01x06 - Jinzô Ningen vs. Santa Kurôsu

[bunniefuu]

I went and became an adult

We're two sides of the same coin,

with you still a kid

I went and blurted out the words

I'll never be able to take them back

There's nothing righteous

about unrequited feelings,

so let things stay as is

In the gaps between the seasons

that whiz by,

I was crying,

and I bet I always will

You don't believe, do you?

In despair? Being moved?

Unable to take it anymore, the night

that had turned white now turns black

Nothing's going to change

ever again? I just don't know!

I've been clinging to this moment

no matter what,

and I pray that today

my wish will come true

DON'T STOP

I won't forget the adultish heart

I stole from you ever again

Because neither the me that grew up

nor you will ever change

It's okay

Because I still haven't forgotten

the adultish heart I stole

Because even though I've changed,

I'm still me

Regrets, hopes and prayers,

Children, me,

I don't understand any of it

You can believe in wishes coming true,

but who I am will never end

I have located an adult intruder.

I shall punish her personally.

EPISODE 6:

CYBORG VS. SANTA CLAUS

I won't let you lay a finger on Ono,

Headmaster Oshibu.

She's just matured

into an adult body, that's all!

She's not an intruder, she's a student!

Is there any particular reason why

you hate the thought of students maturing?

Fuyumura

That! That right there!

Those are tears.

Of all the human body's many excretions,

tears are the most disgusting.

Why do you think humans are so prone

to crying when they become an adult?

It is because their ability

to empathize grows

as they accrue more and more

sad or painful experiences.

TRAUMA-FREE CURRICULUM

In short, because they now harbor

some manner of emotional trauma.

Adults with emotional trauma

become so weak that they can't move on.

Daikoku Welfare Academy

has no need of such students.

I overheard your chat.

You appear to have suffered a dreadful

trauma in a single night, Ichie Ono.

It is no surprise that you found yourself

in such a state as a result.

You flushed your precious youth

down the drain.

They're in trouble! I have to help!

Take it easy!

If you can't turn into Santa,

how are you supposed to help them?

It's the truth, isn't it?

You have to use your head.

Sanda, right now, you aren't Santa Claus.

You're not a big, strong, adult

that we can count on.

But Amaya, I didn't start out as an adult

that you can count on in that form.

I learned that becoming a proper adult

is incredibly hard.

Please stand aside, Fuyumura!

The female next to you

is an ill*gal trespasser!

I must punish her!

That's why I'm gonna save her as myself!

You won't stand for trespassers?

Then you'd better start by punishing me!

Because I'm Santa Claus!

Wha

I go way beyond puberty.

I'm that white-haired old man!

Admittedly, I haven't gotten the hang

of my body just yet

No way! Huh? What the heck?

What's going on?

Eyeballs?

Oh! For crying out loud!

My artificial eyes popped out!

Full-body plastic surgery

isn't all sunshine and roses.

I must warn you,

it has no impact on my reflexes,

which I have honed over many years.

Try to escape again,

and I will skewer you with my cane.

Honestly!

Just one of these costs 100 million yen!

How can they pop out so easily?

Without his eyes,

he doesn't know that it's Sanda.

I have to hide him

before he puts those back in!

All right, they're reinstalled,

safe and sound.

I do beg your pardon,

my good so-called Santa Claus.

Now, come out and show your face.

Hiding under a mountain of laundry?

Have you lost your nerve

after such a bold entrance?

What are you doing, Amaya?

I was trying to fight Oshibu

fair and square!

You may be Santa, but your mind and body

are going through puberty.

He's right.

I'm a kid.

I'm a snotty-nosed kid that gets weaker

in both body and spirit

the more that people worry about me.

I don't want to stay like this!

I want to

grow up!

Yes! I want to become an adult!

I don't wanna stay a kid!

I

am gonna be an adult!

There he is at last.

The Santa Claus who means business.

Santa!

These massive hands!

These clothes that are so easy to move in!

My beloved presbyopic eyes!

I'm Santa Claus again!

You do seem to be rather different

from the Santa Clauses of the past.

Would you care

to have a little sparring match?

If I win, I hand you

over to the St. Nick Pursuit Unit.

If you win, I will reinstate Ichie Ono

as a student here.

What do you say?

Fight right here?

Me against the headmaster?

N-No, I'd rather not.

Sorry for hitting you in your soft spot

earlier I mean, I apologize!

There's no need for two men

of advanced years to fight each other.

I mean, in your case, aren't you

a 92-year-old who has to use a cane?

Shouldn't you be sitting down?

I'd still prefer to talk this out.

"Shouldn't you be sitting down?"

What is this man talking about?

Is he talking about me?

Does he know and he is deliberately

spewing this garbage?

DAIKOKU WELFARE ACADEMY

AGE: 92

Does he know what I have endured

to fight the ravages of aging?

You're probably in so much pain

that you can't lift a finger, Mr. Oshibu.

HIFUMI OSHIBU

BLOOD TYPE: A / AGE: 92

It's no wonder,

this makes your 72nd plastic surgery.

The only parts left

that you were born with are your hands.

When those bandages come off in a month,

you should appear younger than ever.

As for your scars, you might encounter

something that causes them to throb.

So, do be careful.

Now, let's give you something

for the pain Huh?

M-Mr. Oshibu?

Don't! You mustn't move

during your recovery period!

Someone stop him!

I don't need painkillers.

Pain goes hand in hand

with defying the natural order.

This pain is teaching me

just how lazy it is to simply give oneself

over to the ravages of time!

I-It's no use!

We're not even slowing him down!

Mr. Oshibu, you must stay still!

It's possible to turn back the clock.

I can endure this!

He shouldn't be able to walk!

I can walk! Under my own power!

On my own two feet!

H-Hey! Are you okay, mister?

You're giving me your arm to lean on?

Get clear of him, Santa!

He's acting weird!

As for your scars, you might encounter

something that causes them to throb.

So, do be careful.

Apparently, living creatures get violent

when an old wound itches and throbs.

Weather, time, the causes vary widely,

but this is what sets mine off!

I reject your respect for the elderly!

You pushed a button you shouldn't have.

Sa

Allow me to teach you children something!

The sort of strength you can attain

by fighting the ravages of aging!

Physically!

And mentally!

Blah blah blah

You're one chatty cyborg, ain'tcha?

I sure hope that kids

don't believe in Santa Claus too hard.

What?

The greatest source of Santa Claus's power

is children believing in him.

I don't want to be at the mercy of Santa's

abilities more than I already am.

I almost wish that you two

would also forget he's my alter ego.

What brought this on?

No, I really mean it.

With great power

comes a great big pain in the a*s!

So, maybe dial down

the belief in Santa stuff, okay?

I'm asking you to believe in Santa!

I hope you didn't intentionally miss out

of concern for the elderly, Santa Claus.

He's fast!

It would appear that the reports of you

not having the hang of that body are true!

Let's stop taking our time.

Neither one of us has much of it left.

Hurry it up, sleigh runners!

Now you decide to take your time?

Fuyumura, Amaya! And you, Ono!

I take back what I said earlier!

Believe as hard as you can!

In Santa Claus!

In me!

I need a boost from you!

Oh, I get it.

The power of children who believe.

To Santa Claus,

that's the ultimate doping!

Huh?

I'm dead serious! We need to believe

in Santa Claus with all our hearts!

It's the only way we can help him win!

But practically speaking, how?

We need to do something

that shows our belief in Santa.

It's crazy, but let's try!

Let's hook him up

with the ultimate doping!

Keep it up! My body feels like

it's on fire!

Santa Claus, when children sleep

that's the sign

of their absolute faith in you!

Long ago

Santa Claus couldn't do his thing

on Christmas if the child wasn't asleep.

So, children would sleep,

believing that Santa would come.

This bond of trust

between Santa and children

came to be intertwined with sleeping.

Sleep easy, children!

I-I can't pull it free!

I remember what my mother once told me.

The reason that Santa

was forced out of business

is because children stopped sleeping!

Yes, because children these days

no longer require sleep!

Simply sleeping for one night will hasten

the aging of their precious young bodies!

And what's so bad about that?

Children are meant to sleep a lot, eat

a lot and laugh a lot as they grow big!

I won't let it be any other way!

You can relax, children.

Santa Claus has come to town!

Th-This is

Santa Claus's strength!

Fuyumura! Santa won!

If I'm believed in by even more children,

how strong will I become?

Maybe I'll be able to start making the

rounds again as the mighty Santa Claus!

You've got to be kidding me!

Time to send these

to the dry cleaner's, I suppose.

Is that all? Are you done?

Huh?

I do apologize, but compared to the agony

of full-body plastic surgery

one mere punch is nothing!

Out of the many operations I endured

the most agonizing by far was having

all of my internal organs replaced.

When my digestive system was replaced,

I was vomiting every day.

The next most painful procedure

He only gets damaged, he doesn't bleed!

was here.

Hormone injections into the spine!

And then the leg amputations

and attachment of artificial ones!

And then the thread lifts on my neck skin!

I endured agony of every stripe,

all in the name of reclaiming my youth.

Are you fighting me with that sort

of resolve in your heart?

Even if Santa Claus may be unkillable,

his ability to endure agony

is another matter entirely!

A Santa Claus who can't die

Metallic, yes? A tad hollow?

I'm sorry, but those are artificial.

I cast aside everything

that made me human long ago.

and a cyborg

who's forgotten what pain is.

This nightmarish fight can only end

one way. With you throwing in the towel!

Now, your next procedure will be

Wh-Who's that?

Hot!

How long has she been there?

I didn't sense her at all! How

Don't mind me, keep doing

what you were doing.

Look at you,

so eager to look young that you strut

along with that fancy trick cane of yours.

You're still as pathetic a man

as usual, Oshibu.

Hang on, I think that lady might be

If you want to stay young that badly,

put down the cane and try walking

on your own two feet like I do!

A word of advice from

the mistress of this academy.

"Mistress"? Could this lady really be

I've only heard her spoken of in rumors!

I knew it, it's really her!

It's the chief director

of Daikoku Welfare Academy!

Toyo Tetsudome!

Whew, goodness gracious!

Moving like that after so long

made the booze go right to my head.

That's sake in there?

Stop that brawling.

I've never seen anything like it!

People really get this wrinkly?

In the year 2080,

it's typical for people's looks

to not age beyond their 50s or 60s.

But it's just your heart and your hands

that age normally right until you die.

She's deliberately chosen to grow old?

How did she land a blow like that

with such an old body?

This interruption is most unwelcome,

Chief Director Tetsudome.

I must say, I am amazed

that you allow yourself to age freely.

In this era, where youth reigns supreme.

Even a piece of Japanese paper

balled up and flattened out again

would be smoother than your skin.

You and I are both in our 90s,

yet we are like night and day.

I suggest you stop right there.

She went for his knees!

We're both at an age when our joints ache.

Especially you, whose body is covered

in seams where natural meets artificial.

You just sit there like a teddy bear.

And you, the tall drink of water

You just gonna stand there or escort me

to the Chief Director's Office?

Uh, yes, ma'am!

Um, Chief Director!

Huh?

What about

You sit tight in the infirmary

and get some rest.

It's good to see you're safe, Ichie Ono.

I was rescued!

If this lady hadn't turned up

when she did, I would've lost, I know it.

I couldn't save anyone

not on my own!

It's just like Oshibu said!

If people become prone to crying

as they get older

will I be traumatized

by what happened tonight

and I won't be able to put it behind me?

But if that's true,

what's the point of becoming an adult?

-Hey

-Huh?

Are you gonna make a little old lady

climb the stairs?

Give me a lift.

Don't sway so much.

Y-Yes, ma'am!

It sure is quiet.

The typhoon must have gone.

I suppose it has.

Sh-She's so light!

A body that must've lived

for over 90 years

is as warm as a baby

that's barely out of the womb.

What is this feeling

that's so soothing, yet so confusing?

It'll be faster to climb

the stairs myself!

I'm getting off! Set me down!

Huh? What?

Seriously, what is her deal?

What's your name?

S-Santa Claus, ma'am.

Now that's an interesting name.

I'm sorry.

I'm crying and sniffling.

I'm acting like a kid.

There's no more proper human being

than someone who switches

back and forth from child to adult.

I want to hear

more of what this person has to say.

Why am I so drawn to her?

She's so small

has a bit of a mean streak

and when she does talk,

she only tells the truth!

Oh, that's why! This person

who's standing in front of me right now

is like a beautiful child!

I want to become strong!

If I don't do something,

I'll keep being beaten by Oshibu!

I hate being a Santa

who can't save a single child by himself!

I want to be a powerful Santa!

I want everyone to believe that I exist!

Please teach me how to fight!

The thing about Oshibu's surgical scars

I couldn't tell you how many decades

it's been since I last saw 'em.

They don't appear

unless he's riled up something fierce.

If you made him that angry,

I must say, I'm impressed.

I haven't had that kind of fight in me

for a long time.

Tell me.

Do you have what it takes

to change this school?

DAIKOKU WELFARE ACADEMY

TRAUMA-FREE CURRICULUM

Okay.

I think

I'll go tally up the repair expenses

for the school buildings you've wrecked.

What?

I know all, I see all!

If you're serious about wanting to

change this school, the first step is

Santa Claus

I know you're somewhere on school grounds!

Mark my words, I'll find out

who you really are and I'll k*ll you!

When I'm feeling antsy,

full of muddled emotions,

I sometimes just stand there,

or sometimes I shout

at the top of my lungs

When I'm feeling indecisive,

full of emotions that ebb and flow,

the diary I grumble and complain to

is tucked away in a closed drawer

How's it gonna turn out?

Not knowing, I just cry

I bet that's how it is, right?

Out of desperation, a lie

Really, how's it gonna turn out?

I wish I could stay in my dreams

I wish I could stay,

could stay, could stay

When I'm feeling antsy,

full of muddled emotions,

I sometimes just stand there,

or sometimes I shout

at the top of my lungs

It's ironic that it's only once

you've grown up

that you realize

you can't stay a kid forever

There are even times

that I get depressed

thinking about these days

I find myself in,

but once they've passed me by,

will I look back and miss them?

How's it gonna turn out every day

I'm shouting every day

So, he's Santa Claus.

-Huh?

-Sanda That came as a surprise.

He turns into a grandpa

when he wears something red.

Amaya calls him "Sand-pa."

Oh

Why?

Do you know how Sanda turns

back into a kid from Santa Claus?

I have no idea.

Why? I wanted so much

to be with Ono again, but

I give up.

It's Bratty Beans.

Bratty Beans?

BRATTY BEANS

I don't understand why it works, but when

he eats them, he turns back into a kid.

Why am I talking to her about this?

Oh, it looks like the typhoon is over.

Hey, look!

Hmm?

I've gotten a little taller!

Hey, you're right.

Puberty is pretty amazing.

I can tell

because I always touched your head.

But another measurement

grew even more than my height.

Want to touch those, too?

Hey, there you are!

Ono, this is for you!

What is it?

The Chief Director said to give it to you.

Something about there being

a change of clothes in it.

Oh, thanks.

I'm starving.

I bet you're hungry too, Ono.

Huh? No, I'm not all that

I'll go to the cafeteria

and bring back something to eat.

Sit tight.

Oh, I'll come, too!

I wonder if they have any ramen!

Ramen?

Yagiuda bought some for me and Amaya

yesterday in the cafeteria.

Yagiuda did that? Huh?

Why just you two? Not fair!

Don't take it out on me!

You weren't there!

Then you should have invited me!

What? B-But how would we

Beating me to it, that's not cool!