01x02 - Air Ambulance

[bunniefuu]

[ambulance siren wailing]

- [Dispatcher] Four, five, one, Papa Kilo.

Hit and run at Crystal Palace Stadium.

Air ambulance on route.

[phone dings]

- Who's hollering at you
man? It's distracting.

No wonder Lewis Hamilton drives alone.

- Oh sorry, it's my Tinder.

- What, Tinder, you?

No, Wendy, Wendy, listen to me.

You don't need Tinder.

You're ancient.

You're not gonna find your
next husband on there.

- I'm not looking for my next husband.

Just someone to fulfil my sexual needs.

- Aye, yo!

No one needs to hear that from you, man.

You don't hear me talking

about all the girl I
want ride my ting off.

- I'd love to ride someone's ting off.

How hard can it be to
meet a half decent man

who's up for a giggle with big hands?

- Why the hands?

- I just like them.

My exes were tiny.

They were like a dolls hands.

- Flipping heck, man.

Listen, it's time to get professional.

[upbeat music]

- [Dispatcher] Update message.

Two casualties, both male,
one serious head wound.

[upbeat music]

[helicopter blades whirling]

- Whoop whoop, heads in the house.

We'll be working with
the big g*ns today Wendy,

so don't be weird.

All right team, let's go!

Okay, I said don't be weird.

[upbeat theme music]

- Hello, love, I'm Wendy.

Can you tell me where it hurts?

- Yo, yo, we need some help over here!

- My man's gone to the sunken place.

Ah sick, look, they're coming over.

Don't mess this up for me.

- Alright, what mess have
you Groundhog's made here?

- Excuse me, we've done nothing.

- Exactly.

No peripheral pulse.

- Carotid pulse still there.

- The sats heart rate dropping.

- Internal bleeding.

- This chap won't make
it into hospital, Phil.

We need to open him up right here, okay?

- Wait what, we gonna, just gonna,

do a proper roadside surgery?

- Yeah, why, can't ya' hack it?

- You're mad, Phil.

Hey, I've got this, bust him open, blood.

- You, get an IV in now.

- You don't need to be rude.

You'll catch more flies with
honey than vinegar you know.

- I'm not trying to catch flies.

I'm trying to save a patients life,

but maybe we should stop
here and have a chat

about manners instead while this man dies.

- Sick burn.

- Jump back, jump back to me.

He's loosing blood, we need to transfuse.

- Woooooo.

Hey Phil, that's a nice bag

of blood you got there, you know.

Proper red and that, bloody.

- What are you, a vampire?
[Maleek snarling]

- Nah, my man it's Blackula, you get me?

Aye Wendy, look at us
riffing, we're riffing.

You hearing this?

- I didn't hear any pleases or thank yous.

- Aw I'm sorry.

Thank you so much for doing
your job to the expected level.

- Aye, hand on heart Phillip.

I love the way you cuss out Wendy.

I just love it.

[upbeat music]

- Okay Kareshma, lucky day.

We need a new paramedic.

Jess was assaulted last week

and you'll take his place with Gary.

- Who's Gary?

- Nice to meet you Kareshma.

- Sorry, were you there the whole time?

- I guess I blend in with the furniture.

I've been here twenty years.

Seen a lot of fresh faces
like you come and go.

Put them through hell, ask Jo.

No, no, not really.

I try and keep the training fun.

- Oh I can skip all that, I'm self taught.

- We all have something
to learn, Kareshma.

Even me.

- If you're looking for feedback,

I can put some down in writing.

- That depends if you want
to get knocked on your arse.

- Okay, I think we should
get out of Jo's hair.

- Thank you.

No need to thank me.

No need to thank me, Kareshma.

[ambulance sirens blaring]

- I need you to squeeze the aorta.

- Who me?

Okay... umm

What do I do?

- Put your hand in, lift the heart.

Don't let go until I tell you.

- Don't let go.

- If you move an inch, this man is dead.

Stem them bleed, for now.

- Great job.

- Can I, can I let go?

- Yeah.

- Go, go, go, go, come on!

All right.

- What are you doing?

- What are you doing?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll probably.

I'll take the ambo.

I'll meet you there, yeah.

Godspeed rude boy.

[helicopter blades whirling]

- This must be how Beyonce feels. [squeals]

[upbeat music] [siren wailing]

- Hey. [motorcycle starts]

- Hi. [motorcycle stops]

- What's up?
- Yeah... Uh

- Yeah no I was just thinking

god its bloody sad news about Jess.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, just heard he lost an eye.

- Or might lose an eye.

- He might lose an eye.

We're thinking of certainly

- coming together and maybe
getting him something.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah

- Nice, nice.

What telescope?

- Yeah.
- No.

- I mean, it's just, it's scary
- Too soon. Yeah

to think just what's out there.

- Yeah, sure.

I mean you're out there on
your own, aren't you? Yeah... scared.

I mean, if you are scared,
I could find you a partner.

I could.

- You could.

- I could.

- You could.

- Yeah, I could be your partner.

I hadn't thought

of that Lawrence but no problem.

- I don't actually want a partner

because thanks for the offer.

- You offered.
- Umm but I'm uh...

- I'm actually fine.

- Yeah, me too.

- Just uh,
on my own at the moment. The headspace.

- I was joking,
- Ah, right. Okay.

Because I can't be your
partner, I'm your boss.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, okay. Got ya.

- Can we do this later because.

- This?

- Yeah.
- Okay yeah, sure.

- You're not paid to chat.

I'm very busy.

- If it's all right with you.
- Alright, well...

Let's let's get going, yeah.
- You stopped me.

[motorcycle revving]

- Yo, did you see when I
had the heart into my hand?

That's like [heart beating]

Then the helicopter just blew

through [helicopter blades whirling]

- Yes, I know. I was there.

Have you thought about
air ambulance, Maleek?

- Nope.

I'm not on it.

I am powered by these streets.

- Well, I'm sure the streets
wouldn't miss you that much.

Besides they've got me, Wicked Wendy.

- Big man, we're going to put that

in a list of things that
you never say nor do again.

The thing that people don't understand is

it's a close shop.

It's all about who you know.

- Well now you know Phil.

After all he said great job to you.

Even though we were all part of it.

- Look, I'm not on it innit.

- You just don't believe in yourself.

- Would someone who don't believe

in themself have themself
as their own screensaver.

- All I'm saying is I thought
I couldn't leave my marriage.

I knew there was more out there,
but I just didn't believe.

Now look at me.

I'm free, I'm single.

I'm eating Thai sweet chilli crisps.

- You eat crisps like
you aint got no teeth.

- I like to suck the flavour.

- Just crunch, bruv, bite it.

[ambulance siren wailing]
[upbeat music]

- He's gonna live.
[Maleek cheering]

- Nice work.

- Big Philly you did that,
you did it. [Chuckles]

Where you going there, blood?

Smell nice under that turtleneck still.

- Just used some antibac.

- Oh, the good sh*t. [Grunts]

- Phil.

- Ask him.

- Phil.

Sorry, yo look, can I, I just was seeing

if maybe I could pick
your brain about your job.

- You asking me how on a date, Maleek?

- What, no.

Do you know what?

I'm just gonna forget about-
- Ugh!

- sh*t, sorry, sorry about
that, I'm gonna go.

- I'm joking, let's do it.

Tomorrow why don't you come
to HQ and do a trial shift?

You can talk the talk, let's
see if you can fly the fly.

- I can fly the fly.

Trial shift, cool, cool.

- You should both come.

Think you can hack it?

- Oh, I'm not sure my little brain

could cope with the
important job that you do.

- Fair point.

- Fair point, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bounce

because I've got a big day.

A big day in a de sky's.

[Maleek cheering]

[bag crumpling]
[crisp crunching]

- Has anybody ever told
you you're a very rude man?

- Yeah, I get it a lot.

- Have you considered being
less of a... arrogant b*stard?

- If I'm rude on the job it's
because I have standards.

If someone as important as me
drop standards, people die.

But hands up.

I'm sorry if I was harsh earlier.

- You got very big hands, Phil.

[upbeat music]

[knocking on door]

- Yo Jo!

Heard you wanted to see me, boss.

- Yeah, heard you got a trial
shift with air ambulance and

- Look, before you say anything

you don't have to beg me to stay.

I'm going to be a big
loss, I know, I know.

You're probably going to
shed two tears and all that.

But look, I won't forget you.

I won't forget where I started.

- That's a good one.

No, I wanted to strongly
warn you against it.

I don't want to see your dreams crushed.

They only take the best.

- Jo, look.

I am not going to let
this opportunity fly by.

All right, bird g*ng.

[imitating pigeon cooing]

- Great news about the trial shift.

- We're rooting for 'ya.
- Yeah bro.

- You lot are are
hurting right now, innit?

Jealous!

- We actually got offered
the air ambulance.

- But they only had the one spot.

Can't lose my left arm!

- [Darrell] He's my heartbeat.

- You lot are proper jarring, bruv.

- It's the pressure,
don't worry, it's not you.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, have you dressed up for Phil later?

Aww... That's cute.

- That's not for you, it's not cute.

It's professional.

Tinder again?

You proper wanna get chopped up

and putting a spliff innit?

- It's not Tinder, it's Phil.

He's been texting me all morning.

- What, and you didn't
think to mention this?

Have you hollered at him back?

- No, I'm spooking him.

- What?

- I read about it online.

- It's called ghosting.

- Oh yeah, ghosting.

- And the only way you can do

that is if you've got
sex with someone, so.

- So?

[ghostly booing]

- Wait, Wendy, what you?

- I had sex with Phil last night.

- Oh no man.

Not allowed man.

- I did allow it.

[Maleek gagging]

- That's disgust.

Oh, you don't sleep

with someone in the same friendship group.

What if it doesn't work out now?

And I want to go to the countryside?

Who am I going to sh**t goose with?

That was my white friend to sh**t goose.

[upbeat music]

- Lozza.
- Hi.

- I've been thinking about what you said

about being sh*t scared
out on the streets.
- Um, didn't say that.

I was thinking I could
show you a few moves.

Yeah, nothing heavy just spar a bit.

Then go for a drink or whatever.

Unless I've knocked you
clean out of course.

- Well, sounds good.

Although I should warn
you I do study kickboxing.

Got into it after Karen died.

As a way to process the grief, you know

and I ended up getting really into it

and strangely quite
high up the belt ladder.

So just to let you know
what you're dealing with.

You step into my dojo sort of thing.

Yeah, Karen was a real fighter of course.

I mean she fought tooth and nail, you know

especially towards the
end, that was Karen I mean.

Ow!

f*ck!

- Didn't block that did you?

- Right, yeah, what was?

- Nipple cr*pple.
- Right, yeah, what.

- Got to raise your game.

- What's the matter with you?

- Scissor block, crotch block.

Too hard?

Wanna do me?

[upbeat music]

- Yo, phil.

How are you man?

Clear sky's today, no turbulence.

I can't even see you up there bruv.

- I just wanted to know if
Wendy's coming along later.

- Wendy is she coming? Ummm...

Nah, Wendy's, Wendy's at a funeral.

- Oh no, I hope she's okay.

- Yeah, sad times man.

- Why don't we postpone?

- What, no, no, no.

We don't need to postpone.

No, look Wendy's booked
up with a bag of funerals.

You know one of those families

that's just always dying.

- Fine, okay, well maybe we'll leave it.

- No, no, no. Don't be silly, man.

Look, do you know what Phil?

I'll get Wendy there.

Yeah, f*ck it, person's
already dead innit.

All right, son, bye!

- I don't want him to get the wrong idea.

It'd be awkward if I see him again.

- Why? Phil's into weird sh*t innit?

- No, I wish, it was just very ordinary.

He's got tight hamstrings

and had to stretch halfway through.

I didn't even finish because
he had to be up early.

His hands aren't even that big.

- Fine, just look, please, please?

We're supposed to be
partners, partners fam.

- Fine, but only because
you are begging me.
- [Chuckles]

Listen brother, I am not begging you.

- Begging me.
- No I'm not.

- Beg, beg, beg, beg.
- I am not begging.

d*ck head, begging.

Bad man don't beg.

You ain't finished,

there's bare blood here, blood.

- [Dispatcher] Four
four eight hotel uniform

we've got seventies
female, infected leg wound.

- So we've wrapped the
ankle from here to here.

Keeping up so far?

Don't be scared to ask questions.

- Oh, I do have a question actually, Gary.

Why the f*ck is this taking so long?

- Right, well, here come the fireworks.

I make a pleat with my thumb

and then I like to tie it
off in a little fish tail.

It's sort of my signature.

The nurse's at ANE spot it a mile off.

That's a Gary that is.

Up, let's see what you've learned.

- I would have been
quicker to amputate it.

[upbeat music]

[helicopter blades whirling]

- Are you all right?

Your ears are sweating.

I've never seen that before.

- I'm fine, I'm fine.

It's an allergic reaction
to the turtleneck.

- Okay Mr Stress Stress, you
need to believe in yourself.

Repeat after me, I believe I can fly.

- I'm not saying that.

- Because you're scared of failing.

- No, because R. Kelly's a sex offender.

- Just say it, I believe I can fly.

- I believe I can fly.

- I believe I can fly.

- This is so stupid.
- Come on, its not stupid.

- I believe I can fly.
- I can't hear you!

- I believe I can fly!

- I believe I can fly!
- I believe I can fly!

- What a warning.

Don't sing that song up
here, it's problematic.

- Aye aye Lawrence.

What are the chances?

- Uh well it's... it's
ANE so... pretty high.

- Really sorry about
earlier with the umm...

- Yeah.
- The... yeah.

- It's okay, just umm, don't try it again.

Or I'll have to take you down.
[laughs]

- Kickboxing, yeah.

- That's right.
- What belt you say you're on?

Pink, pink.

Go on then. - Go on then what?

- Show us some moves.

- What here?
- Yeah.

[ambulance siren blaring]
- Umm...

- All right. Uh, right.

[Sighs] - That it?

- c*ck, think you can match it?

- Not my style, mate, more
of a classic grappler.

- Buy you a pint?
- Yeah, okay, line up.

- Here you are.
- Okay.

- You ready?

[Jo thudding] [Jo crying]

- sh*t, you all right?

Receiving give me a minute.

- No, no, I'm fine.

Its just, just a graze.

- There's some, your heads bleeding.

- That's old blood

We're in ANE dummy, makes sense.

- Yeah but, you fell
really hard, you sure?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Jog on you melt.

- On route ETA two minutes.

- Later losses you owe me a pint.

[motorcycle revving]

Okay, blunt trauma to
the back of the skull.

High chance of concussion.

Losing consciousness.

Three, two, one, good luck lads.

[boisterous music]

- Great night last night.
- Yeah.

A real one off special night.

- [Maleek] Philly.

You went mad high.

- Let me show you something, just up here.

- Yo, yo, yo, do you know what.

It's cool you know, bruv.

We can just,

we can just chat about it
over there in the middle.

On the H.

- Wow!

The people look like ants.

- Yeah, like insignificant grubs.

And up here, you feel like a mighty eagle.

- It's a good job you're so humble

or it might go to your head.

- Woo, woo.

I've never seen anything like it, bruv.

- Maleek, you're not even looking.

- Woo! Aahh!!
This is, that is high.

That is high bruv.

- Got any questions about the gig, Maleek?

Hit me while I stretch the hammies.

- Yes, let's get my notes.

Ah! Sake I had them written down.

It's gone.

Okay, what is it that made the air?

What is air?

Okay, no,
because I suppose if. [Breathing heavy]

That wind.

If you flew the propeller,
you'd have a theme song?

- You all right, Maleek?

- Yes, fine.

[siren wailing]

- This is us, let's go.
- What? Um... [imitates walkie talkie sound]

It's an emergency?

You want me to come downstairs?

Now?

Emergency, emergency.

- What are you doing?

- I'm going downstairs.

- You have a dream, you're
here now, you can do this.

- Its too high, its too high.

- Come on!

- Okay!

Come on, Maleek.

- Come on, Maleek!

- Come on now, lets eat sky!

- All right, all right,
all right, I can do it.

- [Wendy] Get in!

- I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!

I can't do this, I can't do it!

- What are you doing?

Maleek, get back!

Maleek!

- I'll stay here, I'll
look after the stuff.

[upbeat music]

Oh thank you, god.

Thank you god for, for
keeping me on the ground.

[upbeat music]

[siren wailing]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
my girl, what are you doing?

- Sorry, Maleek.

I gave your locker to Kareshma.

I didn't know if you were coming back.

I thought you were leaving us.

- You can have my low down
locker, right over there.

- Oh yeah that might help
with the vertigo. [Laughs]

- With the vertigo. Ah!
- Ooh

- Ah! God's sake.

- If it makes you feel any better,

it wasn't that great up there.

Once the euphoria wears off.

- [Scoffs] Look I wouldn't want it anyway,
yeah?

Man's needed on these streets.

I'm a foot soldier.

Working in the air, working
in the air is hiding.

It's basically hiding,
what am I hiding for?

Anyway, did you get with fly boy again?

- No, catfished him once and for all.

Meow, glob glob.

- You don't know what
catfishing is do you?

- No.
- Grow up.

[upbeat music]

- Anthony, maybe you would
like to be a paramedic

like Maleek when you're older.

- This guy looks like some green pedo.

- Who thinks no one should play Jenga?

I do!

- We can look after Anthony.

When you're in with the
kid, you're in with the mum.

- What are you doing?

Coming to my house!

- I think we really traumatised him.

[man screaming]

[upbeat music]

♪ I feel so blue without you girl ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ That's why I'm down,
you been around now ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ I want you to stay, don't go away ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

[man grunting]

[gentle music]