03x10 - The Battle of Tianshang (Part 1)

[bunniefuu]

[exclaiming, grunting]

Skadoosh.

[serene music plays]

What is the meaning of this?

What about it?

First, I hear you nearly destroyed
House Landreth.

Now you're after
that charming Poseph Dewbottom? [scoffs]

-[grunts]
-Oh, so sassy, Mister Crankypants!

I don't like
what this mission has done to you.

[grumbles]

Oh! I know!
You can help me plan my jubilee instead.

-But...
-You're doing it.

Now, where's that little smile?

[queen] Come on, let's see those teeth.

Yes, there they are!

Hello, teeth! Hooray! Off you go.

[groans]

Oi, the Queen is right mad
with the master of arms, she is.

She called off the mission.
He's none too happy about it either.

What are they saying now?

They've been pretty quiet.

[yells, snarls]

Bring me the traitor, Kelvin.

Colin, sir?

[snarls]

Did I say Colin?

No, sir. You said Kelvin.

So get me Kelvin.

And my bow.

Kelvin and a bow. Coming right up, sir.

I thought that the Queen said
we were calling off the mission, sir.

Not that we was eavesdropping.

The Queen is an old fool.

Luthera of Landreth has humiliated
the very institution of knighthood.

[knight 1] Sir! Your crossbow.

That's a crime
that can only be punished by death.

[atmospheric music plays]

[chuckles] Would it be weird to keep
one of these posters as a souvenir?

It would be nice
to have a picture of all of us.

Oh yeah. Definitely keep
a paper trail of all your crimes.

[gasping]

[suspenseful music plays]

It's safe now, Mother.

Let's keep moving.

Oh, Alfie, it was marvelous!

You should have seen Sir Drake's face
when Luthera swung in and rescued you.

Mother, keep your voice down.

Right, right. Stealth.

That was your sister.

[tense music plays]

No signs of the fugitives yet, sir.

Have you sifted through
every pile of garbage?

Scoured every sewer?

Well, not every one, sir.

Then keep looking! Go!

[grunting]

Release me at once! I'm a knight.

Where is Luthera?

[grunting]

-Quickly.
-Sir, I don't know. I swear it.

Very well.
Then you're stripped of your knighthood.

[gasping]

Sir, you can't be serious?
Being a knight is everything to me.

Throw him in the dungeon for treason.

Treason?

You've lost your mind.
I would never betray England. Stop!

[knight 1] Come on, then.
Quiet, you. Come on.

Just gotta get past this block
and we hit the catacombs.

Then Ancient City, then the forge,

then give the Tianshang Weapons
the ol' skadoosh.

[Colin groans]

Drake has gone mad.

[Colin] Listen to me. Listen.

I'm starving. You?

I could eat.

[groans]

They're holding him prisoner.

And working through a lunch break.

-We have to help him.
-[grunts] Do we, though?

When do we bring back Alfie?
Maybe we should do it now.

He can sort out the knights.
They loved him.

Blade, you gotta tell her the truth.

What did you say?

Po, I can't. You do it. Please?

-What?
-Luthera? What is it?

I'm not telling her.

[groans] We don't have time
for this nonsense.

-Luthera?
-Not now.

Blade!

[suspenseful music plays]

So, no judgement,
but, uh, this feels very not smart.

Colin let us go.
He's the reason we're here.

-We owe him.
-Huh?

Oh, hey, how's it going, Mister...
[exclaiming] Knight!

Let's just tackle this guy.

-[knight 2 grunts]
-[clattering]

-[snoring]
-Sweet dreams, Mister Knight.

They've taken him into a tavern.
I'm going in.

Lulu, um, Blade, dear.

You, you called me Blade.

Why can't we bring Alfie back now?
What are you not telling me?

Uh...

It's okay. We're here for you.

[clears throat]

[Blade] Uh...

Well, um, it's...

We cannot bring Alfie back
and Po will explain, okay? Bye.

-[chuckling] Well, next time, you pay.
-[cheerful music plays]

[chuckles nervously]

Yeah... Uh, you need anything?

You want some tea? Little biscuit, maybe?
Uh, just stand here in silence?

What does Lulu mean,
we can't bring Alfie back?

Oh boy. This conversation.
Okay. [chuckles]

No...

Did you just take my bishop?
Oh no, I can't lose. I've never lost.

[knight 1] Well, what's this?

Let's have a look.

No, no. That's private.

Poetry. How quaint.

"At pirate island, when we were shackled."

-[laughing]
-[knight 3] Tragic.

He wrote in the margin,
"What rhymes with shackled?"

[laughing]

-I would say "tackled."
-[grunting]

How's that for a rhyme?

Oh, uh, it'll do in a pinch. Oh, um...

I'll just get these keys. There we go.

So, what other poems
have you got about me?

What? It's not about... I would never...

"Through snowy mountains,
dry deserts, through sea storms,

perhaps the Wandering Blade
may wander into my arms?"

How do I know, frankly,
that you don't have poems about me?

I'm sure I can conjure one.

You cost me my knighthood.

-And I'm here to rescue you.
-[knight 4] They're here!

-Stop right there.
-Stop them!

[knight 5] Stop those two!

[grunts, snarls]

[grunting]

I studied baking, you know...

[groans] Fantastic. I'm a fugitive now.

Welcome to the club.

[grunting]

I could have opened a biscuit shop.

-Come with us to the catacombs.
-Catacombs? With the bodies?

We could use your help.

What good would my help do? I'm nothing.

Stripped of my honor...

I intend to retreat to the woods
and live in a hollowed log.

There's more to life than knighthood.

-Trust me.
-[stirring music plays]

[groaning]

[yelling]

[knight 6] Sounds good.
Little shop by the ocean.

You can help us save the world,
or you can go live in a log.

It's up to you.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[grunts, chuckles]

Checkmate.

Man, I'm good.

[sighs] How do I say this? Um...

Bringing Alfie back is complicated,

and dangerous.

And, uh...

-You should talk to Blade about this.
-[Akna] Agreed.

You two knew Alfie best.

Uh, didn't you know him too?

I really want
out of this conversation, please.

[sighs] Luthera
doesn't want to talk to me.

It's not that she doesn't want to...

She just ran away
to save what's-his-face to avoid you.

[groans]

-Hi Colin!
-Hey Colin!

Yes, Colin is here. Can we go now?

So, how did it go?

Did you tell her about Alfie?

Let me know when you
actually want to speak to me. [scoffs]

Wait!

[groaning] Wait,
Mrs. Blade's mom. Stealth!

[chuckles] Are you one of us now?

I am not one of you.

Oh, yeah. [chuckles] Me neither. Wink.

I suppose it didn't go well
with my mother.

Great! For me, I mean.

The way you just tossed Po
under that carriage and, whoom! [laughs]

Mrs. Blade, wait up!

Blade can explain.

Not now maybe, but later we can
all sit down for a tea and crumpets,

or biscuits,

or scones, or pudding, or cake,
or pie, if you have that here.

Uh, I shouldn't have put that on you.

It's just that we're on our way
to fixing our relationship,

and now this is going to ruin everything.

Blade, come on, she loves you.

I know, but after this,
she's not going to like me.

[rumbling]

-Stop right there, scum!
-[growls]

[dramatic music plays]

Okay. Guys? Guys.

You two are way outnumbered here.

Not for long. Drake's on his way.

-[gasps]
-You don't understand.

Sir Alfred, your former Master of w*r,
is in this sword.

He can explain.

-[laughing] He's in the sword?
-[laughing] She's a loon.

Absolute loon.

-[ominous music plays]
-[gasps]

Hey, don't laugh at her.

[Blade and knights grunt]

-[knight 1] Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
-[knight 3] My tail!

[sighs] All right then, enough of that.

[soft music plays]

[groaning]

[rumbling]

[grunts] Oughta keep them out for a while.

[atmospheric music plays]

What is this?

Uh, Colin, meet skulls.

[Po] Skulls, Colin.

Now is no time to joke.

I know, but it keeps me
from throwing up in fear.

Is that a well?

Uh-huh. It gets weirder too.

Dear, thank you
for kicking those butts in my defense.

[Akna] Aw.

She said butts.

But we do need to talk about Alfie.
What aren't you telling me?

[emotional music plays]

-Look, I know this is a family thing but...
-Po, you are family.

I can handle this.

[sighs] Mum, I'm sorry.

You should have heard it
from me first, but...

We can't bring Alfie back.

I don't understand, Luthera.

[Lucinda] He's your brother. My son.

We, we have to save him.
Don't you want him back?

Of course I want him back.
It's all I've ever wanted.

But Alfie
was trying to destroy the weapons

to make sure that the army inside

could never be unleashed.

[Blade sighs]

Getting him back could mean
undoing everything he fought for,

and I'm not willing to do that,
no matter how much I want to.

It's fine if you hate me for it.

Hate you? I could never hate you.

Sweetheart, look at me.

I forced you to be the strong one.

But you're in pain too,
and you have been for years.

Let me be strong for you this time.

-[knight 7] They went down here!
-[gasps]

-[knight 8] This way!
-Looks like they found us.

-Go, go, go!
-[yelling]

[groaning]

[gasps]

Where are we?

Wait till you see the rest.

[knight 9] Come on!

Here.

Get to the forge.

What about you?

You go finish this. We got you.

Dragon Knights!

Mum, let me carry the sword.

It's just...

Alfie, I... I don't want to let go.

I understand.

He... The sword
will be safer in my scabbard.

Yes, yes. Um, safer with you. Yes.

[emotional music plays]

Come on.

♪ Time to crack some bones
In the catacombs ♪

You're singing? Really?

Yeah. Also keeps me
from throwing up in fear.

Let's hit it!

[snarling]

[grunting]

[exclaims] It's Dra... [groans]

[grunting]

-Yeah!
-What is that you're doing, exactly?

Kung fu with some mustard.
You're gonna love it. [exclaims]

[Akna yells]

[panting]

Drake!

He squished me,

and got away!

[suspenseful music plays]

Blade.

Well, that's unique.

[gasps] Over there. The forge.

-[Lucinda] Upside down?
-[Blade] We are upside down, Mother.

Or maybe it is?
I don't know, but we need to get there.

Hm. Little family time, eh?

Not getting away this time.
Need to get closer.

Whoa! [grunting] Whoa.

How do you... Lean. Lean.

[snarls]

Wh... What is this place?

[dramatic music plays]

Blade! Behind you.

Po!

Drake! No. No!

[dramatic music plays]

[suspenseful music plays]

No! They're floating away.

Po! Get the weapons!

You heard her, team.

The rocks! We can use them.

Quick! Let's hitch a ride. Everyone jump.

Lean in and head towards the weapons.

[ominous music plays]

-[gasps]
-[grunting]

What is this sorcery?

[panting]

Mother, you can hide down here.

[exclaiming]

[sighs]

[dramatic music plays]

[grunts]

-[grunts]
-[stirring music plays]

[grunting]

[yelling]

[grunts]

Po's getting the weapons.
Let's get to the forge, quickly.

[stirring music plays]

[Drake] Uh-uh. Don't move an inch.

Put down the sword.

Back. Get back.

-[yells] Ursa Major!
-Whoa!

[triumphant music plays]

[grunts, growls]

-Colin, use the wheel.
-Right.

-Right, of course.
-[suspenseful music plays]

-[grunts]
-[clattering]

I'll handle it.

-[crossbow clanks]
-[screams]

That was a warning shot.

Now, put the weapons down.

[tense music plays]

This isn't necessary. Please!

You. Take care of them
and I'll reinstate your knighthood.

A promotion, even. It's yours.

[sighs] Sir Drake, look around.

We're in a magic cave
we didn't even know was under London.

Our London!

Those weapons need to be destroyed.

Pathetic. I'll do it myself.

[distorted] No!

-[soft music plays]
-[yelps]

No!

Colin!

-Colin! Colin. Colin!
-[gasping]

That's me.

Stand back,

all of you!

You should have listened to me!

[tense music plays]

You never were a true knight anyway.

Stay away from him.

Fine. You first.

-[exclaiming, grunting]
-[suspenseful music plays]

[Drake] Let me go!

[muffled straining]

[yells]

-Sir Drake! Who could have...
-[cackling]

Miss me?

[rhythmic music plays]