02x04 - The Pinging

[bunniefuu]

Whoa!

Skadoosh.

Dad?

Who seeks the weapons?

Dad, don't freak out,
but you look a little...

possessed?

Dad!

I have a terrible headache.

Uh... Dad?

Dad, stop!

I am not your weak goose father.

Uh, obvs. So, who are you?

I am Master Mastodon!

Master Mastodon?

So cool!

Oh, no.

Oh, nice try. Missed me.

There we go. Whoops.

♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ Nice throw ♪

I don't want to fight you guys.
That would be most un-chill.

Then here's an itty-bitty idea.

Hand me that helmet and be done with it!

Are y... Are you crazy?

If you take this helmet,
you'll be leaving the mages to die.

Like the mages left me to die?

The mages have been
dead to me for 15 years.

Dead!

Goodbye, Kyle.

Goodbye, Kyle.

Goodbye, Kyle. That could be a song.

No one shall wield
the power of the weapons!

You don't get it.
We're trying to find the weapons to s...

You dare turn
the Whip of Master Long-Tooth

against me?

Stop!

We can't hurt him. That's my dad in there.

The Skumaskot Kick. Watch out!

Come on!

Son of a...

Okay.

- Was that connected to a toilet?
- Look, look, look.

We'll tie him up until we figure out
how to exorcise an evil spirit.

Surrender the whip!

Never! I rightfully stole it.

Hold him down! Now!

Give up now, puny animals.

Move! He's about to do
his famous Fellibylur Punch!

- Hold him still. Hold him.
- I'm trying!

Po!

You leave my perfect son alone,
you ancient bully!

Dad?

Silence, weak and tiny goose man.

Come on!

He's got to get tired sometime, right?

I don't know.

He's an undead spirit.

Maybe he's not following us anymore?

- Huh?
- I will boil your eyes!

Blade!

Po, we have to defend ourselves.

No, listen to me.
We are not hurting my dad.

Lesser of two evils, remember?

Blade, we can't...

Po, we have to do this right now.

This is the end, cowardly creatures.

I have to do everything
around here.

Mm.

Huh?

Wait, what? Huh?

Sorry.

Hey! Come back!
You gotta get me out of here! Huh?

Phew!

See? We can find another way.

Nobody has to fight anybody.

- Where is the whip, you pathetic mortals?
- Hey!

We don't take kindly
to troublemakers in this town.

Dad?

Whoa.

Oh, come on, now.

♪ Let's be friends ♪

We have a life here that's safe,
happy, a-and free.

A life that's completely ours.

You can join us.

I'm on your side, sister,

but they need this helmet to survive.

We can come back
once we have the other three.

Where is the whip?

Drop the dosa cart and get out of my city.

This body is weak.

I've worked very hard
for this body.

Do not listen to him.

I will rend the flesh from your bones!

He's gonna get my dad k*lled!
How do we stop him?

Po.

We have to fight your dad.

No!

We could help him get control of his body
and stop Master Mastodon from the inside.

We're running out of options.

He'll k*ll you.

He's got big m*rder*r energy.

Maybe if we just choke him out, you know?

Like... Like...

This isn't the emperor's guard
or monks or knights.

It's my dad!

And you let him come along,
knowing full well he'd be in danger.

I-I'm sorry. That was...

No, you're right.

Just give me one more shot.

Rukhmini, I think
it's time to use the whip.

Are we gonna slice him in half?

Come on!

Yeah!

What?

Looking for this?

I will turn you into dust
and breathe you into my lungs

to fuel my rage!

Got it!

Not again.

I will crush you into fine meal
to fertilize a small herb garden!

Hmm. Ah.

Hmm.

Uh... Hmm.

Oh.

Mm.

Oh, not now, stomach, buddy.

In my eons of sentience,
this is the foulest thing I've ever heard.

Puny panda.

I'm above average for my age.

You can't escape me forever.

I don't need to.

Whoa!

Now...

Uh... Ooh.

Hand it over, Panda boy!

I will not ask again.

We're on the same side here.
We want to protect the weapons too.

Then why are they holding that rope?

Uh...

The Fimmálnaspottalækur
Pressure Point Sequence! No!

No!

They're paralyzed, but in agonizing pain.

It's actually not that bad.

Wait, really?

I-I can't feel my tongue.

W-well, i-it...

it's been a few thousand years
since, you know...

You still did a great job.

I try my best.

Hey, uh, Master Mastodon?

Before you boil our eyes, or whatever,

what's an ancient master doing
hiding out in a necklace?

For millennia, I have protected
the location of the Storm Wheels,

defeating all those that sought its power.

Some evil, some good.

When you live as long as I have,

it all becomes the same.

Huh.

And now, your time has come!

No, no, no!

Veruca, please!

He doesn't want to k*ll you. See reason.

I've got four reasons right here.

One.

Two.

Wait!

Three.

- And four.
- No, no, no!

If this is it, I'm glad...

I-I'm glad we found each other again.

Uh...

Huh?

Come on, Dad. Don't make me do this. No.

Po! You have to fight back!

Dad, I know you can stop him.
You can take control!

Your father's mind
is even weaker than his body.

Come out!
I'll make your death swift and painless...

Mostly.

Your greed brought me here,

and now, I'll cure you of it.

Don't hide from your fate.

Face me, and perish like the rest!

Po, he'll k*ll you! Please!

Uh... Uh...

Fight me!

No.

No? What?

This mission was chosen for me,

but I still get to choose
who I am along the way.

I won't hurt my dad
any more than I already have.

Pitiful, just as I thought.

Leave my son alone!

Dad?

Hey! How are you...

Get out of here!

You want to talk about
who's weak?

You're in my body!

I do ten push-ups
and three crosswords a day,

so don't mess with Mr. Ping!

Dad!

Oh...

Thank you for not k*lling me, son.

Dad, you just...

You just defeated an ancient master!

Oh, is that who that guy was?

Oh, weird.

I still feel him kicking around in there.

This is my fault.
I'm sorry I got you into this.

Oh, no.
I'm proud to be here with you, son.

And besides,
I kind of know what I signed up for.

Kind of.

Can I talk to him?

Well, I'll see if he's available.

We need your help.

Two weasels are
on their way to the Storm Wheels now.

Huh?

They're gonna bring back an army of
the spirits trapped in the weapons.

Wow! Very tight grip.

No one must have the weapons.

Then will you help us?

We'll have to cross many seas

to the other side of the world.

Whoa. H-hold up.

So we don't need
the pendant-compass thing?

No. That was how
I lured the greedy into my deadly grasp.

Ah, tight, tight, tight.
Tight, tight, tight.

So, you're skipping town again, huh?

That's none of your concern, traitor.

Hmm. See that boat over there?

Uh, yeah. What of it?

It's yours.

What?

No, it's mine.

In fact, now that I'm officially married,
this whole town is mine!

I'm going to flatten it

and put rickshaw lots
as far as the eye can see.

Right.

Except you married my daughter,
so what's yours is hers.

And I just signed
everything over to my mother.

You didn't think my mother was
the only con artist left in town, did you?

Huh?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

That's not how that works!

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm a notary,
and I just made it official.

Which means this town is ours again.

But the deal is done.
I've already signed the paperwork.

I-I'll be ruined!

Don't worry, my love.

You can work off your debt...

at the restaurant.

Sorry we couldn't tell you.

You really did come at the worst time.

You conned me?

You conned me!

This is the greatest con
I've ever seen! Ha!

- I call front seat!
- That's not how a boat works.

I like your new team.

They're weird.

Don't wait another 30 years to come back.

The Archmage is back!

Cheer up, brother.

We have two of
the most powerful weapons in the world,

and we're about to find the third.

Unless you'd prefer to stay?

That's what I thought.