01x05 - Sunôdômu no Naka no Taifû

[bunniefuu]

Typhoon #2 is expected to make landfall

in the Kanto region this afternoon,

where it will remain for the next month

with its strength undiminished.

We ask that our listeners be careful

when they venture outdoors.

Santa Claus goes into cardiopulmonary

arrest if he falls in love with a child?

Now that's a disturbing thought. Does he

die the instant he realizes he's in love?

Or when they kiss?

Or when they do it?

Now who's being disturbing?

Anyway, that's just the rumor

going around the office.

I learned from fighting him

that he's basically unkillable.

If he can only die if a specific set of

conditions are met, that'd explain a lot.

Yagiuda, are you sure

you don't have more intel on him?

If we don't capture Santa next time,

we're gonna be fired for sure!

Finding a new job in Japan these days

is next to impossible.

Ask somebody who's better at this job.

I'm the only one who knows

about Santa's alter ego.

Like I'm gonna let juicy intel

like that go for free!

CUP RAMEN BAR

Sounds like this typhoon

is gonna be a big one.

Okay, kid.

Just you wait.

I went and became an adult

We're two sides of the same coin,

with you still a kid

I went and blurted out the words

I'll never be able to take them back

There's nothing righteous

about unrequited feelings,

so let things stay as is

In the gaps between the seasons

that whiz by,

I was crying,

and I bet I always will

You don't believe, do you?

In despair? Being moved?

Unable to take it anymore, the night

that had turned white now turns black

Nothing's going to change

ever again? I just don't know!

I've been clinging to this moment

no matter what,

and I pray that today

my wish will come true

DON'T STOP

I won't forget the adultish heart

I stole from you ever again

Because neither the me that grew up

nor you will ever change

It's okay

Because I still haven't forgotten

the adultish heart I stole

Because even though I've changed,

I'm still me

Regrets, hopes and prayers,

Children, me,

I don't understand any of it

You can believe in wishes coming true,

but who I am will never end

Yes!

The sight of boobs

is doing nothing for me!

EPISODE 5:

A TYPHOON IN A SNOW GLOBE

Dozono!

Sorry, he must be loopy

from lack of sleep!

Aren't I amazing, Amaya?

An eyeful of those voluptuous curves

and not even a tingle!

I'm gonna lose weight!

I'm gonna lose weight!

What was that all about?

What happened?

Amaya

I figured it out.

Santa isn't allowed to have a sex drive!

Let me guess, did something

happen with Fuyumura?

No!

But it'll be bad news if it ever does.

Whenever I feel

like I'm falling for Fuyumura,

I get this overwhelming sense

of self-loathing.

My Santa senses are growing day by day.

And Fuyumura the more I get to know

her, the more endearing she becomes.

Endearing? Are we talking

about the same Fuyumura?

Don't tell me you already

No, absolutely not!

For the time being,

I see her as a child I want to protect!

I'll never fall in love or get married!

Ah But if that's the case, Sanda,

what will you say to you-know-who?

Huh? You-know-who?

Oh, crap!

I forgot all about her.

My fiancée.

Niko Kazao.

Hey.

Gosh, where did my broom go?

I can't do any cleaning without it.

I guess I have to bail

on cleaning duty today!

This is why I never want to talk to her!

Niko! There's something

I need to talk to you about today!

Talk to me?

I forget, do we have any shared interests

that we might talk about, Kazzy?

Of course we don't.

I mean,

our relationship only extends to us being

state-mandated marriage partners.

MARRIAGE NOTICE

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT MARRIAGE

Getting married and having kids

have been made mandatory in the hopes

of fighting the declining birth rate.

In other words, romantic interest

between the two of us

is nonexistent.

Oh, right! There is something

we have in common to talk about!

Here's the 500 yen

I borrowed from you earlier!

Gum? Gross!

You could sell it for 10 times that much!

You should be thanking me!

I'm done for today! I'm gonna drop

a massive deuce and head back to the dorm!

Hey, wait!

It's not like either one of us has

ever had any interest in this marriage

so let's make a clean break

and be done with it!

The thing is

I can't marry you!

Huh? What was that?

-Huh?

-The typhoon's too loud!

I'm never gonna be able to relax

and take a dump with all this racket!

The way the wind is howling,

the whole building is gonna be torn apart.

They probably won't let us

leave the building for the time being.

Why can't we leave?

-Huh?

-Why?

Well, because it's dangerous, that's why.

I'm secretly Santa,

and everybody here is a kid.

I'm not allowed to fall in love,

much less get married.

What're you talking about?

We're both 14.

If we don't flirt with danger a little

when we're young,

we'll never grow up

to be well-adjusted adults.

To make it worse, our whole lives

are totally sheltered and micromanaged.

If we don't take the initiative while we

can to run wild and get people mad at us,

I'd regret it forever.

I think this'll open.

Niko! Cut it out!

Niko! Come back inside!

Kazzy!

Get your butt out here!

It's like being inside a washing machine!

Nobody calls me "Kazzy" but Niko.

I know it's just because

engaged couples are encouraged

to call each other by their first names.

Kazzy!

Over here, over here!

My feet moved of their own accord.

Like I was being enticed forward

by this roar that felt loud enough

to tear Santa out of me.

Niko!

We're both 14. If we don't flirt

with danger a little when we're young,

we'll never grow up

to be well-adjusted adults.

Who's she kidding?

I can never go back

to being a normal 14-year-old!

Niko

I can't get married to you!

Here I am!

Hubby!

O-Okay! That's our cue!

This is so friggin' fun!

Let's go back to the building!

Staying indoors on a day with a typhoon

is something only a dumbass would do!

Rumor in school has it that this typhoon

is the handiwork of God-pa.

I don't believe it, though.

I don't believe

in any fantastical creatures!

Because my reality

is way better than any fantasy!

Huh? Kazzy

You just made a face that said,

"This is my ideal wife."

Huh?

I-I did no

I didn't expect you

to actually follow me out into a typhoon.

I love spending time

with someone I can have fun with!

I've changed my mind about you!

The typhoon

I think you and I are gonna make

a friggin' awesome couple.

is driving Santa bonkers.

I couldn't say it.

I'm Santa.

I can't fall in love with a child.

Still

what's the harm?

Of me having moments

when I can be a snotty-nosed kid again?

Just when I resigned myself

to never having a normal youth

who wouldn't

be happy about little stuff like this?

She threw another picture of a turd

at my head!

I'm gonna get her back 100 times over!

I'd like to introduce you all

to a new teacher.

Come on up, Teacher. The room is yours.

I'm Saburo Yagiuda.

Huh?

I'm joining the faculty as the academy's

P.E. teacher starting today.

Nice to meet you all.

I-It's him!

Now, given that a shady character has

been lurking around this class recently,

I think I ought to start by focusing

on teaching you self-defense.

I assumed he'd come back

for another go at me

but not strolling

right into the classroom!

You're Sanda,

one of the class representatives, right?

There are a few things I'd like to run by

you, so can you stick around after school?

S-Sure.

But

how?

This is my heart, Yagiuda.

I'm currently using an artificial one

to stay alive and to maintain my youth.

The organ that I'd removed on my

90th birthday is kept preserved in here.

If you fail to capture Santa again,

I will have this heart implanted into you.

He is still somewhere

on school grounds, right?

Yes. It's safe to assume so.

Start working undercover in the school.

And

before the typhoon leaves,

see to it that you capture him.

A little under a month, then.

Not to worry!

If you fail, you'll simply

be fast-forwarded to 90 years of age.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you

why I asked you here.

Yes, I can guess.

So, tell me, Santa.

How does it feel to suddenly become old?

W-Well

This is just me

but compared to when I'm

in my younger body, I've learned

how to put up a bit of a fight!

I'm gonna put up as big a fight as I can.

Putting up a fight, huh?

Then I guess

I'm fighting for my life!

It's like punching mochi!

Hey! Why'd you turn back into a kid?

Dammit, I decked a kid!

That has to be the worst sensation

in the world!

Says the guy

who casually shot me with a g*n!

I don't wanna punch a kid!

Hang on

Why?

This has never happened to me before!

I can't turn into Santa

even with a red jacket on?

Are you kidding me?

If I can't prove that this kid is Santa

Sorry about the cheek.

there's no point in fighting him!

No, that's okay.

Wait, does this mean

my Santa powers are fading?

SQUID CHIPS

Kazao, you've got a visitor.

Hey, Fuyu. What's up?

I want you to keep your hands

off of my Sanda from now on.

PLENTY

So?

"Plenty"?

Fuyu

How long have you been in love with Kazzy?

It's "Sanda."

"I never said the first thing

about having feelings for him."

"A cold fish like me

could never fall for a guy like him."

That's what you sound like!

He's never gonna return your interest,

not like that!

"I want you to keep your hands

off of my Sanda from now on."

What made me say something like that?

Am I even more dependent on Sanda

than I thought?

Still, Kazzy and I are basically

free agents until we get married.

Feel free to make a move on him

if you wish.

Because

the more people there are

who are jealous of us,

the more passionate

our relationship will be!

RUMBLE RUMBLE

Huh? Why are you standing up?

I'm intimidating you.

Oh, most people are intimidated

by your height when you do that?

A word of advice, I don't recommend using

that tactic in the context of romance.

Straight talk! You can land

your average 14-year-old boy-child

just by letting him

see your boobs or touch 'em!

Then again, I'm his fiancée,

so take my advice with a grain of salt.

I-I keep telling you,

that's not what I'm trying to say!

There's something that Sanda and I

have to see through together!

By which you mean

finding out where Ono went?

You did hold that class meeting, remember?

I just wanted that stupid thing to end

so we could leave.

Sorry for pulling that lie out of my a*s.

What?

It was you who lied?

So much for the lead we thought we found!

You sure did love Ono!

You're the type

that swings both ways, Fuyu?

Who floats your boat more, Kazzy or Ono?

It's a moot question

with a body like this.

When I look at it in the mirror

I can't figure out who I am.

Kazao is ready to grow

into her feminine body.

And her voice is high.

I'm flat-chested, lean and lanky

182 centimeters tall.

My voice is low.

My whole life, I've always been unsure

about whether I'm a boy or a girl,

a child or an adult.

It was only when I was with Ono

that I could simply be Shiori Fuyumura.

I miss Ono!

I have to find her soon.

Why is it that I suddenly

can't turn into Santa?

You may be Santa, but your mind and body

are going through puberty.

Going through sudden changes

is par for the course.

Why do you think

you were able to turn into Santa before?

Well, I'm Santa's descendant, for one

and because I got roped into all this

by Fuyumura and Amaya

because they both want

something from me as Santa Claus.

And the harder I try,

the more I learn that I don't have

what it takes to be Santa.

Man, seeing him beating himself up like

this, he's just an ordinary kid, isn't he?

I want to help him out in spite of myself.

My first day working undercover,

and I'm already acting like a teacher.

The power that kids have

is some scary stuff!

CHILDREN ARE TREASURES

Ono! Am I dreaming?

Fuyumura! Thank goodness!

Ono! I'm never letting you go!

How are you here? What happened?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you!

I knew that you always do

your laundry alone at this hour,

so I thought I might find you here!

Hmm? What is it?

Nothing.

Huh? Ono?

You seem different somehow.

I do?

Did something happen? You seem

Fuyumura

You haven't changed one bit.

It's as if time has stood still

around just you.

You're not an adult, you're not a child.

Like you've been set free

from time and space.

I've wanted that endlessly free body

of yours for so long.

Why didn't you kiss me that day?

I wanted your body and soul so badly.

I never wanted to become an adult.

So, let's make time stand still, okay?

If the alternative is to become an adult

in this country

then I'd rather the two of us

stop time together here, Fuyumura.

L-Let's not do anything rash, Ono.

Everything will be okay.

You can talk to me.

"Let's not do anything rash"?

What's that?

What's that grown-up line coming from you?

When did you turn into that kind of adult?

You were such a perfect child

not long ago!

Don't act so mature!

Be the nonconformist you were that day!

That's what I

loved about you!

You slept soundly every night as if

you weren't afraid of what might happen!

To be honest, Fuyumura

before you, I had never seen

a child asleep before.

She's asleep again.

Good morning.

Oh, crap. I guess I fell asleep

right after classes ended yesterday.

G-Good morning.

Look, Fuyumura, a child

shouldn't just sleep carelessly like that!

I was a nervous wreck watching you!

I can't help it, I love sleeping.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

Kids in this day and age

don't sleep much, and they shouldn't.

As a result of vaccinations

from infancy

VACCINES

ADVANCED DIE

and an advanced diet

SLEEP

we no longer require sleep.

Sleep is a dreadful, vile practice

that speeds up a child's physical

and mental development.

That's why we're taught

to simply lie awake in bed all night.

If you fall asleep, it's all over!

The onset of puberty

can happen in a single night!

Your body will be flooded

with growth hormones!

Doesn't that frighten you?

I've been a giant ever since I was a kid.

I don't think that puber-whatever

is gonna come for me.

Plus, being so big has lots of perks.

I can pat you on the head

from way up here.

I couldn't tell her.

That the real reason I didn't want her to

sleep is because I missed her every night.

I wanted to spend the whole night talking.

When you fall asleep, I'm all alone.

The Daikoku Welfare Academy school uniform

is slacks for both boys and girls.

Apparently, it's to ensure that

the students don't have any

untoward feelings toward the opposite sex.

But that doesn't matter.

The gender I was crazy about

was the one that's unique to Fuyumura.

You sure do like to sleep.

I bet the reason your hair grows so fast

is because you sleep every night.

I wish you'd stay the same forever.

I don't want you to leave me behind.

What's it like to fall asleep?

I love you.

Huh?

Oh gosh, you were awake?

What am I even saying?

Fuyumura

Ono I love you, too.

I've loved you

for

a long, long time!

F-Fuyumura

Wait

Fuyumura

Touch me

Touch me more!

Ono, here?

Here makes you feel good?

Yes

I love it there.

Fuyumura

Ono

Let me get a better look at your face.

This is eternal love, Fuyumura!

Yes

Ono.

We'll be together forever!

Never let me go, okay?

Fuyumura!

When I woke up the next morning,

my body had undergone puberty.

Not only had I fallen fast asleep

but I also had an erotic dream

about my friend.

It's as if

my body has taken on the weight

of all the sins I've committed.

A student undergoing puberty in my school

before graduating is unthinkable.

Such a student

will be dealt with most harshly,

so I advise you to not sleep

under any circumstances, my good students.

I have to run!

Isn't it hilarious?

I never imagined

that adults could be so pathetic.

Ono's becoming beautiful.

I have to tell her what he told me.

Getting old isn't all scary stuff

Ono

It's okay to be an adult!

There's nothing wrong with us growing up!

When I'm feeling antsy,

full of muddled emotions,

I sometimes just stand there,

or sometimes I shout

at the top of my lungs

When I'm feeling indecisive,

full of emotions that ebb and flow,

the diary I grumble and complain to

is tucked away in a closed drawer

How's it gonna turn out?

Not knowing, I just cry

I bet that's how it is, right?

Out of desperation, a lie

Really, how's it gonna turn out?

I wish I could stay in my dreams

I wish I could stay,

could stay, could stay

When I'm feeling antsy,

full of muddled emotions,

I sometimes just stand there,

or sometimes I shout

at the top of my lungs

It's ironic that it's only once

you've grown up

that you realize

you can't stay a kid forever

There are even times

that I get depressed

thinking about these days

I find myself in,

but once they've passed me by,

will I look back and miss them?

How's it gonna turn out every day

I'm shouting every day