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01x03 - Happy Birthday, Tyler

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Betty". Aired: May 1, 2020 – July 16, 2021.*
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Follows "a tight-knit group of girl skaters and follows their everyday lives as they navigate the male-dominated world of skateboarding.

01x03 - Happy Birthday, Tyler

Post by bunniefuu »

You still mad about

the winter ball thing?

Guess so!

JANAY:

Are the comments disabled?

-Yes

-Why?

Yo, Honeybear! This is Ash!

Yo, good news, she is g*y!

It's okay, she's just shy.

- Why would you lie?

- Yes, I lied, okay? f*ck.

Some girl wants to destroy me,

and she's just using this

"Me Too" sh*t because

she knows it'll work.

Maybe I can do something.

What's her name?

Maybe you and I should sh**t

some clips one of these days.

Yeah.

HONEYBEAR: I have something

to confess. I liked the girl.

Wow! I f*ck' knew it, bro.

- Why are y'all not eating

any pancakes?

Come on.

- I've got a French fry.

- Dip a pancake in the ketchup.

You gotta eat the pancakes.

- You eat them.

- You eat the pancakes.

- I'm gonna get constipated.

Diners always got

the longest menus.

Have you noticed that?

- Dinosaurs?

Diners.

Dinosaurs got some

long-a*s menus, bro.

- Dinosaurs do have menus.

- They do?

Both: Where?

- On the dinosaur train.

- My God.

- What the f*ck

are you talking about?

She's stoned.

- What are you

- f*ck, bro!

It's Janay's birthday today,

and I forgot again.

- So what are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

I don't really have money

for anything fancy,

so I thought I'd just gift her

with my presence.

- No, no, no, no, no.

You should do something special.

- Um

maybe I can give her

one of your weed pens?

Could I have one?

- Yeah, sure.

Yo.

Guys, where'd I leave my pens?

- Did you take 'em

from the park when we left?

- sh*t!

Okay, I have to go back

and look for them.

- I'm gonna I'm gonna go

with her.

- No, it's okay.

- I got the tab.

- For real?

- Yeah, I got it.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

- Bye.

Bye.

- Hey, you!

You can't smoke here!

What's wrong with you?

- I'm I'm sorry.

I'm from Ohio.

I don't know the rules out here.

- Put it out!

- Okay, I'll go outside

and I'll put it out.

- It's hypnotism

When you look at me

with those eyes

Got me

I'm drunk on love

High on

And I'm through

I'm addicted

Waiting for your touch

Conflicted

Don't know

if it's too much

My body can't handle

this dosage

I'm overdosing

I'm scared of the fall

I can't seem

to love enough

Surely fall

With you,

I'd just be surviving

I'm high on you

Now I'm sober

And I'm through

- Like, got it shot up

or took hash or some sh*t.

- Yeah, for real.

- Smoking, you pass out

before you die.

That's why alcohol

All the other sh*t's

way more dangerous.

But this sh*t?

Look.

How much you think that is?

- Well

- How smacked are we right now?

Smacked.

So you don't need that many.

- Those are my pens.

- What?

- Look.

These could very well be

your pens.

We found them on the ground.

- Exactly, they're f*cking mine!

- Okay, hold up.

I wasn't done.

- Well, I know

they're not your pens.

Both: How do you know that?

- That makes no sense at all.

- Because you just

f*cking said that!

- We're smoking right now.

- If you knew

that they were your pens,

you wouldn't be having this

conversation with me right now.

- Yo, why the f*ck

are you trying

to, like, ruin my life

right now?

- You're right.

- You're upsetting me,

and it sucks.

- Listen, y'all.

It's not me

you have to worry about, okay?

- Yeah.

- I'm not worried about you.

- I don't wanna have

to call my plug

and tell him to come here

and f*ck y'all up, you heard?

- Yeah, he's no joke.

- Your plug?

- Yeah?

- Really?

- Just give me what you have

left and we're cool.

- Or what?

- Cool?

- What are you gonna do?

- Call my sh*t.

- Give me the f*cking pens.

- All right, all right,

all right.

I'm not trying to get

into any trouble.

I don't wanna get beat up

or anything.

- She's not gonna beat you up.

- So here you go.

- Come on.

- I'm so sorry.

- You owe me $50

for each of these f*cking pens.

Give me that.

- You should owe us 50 for each

we just gave back.

One more, one more.

- f*ck y'all!

- f*ck you!

What?

- Damn!

- Here.

Might as well.

f*cked anyways.

- Is your plug really scary?

- It's f*cking Farouk.

- What if, like, old people

get slower as they get older,

so instead of slow motion,

it's old motion?

So they'd be like

"sh*t,"

'cause it's in slow motion,

and it'd just be mad

Sh sh*t!

- What?

f*cking heart attack.

- What do I do?

- Go say hi.

- So I'll just be like,

"Hey, hello, what's good?"

- That's exactly

what you're supposed to do.

All right, just just

First of all,

be your charming Honeybear self.

Like, smile, but not too much.

You'll seem desperate.

And she's a regular person.

You're talking to a regular

human being.

Confidence.

You have it.

You got this.

- I don't know.

- She's coming.

- Okay.

- You got it.

- So you're coming with me,

right?

- No, I have to handle

this Farouk thing.

I'll I promise, I'll holl

I'll hit you up later.

- What?

- Check your phone.

I'll hit you up later.

She loves you.

She already loves you.

She does.

- Happy birthday to you

- Shut up!

- Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday!

- Bro, who's Tyler?

- Some nerd

with one less balloon.

Happy birthday, b*tch.

What are you trying to do today?

- I'm gonna get my nails done.

You wanna come?

- Yeah, let's go, Tyler.

- Kay, total is $7.70

- Dope

- I be ballin'

Like a motherfuckin' pro

- Like a motherfuckin' pro!

- I be ballin'

Like my n*gga Mo

- Bamba!

Bamba!

- Sheck Wes

Got so many flows

I do it all

- Yo, please keep my ring,

middle, and index fingers short.

Please.

Please.

- You're hilarious.

- What, I gotta keep

my working fingers short, bruh.

That eye roll

was kind of h*m*.

- Girl, I g*y too.

sh*t, my bad.

- That's valid, though.

- Hi, how are

Hey.

- Hey.

Listen, I

I didn't mean anything

f*cked up going

Like, when I went

into Winter Bowl the other day.

Like, I had plans

with the other guys,

Philip and them, and

But I can see

why you guys were upset,

and I feel bad,

so I'm sorry.

- There's no "you guys."

It's just me.

We're good.

We don't have beef.

Okay.

It's gonna be $38.33.

- Um

I actually don't want that.

I just want the water.

- Okay.

Wait just the water bottle?

- Yeah.

- All right, you can have it.

Just it's on me.

- Thanks.

- Could you bring it

a little closer?

- Damn,

you got Internet addiction

like a m*therf*cker, yo.

- I'm just checking something.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Hey, let's get bubble tea

after this.

- Yeah.

Hey, girl, can I buy you

a bubble tea?

- No.

- Yo, Janay, they got

that lychee jelly sh*t, bro,

and that pudding stuff.

My God.

I love bubble tea.

What flavor are you gonna get?

Yo, hello?

What flavor are you gonna get?

- Yo, actually,

I'm good on boba.

Let's just go to Knickerbocker.

- What are you talking about?

We just got here.

Yo, you've been acting

mad sketchy today, bro.

All you've been doing

is looking at your phone

like it has answers on it

or something.

- Look, this girl Yvette Torrio

has been talking sh*t,

and I'm trying to find her.

- What?

Some b*tch has been

talking sh*t about you?

- Yes.

- On your birthday?

Hell no, bro.

I'm not with that sh*t.

Let's go get that b*tch.

f*ck out of here.

But wait, hold on, let me just

get a bubble tea really fast.

I like mango.

- Yo, let's get it again.

- The f*ck do you mean

"again," bro?

I wanna skate a rail.

I'm so tired of this.

I feel like I'm wasting my time.

- Bro, not everything

has to be a banger.

How many times

do I have to tell you this?

Hey-yo, Camille-toe!

Let's get a clip.

Yes!

Whoa.

My G you're good at this.

You're good at, like

the camera.

Cameraman or something.

Whoo-hoo!

- Yo, I see your Full Cab!

That sh*t was fire!

- Can you do that?

- That sh*t was fire.

Ay!

Okay.

See, bro?

She's just getting clips, bro.

That'll do it.

- Whoo!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- Yeah.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Sick.

Yo!

- Yes.

- Yo, Charlie!

- Yo, that sh*t was sick, dude.

- Thanks.

- Wow, look at you!

In the video already.

- Sorry, dude.

Cute girls get more views.

Don't you know that?

- Hold up one sec.

Yo, Camille.

Come here for a sec.

Yo, you know

I'm not sh**ting you

because I think you're cute.

Yeah, no, I know that.

I was just joking.

I was just completely

kidding around.

- You know why I film you?

Because I think you're good.

If those idiots feel threatened

by that, then let them.

Let's get some more stuff.

- Hi, Honeybear.

- Hey.

- Honeybear's here.

- Yeah, I texted her.

If sh*t's going down,

we need backup.

- I thought it was her birthday.

- It is.

- Well, happy birthday.

I hope it's lit.

Yeah, thanks.

- Janay, how old are you again?

- You're supposed to know that.

I don't

- Is that Indigo?

- Hey, guys.

Have you seen Farouk?

- Why, are you guys smashing?

- Ew!

No, he's, like,

my f*cking uncle.

But I owe him a lot of money,

so if you see him, like,

you haven't seen me, okay?

- Okay, okay.

We're about to mob, yo.

We need to get out of here.

We need to go.

- That didn't explain anything.

I thought it was her birthday.

- It is.

- Aren't we going to celebrate?

- Top down

Rolling

Rolling with the top down

With my n*gg*s

and your b*tch

Rolling with the top down

See me rolling

with the top down

With my n*gg*s

and your b*tch

You ain't got no idea

Guess I gotta teach ya

Top down

through the streets, yeah

You think she ain't

on a leash, yeah

Baby, you know what it is

Know you a sleeper

But you know

they love a creeper

Don't be shy

with your features

Top down

Rolling with the top down

With my n*gg*s

and your b*tch

Rolling with the top down

See me rolling

with the top down

With my n*gg*s

and your b*tch

Rolling with the top down

Rolling

Rolling with the top down

Tell your man

he better pipe down

See me rolling

with the top down

- Yeah.

- Girl, you a fool

Lick it up like a dog

Ridin' in my coupe

- Top down, vroom.

- I'ma take you back

to the shore

Livin' how I do

Never let the scene

choose you

Never met a mans this cool

Couple screws loose

f*ck it

'cause it match my cool

f*ck it

'cause it match my cool

Trippin' like a fool

Never let the scene

choose you

Never met a mans this cool

Couple screws loose

f*ck it

'cause it match my cool

f*ck it

'cause it match my cool

Top down

- Yeah.

- What?

What?

- Nothing, I'm just looking

at your pants.

I like 'em.

I like, like, the

I like the whole style.

It's good.

Well, thank you.

I you know, I'm really into,

like, that tuxedo look, and

- Yeah.

- You know.

Okay, do you wanna know

who my style icon is?

- Who?

- But you can't laugh.

You can't laugh.

Say you're not gonna

- I won't I won't

- All right,

it's Charlie Chaplin.

- Okay.

- You know his, like,

signature thing, right?

- Like, what makes

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin?

You tell me.

You mean his walk?

He does, like, that

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I know yeah,

it's cool, right?

- Go ahead, do it.

- No, I'm not gonna do the walk.

- He's your style icon.

You have to do the walk.

- Yeah, but that doesn't mean

I know how to do the walk.

- Dude, it's not that hard.

You've seen, like,

a million of his movies, right?

So do the f

- No.

- It's with the heels and the

- But it's weird.

- Here, it's like this.

No my

I don't know you.

- And he'd, like,

walk into a room

- No, stop!

- And he'd, like,

say hi to everybody.

- No, no!

- No one's watching.

- When did that happen

in the park anyways?

- Yo, you did a good job today,

though.

You skated all day

and you kept up.

- Yo, Indigo!

Get over here.

- Yo, what you doing, bro?

What you gonna do?

- I gotta talk to you.

- You gonna go m*rder her

and have her end up

in the East River?

- What the hell, man?

You think I'm gonna m*rder her?

- Yeah.

- Chill out, buddy.

Come on, take a hike.

I wanna talk to her.

- Okay, whatever, whatever.

- What's up?

- Of course he didn't do it!

- How do you know that?

- I talked to him.

I've literally known him

for, like, forever,

and I'm telling you

there's no way.

Like, I dated him,

for Christ's sakes.

Wouldn't you think

that I'd know?

- Look, look, I'ma smash two,

I'ma trout mouth,

I'ma take another one,

and I'ma give one to my girl.

- You didn't come here

with no girl.

- I didn't come with a girl,

but she leaving with me.

- Aw!

- sh*t!

- Somebody leaving with me, man.

Someone.

- You're not gonna touch.

You're just looking, son.

- Anyways, this girl

seems exactly like the type

to lie on a m*therf*cker's d*ck

just for attention.

She's that type.

- What type is that?

- Like, straight thot.

Like, has her t*tties

all on Instagram

and sh*t like that sh*t no!

- I want another margarita,

so you buying it.

- No, then you buying it.

- You buying it!

- You buying it.

- Do they take EBT?

- Apparently they do.

- All right, so let's go.

- Yeah, let's go.

Let's go.

- Yours are more

of a political statement,

you know?

Yours are, like, artistic,

you know?

You have, like,

stickers and colors, and

hers are just too big to be out.

Look, it doesn't matter anyways.

I'm just trying to talk to her.

That's it.

- Ooh.

I feel Pisces energy.

- No, that's, like,

the opposite.

- My ex was a Pisces.

- Okay.

- The worst.

- It was bad?

- Bad.

- Keep guessing.

- No, just been trying to, like,

cut down on the weed

a little bit.

Like I don't know,

I've just been, like,

incorporating other herbs.

I got, um

- Listen, listen, I told you,

when I'm with the ladies,

you gotta let me just be me.

- Bro, but what about me?

- I'm not a team player, man.

I'm sorry to tell you that.

- Damn, you should

win your shot solo.

That's foul.

A'ight.

Nah, I see you, I see you.

- It's a herb,

but it makes you dream,

like, very vividly.

Like, you feel present

in your own dreams.

Like, you can kinda

You know, like, lucid dreaming?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

It's like you can just

lucid dream.

Like, anything you want.

- Dude, just chill out.

Relax.

- I'ma tell Luis about this,

bro.

I'ma tell Luis about this.

- I don't even know Luis.

We out, baby, come on.

- Yes, you do. What you

- Maybe we can just crush up

some oregano

and, like, put it in the oil

and then just inject it

back into the cartridges,

like, make it stretch

over a few pens

- No, that's not gonna work.

Oregano's got, like,

a seriously distinct flavor.

You think people

are trying to smoke pizza?

Look, I know you're my homey,

and I know you think

I run this ship,

but I don't.

I get my sh*t from Karl.

We gotta worry about Karl.

- Who the f*ck is Karl?

- You don't know who Karl is?

f*cking Karl?

Karl.

Karl, hello?

- Stop saying "Karl"!

Maybe we can just, like,

talk to him or something.

- There's no talking to Karl.

You know that story

about the guy

who owed the drug dealer money

but instead of k*lling him,

he Super-Soaked him

with a thousand hits of acid?

That's Karl, man.

- Karl did that much acid?

- No, Karl was the one

with the Super Soaker.

The other guy went insane.

The first couple days

were awesome,

but after that?

Karl does twisted sh*t

like that, man.

He's like the f*cking

booger man.

- Bogeyman?

- Bogey?

That doesn't sound right.

- Shut the f*ck up.

- Where the f*ck are you going?

- The f*ck you think I'm going?

To get your money.

- Yo, the door!

- I saw this car the other day,

and it looked like you.

What?

- Yeah, have you ever seen a car

and it looked like a person?

Or, like I don't know.

Yeah, like, so the lights

are the eyes

and the mouth is the hood

or the thing bel the engi

The thing on the bottom.

Like, it's, like

It looked like you.

- What kind of car was it?

- It was a Nissan Cube.

What?

What?

- You guys got the same eyes,

I'm telling you.

- Come on.

- And the jawline.

- My God.

- That's so weird.

Yo, I'm actually

just gonna go up

and shower really quick.

- Okay.

- Meet me at the Dome

in, like, an hour?

- No, I don't have an ID.

- Whatever, it's the Dome.

It doesn't matter.

I'll see you there.

- All right, see you.

- Bye, Camille.

- I'm not giving you $3,000.

You already get an allowance.

- Mom, I need it.

- I earned it.

- I'm serious.

I'm desperate.

- Okay, so you were desperate

when you needed Prada boots,

you were desperate when you

needed Burning Man tickets,

and now you're desperate again.

I'm kind of

- It's not for

any of those things.

- Well, what's it for

this time, honey?

- It's a drug debt.

Okay, that is a new one.

No, honey, no.

No.

We have talked and talked

and talked and talked

about this.

Your allowance is 350 a week,

no more,

so if you have a drug debt,

then you need to get a job.

- But, Mom!

- I am not gonna be late

for dinner with Faizon, so

there's curry in the fridge.

f*cking curry.

Fun.

Curry.

I love curry.

- And that is

what we are gonna go with.

- Faizon's not even cute.

Why don't you go talk to her?

Go ask Camille.

- Camille, pretend

you're my friend and

Hey, Honeybear.

- Pretend you're my friend

and introduce yourself.

- Yeah, I'm not good

at this kind of

- Introduce yourself.

- Hi, I'm Camille.

- I'm Ash.

- Nice to meet you.

This is my friend Honeybear.

- Hey.

- She's

like, she's really cool

and, um

I I gotta go to the bathroom.

- Um, yeah, I'm Ash.

I think I saw you earlier.

- No.

- I'm pretty sure

Well, you looked like

you were gonna say hey,

but then you didn't,

then you kind of

just skated by me.

- No, that wasn't me.

- I'm pretty

I'm pretty sure it was.

Okay.

What about the other day

when that girl yelled my name

and my sexual orientation

at you?

- Yeah, that was me.

That was you, right?

- Yeah.

- I recognized you.

- Bathroom's this way.

Um, are you gonna chill here

for a while?

- Yeah.

- Do you wanna, like,

get a drink or something?

- Yeah, let's

Let's go do that.

- Okay.

- Yo.

Me and you need to talk.

- Who the f*ck are you?

- Donald's friend?

- Who the f*ck is Donald?

Don't act like you don't

know what I'm talking about,

like you didn't say

he was creeping on you

at the party last week.

- b*tch, I was in

f*cking Barbados last week.

- What are you talking about?

- Do you think I'm Yvette?

That's my f*cking twin, b*tch.

- Twin what?

- Yvette!

- This b*tch who freaked on you?

- f*ck no.

- She's trying to pop

the f*ck off right now.

- Yo, what the f*ck

are you doing here?

You following me?

- No.

You need to watch your mouth.

- Your boy needs to watch

his f*cking hands, okay?

- What you need to watch

are your hands,

and you need to stop

talking sh*t.

No, I'm not.

- What the f*ck is your problem?

- Weren't you in Barbados?

Go back to Barbados, b*tch!

- Yes, and you know what?

You can go to Barbados.

- Dude, we listen,

you're goofy as f*ck.

You need to go back

- b*tch, get the f*ck out

of my face.

Both: Get your hands

- Out of her face!

- What, are you guys in sync

and sh*t?

No one's talking to you.

This has nothing to do with you.

- Don't talk to my

f*cking sister like that.

- All right,

I'm talking to you, then.

- sh*t.

- I gotta go.

- Hold on.

Can I see your board?

One sec.

- My girl's, like

I need to back her up.

I need to back up my girl Janay.

- Just one second.

No board slides

till you call me.

- All right.

Bye.

- Bye.

- Are you doing this

for attention?

You look crazy.

- You look f*cking crazy.

- Listen, you're the one

who's f*cking crazy.

- Go the f*ck home.

- Look, I'm just trying

to figure out a way

to squash this sh*t, okay?

- This isn't squashing sh*t.

- Y'all ain't gonna

sh**t the hands?

- No one's f*cking

- Boring!

- Yo, back the f*ck up.

What you doing?

- Chill out!

- What?

- Grab her tit.

- What?

- Yo, sh*t.

- What the f*ck you just say?

- Calm the f*ck down,

little girl.

- Get the f*ck up off me!

All:!

- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Get out of here!

- We gotta go!

Let's go!

- I can't.

You know what happens

when we run from the cops.

- Hey, hey!

- They didn't do anything!

- Freeze.

- Don't worry.

They didn't do anything.

- Up against the wall.

- Hey!

- Hands behind your back.

- Damn.

- This is the worst birthday

ever.

It's your birthday?

No way.

Happy birthday.

- Birthday

Birthday

- Somebody in here,

it's your birthday

- It's your birthday

- Somebody in here,

it's your birthday

- It's your birthday

- Somebody in here,

it's your birthday

- It's your birthday

- Everybody move

like it's your birthday

- Come on!

- Birthday?

Mama,

dance on your birthday

Mama, go on, break it down

on your birthday

Birthday?

- Birthday

- Birthday?

- Birthday

- Birthday?

- Birthday

- Birthday?

- Birthday

- Celebrate, girl,

nobody can compare with ya

Birthday in January

so she a Aquarius

They say the p*ssy got miles

like Darius

But she look better

than most chicks in her area

Shawty don't want a lame,

she only like Gs

Only f*cking with the th*gs

in the white Ts

Birthday February,

sign Pisces

Into nouveau

with Long Island iced teas

Then right after January

and February

Was a girl who was a Aries

who always be smoking berry

Hairstyle short,

but her stuff's so hairy

a*s so fat,

earrings canary

Now break it down

with your friends

You a Taurus

I heard you just flipped

to a Benz from a Taurus

Improved by KID

Enjoy the movie(s) / show(s)

What do you wanna say

to the camera?

I'm on this date right now, and,

I'm trying not to screw it up.

CAMILLE: Janay, why'd you have

to start sh*t with that girl?

I didn't start sh*t.

Can you shut up please?

I'm trying to sleep.

- Hey Farouk.

- FAROUK: My money's past due.

- It's only been like a day.

- What do you think this is,

a 30-year fixed mortgage?

JANAY: Look, I just need to talk

to your sister.

We've seen how you talk.

- What else was I supposed to do?

- Not get us arrested,

and then bounce.

Camille, I'm so sorry.

You got 48 hours.

I can't protect you anymore.