Piano Accident, The (2025)

[bunniefuu]

The film you're about to see

was born under a lucky star.

Done.

I'm really sorry.

I hope that...

you can reincarnate

as something more interesting.

Bye.

Well... Come on!

This isn't the cabin in the photos.

Of course it is, obviously.

No, I don't recognize it.

I didn't change it behind your back.

You think I'm an idiot?

Come see. It's amazing, I swear!

This way.

Done.

Here.

Oh, poor girl,

didn't sleep in the chopper?

Oh, sh*t!

The pilot asked me to leave a comment,

and I forgot.

Really?

Since when do pilots do that?

He was super nice.

And I promised him.

Can you do it for me?

Of course.

No problem.

What should I write? "Super nice pilot"?

"Friendly pilot"?

I don't care, something positive.

- No problem, I'll handle it.

- Mmh.

These aren't the right yoghurts.

They taste weird.

- Really?

- Mmh.

You got the wrong brand.

Ah, sorry.

I'll be more careful next time.

I'm only eating because I'm hungry.

And what's this?

Oh, that. It came yesterday.

- For the chainsaw video.

- Mmh.

If you don't like it, we'll toss it.

No.

It's not bad, let's keep it.

Uh... do you need me

for anything else tonight?

No, you can go.

But everything's okay? I mean...

Do you like it here? Feel good?

I don't know, I'll tell you tomorrow.

I'll let you eat in peace.

Get some rest.

Are you on a break?

No, she's the one on a break.

I'm not on vacation.

I have to handle everything.

I have to reply to everyone.

It's hell.

You think I'm here

to do nothing or what?

You could do that from home,

it wouldn't change a thing.

Of course not. Pff!

You know how she is.

I have to be here

to see everything with her.

Live, day by day.

I have to be here to motivate her.

She says she wants to quit.

So?

If she wants to quit, let her.

And what about me?

Should I be unemployed?

Very funny.

Well, you could find something else.

It's been ten years.

Aren't you tired of being her lapdog?

Tired of making good money?

Nope, sorry.

We don't do anything together now.

You're always with her.

"Magalie asked me to be here,

she wants me here."

Magalie, Magalie, Magaloche,

I'm so fed up.

You see that lunatic

more than your own kids.

Do you even realize?

Are you even listening to me?

Something's off.

I'll call you later.

What? Again?

An email I need to

deal with right now.

I'll call you, love.

OK, bye.

Mag, are you asleep?

Mag!

Are you nuts?

What's wrong with you?

- Sorry, it's super important...

- I don't care.

Don't come into my room to whisper.

Are you sick or what?

I swear, it's serious.

Get out of my room!

OK, sorry.

Oh, sh*t!

Does the name Herzog ring a bell?

Patrick, just tell me what's important.

Stop with the stupid riddles.

Who is Herzog?

Dimitri, the crane guy.

He screwed up.

That idiot told his sister everything.

- His sister?

- Yeah.

He has a sister.

- What did he tell her?

- Everything!

Everything.

That's why she's contacting you.

She sent me a message.

And she's a journalist.

Starting to get it now?

No. What difference does it make

if he told her everything?

Read it!

Oh my God!

It's full of mistakes.

It's terribly written!

Who cares?

You make mistakes too.

Just read to the end.

Read it all!

It's blackmail.

Oh, really?

- That's all you have to say?

- Well, she says

she doesn't want money.

What does that b*tch want?

That's the problem.

I don't know what she wants.

Well, did you contact her

before coming to bother me?

Yeah. She refuses to talk to me.

She only wants to talk to you.

Oh, no...

No, what the hell!

Hello, Simone.

This is Magalie.

You sent an email to Mr. Balandras,

my personal assistant,

about the piano accident.

I didn't understand everything

due to the syntax errors,

but I'm available

to discuss it in person.

I'm in the mountains.

At my new residence,

for an indefinite period.

You may call me back at this number,

if you wish.

I hope to speak with you soon,

Mrs. Simone.

Goodbye.

f*cking b*tch!

You know what?

- Maybe you're right about the mistakes.

- What do you mean?

Maybe she meant the opposite.

That she only wants money.

She's screwed.

No, no, no.

I'm not joking, this is serious.

If we mess this up,

we risk life in prison.

Keep that in mind. It's serious!

I'll keep it in mind

and go back to bed.

Don't you get it?

You're just sitting there?

And if she calls again, what then?

I'll call her back, Patrick.

Relax, okay?

We'll sort it out, alright?

Take a little pill,

you're all stressed out.

They ask why their dad's not here,

but aside from that...

Don't you want to tell them

I'm away for work?

To buy them clothes and food.

They'll think I'm a b*stard

who abandoned his family.

They already know you're a b*stard.

Great sense of humor, thanks.

No, they're fine. Relax.

Mathieu got kicked out

of the pony club,

but otherwise all good.

Well, that's good.

You know how I feel.

It's not for boys. Sorry, but... Look!

Look who's here.

Hi.

Oh, sh*t!

I didn't realize

you had that neck brace.

- Yeah.

- Awful, sweetheart.

It's nothing, I'll survive.

Don't worry.

She's tough, you know!

Your cabin looks amazing.

Are you happy?

Yeah, well,

it doesn't feel like home yet.

Oh, I could get used to it fast.

How big is it?

Three hundred square meters?

You're sweet,

but we've got an emergency.

I'll have to steal your guy

and hang up.

Can we finish talking?

But the cabin's 500 m.

Bye!

Patrick, I know what she wants!

That was super humiliating.

Doesn't matter, you'll call her.

Listen!

I've been thinking and I know

what your journalist wants.

Want me to say?

Money. It's simple!

No!

She wants to sleep with me.

Excuse me?

I saw her photos online.

She's a catfish. Gross!

That's it. A sad fan

who wants a relationship with me.

You hang up on my wife

to tell me that?

Yes. I reread her message.

The words are all disconnected.

She must be a psycho.

OK, so your logic is:

she writes badly,

so she wants to sleep with you?

Yes.

She wants money.

Everyone knows you're loaded,

she wants her cut.

- Did you call her?

- Uh, no.

What was that?

- What was that?

- No idea.

She's here.

Look, it's her!

Oh, f*ck! Whoa!

See?

I'm not crazy, I knew it!

- What the hell is she doing here?

- No idea. She's here.

Come on, open up! Open!

- Two minutes.

- Can we talk?

- Open.

- Please.

- Five minutes.

- Let's talk!

- Open, two minutes.

- Hey!

Who are these idiots?

The tall one followed me this morning.

He followed me on

his clunky little scooter.

- Without your ski mask? Are you nuts?

- Don't call me crazy!

You're asking for trouble.

What do you want, huh?

What's your problem?

Get lost or I'll beat your a*s!

Private property. Get out!

We do what we want.

Who the hell are you?

Take that!

- Clown!

- Shame on you!

And you think it's funny?

Take that!

You little b*stards!

What?

Good evening.

Are you Simone?

Yes.

So?

Well, I...

What is it you want?

It's hard. I'm embarrassed.

- Hey!

- What?

Look, I'm sorry.

Should I call you later?

Are you not alone?

No, it's nothing. It's my dog.

He just came into the room.

It's nothing.

Go ahead.

I'm listening.

First of all, you should know

I've never blackmailed anyone before.

I'm an honest person.

Honestly, I feel very uneasy about

this whole situation.

Poor thing.

You're uneasy?

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Are you mocking me?

No, no, I mean it.

You're defensive, but you'll realize

I have good intentions.

It's a very light blackmail,

very positive, I'm not...

Stop with the nonsense

about positive blackmail

and fake explanations.

Tell me.

What do you want?

Magalie, you don't want

the public or the press

to find out what really happened

the day of your piano accident.

Right?

That's why I gave

your idiot brother 500,000.

To shut him up.

Yes, I know.

I'm sorry about him.

My brother is extremely fragile.

The accident traumatized him.

He couldn't bear

to keep that heavy secret alone,

so he felt the need to tell me.

But he hasn't told anyone else,

I'm sure of that.

He has no intention of harming you.

He's extremely grateful

for all your money.

It literally changed his life.

At the time, he had

huge financial and personal problems...

I don't give a damn

about your idiot brother's life.

Spit it out already.

What do you want?

Sorry, it's embarrassing.

Listen, Simone,

let me save us some time.

I already know what you want.

You want to meet me in person.

Yes, that's true.

I knew it!

I felt it. Honestly, I'm a genius.

She wants to meet me,

she wants to sleep with me!

Excuse me?

I know, I'm desirable.

Girls like me,

I've never had a problem.

They chase me everywhere.

I'm hot, I know it.

She wants to meet me

to start a relationship.

No. Sorry if I let you

think that way.

No, no.

You're pretty, I'm not denying that.

But that's not it at all.

I do want to meet you,

but for something else entirely.

Are you still there?

- Yes!

- I'm listening, yes.

You refuse to speak to the media,

you've never given an interview

to anyone in your entire life.

I'd like to be the first

to interview you.

I've done this for 25 years.

I'm a true professional.

I promise not to mention

your accident in the article.

Here's what we'll do,

it'll be simpler.

You give me your bank details

and we'll send a big juicy transfer,

like we did for your brother.

You shut your mouth

and forget I exist.

I didn't contact you on a whim.

It's a well-considered decision.

I won't back down.

Either I interview you

or I go to the police.

I'm really sorry.

sh*t...

I won't change my mind.

Fine, you win!

You're a witch.

I'll hand you over to my assistant

to schedule a meeting.

Patrick Balandras speaking.

I'm the one who got your email.

You've secured

Magaloche's first interview.

Congratulations!

Are you ready?

Can we begin?

First, thank you for agreeing.

I know this is a big effort for you,

and truly, thank you.

I'm deeply moved.

And above all, truly honored.

You're angry,

but I wanted to say it anyway.

All set.

It's recording.

I'll start at the beginning.

In order, okay?

So, Magalie,

you were born on March 12, 1989,

with an extremely rare condition,

called congenital

insensitivity to pain.

I was born with congenital

insensitivity to pain, yes.

Everyone already knows that.

I don't hide it.

Not everyone knows what it is.

Could you explain it briefly?

I'm curious.

It's like being blind.

Except instead of not seeing,

you don't feel physical pain.

I wouldn't know how else to explain it.

For a more precise definition,

ask a specialist.

No, that's very clear.

Thank you.

Very well put.

Magalie,

something else people may not know.

On the day you were born,

March 12, 1989,

it was also the day

the Internet became accessible

to the public for the first time.

Did you know you were born

the same day as the Internet?

No.

Incredible!

I thought you knew that.

I'm going to show you a few things.

No.

No, impossible.

Alright.

What does this new info make you feel?

Tell me.

Internet is a digital tool.

I'm a human being.

I don't see the link.

You were born the same day

as the tool that made you a star.

That's truly amazing!

Where does that...

annoying way of speaking come from?

- Sorry?

- "Amazing, don't you think?"

Seriously, where's it from?

From a castle?

- I don't live in a castle, no.

- Well,

you talk like a duchess

and can't write an email.

I use voice dictation, that's why.

It's not interesting to talk about me.

Indeed, it's not interesting at all.

I won't lie, this interview

is already pretty annoying.

With the way you talk,

I feel like I'm in a school exam.

Honestly,

I don't know if I can take it.

I feel like being attacked.

How long is this going to last?

I don't know, two hours.

Something like that.

Two hours?

Are you nuts or what?

What are we gonna

talk about for two hours?

Magalie, you can relax.

I'm not here to harass you.

I just want to talk,

paint your character's portrait.

No bad intentions.

I mean well, I don't want to hurt you.

Well-meaning, but still blackmailing.

Let's not forget that.

Excuse me,

sorry to interrupt, just a sec.

Can you come here, please?

What?

Come.

What the hell are you doing?

Nothing.

She's got us by the ba*ls!

Stop being difficult, play along!

What? I came,

I'm playing along.

No, no.

You'll have to be more cooperative.

This started off badly.

Did you hear her?

I want to gouge that b*tch's eyes out!

And why the hell should we care?

You're playing with fire.

Think about prison.

Get a grip, damn it.

- I'll get a grip.

- Please.

Thanks!

My assistant kindly offered

to go get some food.

Would you like anything?

Thanks, no, I'm fine.

OK. Just for me then.

As always, darling, you're a gem.

Hurry up, I'm starving.

Alright, let's continue.

I'm ready.

I'll play along.

I'm ready.

I'm listening.

- Is there a problem?

- No, none, Simone.

I'm delighted to do this interview.

And the way you speak feels...

very exotic.

- You're not obligated.

- Yes, I am.

- But let's continue.

- Alright.

I'll go on.

So, Magalie, you were born

the same day as the tool

that made you a global star.

Well, yes.

How did you discover this tool?

It was the year I turned... 14.

Yes.

I was 14 years old, that's it.

That's a good answer.

Could you elaborate a bit?

I was going to.

I just need to remember.

Sorry, I'm eager to hear more.

I'll be quiet.

Go ahead.

We were in the living room,

my dad and I.

We were watching TV

while waiting for my mum.

We'd just watched a crap movie,

a western.

And flipping through

the cable channels,

we came across an adult program.

And we watched it.

I didn't understand

what I was seeing at first.

But I remember feeling

a terrible frustration

at those images.

I was jealous of those guys.

Very jealous.

Hi, I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing a car battery.

Dad!

The next day,

my parents gave me a lecture.

They really scolded me.

And obviously, they punished me.

Later, my dad was at his PC, as usual.

I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing a car battery.

He sent my video

to all his office colleagues

to make them laugh.

MY GIRL IS ELECTRIC

And then things got out of hand.

His colleagues started...

sharing the file with others,

as a joke.

It spread really fast.

Within weeks,

it was already a classic.

The video was circulating everywhere

so much that we even made the news.

Everyone thought it was funny.

There was almost nothing online

back then.

Nothing like today.

It was just beginning.

I was ahead of my time, you could say.

And that's how it happened.

People recognized me on the street.

I became a kind of

circus act at school.

That's incredible!

It feels strange to

say all this out loud.

When I think about it,

it's just in my head.

I never think about it,

because it annoys me.

Bad memories.

I don't care!

Before we resume the timeline...

I'd like to clarify

something that intrigues me.

I hope it's not too personal,

but I wonder...

You're never seen without

that dental device you wear.

So what?

Well... is it a tribute

to that first video?

Is there another reason?

I have a serious gum malformation.

I have to wear this thing for life.

If I take it off,

I lose my teeth in two weeks.

I'm so sorry!

I'm joking.

It's for the look.

At first,

it was so people recognized me.

Then it became like...

a stage costume.

Something easy to identify.

"She's the girl with

braces who makes videos."

That's what I thought.

You don't need them.

You've got perfect teeth.

Thanks, that's nice.

And a very lovely smile, by the way.

Not something we see often.

Didn't you set all this up

just to flirt with me?

Like I suspected.

No, it's just an observation.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Everything okay?

Is it going how you want?

She's starting to open up a bit.

It's fascinating. Thank you.

Alright, I'll let you work.

I'm nearby.

"She's starting to open up a bit."

Sounds like I'm a mussel.

No, it's just an expression.

I know you're not a mussel.

I wouldn't dare.

I know it's an expression.

And I know I'm not a mussel.

But thanks for explaining, teacher.

- Shall we take a lunch break?

- No, I'm not hungry.

Let's finish this.

Very well. So...

People start recognizing you

on the street thanks to that video.

You're 14 years old.

What happens at that moment?

What happens at that moment?

I started making other videos,

obviously.

Hi. I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing a hammer.

Hi, I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing an ice pick.

I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing boiling water.

I kept it secret for a long time.

Magalie, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I said I was clumsy

to explain the marks and bruises.

- Hi.

- Hi!

Why don't you go out anymore?

Is it because of your illness?

No.

Then why?

I entertain myself.

- That's all.

- My parents say you're crazy.

Hey! Sorry to bother you.

Really, sorry.

I'm a fan.

I know all your videos.

My brother, too.

- We just want a photo.

- One photo each.

- That's all we want.

- Yes!

Just ten seconds.

- Then we'll go. Promise.

- Patrick!

Oh no!

- She's calling the other one.

- No, hey!

Don't call your bodyguard.

We're good people!

Patrick!

- What?

- Just one photo, that's all.

It's my break.

Why are you yelling?

Those two little shits are here.

Don't you have anything better to do?

She's recovering.

She needs to rest.

Leave her alone and show some respect!

Shut up, we're free!

We just want a photo!

We're not doing anything wrong!

You're harassing her.

- Then she shouldn't be famous.

- Don't say that!

Stop throwing yogurt!

That's a waste.

Hi. I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing a sewing machine.

And what did you do

with all those little videos?

Did you ever watch them

or was the joy just in making them?

I kept them in a shoebox.

And once I'd filmed a scene,

I completely lost interest.

Like today.

The footage I record

has no emotional value.

Well, that's debatable.

You built an empire with it.

I meant sentimental value.

Well then, let's talk about

commercial value. I was getting to that.

How did the shift

to professionalism happen?

How did you level up?

Professionalism?

How do you manage

to use such annoying words?

So how did you go

from the reserved little girl

who kept her videos in shoeboxes

to the rich and famous young woman

you are today?

Duchess, I'll keep it short.

Because I'm starting

to get fed up with this.

At 16, I became a young adult.

A distant uncle gave me

a smartphone for Christmas.

Camera, internet access.

Then I signed up

on all the forums, platforms,

social media.

I invented that cool nickname.

You already know it, Magaloche.

No need to explain why.

And that was it.

From that moment on,

I started making tons of videos.

The rest you already know.

30 views, 500 views, 100 million views.

Algorithms, monetization, sponsors,

blah blah blah, all that stuff.

Since then, I've earned

way more than my parents.

They kicked me out for being insolent.

And I moved into

a house bigger than yours.

And I started making

videos all day long.

That's it.

I think we've covered everything.

I've said it all.

Can we stop here?

Are you satisfied?

No. We're not stopping

now that it's getting good.

This is where it gets interesting.

Excuse me?

Is it time for a lunch break?

As you wish. I...

I'm fine with anything.

It's all good for me.

That's funny.

I always imagined

journalists were ugly.

- She's not bad at all.

- Are you kidding?

She's vile.

A witch!

Right...

The whole world will read her article.

That b*tch will get famous

thanks to me.

Makes me sick.

- Careful.

- That's it!

Done.

Done.

Hi, I'm Magaloche.

I'm testing a baseball bat

at high speed, darlings.

Here we go!

Let's go.

Done. Subscribe, bye.

Hi, I'm Magaloche.

Today,

I'm testing a monster truck for you.

Here we go, let's go!

And done.

Don't forget to subscribe.

Kisses, bye!

I'm Magaloche.

I'm going to test the washing machine.

Go.

Done.

Don't forget to subscribe.

Kisses, bye!

Hey!

A new video drops tonight at midnight.

Don't miss it!

There's something

I find very intriguing.

You reached a delirious lifestyle

very quickly,

thanks to your video success.

You own multiple properties

around the world.

They say you bought a private island

in Polynesia when you turned 25.

I don't know if it's true.

What matters is understanding

why you kept hurting yourself,

when you didn't need to anymore.

Is it simply a basic

addiction to money

or is it something more personal?

No, I...

It never occurred to me to stop.

According to online statistics,

you've published

over 2,000 videos in total.

That's massive.

Can you confirm that?

I don't know.

I haven't counted them.

My videos never last

more than ten seconds.

So if your stats are right,

that would be...

20,000 seconds of footage.

In 15 years, that's...

not crazy, it's totally fine.

Yes, seen that way, definitely.

To me, that number of videos

says something else.

I can't help thinking about your body.

Excuse me?

You're thinking about my body now?

You've injured yourself deliberately

over 2,000 times on camera.

Seriously. All just to create

short content for social media.

So what?

Have you never felt worn out or tired?

Mail carriers deliver mail every day.

Hi, I'm Magaloche.

Today I'm testing fire for you.

Here we go, let's go.

We all do the same job

our whole lives.

Over time,

you could've questioned things.

Have you never wondered

about the usefulness,

excuse me,

the very relative value of this work?

- Your job is more useful, right?

- Not at all.

I have doubts every day.

I don't know if people

will read my articles.

Or if I offer anything

beneficial to society.

Well, yes.

I have rent to pay every month

and I support my mother,

who's very ill.

I don't have a choice. Whereas you...

Oh, poor thing!

Life is so hard.

Your situation...

it's not the same, I think.

And we're here to talk about you.

Not me.

No one cares about me.

That's true.

Why do you keep hurting yourself

when you've been free to stop

for so long?

Your sick mother,

does she know her daughter blackmails

an artist to boost her career?

Did you tell her that?

Now that's interesting.

You consider yourself an artist.

I'll ignore the rest

and start from there.

Is it for the love of art

- that you keep hurting yourself?

- No.

I use the word "artist"

because what I do requires no effort.

Then why do you keep going?

It's not mutilation.

My body's just fine.

Nature is wise, it heals perfectly.

Answer my question.

"Answer my question."

"Answer my question."

What drives you to continue?

You don't need the money.

"Answer my question."

I'm getting tired of this.

You could quit it all.

Live a normal life.

Why keep going?

- Oh, sure.

- I want to understand. Answer me!

Maybe I do this because I hate myself.

And because I want to die.

That'd make a great hook

for your article.

People will want to click.

I don't write that kind of article.

I'm doing great.

I love myself.

I saw a therapist for three years.

I worked through all that crap.

Sorry, you're too late.

There's nothing to find here.

I don't even know

what you're looking for.

It's almost philosophical.

I want to know what drives you.

It interests me

and it'll interest readers.

Readers don't care.

No, I don't agree.

Do you know our society?

People will read this on the toilet.

They'll forget the topic

when they flush.

You don't need the money anymore.

Why keep going?

How many more times will you ask that?

I travelled 12 hours by train.

I'd like to get some substance

out of this conversation.

You could've skipped the trip easily.

And made a ton of money

instead of coming here

to ask me the same thing 40 times.

It's a fundamental question.

Make an effort, try to answer.

Why do you keep going?

Who says I will?

You don't know anything.

Even if you quit tomorrow,

tell me what drove you

to make all those videos for years.

Answer and I'll leave you alone.

I promise.

What if there's no reason?

There has to be.

There always is.

No, Miss Rational,

sometimes there isn't.

Did you know the universe is made

mostly of empty space?

There's no reason for that.

I've got plenty more examples.

Why are you resisting?

Is opening up that painful?

Is it that terrible?

Yes, pretty terrible.

I tell you and you don't listen.

Rarely have I had such a

f*cking awful moment in my life!

Too bad you can't get past it.

Use this moment to your advantage,

not to suffer through it.

You fear my question because

it forces you to see the truth.

I'm not scared at all!

Your question is crap.

Like you and the work you do.

Your questions are crap,

your face and your sick mother too.

You should let her die

in her hospital bed.

Go to hell!

Completely.

You get it or should I go on?

Fine.

Good.

Now I know why I don't do interviews.

It's unbearable.

No, you're the unbearable one.

Good luck with whatever comes next.

I tried.

I answered

all but one of your questions.

- Done, we're even!

- No, we're not.

You didn't cooperate.

I feel sorry for you.

Get out! Witch!

Hey!

Don't come at me with lectures.

Even an idiot could do it.

Answer dumb questions.

Why is it so hard?

Why are you so difficult?

I don't want to talk about myself

for hours.

Or dig into my rotten soul

to understand things

I don't want to understand.

It exhausts me.

Oh, okay. Great, you're exhausted.

I don't know why I do all this.

I have no idea and I don't care!

- You'd rather go to jail?

- Yes!

I don't give a damn.

We're leaving!

I don't know how to open this,

you filthy pig!

I should never have agreed.

You're the one who

panicked over that poor b*tch.

Let her die!

With her sick mother.

But wait. What about me?

Did you think of me? You're not alone.

Everything pisses me off!

I can't take it anymore.

What the hell do I do now?

I don't care, I'll go to jail.

Are you listening to me?

What about me? Did you think of me?

You'll go to jail too. With me.

You deserve it, just like I do!

Call her and apologize.

I don't know, just text her:

"Sorry, I f*cked up."

Sorry.

"Let's reschedule."

Be nice, fix it.

I do what I want, okay?

I decide.

And I want to be in my cabin, alone.

Excuse me?

Yes.

So give me the keys.

Go on, take your keys!

I'm warning you.

You better fix this fast!

- Done.

- Thanks.

Sounds out of tune.

Well, can we go now?

Yes, go ahead.

We can go now.

Oh right, I forgot to tell you.

The paramedics are super delayed.

- They'll arrive in about an hour.

- An hour?

Yeah, sorry. They're useless.

Either way, I'm not waiting an hour.

We have to do it, for insurance.

I don't care.

I won't wait here, it's grim.

I'll pay if there's a problem.

We're not waiting.

Done. That's...

It's about 6 meters.

What do you think? Is it good?

I don't know.

No, it's not high enough.

It doesn't look dangerous, it's fake.

We need to go higher.

Fine, as you wish.

Go, higher up.

Okay.

Wait, don't move.

Oh no, not that!

I hate when you do that.

- But you've got a--

- It's annoying, look.

- Yeah.

- See?

Yes, yes, okay.

Sorry, I won't do it again.

I'm not a doll.

It's windy, you've got swirls--

Yeah, but I don't care.

Okay.

Sorry, it's fine.

Done, that's 10 meters.

I won't go higher.

But I want higher.

I'll try talking to him.

Uh, excuse me.

Can't you go a bit higher?

Just a little.

With the wind,

my crane could get damaged.

I won't take the risk.

I won't go higher, sorry.

He won't.

That's how it is.

It's my gear, I won't wreck it.

I decide!

Take it or leave it.

I can buy you 50 new cranes,

don't worry.

Do what we ask.

And what difference does

the height make, exactly?

I want to sh**t something sensational!

This isn't it!

You'll break your legs

no matter the height.

I'm talking about staging, idiot!

What do you know about that?

I don't give a damn about

your staging, Steven Spielberg!

I won't wreck my gear

for your pretty face.

Who's Spielberg?

A guy who used to make movies.

I'm not going higher, period.

Don't like it? I'm out.

You win. I'll double your pay.

Entertain me, impress me, raise it.

Yeah, sure.

You think that's how it works?

Think people can be bought?

Of course they can.

What's the problem?

Go to hell.

I won't go higher.

Is that clear enough for you?

Who is this guy, huh?

"Technician my a*s," go to hell!

Mag?

Mag!

Did I record it or not?

We've got a big problem.

Oh, f*ck.

I didn't record?

Wendy is dead.

What?

Who's Wendy?

The stylist.

She's dead, under the piano.

Oh, really?

I'm sorry, that's awful.

sh*t.

No, don't move.

Stay like that.

Patrick.

How many times did I say

I didn't want a stylist?

It could've been you.

It's a miracle.

We're totally screwed.

Paramedics are coming.

We didn't follow protocol.

- It'll cost you a fortune.

- I know what to do.

What?

Bury her.

- What?

- Yes.

We'll say she never came.

It's that simple.

I'm not going to jail

because of a stylist.

No, you won't go to jail.

It was an accident.

Do you love me or not?

- Of course, but--

- Then we bury her.

You bury her.

Look where we are.

It's a desert.

No one will find her.

Trust me.

Make that body disappear.

That's an order!

Do it.

But there's a witness.

That's nothing, I'll handle it.

Hey, crane guy!

Would you be interested

in earning 500,000 for doing nothing?

Yes?

I'd like to apologize.

For what happened.

I'm truly sorry.

You're not sorry.

You don't know what that means.

Yes. I...

I should never have acted that way.

You don't deserve such contempt.

I was awful.

I feel terrible.

You're disconnected from reality,

that's your problem.

You don't know how to talk

to people anymore.

It's not your fault, I'm not judging.

It's a shame,

we could've done something good.

It's still possible.

I'll make an effort.

Too late.

I've got a train at dawn.

Going back to see my mother.

You should've tried earlier.

You went too far, I'm sorry.

I'm not stupid.

You don't want to answer me,

you just want to save yourself.

No.

No, really.

All this made me...

think a lot.

I even fired my personal assistant.

He was horribly toxic.

It was him...

...who forced me to hide the truth.

You're manipulating me, it's pathetic.

Please, have mercy.

I really need to talk.

Forgive me.

We can meet at my cabin.

I'm alone.

Well, well.

Looks like you're the one

who wants to sleep with me.

Not at all, I assure you.

It's because here...

we'll be in peace.

I'll tell you how I feel

and you'll get a great interview.

Well, forget it, it's not working.

I know deep down you despise me.

I'm done trying,

you're a horrible person.

You deserve everything coming to you.

Leave me alone.

b*tch!

THINK ABOUT MAKING

A VIDEO FOR COMSHOPPY

We could have something.

You're wearing a wedding ring.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Oh, my wife...

Forget her, I can't stand her.

You have no idea.

You're drunk.

You'll think differently tomorrow.

Yes!

How pretty!

It's for you.

You're pathetic.

But fine, come here.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

I'm here to deliver this

to a journalist friend

- who's staying here.

- The very nice journalist?

Yes.

"Very nice," yes.

- Should we leave it in her room?

- Oh, well,

she's a close friend.

I'd like to give it to her myself.

Room number?

Yes.

It's... 31, on the third floor.

That way.

- Thanks.

- Have a good night.

"It's not mutilation.. My body's fine."

"Nature is wise, it heals."

"Answer my question."

"Answer my question."

"Answer my question."

"What drives you...?"

Yes?

"...if you don't need money?"

Yes?

Yes?

So I'm horrible.

Is that what you said?

- I'm sorry.

- No, you shouldn't be.

You're right to think that,

it must be said.

I'm horrible.

- No...

- Oh, yes!

You know what?

You are too, just so you know.

Yes, you know,

it's human nature that's like that.

We're horrible crap living

on this planet.

It's not my fault!

You're right.

Yes, it's true, I'm right.

Say you're horrible.

I'm horrible.

- Do you really think so?

- Yes!

- Then say it again.

- I'm horrible.

Very good.

Now let's play a game, okay?

I'm the journalist.

I ask a question

and you have to answer.

Pay close attention,

because there's a trick.

Are you ready?

- You don't have to threaten me.

- I'm in charge!

So, Simone...

Which of us is more horrible,

in your opinion?

Don't hurt me!

Answer!

Well...

"Answer my question."

"Answer my question."

See how annoying it is

to be interrogated like that?

- It's annoying, yes.

- Yes.

Then answer my question.

Who's the worst of us,

in your opinion?

- I don't know, I--

- But answer my question.

These are your last ten seconds

of existence.

Try to shine a little.

And tell me,

who's the most horrible of us?

Me.

No.

Wrong answer, Simone.

But see, I blackmailed you,

I took advantage of the situation.

Shut up.

Listen to what I'm telling you.

I'm the worst of the two.

By far.

I assure you, you're not even close.

I'm a world-class human piece of sh*t.

But at least I'm honest.

I don't pretend to be a good person.

I accept all the horror in me.

I wallow in it all day

like a pig and I enjoy it.

Understand?

Yes, but you should've said

exactly that earlier.

It's an excellent answer

to my question.

Because you keep making your videos

because you've chosen

to accept all the horror

inside you.

It's very coherent.

- A good answer.

- I don't get it. I don't care.

We could even resume the interview...

from this point.

It'd be great.

- Oh, sure.

- Yeah.

It'd be great.

Good idea.

But you should've thought of it earlier.

Before you die!

Hey, wait!

Sorry.

But...

I...

Excuse me.

I...

I never do this, normally,

I know it's awkward and all, but...

I love your vibe.

I've followed you for ages,

I'm a huge, huge fan.

Would you mind if we took a photo?

But... how do you know it's me?

Well, I recognized your beautiful

eyes, of course, and your voice.

Amazing to see you.

I can't believe it.

So, can we?

Oh, awesome! Thanks, that's so cool!

I'll be quick.

Take off the ski mask.

So we can see your braces.

My friends won't believe me otherwise.

Sorry.

It's...

Oh, awesome! Perfect.

She's too beautiful, I can't believe it.

Thanks, yeah? This is great.

Magnificent.

Okay, ready?

One...

Two...

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry.

What an idiot, what an idiot,

what an idiot,

what an idiot, what idiocy!

What?

I totally screwed up, Patrick.

I messed up big time!

I tried to fix things.

And made it a thousand times worse.

You have to help me. So go now,

you filthy larva,

to the hotel where Simone's staying,

see if there are cameras, okay?

It's really important.

No, actually, I'm not doing anything.

I'm done with your messes.

So yeah, I buried Wendy, yeah.

That's true, I did it.

But it was your idea, you know?

I'll get less jail time than you.

And I don't care.

Anyway,

I'm ready, I'm not afraid anymore,

I've covered for you enough.

Stop screwing with me

and leave me alone!

No, I won't leave you alone.

Who's Wendy?

Who's Wendy?

A stylist.

You buried a stylist?

But it wasn't my idea.

You forgot your boots.

Want me to bring them down?

What an idiot.

- Yes, please.

- Don't move, I'm coming.

- Here.

- Thanks, I... I'm sorry.

- Hello?

- Yes, good evening.

I just subdued a bald man,

40 years old, who buried a stylist.

Is it okay now?

Wait. Okay, done.

- Am I in the shot?

- Of course, go ahead!

You'll see, we'll get along.

You're going to love me!

Wow, this place is insane!

Wait...

Where are we?

Where are we?

Look at this rich cabin.

Hey, this is awesome!

Crazy!

It's amazing!

It burns my eyes

just looking at it.

Did you see the size of those boobs?

Look!

Seriously, that's wild, right?

They're colossal, damn!

It's just a big photo.

I know. But wow!

I'm almost in love.

Forget it.

Oh, look.

I even love the braces.

Oh, no.

That's disgusting.

Food gets stuck in there, gross.

- What do you know?

- Everyone knows that.

We don't care.

There's no food in there!

If you kiss a girl

who tastes like metal, gross!

Come on, come here!

Thanks.

sh*t...

sh*t...

What's that?

sh*t!

sh*t!

sh*t!

sh*t!

sh*t.

sh*t.

sh*t.

sh*t.

Damn, she looks panicked.

- Really?

- Yeah.

sh*t.

She's crying.

Poor thing.

What do we do?

Comfort her? You idiot!

We wait.

You look a lot like Dad in the dark.

Huh?

I never noticed. That's wild!

What are you talking about?

You look like him, that's all.

I don't want to look

like that b*stard!

Well, you can't help it.

Then stop looking at me!

What's she doing?

Can you see her?

What the hell is she doing?

Stop asking.

Want me to hit you like Dad?

Shut your mouth!

Hello.

I'm Magalie Moreau.

I can't believe it,

she's making a video.

- What?

- I swear.

A video, live, right in front of us.

Hello.

I'm Magalie Moreau.

And today...

Are you sure?

She's filming, I'm telling you. Look!

- That's insane!

- You idiot!

I saw your shitty scooter

parked down there!

You think I'm stupid?

You've got ten seconds to get out

or I'll rip out your eyes

and make you eat them.

I'm not joking!

Sorry. The door was open.

We didn't think.

We didn't steal anything.

We just wanted to look.

Yeah.

We're sorry.

Sorry.

Still don't want

to take a photo with us?

Are you okay? You don't look well.

Come on, it's fine,

let's take the photo.

Yeah.

Awesome, thanks!

Thanks! Bye.

Yeah, bye!

Hello. I'm Magalie Moreau.

Today I'm testing the hangman's rope.

This video is sponsored by ComShoppy.

It's a great app that lets you

protect all your online content.

Thanks to it, for 14 euros a month...

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Because in the end, it's the only

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Goodbye.