03x10 - Remy's Recipe/Vampire Chaperone

[bunniefuu]

♪ Vampirina ♪

♪ We were normal vampires
In Transylvania ♪

♪ Like the other monsters
On every block ♪

♪ Till we packed our things
And we flapped our wings ♪

♪ And we got a case
Of human race culture shock ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, Vampirina ♪

♪ I may be blue
With pointy teeth ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, Vampirina ♪

♪ But I'm not so different
Underneath ♪

♪ It's true that our taste
♪ May be a little offbeat ♪

♪ But we're the battiest
Monsters you'll ever meet ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, Vampirina ♪

♪ A ghoulish girl
In a human world ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, Vampirina ♪

♪ It may seem strange
But it's true ♪

♪ I'm just like you ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, Vampirina ♪

[Vampirina]
"Remy's Recipe."

[Remy humming]

Hi, Chef Remy.
What's for lunch?

Whatever it is,
it smells good.

Because it is made by moi.

But it is a surprise.

Oh, can you give us a hint?

No, no, no.
Now, shoo.

Maybe I can get just one little,

teeny tiny snack.

Ah! It's raining carrots!

[yelling]

Looks like your carrots
got away, Chef Remy.

It is my new kitchen
security system,

to keep away see
hungry ghosts.

Who, me?

Only I'm allowed
in my secret spice cabinet,

my special spoon drawer,

the snack lair.

You get the idea.

[giggles]

We'll wait until
lunch is ready.

Vee. Poppy.
I'm in a weirdness jam.

I promised my monster fans

a new episode
of my Web show by tonight,

but I got nothing!

I need something
monster-jaw-dropping.

Presenting, screamtious
spider sandwiches.

Ah-ha.

For my little spiders.

That was awesome!

Chef Remy, you'd be perfect
for my episode.

-Moi?
-[Edgar] Yeah!

Your dishes are meant
for the worldwide cobweb.

[giggles]

And my stomach.

Mm!

That's a spooktacular idea.

We could call it
"Cooking With Chef Remy."

Ooh-la-la. The opportunity
to show the whole monster world

what a one-of-a-kind chef I am?

I love it!

All right, monsters,
look alive.

We got a show to do.

All right,
my little sous chefs.

First, we will wow everyone
with my famous blob on the cob.

Then my bone-chilling chili.

And for dessert:
apple pie à la moat.

Mwah!

Just think, Chef Remy,

now every monster
in Transylvania

will know how to make
your amazing recipes.

Even moi.

Oh! No, no, no.

Surely everyone won't be able
to make my recipes

exactly like I do.

That's what a cooking show
is for.

To share your recipes
with everyone,

so they can make them.

-[Remy] Oh!
-[Vampirina] Everything okay?

I need to, uh,
powder my bones.

Excusez-moi.

Oh!

This is terrible.

I cannot share my recipes
with the whole monster world.

There will be fake Chef Remys
all over Transylvania,

cooking my food.

And my food is what makes me
spookily special.

Oh, don't look at me
like that.

You always make me cry.

[sniffles]

But I know
what I have to do.

I am not sharing anything.

Ready, Chef?

My fans are counting on me
for a new episode by tonight.

All you have to do
is show how to make each dish

step by step.

Don't forget to announce
the ingredients.

And say how much.

I always mix up
teaspook and tablespook.

All right, slime is money,
people.

Places.

Lights. Camera. Action.

[recording of audience cheering]

-Hi, I'm Vampirina.
-And I'm Poppy.

Welcome to a special edition
of "Weekly Weirdness."

"Cooking with Chef Remy."

Here to show you how to make
his monster-rific recipes,

it's skelebrity chef,
Remy Bones!

[applause]

-[rattling]
-Oh!

Oh. Bonjour.

And give a howl of applause
for the amazing Demi!

[laughs]
Oh, thank you! Thank you!

You're too much.

Ah!

[rattles]

Today, Chef Remy
is going to show us

how to make his blob on the cob.

What do we do first?

Well, you see...

Plenty of cob, blob,

and Chef Remy's
secret ingredient.

Wait!

There is no
secret ingredient.

Just blob and cob.
No need to demonstrate.

But where's the boo butter
and the--?

Ah! Let's move on.

Uh, like any good chef,

Remy only cooks
when inspiration strikes.

That's what makes his food
so special.

Right!

So perhaps it is time
for me to--

Inspire everyone to learn how to
make your bone-chilling chili?

Oui. Ahem.

First, chop this, add that,
then more of this,

a little bit of that,
a pinch of a that,

and now stirring, stirring,
simmer, taste and voilà.

Did you get any of that?

Not really.

Chef Remy, I think we might want
to slow it down

for the monsters at home

so they can learn
how you made it.

We start with Transylvanian
tomatoes, right?

Yes?

Two skulls of spellery,

onion and scarrots.

Then you zoomed over here
to add the shriek spice--

No! Oh!

What I mean is,
no shriek spice.

All you need is...

salt.

Mm. Are you sure?

Because it tastes like
there's all sorts of spices

and spookiful flavors
going on in here.

Nope. Nothing else.

It is very simple.

-Huh?
-Let's move on to dessert.

Chef Remy is going to show us
how to make

his underworld
famous apple pie.

I can't wait to see
you flood the moat

with screamy caramel sauce.

It is one of my most
precious recipes.

Great. How do we start?

Huh? With apples, of course.

[laughs nervously]

Hey, what did you just add?

[laughs]
Nothing.

Wow.

You must have
added something.

Nice.

I need a close-up of this.

My fans want
all the details.

No! I can't!

I can't...
remember this recipe.

Oh, dear!

And I thought
I was the diva.

Does anyone get the feeling

Chef Remy's not acting
like himself?

He's definitely
acting strange.

And not the good
kind of strange.

I should go talk to him.

But, Vee, I promised my fans
a new episode

in less than an hour.

But how are we going to do
the show without Chef Remy?

I just need a couple shots
of dessert, and that's it.

Please?

Okay. Places, everyone.

-Action.
-Just Vee and Poppy here,

making apple pie à la moat.

First you need apples,
then...

Over to you, Poppy.

Well, you make the filling
with lots of ingredients.

Demi? A little help?

Oh, I've seen Chef Remy
make this hundreds of times.

All you do is throw in
some apples and...

I forget what's next!

I thought you said you made it

hundreds of times.

What I meant was I've eaten it

Thousands, actually.

Just do something.

Oh! Yes.

[clears throat]

Give everything
a little stir.

Oh, we'll use
Chef Remy's whisk.

Okay. Oh! Bad whisk.

Help! I'm being whisked away!

Don't mind Demi.

I bet Chef Remy
uses cinnamon in his pie.

[gasps]

Wait, Poppy. Don't.

Whoa! Not the carrots again.

[laughs]

En garde,
you veggies.

[grunts and yelps]

Cut! I'll never finish
my Web show like this.

We really need Chef Remy
to show us how it's done.

He wasn't exactly willing
to share his culinary creations.

Oh!

Come on, he's got this place
more guarded

than a warlock's castle.

It's like he doesn't want anyone
making his recipes.

You're right.

He didn't want us to know
any of the ingredients.

Or any of his
cooking secrets.

Then why did he want
to do my show?

He knew I'd be showing it
to all my fans.

I don't know.
But what I do know is,

these recipes are
Chef Remy originals.

They do make him
a one-of-a-kind chef.

I think I know
what's going on.

[Remy sobbing]

Chef Remy?

Hello, little one.

Oh, I am so sorry
I forgot my recipes.

Did you really
forget your recipes,

or is it that you don't want
to share them with anyone?

[sighs]

-I do not want to share.
-But why?

My food is what makes me
skeletally special.

If everyone knows my recipes,

well, I am just an ordinary
bag of bones.

But what you're sharing is more
than just a list of ingredients.

It's your love of food.

And that's something that will
always make you special.

Hm. Well, I've never
thought of it like that.

Sharing the things you love
can be a spooktacular thing.

It can even inspire
other monsters

to love cooking and food
as much as you.

Just like my great-grandmère
Bones did for me.

Oh!

She taught me everything.

Like how to crack an egg,

or how to keep my hands
from falling into the soup.

So maybe you can share
with your friends,

just like your grandmère
shared with you?

Oui. I will do it.

After all, if I share
my recipes,

I am sharing my heart.

And I suppose that is what
makes me spookily special.

[giggles]

Exactly.

You'll always be the one
and only Chef Remy Bones.

♪ Oh, my great-grandmère Bones
Shared her passion with me ♪

♪ When she shared
Every last recipe ♪

♪ And now Chef Remy Bones
Will be like great-grandmère ♪

♪ I will share them
With monsters out there ♪

♪ I will share my heart
With the world ♪

♪ That's the way that a chef
Ought to live ♪

♪ When you share your heart
With the world ♪

♪ You get back much more
Than you give ♪

♪ I keep my recipes
Save on the shelf ♪

♪ Afraid I'd lose
Part of myself ♪

♪ But my passion for food
Is what makes me unique ♪

♪ And to share would betray
Magnifique ♪

♪ I will share my heart
With the world ♪

♪ Because every good
Skeleton knows ♪

♪ When you share your heart
With the world ♪

♪ Your bone-chilling heart
Only grows ♪

[all gasping
and chattering excitedly]

Presenting...

a Chef Remy Bones meal.

From my heart to yours.

Chef Remy, Vee, my fans love
the show and your dishes.

[Vampirina]
That's bat-tastic news.

[Remy]
Ooh-la-la.

Oh, that warms my heart.

Like a good soup.

Aren't you glad you shared your
recipes with the monster world?

Of course! Oh, and thank you,
little Vee.

Sharing the food that I love
feels spooktastically special.

And so do I.

[Vampirina]
"Vampire Chaperone."

-Batkins.
-Vee!

Mama, Papa, guess what.

Tomorrow is the school
field trip.

And we're going
on a nature walk.

How fangtastic.

Ah, that reminds me
of the enchanted forest walks

we used to go on at your
old school in Transylvania.

Remember, Vee? We'd catch creepy
crawlies, track werewolves,

find spooky lagoons.

How could I forget?

You were a scary-good guide.

It says here that Vee's school
needs volunteers

to be chaperones.

Which is why I wanted to--

I thought you'd never ask!

I'd love to be your chaperone.

You can't be a chaperone,
you goofy ghoul.

Yes, I can.

What's a chaperone again?

Someone who goes with the kids
to watch after them.

In this case, human kids who
aren't used to seeing ghosts.

Right.

I am 100% certified ghost.

No bones about it.

Because I don't have bones.

[giggles]

Papa, would you be a chaperone
on my field trip?

Hmm. I have been wanting
to get more involved

in your human school.

So you'll do it?

You bet your bat wings I will.

-Yay!
-Oh, my first human field trip.

What should I bring?
What should I wear?

This field trip is going to be
terror-rific.

[school bell rings]

Your dad as a chaperone?

-That'll be fun.
-And spooky.

But I love your dad.

Vee, I have to be
in his group.

Can you get me in?

[giggles]
I'll try.

Just wait until you see
all the bat-tastic stuff

my dad does.

He was the best
back in Transylvania.

♪ Papa's petrifying
Nature walks ♪

♪ Are monster-rific
To the max ♪

♪ Just wait until you see
His scary socks ♪

♪ And get a load
Of Papa's Spooky Packs ♪

♪ It's a day
Of chills and shocks ♪

♪ On Papa's monstrous
Nature walks ♪

♪ Papa knows each creepy bug
That crawls ♪

♪ And all the crawly things
That creep ♪

♪ And Papa's famous trademark
Monster calls ♪

♪ Can even summon creatures
From the deep ♪

♪ Listen as he shrieks
And squawks ♪

♪ On Papa's monstrous
Nature walks ♪

♪ His nature walks will surely
Chill you to the bone ♪

♪ A three-time Transylvanian
Most Fantastic Chaperone ♪

♪ Watch him as he turns
Into a bat ♪

♪ To find the ghoulest birds
To watch ♪

♪ Or pack a monster lunch
In seconds flat ♪

♪ His floating sandwiches
Are all top-notch ♪

♪ Trust me when I say it rocks ♪

♪ On Papa's monstrous
Nature walks ♪

And he keeps all his supplies
in his signature Spooky Pack.

Cool!

I like the part
about tracking monsters.

Can he really fly up and tell us
where all the birds are?

Well, in Transylvania
they were mostly boo jays,

zombie flamingos and phoenixes.

But it's pretty much
the same idea.

Do you think your dad
will do all that stuff

at a human school?

Sure. I know he has to hide
his vampire side

from the other kids,

but I'm sure he'll still be
his spooktacular self

for me and my friends.

-[Boris] Hello!
-Huh?

Vee. Bridget. Peeplesons.

Why is your dad
dressed like that?

And where's all
his vampire stuff?

I'm not sure.

But don't worry.

My dad always has a plan.

Class, say hello
to our parent chaperones.

Hello, munchkins.

We are going to have
such a swell time.

Yes, I am excited to go
on this human--

I mean, regular field trip
with all of you.

Oh, man, Mr. Gore says I have
to go in my mom's group.

Which means I'm going to miss
the Spooky Pack

and the monster tracking.

Why?

Don't forget the monster-rific
lunches.

-[all] Demi?
-What are you doing here?

Oh, I'd never miss
a Boris nature walk.

Besides, didn't you say that
you wanted me to come with you?

-I could've sworn I heard that.
-[giggles]

As long as you stay
in my backpack.

Now you have a ghost too?

Some kids have
all the luck.

We're going to have
the best time.

Can we show my friends
your famous Spooky Pack, Papa?

I have something even better,
batkins.

This human pack.

It's all the rage.

Huh. My mom has one
just like that.

[laughs]

Just wait till you see
all the new things I brought.

It'll be fun.

Follow me.

New things?

[Demi]
No Spooky Pack?

How can we go on a nature walk
without one?

I know. But I'm sure Papa has
something spooktacular planned.

Papa, shouldn't we get started
on our nature walk activities?

You're bat-solutely right, Vee.

Today we will be
bird-watching.

This is where my dad
turns into a bat

to find the best birds.

-Won't the other kids see him?
-Don't worry.

We've gotten good
at transforming

when no one's looking.

And I'm pretty good at floating
when no one's looking.

[gasps]

Hm.

[all sigh]

All right, my humans.

Are you excited to see

my special method
for looking at birds?

-Go Papa!
-[boy] Yeah!

-Ah-ha.
-Huh?

Humans use this peer-o-scope
to find birds.

Isn't that just batty?

I think that's a periscope.

For submarines.

Are you sure?

-Oh, well, let's give it a shot.
-Oh, can I try?

[boys laugh]

Sorry, I guess Papa's
not going to turn

into a bat after all.

That's okay.

I think the peer-oscope
is kind of cool.

But turning into a bat
is Boris's special move.

He could lure a griffin
from miles away.

That's right.

Papa can roar like a monster,
howl like a werewolf.

You name it.

Maybe name something
not so scary.

How about a friendly ghost?

[laughs]

Can you do your animal calls,
Papa?

Ah, you remember
how good I was at that

back in Transylvania,
eh, Vee?

Well, just watch this.
Ahem.

[inhales deeply]

-[blows bird whistle]
-Huh?

Papa, what is that?

It's my new human
bird whistle.

I'm using it to call
the indigo bunting.

They sound like this.

[imitating birdcall]

-[bird tweeting]
-[gasps]

Yes, exactly like that.

[blowing bird whistle]

Did your dad use a whistle
like that in Transylvania?

No. He's not doing anything
like he used to.

The birdie flew away.

Oh, well.
You know what humans say.

The early worm
gets the bird.

-Early worm? That's funny.
-[all laugh]

-[boy] Could I try?
-Of course!

Your dad might not be doing
the same stuff he used to,

but I still want
to try the bird whistle.

Me too.

[Mr. Gore]
Time for lunch, nature walkers.

[gasps]

Hear that, humans?
Now, we feast.

Hopefully lunch
will be better.

Oh, lunch makes
everything better.

So, what are all
the cool vampire things

you got to do
with Vee's dad?

Actually, we've been mostly
doing human things.

Really?

How's Mom's group?

We saw a spotted owl.

It looked like
it was sleeping,

but then its head spun
all the way around.

It was so creepy.
And pretty great.

Miss Peepleson's nature walk
is creepier than Papa's?

Everything okay, Vee?

It's just Papa's
acting strange,

and not in the good way.

If you're worried,
maybe you should talk to him.

Poppy's right.
You should--

[sniffs]

Wait, I smell food.

You know,
never do anything

on an empty stomach,

that's what I always say.

It must be one of Papa's
monster-rific lunches.

All right, group.

I thought I would whip up
something a little special.

Instead of a normal
human lunch,

I combined two
of my favorite human lunches

to form one mega
human lunch.

May I present, the spaghetti
and tuna fish sandwich.

-[Poppy] Whoa.
-[Bridget] Interesting?

What is that?

-Ew!
-I don't think so.

Papa, what happened
to the monster-rific lunches

you always used to pack
in Transylvania?

This lunch will be a hit
with your classmates, Vee.

I did a search on
the World Wide human-Web.

Turns out, humans love
spaghetti and tuna fish.

Oh, and sandwiches.

That's three of my favorite
human foods.

-I guess so, but--
-Hold on, batkins.

I just have to feed
your hungry classmates,

then I'm all yours.

I thought Papa's lunches
were the one thing

I could count on.

[Demi, tearfully]
Me too.

That's the whole reason
I came along..

What's a hungry ghost to do?

I don't understand.

I know Papa can't always
do his vampire things,

but I didn't expect him
to be so different.

He's being too human.

I think he's just trying
to fit in at your new school.

But I don't want him to change
who he is just to fit in.

[sighs]

I miss the old,
spooky Papa.

The old papa?

[sighs]

What was that?

Oh, no!

I think my dad
might've heard what I said.

I hope I didn't
hurt his feelings.

Wait. Papa.

I'm sorry.

Please don't leave.

I'm not leaving, batkins.

I just came to get this.

[Vampirina, gasps]
Your Spooky Pack!

But why didn't you
bring it with you?

My friends are used
to a little spookiness by now.

You can just be yourself.

But batkins,
I am being myself.

But you're not doing the things
you used to do.

I know,
but people change.

And so do vampires.

I love human culture,
and learning about Pennsylvania.

That's why I stayed up
all night

to do research for my first
human school trip.

I guess I missed the way
it used to be.

Nature walks were one of our
special "Vee and Papa" things.

And they still can be.

Vee, even when things change,

one thing will always
stay the same.

I will always be your same,
silly old Papa underneath.

I guess you were pretty silly
today on the nature walk.

Even if it wasn't
what I was expecting.

[laughs]

I love you, Papa.

I love you too, batkins.

Change can be scary,

and not always
in the fun way.

So I brought a monster-rific
lunch for you,

just in case.

[gasps]
Really?

Thanks, Papa.

-[boy] Yeah!
-[laughter]

Yummy.

Yum.

You ate my spaghetti
and tuna sandwiches?

Yeah, they looked
real weird...

and then tasted
really weird.

But I love weird.

Who knew spaghetti would taste
so delicious on a sandwich?

I saved one
for you, Vee.

Vee already has a monster-rific
lunch ready for her.

Actually, I want to try the
spaghetti and tuna sandwich.

You do?

Even though these are different
ingredients than usual,

it's still a special
field trip lunch

made by the best chaperone,
and Papa, ever.

[Demi]
Oh, good,

because I sort of already
ate the other lunch.

Demi!

[all laugh]