Fool of the World and the Flying Ship, The (1991)

[bunniefuu]

In the magnificent winter palace
of his majesty Tsar Nicholas

emperor of all the russias

a grand ceremony was about to begin

There was a ceremony in the
palace every day of the year

because the Tsar Nicholas,
mightiest of the mighty

most feared among the feared

enjoyed ceremonies.

He enjoyed the glittering
robes and the sound of trumpets

He loved to see his subjects
bowing on the ground before him.

But what he liked most of all

was to be give rich and
extravagant presents

And he knew that today's present
would be very extravagant indeed.

For today a royal prince from a
far off kingdom had come to ask

if he could marry
the Tsar's daughter.

The princess Alexea

We present to the person
of your imperial majesty

the captain of the
Anatolian Royal Guard.

The commander of the
Anatolian Royal Household.

The crown prince of Anatolia.

Leader of the
Anatolian royal circus?

The prince has a magnificent
present for your majesty.

Let him approach the thrown.

Begin the ceremony.

Uh...

Oh mighty Tsar, emperor
of all the Russias

who's dominion extends...

Yes very good... Move to
the matter of importance.

Uh... The princess?

The present

Oh the present, yes.

Uh...

Oh...

Um...

Chamberlain?

Your majesty

His royal highness asks me to say

that if you will give him the hand
of the princess Alexea in marriage,

the reknowned craftsmen of Anatolia

will build for you the finest,
fasted ship in all the world.

A golden ship.

A ship like this one?

A present worthy of a
princess your majesty.

Yes.

Alexea come and see the... Alexea?

Yes father.

Come now. What do you say?

It's very beautiful. What can it do?

Do?

Why it will sail swiftly across
our lakes and seas!

Shouldn't the Tsar's
ship do something more?

More?

Yes.

What else can it do?

Um... It um... can do
nothing else your majesty.

Ha

Your majesty.

Let the crown prince know only what
you would have the ship perform

and it shall be done.

Very well.

I shall give the hand of the princess
Alexea in marriage only for a ship

that will, uh.. that will... uh...
A ship that will...

Fly

Fly?

A ship fly?

uh... fly!?

Like a bird

Fly. Yes that's good!

Fly!

A ship to fly in like a bird! Ha!

Let the command be sent forth

The Tsar will marry his daughter
Alexea to the man who will bring him

a ship that will fly.

But your majesty

Uh... bu... But your majesty!

Silence!

The mighty Tsar has spoken.

The mighty Tsar had spoken.

And his words went out
into corners of his empire

that he had never visited

And into lands so distant, that their
very existence was unknown to him.

But all who lived there knew well enough

that they were the subjects
of the Tsar Nicholas

and that their duty
was to do his bidding.

Wherever the Tsar's
commmand was heard

There were men and women
who saw their opportunity to serve him.

Although there were others

who saw only the opportunity for
idleness and a life of riches.

Sergey!

Look here!

It's gold.

Quick

Pull them out before somebody comes.

Here

Give them to me.

They must be worth... 20 rubles!

We'll keep them hidden.

Don't tell anybody eh?

Wh... What is it?

Uh

The Tsar demands a...

Flying ship!

This is it Boris!

This is what we've been waiting for!

But, um...

How can we make a ship fly?

Oh we won't make a ship fly.

But we will get our hands
on that money at last.

Listen to me.

This is what we're going to do.

Thank you bird

It's very kind of you
to come and sing to me.

I'm sorry I have no crumbs for you,

but my brothers have
been to the village

Perhaps they will bring me a
piece of bread for my lunch

And you can share it with me

Oh I'm glad you've come at last

This old saw is hard
work for one person

Did you have a nice
time in the... village?

So you see...

Dear father and mother

Although it will
grieve us to leave you

This is our great chance

Yeah our chance to make a fortune!

And bring it back here to you

As soon as we've built the
flying ship for Tsar Nicholas...

Uh... we just need some
money to get started

And um... some food and
drink for our journey.

Yeah...

To serve the Tsar Nicholas

As I once served in
his majesty's army

is a nobel and honorable thing.

But...

eh?

will you not take
your brother Pyotr?

Oh...

He's too much of a fool father.

He would disgrace us.

Just now in the forest we saw
him in conversation with a bird!

yeah

And you'll need him
here when we are gone.

Eh... It may be so.

Well.

You have our blessing.

Your brothers are going on
a great adventure Pyotr.

Hmmm

There is all I have my sons

Except for this.

Your brother's share.

Oh they can have my
share too father.

Here.

You'll need it.

And you'll soon be back
with more won't you.

Oh yes. We'll soon
be back with more.

I served the Tsar with this g*n.

Take it my boys.

And let it take care of you.

They say the Tsar's commands are
fixed with golden nails you know.

You should go and look
where you found it!

Golden nails indeed.

You're the fool of
the world you are.

You see what you've done
Alexea by your foolish demand.

Now you will never be married.

All because you wished
for this impossible ship!

As a wedding gift.

Father I don't want any ship...

What?

I was trying to make it
difficult don't you see?

I don't want to be
married to someone

just because he brings
you the best present

It is the custom!

But at least let me somebody
and love him first

Please

No Alexea!

My command has been given

You may marry only the man
who brings me a flying ship.

Even if I can't love him?

Even if he's the

The crown prince of Anatolia?

Even so.

A man with such a gift will
be a worthy bridegroom.

But I fear there is no such
man in all the Russias.

If only your brothers
would come back.

Don't worry mother.

I expect they're in
the Tsar's palace now

in fine clothes with purses
of gold to bring back to us.

Do you think so?

Oh yes.

They'll soon be here.

But Boris and Sergey were
not in the Tsar's palace.

They had spent all there
money on food and wine

and were still only a
few miles from home.

If they could see us now eh Boris?

Better than black bread and soup eh?

Yeah.

Eh?

What do you want? Eh?

Get on away!

Yeah.

Masters I'm hungry...

Can you spare a little for me?

Ah get your own food!

This is ours!

Go on. Out!

Ah...

Oh...

Oh. Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

No soup for me today. Thanks mother.

Suppose they've been eaten by wolves

No father.

They have your g*n with them.

Remember?

Ah yes.

My good'ole g*n will
look after them.

But Sergey and Boris had
not looked after the g*n.

It had gone to pay
for their gambling.

And the golden nails had gone
to buy rich food and fine wine.

Soon the brothers were left with
nothing except their clothes.

And before long they would
have to sell those too.

Don't worry I'll find them.

And I'll find us some food too

You'll see.

Now you be careful
not to lose your way.

Come back to us safely son.

As soon as you can.

We'll all come back together

in the flying ship!

The wind blew cold and fiercly

as Pyotr set off on his search.

For two whole days and nights

he walked with little rest

until he came to where the forest was
suddenly calm and strangely quiet.

Although Pyotr did not know it,

this was the way his
brothers had passed.

And there in his path lay the
fallen feathers of the snow bird.

Hmmm.

Hello bird

How are you today

h*, are these your feathers?

I'm sorry, but I don't know
how to give them back to you.

I'll leave them here anyway.

Good day master.

Good day sir.

Have you journeyed far.

h* very far master. Very far.

Would you like some food?

It's not much I'm afraid, but
you're welcome to share it.

First let me guess
what's in your bag.

h* h* h*... Not much?

I can feel a good
fat chicken in here.

And two big round apples.

And a loaf of bread.

And a flask of beer.

I wish you could but
all I've got is uh....

Oh...

wha?

ah ha ha

Oh h* h* my parents
are so good to me!

They must have put
them in as a surprise.

But I wonder where
they got them from.

Yes I wonder.

There's something else in your bag?

Mmmm, its about the flying ship.

Mmmm?

My brothers went in search of it
and now I'm looking for them.

Oh they came this way.

You may have seen them.

Fine handsome fellows.

I expect they shared
their food with you too.

Mmmm I've seen no one
of that description.

What I'd really like is to
find a flying ship myself.

And marry the princess and be rich?

h* h*, I wouldn't mind that, but
it would help me find my brothers.

And then we could all get
back to mother and father.

They've been very worried.

Well when you find your
flying ship, you know

You must remember one thing always.

No. What's that?

The captain of the flying
ship must never ever

refuse to let someone ride in it

If they ask him.

No matter who they may be

I'll remember that sir.

Do you think I really might
find a flying ship then?

Oh yes.

Yes I think you really might.

h*?

I don't....

Ah ha ha ha!

You up there!

Boy!

Room for me?

Never ever refuse to
let someone ride in it

No matter who they may be

You could've hit me you know.

What?

Oh no, shot at the mast. Never miss.

sharpsh**ter's the name

Problem is nothing
to sh**t around here.

Well there are wolves
and wild bears.

Too easy. Need something hard.

Something you couldn't see.

I'd hit it.

Where we going? See the Tsar?

I hope so. The ship
seems to go by itself.

Thought as much. Said
to myself "flying ship?

off to the Tsar. Get a
ride. See Tsar Nicholas.

He'd have something to
sh**t at. I'll be bound."

Off we go then!

But the sharpsh**ter

was not the only person who
wanted to ride on the flying ship.

They had not flown far
when they saw below them

a farmer with a
bulging sack of straw

waving his pitchfork and shouting.

Oh...

Your straw!

It's very cold.

Ah! It 'tis cold is that straw.

Icy cold that is.

That straw is the most rarest
straw in all the world.

It's what grows up on the glass
ears of Siberia is that straw. Say.

Oh...

I's take'n that straw to sell
to his majesty the Tsar Nicholas

Ha ha. He'll be amazed when
he sees that straw.

Let's be off then.

The ship soared into
the air once more.

And flew on and on over the forests
and fields of the vast country.

But soon...

There were more travelers
to join the party.

Come onboard!

Oh...

I'll just untie your leg for you.

Oh you mustn't do that.

It's the only thing that
slows me down you see?

Good afternoon gentleman.

Yes unless I tie my leg,
you'll simply never catch me I'm afraid.

I run so fast they call
me lightning you know. Heh.

Can't stop.

Oh well. The Tsar will have work
for my boundless energy. I'm sure.

Let me know when we arrive.

Excuse me...

Yes?

I heard you talking yesterday
about going to the Tsar.

and I wondered whether I
might come with you.

Yesterday?

We were a hundred
miles away yesterday.

Yes.

Well I do have quite good ears.

Oh

They can hear things
other people can't.

Really.

Um... Well...

Have a seat!

Your welcome!

Hmph! Ah.

Pyotr was not sure wether to believe
all the tales people told him.

Though he didn't really mind
whether or not they were true.

He knew that he had to give a ride
in the ship to everyone who asked.

Nevertheless, he was quite
glad to meet two travelers

who had no claim to
anything special at all.

The forester with
his bundle of sticks.

And his wife with her
overloaded basket

climbed onboard with all the rest.

And though the forester's wife
took up the space of three people

She was so jolly and so happy

to share her basket of cakes
and pies with everyone,

except for lightning who
was still fast asleep,

that nobody minded.

And soon they were so cheerful

and so sure of themselves as they
sailed along among the clouds

and over the treetops

that they all began to sing...

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar.

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar.

Our delightful litt'l band
will be famous in the land

our friends will be amazed
to see how very grand we are.

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar.

We're off to serve
his majesty the Tsar.

We're off to serve
his majesty the Tsar.

I'll defend him with my bow.

And I'll tell him all I know.

It's so that we can grow what
he desires from lands afar.

We're the servants of
his majesty the Tsar.

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar.

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar.

He will greet us joyfully

And invite us all to tea!

Which we'll drink in diamond
goblets by a golden samovar

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar.

We're off to tea

We're off to tea

We're off to see

We're off to see

his majesty, his majesty the Tsar

His majesty, his majesty the Tsar

Shhh...

Quiet.

Listen.

I can hear trumpets.

And the sound of soldiers marching.

I think it's the palace.

Where?

There!

Look!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

We're off to see, we're off to see

We're off to see, we're off to see

his majesty, his majesty the Tsar

his majesty, his majesty the Tsar

Huh...?

h* on you men!

Sir!

Where are we now huh?

We're there...

And now I wish we weren't.

Father!

There's a flying ship!

A real one!

It's landed in the court yard.

It has been observed
your royal highness.

His majesty has commanded me to
welcome our distinguished visitors.

I, I couldn't really
see the people in it.

You will see them soon
enough my dear Alexea.

We shall have a great
banquet in their honor.

It's the mighty Tsar himself!

Oh it's Tsar Nicholas!

You may rise.

Where is your master.

Heh it's Pyotr what's in
charge here your majesty.

I have the honor to be
the humble chamberlain

to his majesty Tsar Nicholas.

He wishes to give
audience to your master.

Pyotr?

You Are master here?

What are you?

A woodcutter my lord.

And you?

Oh a poor farmer me lord. Come
to bring me straw to the Tsar.

He has no need of straw.

You.

Marksman my lord.

Come with my bow. Serve the Tsar

He has bowman enough.

You

I am but a forester my lord.

But I have saplings here
that will grow so fast

his majesty will marvel at it.

And my wife here...

Silence!

Where did you steal this ship?

My lord it's our ship.
Or at least it... uh.

Well. Why have you not brought
these royal personages before us?

Your majesty.

I have to inform you, with regret,
that the ship is full of peasants.

Peasants?

Peasants.

With straw and sticks and
all manner of ugly things.

Oh bring them in father. Please!

They might be princes in disuise...

May I speak privately
to you your majesty?

As you see your majesty...

It is a fine vessel.

Hmmm.

Give them gold for it and
send them on their way.

But...

Since they have stolen it...

Yes?

And since they say they have
come to serve your majesty...

Well?

You could set them a task.

What task?

A task so difficult, they
could not perform it.

Go on...

And then, as is the custom,
they would be banished...

Or beheaded.

And the ship would be forfeit to me!

Precisely your majesty.

An excellent idea.

I, I shall leave you
to think of the task.

You, you, you will make it very hard hmmm?

Excessively, your majesty.

Lord chamberlain.

What were you talking
about with my father?

Nothing important your highness.

We were simply discussing
arrangements... for the banquet.

Task? What task?

He says that a great banquet is
going to be spread out for us

here in the courtyard.

Told you sir

Good good. Splendid

Only, if we don't eat up every
scrap, and leave every plate clean...

The task won't be complete.

and we'll all be banished.

I'm not feeling very hungry.

I wish I hadn't eaten that cake.

I don't think it matters
wheter we're hungry or not.

We'll never finish all that.

Oh good Lord we thank thee for
what thou has spread before us,

however little these
poor morsels be.

Huh?

Oh lovely!

Hmm?

Huh?

Oh heh heh.

Well that's that ha ha ha.

It was some kind of
trick your majesty.

I will set them another task

They say the boy who
leads them is a fool.

See he doesn't make a
fool of you lord chamberlain.

Honored guests.

The mighty Tsar applauds
your completion of his task

and commands you to an audience.

But first...

Since you have traveled
far and will uh...

will wish to prepare your persons
for entry to his majesty's court

I shall place at your disposal
the imperial bathing house.

Your guards will escort
you there tonight.

h* h* h*... Well I must say a
bath will be most welcome. Hmmm

Ah... That does make ya
a bit dusty does that fly'n.

Why must we wait until tonight?

They have to stoke up the fires
first to make the water hot.

So hot that we can't bear it.

What?

I can hear him.

The chamberlain.

He's ordering the furnaceman
to stoke up the fires.

Well

He's saying that we'll
all be trapped inside...

and boiled alive

Like lobsters!

You understand what you have to do?

The furnacemen were not happy at the
orders the chamberlain had given.

They knew that Pyotr and his friends

had done nothing to
deserve such cruelty.

But they were too
frightened to disobey.

And soon the flames were leaping and
crackling under the darkening sky.

The chamberlain looked down
grimly from his window.

Now we'll see who are the fools.

But neither he nor the
guards had noticed

that in the proud little
party under escort

there were only 6 people when
there should have been seven.

The ice cold straw almost
put out the fire completely

and the furnacemen had
to hurry for more logs.

By the time the old farmer had used
the last of his precious straw,

the furnacemen were too
exhausted to continue.

But Pyotr and his friends were still
enjoying a warm and luxurious bath.

... his majesty the Tsar!

We're off to see his
majesty the Tsar!

So we'll all enjoy a scrub!

In his private royal tub!

For the chamberlain has made
it plain we can't go as we are

to the presence of
his majesty the Tsar.

I say!

It's getting rather cold in here.
Could you chaps open the doors? Eh?

You were going to sell the
straw to the Tsar weren't you?

I'm sorry.

h*, plenty more where that
come from. Don't you fret.

Ha I wish I coulda seen that
there chamberlain's face.

Ha ha ha

Well friends, thanks
to this farmer here,

we've shown ourselves as good
as any of the Tsar's men.

Splendid

Yes! Quite right!

And now, if he's
truly the mighty Tsar

He's nothing to fear from us and
he'll welcome us into his service.

But whatever happens,
we'll stand firm together.

Here here!

Oh

Hello miss!

Hello

It's a beautiful ship.

Could I come see?

Well...

Yes!

Can you make it fly?

I wish I could.

It only seems to fly
when it wants to.

But it is your ship.

Well... Yes. It is.

But...

Look...

If you'd like to sit down,

I'll tell you what happened.

Huh?

What's your name?

Pyotr...

I'm a woodcutter.

What's yours?

It's Alexea...

I'm... I'm the princess's serving maid.

The princess...

I wish I'd never heard of her.

What? Well don't you want to marry her.

Not really

I just want to find my brothers and
go home to my mother and father.

They'll be so unhappy.

Anyway, I'm just the
fool of the world.

I wouldn't be suited to
the mighty Tsar's daughter.

I ought to go.

Thank you.

Will you come again?

I'll try.

But as the princess skipped
back into the palace,

The lord chamberlain was coming
to tell Pyotr and his friends

of the last impossible
task he had set them.

And this time, it
really was impossible.

A thousand miles away...

across the grasslands and mountains
and trackless wastes of Russia

There lay a magic
lake of silver water.

Pyotr's task was to fill
a bottle with this water,

bring it back to the palace

and place it in the
hands of the Tsar.

Then, said the lord Chamberlain,
he would be able to marry the princess.

If he failed, the ship
would belong to the Tsar

and they would all be beheaded.

But there was a condition.

The water had to be delivered by
the last stroke of 12'oclock noon.

And it was five
minutes to 12 already.

Oh please fly ship!

Please

come on ship!

come on get up there

fly don't you see?

fly why don't ya? come on

it's no use...

Oh. Are we off again? uh Jolly good!

Should be. Ship won't go.

New task.

Go Lake Volskaya

Fetch water

don't fetch it in five
minutes... heads *click* off.

Oh! Right.

Give me the bottle.

I told you I could run.

But lightning!

Untie me. Come on.

Yes lovely places Lake Volskaya.

My family used to go there in
the Summer when I was a boy.

I remember it well.

Father

I have something to tell you.

I've met the man I want to marry.

What? How?

It's just as you commanded.

He has brought you a flying ship
and now I want to marry him.

His name's Pyotr.

You cannot marry him Alexea.

Where is his gold? Where's his army?

A woodcutter? His parents probably
come from some hut in the forest.

They do! and I don't care.

They're good and kind people.

Good and kind they may
be, but they are peasants!

And you shall not marry him.

You are a princess.

Besides...

He has another task.

Oh no.

What?

He is to fetch me some
water from Lake Volskaya...

In five minutes.

But he'll never do that.

No your highness.

It appears he will not.

He must be here soon.

Went so fast. should be here now.

Quiet. I can here something.

Can you hear him coming?

No.

I can hear...

I can hear...

A sound.

Yes.

I can hear him snoring.

He's fell asleep again
is what he's done.

We've got to wake him up!

sharpsh**ter! If we can find him,
could you sh**t an arrow to wake him?

Ah

You listen. I sh**t.

Now then. Listen for'em!

Show me where!

I can hear him snoring...

in...

That direction.

And he's...

He's by the lakeside, I
can hear the water lapping.

He must be under a tree because I
can hear the bees buzzing in it.

An apple tree. Because I can hear
the munching of caterpillars.

Can you see him?

Can you see him?

Hmmm

Got him!

Don't sh**t him!

Ha!

Huh?

Pyotr, don't walk! Run!

Go on. Run!

Your majesty.

We have performed all the
tasks you have set us.

Now we ask you to take
the ship, but let us go.

I want to see my
parents and my brothers.

My friends who came here to
serve you but were rejected

also want to go back to their homes.

As for the princess,

I could not marry the daughter of
so fierce and terrible a father.

I would rather wish to marry
someone simple and kind.

Like her serving maid.

Serving maid?

What serving maid?

That girl there.

We talked together.

Serving maid indeed. That is my
daughter the Princess Alexea.

And you will never
have her as your wife.

Ah how dare you speak
so to the mighty Tsar.

To, to, to the dungeons with him.

No!

No no please!

What have you done with Pyotr?

You can forget about
that foolish boy.

No go on! Be off with you.

And don't come back.

Tell your master the Tsar Nicholas

that tomorrow we come at the head
of an army mightier than his own

to rescue our friend Pyotr.

Let him look to his defenses.

That was a brave
thing to say forester.

But how can we raise an army.

Friends.

I told you about this bundle of
saplings I brought for the Tsar.

He had no need of them.

but no tree will grow faster
anywhere in the world.

Tonight let's plant them.

The friends did as they were asked.

and began to plant the saplings
one by one into the soft snow.

Although they could not understand
how trees would help them

when they needed soldiers.

Hmm.

Oh!

Huh?

Your majesty. Their
leaders are at our gates.

What are their demands?

First demand: release Pyotr

Second demand: marry the princess

Third demand ... uh

Third demand?

Our third demand your majesty is
that we all should remain here

to serve you

and Prince Pyotr and
Princess Alexea. Eh?

With all the many powers we possess.

What should I say?

I should say yes.

And so Pyotr and
Alexea were married.

And Pyotr was reunited
with his parents

And even Boris and Sergey,

who had come home and
asked forgiveness,

joined the grand ball
that followed the wedding

and danced with the prettiest
ladies of Tsar Nicholas' court.

As for the Lord Chamberlain...

He had to learn that the life
of a woodcutter was a hard one.

Uh Pyotr

Owe!

Prince Pyotr,

what's gonna happen to
your flying ship now eh?

Uh, your highness?

Oh. The ship.

I'd quite forgotten about it.

Well. It belongs to the Tsar now.

I have my Alexea.

He has his ship.

Yes of course!

It's my ship now1

I shall go for a ride in it.

Immediately.

I think you may be too late father.

Too late?

Farewell young prince!

Farewell!