[children chattering, laughing]
[cheerful music]
* *
- Hello!
Hey, children.
How's it going?
I understand maybe
it's somebody's birthday.
Now, when I say happiness to
you guys, what comes to mind?
I've been
all over planet Earth
searching for the secrets
to happiness.
Here's some--
- Guinea pigs.
- Here's--guinea pigs?
What else makes you happy?
What makes you happy?
- Also guinea pigs.
- Also guinea pigs, OK.
I'm getting a theme going here.
What else?
But maybe it's much simpler
than I'm making it out to be.
For inspiration, I've turned
to a particularly
unfiltered bunch.
Ice cream and robots?
OK, what else?
- Like, something--like,
something like a bird caucus.
- Like a bird caucus?
- Yeah!
- I think a bird caucus
sounds really interesting.
I'm not sure what that is.
- [laughing]
- I always say that!
- [laughs]
- Oh, that made you happy!
Oh, my God, this is gonna
be the greatest party ever.
Go!
Bird caucus?
Bird caucus.
Yeah.
Eureka!
Bird caucus.
[Nicky Blitz' "Blast Off"]
- * Getting too close,
better pull on back *
- What if I travel the world,
exploring what makes some
places happier than others?
- * Need a one-two... *
- I'm looking at the ways
that where we are...
- * Yeah, I'm a-comin',
I'm a-comin' *
- Affect who we are.
- * Whoo, I'm a-comin' *
* I'm a-comin', yeah... *
- It's been said that
the search for happiness
is the chief source
of unhappiness.
- * I'm a-comin',
I'm a-comin'... *
- Well, that's OK.
I'm already unhappy,
so I've got nothing to lose.
- * Let's go *
* Let's all blast off *
[soft music]
* *
- And just like that,
I'm home.
Now that I'm back,
I'm shocked at how easily
I've fallen
into my same habits...
[sighs]
My exact same routines.
But this time, I'm brandishing
a world's worth
of happiness insight,
and I'm eager
to see how it all translates
to life as I knew it.
[upbeat jazz music]
* *
Excuse me.
Coming through.
Thanks.
Hey, hey.
OK.
* *
I moved to LA
from New York in 1999.
My wife, Holiday, and I
packed up a Chevy cargo van
in pursuit
of the Hollywood dream--
a dilapidated apartment
in Koreatown
that smelled like cat piss.
[horns honking]
[upbeat music]
- It's really stressful
living in a city
where it's kind of
overpopulated and there's,
like, noise pollution
all the time.
- People move here, generally,
with a lot of expectation.
- I think all of us,
as transplants,
we come here to find our happy.
And we quickly learn
that it is a hustle.
- In LA, paradise comes
with its own unique pressures.
When every day
is 75 and sunny,
life screams at you,
"Be happy, damn it!"
High five, high five.
Yet the Los Angeles
2020 Commission report
estimated that 40%
of Angelenos are miserable.
- It can sometimes be
a little bit depressing
to find out that
it's not exactly how
it's portrayed in the movies.
- Life will knock you down
no matter where you live,
but especially here.
* *
- Oh, I'm turning too much.
But thanks to my travels, I'm
seeing LA's untapped potential
for the first time.
I'm also seeing
my own untapped potential.
So how can I find happiness
in my own backyard?
- Hey, look.
Rainn's pretending to barbecue.
[laughter]
- Are you barbecuing?
- I am, for you.
Hey.
How's it going?
- Do you know how to use it?
- Barely, barely.
* *
Meet Justin Baldoni
and Jamey Heath.
You might recognize Justin
from his role
as Rafael on the series
"Jane the Virgin."
And Jamey is a well-known
music and film producer.
Together, they cohost
the "Man Enough" podcast.
- We have a very
special guest today,
my dear friend,
Mr. Rainn Wilson.
- And as two
of my closest friends,
they know me better
than most anyone.
- When did you get back?
- I got back three days ago
from Thailand.
- It's definitely
not ready to flip.
- I know, I know.
- Honestly, let Justin do it.
It's not ready to flip.
- You're so controlling.
- No, but you're flipping.
- Really, you want to take it?
- Yeah, please.
- OK, go ahead, go ahead.
- Let me do it.
I mean, if we want it
to be edible, you know.
- [laughs]
- Did you find
some happiness there?
- Honestly, this was the most
incredible trip of my life.
- Notice how he asked us
to meet here in LA.
- Real friends would have said,
meet us in Thailand.
- You didn't get
the invitation?
I invited you to bathe
elephants with me in Thailand.
- Absolutely not.
- You didn't get that?
I didn't want to take
my shirt off next to you.
These look done.
That is perfectly done.
- Yours would have not
looked anything like that.
- I made an excellent choice
handing over the spatula.
- No, that wasn't your choice.
That was actually my idea.
- Has Holiday noticed a change?
When you came back,
did she say you were happier?
- Uh, it's been three days.
Give me a break.
No, no change yet.
But the journey
is not yet complete.
- So you go down
to Thailand, Iceland,
places that have
a lot of culture,
or at least culture
compared to here.
Now you're back here in LA.
- In a cultureless void
of Los Angeles.
- Like, what do you do?
How do you go, like,
bathe an elephant
or do an Icelandic thing
in water--
like, what do you
do here in LA?
- I don't know.
We haven't figured
that out yet.
- Go to the zoo?
- More importantly
for you guys,
Jamey,
you've lived here for how long?
- My life.
- And you've been here
20 years at least.
- I was born here.
So yeah, most of my life.
- So in the most materialistic,
status-obsessed place
in the country,
one of the unhappiest places
in the United States--
even though there is a pretty
high standard of living--
what's your take on LA
and finding happiness in LA?
- I think LA sells you
on the American dream, right?
This idea of, if you just
do this or accomplish this,
then you will be happy.
- Mm-hmm.
- Right?
If you get enough followers
on Instagram or TikTok,
or if enough people
watch this show--
only to find that
the more you get,
the less happy you are
and the farther
you are from it.
- I think you do
experience happiness,
but you obviously admit
that you struggle with it.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I'm surprised,
because it's all
right there in front of you.
It's right here.
- All the ingredients
are there.
- But isn't that one
of the hardest parts about it,
is that you know
it's right there--
- Yeah.
- And it feels like
it's just out of reach.
- It's funny you say that.
Because every place I went,
I was kind of like,
I could be happy here.
- Which, when you're
traveling the world,
you're also going
to some places that don't have
the same level
of intersection of capitalism,
and materialism, and status,
and all of these things.
So the question is, like,
how do you take what you
learned traveling the world--
- Mm-hmm.
- And go apply it to this?
* *
- This is why it's important
to invite friends over
to cook meals for you--
perspective.
I've only ever experienced
one version of Los Angeles,
the version where fame
and fortune are said
to be the very height
of what any of us can achieve.
But I want an altogether
different LA experience.
I mean, there must be
some happy people
living here, right?
So let's find them.
Thanks for coming over.
Justin, thank you
for cooking us lunch today.
- Thanks for having me over
to cook you lunch.
- Could I have some
teriyaki chicken for dinner?
- [laughs]
[birds chirping]
[upbeat music]
* *
- Hola.
- Hola.
- Tres tacos, por favor.
Chatting with Justin and Jamey
makes me wonder
how I can apply everything
I learned on the road
to life back home.
This journey's been
about stepping outside
my comfort zone,
yet there's so much
I don't know
about my own hometown.
It's like we're all
too busy sitting in line
at In-N-Out Burger to learn
even the basic history
of this place.
Los Angeles was founded
by the Spanish in 1781,
who claimed it
from its original inhabitants,
the Chumash
and Tongva peoples.
In 1821, Mexico achieved
independence from Spain,
and soon after, America
waged its w*r with Mexico,
taking California as its own.
There were gold rushers,
oil barons,
20,000 Chinese immigrants
building a railway,
and the birth
of a movie industry.
* *
Today, nearly 10 million
people live here,
but this is a remarkably
disconnected place.
Yet I learned on my travels
that even in a place
as troubled as Bulgaria,
there was happiness
to be found.
* *
So I'm heading
to Covina to meet
a woman responsible
for more hyperenergetic joy
than anyone
in Southern California.
Hello, hello.
Oh, my gosh, fantastic.
Hopefully, she'll have
insight into what I've
missed out on around here.
[gasps]
Oh, my gosh.
A chicky-chick.
Oh, my gosh.
This is amazing.
Shrooms.
Hello?
[knocks]
Yesenia?
- Hello, yes!
- Hi, how are you?
- Welcome.
- Rainn.
So nice to meet you.
- What's up, Rainn?
- What's happening here?
- Oh, so that's actually
gonna be a piece.
It's like an alter ego of me.
- You're gonna make that up
to look like you?
- Yeah.
- But is it a piñata?
Are people gonna
be beating on it?
- You know, eventually.
Eventually.
You know,
nothing lasts forever.
- The owner of
this papier-mached wonderland
is Yesenia Prieto.
She's a third-generation
piñata maker
from South Central who can
create pretty much anything
you've ever dreamed
of smashing in a blind rage.
But first and foremost,
she's an artisan of joy.
Great.
What, um--what do we do?
- We're gonna be making
our little burrito piñata.
- OK, as in burrito,
not like a burrito,
but like a mini burro.
- Yes.
- Donkey, OK, great.
- A little donkey.
- You know what would be fun?
Glass piñatas.
I'm just spitballing here.
- No, I like that.
[laughter]
OK, we're gonna turn it
upside down.
- I'm gonna add
stapling to my resume.
- Yeah, it gets pretty gnarly.
It's not easy work, honestly.
But I'm really happy to see,
like, our culture honestly
transcending from--
not just Mexican,
but to every other culture
right now.
Because this is such
a beautiful gift, you know?
You got two really prominent
things that happen.
There's the birthday cake,
and then there's the piñata.
- Mm-hmm.
- And in both of these moments,
everyone stops for a second.
And they all, like,
focus on, like,
each other,
the moment, the love.
It's like you're stopping time.
- It's like a shared joy.
- Yes!
* *
- You are a third-generation
piñata maker?
- Yeah.
My family came from Mexico.
And they were
really positive and very,
like, the American dream, and,
like, we're gonna make it.
So my great-uncle opened up
a party store, and he was like,
"Let's make piñatas, and
they're gonna be beautiful."
And then my grandma
and my other grandfather
got involved,
and then my tia got involved,
and then my cousins
got involved.
I did understand that there
is value in art, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's like, if people
only knew what we could do,
if people could only see.
The mission was to,
like, help my family
by reintroducing it
as an art form.
- Like, for me,
I think piñata--
forgive me--
but what I think is,
like, go to the party store
and get a SpongeBob.
And I hadn't thought
of piñatas as an art form
on a whole other kind of level.
- There's been so much
blood, sweat, and tears,
you know,
in creating these things.
And it has been
because, you know,
we want to see the art.
We want to feel proud.
We want to push the caliber,
even if it means
that we're not
gonna be making the money.
- When I started as an actor,
and I went to theater school
in New York,
none of us thought we
were gonna make any money.
I mean, I wanted
to be able to pay my rent.
We wanted to explode
people's minds
and have them see the world in
new ways and create new forms.
- That's
because you're artists.
- Somewhere in there...
- Yes.
- Is an artist...
- Yes, you are.
- Struggling to get out.
- No, yeah.
OK.
So you got some scissors
right next to you.
- OK.
- We're going to make
piñata fringe, or--
- Piñata fringe.
- Are you left-handed handed
or right-handed?
- Right.
I hate left-handed people.
- What?
Oh, I didn't hear--
- Oh, no.
- [sighs]
She won't be on season two.
Watch.
* *
I really admire
what you're doing
because you're finding
all this stuff in LA, right?
Community, meaning,
purpose, connection.
- Do you feel like you haven't
gotten to experience,
like, sincere depth here in LA?
- It's been a struggle to find
community and connection.
- You can, like,
speak to people,
and people will listen to you,
and I think that's a gift.
- Mm.
- Sometimes,
it's all grassroots.
If you can't find
the community,
then you make the community.
- Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- So that's kind of what
we've been trying to do.
- I love that.
If you can't find a community,
make a community.
- Yeah.
- You're a very
wise piñata maker.
- [laughs]
- I'm finding
that an appreciation
of our own individual gifts
is essential to happiness.
- Oh, yes. Ultimate test.
Can you make a circle?
[laughs]
- I think a lot of us
are guilty of not
giving ourselves enough credit
for our contributions.
I mean, if someone comes home
after a crappy day,
throws on "The Office,"
and Dwight Schrute
makes them laugh
for half an hour,
I need to cherish that.
- Oh, my God.
- Look what we did.
- He's so cute.
- Using our talents to make
other people's lives better,
whether that's through acting,
being good with numbers,
being a dependable friend,
or making
papier-mache donkeys,
it's all worth celebrating.
- Can I take part of the horse
after it's bashed?
I'm playing hospital,
and I really need it
for the hospital.
- You can.
- Yes!
I'm going to transplant you
with that horse.
- You're gonna give me
a face transplant?
- [laughs]
- Yay, cupcakes!
- You are?
If it brings you joy,
I'm willing to make
that sacrifice--ah!
[children laughing]
Here we go, doing the piñata.
- All right.
You know what's inside of here?
Guinea pigs!
Oh!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Ow, that's my knuckles!
Wow!
Oh, man,
where did this come from?
Oh, my gosh,
it's Barry Bonds over here.
Will someone get that girl
on a softball team ASAP?
- I can't wait for
the guinea pigs to come out.
- Enough of this!
[yelling]
[children screaming, laughing]
Yesenia was right.
For these tiny partygoers,
the piñata represents
endless promise.
- I have a telescope!
- It could contain anything,
even guinea pigs.
It's all a matter of how you
choose to look at things.
And as I learned in Ghana,
one of the world's most
optimistic countries,
positivity is both powerful
and contagious.
Lessons from the road
revealing themselves at home.
Now, who wanted to attach
the horse's head to my face?
- You do not want to be awake
while this happens.
Sleep mask.
- I don't want to be awake
while this happens?
- Just go to sleep.
- [snores]
- There you go.
- [neighs]
- That was a horse's butt
on my face?
Thank you.
[upbeat music]
- Uh-huh.
I thought that was Thursday.
Ow.
I'll call you back.
More than any people on Earth,
Americans have the inclination
to chase things we expect
to bring us happiness,
and then we're confused
as hell when they don't.
Perhaps nowhere is this more
apparent than in Los Angeles.
And that soul-crushing
disappointment
is probably why so many
of us are in therapy.
Man, I'm looking
forward to this.
- Oh, boy.
It's been a long time.
- After weeks on the road,
I'm eager
to gauge my progress.
And what better way to reflect
on my personal growth
than with a therapy session
of my own?
- Oh, yeah.
- But my sessions look
a little different than most.
I forgot how pesky
you were over there.
- [laughs]
- I can't get a ball past you.
I forgot about that.
- I've gotten worse.
- [grunts]
- So you're trying real hard.
- Well, I'm thinking,
like, am I feeling a zone?
Am I not feeling my zone?
And I'm trying to hit
the ball over the net.
- Does Rainn know
how to do nothing?
- I don't know
how to do nothing.
- Try less.
- This is Zach Kleinman.
- Go easy.
- [grunts]
- Hit the ball with happiness.
- He's basically like
if Yoda wore sneakers...
[upbeat rock music]
And had a fierce aversion
to the LA sun.
* *
- Wow.
Can we wipe it?
Can we wipe your nose a little?
- He combines tennis
instruction and talk therapy
to guide people
through life's difficulties,
one serve at a time.
I realize that having
a spiritual guru
who also teaches me tennis
might scream
out-of-touch celebrity,
but hey, live
in Los Angeles long enough,
and you just sort gravitate
to doing some weird sh*t.
- So what's not sticking?
What's the most distracting
piece from your happiness?
- All I know is, like,
an entire day will go by,
and I've been in my office,
not appreciating
the beauty around me,
stuck in texts,
emails, work, deadlines.
And at the end of the day,
I feel drained.
- When does it get quiet?
- I do meditation
in the morning.
- That's 20 minutes.
When does it get quiet?
- Playing tennis
helps make it quiet.
It forces you
to be in the moment.
It forces you to--
- Right.
But there's no force
for those other 24 hours.
- I know.
- Where is that force
inside you?
I'd like you
to find that force.
Get the hell back there.
- Oh, OK.
[upbeat music]
- Trying too hard.
High expectations.
- [groans]
- Where'd you go?
- Shopping list, emails.
- Definitely not this shot.
- Trying to hit the cameraman.
Oh!
- You all right?
* *
That easier?
- That felt good.
- As a tennis player,
we know we've got
24 seconds to turn it around.
I've got 24 seconds
to get over this.
Next point.
- Letting it go and moving on.
- No, dealing with it
and moving on.
I'm sure that many other
people on your journey
shared something
like that with you.
- Mm-hmm.
- But you're
somewhat forgetting it
now that there
are more distractions.
- Well, and I have 50-some
years of bad habits, patterns.
- That they couldn't fix?
- I couldn't get fixed
in a couple months.
I guess part of what I'm--
part of what I've been dealing
with the last year or two is,
you know,
my father passing away.
He was old,
God bless him, but--
uh, not as old as you.
- No one is.
- I did a lot of grieving.
And then at the same time,
am I doing enough grieving?
Is this how you--
I don't know how to grieve.
No one taught me how to grieve.
How long are you supposed
to be sad over a dead parent?
Like, I don't know.
Is there more grief
in there that's stuck in me?
Sometimes,
I feel like there is.
Oh, did you see that?
- You actually had some
focus on your grief--
- Uh-huh.
- For your father,
who raised you.
- Yeah.
Oh, that was good.
Why, when I get
in touch with emotion,
am I hitting the ball
so much more cleanly
and with so much more focus?
- That may be part
of the problem,
is you're trying to understand.
Happiness is an experience,
not a concept
that you keep searching for.
- Before this journey,
I'd hear these fortune cookie
sayings like,
you don't chase happiness,
you experience it,
and they'd make sense
to me intuitively.
But like any proverb,
they're more easily recited
than achieved.
Yet in this moment,
speaking with Zach
about my father's death,
I get it.
These aren't some
bullshit words of wisdom.
They're universal truths.
And maybe, just maybe,
this journey
has changed me after all.
Experience that!
- [laughs]
- Mother[bleep].
- Hi.
- Steve Carell.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, Steve Carell.
[rousing big band music]
It's among
the most common reasons
that folks flock
to Los Angeles,
to become famous.
And for some, fame is more
valuable than money itself.
- Um...
- 10 million followers,
just because I feel like
I can do a lot with that.
- I know you can
make way more money
with all those followers.
But I'm, like--I'm too lazy,
and I'm not good at it.
- [exhales sharply]
That's really tough.
- Oh, a million dollars.
- I would take
a million dollars.
- How do--
what am I famous for?
What are the 10 million
followers following me for?
Because if they're just
following me for me,
that's weird--
I don't really want that.
- $1 million for sure.
I'm pretty content with
my little bubble of friends,
and a million dollars
would be pretty cool.
I'd take a million dollars.
- But if they're
following me because they,
like, like to watch
me fingerboard,
or they like to,
you know, they--
I make it
comedically somehow
or something, then yeah, sure.
I'll take the followers
for sure.
- California is the social
media capital of the world,
with an estimated 200,000
influencers living here--
most of them in Los Angeles.
Oh, h*.
- Hello.
- No way.
You guys, thanks for having
me over and schooling me
in the ways of social media.
I'm really lame at it.
- OK, well, we're gonna see
what we can work with, so...
- Can we compare nails
just real quick,
before we get started?
Just--
My notoriety
as Dwight Schrute granted me
joys and frustrations I
never could have anticipated.
But I'm curious to understand
the allure of fame
in today's Los Angeles,
where TikTok and Instagram
can change
a person's life overnight,
for better or for worse.
So I'm here with Rave,
Kiera, and Aaron,
members of a TikTok collective
called Vault House.
They spend their days dreaming
up the next viral sensation,
and they've invited me over
to raise the average age
in their house
by like four decades.
OK, so we've got
a dry erase board here.
Let's get started.
- OK.
- Let's talk character arcs,
OK?
- OK.
- We want to break story.
We want to take a series arc,
you know.
Where are we from where we
begin to where we end up, OK?
So is this what
you guys do with--
- Pretty much, just, like,
on our phones, but yeah.
- I mean, this one's a little
more professional than normal.
But yeah.
- Yeah.
- OK, all right.
What are you doing
on your phone
when you're researching
for your writer's room?
- Definitely looking
for trending videos.
- Or sometimes,
it's just a trending audio.
Like, just a sound,
or some music,
or something like that
that works,
and then you just do
your own kind of thing to it.
- So what do you want
to do today?
Let's brainstorm.
Let's figure it out.
What's trending?
- Show him.
- Who's the meanest?
- This is also us.
- Friend group.
- Yeah.
You're gonna be
in our friend group.
- Most likely
to get into a fight?
- That audio exists
out there somewhere.
- Yes.
- We're just going to--
- Redo it.
- But why does
something go viral?
What makes it trend?
- Some people go viral
for being just blatantly hot.
Like, and some people go viral
for an actual talent,
like singing, or--
anything could really pop off.
That's what's so great about
TikTok is that you can have
any form of creativity,
and we all have a chance
of, like, making it happen.
- That's great.
So we've got a bunch
of things right now.
And one other one
I need your help with...
- OK.
- Is figuring out how to make
the bassoon
go viral on TikTok.
- We'll try.
both: We'll try.
- Let's do it.
- Oh, yeah, OK.
- Come on, team.
- Yes, sir.
- Come on.
- [laughs]
- Let's Tok it up.
- [laughs]
- Whoo!
Yeah, good.
All right.
- Who's the meanest?
Most likely to do
weird things in public?
Most likely to break
someone's heart?
- This reminds me
of my early days in improv.
[laughter]
I mean,
if this technology existed
when I was trying to make it,
I would have been
doing the exact same thing,
performing skits,
goofy dances.
- Most likely
to become a porn star?
- Yeah--
- Whatever it took
to get noticed.
- Perfect.
[laughter]
- You all are
really brilliant technicians.
Like, I think people
maybe have the idea
that it doesn't take
any kind of skill or talent,
but there's some--
and you're improvising, right?
- Yeah.
- You're being creative.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Is this the dream?
Do you feel like
you're living the dream?
Because that's what a lot
of people think.
Like, oh, going to LA
to pursue fame and fortune.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you happy here?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- I'm happy.
- Very.
- I love your spirit
and inventiveness.
But we do have this uptick
in mental health crisis
with young people.
- Mm-hmm.
- What's your take
on that connection
with social media and
young people's mental health,
body image, body dysmorphia,
the pressures of beauty culture
that the three
of you are presenting?
- Um, I think there
are a lot of cons,
but I think there's still
a lot of pros to social media.
Like, a lot of connections
that can be made
that you would never be able
to make otherwise
from people
all around the world.
- I think our generation
is getting a lot more help,
and a lot of people
are in therapy now,
and like, seeing therapists
and getting diagnosed.
And a lot of the last
generation wasn't doing that.
- But what if, you know,
there's someone who physically
doesn't feel that good
about themselves in Iowa,
and they're looking at
your videos and being like,
I'll never be as pretty as--
as pretty girl Rave,
and they feel bad?
What do you think
is happening there?
- Society is really rough
on girls, I think, in general.
Without even social media,
I think TV before then
was really big,
magazines were really big.
- But now it's like--
- More accessible.
- It's sped up,
it's more accessible.
It's right on your phone.
It's constant.
It's refreshed every time you
put your thumb on the screen.
- So I've struggled
with dysthymia
since I was seven, which if
you don't know what that is,
it's like chronic depression.
- OK.
- So for me, the reason
I started social media
was to make other people laugh.
Doing all these comedy
skits and, like,
making other people happy was,
like, my escape of like,
you know, being in my own head.
- Yeah.
- Can you talk about
your struggles with depression
with your followers,
or have you?
- I have.
I'm in therapy,
and they know that.
- OK.
- I feel like I'm
very open with that
because I think it's very
important for my supporters,
just being like, if you
are struggling, like,
it's OK to get help
if they need it.
Or I tell them all the time,
"If you need somebody
to talk to, just DM me."
Like, I'm always on my phone.
Hey, guys.
I just finished
my therapy for the day.
You guys already know how
much I love my therapist.
Today we talked about
my dysthymia and my PTSD,
and a lot of my triggers
and symptoms
have been getting reduced
and a lot better.
And I'm like,
OK, look at me go!
- So you see this in some ways
as a service
to your followers?
- Yeah.
- In one study, fame was
the most common life goal
chosen by 10
to 12-year-olds in America.
But as research tells us,
fame,
or any form
of seeking prestige,
is no path to happiness.
It's the difference
between what
psychologists call intrinsic
and extrinsic rewards.
Intrinsic rewards
are the good vibes
we feel from doing things
we genuinely enjoy.
Extrinsic rewards come from
things outside of ourselves.
They're trophies or likes
on social media posts.
They make you feel
good momentarily,
but long-term, they
don't amount to anything.
Aaron, Rave, and Kiera
are happy in Los Angeles
because they
actually love what they do.
Their work scratches
a creative itch for them...
[laughter]
Just as re-enacting
SNL sketches did
for me when I was their age.
- I'm just so lucky to be able
to be surrounded by people
that, like, love me, are also
in the same field as me,
which is also very rare.
I feel like if someone's
in the corporate world,
you don't really make
friends there, you know?
Everyone's, like,
in a little cubicle.
You just make lifelong friends.
- So you found
some deep friendships,
not superficial,
fly-by-night friendships.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- They incorporate fun
into everything they do,
something I think the people
of Thailand would smile upon.
They've even managed
to do the impossible:
Make a double-reed woodwind
instrument look badass.
Bassoon in the house!
[dramatic bassoon music]
Well, you know, sort of.
[bassoon squeaks]
[laughter]
- Can I talk
to you for a second?
Hi, I'm Rainn.
- Hi, I know.
- Yeah.
Where are you from?
- I'm from Manitoba, Canada.
- We're wandering
the world looking for bliss.
How is that working
for you in Manitoba?
- It's great.
- Yeah?
- Absolutely.
- OK.
What about in Los Angeles?
Have you found much here?
[car engine revs]
- It's a nice place,
but I--it's not bliss.
- No?
- No.
- But there's palm trees,
and beaches,
and minor television
celebrities.
- You're not a minor
television celebrity.
- Oh, get on with you.
[laughter]
And now for every
self-absorbed actor's
favorite part...
- The part about themselves.
- Well, I know
he's on "The Office."
I'm pretty sure that
he's got to be Norwegian.
- I know.
I was telling her.
I was like, you don't
know who Rainn Wilson is?
That's Dwight.
[laughs]
- Whoops.
- My friend Ivar is Norwegian,
and they have
the exact same round head
and bulbous features.
- I have his book signed
by him, "The Bassoon King."
I like to watch
his YouTube channel.
- I won $500
for doing a monologue
from Dwight from "The Office."
So Dwight is, like,
my favorite character.
- I have seen "The Office,"
but only a few episodes.
- I've never really seen
it all the way through.
- Yeah, I mean,
it was funny when I saw it.
But you know,
I didn't follow up.
- You work
in Hollywood long enough
and you come to accept that
everyone's got an opinion.
- For me, I think, actually,
it would be Dwight, yeah.
- And most of the time,
they're right.
* *
After meeting Aaron,
Rave, and Kiera,
here I am thinking really,
really deep thoughts
while staring
at the Pacific Ocean,
and realizing how
important priorities are
to surviving here.
With so many
tempting distractions,
LA is like
a choose-your-own-adventure
novel where most
of the outcomes
are leaving town and moving
back in with your parents.
I'm reminded of a friend who,
thanks to understanding
what she values most
in this world,
found true bliss living here.
There's no doorbell.
There's no doorbell.
But it wasn't the path
she ever imagined.
Ah!
- Hello!
- No way!
Hi.
- Hi.
- I brought some...
- Yay, thank you so much.
- Delicious baked goods.
- I have some coffee
and tea for us.
- Oh, great.
I met Ari Meyers
over 20 years ago,
when she attended
a comedy show I was a part of
called "The New Bozena."
And she made
an immediate impression.
The reason I wanted
to talk to you is,
your story has really been
powerful to me over the years.
I remember you being
in this kind of--
not midlife crisis,
but early-life crisis.
It was kind of like,
what am I doing with myself?
What am I doing with my life?
What is going
to ultimately bring me
the most joy, fulfillment?
Delicious.
Unlike my own long and
winding road to stardom,
Ari rose to fame quickly
as a talented child actor.
- I started when I was five.
- Oh, wow.
- Modeling.
A modeling agency came
to my preschool.
- That sounds creepy.
- No, it was for--
- Uh, hey, I'm a, uh--
I'm a modeling agent.
Let me check out
these toddlers.
- It wasn't creepy.
- In her teens,
Ari was in a hit sitcom
called "Kate & Allie."
- Chip, I can't do this.
- But you need an image.
- Yes, but not this image.
- And by her early 20s,
she was booking gigs
on TV shows and movies.
- I thought it was
a very funny script,
so I had a great time.
- She was living the dream.
Well, at least my dream.
Do you miss
show business at all?
- No.
[laughter]
No.
- No?
- I just was, like, not happy.
A lot of it had to do
with focus on appearance.
I think for women,
it's probably
a very different thing.
And I had some experiences
that were challenging,
even when I was a teenager,
with that focus.
You know, being--she's
too heavy, she's too skinny,
she's too--you know,
I think that kind of just got
into my head,
that it became more about that.
And it was never
comfortable for me.
- Mm.
- Never comfortable.
- Being an actor in LA is one
of the most narcissistic
professions there is.
It's all about who likes me,
how do I look,
do you want me,
will you hire me?
It's all just me,
me, me, me, me.
But you shifted from a career
that was all about me
to a career that was
all about you,
that's all
about taking care of people,
that's all
about serving other people.
What does that feel like?
- Amazing.
Such a relief.
I was just like...
[sighs]
It's amazing.
- Ari is now a labor
and delivery nurse
and postpartum doula,
helping families
through this terrifying
and euphoric stage
of their lives.
Having been there
when my wife endured
a pretty harrowing birth
of our own son, Walter,
I'm in awe
of the work Ari does.
- I'm the one there to sort
of take care of the baby,
monitor the baby,
take vital signs.
And it's incredible.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's incredible.
And you get to see parents see
their baby for the first time,
and facilitate that,
and be present for that.
- I remember you talking
about this, changing bedpans...
- Yes.
- And catheters.
You are not the person
I would have ever expected to,
like, roll up your sleeves
and jump into that.
- I discovered
that nursing is so much more.
Like, it's physiology.
It's science.
But you are also
that emotional support.
- Mm-hmm.
[soft music]
* *
Ari also does
home visits after families
have left the hospital.
Are there ugly babies, though?
- There aren't.
- Like, really, seriously?
- There aren't.
Hi.
- Hello.
- Hi!
- Hi, how are you?
- This is Jiri.
This is my friend Rainn.
Thank you so much for letting
him shadow me today.
- Ari is checking in
on mom Alex and dad Jiri,
who she helped after
the birth of their son, Luka.
Come here, Luka.
Come here, Luka.
- But he came out healthy,
happy, and he's been--
- Healthy and happy,
and look at that smile.
Oh!
You're gonna be
a big star, Luka.
A big star.
And what kind of help
did Ari give you guys?
- Everything.
Just basically normalizing
feelings that I had.
I was able to talk
through, you know,
things that were upsetting me,
things that I had doubts about.
And you know, it was all OK.
And it was all OK
to talk about.
- I don't know about you,
but me, at least,
I always felt this,
like, calm when she was here.
Like, there's someone here
who wants to help us
and who knows what
they're doing.
- OK, what do you need?
What's going on?
- What do you think he needs?
You think he needs food?
- I think he needs some food.
- All right, come here.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
Go crazy.
- [chuckles]
- Have you found bliss
in this work?
- I think I have.
If you can find something
that you love to do
that is also of service and
actually helping someone...
- Who gives a sh*t about
auditions and red carpets?
Los Angeles makes it too easy
to fixate on the wrong things,
something that I'm
frequently guilty of.
[gasps]
Good job.
How about a roll over?
Come on.
Part of my transformation
these past months
has been learning
to cut through the noise
and focus on what
actually matters.
It's a cliché, sure.
But my God,
is it an important one.
Well, you know
that Walter's birth was
incredibly traumatic,
and he almost died,
and Holiday almost died.
But that moment was one
of the most powerful moments
of my life,
and I think of anyone's life,
but especially
almost losing the baby.
And then he was brought out
to me and put in my arms
as I sat in this hallway
with blood on the floor.
- Yeah.
- And I looked
into his eyes, and...
it was really
unbelievable.
And it was a series of emotions
that I didn't know I had.
It was kind of a pride
and elation,
and a wonder
at the miracle of life itself.
And it's utterly--
it's transformative.
- Yeah.
- And you get to be a part
of that every week.
- Yeah, in its purest form.
It's sacred, you know.
You're with people
in the most vulnerable parts
of their life.
And they're allowing you
to be there.
- Ari had a vision of what
life in Los Angeles would be,
but found emptiness.
So she adapted,
an ability which I learned
makes people in Iceland
some of the happiest
in the world.
It's a beautiful thing to
realize that just because you
find yourself on one path--
professional,
emotional, spiritual--
doesn't mean
you're destined to stay on it.
Perhaps happiness
in LA means being able
to redefine yourself
on your own terms,
whether that's from actress
to nurse or, in my case,
from unhappy
to figuring it out.
- For the most part,
on good days.
I don't know
if happiness is a place
I'm resting 100% of the time,
but it is a place
that I get to visit a lot.
- Family and friends
are what make me happy.
You can have all
of the money in the world.
You can have the best job.
But if you don't have
those people near you
who support you
and believe in you,
it's not worth it.
- Life's [bleep] hard, and,
you know,
it's difficult to admit that.
We just have to keep trying,
and don't get stuck.
- Finding things that you love
and people that you love,
and surrounding yourself
with that,
I think that's the best
you can do,
no matter where you live.
- I think I'm still working
on finding my happiness.
But I do understand
it's a journey,
and I know I'll get there.
- I don't know,
just an appreciation for life
and this world
because everything's crazy.
[laughs]
- We just got married.
- We're married.
- [laughs]
- And I'm eating pastrami.
- Relationships
with people that I love
brings me the most joy
in life, for sure.
- I love him.
- [laughs]
- And I love him.
[laughs]
- Happiness has more
to do with, like,
how you feel about yourself.
It's more of, like,
a long-term thing.
- The happiest
I've ever felt is right now.
[upbeat music]
- Was that awkward?
- Was it good?
- Aww!
[laughter]
- In my life, there's one
person who constantly keeps me
from going off the rails--
someone who it's
been especially difficult
being away from while
running around planet Earth.
I first met her in an acting
class in the mid '80s.
And while the whole notion
of love at first sight
seems kind of crazy,
that's exactly what happened.
This is my wife,
author Holiday Reinhorn.
I have really learned
from you over the years.
You know,
we both struggle with anxiety,
but I'm consistently the one
that's kind of more
emotionally reactive.
I'm more anxious.
I'm kind of--I'm the one
who's a little more stuck
in my head, from here on up.
- Mm.
- And I really admire, like,
your dailiness
and your weekly practice.
Basically what I'm saying is,
I shouldn't have
traveled the world.
I should have just
talked to you.
How do you think bliss
and happiness work?
Where do they come from?
How do you find yours?
- I used to have these
elaborate, like, to-do lists,
and when Walter was
like five or six,
he was like,
"What's on that list?"
You know,
and I was like, you do yours.
And his was like,
go see if I can see a coyote,
play in the creek,
count how many birds
are in the trees, you know.
And he did it.
And he like,
checked off his list.
And I was like,
"What was your favorite thing?"
And he's like,
"I don't have favorite things.
Everything is my favorite."
And I was like, hmm, you know,
I love that idea,
that the worst possible thing
can have happiness in it.
You've traveled all over
the place doing jobs,
and this time we were in, like,
a 15-hour time difference.
So you were waking up,
and I was going to bed,
vice versa,
which is the worst time.
But it was the best time
ever for us.
Like, it was a little bit like
the bliss transferred over.
- It does shift
your perspective
when you spend every day
talking to people
about finding joy and bliss.
- Yeah, you can't really be
with a monk all day
and then come home and have
a big fight with your wife.
It would feel weird.
[chuckles]
- Part of what
I've learned on my travels
is expressing gratitude,
and I'm so grateful to you.
- Thank you.
- I love you so much.
- Oh, my God.
[laughs]
[upbeat music]
- And so now,
after traveling the world,
swimming in the frozen waters
of the North Atlantic,
and getting my a*s kicked
by a teenager,
the million-dollar
question is, am I happier?
* *
If I'm being honest
with myself,
the answer isn't
black and white.
I certainly understand
much more
about the nature of happiness,
but only a fool would make
sweeping generalizations
about something so important.
So here I go.
Friends are essential.
So is family.
Opa!
Expressing yourself
means everything.
A noise in your head
means nothing.
We can learn to adapt...
Oh, oh, ahh!
And to change
our perspective.
Two Elton Johns.
You know Elton John?
Beaches may be optional...
This is absolutely nuts.
But trust in those
around us is not.
All right.
Let's call it a day.
Embrace nature
in all its glory...
Aghh!
[laughs]
And have as much fun
for the sake
of freaking fun
while you still can.
[cheers and applause]
Walter's gonna play
a little bit.
- OK.
- Most importantly,
I've learned there are
infinite paths to happiness.
It's the Tolstoy quote
turned on its head:
Miserable places
are all alike,
and happy ones are happy
in their own ways.
Not bad.
And so my journey
doesn't end here.
The geography of bliss
is a constantly moving target
and a lifelong endeavor.
Which begs the question,
where's next on this joy ride?
- All right, awesome.
Rainn, I feel good about this.
- OK.
- Unless there's another piece
you--I think it's great.
I think we're good.
- OK.
- Sound speeding?
- You don't have
anything bigger
and more ridiculous-looking
than this?
[bird squawks]
- Again--
[horn honks]
- High fives, high fives.
Anybody want a high five?
- High five.
High fives.
Come on, Oleg.
Pew!
- Yeah.
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01x05 - Happiness Is A Piñata Full of Rodents
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The series follows actor and comedian Rainn Wilson as he travels the world in search of the science and psychology of what makes some places happier than others.
The series follows actor and comedian Rainn Wilson as he travels the world in search of the science and psychology of what makes some places happier than others.