. Maybe you can redeem yourself.

I don't know.

She's seen my p*nis.

I know, but

she also clearly likes you.

You should ask her

to help you with that application.

You know, charm her

with your freaky genius brain.

- Send the f*cking text.

- Okay, I'll send the text.

All right. I'll send it,

I'll send it, I'll send it.

I'm sending it. I'm sending it.

- f*ck. Oh my God, no.

- God. Okay, okay, okay.

Ooh.

It's beautiful, innit?

Innit.

Innit.

Love you.

Love you too.

It's good to have you back, Mia.

Socks and sliders

Everywhere and every day ♪

Full English breakfast

At a caff, not a café ♪

No, no, baby

We don't let strangers come our way ♪

But you should come

To my hood, my hood, my hood ♪

One day, you'll learn

not to hurt the people you love most.

I'll show you gangsters

Don't you go running your mouth ♪

Mopeds are racing

2:00 a.m. outside my house ♪

Oh yeah, it's loud

But come to my hood, my hood, my hood ♪

Coming from the land

Of wings and chicken fillets ♪

Where you're from, man won't

Be able to read but he can bill it ♪

You can see why that's a problem

Any given problem ♪

Staring in my face?

Imma ask you, "What's the problem?" ♪

You can be Bane or you can be Robin ♪

But we've got a lot of Dark Knights

Living up in Gotham ♪

Man, there's babies having babies, man

It's crazy up in my hood ♪

This got me praying

That I die good ♪

Where we'd rather buy g*ns

Before we buy books ♪

Where they left us in the dark

So we light kush, my hood ♪

There's no place like home

No place like home ♪

Buy me any ticket, I don't wanna go ♪

To a town

Where there's no one like me round ♪

Don't take me there or anywhere ♪

On these streets, these streets

In the dark, we glow ♪

On these streets, these streets

We're high when it's low ♪

On these streets, these streets

Through concrete, flowers grow ♪

In my hood, my hood, my hood, my hood ♪

You should come to my hood

My hood, my hood