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01x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Mr Loverman". Aired: 14 October – 4 November 2024.*
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Antiguan-born Londoner Barrington Jedidiah Walker (James) has his marriage collapse after a decades-long affair with his male best friend is revealed.

01x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

Cos, boy...

..will be boy.

LAUGHTER

DOOR OPENS

Larry. You're a
damn fool. Larry...

Listen, Larry. Listen,
listen... Larry, please!

Larry...

Larry, Larry, please.

You chupid boys best
listen, and listen good!

You're raas damn
lucky it was me.

You only get one life.

You screw it up an' no joke.

Understand?

You'll destroy everything.

What we gon' do,
Barry? What if he talk?

Him won't. But if
anybody find out, Barry...

HE SOBS ..we dead, Barry.

PHONE RINGS

HE GROANS

Hello?

You are, without doubt, the
most unfeeling person ever!

Donna, my darling, it is too,
too early for such accolades.

Don't you "Donna,
darling" me, Dad.

I'm having to go to Antigua for
Grandad's funeral because you won't.

So I'm going to drop Daniel
round at yours midday.

Come again?

I need you to look after him.

Look after him?

Trust me. I can't... I wouldn't be
asking you if I had another option.

But Maxine's got a work thing

and he needs to
revise for his mocks.

So don't let him out,

and don't let any
friends round, OK?

Listen, please, I...

I'm relying on you
to behave yourself,

and to set a good example.

Do I make myself clear?

INNER VOICE: Welcome
to Planet Donna Deluded!

Am I making myself clear, Dad?

My dear, you are
clear as crystal.

Good.

You need to connect
with your grandson again.

HE CHUCKLES

OK.

MUSIC: This Is My Story by
Dave Richardson & The Invincibles

♪ This is my story

♪ This is my song

♪ It's a song of
love confession... ♪

Oh, how come you never tell
me which one was for which?

I did. Then which is which?

You never listen!

Use your common sense.

♪ I'll never love another

♪ I'll never love again

♪ Unless I'm loving you... ♪

WOMAN LAUGHS

You must have a special
cleaning procedure you inherited

from your mother.

No?

It should be a doddle for someone
as smart as you, Barrington.

Ah, the woman does have
skills that she pass down,

secret rites like...

..how to give birth to children,

how to give men grief. Hey!

THEY LAUGH ♪
I'll never love again

♪ Unless I'm loving you... ♪

Honey Monster, his breakfast.

Rum, mine.

♪ I'll never love another

♪ I'll never love again... ♪

You wanted to paint over this.

That was you.

No, sir. Mm-hm.

Well, I had the right, didn't I?

It's my house. I bought it.

You may have bought
the house, Barrington,

but I made it a home.

♪ This is my story... ♪

DOORBELL RINGS

♪ This is my story... ♪

DOORBELL RINGS

Boy, have you grown an
inch since last Sunday or what?

Hello, Grandy.

Hello, Danny boy.

Oh, Lord.

What the aftershave you wearin'?

Why? Do you like it?

It smell like a funeral home.

HE LAUGHS

CAR ENGINE STARTS

Come in.

The bachelor
life, is it, Grandy?

Are you cheeking me, Danny boy?

Mum said you turned this
place into a dump within a week.

Really?

I tell you what, you go
upstairs and off-load your stuff

and then we can have a little
natter about the slanderous things

being said about
innocent people.

I'll put the kettle on.

Unless you would prefer
something a little stronger?

Grandy, it's only, like,
half 11 in the morning.

Oh, you're right.

DANIEL TUTS

What?

You're a bad influence. Huh?

REGGAE MUSIC

Hmm.

Welcome...

..to Grandy's Bar.

AFFECTS CARIBBEAN
ACCENT: All right, hmm...

Give me one glass
of whisky, hmm?

Cos I is a rude boy,

and me wan' it on
the rocks, Grampops.

Now, either you're
Irish, all of a sudden,

or you are trying
to make fun of me.

IN HIS NORMAL ACCENT: Not at all.
It's just I wish I could talk patois

like you, but Mum
always forbade it.

Danny boy, let me
tell you something.

Speaking one tongue don't
preclude excellence in another

because I can speak the
King's English when I feel like it,

because I know my
syntax from my semiotics,

my h*m*
from my h*m*,

and don't even get me started
on my... dangling participles!

DANIEL LAUGHS

You know, back home I would get
beats if I didn't know my grammar.

I know my grammar too, Grandy.

But we're in the minority.

And sometimes...

Sometimes?

Go on. This is a safe space.

Sometimes I wish I didn't because
it makes people treat me funny,

black and white.

Almost mistrustfully. You know?

Mm.

You pay them no mind.

As we have already
established, most people...

..plain stupid.

You just have to go
on socials to see that.

Social?

Social media. I'll
show you sometime.

Get you online, bring the
world into your sitting room.

Oh, no, no. No.

I don't want the whole world
making noise in my yard.

I have enough troublemakers
in my life already.

Here.

Cheers. Cheers.

HE SPLUTTERS

BARRY LAUGHS Ooh!

OK.

I'm more of a brandy man myself.

Hm.

OK, Danny boy...

Let we talk man to man,

cut right to the chase.

What's your mother
been saying about me?

It's not so much she
hates you. Oh, h*.

More she hates herself
and transfers it on to others.

And you know
what they call that?

Freudian projection.

It's when you have...
Yes, of course.

I know.

I studied it for my
Psychology GCSE.

Oh. It's a psychological defence
mechanism, whereby someone

unconsciously denies his or her
own attributes, thoughts and emotions

which are then transferred
onto others, such as

a convenient alternative
target. PHONE VIBRATES

INNER VOICE: Was I ever
such a smug know it all?

Cos he sound like he
reciting it from a textbook!

So you have a girlfriend?

DANIEL SIGHS

Daniel?

Hm?

Do you have a girlfriend?

HE SIGHS Yes.

BARRINGTON CHUCKLES Chris.

Chris? Chris.

You know what would
be proper gangster?

What?

If you got plaits,
like Kendrick.

Do you want to get,
like, really f*cked?

Dab some weed with
me and I'll let you taste it.

Maybe we see if I can
finally handle that BBC...

Mm...

HE RETCHES

Yeah, it's complicated.

Isn't it always?

Don't tell Mum, though.

I swear, living with her is
like living in an insane asylum.

What make you think she mad?

She's the biggest hypochondriac.

Smallest thing wrong with me,

and it's, like, terminal.

Yet she still applies me with
fast food and processed junk.

How sectionable is that?

And no matter how
much therapy she has,

she still blames
Dad for everything,

when I know for a fact
she was a right b*tch to him

and forced him to leave...
Whoa, whoa, hold on.

That is my daughter
you're calling a b*tch.

And how you know what went on,
when him gone before you was born?

He told me.

What, you see Frankie?

Huh?

You see your father?

Is him do this?

BABY CRIES Frankie did this?

We should call the police.

No... No, Mum, please.

Donna...

No, she right. No police.

Jesus.

Donna, it's all right.

Darling, look at me.

No police.

BABY FUSSES

BANGING ON DOOR

Argh! Mr Walker...

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

So this been going on from time?

A while. Hmm.

I just needed someone
to talk to, you know?

A man in my life.

Maybe he'd like to man up
and pay for your schooling,

cos God knows he owes
enough child support.

OK, so he's made a few mistakes.

A few.

But, then, who hasn't? Ha!

And your mother...
PHONE VIBRATES

..she knows nothin' about
you and Frankie, right?

Daniel?

Hey.

Right?

She'd go even more mental.

So don't you ever tell her.

OK?

Look at me.

Ever.

Yes.

I hear you have to revise.

How's everything
going with that?

Cool.

Cool?

The data is all lodged up
in this hard drive of mine.

OK? I'm applying for Harvard
now, as well as Oxford.

There's so much competition.

Only one person can
be Britain's first black PM.

You know something, Danny?
The real test of success is

how you manage failure.

You have to be prepared
to im... TIMER BEEPS

Prepared to improvise.

Oh. Hm.

Hm...

I like being here, Grandy.

Though...

..where's your partner in crime?

I take it you mean your
Uncle Morris? Mm-hm.

Him busy right now.

Aw.

So you had a lovers' tiff?

What'd you say?

DANNY LAUGHS It's...

Mum's always joking
that you and Uncle Maurice

should've married each other.

Hm. You know, cos
you're inseparable.

Let me tell you something,
Danny boy, that you don't know.

Me and your Uncle
Morris have been lovers

from when we was younger
than you are right now.

So what you have
to say about that?

GLASS SMASHES

CHUCKLING

Wow.

Your mother is
full of jokes, hey?

HE LAUGHS

PHONE ALERT

KNOCK AT DOOR

Everything all right?

Yeah.

Fine, thanks, now, Grandy.

Problem with havin' the whole
world in your bedroom is I suspect

it makes it hard to sleep, hey?

Erm...

Maybe, Grandy,

if there wasn't a little
thing called "night mode".

HE CLICKS BUTTON Voila.

After all, revision tomorrow.

Yes.

I can get you anything else?

You want a hot chocolate or a...

You'll be offering
to tuck me in next.

Once upon a time.

Good.

OK.

Night.

Night, Grandy.

MUSIC PLAYS

Pap, pap, pap!

Truth is you man a p*ssy.

Screw your face in
hard like you want d*ck.

But when I pull up,
you ain't saying sh*t.

f*cking f*gg*t! Suck
on my nine-inch bit.

Pap, pap, pap, pap, pap!

Boy, what the hell is this?

Morning, Grandy.

"Morning, Grandy"?

Don't you "Morning, Grandy" me.

What is this?

No...

RECORDING: f*cking
f*gg*t! Suck on my nine-inch bit.

Pap, pap, pap!

Ah... This is not what it
looks like. No, clearly.

Cos here's me thinking
you up early, studying,

when all the while
you're here, in my house,

spouting this-this-this...
This hateful diatribe?

Grandy, you don't understand.

It's just music. It's music?

Yeah, lyrics. You know,
for a drill song. Look.

RAP MUSIC

♪ ..they know, so they
act like their vision is bad

♪ On my own, but my
presence, like, bringing the g*ng

♪ If I go on my own... ♪

I don't... MUSIC STOPS

It's not like I believe any of
it. Then why you saying it?

I don't know. It's what
my friends and I are into.

Well, them, more than me.

They thought it would be
cool to do a video like this,

you know, for TikTok.

Asked me to do the rap.

And why you?

I'm the best at English.

Say again?

I'm the best at English.

Danny boy...

Come. We going out.

Find your coat.

I...

Did I know him?

Nor me.

But he was one of
we, one of our family.

My brother Larry's grandson,

who I never knew even
existed until he was...

..stabbed, m*rder*d,

became just another headline.

God.

He was only 14.

You could've been
a role model for him.

Now he's a warning for you.

Grandy, I told you...
And now I'm telling you.

Your idiot friends are
indulging in a fad that will have

no consequences
on their futures.

Whereas for you,
the first black PM?

Well, you can forget dat,

if any of this drill nonsense
were ever to come out.

Because the sad truth is certain
people can c*ck-a-doodle pigs

and still get ahead.

But that is not the
reality for us black folk.

You never let other people's
narrow-minded expectations dictate

who you are, who you're goin'
be, or what life you should live.

Only cowards and fools do that.

Cowards and...

..fools.

Thought you might like a break.

Hm.

Thank you, Grandy.
You're welcome, Danny boy.

DISTANT MUSIC

Oh, God, my head hurts.

INNER VOICE: I'm not surprised
the boy have a headache.

Carmel gave me enough of them
with the way she dress up this room!

Come, come!

All right. Mm-hm.

You, me and baby make three.

Make four. Make
four! THEY LAUGH

Come.

♪ I'll never love another

♪ I'll never love again

♪ Unless I'm loving you. ♪

It's good, hey? Mm.

And... locally sourced.

Hm!

Moon run faas but day ketch 'im.

Oh! Hm?

Indeed. Mm!

Your actions and misdeeds
will always have consequences.

That's very good, Daniel.
PHONE VIBRATES

No, it's, erm...

..very good. Yeah.

CAR HORN BEEPS Oh...

I've got to go.

Go where?

Off out with a couple
of school friends.

Don't worry.

Not THOSE friends.

INNER VOICE: Tell him
to sit him lanky arse down.

That him goin' nowhere.
You heard what Donna said!

You know it's our show,
and it's about to start.

Fill me in tomorrow.

Back late, so no
need to wait up.

Hey,

Danny boy...

..you want me to
come pick you up?

No, it's OK.

My friend's got a car.

INNER VOICE: Your
friend got a name?

OK. OK.

Go and enjoy yourself.

Blow off some steam, strike
some poses on the dance floor, hey?

Thanks, Grandy.

I knew you'd understand.

But don't look at any
roughnecks in the wrong way.

OK? Cause they might, erm...

..stab you.

OK!

Bye.

Bye.

DOOR CLOSES

RAP MUSIC FROM CAR

NEWSREADER: ..stabbed to
death on the streets of London.

The victim, aged 14, was
found with a fatal stab wound

in Hackney Central, East London,

late on Thursday night.

Despite the efforts
of first responders,

he died at the scene.

A statement has been released
by the lead detective on the case.

"All of our thoughts are with
the family of this young man,

"who has tragically
had his life cut short."

PHONE RINGING

MAN: Hello?

Barry?

Is that you?

Barry?

HE SIGHS

HE BANGS RECEIVER DOWN

You... stupid coward.

Harris would tell
you not to worry so.

Coward!

HE GASPS

MUSIC PLAYING

HE COUGHS

Since when I live
over a nightclub?

LOUD RAP MUSIC

♪ Born battyboy Born battyman

♪ Run dem down, they
can come back again... ♪

What happened to Daniel?

Why... Mr Walker?
..are you in my house?

Are you gonna take
that from Grandad, bro?

Come on, let's go.

Nah, f*ck that.
Dan said it was cool.

Hey, for the home
boy, Jerome, huh?

Oh...

Easy, old man!

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, wake up, man.

No!

Not this place.

Not your grandmother's things.

Look at what you've done!

You're smoking, you're trashing.

You are trespassing!

I want all of you to get the
f*ck out of my house now.

MUSIC STOPS Hey, hey, hey...

How dare you damage
my personal proper...

f*ck your property!

And don't make me
tell you again. f*ck off!

Grandad... Grandad, I
swear, I-I never meant to...

Don't you speak to me.

And leave. Me said
leave, so come out!

I say leave, so
leave and take this...

..this... h*m*
sh*t noise with you!

Oh, burn, battyboy, burn! No...

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. No,
no, no, no, no...

Hey, hey, hey. Just
go. Whoa, whoa...

f*ck you getting all
off at me for? Just go!

What you gon' do?

Stop f*cking looking at
me like you want my c*ck.

c*cksucker!

Yes, I'm a c*cksucker - so what?

You want to run battyman?
Then come run me!

Cos I suck d*ck!

What you have
to say about that?!

You want to burn c*cksucker?

Come burn me, I dare you!

I f*cking dare you
to come burn me!

I...

Grandy?

I want you to take
your f*ck friends.

Come out. I'm
just gonna grab...

Just go on. Move,
move, move. Just move.

Come out my house. Come out!

Gwaan!

Gwaan, before I call the police!

DOOR CLOSES

My things...

I need to get my things.

Find your things and f*ck off.

Now.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You're as rotten as your daddy.

And you're a loser.

Like all the rest of them.

So, go on.

Go.