02x04 - Spirit Week

[bunniefuu]

[Charles] Julie, it's 8:44 a.m.

on October 16th.

It's been three weeks

since the Berenger email leaks started.

Another one hit this morning.

More details on his exorbitant salary.

I have a new theory that feels

promising, and I'll report more

when I see you in

Berenger's office later.

Nieuwendyk out.

- What did Wheeler find?

- I'm sorry?

What did Wheeler find?

- I have no ide

- Wrong! [laughs]

[spitting] Ow!

Did anyone see that?!

[Mona] I'm so sorry.

I should've told you about this.

The Gold Rush tradition is

you have to answer Wheeler's Riddle,

or you get glitter bombed.

I don't know what that means.

Just all right, back

it up one more step.

Okay. Gold Rush is an entire week

of activities and traditions.

The most important one

is Wheeler's Riddle.

Answer correctly, that means you get it.

You're a real Wheelerite,

and you receive a red bandana.

Answer it wrong you get this.

Hey. So, what's the answer to the riddle?

You have to figure that out for yourself.

That's the whole point.

That's the way to become one of us.

You should be grateful.

In the early days of Gold Rush,

they used to throw mud.

Because mud is what you have

to sift through to get gold.

See? You're on your way.

Get on board with this, bud.

You are not exempt from Gold Rush

just because you're brilliant and kind

and have a tight butt.

- [laughs]

- You think I have a tight butt?

Like a pool tarp. [laughs]

This is on him.

- [laughs]

- Hi. What did Wheeler find?

You can do it too?

[theme music playing]

They make this stuff seem so salacious.

Yes, I get an extra $50,000

if I get a major corporate sponsor.

So what? It's a win-win.

I do enjoy parking

in the Pepsi/T-Mobile covered garage

brought to you by Sephora.

I have half a mind

to march right down to that paper

and demand they give up their sources.

That's a very bad idea, Jack.

It'll backfire.

Are those frozen peas?

Yes. I get migraines.

This is the only thing that helps.

Holly's right.

And in a way, this is really good.

The blackmailer is showing their cards,

so we can use this to close in.

You better.

I want that laptop found immediately.

Actually, we have an exciting new lead.

Turns out there was at least one student

on campus when your laptop was stolen.

Our new suspect?

Claire Chung.

She worked the Vinick event as a caterer.

That photo was taken with my spy glasses

the night the painting was burned.

Charles very smartly hired her

as a research assistant

to determine if she has motive.

And Operation Claire

is already in motion.

- [jaunty music playing]

- [bus horn honks]

The professors

are still the primary suspects,

so while Charles focuses on Claire,

I'm gonna continue formal interviews.

Okay, if that's it, let's get to work.

[Jack] Ah!

Yeah, sorry.

I used AI to make that.

Okay, so box one is

information on sustainability

and suspension bridge design.

Box two is a bunch of articles

on the history of suspension bridges.

Box three is articles on Jeff Bridges.

I fell down a rabbit hole,

but he's fascinating.

And box four is my laundry,

so don't open it. It's gross.

Very thorough.

Yeah, I don't know

anything about the subject,

so I kind of grabbed

everything I could find.

Is there something else

I can get started on?

The earlier you tell me, the better.

I have 12 other campus jobs.

- [laughing] Yeah.

- Oh, that's not a joke.

I literally have 12 other jobs.

Jeez. When do you sleep?

In class.

Maybe you should ask President Berenger

for some cash.

- [scoffs]

- Seems to be rolling in it nowadays.

Oh my God, that guy sucks.

Oh no, is he a friend of yours?

- No.

- [laughing] Oh, thank God.

He's my son.

[laughing] I'm kidding. Sorry.

- Professor!

- I couldn't resist.

- Do you have contact with him?

- Sorry. I have to go get laundry done.

The next free hour I'll have

is when I'm a senior.

Okay. No, please, go. Go.

Thank you.

[intriguing music playing]

[Max] Morning! I graded

all your midterm papers!

You're all real journalists now.

I'll bet you think

that makes you frickin' rock stars.

Well, guess what?

It frickin' does!

You are rock stars

because you expose the levers of power

that the elites pull to screw over

normal citizens like you and me.

As George Orwell said,

"Journalism is printing something

that someone doesn't want printed."

"Everything else is public relations."

He also said

some real bad stuff about g*y people.

It was a different time.

Berenger's emails

are being leaked to the newspaper.

You're the faculty advisor

to the newspaper.

The student editors of the Daily Wheeler

have 100% editorial independence.

They show up day one,

and I say, "Tell the truth"

And that's all I say.

There's other stuff.

There's other stuff I have to say.

I have to talk about Wi-Fi passwords and

the thermostat in the closet is janky,

so you gotta toggle the switch.

Junk like that, but mostly

Yeah, mostly, it's that truth thing.

Okay. Well, what are your thoughts

on Berenger?

Wheeler used to have good presidents.

You know, homegrown,

invested in Wheeler's future.

[hesitates] Berenger

is a corporate parasite.

The board hired him

to run this like a business.

They're getting what they paid for.

Mr. Griffin, I really want

to help Wheeler College.

I can't do that

unless I know who's behind the leaks.

I'll make it easy for you, Ms. Kovalenko.

Even if I knew who the leak was,

I wouldn't tell you.

I would literally rather be jailed

and never ride my motorcycle again

than betray a journalistic source.

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm parked really far away.

I'm not gonna wear this

to where I'm parked.

- I understand.

- Good.

- What did Wheeler find?

- Oh, God.

Okay. Look, could you actually

I have a meeting, and I'd rather not

Oh, just do it.

[student giggles]

[Charles] Okay, what did Wheeler find?

- [sad trombone music plays]

- [acorn giggles]

Rude. Acorns don't have butts.

[phone rings out]

- Hey, Dad.

- [Charles] Quick question.

What did Wheeler find?

Oh my God. Is it Gold Rush?

Oh, Gold Rush is the best.

Did you get glitter bombed?

How many times?

So many. Look, I just need you

to make this stop, please.

Just tell me the answer

to this stupid riddle.

What is wrong with you? You know I can't.

Emily, I can't I need

Tell me the answer this minute,

or you are grounded.

Dad. I know this seems silly,

but it's actually very important.

You have to figure this out by yourself.

I love you. Good luck with the glitter.

- [gentle music playing]

- [phone disconnects]

Did you see the latest leak

about Berenger and his bonuses?

I'm telling you, that guy is sus.

I have grandkids, so when it comes

to conversing with younger people,

I eat and leave no crumbs.

[laughing] Okay, bet.

My friend is one

of the editors of the paper.

Some random account

called the Wheeler Guardian

is just sending them emails

and, like, secret files and stuff.

- Mm.

- I guess Berenger got hacked.

Everyone thinks it's hilarious.

- Well, nobody likes that guy, huh?

- Literally no.

He became president

like right before I got here,

and I was supposed to go

on this camping retreat

for incoming first years, and he

cut the program at the last second.

Yeah, my daughter went

on that camping trip years ago.

She met her husband there.

- See? That's amazing.

- Yeah.

Berenger just doesn't care

about stuff like that.

Wheeler isn't just my school, you know?

It's my home, and he's ruining it.

You were supposed to meet me

at the room 20 minutes ago.

- I had to use Find My Friend.

- God.

I totally lost track of time. Uh

Professor, This is Hayley, my roommate.

Nice to meet you.

Sorry to interrupt,

but we're late for rowing practice.

I was cold, so I stole your sweatshirt.

Oh, that's fine. I stole your overalls.

- Oh my God. They look so good on you.

- I know, right?

I promise I'll get this done

as quick as possible.

- All good. Go. Have fun.

- [Claire] Okay.

- [Hayley] Keep them.

- [Claire] Really?

- Yes.

- Want that sweater?

- Are you kidding? Yes.

- It's cute.

What did Wheeler find?

Whatever you're about to do,

I would think twice.

Uh, y Yes, ma'am.

[cell phone ringing]

- Hey.

- [Charles] Hey, Julie. Great news.

All the kids here think I'm really cool.

Also, Claire hates Berenger.

And she has access to the newspaper,

so she had motive and means.

I'm telling you,

something's going on here.

Okay. Send me updates.

Okay. Bet.

Ugh.

Hey. What did Wheeler find?

Oh, come on!

You're gonna have to clean it up!

Worth it.

[intriguing music playing]

Oh, the structural engineer.

Been out marveling at walls, have you?

Help. Please.

So, to be clear, a riddle easily solved

by 18-year-old children

has kerfuffled

your intellectual processing.

Just give me a hint.

I've swallowed an entire disco ball.

Have you noticed

I don't like you very much?

- I have.

- Oh, good.

I worried that perhaps you were too busy

thinking about rivets.

The reason I don't like you very much

is that recently,

to save money,

Wheeler College has resorted

to hiring visiting lecturers,

like you, instead of tenured professors.

Now, the least you can do

in your short time here

is attempt to understand why those of us

who have devoted our lives

to this school care so deeply.

Fair enough.

How?

You seem to have bonded

with Professor Margadoff.

Find her and tell her that you would like

to walk the Golden Path.

That sounds a lot slower

than you just telling me.

Oh, it's much slower!

[inquisitive music playing]

Essentially, the moral calculations

surrounding actions

should not be limited

to what happens immediately.

Thank you, everyone.

See you Friday.

Now a good time to talk?

Sure. I have about an hour.

Sorry, Professor.

Can I just ask a quick ethical question?

My roommate cut her own bangs.

And you want to know

if you can lie and say they look good.

Okay, yeah. This has happened before.

So here's my position on this.

Yeah. Good.

Take notes. I have a lot of thoughts.

Let me gather them.

So in that sense there is no difference

between giving yourself curtain bangs

and committing the mass m*rder

of innocent civilians.

I think that's as close

as we're gonna get to a moral answer.

Wow, that was incredible.

Thank you so much.

Sorry about that.

I have a standing rule

that any student can come to me

with a moral dilemma at any time,

and I'll talk it out with them.

It's a moot point by now.

You talked for so long,

that girl's bangs have grown out.

I'll cut to the chase.

Did you steal Vinick's portrait

and burn it in the garbage can?

It would be ironic

for a professor of moral philosophy

to be involved in arson.

Not an answer.

Nobody can account for your whereabouts

the last ten minutes of the party.

Where were you?

Well, to answer that question,

we first need to ask another one.

How does any of us really know

if we are ever truly anywhere?

Oh my God!

Okay, I am going to assume

that your moral code means you can't lie.

So I'll make this easy.

Did you burn the painting?

- No.

- Do you know who did?

- No!

- I mean, you could be lying.

I'm not.

Okay, well, this was a waste of time.

One last thing.

How do you feel about Jack Berenger?

Berenger is the human equivalent

of a curtain bang.

Hiring an outsider

with no connection to Wheeler

was the worst decision

this college has ever made.

Very chatty all of a sudden.

What got into you?

Well, to answer that, we have to begin

by asking, what are words?

Okay, goodbye.

Okay, stop one on the Golden Path.

According to legend, this is the creek

where Francis Wheeler

first started panning for gold.

It starts way up north in the mountains

and ends up here on the campus.

And when the new students arrive,

we give them sifters and shovels

and they spend

a whole day panning for gold.

Has anyone ever found any?

No, because there isn't any gold

in this creek, and there never was.

Wheeler looked for years,

and he came up empty,

and that's the whole point.

No one ever finds anything.

Well, ten years ago somebody

did find a huge bag of shrooms.

What did you do?

We "turned it in" to the "police."

This is the very spot

where Wheeler decided

to start his school.

He had realized that wealth was fleeting

and that the true accomplishment

would be to create something lasting.

At the beginning of year two,

all the kids come here to think

about what they might want to study,

what's important to them,

how to design a meaningful life.

I came here after I took those mushrooms

that kid found in the creek.

It was a mistake.

The Garden of Wisdom.

All of these stones were placed here

by Wheeler graduates.

When people come back here

for reunions or whatever,

they write on these rocks

things they wish they had known

when they were in school.

And the kids come here

at the beginning of junior year,

and they spend a whole day

just reading all this wisdom

from the past.

- That is so neat.

- Yeah.

"By the time you graduate, you should

know something about everything

and everything about something."

What does this one say?

"Never trust an Irishman."

Oh.

Okay, some of these are old.

I'm gonna throw it away.

Last stop on the Golden Path,

the Wall of Reflection.

You pass this 1,000

times over four years,

but on the day you graduate,

you come here,

you stand in this spot,

and you finally see

the person you've become

during your time here.

[Charles] Whoa!

[Mona] All of those people

are Wheeler graduates or teachers,

dating back

to the very beginning of the school.

You're one of us now.

So, I ask you one more time.

Francis Wheeler came here

in search of gold,

but he found something

much more important.

What did Wheeler find?

[Charles]

I feel like I have some guesses,

but I don't know

if I have the exact answer.

Oh my God.

I really hate to do this.

You wouldn't.

I wouldn't?!

Tom Selleck went here?

What?

[Charles] No, no, no, no, no!

[indistinct chatter]

"Look on my works,

ye Mighty, and despair!"

The statue that bears that inscription

has been reduced to dust.

Shelley's poem, however, is still amongst

the most famous in the Western canon.

A few years ago, when I was in London,

I visited the building

where Charles Dickens

wrote the first lines of Bleak House.

It is now a Burger King.

- [students laugh]

- People do not last.

Money, fame, power does not last.

But ideas

Ideas born of passion can endure.

[intriguing music playing]

Dr. Cole, do you have a minute?

Oh.

The gumshoe.

Am I under arrest for teaching books

that you can't buy in an airport?

Quick question, do you know

who's leaking emails to the school paper?

Well, running right at it, eh?

Aren't you supposed to be a bit cagier

in your investigations?

The time for caginess has passed.

- I'm going with direct as*ault now.

- Fair enough.

I do not know who is leaking

Berenger's private information,

although I applaud them heartily.

- You seem to really love Wheeler.

- Mm-hmm.

Are you not worried

about all of this chaos?

Oh, I am, but sadly,

we've brought it all on ourselves.

The moment the board

chose Jack Berenger for president,

they set this school

on a path of self-destruction.

All of this became inevitable.

Although I suppose I can't fault them

for choosing Berenger.

After all, he has an MBA.

That takes two whole years.

- [Claire] Professor, you have a second?

- Yes, of course. Come on in.

So, um

I apologize, but I think you need

to find a new research assistant.

Oh.

May I ask why?

I have to drop out of Wheeler.

Unless, is there any chance being

your research assistant

pays $86,000 a year?

- It does not.

- Figured.

My first two years,

I had a bunch of loans and grants

and the rest of my tuition was paid for

because my family is

under the income threshold,

but President Berenger

got rid of that rule.

And that's why you have so many jobs.

But it's barely making a dent,

so this will be my final semester.

Really sorry to hear that.

I know how much you love it.

I do, but I made a lot of memories here,

and you can't really put

a price tag on that, you know?

Well, actually, you can.

It's $86,000 a year.

[Claire sighs]

[upbeat folk music playing]

Professor Nieuwendyk.

Hi. Good to see you again.

Oh! Hi, yes. Of course.

Nice to see you too.

Good to see you. Yeah.

I can't believe I have to watch this.

If I wanted to sit

through a crappy recital,

regretting all my life's decisions,

I would have had kids.

Any updates?

Claire's leaving school,

thanks to Berenger's

new cost-cutting moves.

She can't afford it, and she's pissed.

How'd your interviews go?

No love lost between the faculty

and Berenger either.

Hey, let's keep our

eye out at this thing.

See if we notice

any subtle signs of discontent.

Oh. Hey. [chuckles]

[crowd clapping]

Thank you.

That was a composition from 1916,

written by a Wheeler graduate.

We did change the name of the song.

It is now called,

"Don't Drown the Harlot in the River."

[crowd clapping and cheering]

My grandkids taught me that. It hurts.

What a delight.

Thank you, Professor Margadoff,

and good afternoon, everyone.

[man] You suck!

We gather here today

for one of our most indelible traditions.

Every year, we plant a young sapling

that will blossom into a new tree,

joining our forest of mighty oaks.

As we say,

Wheeler isn't one person.

Wheeler is all of us.

Thank you.

Oh, what are you doing?

Ah!

I've been covered in mud!

Protect me! Protect me!

I think I noticed

a subtle sign of discontent.

Take these to the dry cleaner.

Have them washed

and checked for b*llet holes.

Okay. Okay. Let's calm down.

You weren't shot.

I was covered in mud.

You know, in many cultures,

that's considered worse.

What if it's not mud next time?

What if it's poo?

Okay, this is getting away from us.

You need to find that mad mudder

before Berenger falls to pieces.

So start with Claire.

See if she was angry enough

to throw a grenade on her way out.

What are you gonna do?

I have to ask our client a few questions.

[Holly crying]

Hey, Holly. I really need to talk. Oh.

- Are you okay?

- Oh.

Yeah, I'm fine. Uh

Every day at two o'clock,

I cry really hard for ten minutes.

- What's up?

- Okay.

I need you to tell me what happened

two years ago when Berenger was hired.

Uh well, it was

down to Berenger and one other person.

The board went with Berenger.

Pretty typical.

Except the other candidate

was Ben Cole, wasn't it?

So your close friend got passed over

for a job that Berenger got.

A fact you neglected to mention to me,

the PI you hired to investigate

a crime against Jack Berenger.

Because it's not important.

Are you telling me Cole wasn't angry?

Angry enough to steal a laptop

and blackmail the guy

who beat him for the job?

That's exactly what I'm telling you,

and I can prove it.

Dr. Cole, welcome.

We're excited to speak

about your candidacy.

[Cole] Thank you, Keith.

I've prepared a statement.

This interview is a grotesque farce.

We all know I'm not actually

a candidate for the presidency.

In fact, I'd bet a fair amount of money

Keith isn't even listening

to me right now.

Indeed, I can see

by the reflection in his glasses

that he is playing Minesweeper.

Wheeler College deserves to be guided

by someone who cares more about books

than balance sheets,

which obviously will not be the case.

So good luck sealing Wheeler College into

a tomb of greed and ignorance, Keith.

You impossible twit.

[Keith] Thank you, Dr. Cole.

Inspirational, as always.

Thank you.

Ben wasn't angry at Berenger.

He was angry

at the state of higher education.

Well, I still think

it's relevant he was denied the job.

I've known the man almost 40 years.

He's like a brother to me.

I guarantee he is

not the person you're looking for.

[cell phone vibrates]

[somber music playing]

[Holly] Everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks.

Every year, it costs more and more

for the students.

And we work harder and harder

to make ends meet.

The president of this college profits

from slashing student programs

and reducing financial aid!

[crowd boos]

[speaker] Enough is enough!

- Hit the road, Jack!

- [students] Hit the road, Jack!

[all] Hit the road, Jack!

Hit the road, Jack! Hit the road, Jack!

Hit the road, Jack!

[distant] Hit the road, Jack!

Okay, where do we stand?

Have you found the would-be assassin?

I haven't found the perpetrator, no.

In fact I've decided not to look.

Why not?

Because it wouldn't matter.

Could have been anyone.

So we're just gonna do nothing?

No. No, you're gonna do something.

You're gonna approach the board and

tell them you're returning your bonuses.

You're also going to convince them

to reinstate the free tuition threshold.

Why in the world would I do that?

We're trying to find the person

who's blackmailing you,

and right now, everybody hates you.

You're the symbol of everything

that's wrong at Wheeler.

High tuition, cut programs.

You need to lower

the temperature on campus,

or we're never gonna find this person.

For the record,

I think the board would go for this,

and it could be some good PR.

Okay. You know, the board might

just go for it. [chuckles]

And it could be some good PR.

I'll make the announcement tomorrow.

I took the liberty of

writing your speech.

[Jack] Ah, wonderful.

Being covered in mud was a shock,

but it was also a wake-up call.

I'm proud to announce

that we will be restoring

our financial aid policy

so that students

from all economic backgrounds

can benefit from a Wheeler education.

I am also returning all bonus payments

I personally received.

Actually I'm keeping $42.

That's how much it costs

to dry-clean the suit.

[laughs]

Good joke, right?

Well-written.

- Hi, Professor.

- [Charles] Claire.

Hey, good news, right? You get to stay?

It's gonna be tough.

In addition to my 12 jobs,

I'll have to get five more jobs,

but, yeah, I think I can make it work.

That's great. I'm so glad.

Do me one favor, though.

Tell your roommate,

Hayley, not to attack anyone else

with any buckets of anything, please.

How did you know?

I thought it was you.

The person who attacked Berenger

was wearing pink sneakers.

And one of the first things

I noticed about you was

that you wore pink sneakers

pretty much every day.

Then I remembered

that you and Hayley share your clothes.

And I figured she got angry

when you had to drop out.

Exacted her revenge.

She was real pissed when she read

about how much money Berenger makes.

[Charles] Mm.

You gonna tell anyone?

You get to stay at Wheeler,

but your best friend has to leave?

Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

Uh, hey, I have a question for you.

What did Wheeler find?

All right, I've been

thinking about this a lot.

I don't know if it's right,

but I think he came here

searching for gold,

but what he found was a family.

[chuckles lightly]

- Ah-ha.

- [Claire chuckles]

- Thank you.

- Gotcha!

- [chuckles]

- Wha? I got the thing!

- What I figured it out! What's

- [Mona] Oh.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- [spluttering]

[chuckling] I didn't see that.

Claire!

Oh, I haven't seen you for so long.

I know. You wanna get coffee?

- That would be great.

- Okay.

Yes, my treat. Okay.

[intriguing music playing]