02x08 - Birds of a Feather

[bunniefuu]

Well, I'm sorry, Ol,

but I'm not allowed
to keep it in the bedroom.

Hey, got some exciting news
about my app,

if you're interested.

Well, I'm just trying to distract you
from the pain.

I need to live in
a place elsewhere

where stupid people don't put
stupid things in stupid places!

Sorry, darling.

Oh, you stupid...

I got the party bag mix.

Bye.

Oh, no, no, no!

- No, no, no!
- Que Paso?

Matias! Huh?

Bueno.

Turty-Turts. Hey.

Oh, hey.

- Am I early for changeover?
- No.

There's blood in Turtle's poo.

What?

- See?
- Goodness.

Hey, Turty-Turts.

- You OK?
- Are you all right?

Shh, yes, I know.

We're gonna go in a second.

OK, so, J...

...if Mummy has $68
in her bank account

and her dream costs 55,

then how many nappies
can JJ go through

before we all go broke?

I agree.

"Assuming the diet
has remained constant,"

"common causes
of abnormal droppings"

"include intestinal diseases,
kidney disease,"

"liver diseases, bacterial
or viral infections,"

"parasitic infections..."

Oh, no, no,
just stop reading it.

"..Or parrot fever, a common
cause of liver disease"

"may produce lime-green
droppings in some birds."

Well, it wasn't lime green,
it was sort of greenish.

Can you look up
"greenish poo with blood"?

Well, obviously any colour
is not good in blood.

Yeah, and he keeps puffing up.
Can you look up "puffy bird"?

Puffy...

- Hey, Ol.
- Hey, where are you?

Oh! What do you mean?

We were supposed to go swimming.

Oh, sorry, darling,
we've got a bird emergency.

That sounds fake.

- Puffy or fluffy?
- Yeah, look...

Turtle's a bit woozy and we
think he's got blood in his poo.

Right.

- Is that why we never had pets?
- Oh, look, this is really serious.

We're gonna head to the vet
right now.

Puffy bird is bad,
fluffy bird is bad,

all poo things are bad.

For the three of us, 22.50?

Whoa, I had no idea
it was that expensive.

Hey, man.
How you going?

Just three of us.

- 22.50, huh?
- That's it.

Have a good swim.

Where are you going?
Where are you going?

Thanks, man.

Yeah.

- Squirt. Squirt, squirt.
- Oh, whoa! Squirt, squirt!

You know, you could save
so much money

if you grow your own vegetables.

- Or if you buy 'em wholesale.
- How many vegetables do you eat?

The empanadas eat them.

You know, we could
buy chickens too.

Just as long as my parents

aren't allowed
anywhere near them,

because evidently
they are not bird people.

I was thinking that I could
start up tutoring again.

Or another part-time job.

In all your spare time?

Yes.

It's just... you care about
school, Oly.

I don't.

I'm happy to pick up
more shifts.

You know I can do two things
at once, right?

Can she?

Whoo!

We would need to do
some tests to confirm,

but I'm expecting it to be
heavy metal poisoning.

Does the bird have a name?

Uh, Turtle.

Bird's name's Turtle.

Do you and Turtle
live in an old place?

It's not our place.

But we do take
full responsibility.

Oh, yeah, of course we do, yeah.

It's quite common in this area.

There's Reno after Reno,
but the birds

can still peck through
the layers of paint

to the original lead coating.

Oh.

So to confirm a diagnosis,

we would need to do
a preliminary blood test,

an X-ray.

I'm afraid he's likely had
a small seizure,

so anticonvulsants
would be an option.

And if toxicosis is confirmed,

we'd treat him
with fluid therapy.

What's that?

It's akin to kidney dialysis
in humans.

Dialysis?

We wouldn't expect
that we'll need to remove

any particles surgically,

but the X-ray
would tell us that.

That would be a more
substantial form of treatment.

The cost of diagnosis
and treatment

might be something
you'd like to think about.

It can cost a lot of money.

4,800.

Plus GST.

I understand
it's a difficult decision,

but if you decide
not to proceed,

that's understandable.

What happens
if we don't proceed?

He'll die.

No, we can't do that.

- I'll give you a minute.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

sh*t!

It's expensive.

But I'd say we have
a moral obligation to it.

Oh, yeah, I'm just wondering

what card
are we gonna put it on.

I don't have that money
in my account.

- Well, I can get it.
- With what?

I've had an offer. On the app.

I'm serious.

What are you laughing at?
It's 21 grand.

I can pay for this easily.

I didn't even know
you'd finished building it.

Well, I haven't, then the idea
will probably get shelved

as soon as the sale goes
through, but...

Hm.

That seems like a shame.

Yeah, actually, now that
you mention it, I do...

Maybe I will say no.

I do wanna get the app made,
you know?

Actually help people.

Mm.

You know, don't sell it
if you don't want to sell it.

Yeah, but...

Maybe I was already getting
bored of it, you know?

Mm.

Turtle?

- Whoa!
- sh*t.

What?

$581?

I thought it was a parent spot,
I thought it was...

I didn't think
it was disabled parking.

Can we write a letter
to get out of this?

We can't write a letter, Oly,
it's a disabled parking spot.

- This... this...
- Well, we're teen parents.

I mean, that's practically
a disability.

Is it really that much?

Five times more than I make
in a shift.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool.

I'm just gonna put Jacinda
in the back by myself.

And what if we get there
and we improvise...

We improvise, like, a stall, sí?

You have some foldable tables.
Don't you have some...

No, I'm busy too.
We're all busy, you know?

S... Hello? Hello?

ROSA AND MATIAS:

I left them in the car.

The food truck.

Hey, Ange, Dom.

- Oh, hey!
- Just go inside?

- Yeah.
- All right.

Did you... talk to Turtle?

Pretty much every day
I was there.

Oh, dear.

Yeah, same.

Hm.

I don't really ever think
he saw my good side.

- Oh, yeah? I know how he feels.
- Oh!

I could say the same thing
about you.

No, but...

What?

I do miss talking to you.

You're talking now.

You know, like a...

That's not what I meant.
I meant, like...

You know, like, in the mornings
when we'd wake up together

and just start chattering away.

- I miss... that.
- Oh, right!

Yeah, I remember you
pretending to be asleep

on more than one occasion.

I admit nothing.

I was thinking the other day

about how you used to
brush Oly's teeth

and then she insisted
on you teaching her

how to brush her own teeth.

It was the most adorably long
and painful lesson

I have ever seen.

And I teach teenagers.

You had the patience of a saint.

They're not bad.

Is it just me
or is it really rude

for Bowie to host
a drumming circle

in our actual living room?

It's not just you.

Is my family insane?

I actually don't think it's a
good idea for me to answer that.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes
you just walk into a home

and you can feel the history,
and that is exactly...

Isn't this the house
where someone died

and nobody found them
for, like, a week?

Yeah, I think so, eh?

...to make
the sort of family life

that you come from all over
the world to enjoy.

Where would you like to see
the bidding start?

I'm in your hands.

Perhaps we start
at maybe $3,400,000?

Maybe $3,425,000?

Sir, kick me away at 3.425.

3.425 holds the bid,
first call at 3.425.

- Second chance...
- 3.450.

3.450, just in the nick
of time, ma'am.

I thought you might,
at 3.450 now.

You're in pole position
to own the home.

Maybe we say 3.475 from here.

Excuse me.

346. Your call, sir.

346.

- A 10K rise...
- No worries.

We'll just walk on the road.
With a baby.

Where our generation's
gonna have to sleep

because of people like you.

3.460, that's the call there

with the gentleman's offer
at 3.460.

$20 million!

A new bid at the back there.
Thank you, ma'am for your contribution.

Hey, how about we just live
in a food truck

for the rest of our lives?

Yeah, until we have to sell it
to some w*nk*r

and downsize to a trolley!

I got a better idea -
I'll just drop out of school

and work in a mine for 24 hour days
just to save for a deposit.

Yeah, thank you very much,
everybody.

Just a bit
of local colour, folks. Remind you,

the bid's with the gentleman
there at 34 and 6.

346 going once, twice...

Sí, sí, sí.

Would you live with me
if I owned that house,

but only because I conned
a pensioner out of it?

Yep.

Wow.

No hesitation.

Shows good strategic skills.

True.

What if I robbed a bank?

You've been watching
too much 'Point Break'.

- Oh!
- Yeah.

She didn't find that very funny.

Do you leave the house
and think,

"Phone, wallet... Sharpie"?

Mm-hm.

This is something my mum
used to do all the time.

Your mum used to do this?

Mm-hm.

I didn't really get it
at the time,

but now...

If she thought
something was wrong,

she'd make it right.

What?

I'm sorry, I'm, like, 100%
listening to what you're saying.

It's just...

I can't stop imagining you
as this, like, vigilante

in a pink cape...

- Ah!
- ..righting graffiti wrongs.

Keeping an eye our for a 'V'
signal in the sky

from town hall.

Yeah, exactly.
Captain V strikes again!

Yeah.

I think my mum
would have liked that.

Please get whatever
identity crisis this is

under control
and let the rest of us

have some peace and quiet.

- Sorry, Ol.
- Sorry, Oly.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Yeah!

Doesn't like folk music, huh?

Oh!

Remember this one?

Is that...

You remember it.

Ready?

Do you think our kids would
have appreciated us more

if they knew we could have
been a family band?

- I think Bowie...
- Bowie probably would.

Yeah, Bowie probably would.

- Oh!
- Oh, is that...

Turtle has responded...

...well to the treatment so far.

And we can pick him up
in the morning.

Yes!

- Oh!
- Here's to Turtle.

To Turtle!

- Oh, that's so good.
- Mmm!

Start again.

How can you not be totally
pissed off about this?

They're out there pretending
to be good Samaritans

when... when... when they've just
spent thousands of dollars

on a bird that isn't even ours!

Would you have let
the thing die?

Yes, I would have let it die.

We have a baby.

And a $581 parking ticket.

Oh, my God.

Oly! That's $600! No!

Guess what we're having
for dinner.

Empanadas?

No empanadas, no, we don't have
any of those.

Petrol?

Abuelo!

Oi! Oi!

This is Dad. Ready?

"Arggh! Arggh!"

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!"

Ah, Santi!

Hi. Hola, Ita.

- Hi, Abuelo. Hi, Ita.
- Ooh!

- Hola!
- Hi!

Are you guys hungry?
We have empanadas.

Or... empanadas.

Or empanadas.

We're good, thank you.
Thank you, Rosa.

Hey, boys.

Come and help us build
a cubby house.

- Hi, Seb.
- Ooh.

What's been happening, man?

- What are you guys doing?
- Nothing much.

- Cubby house.
- Building a cubby house.

Here in Marrickville, we have
a great one-bedroom apartment

for first-home buyers.

Great entry-level property.

Family-friendly location.

No psychotic parents.

Well...

Oh.

Maybe J will become
a brain surgeon

and buy us a real house.

Well, we just gotta get J
through uni

and then we can retire...

...once she's paid
my parking fine.

- No pressure, J.
- Yeah, no pressure, J.