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01x02 - More Than Zero, Less Than One

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Iris Affair". Aired: 16 October 2025 – present.*
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British thriller television series.

01x02 - More Than Zero, Less Than One

Post by bunniefuu »

Would you mind stepping back

from the edge, please?

What's that in your hand?

Give it to me, please.

-I'm Joy's tutor. Harriet Brook.

-It's Monica.

I don't know anything about you.

Well,

there's basically nothing to know.

Iris, is it? Just trying

to get you to come work with me.

Solving

an incredibly difficult puzzle.

Charlie Big Potatoes.

He's a Topological Quantum device.

-So what is wrong with it?

-He's asleep.

And I need you

to wake him up for me.

This is Charlie's creator.

-Jensen.

-What happened?

All we need to get the machine

up and running

is to enter an activation sequence.

It's been enciphered in this.

It's his diary.

Oi!

With the reward

at four million euros,

the real question is

who's gonna find her first.

Find Iris Nixon.

What we need you to do is find

a book she stole from us.

'Here Comes That Day

'Oh, here comes that day

'Oh, here comes the rain

on your parade

'There's a price to pay

'For a life of insincerity

'And you pretend

'That it doesn't matter

'And that you're not scared

'Oh, here comes that day

'Oh, here comes

that rain on your parade'

-Die Arbeit?

-Ja.

-I'll make you a coffee.

-Don't worry. Go back to sleep.

Why are you awake already?

Come here

OK.

I'll change your nappies

and you go back to sleep.

No!

What are you doing here?

You can't be here! This is my house!

Now I have to go to work.

If you'll excuse me, please.

I'm guessing you've been called out

to attend that burned-out wreck

on the beach near Alghero?

What do you know about that?

Well put it this way:

not as much as I need to.

I don't follow.

You're leading

the investigation, right?

And I mean,

it's in your jurisdiction.

So what?

Do you know something about this?

-Do you wanna make a report?

-No.

I need to know who these people are.

-Why?

-Because someone's looking for me.

It doesn't matter who but

he's offering a lot of money

to whoever finds me.

I mean a lot of money. Millions.

I need to know

how dangerous they are.

What are you talking about?

Put a name to these faces for me.

Where they come from,

where they're staying.

How many of them are there?

Do that for me and everything's

gonna be alright for you.

And if I don't somehow things

will not be alright for me?

-Come on. Don't be like this.

-No. No. No. I want you to say it.

If I don't, exactly how things

will not be alright for me?

So I feed you information

about a possible homicide,

or you tell my wife about us?

Is that it?

-Is that it?

-No No, that's not it at all.

Then I don't understand

what you're saying.

Well, alright then.

That for the last six months,

you and I have been plotting

to k*ll your wife.

Except that's not true.

Now you need to get out!

-Huh, get out!

-Of course not.

But I can make it true.

What do you mean? Are you insane?

Probably.

It's definitely been suggested.

But several times

over the last few months,

when you were sleeping

or showering or peeing,

I sent text messages

from your phone to mine.

And these messages make it very clear

that you want us

to k*ll your lovely wife.

-So we can be together.

-This is a joke, eh? You're joking.

-Hm?

-Try me and see.

Of course, the messages aren't

on your phone anymore.

I erased them as soon as I sent them.

But they're still on the server.

And I expect

any police officer can retrieve them

in a few minutes

with the relevant warrant.

What are you, Monica?

My name's not actually Monica.

Just do this one thing for me, Teo.

I promise that's all I want.

Just some names.

And I'm gone.

-Teo, all okay?

-Yes, yes. Just go back to bed.

Is this your husband?

Yes.

Miss. I'm warning you.

Who are you?

What are you doing at my house?

I had some of my items stolen

from the hotel.

And um your husband didn't

so much as take a fingerprint.

I want to lodge a personal complaint.

Miss, I insist you leave.

Well, I don't know how else

I'm supposed to get your attention.

OK.

Now I have more important places

to be. But yes.

During tourist season things can get

a little bit overwhelming.

But I will make sure the matter

is looked into. OK?

Are you sure, now? You promise?

He said he'd help.

Now you need to go, please.

Right now.

You need to leave my house.

I am so sorry to have woken you.

She's just

one of those weird tourists.

She won't come back. I promise.

Ispettore.

Prego.

-Buongiorno, Ispettore.

-Buongiorno.

What's up?

Take a look, it's pretty bad.

Looks as if the car was set alight,

then shoved over the edge.

How do you know?

There are footprints up there.

From a small man,

a young kid or a woman.

-A woman?

-Possibly.

Who are those two?

They look like trouble.

Commissario Krauss and

Vice Commissario Baptiste,

special branch.

Are you part of Bruni's section?

Mm-hm.

What are two hard hitters

like you doing here?

We're looking for him.

You know him?

But of course. He's one of us.

-A policeman?

-That's what he was.

Looks as if she found him first.

Sorry, who are we talking about?

Do you know this woman?

No, never seen her. Who is she?

Her name is Iris Nixon.

She's quite famous

on the net at least.

And what did she do?

Apart from k*lling a policeman?

Are you alright?

Yes, yes.

Just lack of sleep.

I have two little girls.

Can I see?

I know her.

From where?

There's an English family

at Villa Ferrante.

She looks like their nanny.

The hair is different,

but I'm sure it's her.

Brilliant.

Let's have a chat with them.

-Can you take me there?

-Of course, no problem.

Baptiste, you follow us.

Teo?

Everything is fine.

What?

No! No, no, no, no, no.

sh*t!

f*ck 'em!

f*ck!

-Do you like it?

-The cartoon?

It's pretty good, I suppose.

Did you do it yourself?

I had creative oversight.

So that's a "no", then.

How's Sardinia?

Oh, my God, it's absolutely gorgeous.

You should keep it that way

and not come.

I have to say,

and I don't mean to be rude,

but it's a weird place

for a fugitive to hang out.

Such an intelligent one, anyway.

An island with limited points

of ingress and egress.

The point of a random choice

is its randomness.

Oh, that's right! You didn't want

to be predictably unpredictable.

-There you go.

-How predictable.

Well, we found you in the end.

So let's summarise.

You've got no money.

God knows you've got no friends.

You've got nowhere to run.

And, well, you're on an island.

So c'mon.

Play fair. Game over.

Give me back the diary you stole!

Mm

Yeah.

No. Sorry.

You'd rather

the money defenestrate me?

Dash my brains out against the wall?

Douse me in petrol

and burn me alive?

Well, I mean, I'm not saying

that I would prefer it.

But you know, it would

definitely make things simpler

from my perspective.

Hm so can I just play

devil's advocate for a second?

-Oh, be my absolute guest.

-In an infinite universe,

there are infinitely many versions

of you that just say f*ck it.

Give him what he wants.

So why not be one of them?

Give me the activation sequence.

Let me wake Charlie up

and set him to work.

Make the money happy.

And then no-one needs

to set fire to anyone.

Or wrap them in razor wire

and drop them

out of a helicopter into a lake.

I can't, Cameron.

I need to know

why Jensen did what he did.

He k*lled five people,

and I need to find out why.

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Which means you haven't finished

decoding it yet?

The diary?! I'd like to see you try.

He changed the key every week.

One week,

it was the DNA of a bloody nematode.

Next week,

it was the 12,121,863rd digit of pi.

Alright. I have to ask.

I know you want me to.

Because the artist

Edvard Munch was born

on 12th December 1863.

Twelve, twelve, one eight, six three.

That's the one

who painted The Scream.

Yeah.

I'm aware of him, thank you, Iris.

Every week,

a new unbreakable head f*ck.

So that's a "no", then.

As if.

You know I can't resist a puzzle.

It's a compulsion, evidently.

One more code to crack.

Five more pages to read.

What does he say?

He calls the machine

the lamentation of God.

The silence of the dead voices.

The abomination of desolation.

The Kali Yuga.

He wrote that?

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Then he's insane.

But what if he's not?

Because if he's not,

and Charlie frightened him that much,

then it should frighten us, too.

Either way,

we don't have the right to just

flick a switch and turn it back on.

Not until we know for sure.

They're gonna m*rder me, Iris.

No offence

but it might just be better

to let that happen.

No offence, but f*ck off.

See you soon.

Thanks for the lift.

I wanted to talk to you in private.

Of course, no problem.

I wanted to tell you

that Nixon has this habit

how do I put it

to initiate relationships with

serving police officers

and to exploit

this situation when it suits her.

PRIVATE NUMBER

It would be ideal if you can

start discreet investigations.

Try and find out

whether she has managed

to infiltrate your police station.

Does anyone have a private problem?

Failing marriage,

problems with alcohol or pills

This job and relationship issues

go hand-in-hand.

Right. But still, do keep your eyes

and ears open

Teo, they found me.

I need to get off this island

or I'm dead.

I can't do it without you.

Where are you?

sh*t!

Answer it.

Oh, that's not important.

Somebody urgently

wants to get in touch.

That's just my wife.

Just?

Yes, you're right.

I better answer it.

Go ahead, I'll join you.

Don't worry,

I'm enjoying the sunshine.

Answer it. I'll wait here.

Darling, I can't talk right now.

Is everything okay?

Why weren't you answering me?

I've just been to a crime scene.

Yeah. I need you

to do something for me right now.

Seriously, my darling I can't talk

right now.

The dead man was a policeman.

A what?

Yes, a policeman. I'll be very busy

until this case has been solved.

No No, that's not possible

That doesn't make any sense.

A police officer from where?

I haven't committed any crimes.

Well, none to speak of.

Well, not until last night.

OK. I need you to create

a suspect for me.

Um, tell them

that you have a description

of a man leaving the crime scene.

Any man. Doesn't matter.

Buy me a few hours.

That's not going to help, sweetheart.

They know exactly

what they're looking for.

-Did they use the name Iris?

-Yes, that's it.

They don't know where yet,

but it won't take long.

Teo, they're lying.

They might be police,

but they're not here as police.

They're here chasing money.

Don't trust them.

There's nothing I can do.

Just stay calm. I call you

as soon as I can, okay?

All good?

Yes, yes, all okay.

We have rats in the kitchen

and my wife hates rats.

Those b*stards are everywhere.

I hate them.

Let's go.

Well, we know her

as Harriet Brook, obviously.

The hair's different,

the eyes are all wrong.

But that's definitely her.

I d I don't understand.

She was

Well, she came highly recommended.

I'm sure. But she's very clever.

And references can be faked.

Nobody here considers you

to be at fault.

Would you happen

to have her address?

Uh, of course. Yes! Um, hang on.

She's in town. Uh

She's in um

Apartment 7,

352 Piazza San Doriano.

Joy. Sit down, please.

I'm afraid to ask.

Are we safe here?

The assumption has to be no.

This is a very dangerous woman.

She might attempt to steal from you.

Joy.

I understand that you might feel

a tug of loyalty to this woman.

But however, you might feel,

it's important to remember -

the woman

you believe her to be isn't real.

Harriet Brooks is an invention,

invention of a very dangerous woman.

Hey.

We know where Iris Nixon lives.

Apartment 7,

352 Piazza San Doriano.

-On our way.

-Great.

Do you know what a psychopath is?

Oh, my God. Are you stupid?

-Joy! Please.

-Joy, show some respect.

-Remember who you're talking to.

-I'm so sorry, officer.

Commissario.

She's not a psychopath.

Interesting. What makes you say so?

-Psychopaths don't have empathy.

-Uh-huh.

But they fake it to get

what they want from people.

That's often the case, yes.

So if she were a psychopath,

she'd pretend to care about me

to get what she wanted.

And she doesn't do that? She doesn't

pretend to care about you?

-No. She doesn't.

-Mm-hm.

What does she do?

Pretend not to care?

Huh.

Forgive me, Joy. I'm confused.

What makes you think

she's pretending?

f*ck off.

-Joy!

-What? He can f*ck off.

Right. OK, that's enough.

Go to your room.

You'll never catch her.

-She's much too clever.

-Joy. Room. Now!

I'm so sorry, Commissioner.

She's Behaviour is inexcusable.

She was raised to be better.

Teo.

Do you have

any idea what they'll do to me

if they find out

I'm helping a cop k*ller?

Get out of my life.

You f*cking psychopath!

Leave me alone.

Leave everyone I know alone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now listen.

The minute I'm arrested,

the first words that are coming

out of my mouth are your name.

f*ck You! Such bullshit!

Oh, well, why don't you

give it a whirl and see?

An as*ault team has been dispatched

to your apartment

on Piazza San Doriano.

Okay, off to Piazza San Doriano.

Teo, can I ride with you?

Baptiste follow us.

-Clear.

-Clear.

-Clear.

-Clear.

Clear.

All clear.

Locked, from the outside.

Checked everywhere?

Every room, every cupboard?

Roof, kitchen, cellar nothing.

OK.

Call headquarters.

We need a major search operation.

Issue a description.

Remember,

this woman k*lled a colleague.

Nobody goes home until we find her.

Understood?

Headquarter, come in

Iris Nixon.

Excuse me, miss?

Excuse me. Miss.

Still warm. She changed.

-Boss

-Yes.

All new stuff. Never worn.

She's wearing the new dress.

We have to find the ticket.

The ticket matches the dress she's

wearing. Search everywhere.

You k*lled a cop. Get up!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry

-Say it.

-Say what?

"I'm a cop k*ller."

What?! I don't know

what you're talking about!

"I. Am. A. Cop. k*ller."

-Say it.

-I don't know who you think I am.

-Please.

-Look at my face and say it.

But I didn't hurt anyone, please!

I didn't hurt anyone.

Here, I found it.

-Get up and run, so I can sh**t you!

-No!

No, please,

I don't know what you mean.

Get up and run!

I am the wrong person.

I didn't hurt anyone.

-Cop k*ller.

-No!

All units

The suspect is wearing

a white dress with blue dots.

Please, wait. Please, please, please.

a white dress with

It's not her.

-It's not her.

-sh*t!

sh*t!

We have to go! We have to go!!

If you say anything. To anyone.

I'll make sure you wish you hadn't.

You understand me?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!

We need to go!

Come on!

Okay

How did you two meet?

What?

-Well, your wife, Carlotta, yes?

-Yes, Carlotta.

We met when we were little.

She was five, I was six.

Are you happy?

Yes.

Very.

And the twins? Nearly two?

It's the best thing.

-Do you have children?

-Three.

And I love all of them.

Every single one of them.

That's not to say

it has always been easy.

This business of fatherhood.

The lack of sex.

The urge to f*ck.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wife,

but after the first one

her libido just disappeared.

The baby brought us together

we were

very loving to each other

but the urge to f*ck

That's the worst in us.

It's such an innate need.

As if you're

chained to a starving dog.

When did you meet Iris Nixon?

I think you better pull over.

I can make all of this go away.

Whatever it is

that she holds against you.

Nobody will know.

Not your wife,

you colleagues, no-one.

-How?

-Wait until she calls you.

And she will,

because she needs your help.

When she calls,

you do as I tell you.

Two years ago, an enigmatic group

calling itself Nine Horses

began an online search

for highly intelligent individuals.

A growing collective

of puzzle solvers began co-operating

on chat rooms and message boards

across the world.

But then Nine Horses went quiet.

Deadly quiet.

Until 18 months ago,

it posted another mystery.

A different kind of mystery.

One that really set

the conspira-sphere alight.

Exactly who

and where is Iris Nixon?

And soon, Nine Horses was offering

a massive cash reward

for information leading

to the whereabouts of Iris Nixon.

Now to be sure,

many people believe the entire thing

to be some kind of online hoax.

But with the reward standing

at over four million euros

there are plenty of people

out there

who believe the search

for Iris Nixon

to be something, literally, worth

well, believing in.

-Yeah?

-Joy. It's Miss Brook.

No, it's not.

No. No, it's not.

I take it

the police have been round.

Just a bit, yeah.

-And what did you tell them?

-Nothing.

Good.

Thank you. Good.

Miss Brook, are you alright?

You sound

Is everything OK?

Oh, it's just, I mean

It's It's been

a bit of a rough old morning.

But um I'm fine.

Um, listen.

I don't wanna do this.

I really don't.

But um I'm in a bit of a

a bind and um there's literally

no one else I can trust.

The men who've come to find me are

very dangerous.

What men? You mean the police?

No.

Well, yes. But not primarily.

Miss Brook, is everything OK?

I need to hide something from them.

It's something that they want,

very badly,

and they mustn't be allowed to have,

not under any circumstances.

Something like what?

Like, evidence or something?

No. It's um It's a book.

Sort of a diary.

What's in it?

I'm still

trying to figure that out.

OK. Where is it?

At my house.

Right well, tell me where you live,

and I'll go there now and get it.

I'm so sorry, Joy.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I shouldn't have done this.

Come on! It's not like

it's drugs or anything.

I have to go.

Is it drugs or something?

Sadly not, no.

No. It really is just a book.

So let me help you.

I can't. Um, thank you.

Now, you look after yourself.

Don't lie to the police.

You tell them as much as you know.

And you do not try to protect me.

Honestly! I don't mind!

Miss Brook?

Miss Brook?

OK. Listen to me.

Use the front door.

That's the one facing sea.

It will be open.

Go to the cooker. Remove the handle.

Don't worry, it's magnetic.

The hatch you want is

beneath the rug, open it.

Now, listen carefully.

You need two combinations.

The first is 3-1-4-5-9. OK?

Now. Here's where you're gonna need

that magnetic handle.

Because there's a second safe

hidden under the first.

And the combination to that safe is

1-4-5-8-8-6-9.

There's a briefcase inside.

Please be very,

very careful with it.

There's something

very precious inside.

Now, mind the man traps.

They'll have your leg off. Seriously!

Find a hollow tree, about 200m north,

northwest, of the cottage.

Hide the briefcase in there.

Then go home.

Don't try to contact me.

I won't be using this phone.

And Joy. Joy, listen to me.

This is very, very important.

Under absolutely no circumstances,

and I say again,

under no circumstances whatsoever,

can you let anyone see you

or get their hands on that briefcase.

That absolutely cannot happen.

Do you understand me?'

f*ck!