03x06 - Can’t We Just Have A Few Nice Things

[bunniefuu]

Listen to the bird ♪

(BIRD CHIRPS)

Listen to the sound ♪

(CHAIN RATTLES SOFTLY)

(BIRD CHIRPS)

In the rainforest ♪

Listen to the sound ♪

Musical ♪

Listen to the bird ♪

(SCREECHES)

Listen to the parrot ♪

(SCREECHES)

- BOWIE: OK.

- Uh-huh.

I mean, I might wonder if

low geomagnetic activity

is to blame for the style of your dream,

but, really, this couldn't be

a more straightforward reading.

And how long will the

dream analysis take?

Real life is so much more

complicated to understand.

This could all be a simulation.

OK, can we simulate a helpful

end to the dream analysis?

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got to be with the birds. Mum.

You've got You've

got to be with the birds.

You need to spread your wings.

Hmm.

Yeah, what does that

actually mean, though?

DOM: Greetings!

Ooh!

(IN ROBOTIC VOICE) Are we

ready for the tech event?

- Dad, no.

- Calm down.

I'm just limbering up. (GRUNTS)

Are you wearing that?

Yeah. Some of my

followers might be there.

Not for long.

Hey, hey, spread your wings.

Yes, thank you, Bowie.

- Be with the birds, you.

- Mm-hm.

God. Did I raise a charlatan?

Be with the birds.

- Well, uh

- (FEEDBACK SQUEALS)

Ooh, sorry.

Curiously, that, uh, also was

the motivating factor in my app.

Um, I was seeking help, uh

with an intimacy, uh, issue -

and I mean that in a friendship,

not, um, in the bedroom -

and, uh, I had met a

gentleman at the cinema

and I wanted to reconnect with him

but had no way or no

how, in fact, to do that.

And so, my son helped me

- who's joined us here today -

code the app.

Well, it was more me and

my, um, pet bird, Turtle.

- (PEOPLE LAUGH)

- May he rest in peace.

But the central idea behind Brover

is to connect men with other

mature blokes who hate people.

(PEOPLE LAUGH)

Bros before hoes!

Uh, well, they don't

necessarily need to be before

another demographic, so, um

Any other questions?

I might I'll give you a call

in a week, yeah? Yeah. Cool.

Dad. Dad, you beautiful man.

Not too waffle-y, was it?

Always. Always, Dad, but you know what?

I think people like an authentic

story behind their tech.

And you know what?

Good on you for being cool with

a little men's rights activist vibe.

Men's rights?

Incels need love more than anybody else.

I don't wanna be the

one to foster that love,

but props to you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Hey, uh, love the app, man.

Oh, you're a brov.

I'm a brover. I'm a

brover and I'm a lover.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

- I really love the app, really.

Thank you. Thank you.

We at Brover are always looking

to help our brethren connect.

Oh, well, thank you.

Actually, it's

Thank you very much

'cause it can be really,

really brutal out there.

Yeah, well, you gotta

find your brethren.

That's so true, that's so true,

'cause otherwise you find

yourself getting cancelled

just for saying that we gotta

balance out the misandry.

You know what I'm talking about.

You know it's women

behind p*nis mutilations?

- Are you across this?

- Women?

- p*nis mutilations.

- No, but, um

- Well, it's gotta stop.

- Sure, any

- It's gotta stop.

- mutilation needs cessation.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the law of the jungle.

It's one rule for the alphas.

It's a whole other bunch of

crapola for betas like us.

I'm an omega.

Omega, epsilon, whatever.

You know, my point is we're

all getting cucked into oblivion

by these feminazis

with their little apex fallacy bullshit

and we're being dragged into

the muck with them, aren't we?

Mate, thanks for your support.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you and thanks for the app.

I've got a podcast. I'll

I'll I'll message you.

Welcome to the manosphere.

('AQUÍ VOY A ESTAR'

BY LUZ PINOS & MARETH)

(PASSIONATE MOANING NEARBY)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(BOTH PANT AND MOAN)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Ay, I love this wine.

Mm. I can get you some more.

Bring it to your house. Home delivery.

No, no, I like this wine here

in this room, not in my house.

Hey, do you want to

finish the movie tonight?

But isn't mi papi coming to get me?

Yeah, but you could stay another night

and we could have whatever

you wanted for dinner.

- Fish fingers?

- Yeah.

Jelly?

Yeah! Fish fingers and jelly.

Can do.

Yay! Oh. I need to wee.

- Hey.

- OLY OVER PHONE: Hey.

Just leaving now.

Yeah, that's what I was

just calling you about.

Um, J's a little bit under the weather.

- Is she OK?

- Yeah, she's just

- (TOILET FLUSHES)

- She's got a cold or something.

But I just thought maybe she

should just stay another night.

Uh

Rather than handing her over

sick and tired, you know?

Uh, I guess.

Um, do you not have any plans or

Oh, nothing that I can't get out of.

OK, yeah, I'm cool with that.

Can I say goodnight?

- (TAP RUNS)

- Uh Oh, she's just crashed.

Aw, poor puchita.

Well, um, just tell me

if anything changes.

Yeah.

And I can pick her up in

the morning if you want.

- JACINDA: Jelly!

- OK, I will. Alright, bye.

Jelly!

J's not feeling well.

She's already gone to bed.

Oh.

Hope she's OK.

Let's go to the Continental.

- Go out?

- Yeah.

More, please.

More, please.

- More, please.

- (LAUGHS)

Alright, is that enough?

('THERE YOU ARE' BY SNOWY BAND)

I know you are ♪

Who you say you are ♪

You're a beautiful star.

- (CHUCKLES)

- I know you are ♪

What you say ♪

But I can't lock

eyes if I can't decide ♪

I know you are ♪

So, who am I? ♪

And then there you are again ♪

(MELLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

I know you are ♪

What you say you are ♪

And I couldn't stomach another bite ♪

Or another night apart ♪

There you are again. ♪

Tie? No tie?

Only if it makes you feel good.

Tie it is.

I'm not saying power couple,

but I'm not not saying it.

I haven't got it yet.

But, when you do,

we'll be able to,

like, drive in together,

go to that yum salad place for lunches.

- Yeah.

- (PHONE BUZZES)

Hey.

Hello?

Oh, puchita! Hey, how are you feeling?

Splendid! We went to the pool!

J, put your shoes on now, please.

Hey, Santi.

Hey, Ol. What's going on?

Uh, nothing. We're just getting ready.

Did you really take her

to the pool if she's sick?

Yeah, she had a dream about swimming

and she was dying to go.

Right.

Is she OK to go to school?

Yep, yeah. She just woke up way better.

Hey, can we talk about this later?

We're literally walking out the door.

Yeah, sure. I

Is everything OK?

Uh, yeah.

I think Oly lied about J being sick.

Oh. That's, um

It's weird, right?

It's, like, so not an Oly thing to do.

We should probably get

going, so you're not rushed.

- What?

- Nothing.

I'm just listening

to what you're saying,

that it's out of character.

Oh, right.

Sorry. I must have misunderstood.

Except, um,

only because you're worried about it,

when I bumped into you

with Oly the other day

Mm.

she was wearing the same shoes

as the person with the fox mask.

The weird vase chick?

You think that was Oly?

Does she have a friend called Madison?

OK, what are you saying?

I'm just agreeing with you

that her behaviour might be off

and if she's lying to you

- I didn't say she was a liar.

- You just did.

No.

OK.

I don't need this right now.

I've been working on site

for the last few years

and I thought it would be

good to move into something

with a career trajectory

that's, you know,

more aligned with my personal goals.

And Keeks - sorry, Kiara -

mentioned that there may

be a spot on the team,

so, you know

You wrote in your cover letter here

that you're enrolling in a

project management course?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm definitely

looking to get that done.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hey.

So, are you gonna tell me

what's going on?

Uh, I'm preparing an ethics lesson

for our daughter's class

that I volunteer for,

is what's going on.

Oh, well, that's great.

Are you gonna tell them how you

stalked my girlfriend in a fox mask?

Yeah, I know about that, Oly.

OK, it wasn't like that.

Is there something I

should be worried about?

No.

OK, well, then, what

about the sneaking around?

The lying about J being sick?

Well, you went out and had a

big night with your girlfriend,

so you should be thanking me

for giving you the night off.

- What?

- I saw it on her Instagram.

I'm just saying that

you weren't very bothered

about it last night.

I don't get why you're lying to me, Oly,

or why you think it's a problem

that I went out last night.

I don't get who you are at the moment.

ROSA: Mm, thank you

for the lovely dinner.

Mm-hm.

I could come in for another drink?

The night is young.

Yes, the night is young.

I got it. My time is over.

So, now you don't like

our topic of conversation?

No, no, no, no, that's not it.

Your mistress? Mm-hm.

I was a teenage boy once.

It's confusing.

I was angry all the time, and sad.

Thank you for the lovely dinner.

- Ay, Rosa

- No.

- Amor.

- No.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)

I'm not saying that Brover

has been overrun by incels.

- He is, though.

- No, I'm just curious.

Hey, I'm just curious to know

if there might be particular things

that some of the users have in common.

- Like being incels.

- And if, you know

If the make-up of the users

are accurately represented

sh*t, Bowie, you're

not an incel, are you?

I am voluntarily celibate,

not involuntarily.

So, you're a 'volcel'?

Ha-ha, really? Shut up.

If those people at the panel

are reflective of the user base,

if, then Brover is

Overrun by incels.

DOM: Oh, g*dd*mn it!

Can't either of you even

at least pretend to care

how I feel about this?

- Oh, no, we do care.

- Bullshit!

And you're wrong, both

of you. And you, mate.

Look, I'll show you. Watch this.

First person that comes up. A

Ha! A perfectly normal-looking bloke.

Does his T-shirt say

'Men's Lives Matter'?

- (ANGIE SNORTS)

- Well

OK, well, that's a bad example.

No, thank you.

Thank you, bye.

- Tight-arse!

- I know.

These are quality.

Wait, what?

Yeah. Mum said sell whatever.

OK, this whole garage sale

is testament that some things change,

but a teacher's corduroy

jacket is forever.

And, actually

Please have this.

Just throw it on for a school pick-up?

Wear as you wish.

I can't anymore, but I also

can't sell it to a stranger.

Oh

- Take this off?

- Yeah.

I was in Daunt Books in Hampstead.

OLY: Mm?

Like, I wanted to look

at every book in the place

rather than go home.

And I saw this one that

they made into a podcast

about a woman who was found

asphyxiated in her house,

but with no evidence anyone had done it.

And I was, like, "That me."

Totally suffocated.

Not his fault, not really mine,

but that's where I realised

I needed to get divorced.

Then I walked out

and immediately saw this jacket

in a window across the road.

- It is a sh*t-hot jacket.

- Facts.

Oh, you're the best.

I know, babe.

So, do you think this will

make me decisive and powerful?

- I hope so.

- Or just divorced?

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oly.

Hi.

Hey. Wow.

Reema the jellyfish instigator.

Michael the tutor.

I'm actually not her

tutor anymore, though.

So I've heard.

And I've heard that you're

going back to study law. Yeah?

- What practice area?

- Criminal.

Oh. Good choice.

You know, I could

actually help introduce you

to Professor Crossing.

She's a She's a

good friend of my mum's.

If you want, you know, or not.

Oh, that's actually really thoughtful.

- Thank you.

- No worries.

So, are you just browsing

or are you looking to buy?

Uh, no, I'm ready to buy.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Well, we have a weird range of things

you'll be sure to find confusing.

Uh-huh. Uh, can I buy you for a date?

(LAUGHS)

Sorry, that came out kind of wrong.

Um, no, that's fine.

I know what you mean.

Terrarium?

- Yeah, sure.

- Lovely.

Great, thanks.

Cool. Um Ooh, what about this?

- Cute.

- REEMA: Mm-hm.

- Um, and that guy.

- This?

- Yeah, I need him

- Oh.

in my life.

(REEMA CHUCKLES)

I mean, who doesn't

need a wooden pig, right?

And this.

OK, you really don't need to

buy that many things, Michael.

No, no, it's cool.

Nah, I just, you know

I want to get into the spirit of things.

Hey, so, uh,

how's your scholarship

application coming along?

Oh, yeah, it's good.

You know I got the same one, right?

So, I can help if you like.

OK, that's 180.

That's that's great.

Yeah. Good price.

- Just here is good.

- Thank you.

- (CARD READER BLEEPS)

- (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Thanks for coming by.

No, thank you. Um, it's good to see you.

Sorry, but you look amazing, right.

Anyway, uh, I'll see you soon, then.

Sure.

Sorry. Is that OK?

Um, I'll see you soon.

- OK.

- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Bye.

So, did you get a D in that class?

(BOTH LAUGH)

ANGIE: Do you think we'll

ever truly be able to fathom

how big 46 billion light-years is?

Like, really wrap our minds around

even the idea of the universe?

And by the time we've done that,

it's expanded further

beyond our comprehension.

Like always elusive.

OK. Something's shifted

in you, hasn't it?

Hmm?

You were right about the birds.

You're a genius.

You're not a charlatan.

Hey?

No, no, no, it's not your fault. No, no.

Thanks for getting in touch with me.

Not good news?

No, he said the app

is What are you doing?

What's gotten into you?

(SIGHS) He said the app, Brover,

is now basically a digital dog whistle

for men's rights activists.

There must be some nice, normal

guys using it as well, though.

They've ruined it, though.

I can only, like, sell it or crash it.

Oh, take the money.

Shutting down Brover won't end misogyny.

Yeah, you should kamikaze it.

Just go out in a blaze of glory

or at least a really emphatic

press of a button, man!

You just need to ask yourself,

"What would Radiohead do?"

Play Tel Aviv?

That's it.

My app came from a pure,

beautiful, vulnerable experience

and these arseholes have hijacked it

and completed ruined the app

and none of you pricks give a sh*t

how devastated I am about it!

So, thank you!

Sell their data.

Is that a joke or a serious suggestion?

A serious suggestion.

Sell their data, then shut it down.

You'd still remove at least one

of their creepy little networks,

but you'll get a bit of pocket

money and, most importantly,

you'd spam those pricks to death.

('QUIÉREME NA'MA' BY LA 33)

No, no, no, no. Excuse

me. What are you doing? No.

Hello? No.

This is the most expensive

part of the house.

Nobody else can use it.

- Hola.

- BERNARDITA: Hola.

(ALEJANDRO CHUCKLES)

For a new retreat?

New project.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(GASPS) J-Bear!

Hey. (GROANS)

- Hey.

- Hey.

Say bye to Daddy.

- Bye.

- Bye, puchita.

Do you want to take

your bags into your room?

OK.

(PHONE BUZZES)

One for you. Two for you.

(PHONE CHIMES)

(FOOD BUBBLES)

If you want in the future,

you can just text me when you're

outside and I can bring J out

so you don't have to come in.

Oly

I felt sad, OK?

I didn't want her to go. I wanted her.

So why didn't you just say that?

Don't know.

You know, you can still tell

me if you're down in the dumps.

Well I guess I

didn't want to admit it.

Anyway

Mum, where's my lipstick?

SANTI: I'm not condoning that.

You don't own lipstick.

JACINDA: Bollocks!

(OLY AND SANTI CHUCKLE SOFTLY)

Did you want to stay for dinner?

- I'd love to, but

- You've got plans.

Just some stuff to do.

Yeah, sure. Of course.

No problem.

Well, I'll, um I'll

speak to you later.

Bye.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)

(PHONE BUZZES)

Hey.

Hey. Are you OK?

Yeah, and so are you.

Uh, it isn't official

and pretend I'm not saying anything,

but I know for a fact

that you're getting a second interview.

Really?

Well, don't be so surprised,

but you'll need to act

surprised when they tell you.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, of course.

That's that's great news.

Do you want to come with

me to hot yoga tonight?

Um, you know, I would

I'd love to, but I've just

I've just picked up J,

so I'm on duty tonight.

OK. Well, talk to you later?

OK, I'll speak to you soon. Bye.

Well, the handshake has happened.

The deal has all but gone through.

Their data has been sold, thanks to you.

Not for much, but

it's the end of an era.

It's a beautifully

elegant solution, Dom.

- Hear, hear.

- Thanks, guys.

Wait, you're not taking

the piss, are you?

No, we're saying well done!

- Well done.

- Yeah. You're a tech genius.

- Come on! Bubbles!

- They're just being merry, Dad.

- They're in support.

- (CORK POPS)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

We're all loving your example

of living with purpose.

- Well, thank you, Boz.

- Yeah.

To Brover.

Ooh, wait for me.

An admirable ambition.

DOM, ANGIE AND EDITH:

An admirable ambition.

- Yep.

- Good to be us.

Mm.

Wait till my next app, hm?

It'll blow your socks off.

EDITH: Oh, yeah?

It's gonna be biggerer and betterer.

- (ANGIE LAUGHS)

- BOWIE: Do you need a hand?

DOM: Maybe. No, thank you.

You don't think I should

add a couple more references

just to give a better idea of the scope?

Um, yeah, or you could

I mean, you could add

another reference or two

just to round it out.

Yeah, I just said that.

Yeah, um

I mean, the other option is,

well, we could both acknowledge

that you've definitely got

the application in the bag

and use this time for

something more fun?

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Well, um, you could imagine

that I am slowly unclipping your bra

Um, sorry, I can't hear you.

Ooh, OK, I have to go

and talk to my daughter

who's standing right

next to me in this room.

OK, bye.

What are we doing?

We are investing in

our intellectual future.

Investing in our intellectual future.

I want to.

I have an idea for a game. Look.

But, um, I did a lot of

this stuff a long time ago.

Really?

I didn't know that.

Thank you, Ita.

I'll be there in a sec.

('MAN I KNOW' BY CHARLIE GRADON, DARBY)

(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)

There's a soft green canopy ♪

From my door frame ♪

It's a nice bright light ♪

Against this crying sky ♪

And I can't see where it leads ♪

But that's OK ♪

At least there's mystery in my mind ♪

What does a good love look like? ♪

I wanna hang a new picture ♪

I never want to reconstruct you ♪

But the pieces don't

look like the man I know ♪

I know these streets so well ♪

I walk the back lanes ♪

To find hell ♪

There's a local's lounge ♪

In every corner ♪

Of every hotel ♪

At least there's

height in all the depth ♪

Or I like to think so ♪

What does a good life look like? ♪

I wanna hang a new picture ♪

I never want to reconstruct you ♪

But the pieces don't

look like the man I know. ♪