01x08 - Fresh Meat

[bunniefuu]

It was early afternoon,

when retired nurse Rita

and her unemployed cousin

Mavis were having a visit.

(coughing)

Mavis had been anxious

all day about an email,

an email that would

change her life forever.

Any word yet?

Not yet.

Just strugglin'.

If I get this job,

I'll gotta move

my family to Island Lake.

And they got them

big uncles up there.

Lips: What happens next

is unexplainable.

- (phone chiming)

- (gasping)

Hold on.

h*'leh!

I got the dang job, but they

want an answer right away.

Lips: Mavis started

to lose her mind,

and all Rita could offer was a

connection to another world

Well, pray on it.

the Spirit World.

Ehh.

What? That's all I got.

Lips: Soon after, the sign

they hoped for arrived

or so they thought.

(eagle screeching)

Mah! Did you hear that?

h*'leh! That's an eagle!

- (eagle screeching)

- Ever deadly sign!

Say yes to the job!

- (phone whooshing)

- Chi Miigs!

Job's mine.

Lips:

That's when Mavis got jarr'd.

How hard was she jarr'd?

Pretty hard.

The bird she had seen

was not an eagle at all.

Ever sick, that's a vulture!

That's not a good sign at all!

(screeching)

See?

That's why you

don't use moon'ya tobacco.

h*'leh!

What did the vulture mean

and what did it want?

Was it impersonating

an eagle or just flying by?

Or was it trying to warn Mavis

that the job would bring a

lifetime of big, muskeg uncles?

Coming up next,

we talk to the vulture.

Yes, I can love you baby

All night long

Rise and shine, Grouse Lake.

That was Slappy Brown

and the Knits,

and this is Laughingstick

in the Morning.

Beautiful day out there.

Saw Bruce the meat guy

unloading big slabs of meat

down at the North Store.

So, you better

get your hands on a ham

before they're all snatched up.

I've seen people rip through

a freezer full of hams

like bears in a dumpster.

Speaking of Bears

in a Dumpster,

here's their latest hit -

"Cryin' in the Nude."

(Country music

playing on radio)

(Paul yawning)

(grunting)

(laughing derisively)

Look who it is!

Eddie the Eagle himself!

What? They run outta coffee down

at the band office or what?

Yeah, sure. Let's go with that.

Oh. Good morning, Mom.

Ed was just

buying chips, right, Ed?

Yeah, sure.

Just buying Chips.

Ed

doesn't buy things.

Ed.

My Mom's house.

Rita (in his mind:) Ed was just

buying chips, right, Ed?

Morning-time.

Ed (in his mind:) Yeah, sure,

just buying chips.

No!

- I was gonna tell you.

- Paul: Someone crack a window!

I can't breathe!

- Maybe you should sit down.

- I'm getting dizzy!

I'm seeing

I'm calling the cops!

What? The police?

- (Paul groaning)

- I got priors, eh.

(body thudding)

I brought you some bannock.

I'm not even hungry.

Okay, I need to say something.

I've been seeing Ed,

but there's been others.

Other men?

What?!

This is the first

I've heard of this.

Sometimes, when I said

I was going to bingo,

it was actually a lie.

Okay, great! So, my mom's

a trickster, too.

Well, I didn't tell you because

I knew you'd take it bad.

I can handle stuff.

I'm not Baby Paul.

I'm Man Paul.

Would Baby Paul invite Ed

over for some bannock?

Or is that something

Man Paul would do?

Really? Give him a chance.

He's a really sweet man.

Sweet like a raisin.

(door opening, closing)

Ed, you want Man Paul,

f*ck' gonna get Man Paul.

You want a juice box?

Yes, Mama!

See the big man cry

See the big man cry

See the big man cry

As I walked out

on the street today

Hey, Brady.

The heck?

White boy just strugglin'.

(Muzak playing over P.A.)

Brady: Okay

Hey, everyone!

Come see Brady the sad loser.

He has nothing better to do

but cry at his old work.

Hurry!

Oh! oh! Now he's running away

like such a stupid baby!

Look at him!

Hurry!

Lips: Got a hot cup of

coffee and a hot cup of tea.

Lips, man

I've got work to do.

Shh! Didja hear?

Brady got fired.

I thought he was looking rough.

Didja know he took the

blame for smashing the TV?

Jo, you did that.

I know I did that!

Dammit, Brady.

He's doing this 'cause

he got a thing for me.

What? No.

I'm the cops,

I would know about that.

Well, Lips, maybe you're not

that great at being the cops.

Ouch.

Great.

So, now, I have to fix this.

Oh, yeah? If I'm not good

at being the cops,

then how come I know

your mom is snagging Ed?

Would a bad cop know that?

So, what brings you here

Grady?

Oh, I was doing, uh

- Please.

- Yeah, okay.

I was doing some bush pilot work

because I'm a bush pilot,

and uh

I saw this bright light in the

sky and then aliens.

- Huh.

- So, uh

Then, I woke up on a barge

that was heading straight

for Grouse Lake.

Barge? Okay.

Well, that is one crazy story.

Anyway, I'm not sure

how you could use me,

but, uh, I'd love a crack

at the manager's position.

Oh, wow. Um okay.

Well, listen, Brady--

oh, sorry.

I mean, Grady, I'm sorry,

but that position

has been filled.

Oh. Uh

That sucks.

Oh! But Bruce does

need an assistant.

Hey, Bruce!

Brucey boy,

come on over here!

- You're gonna love this guy.

- Bruce: Sure, Greggy boy!

- Oh!

- Bruce: Oh, watch out!

- (laughing)

- Come here!

Greg: Oh, you got me again!

(laughing)

Wait! Don't I know you?

No, no. Name's Grady.

Sweet suspenders, bro.

Oh, yeah.

Name's Bruce.

Welcome to the meat department.

Everyone loves Bruce.

If Bruce don't love you,

you got problems!

Greg: You heard him!

- Oh, watch out.

- Oh, oh, oh!

- Watch out!

- You got me again!

He sneaks up on me.

- Bruce: This guy

- (Greg laughing)

Ma!

Raisins in the bannock?

Since when?

It's the way Ed likes them.

Gimme yours, then.

Oh, here we go, Ed the mooch.

You know what Ed?

You're a lot like these old,

dried up raisins -

You make everything shitty.

(sniffing)

Still smells like raisins to me.

Did Ed tell you

that I'm going

into business with him

on his ecotourism idea?

I'm doing the merch!

Ed: "I'm bananas for

Ed's monkey zoo!"

(laughing)

Try it on, boy.

Why don't

you try it on?

Your mom went through the

trouble of making it.

Show some respect.

You

(chuckling)

can't tell me what to do.

That's enough!

Clearly you can't handle this.

Ma! No!

We're just playing around!

We're just bonding, that's all.

In fact, me and Ed are

gonna go and hang out,

really get to know one another.

Yeah, we're gonna

get real tight.

It's go time, Ed.

You want to take a swing?

Go ahead, boy.

Take a swing.

I've been waiting

to do this all day.

("Inuk"

by Northern Haze plays)

(grunting)

Whoa!

Whoa!

(grunting)

And stay away from your mom!

(groaning)

(gasping)

What?

(cackling)

Paul: No!

I have your favourite.

- What's that?

- Raisins.

(groaning)

You love raisins!

You're not my dad!

You love raisins!

- You're not my dad!

- (cackling)

You're not my dad!

I hate raisins!

You're not my dad!

You're not my dad! What?

What? Wha

(breathing heavily)

Oh! Oh!

You're fok'n

finished, raisin man.

Agnes: What's that, my boy?

Nothing, Mama.

(chuckling)

Nothing at all.

Ed: Keep it down in there

or I'll give you

something to cry about!

Leave me alone! Oh

I can't believe a sky person

visited you, man!

Yeah, it's-- yeah, it's a crazy

story, but it's true.

Yer hands down, the coolest

white guy I've ever worked with.

Oh, yeah? Uh

What about that old manager

who used to work here?

Brady?

I hate that guy. One time,

I tried to give him lice,

but they wouldn't take.

Oh, and another time,

I put live spiders in his desk.

(Regular voice:) That was you?!

(Gruff voice:) Oh, I mean,

I heard about that

in my logging camp.

I thought you were a bush pilot?

I am. I do both.

Yeah, log and fly.

You know

you look just like Brady.

Just fok'n with you!

I'd never say you look like

that loser Brady.

If he was here right now,

I'd probably punch him out

or give him lice.

(chuckling)

Yeah, lice is always funny.

Moochin' from

the canteen I see?

- Don't you have homework?

- Nah.

I was supposed to go grocery

shopping for my mom,

but I'm having trouble

reading her list,

and I was wondering maybe

if you could help me.

Bring it here, boy.

"Dear Agnes, my name is Ed,

and I'm

(chuckling)

"I'm a cheater, a mooch,

"I think monkeys are

sexually attractive."

You think this is gonna keep me

from seeing your Ma?

Okay, then.

"Don't tell anyone, for

I'm a huge monkey pervert.

"Signed, Ed."

Pfft.

This is not the first time I

heard this monkey pervert stuff.

Yer not my first step-son.

You're not my

step anything, bro.

Mom!

Listen to this!

Ed (on tape:) Dear Agnes,

my name is Ed, and I'm

(chuckling)

I'm a cheater, a mooch,

I think monkeys are

sexually attractive.

Don't tell anyone,

for I'm a huge monkey pervert.

(Ed laughing)

I'm just gonna come out with it.

I'm the one that broke the TV.

You broke the TV?

Okay. What happened?

Nothing major.

Just threw a can of food at

a skinny teen and missed.

That sounds major to me.

Brady lied to protect me.

He should never have been fired.

Actually, he was

fired for a series

of financial inconsist

Okay. Look, I like Brady.

Okay?

That's why I hired Grady.

Wait, who's Grady?

What the hell?

Brady, come over here.

This lady just called me Brady!

Hey Jo, get your eyes checked.

(chuckling)

It's Grady, actually.

If you see Brady,

let him know that he didn't have

to take the blame for the TV,

and I'm more than happy

to pay him back,

and he didn't have to

do that stuff for me.

Well, I don't know if

I'm gonna see Brady.

I mean,

I don't even know the guy.

But, uh I'm sure he'd say

that he'd do that for

anyone in the community.

I actually think you're right.

Okay.

Wow! Oh, yeah,

that's some beautiful work.

Hello, Ed.

Let's make--

Is that a sex sweater?

The hell!

You getting fussy, boy?

I think it's past your bedtime.

Man! Cover that sh*t up.

It's gross!

God

f*ck' cancel culture.

Hurry up! Jeez!

And you're wiping that

chair when you're done!

God

All right, good.

Now, that you put your

little raisins away,

Ed, let's make a deal.

All this can be yours.

All you gotta do is

leave my mom alone

and mooch a ride

right on outta here.

What do you think, Ed?

Take it.

I know you want it, Ed.

Take it!

Take it

I can't do it.

I can't.

If you want to bribe me

to stay away from your mom, you

shoulda offered me a whole $20.

Cheap a*s.

h*'leh heck!

You two idiots!

Mom, Ed beats me!

Oh, shut it. This is why

I don't tell you nothing.

(Speaking Indigenous language)

All I'm worth to you

is twenty bucks?

I'm sick of mooches

and I'm sick of big babies!

Get out!

- But But

And leave the shirt, it's mine.

Ugh.

11 Lil' Fatties.

12. 12 Lil' Fatties.

- 13 Lil' Fatt--

- Greg?

Can I see you for a minute?

Sure.

Oh.

You let Brady go because of some

financial inconsistencies?

Yeah.

But

All:

We are the inconsistencies.

Shh.

Oh, we're doing a

Brady lets me put all type

of sh*t on layaway.

Started small at first - some

jimmy-hats and body spray.

Now, I'm putting

everything on layaway!

It's rez'd out. I got this

washing machine in my room

and I don't even got a hook up.

We don't have

a lay-away program.

That's good, Sterling.

That's good. Mavis

Chief and Council were too cheap

to let me race my

RC cars in the gym,

so Brady let me have night

races in the North Store.

Gave me all the

chips n' dip I wanted

- There it is.

- on credit.

And now, I owe

so much dip money.

I'm sure you do.

He wouldn't let me host

my muskrat fights, though.

Muskrat? I'm sorry.

- Jo: That's enough.

- Did she?

Dean?

So, Lil' Tony came

here with his mom

to get him a USB for his movies,

but Brady lied,

said they sold out

because he knows

I'm the movie man.

Dean,

that's not what we talked about.

That's not what we talked about.

No, I'm sure it's not. Listen.

I can't give Brady his job back

just because you all

put on a nice little play.

(chuckling)

A little play

A little

Yeah. The little play

was for Brady. But

the store's lease is up soon,

and if you want

the band office to renew it,

you'll give him his job back.

Well, I

It's gonna take a lot of calls,

and, uh, I'm gonna

have to call HR,

but I love HR, so

Okay, fine, fine.

Brady can have his job back.

- (cheering)

- Oh, you guys!

Oh! It's me! It's me!

It was me the whole time!

Oh!

The mysterious bush pilot

was me the whole time!

Oh, I'm getting that now!

It's the same guy!

Thank you so much,

everyone. Wow!

Bruce: What?!

Oh! Hey, Brucey boy,

come on over.

Whoa!

Wait. Wait.

You're Brady! This whole time?!

Oh

No!

(sighing)

Supper for Mom is almost done.

Ed: She's here!

Both: Surprise!

What?

What are you both doing here?

Well, Ed and I both realized

how slack we were being.

So, we thought

we would make it up to you

by cooking you

this deadly dinner.

That's nice,

but bad timing.

Oh!

Hope I'm not interrupting.

It's okay, Greg.

We'll go to your place.

I'll get my Bingo bag.

Paul: Mom?

Can we go back

to the way things were

before I knew a damn

thing about your love life?

Deal?

Deal.

(sighing) Well, Ed

we've been through a lot.

I think we've really grown,

and I just want to

say that I still

really hate your guts.

Right back at you, boy!

Don't touch me.

Bruce you tried

to give me lice.

You put live spiders in my desk.

I hate your guts.

But you're the best damn meat

guy I've ever seen.

So, if we're gonna

continue to work together,

we're gonna have to settle

things here, today,

like men.

It's tether-time!

Screw you, Brady.

("Inuk"

by Northern Haze plays)