01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

CROWD CLAMOURS

CAMERAS CLICK

Serving ministers are advised

never to bring lawsuits.

If you're in office,

you're supposed to put up with anything.

That's the deal. But I knew very well

that lies were being told about me

not because of anything I'd done,

but because of who I am.

I'm proud to be one of the few politicians

who actually comes from the same background

as the majority of the people I represent

and I never forget that.

So I fought.

And I won.

To quote the national poet

"Thrice is he armed

that hath his quarrel just".

- Thank you.

- CROWD CLAMOURS

One of the country's most popular politicians

brought off the gamble of his life

this afternoon when a jury found

for the transport minister, Peter Laurence

against a newspaper which claimed

he had exploited his position

in government for financial gain.

But the case fell apart when key witness

for the defence, journalist Charmian Pepper

surprised the court by changing her story.

- You're welcome.

- Say thank you to your counsel.

I never doubted it for a moment.

I'm glad you're happy.

It was open and shut,

but thanks all the same.

MAN:

Well, that's one way to thank you.

What's he saying,

"Any fool could have got me off"?

- I don't care. They're always the best cases.

- The ones you win?

No. The ones you win when

you suspect your client is guilty as hell.

CAR DOOR SHUTS

- Still a bloody taxi.

We're going to the Ministry, for God's sake.

Maybe, but you're not on government business.

Not formally.

So typical of her.

- You know the Prime Minister.

- Yeah, I do. Petty.

- JOURNALISTS: Charmian!

- Why did you change your story?

CROWD CLAMOURS

Any comments, Charmian?

Anything I say will only get me

in worse trouble. I'm saying nothing.

Thank you very much.

SHE MUTTERS

- Sorry.

- Oh sorry, my fault. Sorry.

WOMAN: Everyone knows

these have not been easy years.

My three years in office have coincided

with a period of extreme turbulence

in Western economies.

But what's pleased me

is since we inaugurated this access scheme

at Number Ten

how British business and finance

has really stepped up

to help the Conservative cause.

And we're very grateful.

We are always here

to listen to your legitimate concerns

and to help enterprise to thrive.

That's our job. Thank you.

You're on good form, Dawn.

Mind you, we need you

on good form every day.

I don't remember begging

being part of my job description.

What about me? I'm chair of the party,

I ought to be swaying continents.

All I ever do is ask for money.

Ah! You and me both.

- Thank you, Anita.

- Prime Minister.

- Prime Minister.

- Julia

How much?

This afternoon, 200,000.

Well, I endured £200,000 worth of boredom,

so that's a fair exchange.

Depends if you want to

win the next election.

The briefing you asked for on Peter Laurence.

MI5 put it together.

Oh, in an hour?

It was quick because it already existed.

- What, they had their eye on him?

- They'd be derelict if they didn't.

Ah yes, of course.

- Croydon.

- You can't take it away from him.

All that stuff about the tough background

is true. He's authentic.

Retail, retail, selling furniture

property oh, then politics.

And with all those think tanks in between.

British-American Development Forum.

Is that a charity?

It was meant to be, but the charity

commissioners didn't agree.

And its purpose? Aside from dodging tax?

"Transatlantic understanding".

And if that isn't fishy

- What do you want me to do?

- Oh, it's a simple test.

I've done it before. What you do

is open a copy of Who's Who

you look up Peter's official entry,

then compare it to this.

Whatever he's left out,

that's what we're looking for.

- He'll have left it out for a reason?

- Oh, certainly. Whatever it is

he'll want it to be forgotten.

And I'm happy to say

Peter Laurence is with us

after 15 rounds in the High Court

back in his weekly spot,

telling the truth and taking your calls.

Thank you very much, Mick, good to be here.

No, I'm a member of a government

and this is government policy.

No, you you have to forget about Brexit.

It's in the past.

It was a national trauma,

as you call it, and

But it's a trauma we came through.

It's over.

I'm not interested in the old

arguments, the world is changing so fast

and the exciting thing is keeping up.

Brown sauce.

PETER LAUGHS

This

No, no, that's a good point.

I am a relaxed Conservative

who admires progress.

I admire anybody who finds a cause

that they genuinely believe in

and I'm I'm at peace with all kinds

of causes, could be Nelson Mandela

or the suffragettes,

I don't have to agree with every word of it

I admire anybody who just stands strong

and and free

and doesn't give over their life

to apology and guilt.

To me, conservatism,

it's about loving the idea of the future.

- Well, don't you sound like a lovely man?

- PETER LAUGHS

Yes. You pick a system to suit the team.

If I say one more word

about Manchester United

Exactly, I rose through the system

and I want everyone else

to have that chance too.

MAN: They nearly got you this time,

didn't they, Peter?

- In court, that newspaper.

- Right.

- They nearly had you.

- Well, all I can say to that

William of Walthamstow, is in your dreams.

He don't look worried to me, Billy.

He looks radiant.

HE LAUGHS

OK.

AIDE:

You need to listen to this.

On your personal. Came through yesterday.

I didn't want to bother you

till after we got the verdict.

Who is it?

It's somebody that says she's your daughter.

Which one? The one who doesn't speak to me

or the other

Neither of them.

- Then who?

- A new one.

She says.

A third. Another daughter.

DISTANT HORNS HONK

I'll cancel all your appointments.

LOCK BUZZES

WOMAN:

Is that Peter Laurence?

WOMAN 2:

We were told he's visiting a constituent.

What's wrong with that?

Just that Steff lives in Tower Hamlets.

So what makes you think you're my daughter?

I don't claim to be your daughter.

Then what is this?

I was sent by your daughter.

Where is she?

Not ready to meet you yet. She sent me.

Is she a fellow inmate?

Let's be clear, I've got two daughters,

they're both legitimate.

I know for a fact that the younger one

is studying at Leeds at the moment

I expect her to get a first-class degree

in mathematics

and I've got a pretty good idea

of where the older one is too.

Yeah, where's that?

It's none of your business.

DISTANT CLAMOUR

My friend reckons you were

a bit of a Jack the Lad back in the '90s.

Notting Hill, was it?

Yes, I I lived

in the Ladbroke Grove area.

She could have read anywhere.

Do you remember the name

of every woman you slept with?

No. Do you?

Do you remember the colour

of every woman you slept with?

I'm not gonna have this conversation,

least of all with someone I don't even know.

You know that I have something on you

or else why would you even be here?

You're not my daughter.

- Did I say that I was though?

- Come on, let's go.

Yeah. Not yet.

What do you mean, not yet?

Are you in on this?

I had a preliminary conversation

with Steff last night.

Without telling me?

I wasn't gonna let you

walk into anything sight unseen.

We saw you on the news,

coming out of the court.

- "We"?

- Your daughter and me.

So she is in the prison?

So she is your daughter?

Have you been in a prison before?

A few of my constituents

have ended up inside.

Hmm. Bet you're full of stupid ideas.

- Am I?

- Your party is.

So you're not a Conservative then?

You think we're all high as ba*ls.

Drugs flown in on drones so we can

have cell parties and sh**t crack.

The truth is, prison is mostly just boring.

Then it got really interesting

cos I met your daughter.

Tell me her name.

LOCK BUZZES

- DOOR SHUTS

A daughter that I don't know about!

Given that I didn't meet anyone

who actually claimed to be my daughter.

No, but we did meet someone

that knows an awful lot about you.

Yeah, but she said it herself,

prison's boring.

They've got nothing to do

except read Wikipedia.

She's obviously been prepped by someone.

I thought you handled it beautifully,

Minister.

Sure. But what exactly did I handle

Someone who might

bring about a paternity suit.

Arms up, please.

Thank you.

Officer, I understand the need for security

on the way into prison

but on the way out?

I just wanna be sure

you're not smuggling anything out.

That's Parallax procedure, sir.

Could you turn round for me?

Parallax?

At some point, you're gonna tell me why

you think that was a risk worth taking.

I made a judgement call.

I'm looking at Twitter

There's a significant minority

who think you've already taken a blow.

As you say, a minority.

You went to court to defend your reputation.

There are some people that don't like that.

They think it's un-English.

They think that politicians should

suck it up and be good sports.

PETER:

I won! I won the bloody case!

It was something we had to do

and you know why.

AIDE: Now a woman's threatening to remind

the electorate that you used to sleep around.

PETER: "Jack the Lad?" How many years

since you've heard anyone say that?

AIDE:

Worse still, in West London.

Oh, so it's a postcode offence, is it?

I'm a phoney because I lived in Notting Hill?

More to the point, you've slept with so many

women that you can't even remember.

Can I just say that back then,

nobody was counting?

Look maybe you had a baby,

maybe you didn't.

You don't even know what colour she is.

How does that look?

Promiscuity's out of fashion.

In your day, sex was liberation.

Nowadays, it's exploitation.

An awful lot of angry women out there

and 100 years ago,

somebody gave them the vote.

- Can I tell you something, Duncan?

- Please do.

You are hopelessly stuck

in the 20th century.

I have always been a rule-breaker.

People like me because I break the rules.

That's my appeal!

- It's my USP.

- I hope you're right, Minister.

Voters think of me as a character

and they'd much rather be led by characters

than by zombies.

Do I really have to go back in this car?

It's filthy.

- Peter

- PHONE CHIMES

Whoops!

- We've been summonsed to Downing Street.

- "Summonsed"?

Is that the same as summoned?

Or is it better or worse?

PHONES RING

- Hi.

Done.

- Bundle ready.

- Cheers, mate.

Thank you.

Ah, you are going to Birmingham.

Traffic offence.

Well, can't someone else do it?

- No.

- Why not?

It's a local councillor, caught drunk

and doing 50 in a built-up area.

- I suppose he's saying his wife was ill.

- No, his son.

Compassionate speeding, is that my plea?

Uh, don't sit down,

you're on the 7.30 from Euston.

Oh, and a woman called apparently.

- A woman? Does she have a name?

- Margaret.

Says she has essential evidence

which will affect the Peter Laurence case.

Well, she's a bit late, isn't she?

We settled that case an hour ago.

There's a number. Take it.

What, so I can appeal against

my own victory?

No, so I can say I did my job.

- JOURNALIST: Do you feel vindicated, Minister?

- CAMERAS CLICK

What does the Prime Minister

have to say about all this?

- Are you going to sue anyone else, Peter?

- CROWD CLAMOURS

Thank you.

Hello there. Hello.

Peter, congratulations.

We were never really worried.

- No, nor was I.

- Good going.

The sooner we catch up, the better.

- Ah!

- PETER: It's a date.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

- Prime Minister.

Ah, Peter.

You're a member of government again?

I wasn't aware that I'd left it.

Oh, you would've done

if they found you were lying.

- PETER: Julia.

- Minister.

PETER:

Not really a question of lying.

Not you.

DAWN: Well, I can't say I understood

every detail of the trial.

Sherlock Holmes says somewhere,

"The mind's an attic".

Its walls are not elastic.

JULIA:

Coffee, Minister?

No, thank you.

I have the feeling that you're you're

trying to tell me something, Prime Minister.

Correct.

A newspaper accused you of profiting

from your time in government

and lying about it.

You've been found innocent.

My question is, is there anything else?

HE SCOFFS

Is there anything else what?

DAWN:

Well, are there other scandals?

Potential scandals we need

to know about, Peter?

I I did SVQ.

Oh, I know, but standard vetting isn't always

enough in this age of the internet.

Kick a dog in the street and you can be sure

some passer-by has got a camera.

I don't kick dogs.

Then what do they say?

"It's not the lie, it's the cover-up."

You keep using that word, "lie".

I am asking you to shake all the skeletons

out of your closet, right now

and that way I can make

an informed decision.

- About what?

- About your future.

Dawn, there are two things

I don't like about your question.

Sounds like we're digging in

for a long answer.

PETER: First, it implies that there was ever

anything in the first place.

Oh, fair enough. I do take that point.

And the second is that

if you're asking me

to trawl through my private life

that is something we really should be doing

at ministerial level.

Well, victory in court

certainly made you very hoity-toity.

What are you trying to say?

You don't want Julia in the room?

No, I'm just pointing out

Julia is my eyes and ears.

You know that, Peter.

She has time to sweat

about the little stuff. I don't.

Oh, so I'm the little stuff now, am I?

No. But if you want to make

an enemy of Julia

No, I absolutely don't.

I like Julia.

But as I say, there is a big difference

between you and me and Julia.

And what's that?

We're elected. She's not.

The weird thing is,

you paint me as this populist

but I have a lot more respect

for the procedures than you do.

Ministers have the right to speak together

without the presence of third parties.

I've got the code in the car,

if you want to have a look.

I take it with me everywhere.

Julia's my gatekeeper.

PETER:

I know that.

Nothing gets past Julia.

I know that too.

Peter, your decision to sue for libel

was risky, worse than risky,

it was foolhardy.

And I am not willing to have my government

put in the dock again.

- Me neither.

- So you're saying you're clean?

Squeaky.

- And you'll never again resort to the law?

- Never.

Good.

Because I'm planning a re-shuffle.

Ah. I didn't know.

Nobody does. Keep it that way.

- When?

- DAWN: As soon as we can.

And it suits my purpose to promote you.

- To promote me?

- Yes.

Good. Because I was

I was half thinking that you might

Sack you?

What on Earth made you think that?

I've got you pencilled in

for a great office of state.

Well, I am, of course, delighted.

- You can't say which?

- Use your imagination.

You know as well as I do who's failing.

Let's just say not everyone's

as versatile as you are, Peter.

That's it.

I've got the Chinese coming for dinner.

Well, thank you, Prime Minister.

DOOR OPENS

No, I know the way.

DOOR SHUTS

Thank you very much.

DUNCAN:

Thank you.

CROWD CLAMOURS

- CAMERAS CLICK

Yes! Got my car back.

- And more important, I've got Sydney back!

- Sir.

All is well with the world.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

- PHONES RING

- Come in.

- Thank you.

You've met our proprietor?

DOOR SHUTS

Never.

MAN: Lady Roche is down

from Scotland for the day.

So you're Charmian Pepper?

MAN: We're just congratulating you

on a journalistic first.

We break records on this paper

and this is a record broken

surely the most disastrous lawsuit

in our history.

Joe's been wonderful.

He couldn't have been more loyal.

Really stood by his writer.

At some cost.

I know it's bad. Reputationally

Is that a word?

But it's not gonna mean hard cash, is it?

Alisha?

Insurance companies are the same

as everyone else. They don't like paying.

- I'm sure.

- Nobody pays these days unless they have to.

And even then, they don't.

But they have to pay, don't they?

I mean, insurance companies

are in the business of risk.

Well, this lawsuit was always a risk.

How naive are you, Charmian?

I mean, did you just come up the Thames

on a banana boat?

What is this? The 1950s?

You think my word is my bond?

I don't think I'm naive.

I can't believe you worked

as a financial journalist.

"Worked"?

JOE:

Charmian, you changed your story!

- I know.

- In court. Under oath!

You changed your story!

I had no choice.

You claimed Peter Laurence

was in Washington DC in January 2015

collecting fees he didn't report.

- I know.

- But he wasn't, was he?

- Not according to his diary.

- The diary had been altered.

- Altered?

- It had been tampered with.

Then why didn't you say that in court?

Why didn't you say that?

- Because I knew.

- JOE: Knew what?

Because I knew it would sound feeble.

So it does.

And impossible to prove, given there was

no sign of alteration on the computer.

Yeah, bit of a can of worms,

that, wasn't it?

I'd seen the physical diary.

So you keep saying.

I saw it! I saw it myself with my own eyes!

I know he was there.

But you can't say when you saw the diary

and you can't say where.

- I can't.

- No.

Come on, Joe.

It would breach confidentiality.

Unfortunate, that, isn't it?

I didn't think yielding on that point

would turn out to be crucial.

JOE:

Yeah, well, it was.

"Reputationally", as you would say.

With respect, Joe, there's no point

in going over this.

Our insurance was on the basis

of what the defendant was going to say.

CHARMIAN:

Sorry?

Is there a problem?

Are you saying that the insurance

was conditional?

All insurance is conditional.

If you'd like to see it,

it's laid out in a series of clauses.

As soon as you altered your story,

a new clause kicked in.

Are you saying because I changed my story

the paper's no longer indemnified?

JOE: When you arrived, I thought you were

a shrewd appointment, Charmian.

I really did. You were getting access.

Short skirts were a help and

like how every banker

wanted to take you home.

Well, OK, maybe not home,

but at least to a hotel.

Well, that's another blow to the patriarchy,

I guess. I was wrong.

You just cost your employer £1.5 million

and that, Charmian,

is why we're letting you go.

In the circumstances.

PETER:

Why aren't we taking the bridge?

SYDNEY:

Student march, sir.

What are they marching about?

Their own fees, I suppose.

I get the impression it's more general, sir.

How you've robbed them of their future.

Me personally?

SYDNEY:

No, sir.

All of you.

PETER:

There they all are!

Gathered to strew rose petals in my path.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you, thanks, thank you

- Congratulations.

Wonderful news, Minister, congratulations.

Everyone's delighted.

- Thank you, Joy.

- We didn't know if you'd be back tonight.

No, I think I'm gonna go out

and celebrate my victory if that's alright.

Well, in that case

In that case, this case!

- Slight pile-up, I'm afraid.

- It's alright, that's fine.

Thanks, everyone!

You're, erm, Peter Laurence, aren't you?

PETER:

Er, yes, I am.

Fantastic.

Congratulations!

- That's very kind, thank you.

- Any chance of a selfie?

Yeah, sure.

- Er, where do you want

- Here, let me.

- Thank you!

- Do it against Yeah.

Alright, cool, OK.

Alright

You took it to the b*stards. Well done.

- Fake news!

- I don't think they'll be trying that again.

- Thank you!

- PETER: Alright?

- Nice to meet you.

- Yes, nice to meet you. Take care.

- Alright then, bye-bye.

- He's wonderful, isn't he?

He is indeed.

So, Sydney, are we going through

the usual rigmarole again?

I'm afraid so, sir.

Are you going to be doing any work?

Probably not.

- In that case

- I know.

He'll take a taxi.

- Thank you, sir.

- Alright.

Sir?

Can you advise

In the morning, where do I pick you up?

I'll call you.

SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

- PETER: Thanks very much.

- DRIVER: Cheers, pal.

- Have a good evening.

- Night!

DRIVER:

Thank you.

SOFT JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES

Ha! Been a few years.

I've been waiting for you.

I saw the result on television.

Well, I've always said it.

There are no victories in politics.

You just avoid setbacks.

And losing that case would've

been worse than a setback

it would've been a rout.

I was nervous.

You were? For me? Really?

Just a little.

Yeah, so was I.

I'd have been roadkill.

She'd have had me for dinner

with redcurrant jelly.

Still, you saw off your enemies.

You blew them against the wall.

There was some sort of technicality,

have I got that right?

Er, no, it wasn't a technicality.

Their case just fell apart.

It was actually sort of embarrassing.

The journalist changed her story.

Why was that?

Do you really want to go into this?

It's in the past.

They claimed you were on the way

to privatising the NHS.

Let's not say privatising,

let's say preserving.

Let's say giving it the future it deserves.

And she said there was a trail

of shell companies and offshore funds.

I'm not sure any layman

could possibly follow.

Oh, so now I'm a layman, am I?

Let's go to bed.

SIREN WAILS

CHARMIAN:

Hi, my name is Charmian, I'm an alcoholic.

ALL:

Hi, Charmian.

Erm

Today, I was sacked from my job.

I always knew journalists

were b*stards but

not a single colleague stepped forward

to say "sorry".

And I knew if I didn't make it

to this evening's meeting

I was gonna lose it.

I'd have had a bottle of white wine

by now without even noticing.

I'd just have a nice buzz on,

and be starting my second.

The problem with getting sober, for me,

is that

I I only managed it a few months ago.

Well, 94 days.

- Um

- GROUP MUTTERS

And I've been expecting, like

a reward.

And I know it's bad luck,

but at the same time

I happened to get into a lot of trouble

with a very powerful man.

And he has been pursuing me

with absolute determination.

To destroy me, to destroy my reputation

to destroy my livelihood, um

Sorry, erm

I'm not gonna say any more.

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you.

Forget about it.

We were both in the same courtroom

this week.

On different sides.

I go to the meeting every night

and everything that's said

is completely confidential.

I know that.

If it wasn't a safe space,

it would have no value at all.

It's not my usual meeting.

I wondered

if you're just going home to an empty flat,

and it's none of my business if you are

None.

I wondered if you'd like

to have a coffee with me.

For what it's worth, I-I didn't think

what happened today was fair.

You were working for Peter Laurence,

so, that's it.

I was on his team, yeah.

So, there's nothing more to say.

There's a lot more to say.

It's a bit late for coffee.

I'm not gonna turn on the lights.

It would suggest a level of confidence

I don't have.

No. Nor me.

DOOR OPENS

I want to give you my news.

What news?

I told you I was up for a job in Austin.

- Mm-hmm.

- I got it.

- In Texas?

- Mm-hmm.

You gonna take it?

It's one of the greatest libraries

in the world.

Tell me what you're thinking.

What am I thinking?

I'm thinking, "Wow".

"Wow" good or "wow" bad?

Both.

Just taking it in.

On one level, I am very happy for you.

And on another level?

It's not about me, is it?

We've always been free, both of us.

Congratulations!

And I went by Downing Street this afternoon.

Did you? Why?

Same as you. New job.

What sort of job?

Well, stinking Bishop has been making

an absolute pig's ear

out of being Foreign Secretary.

Well, that's wonderful.

Did Dawn say Foreign Office?

Not in so many words,

but it's pretty obvious.

There's only four great offices of state:

Prime Minister, Chancellor

Home Secretary, Foreign Secretary

and as Bishop's the only one making enemies

and being generally incompetent

it's pretty clear where I'm headed.

I thought Dawn hated you.

No, she doesn't hate me!

She fears me, which is different.

Great Britain is going to be redefined.

As what? As what exactly?

It can't all be nostalgia.

Dunkirk, White Cliffs and Winston.

So what's it gonna be?

This is the moment we start again,

as a nation.

Nothing more ambitious than that?

I thought you liked ambition.

Well, I must do, mustn't I?

Did you tell your wife?

No.

Your daughter?

PUNK MUSIC BLARES

INDISTINCT CHATTER

DISTANT PUNK MUSIC PLAYS

CAMERA CLICKS

Lily, I think you should slow down.

I think I should speed up.

Just to say I've been thinking about

what you said last night.

Oh, yeah? Which part?

About how badly I needed the ride?

HE LAUGHS

No. No, not that.

Though I'm pleased you did.

Yeah, me too.

No, it's, um it's what you told me

about being sacked.

What about it?

Well, look, it's none of my business, but

off the record, if you don't mind,

I'd, um

I'd quite like to give you legal advice.

PHONE BUZZES

Luke?

I wanted you to know I bumped

into Charmian Pepper.

Bumped into?

What the hell does "bumped into" mean?

She lost her job.

What do you want me to say?

She libelled a public figure.

Yeah, I know.

I just thought you should know.

SHE SIGHS

PAPERS RUSTLE

WOMAN ON VOICEMAIL:

Hi, this is Margaret. Leave a message.

CLERK:

All rise.

Morning.

WOMAN:

Good morning.

- Morning.

- Morning, Peter.

M i n i st e r.

Joy. You've obviously heard?

How do you know everything before I do?

"A great office of state".

Whitehall telegraph.

I will obviously be taking you with me.

I would love that, sir.

- Duncan.

- Minister.

Minister, the diary.

What is it, sir?

You've got a, um

I don't know what that is.

It doesn't matter.

I always keep another. A spare. I'll change.

- It's fine.

- I know how much you

Three young children, you know?

I remember.

She's getting worse.

Tell me about it.

You can't get rid of her.

Under any circumstances.

Joy knows everything.

You don't have to remind me.

She knows what you did.

What we did.

Problem?

You like working for him, don't you?

Why wouldn't I?

I don't know, he seems

picky.

He has standards.

Once you get to know him, Peter's the best.

M i n i st e r.

- Yes?

- Briefing for the electrification meeting.

- Deficit funding paper.

- Thank you.

Cycle paths, Network Rail recommendations,

Gatwick Airport expansion

Hold on, hold on, why am I doing this?

"Road haulage meeting"?

It's cabinet today. It's Thursday.

There is no cabinet meeting.

- Why not?

- My information is it's been cancelled.

Why?

Because, as of this moment,

there is no cabinet.

So why hasn't she called me in?

There's a delay.

What sort of delay?

I think you'll find the Prime Minister

is having a degree of difficulty

imposing her will.

What the hell is this?

Just tell me.

Certain people who were meant to quit

aren't quitting.

Apparently she's having

a particular problem with Bishop.

Bishop But he's the one

that everyone wants to get rid of!

He is the fatberg

in the drain of government.

Why won't he go?

Bishop and Dawn had a meeting

at breakfast. He's pushing back.

- Pushing back?

- Yeah.

She told me I was gonna be promoted.

Peter, you are going

to be Foreign Secretary.

You know as well as anyone,

it's like any re-shuffle

pushback's always a part of it.

Pushing back with what?

What leverage does Bishop have, do we know?

It's something to do with a holiday.

Oh no, not that!

A holiday Bishop took with Dawn.

Everybody knows about Mallorca!

That's been going round for years.

In Westminster, yes.

Well, some chatty waiters

and dirty bedsheets

It's a lot of allegations and no proof.

We don't know.

That is ridiculous.

Even so.

You could put wheels on that woman,

she still wouldn't be a bus.

Keep out of it, Minister.

Play the long game.

His daughter's on drugs,

and she's not even trying to hide it

and

she had sex with a couple of boys

on the way out.

It's Lily Laurence.

You see right up her skirt.

I'm not sure

INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE

Hold on a minute.

That's Charmian.

Yeah. She's been in.

I don't understand.

I-I thought I let her go.

She's been seeing Human Resources.

Gender bias.

- What the hell's that supposed to mean?

- When you fired her

you said you'd employed her

because you admired her short skirts.

- That's not what I said.

- You said something like it.

She's saying her dismissal

is therefore inoperative.

She wants damages.

She wants a tribunal.

She was offended, Joe!

And she had every right to be.

Rubbish! I know what I said.

Alisha, Charmian lost us 1.5 million

through inaccurate reporting!

The wisest thing is to talk to her.

HE HUFFS

WOMAN WHISPERS:

Yeah, he's coming.

- Here he is

- Thanks.

Before you say anything

- Oh, I've got a lot to say.

- I'm sure.

Can I just say first that contrary

to everything you've been told

Peter Laurence was in Washington DC

on 13th January 2015.

I can't believe this!

He was at a dodgy think tank

called British-American, selling off the NHS.

According to you.

In spite the fact that his wife is claiming

that he was in New York with her, shopping.

- And can I say something in return?

- Go ahead.

Peter Laurence is a passionate fan

of the free market.

You don't like him, Charmian

I don't dislike him.

A man whose expertise is in retail,

in property, isn't your type

I can understand that.

He wouldn't be a popular guest

at a Hampstead dinner party.

- I don't live in Hampstead.

- But if you want to be a journalist, sorry

you've got to put

personal prejudice aside.

Now, just because he's right-wing

doesn't mean he's a criminal.

Joe, I'm gonna need to be re-hired.

Not forever.

Just for a few weeks.

I've taken legal advice.

Who from?

I'm not at liberty to say.

Why not?

It's private.

I really want you to send me to Washington.

What, you're asking us to pay?

Would you prefer if I pursued compensation?

- You wouldn't.

- Are you sure, Joe?

You really think I wouldn't do it?

You mentioned weeks. How many weeks?

- Four.

- Two.

I need to do more digging.

I believe I can access new sources,

with a bit of luck.

I'll give you three. Bucket class?

- Of course.

- One way?

No, Joe.

Sorry, unfortunately not.

I took the liberty of buying myself

a ticket.

I'm gonna nail Peter Laurence

once and for all.

You might even get your one and a half back.

WOMAN:

Remember, it's Parallax Policy.

Any drugs at all,

and privileges will be revoked.

LOCKS BUZZ

- Right, everyone! Out of your cells!

Drug search!

Everyone, out of your cells!

Off to the canteen!

Off to the canteen, ladies! Thank you.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Ma'am?

Bryony? Pick it up, please.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Where's the ice-cream?

COOK:

They've stopped all privileges.

Look, don't mug me off,

can you just get me some ice-cream?

I said we ain't got none.

Look, that's all I'm eating, yeah?

Can you just please get me some ice-cream?

I want some ice-cream, OK!

Why are you looking at me like that?

SHE SCREAMS:

I want some ice-cream!

INMATES CLAMOUR

INMATES ROAR

Jamie, come on.

Alright!

That's enough!

INMATES HUSH

Keep it down, please!

WAITRESS:

Orange soup?

It's a clam rissole.

Arugula wrap?

Seaweed with truffle shave?

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

- GUESTS CHATTER

STAFF CLAMOUR

- CUTLERY CLATTERS

Alright?

PHONE BUZZES

What the hell is this?

WOMAN:

Can we meet?

- I'm in Birmingham.

- So?

Don't you remember you called me?

Told you I had some important evidence

but if you're in Birmingham, forget it.

Margaret

It is Margaret, isn't it?

I was Peter Laurence's lawyer.

Why on Earth do you think

I'd now want to convict him?

I did a gut check. You looked much

the most intelligent person in the court.

Does that mean that you were in court?

Did I see you?

Who are you

and what's your connection to this?

Peter Laurence likes to pretend

he's unencumbered.

The bright, fresh future

and nothing holding him back.

But he's got a past just like everyone else.

And his past is a bloody sight more sinister

than yours or mine.

Look into it.

ALARM WAILS

Alright, everyone, finish up!

We haven't had a half-hour.

Bang up!

Prison policy, Andrea.

We find drugs, we lock down!

You're moving back to your cell.

Come on.

Andrea. No, Andrea

TRAYS BANG

ANDREA SCREAMS

INMATES CLAMOUR

INMATES YELL

We need help! Get to the

GUARD: Alpha One to SP.

Back-up needed in the

INMATES CLAMOUR

INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER

This looks bad.

Steff, be careful!

You've got a short sentence

and they'll make it longer.

And that should bother me why?

ALARM WAILS

INMATES CHEER

OK, straight away, they want you.

Thank God.

Just one thing, so you know

There's a newsfeed

saying there are riots at Shephill.

- Does that concern us?

- Not at all.

I'm just telling you.

Except

let's hope there are injuries.

Better still

fatalities.

Quite.

SIREN BLARES

OK, all good.

CROWD CLAMOURS

- CAMERAS CLICK

MAN:

Good luck, Peter!

KNOCK ON DOOR

- Come.

Look here it is.

Stanfield Titles. He was managing director.

Oh, what's Stanfield Titles?

From his property days?

You said he'd have left something

out of Who's Who.

- Oh, good. Can you find out some more?

- I'm on it. Ready for this?

Oh, locked and c*ck.

M i n i st e r.

PETER:

Julia.

- Prime Minister.

- Ah!

Good, Peter, excellent,

thanks for coming in so quickly.

PETER:

Happy to be here.

Well, I've had a complicated day

but at the end of it all,

I've got good news. As promised.

I am delighted.

I'd like you to take over

at the Ministry of Justice.

- Justice?

- Certainly.

I'm sick and tired

of all that chopping and changing.

Do you know there's been six ministers

in that department over the last four years?

Is that right?

Justice badly needs someone steady,

someone competent

someone intellectually first-rate.

That's very kind of you to put me

in that category, Prime Minister.

Coming from you, that is high praise.

Oh, thank you.

But surely you already have someone

capable in that position, don't you?

Well, we did until a few hours ago.

Things have been moving

at the speed of light. You'll do it better.

The Prime Minister

has great confidence in you.

Can I ask a question?

Oh, ask anything you like.

Does this mean that the Foreign Secretary's

not moving?

No, unfortunately the Foreign Secretary

is leaving government.

It's a shame to lose Bishop, but, er,

there we are.

If you remember, when we met,

we met yesterday

Oh yes, Julia was with us.

You indicated that my move

would be to a great office of state.

DAWN:

Well, there it is.

Justice.

After all, you seem to enjoy

the inside of a courtroom.

Now you have the chance to see many.

The great offices of state

are normally defined as four.

Justice is not one of them.

Well, if it isn't, it ought to be.

Now, privatisation

is one of our flagship policies.

But in the case of prisons,

it isn't working.

We need an exceptional minister

to sort it out.

Yes, that's right.

Dawn, you know very well that I have just

successfully cleared my reputation.

I had expected you to reward me.

DAWN:

I am rewarding you.

You've heard about the riots at Shephill?

No. What is Shephill?

A woman's prison.

Shephill, no.

We need someone to act decisively,

we need someone to act fast

and that's why we've turned to you.

Oh

unless of course, there's a reason

why you shouldn't take on Justice?

- No reason.

- DAWN: No personal reason?

No, why do you ask?

Well, you're not pushing back,

are you, Peter?

Would you prefer a time outside government?

They say, don't they, it gives one

a greater freedom to speak one's mind?

No, I feel as if I have plenty of freedom

inside government.

Good. Then we have a deal.

Thank you, Prime Minister.

Not at all.

DOOR SHUTS

Thank you.

OK

CAMERAS CLICK

- CROWD CLAMOURS

MAN:

Are you gonna be Foreign Secretary, Peter?

WOMAN:

Is it good news, Mr Laurence?

That was good fun.

JULIA CHUCKLES

- Did you see his face when I said "Justice"?

I don't know who your informant was

and I don't want to know.

All I can say is you made

a Prime Minister very happy.

- Goodnight.

- Prime Minister.

DOORBELL BUZZES

INTERCOM BUZZES

We need to get a move on.

Anyone finds out we've got these,

we're gonna be injuncted.

The proprietor won't like it.

I'll take that risk.

Lady Roche doesn't like unpleasantness.

Then she shouldn't own a newspaper,

should she?

Print.

INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE

MICK: You're not going to give us

a scoop then, Peter?

You're not going to tell us where

you're gonna be next?

I am not, Mick,

I'm gonna leave that to the Prime Minister.

JINGLE PLAYS

- This is AllTalk Radio.

You've been listening to Peter Laurence

and me, Mick the Mouth Murray.

Until tomorrow.

JINGLE ENDS

Not happy?

Off the record

I'm angrier than I've ever been

in my f*cking life.

THEY YELL

Get back!

Get off me!

INMATES YELL

HEAD THUDS

WOMAN:

Go, go, go!

Come on!

DISTANT YELLS

PHONE BUZZES

- Charmian?

- I'm back on.

I'm going to Washington.

Thank you, Luke. Thank you so much.

And I know exactly how I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna get the b*stard.