Kazaam (1996)

[bunniefuu]

Hey, welcome back, Max.

- Thought you'd get away from us, huh?

- Let go of me!

Don't tell me this is

nothing about lunch money.

It's a math problem.

If we took all the dough...

from a dork on the floor,

would it be enough?

Two dollars and seventy cents?

We're gonna be living large on this.

- If you guys want a real score...

- Yeah?

It's the wholesale mart.

Fifth and Broadway.

Rolexes, gold chains,

who knows what.

Third aisle,

locker 882, upstairs.

And all you need is...

this.

- We'll be in touch.

- Later... loser.

- Come on, man. Come on, man.

- What a wuss!

Another alien abduction,

Maxwell?

They wanted my optic lobes,

but they didn't get a thing.

- The key to the supply closet, Maxwell.

- The key?

To the supply closet.

Oh, I left it in the door,

Mrs. Duke.

And you also left us without enough

time to hear your little presentation.

But I want to hear it anyway,

right here after school!

- I'm home!

- Don't tell me.

You were kidnapped by gypsies

and sold to the circus.

Hey, can I help it if Mrs. Duke is really

a very angry man trapped in a woman's body?

Oh, I see. Another

homework malfunction.

And, gosh,

what a surprise, detention.

But, you know,

the only good news is...

you weren't here...

when we were robbed.

What kind of maniac would steal

the motor to our Hoover?

You were supposed to come home

today and help me clean up, remember?

- It's just Travis.

- What is that supposed to mean?

You told me, men are like buses.

There's always another one.

I never said...

You know that this is the only day

that I don't work a double shift...

and I really wanted the

house to look nice for Travis.

Mom, it's not like

he lives here or anything.

Your feet?

What is this?

What is this? Huh? What have

you got here, dreadlocks?

No, wait, look.

It's a tiny, living creature.

- Who put a squirrel in your shorts?

- Max...

- try and look like this guy.

- I hate that picture.

Max, we have to talk.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey. We're in here.

Looking good, Max.

You're not looking

so bad either.

Max, you ever hear

of a guy named Buster Keaton?

- Isn't he some dead black-and-white guy?

- Apparently.

- But he's a very funny dead guy.

- You tell him?- Tell me what?

Hello?

Max, um...

Travis and I...

want to get engaged.

I thought he was just

coming over for ribs.

We wanted to wait 'til all

of the papers were signed.

- "Papers"?

- The divorce papers.

There were some things

left unsigned by your father.

My father? But I thought

you didn't know where he was.

- I didn't.

- Listen, Max...

what matters now is you and your

mom can move on with your lives.

- That's why we want to get engaged.

- Wait, what about me?

- Why didn't you ask me?

- Max...

What about me?

Max.

Well...

now he knows.

Hey, I want to talk to you!

Get him! Come on, man! Come on!

Come on!

Get over here, man!

- Yeah, go get him!

- Watch it!

Hey, come here,

you little con artist!

There are no gold watches,

no gold necklaces!

We'll get ya!

We got him now!

Understand... you're messing

with my little brother.

Don't tell me. They couldn't

fit the key in the lock?

- There were no lockers.

- And your map was crap.

So there's only one place

this thing's gonna fit.

And it ain't Mrs. Duke's supply closet.

Come on!

Where you going?

Hey, what are you kids

doing in there?

Get outta there!

Where'd he go?

- Go!

- I'm going around!

Go around!

Let's go!

Let's get him, boys!

Oh, no!

I'm dead. I'm dead.

Come on.

We got him now.

How do I shut this thing off?

- Hi.

- You little turd!

You think

you got skills?

Can we just pretend

this never happened?

Who... dare to wake me?

Ain't gonna make this a mystery.

Don't wanna do time

on your wishes three.

Watch it, boy!

You don't want to dis me!

Or I'll dish out my misery.

Now, who's that sorry wanna-be

that disturbed my z's?

Let's get outta here!

Go on! Go, go!

Get out of my way!

If you want to be number one,

I'm sorry, boy, that's been done!

But if you got the itches

for a sack of riches...

don't matter how avaricious...

I'm the man that

could grant your wishes!

Hey, don't turn

your butt on me!

I'm the man of the ages,

straight out of the pages!

Hang on! I'm contagious,

outrageous, spontaneous!

You can't contain this!

I am Kazaam!

- I'm really happy for you.

- Where do you think you're going?

Make your three wishes, and I'm out of your

face, back in my box and out of this place.

Listen, Mr. Psychopathic

Dork in the Basement...

I don't think

you're ordering anybody!

Do you realize who I am?

I'm your genie!

In that case, I wish I was as

big as you, but not so stupid.

That's not a wish!

That's an insult!

Besides, I don't do those kind

of wishes. I do material wishes.

See? Things. Stuff.

You gotta want something, kid.

Listen, you want to pull the wool over

someone's eyes? Go get a sheep, okay?

Listen, it's only 'cause this world

really, really gives me tension...

that I'm gonna do something

I don't ordinarily do.

I'm going to beg.

- Now, make a wish. Please?

- Okay.

All right, okay.

Give me a car.

BlackJaguar-XKE.

Yes! Yes, yes!

- Jaguar? Black?

- XKE.

Jaguar, black.

Better stand back.

I am Kazaam!

- Jaguar, black, right?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Kazaam!

Okay, well, you just stay

here. I'm gonna go now.

Hey, Kazoo?

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

- Kazoo?

- Oh, Kazoo.

- Say nighty-night.

- Kazoo. Kazoo.

- Come on, you gotta eat.

- No, I'm not...

- Please. Look, it's delicious.

- No, I'm really... Travis, no.

It's very easy.

Come on.

Please. Just hold them

between your fingers like this.

- Travis, I know...

- Squeezea little.

- He's in the house.

- Max, honey, is that you? Max?

Hey, hey... Honey, what

happened to your face?

- I'm okay, all right?

- Who did this to you?

- Max, what happened to your...

- Just leave me alone!

Max.

- I'll handle it.

- No, I really think I should.

Please.

Max?

Max, can I come in?

Wow. That's really

great. You finished it.

Hey, you're not building a

neutron b*mb over here, are you?

- That could be a little dangerous.

- Don't touch that.

You okay?

You want to tell me

what happened?

You don't like me

very much, do you?

Listen, Max, I don't intend to

take the place of your father.

It's just that I love your mom,

and I want to marry her.

I'd like us to be friends.

Anytime you want to talk...

I'll be here.

Mom?

"Tuna. Home at 3:00."

Sure.

"Nicholas Matteo."

What the...

- Don't you wish you had one of these?

- How did you...

What... Are you like

really lonely or something?

Hey. Hey, hold your camels.

I've been doing this genie

stuff for about 5,000 years.

- It's not all it's cracked up to be.

- I'm sure.

But I'll tell you what. Why don't

we start off with something small...

and work our way up

to something big?

But let's just

get it done.

All right?- Why do I get the

feeling you'll never go away?

Wow.

You live here?

Yeah, I built it

myself too.

Hey, kid!

We're closed!

What's the matter with you?

Can't you read the sign? Beat it!

Beat it!

You want me to turn him into

a dog or a cat or something?

Your wishes are just

so spectacular...

I don't know if I could

bear another one right now.

Oh, back there?

Your first wish? That kind of

thing could happen to any genie.

- I was just a little bit rusty.

- You know...

I bet they really miss you and the

nice building with the padded walls.

Check, check. One.

- This is red with check one, two.

- Check one.

Hey, Julie, I need

some more finishing nails!

Yo, yo, yo. Check one, two.

Bottom, bottom.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

I'd like to speak to Mr. Matteo.

Who?

Your mother.

I said I wanted the bar stocked

before the sound check!

How much?

- Hello.

- Will you hurry up over there?

- Who am I talking to?

- Paul Shea, line three.

Mr. Shea, Nick Matteo.

How you doing?

Hey, you're gonna have

to help me out, Mr. Shea.

Look, what I'm saying is

you're gonna have...

the best seat in the house set

aside especially for you tonight.

We'll take good care of you, Paul.

Uh-huh. Yeah, I'll see you tonight.

Cindi, if I wanted pressed turkey,

I would have run over myself.

- Anybody got any gum?

- I do.

- Who are you?

- I'm... Max.

Theo, you call a messenger?

- No, I didn't call anybody.

- Psst.

Try downstairs, kid.

Hey, hey, I like it! I'm serious! This

whole, you know, seen-the-street thing.

Tell me, you booked in or you just

come here to scare the hell out of us?

Thank you.

So, tough guy,

who was that loser?

That was my father.

Hey-dee, hi-dee-h*.

Was that guy

really your father?

Acted like he didn't

even know you.

Look, he hasn't seen me

in a long time.

I was two, okay?

- Where did he go?

- Away.

That's a long time away.

I mean, it's not two or three

thousand years, but that's a long time.

Well, he's back now,

all right?

- And things are gonna be different.

- Cool.

So how come you didn't

tell him who you were?

- What do you care?

- Who says I did?

- Why don't you just leave me alone?

- Is that a wish?

Is that all you care about?

Look, you little fart...

you called me

into this mess of a world.

- I didn't call anybody.

- You popped the box, so make a wish!

Wish for a castle,

a fancy chariot!

I don't care what you do.

I gotta obey the rules.

I can't show my magic

to anybody but you...

and I can't get back into my box

until you make your three wishes.

Now, deal with it!

- Deal with this!

- Hey!

My turn.

What I gotta do, kid?

Let's go!

You're on my turf now!

You'll be sorry!

Come back here!

Oh, Max.

- Oh, no!

- Remember me? Make your three wishes.

I wish you'd go away!

Leave me alone!

- I'm gonna kick your butt!

- Dream on, loser!

No way I'm losing

this race, buddy.

Kazaam!

I'm back! Take a break, kid.

You're gonna need it for this.

Don't get all hysterical.

Say thank you

for your miracle.

- You are a genie!

- What's the matter? Your tongue is broken?

At a time like this,

you should be stokin'.

You know the rules,

now comply.

Kazaam,

he got unlimited supply!

You'll give me anything?

Come on, boy,

you're not gonna die.

Open your eyes.

Don't ask why.

Just give it a try.

Then, then,

I wish I had junk food...

- from here to the sky.

- Why not? Higher than high.

Then you got junk food

from here to the sky!

I am Kazaam!

That's it?

A happy meal?

Oh, great.

I'm outta here!

Look out!

So... where's

the hot chocolate?

Two more. Make this a

night you'll never forget.

Wait a second.

You're not telling me

that was a wish?

Like the main man did

with the loaves and the fish.

No, no, no. And stop rhyming!

I wish...

I just wish my mom and dad

would fall back in love.

Love? Kid, I told you,

Kazaam don't do ethereal.

"Ethereal"?- Yeah. Love, hope,

talking to God, raising the dead.

Ethereal. But I am Mr. Material,

and my stuff ain't too shabby.

Three-story mansion, a sack of gold,

a whole land of milk and honey...

if that's still in.

How long do I have

to come up with the wishes?

Now would be highly advisable.

- Come on, let's go.

- But I can wait, can't I?

So... until I make

those last two wishes...

I own you, don't I?

Technically.

Welcome to my life.

And here's a tip:

Lose the pointy shoes.

- I'm hungry.

- I'm not.

- It's lunchtime.

- Not according to my watch.

Hey, my Fossil watch!

How did that happen?

What?

Look, Godzilla,

I wish you'd just...

- Wish I'd just what?

- Is that a wish?

Let me make this perfectly

clear. Next time you do that...

I'm donating your brain

to science, okay?

Look, all you gotta do...

is make your last

two wishes...

Mr. Mohammed Ali...

- and I'm outta here.

- Sure.

All right! All right,

that's it! Let's go!

Come on! Let's go right now! Come on!

Your whole way of thinking

really gives me tension, kid.

The name isn't "kid."

It's Max.

And another thing:

You're gonna do whatever I want.

And then, only then, will I

make my wish. Do you understand?

Good.

This whole "I-gotta-get-

the-guts-to-talk-to-dad"...

- isn't gonna take years, is it?

- Bite me.

I'm really serious about

this getting something to eat.

It feels like

I'm getting shorter.

Stay here and try not

to hurt yourself!

Now this puts

the boom in box.

- B.J.!

- Hey, B.J.! Line two!

All right.

This isn't a toy store.

Unless...

you want to play...

- my game.

- Impressive.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Da Brat!

How are you?

What's up?

We're gonna make the hottest live

recording anyone's ever heard!

Yeah! How you doin'?

Spanky, come over here.

I want you to meet someone.

- I want you to meet my bodyguard, Spanky.

- Yeah, yeah. Bodyguard?

What's up? He kind of

small, don't you think?

I don't need much protection.

- We'll see - Mr. Matteo?

- About that. - Get off me!

Mr. Matteo, I found this kid

wandering around backstage.

You? What are you doing

here? What's your name?

Max.

- Who let this kid in here?

- What's this, an amusement park?

Well, Mack,

the tour is over.

It's not Mack.

It's Max.

Maxwell.

- Okay, Maxwell.

- Connor.

Maxwell Connor.

You're my son.

Hey, everybody, quiet down,

quiet down! Check this out!

This is my boy,

Maxwell Matteo.

- I want you to meet everybody.

- This is Cindi.- Hi, Max.

- And this is Frankie over here.

- Hey.

And that's Theo over there.

And you know who this is.

- What's up, little Max?

- Come over here.

And this amazing wonder

is Asia Moon. Son of a g*n.

I can't believe it! Look how

big you got! This is my son.

- Champagne?

- What, are you stupid? He's a kid.

Get that outta here. Hey,

don't we have some pizza comin'?

You like pizza, kid? Come over here.

I want you to check something out.

You like music? Come here. Sit

down, sit down. Listen to this.

So what do you think?

Is this place smokin' or what?

- How old are you?

- Twelve.

Where the hell's the pizza?

Three large, two medium. Pizza

'Zaam's here to bust the tedium.

You know him?

- What?

- Maybe a football or a basketball?

I don't think rewarding him

is a very good idea right now.

It's not to reward him.

- Hi, guys.

- It's to straighten him out.

Where have you been, hmm? Not

at school. You are grounded!

- I've really had it this time, Max.

- Hold it, hold it.

- Two days you have not been...

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Alice.

- What?

- Why don't we sit down and talk?

- Because I am not finished.

- I'm a little busy.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

One second, Mr. Connor.

You know, we are going to start

changing the way things work around here.

From now on, you're gonna come home from

school, and you're gonna start doing chores.

- "Chores"?

- Yes, chores.

What do you mean, chores? Milk the

cows, feed chickens? I don't get it.

- Max, this is exactly the thing...

- All right, all right.

- That is really putting me over the edge.

- Wait a minute. Forget chores.

Forget chores. What we mean

is, we want to help you.

We're gonna get you a tutor, and I'd

like to start picking you up after school.

He's not picking me up after school. I

don't have to listen to you, all right?

You're not my father. You

will never be my father!

- You watch your mouth.

- Watch yours! You lied to me!

You told me my father wasn't

here, but he is! I've seen him!

Max.

Please.

Wait.

You're right.

I did lie.

Your father showed up a

couple of months ago and...

I didn't know

what to do.

Why did he leave?

Sometimes things just don't

turn out the way you plan.

I know that I'm not the best

mother in the world, Max...

but I want you

to have a real father...

one who's around,

who you can count on.

- Do you understand that?

- No.

So, tough guy...

- what's "grounded"?

- Something I'm not!

My dad says it's

the blood that counts.

I'll get a job!

I'll show them!

Maybe I'll even be a personal

assistant! I'll show them all!

Once I know the business and stuff,

I can even have a band myself.

- My dad will manage us.

- Pretty big dreams, kid.

What do you know?

You live in a box!

Boom box, that is. So what?

Every once in awhile,

someone drags me out.

And I do see things.

Like a whole bunch of silly people,

counting on a whole bunch of silly wishes.

Let me be the first to tell you, the

future don't always follow the plan.

Because the plan

sucks big time!

See, I'm making

my future here, Kaz...

and the next step is two all-access

passes to tonight's concert.

Don't say I didn't

warn you, boys.

I think I'm gonna

wait outside, Max.

No way, man.

This is cool!

Rocky, Bullwinkle,

shall we?

Come on, Rocky.

Buddy, it's like trying to hide

a tanker behind a sailboat.

- What if they don't like me?

- They already don't like you.

The question is,

what are you gonna do about it?

Get set for my

tete-a-tete-tete.

Oh, Mr. Malik.

Your club...

What a place.

- I knew it was gonna be hot.

- I always deliver...

more than I promise.

Oh! So do I.

I've got lots of clients...

I'm looking for Mr. Matteo.

All right.

You took this job,

no questions asked!

No, I was hired to record a live

performance, not bootleg a legit album!

- I quit!

- Get over here!

The last one of these tapes was

worth a million dollars to Malik.

- 'Cause piracy's a felony, Nick. I don't want to be involved.

- Oh, r...

What are you doing here? Get outta

here! Let me paint a picture for you, Ed.

- Fine. Go ahead.

- You are involved!

- No, I'm not involved.

- I said get out of here!

- I quit, Nick!

- Dad...

It's not my problem anymore!

I got 50,000 blanks coming

in our little loading dock!

- You better have that tape ready by 3:00!

- Dad!

- Forget about it, Nick.

- I told you to get out of here!

- I'm tellin' ya, I'm outta here!

- Shut up!

You stay there.

What the hell are you doing

here? Are you looking for trouble?

Dad, I thought it was

just gonna be you and I.

There is no "you and I."

- Dad.

- Get out and stay out!

But, Dad,

you don't understand.

I told you Spinderella

would pack the house.

You mean you've done

your job. Good boy.

But what I am really

interested in is this man.

- I don't know who he is.

- Just some guy.

You gotta watch

for these things, Nick.

You gotta keep your

eyes open for new talent.

You gotta look

for the sparkle.

Nick tells me

what a good man you are.

I'm counting on it.

Hey, what are you

doing here?

I didn't know Spinderella opened

the show with a dwarf tossing.

Where'd you find this,

trash dumpster?

- No, I was in there, all right?

- Yeah, I suppose you got...

a key to the studio.

Look, I was all over. I

was in the V.I.P. Section.

I can go wherever I want.

I got pull.

- Oh, he's got pull now. Pull this.

- Yeah.

I'm tellin'the truth. They're doin'a

live recording worth a million bucks.

They're taping it right now. If I wanted

to, I could go straight back in there...

straight to the recording booth

and put the tape in your hands.

Hey...

you mean that, homie?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

Something new on the plate?

Him? He's tall, Malik.

Don't mistake that

for interesting.

I was raised

to find everything interesting.

He's got a secret

bigger than he is.

Know a person's secret,

you own them.

Bring me his.

Kazaam! Hey, Kazaam!

- Malik would like you to join us tonight.

- Would you sign mine?

The thing is...

I'm looking for Max.

He's with Nick. And I think

we'll just be in the way.

Please, my favorite.

- Nubian goat eyes?

- The food of kings!

I haven't had these

in 3,000...

days.

You have old-fashioned taste.

I don't get out much.

That we can change.

No, go around

to the other side.

- You're late!

- Come on!

Hurry up!

- What, are you crazy?

- All right.

Hey, Shep,

bring it down here!

- Traffic at 2:00 in the morning?

- Yeah.

Come on. It was supposed to already

be here. I told you five minutes ago.

Mr. Matteo, I got the tape!

It's finished!

Wait right here. I'll be right

back down. Close the door.

What door?- The loading dock

door. Just press the button.

- What button?

- The button on the side!

Hey, wait!

- Downstairs!

- Come on!

- Let's go!

- All right, you punks!

All right, let's go!

Let's go!

Come back here, you guys!

Hey...

Hey, hold it right there!

- Hey!

- Come on back here!

Mom?

- #You are looking at the dream #

- Let me go! Ow!

Get out of my bed!

You know, you were right for me to get out

there last night. They totally loved me.

What are you

doing here anyway?

Look, Virgo.

That wasn't here yesterday.

- Hey, what's this?

- What are you doing here anyway?

- What you looking for?

- Nothing! I'm looking for nothing!

Nothing is good.

What's this, science?

"Polar covalent bonds have an

ionic..." You know this stuff?

My mom wishes I did.

Hey!

Wow. You're a genie too.

You should've seen us last night

in Malik's limo, just chillin'.

Having a good time,

eating goat eyes, just chillin'.

What's that?

You-You smell like

hippopotamus butt!

Damn.

You know, your father

sure is lucky to work

with Malik. He says I

got a future in the biz.

Is Asia gonna love me

or what?

Especially now. So, you and your

father have a nice night too?

- Nice night?

- Max!

French toast!

Rotie francaise?

I love it beaucoup,

beaucoup, beaucoup!

Max. Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

That's right,

it's poison.

I figured if I ended your

suffering, mine would end too.

Max. Last night...

Don't do that again.

I made your favorite, with

chocolate chips and peanut butter.

- I'm not hungry. Do I have to have this...

- Max! Please!

For once in your life,

let me have the last word.

Okay?

So, so sorry.

Max insisted.

He's told me so much

about you.

I- I'm sorry.

H-Have I met you before?

No, ma'am, I haven't had the pleasure.

I am Jefferson Allensworth Lamb.

"Jefferson" for he who

framed our fine constitution...

"Allensworth" for he who founded

a community of free blacks...

and "Lamb" because I like

to eat lamb chops.

And you're

a friend of Max 's?

How sweet of you

to call me a friend...

but the school district more

commonly refers to me as a tutor.

A tutor?

Oh, the school got you a tutor?

Oh, I-I'm sorry.

I-I didn't hear the door.

Uh, you've

been studying?

Y- Yeah, yeah, I have, inverse

ratios of height to intelligence.

He gets that wit

from me.

Uh, well, Mr. Lamb, would,

uh... Have you had breakfast yet?

Chocolate and peanut butter

French toast? Heavenly.

Oh, please. Sit down.

What are you doing here?

Get out of here. Get out.

- I'll make some more.

- Don't bother. I'm not hungry.

- Breakfast wars. Yes, you are.

- Not even a little hungry?

- Oh, Max?

- What?

Max, wait up!

So, what did you and

your father do last night?

Do?

Uh, lots of stuff.

- "Stuff" is good. What kind of stuff?

- Stuff, okay?

Oh. Hmm, I used to do

stuff a long time ago.

Shouldn't you

be going to school?

- I'm not going.

- Say what?

No, I'm not going

to school!

So, what do you think about this

shirt? Do I look cool or what?

Hey...

what's like the worst thing

you've ever seen in your life?

The destruction of Pompeii.

- That was a wish? That was you?

- Look, I didn't have a choice.

Besides, I did some hard time

under that ash. Try 342 years.

So, like, I mean,

what about you?

You ever take anything

you shouldn't have...

- or somethinglike that, you know?

- Me?

Yeah. Like, what's the

worst thing you've ever done?

Look, can we talk about this later? I

got things I gotta do, people I gotta see.

- What?

- I gotta get ready.

- Ready for what?

- For tonight.

- Tonight?

- I'm gonna perform.

- You?

- Yeah, you said I was cool.

Yeah, well, what are you

gonna rap about?

You're right. The whole

thing is giving me tension.

- I can't even decide what to wear.

- It doesn't matter what you wear.

I mean, but you gotta have

something to rap about, your rhymes.

I mean, you gotta have

something to say.

- Now what do you know about rapping?

- I know a few things.

- Yeah, right.

- My name is Max, so get these facts.

I'm on my heavy B.M.X.,

and I make some tracks.

That's whack!

- That's horrible! Oh, my God, that's awful.

- You do better.

What are we, Max?

I cannot hear you!

What are we?

Man, it must be great

to be a genie.

Sure, except

you're locked up.

A couple of millennia later,

your lamp breaks.

Oh, you think you're free, but

you're sucked into a compass.

You go down with the ship.

One day, you're salvaged.

You wind up in a radiator, a trombone.

You got it; A broken boom box.

But you can just snap your

fingers and have anything.

Yeah, but I can't

make myself free.

Or make someone

fall in love.

Or even make someone fall in love

with me. I can't even touch destiny.

Well, I just wish I could

change things, you know?

Make things different.

You're not talking about genies.

You're talking about djinn.

Djinn?

What's a djinn?

A djinn is free.

A djinn can do anything.

Love, the future, fate.

The problem is, djinn only

exist in fairy tales...

and I don't believe

in fairy tales.

Yeah, well, I don't believe

in fairy tales either.

- But then again, I don't believe in wishes.

- And look what you got.

Doesn't your school

have a bell?

Yeah. All right.

I guess I better be going.

- See ya.

- See ya.

- Yo, the business man.

- Yo, what's up, man?

How's it going?

Having fun, Max?

Some cajones, huh?

So, you gotta talk

to your dad.

Tell him if he wants the tape

back, it's gonna cost him.

This is your big chance, man.

Do this, everything changes.

You got money, everybody

looks at you differently.

You don't do this...

You don't want to say no.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Get up!

Nick, please.

Nick, Nick.

You knew the tape

was worth a million dollars.

What was he thinking?

He was gonna work it off?

I know how much it was worth.

I'll find it.

But what will I find?

My loyal friend...

or a man at the bottom

of the lake?

I'll get it to you

by midnight tonight.

But I still find it curious.

On surveillance tapes...

it looks like we were robbed

by a bunch of little boys.

How could that be?

I don't know.

Neither do I.

Kazaam! Kazaam!

Revere is ready,

but he doesn't have a horse.

Kazaam!

So he wishes for the fastest

damn mare in creation.

And what do you know;

A country is born.

Where did you learn

all this, Harvard?

Harvard? I'm way

too intelligent for Harvard.

I experienced my academia

in Upper Mesopotamia.

But nothing is more major

than my studies in Asia.

Kazaam!

So how'd you get to work

for a guy like Malik?

- You don't want to know.

- Yes, I do. Try me.

With a talent like yours, you'll

get to know him as well as I do.

But will I get

to know you?

I'll be right back.

Kazaam!

Kazaam!

- What the...

- Get off the table.

- Kazaam, I gotta make a wish!

- What are you doing? Get off the table.

- Kazaam, I need a wish, okay?

- Right now?

No, in 250 years, stupid! I need a

tape. No, no, I wish I had the tape.

- What kind of tape?

- The master tape of last night's show.

Can't your father

give it to you?

No! Do you have

a problem with this wish?

- No, it's just that it's your second wish.

- So?

- So you want to waste it on a tape?

- I just do, okay?

Just get me the tape!

I mean, come on, you

know the drill. "I am

Kazaam..." Let's go!

That we can do.

No!

- Why are we here?

- Just saving you a wish, my man.

- I-It's not here.

- How do you know?

I just know, okay?

Why isn't the tape

here, Max?

Why are you stalling? All you ever

wanted was to make my three wishes!

'Cause you're blowing a

whole wish! Something's wrong.

I got a nose

for this kind of stuff.

Talk to me, Max.

I'm your friend.

I don't need a friend, I need a genie!

Now, grant my second wish! I order you!

Your wish is my command.

- I'm outta here.

- Let me assist you.

Four of the republics

of the former Soviet Union...

Uh, Unocal?

Unistan?

Pakistan?

Stan the man?

Detention!

Tell me you

had a wonderful breakfast.

Tell me that you couldn't have

another bite. Tell me everything.

L.S.U. Grad...

professional performer

since he was eight.

Like I said, he's about as

interesting as his pituitary gland.

Come on, Asia.

Give Kazaam another shot,

won't you?

I know there is something

about that boom box...

and I am just dying

to find out.

- Yo, Jake.

- Two hours in detention. That sucks.

Mrs. Duke sucks.

We gotta talk.

See you later, man.

Come on, in the car.

Wait. Max. Max.

Wait. Max. Max, honey,

get out of the car.

Nick, what the hell do

you think you're doing?

This is between me and my boy.

Your boy? You haven't seen him in

over a decade. You have no rights here.

- This has nothing to do with you.

- You want me to call the cops?

Max, he's not what you think

he is. Get out of the car.- Let go.

- Max.

- Go back to Travis!

Max, no! Max, no!

No, stop!

Fifteen years.

Fifteen years!

Never in my life have I ever

seen something so stupid!

- But Dad, I-I...

- I know what you stole, you and your punk friends!

Dad, please...

I told you...

Jesus.

Why'd you have to come now?

Mom was gonna marry Travis.

I thought

I'd never see you again.

You must have really

thought I was something.

I never knew what to think.

You were gone.

Listen to me.

You don't want to be like me.

You don't want

to live my life.

You got a choice. I don't.

You understand?

A guy like me,

you can't just walk away...

and pretend all this

didn't happen.

Do you know how many cops

would love to lock me up?

All right, look.

I want to tell you something.

You get no second chances

in life.

You get no second chances.

Remember that.

Go on, get outta here.

Go on, go!

- Wow, look at that!

- That's some boom box.

It has nothing to do

with the box.

Well, if you're looking

for this, I found it.

- Start production.

- You got it.

I want the first run packed

and shipped by sunrise.

Nick... stick around.

I want to talk to you

about your son.

How about it, party people! Put

your hands together for Klass K!

Whoo! Yes! There's about a thousand

people out there, and they loved me!

You look terrific!

Just great!

Yes.

- Kazaam! Kazaam! I got it, I got it!

- What is it?

Kazaam! I need

to make my last wish!

Say what?- My third wish! I wish

my dad had a second chance.

- Is the kid bothering you?

- Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

- What is it?

- Don't you want him back?

Let me hear you

make some noise!

I wish my dad

had a second chance.

- You know, like a different life.

- No can do, kid.

- Kazaam, you gotta help me!

- We've been over this before.

- New lives, destiny. Kazaam can't do ethereal...

- Kazaam!

I need this more than anything

I've ever needed in my entire life!

- I mean, can't you even try?

- Believe me, I've been trying all my life.

- Just try harder!

- Look, I can't do it!

Kazaam, I gotta make this wish!

When you gonna learn? Life

ain't about wishin' and dreams.

It's about what you got

and what you can do with it!

Please! This is all my fault!

I'm not some djinn. I just can't

snap my fingers and make you happy.

You just don't want to grant

my third wish, do you?

You've got all this, and now you

don't want to go back in your box!

I thought

you were my friend!

Friend? Don't you remember?

I'm just your genie!

You...

You're nothing!

- Max! What is it?

- Nothing!

- What's the matter?

- Just leave me alone!

Max!

Excuse me.

What's wrong with Max?

- He'll be all right.

- He was really upset.

I know, but listen to this

crowd. They love me. I own them.

- You don't own them!

- Say what?

You don't get it, do you?

Look, look,

look what you have!

Do you know how jealous

you are making me? Huh? Huh?

- I'm just telling my story.

- No, it's much more.

You are...

You have a...

There is an ancient phrase.

"Sultan's gold."

You speak!

Uh, you know...

You are

the "sultan's gold"!

You got two minutes.

My box!

- Where's my box?

- Don't worry about the little things.

- Listen.

- We want more!

Your public calls.

Trust me.

This is my world.

Right now, you are

the biggest part of it.

My sultan's gold...

lives in a genie's lamp.

- Get outta here!

- Dad, what happened?

Go! Go!

- At long last.

- Look familiar?

Your father's been

very modest...

about your

accomplishments, Max.

That's right. I've got the box,

and you're on your last wish.

Look, Malik, let's stop

playing these games.

I don't know what you're talking

about, and neither does he.

You can't keep all

these secrets from me.

You got your tape.

He's just a boy!

Dad! What are you doing?

You can't...

Make the wish,

I get the genie.

And everything

my heart desires!

And if you

try anything clever...

Dearly beloved Nick...

will wake up...

dead.

Klass K! Klass K! Klass K!

Klass K! Klass K!

Your third wish

will be, quote:

"I want Malik to have all

the money in the world."

Don't you see, I wished for that, but you

can't do that. Because if you do that...

the rest of the world goes broke

and money isn't worth anything!

Then I'll take all the money

and give some of it back!

Make my wish now!

I can't! I can't just say,

"Hey, Kazaam, I need your help,"

and he'll appear

right in front of me.

I can't just say, "Kazaam!"

Let's get busy, K!

Make the wish...

or your father will die.

I count to three.

One, two, three!

Get out! Get out!

Help!

- Run!

- What are we gonna do?

Come on! To the right! To the right!

- Stay over here!

- Stay over here!

Look out!

What is this place?

- Let's go this way.

- Oh, here they come.

- Come on! Come on!

- We lost them!

- We can't find...

- Go left! Go left!

What are we gonna do?

- All right, wait here.

- What are these?

Black market CDs.

Let's go.

Dad, look out!

Let's run for it!

Go! Go!

I'm the one with the power.

I'm the one with the genie.

Kazaam, he's my genie.

And as long as I'm standing here,

he'll do whatever I tell him to.

Then I guess

my only problem is...

that you are still standing!

Kazaam!

It worked!

Now...

be a good genie...

and get into the box.

- I don't understand.

- You've been called.

Where's Max?

Max...

has terminated

your contract.

You have a new master.

Now... hop, hop.

But I haven't granted

his third wish yet.

Trust me, he won't be

asking for any more.

What'd you do with him?

It's begun.

No.

Yes.

His head

still looks thick.

Not all there,

Klass K? Huh?

Come on!

Come on!

You can't hurt me.

I am your master!

- What?

- I'll never be your sl*ve!

Now... where's Max?

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He fell down the shaft!

- What?

- There was nothing that I could do!

Put me down.

I'm afraid of heights.

Wish not granted.

Yeah, that's okay over there.

Bring it over there.

Come on, let's move it aside.

- Get those things moved off to the side, all right? Over there.

- Max, Max, Max...

Lady. Lady, where you goin'?

Now you can't go in there.

I think my son's in there.

- You can't go...

- I think that my son is in...

Lady, you can't go in there.

Okay, look, I need to

find Travis. He's a fireman.

- Travis?

- Travis O'Neil.

Travis O'Neil

is in there.

Hey, tough guy.

No!

In 5,000 years...

you're the only friend

I've ever had.

And when you

needed me the most...

I wasn't there.

And if I had to spend

another 5,000 years...

in a lamp, a compass...

or even that stupid boom box...

I wouldn't care.

I just wish...

I could have granted

your wish.

I wish I could have

filled your heart.

You... You are

the sultan's gold, Max.

I...

I am Kazaam.

Do you have to shine

that in my eyes?

You're alive!

You're alive!

Put me down, put me down!

I made a wish,

and I granted it!

- Put me down!

- You're alive!

What was that?

What's happening?

I don't know. This has

never happened before.

You're leaving.

You can't. I haven't

made my third wish yet.

But you did. You wished for a

second chance for your father.

- But wait, I...

- It was a perfect wish. It was a wish from your heart.

- And now it's done. - But...

- No, you don't understand!

- What's happening to you?

- I don't know. I just feel...

I feel...

free!

You... You're...

- You...

- I'm djinn...

and I'm free.

No.

- Kazaam... you can't.

- You don't need me anymore.

- Don't go!

- In our hearts, we're all djinn...

- and we're all free.

- Kazaam, you can't.

- Don't leave me.

- The power...

is in... your heart.

I make a grab like that and you

don't even say, "nice save"?

- What happened?

- Let's go.

- Max? Is he okay?

- Yeah.

Is he all right?

Max, are you okay?

Max! Oh!

You're all right.

You did okay.

- Travis, get him a blanket?

- Sure.

I was in the building

and Kazaam...

- he was there and he took me...

- Okay, okay. Okay, Max.

- And he flew and then he...

- It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

I got you now.

Okay? It's okay.

I don't know what happened.

All of a sudden, I was free.

Your friend was there.

He said something

about a second chance.

You're a good kid, Max.

You got a good heart.

Look, there's a few things

I gotta take care of.

- Some people I owe.

- Excuse me.

Is there a Nick Matteo here?

That'd be me.

Would you just

give me a minute?

Look, when I come back,

I'd like to see you.

We can get together and,

I don't know...

get a couple rods

and go fishing.

Sounds like a plan to me.

If that's all right

with you.

Thanks.

Are you okay

with this, Max?

- Hey, Mom.

- Yeah?

- Can we go home now?

- Sure we can.

- Come on.

- Hey!

You coming or what?

You talkin' to me?

Okay.

- Are you sure you want to marry this guy?

- Well, that's the plan.

Let me tell you something. I've been dealing

with this woman for 12 straight years.

Now, we're talkin'

three baths a week...

- trash detail, cleaning your room.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

- Three baths a week?

- Mm-hmm. With soap.

That's cold.

Speaking of which, I could sure

use a nice hot cup of chocolate.

You don't understand.

I'm free!

- Free to do what?

- I got plans.

The only plans you got are

to grow old and die with me.

You must not realize who I am.

If you blink, I disappear.

- Get real. You're getting a job.

- Ajob?

Hey, hey, hold on, hold on. Ajob?

I ain't worked in 5,000 years.

Well, th-there's

a first time for everything.

I ain't workin'.