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01x01 - You're going to be my boyfriend.

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "A Couple of Cuckoos". Aired: April 24, 2022 – September 23, 2025.*
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Nagi Umino is a 17-year-old second-year high school student who learns that he is not the biological child of the family that raised him.

01x01 - You're going to be my boyfriend.

Post by bunniefuu »

LDR • Delivery Room • Operating Room

LDR • Delivery Room • Operating Room

Congratulations, Umino-san.

You have a healthy new baby.

She isn't hearing us.

We'll take her to the nursery.

Wait, was this the right bed?

It's the empty one there.

Yes, this was the moment

the fateful mistake happened.

Umino-tei Diner

Umino-tei Diner

Meeting

Umino

Morning.

Was it your turn today, Onii-chan?

Oh, I'm taking the one with the big yolk.

No.

The lecithin in egg yolk is good for memory.

Here we go again with the loner talk.

I bet that's why you can't make any friends.

Shut up.

What do you think, Sachi?

Looking snazzy, aren't I?

Move.

Also, lame.

What, are you in your rebellious phase now?

So annoying.

Onii, help me out here.

This family doesn't know how to calm down.

It's too early for this.

Nagi, where are my earrings?

The bottom right shelf.

You shoved it in there when you

were drunk yesterday, remember?

Oh, right.

Thanks.

Get ready as quick as you can.

Her parents are looking

forward to meeting you, too.

Go get 'em, Nagi.

Sure, sure.

As if they aren't eager to

meet their real kid, too.

I never thought kids getting put in the

wrong bed at birth was a real thing.

Nagi, we'll see you at the dining hall.

Don't be late.

Yeah.

Oh, right, Nagi

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

How are my earrings?

Looking snazzy!

Onii-chan, are you joining their family?

Of course not.

I grew up here for sixteen years.

Do you really think I could

accept new parents now?

Don't care.

Then don't ask!

You're going now?

I'm leaving early to study at the library.

Studying more? Today?

I have to beat my rival.

That again.

I can't believe you're actually

someone else's kid, though.

That explains so much.

You're nothing like the rest of us.

Plus you're book smart, and a loner.

All those jokes about them finding

me at the river weren't that far off.

I can't

I don't want you to go away.

You're so silly, Sachi.

I'm not going away.

I'm going to tell them straight up

that I have no intention

of becoming their child.

They said they would honor my wishes.

Gotta get this over with quick

and get back to studying.

W-Wait, what?

No! You need to think it through!

No, I'm not

Stop!

Ow

Seriously, what's wrong with you?

Get off me!

That's my li— Boobs!

Ow!

You were just pretending to k*ll yourself?

Yeah.

I was going to make a video

and upload it to Inusta.

Inusta

Inusta

But you had to go and get in my way.

You're going to start some drama.

That's the whole point.

New Post

Man, this video's useless.

Ow!

Ow!

That was all to get more followers?

I have plenty of followers.

Well, good for you.

What, is this girl famous or something?

I feel like I've seen her before.

It's for my mom.

I want to start some drama

so I can convince her that

I'm not going to get married.

M-M-M-Married?!

You didn't know?

You can get married at sixteen.

Yeah, I know.

That's not what I meant.

Wow, people my age are already

getting married, huh?

Wait a second

You're in the same kind

of situation I am, then?

I see.

You're a mix-up baby,

and I have an arranged engagement.

We both have family issues, I guess.

Seems so.

By the way, are you my age, then?

I'm Amano Erika.

I'm a second-year at Orpheus Girls' Academy.

Ah, OGA, huh?

That's that fancy princess school.

This girl

Amano Erika's so cute.

Think I could meet her

if I went to Orpheus?

This dumb crap is all they

talk about during breaks.

You? I doubt it.

She can't be this cute.

I bet she's using filters.

Hey.

Are you listening?

I-It wasn't a filter.

What about you?

Umino Nagi.

Second-year, too.

I go to Megurogawa Academy.

Megurogawa!

Hang on, isn't Megurogawa

a super-elite prep school?

You must be really smart, Nagi-kun!

I guess.

Nagi-kun

Nagi-kun?!

That's it! I can use that!

Huh?

Guess what? You're going to be my boyfriend.

Huh?!

Aren't you honored?

A-Are you crazy? Why would I be?

Who would go out with a bratty

minefield of a woman like you?

You're so silly. I meant pretend.

Pretend?

Who has arranged marriages

these days, anyway?

Why would I ever marry a guy when I don't

know what he looks like or anything?

Dunno.

I don't know anything about

the rich people's world.

So here's the plan!

She's not even listening.

"I have a boyfriend that

I'm deeply in love with."

"He's really smart and

he has a bright future."

High Intelligence

Bright Future

"He cares for me a ton."

Madly in Love

"Oh, Erika, you could have told us sooner."

And that's how the marriage was called off.

And she lived happily ever after.

I see. You have quite the imagination.

Right?

But alas, in reality, it fails.

For I have no intention of cooperating.

Huh?

What do you mean, "Huh"?

I told you.

I'm about to go see my real parents.

I don't have time for your games.

My "games"?!

My future is on the line here!

So is mine.

If you don't want to get married, then don't.

I'm asking you because

I don't have that option!

sh**t, what time is it?

Stop!

Yup, you're definitely squeezing here.

Definitely squeezing.

I can see that! You don't need to zoom in!

I don't think you can explain this away.

So what, then?

I'll just attach this clip of the video

to Megurogawa Academy's contact form.

Don't!

The school's going to contact my parents!

They'll be concerned about

my emotional well-being

and involve my real parents,

who are going to feel responsible

and force me into their care!

You're so desperate.

Obviously!

Cooperate with me, then.

Fine, as long as I can get

to where I'm going on time.

Okay!

So, what do I have to do to

pretend to be your boyfriend?

Isn't it obvious?

How would it be obvious?

I've spent my entire life studying.

I've never dated or anything.

Ew, that's hilarious.

Shut up!

You're on Google right now, too!

Found it.

It says you do it.

Do it Do it? Do it?!

Let me see that!

Stop it!

Come on, seriously, stop it.

Why don't you just use that?

Can't you just show them that picture?

Oh, I get it.

It would prove that I have a boyfriend.

It must be nice being smart, huh?

You don't even need the Internet.

More like you're not even thinking.

This picture makes it look like there was an

incident, though, so let's take another one.

And above all, I'm not cute in it.

All about you, huh?

Come closer.

Er, right.

Is this girl really a rich

person's daughter, though?

A little closer.

She smells so nice!

You just look like an idiot.

I'll send that video to your school.

I apologize.

And why does it look like I picked up

a random person off the street

to take a picture with?

Because I'm a random person off the street.

Oh, whatever.

Come with me.

H-Hey!

Where are we going?

To find clothes for you.

Huh?!

Quit griping and come with me!

This is perfect.

We totally look like a couple.

What's up with this?

I just remembered a girl in my class who

went for matching outfits with her boyfriend.

We look really close, don't we?

Not really. It just looks like we happened

to be wearing the same clothes.

Or like I've just been in an accident.

At least you don't look like

a random stranger, right?

Hello!

I'd like to buy all of this.

Total

That'll be 495,000 yen.

Four hun—

No, no, no, no, no!

I only have 1,000 yen!

I'll buy it in one payment on my card.

All of that?!

Keep the outfit. Think of

it as an official uniform.

Th-The stuff about her

being a princess was true.

What kind of home does she come from?

Here we go.

Look happy, like you're

having a lit-a*s time.

L-Lit?

Lit!

You're messing around, aren't you?

I'm dead serious here.

You have to act stronger if

you're going to be my boyfriend.

Stronger?

That's better than the last one.

We aren't going to get anything better.

I'm going to go borrow the changing room.

She's only showing her parents.

Do I really need to look strong?

Rich

Displays

of

strength

Displays of strength

Princess

Princess

Power

Power

Contracts

Contracts

Force

Force

In

all

black

In all black

Could it be that she's

Hang on Is your family a yak—

Hotel moguls.

Ah, so you're legit.

So why did you want us to dress up like that?

I figured my parents wouldn't

butt in if you looked strong.

She's actually just an idiot.

It's no use, though.

They all look so awkward.

What? After all that?

A good photo

I think a good photo is one that gives

you a sense of the air of the moment.

The air?

Yeah.

The climate, the scents

Not just that,

but also the air, as in the feelings of

the people in the photos and taking them.

That's why I try not to

edit my photos too much.

Huh

So I think I'll use this photo.

But that's the first one we took.

It's the one that makes us

look the closest, though.

And it's kind of funny, right?

I guess if you're happy with it.

Yup.

I thought Amano-san and I lived

in totally different worlds.

"Actually, I have a boyfriend."

Maybe she's actually pretty normal.

Upload the picture, and

Sent.

Dad

You're so funny lol

It's almost your curfew.

You'd better come home!

No!

How did he know?!

I guess there's no point in trying

to deceive your parents.

All right, then

We're going to have to do it.

Your ideas are so extreme!

What else am I supposed to do, then?

There's got to be something, right? Like

Hey, what's this about?!

I thought you didn't have

a boyfriend, Erika-tan!

No way Why are those guys here?

Friends of yours?

As if.

These guys are from the

high school next to mine.

I got doxxed a little while ago,

and now I'm dealing with stalkers.

Oh. I guess that's what

it's like being famous, huh?

Stop it.

You're a princess at a chaste

all-girls school, aren't you?

That's why we followed you, you know!

Don't worry.

She's perfectly chaste.

Seriously, don't!

Erika-tan, who is this guy?

Huh? Me?

Just ignore them.

I'm Amano-san's contractual boyfriend.

B-Boyfriend?!

Why would you tell them the truth like that?

This is the problem with

stuck-up studying addicts.

You can't engage with these kinds of people.

What was that?

Contractual?!

Who do you think you are, as*h*le?!

Wait, are they picking

a fight with me right now?

You just noticed?!

Get away from Erika-tan!

Come on, let's run!

Wow, he's tough.

What's wrong with this kid?!

Never come near Amano-san again.

W-We're sorry!

Those types of people need

to learn the painful way.

Th-That's an option?

Umino Family wisdom:

"If anyone picks a fight with you, win."

A

i

R

a

b

u

Y

u

I

n

v

i

n

c

i

b

l

e

My parents were both delinquents.

That's how I was raised.

Never mind that!

I just realized I have to punch him!

My fiancé!

I'm going to ruin the mood!

They'll stop talking about me marrying

him if I completely wreck the mood.

I guess that's better than trying

to get yourself canceled.

Wow.

I'm still excited.

I've never seen a fight in person.

I promise I'll give him a good

wallop like you did, Nagi-kun.

Yeah.

If that's what you're gonna do,

you might as well go whole hog.

Yeah!

Miss, it's time for you to come home.

Gah! They were tracking my GPS location!

Well, thanks for today.

I'll delete that video.

Please do.

Um

I guess since I'll probably never

see you again, I'll tell you

I don't have any friends,

because of how I am.

But it kinda felt like we were

on a date today. It was fun.

Too bad you're not the one

I'm supposed to marry, Nagi-kun.

Just kidding.

Goodbye.

I'd have to politely decline.

Crap! I'm late!

I'm sorry I'm late!

Ah, there you are.

Nice to meet you.

You must be Nagi-kun.

It's nice to meet you.

Where have you been?!

We were worried.

We thought you weren't

going to show up for us.

Thank goodness.

These are my real parents?

So anyway, Nagi, there's something

I've been keeping from you.

That's right.

The four of us parents talked it through.

Yeah?

The truth is,

we all care about our biological children,

as well as the children we raised.

It's been sixteen years, after all.

I'd imagine.

So then, we realized

If the two of you got married,

you'd both be our kids.

Wait, what are you saying?

I was so surprised when I saw

the photo my daughter sent me.

To think you two were

already in a relationship!

It sure does speed things along.

Huh?

Miracles really do happen!

She's back.

Allow me to introduce you.

To my daughter, Erika, with whom

you were mixed up at birth.

Wh-Why?!

That's my question.

I'm looking forward to your marriage.

M-Marriage?!

I can't accept that!

Neither can I.

But I have to keep my word.

Wait.

There's been a change in circumstances!

Ready? And

Ow!

That day, I became engaged.

And

I'm in Class A.

Segawa Hiro

Where is

Pardon me!

Coming through!

I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

Sure.

Thank goodness.

Sorry, I'm in a hurry.

I would have just let it slide before.

But now that I have a fiancée,

I need to hurry.

Segawa Hiro!

I'm taking you down in the next exam!

Um

Who were you again?

Umino Nagi!

The guy who's ranked second in our class!

I decided a long time ago

What kind of person do I like?

Someone smarter than me.

That once I reached number one,

I would confess to her.

Actually,

though

we

aren't

sib-

lings.

And so, fate was set in motion.

Oh, yeah

I guess Onii-chan wasn't really my brother.

Nagi-kun's my fiancé

This is an epic tale of love.