Narrator: In Every Society,
There Are Those Evildoers,
Ne'er-Do-Wells,
And Just Plain Bad Guys
Who Break The Laws
Of The Land.
For Those Good Citizens
Who Risk Life And Limb
By Testifying In A Court Of Law
Against These Criminals,
We Say, "Fear Not,
Brave Souls,"
For This Is Where We,
The Federal Witness
Protection Program, Step In.
We Provide You And Your Family
With New Identities,
A New Home, New Friends,
A New Life.
Just Look How Happy And Safe
The Jones Family Is,
Or Should I Say
The Smith Family.
Our Agents Use The Latest
Scientific Technologies
To Keep Your Identities
Safe And Secure.
Should The Unlikely
Occasion Arise
In Which You Are Asked
By Your Government
To Come Forward With
What You Know Or Have Seen,
Remember...
We Will Always Be There
To Make Sure
That You And Your Loved Ones
Are Well Protected.
Take, For Example, One
Of The Most Unique Cases
From Our Files...
Witnesses 9235 And 9236,
The Parker Sisters.
First Day
Of High School.
Hope We'll Be Popular.
Hey, It's
The Parker Sisters.
They're So Cool.
Their Clothes Are So Hip.
Can We Be Like You?
The Most Popular Girls
In School.
Ooh, They're, Like,
The Most Popular Girls Ever.
Chanting:
Parker, Parker, Parker...
[Cheers, Applause]
In Honor Of Their Courageous
Contribution To Society,
Their Superior Grades,
And Their Extremely
Fashionable Footwear,
I Hereby Declare Today
To Be Parker Sisters Day!
[Cheers, Applause]
[Band Playing March]
[Beeping]
Mom: Girls,
You're Gonna Be Late
For Cheerleading
Tryouts.
Great Dream.
Wasn't It?
Come On.
I Was Here First!
I Called It
Last Night!
Look!
There's Brad Pitt!
Where?
Hey! Hey!
Works Every Time.
[Bell Rings]
Oh, No. Oh!
Oh, Oh, Oh!
Oh! Ow, Ow, Ow!
Well, Just The Way
I Like It.
Mmm. Mmm. Honey,
I'm Off To Work.
Oh, Honey,
W-W-W-Wait.
Oh, Rick, You Know,
I Just Hate The Thought
Of You Out There
On The Streets.
That's The Life Of Us Men
In Uniform, Teri.
Without Men
Like Me On Duty,
The Very Fabric Of Society
Would Unravel.
Well, You Be Careful
Out There, Ok, Honey?
Mmm.
Another Day.
[Barking]
Good--Good Dog. Ow!
Very Good Dog.
Let Go Now.
All Right.
Ugh. Good Dog.
Let Go.
See You Tomorrow.
[Barking]
Hey!
What? Hey!
Hey!
My Hair!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
We're Freshmen.
We Want
To Be Popular.
It's A Problem.
Kind Of A Scrawny Crop
This Year.
Girls, Halloween
Isn't Until October.
Ha Ha Ha!
Well, Then Why Are You
Acting Like Such A Witch?
All: [Gasps]
Oh. Ooh.
What? It--It
Just Slipped Out.
Steady, Steady.
Go, Cougars!
Go, Go, Go!
Uh-Oh...
Grass...
Grass...
No!
Ah-Choo!
That Was So Close.
Here's A Tissue.
No!
[All Scream]
[Muffled Shouting]
Does This Mean
We Didn't Make The Squad?
Our First Day
Of High School,
And Our Reps
Are Already Trashed.
How Are We Ever Supposed
To Show Our Faces Again?
Look, You Worry
Too Much.
Everything's
Gonna Be Fine.
By Tomorrow, No One
Will Even Remember.
Hey! There They Are!
It's The Girls
Who Ruined The Pyramid.
Come On. Let's Get 'Em!
Both: Run!
See, I Told You
It Would Be Fine.
Ok, But Eventually,
They're Gonna
Figure Out It's Us.
By Then,
We'll Have Plan B.
I Hope You're Right.
Hot Dogs, Please.
Yes, Please.
P.A.: Attention, Please,
The Museum Will Be Closing
In 5 Minutes.
It's Broken.
Give Me
That.
No!
Yes!
No, No!
Yes!
Ugh!
[Alarm Blares]
Come On,
Come On.
Hey, You! Stop!
You! Stop!
Face It.
We're Not Like
Those Self-Absorbed
Cheerleaders.
We're Sensitive...
Intuitive...
Hey! Take That!
Picking Up
On Every Subtlety...
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Every Cue...
What Are You Doing?
Hey!
Both: Ugh!
I'm Having
A Bad Condiment Day.
Let Me Try.
[Bang!]
I've Been Hit!
That's Some
Powerful Ketchup.
Dude, Are You Ok?
Ecch. No Wonder
He's Wearing A Mask.
[Sirens]
Officer: Freeze!
You're Under Arrest!
Look, If This Is About
The Cheerleading Pyramid--
It Was An Accident.
She Just Sneezed.
And One Thing
Led To Another...
Both: And--
And--
Robber: And This Is
A Very Big
Misunderstanding,
You Don't Understa--
My Uncle's
A Very Powerful Man!
You Know
How Some Days
Are Just Like
Any Old Day?
And Others Change
Your Life Forever? Well...
Did This Man Have
Any Distinguishing Features?
Well, If You Call
A Gross Zit
Distinguished.
And If You Saw
That Gross Zit Again,
Would You Recognize It?
Definitely.
Your Honor, I Would
Like To Introduce
As Exhibit 10,
The Following...
[All Groan]
I Was Under
A Lot Of Stress!
Attorney: Let's Take
A Closer Look, Shall We?
[All Groan]
Was That The Zit
That You Saw?
Yes, That's The One.
Thank You.
For The Crime Of Stealing
The Kneel Diamond,
Which Has Yet
To Be Recovered,
This Court Finds You
Guilty As Charged.
[All Gasp]
Order!
I Said
Order In The Court!
Buh-Bye.
Order! Oh, I Give Up.
Ok, Now This
Would Have Been
A Very
Happy Ending...
And A Very Short Movie...
If That Crook
Over There...
Hadn't Been
The Nephew
Of This Crook
Over Here.
Head Of The Notorious
Hatchew Crime Family.
From The Little-Known
Nation Of...
You Girls
Will Pay For This.
Nobody Crosses
Emil Hatchew.
All: God Bless You.
Like That's The First Time
I Heard That One.
I'll Hunt You Down
Like A Dog Hunts Bones...
Like A Squirrel
Hunts Nuts...
Like A Goldfish Hunts
Those Tiny Little Flakes
At The Top Of The Water!
And I'll Find You! Ha!
That Guy,
What A Drama Queen.
Uh, I Think He Was
Kind Of Serious.
Really?
Fbi Agent:
Mr. And Mrs. Parker,
The Fbi Fears For
The Safety Of Your Family.
Until Emil Hatchew
Is Permanently
Put In The Poky,
You Parkers
Are In Peril.
You've Been Brought To This
Secret Underground Facility
To Be Placed In The Witness
Protection Program.
You'll Be Moved
To A New City,
Receive New Identities.
No One Will Know
Your Whereabouts,
Not Even Your Friends
And Family.
The Whole Mci Network?
What? I Was Just Asking.
Mr. Parker, I'm Afraid
You'll Have To Give Up
Your Job As A Mailman.
And, Girls,
Unfortunately, You'll
Have To Go To A New School.
You Mean,
We Never Have To Go
To Our Old School
Again?
[Band Plays March]
Whoo!
Gee, What A Shame.
Well, Bring On
Those New I.D.S.
Wait.
Not So Fast.
If, For Any Reason,
Your Cover Is Blown,
You Call
My Special Beeper,
And Then...
We'll Have To Relocate
You Immediately.
In Other Words...
Keep...
Your Mouths...
Shut.
Ok, You Know
This Whole
"Keep Our Mouths
Shut" Thing?
Well, Easier Said
Than Done.
See, Our Family Has
A Little Bitty Problem.
We're Kind Of, Well...
Both: Blabber-Mouths.
Class, We Have 2 New
Students With Us Today--
Carla And Andrea
Frauenfelder.
Why Don't You Girls
Tell Us About Yourselves?
Carla?
Both: Well...
I'm Carla.
No, I'm Carla.
You're Andrea.
Oh. You
Might Be Right.
She's Carla.
So, What Was
The Question Again?
Uh, What Brings
You Two To Texas?
Oh, Right.
We Witnessed A Crime.
And Now
We're In Hiding.
Sorry. It Just
Slipped Out.
I Can't Wait For
The Homecoming Dance.
The Band Is So Cool.
Just Watch Out
For The Slammers.
Oh, We Just Sent
Some Jewel Thieves
To The Slammer.
Sorry. My Bad.
Hmm.
Aw.
Scissors.
Uh, Excuse Me?
Attention, Everyone.
We're Part Of The Witness
Protection Program.
All Right, All Right.
I'll Confess.
The Money Is--
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
[Water Flushes]
Man: Now You Have Finally
Achieved Inner Peace.
[Beeping]
[Crying]
[Beeping]
People!
I'm In Charge Now.
You've Left Me No Choice.
We're Sending You
To The Last Place
On The Planet--
A Port So Remote That
No Person Would Presume
To Pinpoint Your Position.
You Mean Australia?
Aw, You Ruined It!
How Did You Know?
I'm An Easy Read, Aren't I?
I Stink At This Job.
I Knew I Should Have
Gone Into Ladies' Shoes.
Um, Dude?
Oh.
Anyway, If You
Screw It Up This Time,
You'll Be Pulled
From The Program...
Permanently!
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow... ♪
Twin: So, Australia
Was Our Last Chance.
This Time We Had
To Make It Work
For Mom And Dad's Safety
And Our Own.
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ Well, I Can't
Understand ♪
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ A Single Word ♪
♪ Pow Pow Oom Mow Mow ♪
♪ Is He Serious... ♪
Twin:
Well, The Good News?
Australia Was Like
One Big Party.
The Bad News?
We Weren't Exactly
Invited Yet.
Our Cover This Time?
The Turtlebees
Of Cleveland, Ohio,
Proprietors Of
The Salvation Shore Inn.
Meet Stanley And Shirley
Turtlebee
And Their Daughters,
Abby And Maddie.
The Inn Was Staffed
By Some Pretty
Colorful Characters.
There's Katie,
The Inn's Water Sports Guru.
Scuba Diving, Windsurfing,
Shameless Farting--
You Name It, She Does It.
That's Shelby Shaw.
He Runs
The Inn's Fishing Boat,
The Molly Mae.
Beauty.
He Likes To Work
With His Hands.
And Then There's Boomer,
The Inn's Mascot.
He's Pretty Independent.
He Loves Potato Chips
And Watches
Way Too Many Cartoons.
Well, School's Tomorrow.
A Chance
For A Fresh Start.
We Should Probably Skip
Cheerleading Tryouts.
Good Plan.
Mm-Hmm.
What Do You Think
We Should Wear?
Don't Worry.
I've Got The Whole
Aussie Fashion Thing
Under Control.
♪ So Far, So Good ♪
♪ Everything,
Tree And Rock ♪
You Call This
Under Control?
We'll Look Like
Crocodile Dundee.
[Laughing]
Well, Look
On The Bright Side.
At Least Everyone
Speaks English.
G'day, Mates.
Welcome To Steak
And Kidney.
What's With
The Barro Daggy Duds?
You Seppos Going Troppo?
Subtitles, Please.
Ohhh.
No, No, No.
We're Just New.
Oh. The Name's Sheila.
Oh, I'm, Uh...
Abby.
Right.
And I'm...
Maddie.
Right.
What Brings You Sheilas
To Our End Of The World?
Oh, We're In The--
Mood To See
The School.
Oh, No Worries.
I'll Show You Around.
Now, Let's See,
That's Victoria
In The Popular Crowd.
Ray, Donny,
And Her Whole Posse.
Forget Them. They'll
Never Talk To You.
Oh, And Over There?
That's The Nerds.
They'll Be Friends
With You
If You Barf
All Over Them.
[Laughs]
Hi, Leonard.
Now, Let's See...
That's The Surfies.
Pete, Avery,
That Whole Crowd.
Don't Talk To Them
If You Want
To Be Popular.
But I Thought
You Just Said
That The Popular Kids
Won't Talk To Us.
Right, But In The
Off Chance They Might,
I'd Stay Clear.
And That's The Jocks,
That's
The Theater Geeks,
That's The Brainiacs.
Which Group
Are You In, Sheila?
The Individualists.
Twin: Australia
Was Great, But...
We All Had A Little
Trouble Adjusting.
Dad Kind Of Missed
His Job As A Mailman.
Excuse Me.
Let Me Show You
Stand Over Here.
[Sniffs, Sighs]
It's Like This...
With The Wrist. See?
Twin: And Mom? She
Really Missed Her Friends.
Be Strong, Blabber-Mom,
Be Strong.
Ah-Ah-Ah.
What? I Was...
Ordering A Pizza,
Honey.
You Heard What
Agent Banner Said.
No Phone Calls,
No Letters,
No Carrier Pigeons
To Anyone.
Maybe Just
A Little E-Mail?
Oh, Please. I Told You
Never Use The "E" Word.
I'm Going
Stir-Crazy Here.
No Friends, No Guests,
And I'm Sorry,
But That Kangaroo
Doesn't Like
The Same Shows As Me.
[Music Playing]
Honey, Until Emil
Hatchew Is Locked Up,
We Just Have
To Stick With This.
As Tough
As It Is For Us,
Imagine How Difficult It
Must Be For The Girls.
Yeah, You're Right, Honey.
I Need To Set An Example
For The Girls.
And You Could
Start With That.
You're Right.
I Know. You're Right.
Ok.
[Whistles]
[Ring]
[Ring]
Hello. Salvation Shore Inn.
Uh, Let Me Check The Book.
Abby: While Mom And Dad Were
Sorting Through Their Troubles,
Katie Was Helping Us
Sort Through Ours.
Maddie: What's
The Point, Katie?
We're Never Going
To Fit In Here Anyway.
Ok. Here's
My Advice.
Girls! You Take It
From Shelby Shaw.
You Want To Make Friends
Here In Steak And Kidney?
Do What I Always Do.
[Swallows]
Ahh!
[Crunch]
Whoo! [Laughs]
Well, It Goes Over Big At
The Shark Hunters Reunion.
Eh, Those Were
The Good Old Days.
Girls, If You Want To
Fit In With The Aussies,
Here's A Secret.
Stop Worrying
And Have Some Fun.
[Surf Music Playing]
Are We
Having Fun Yet?
No. They Are.
Maddie: While
Victoria And Her Posse
Were Having Shrimp
On The Barbie,
We Were
Having Sandwich...
Heavy On The Sand.
Good Day, Maddie, Abby.
Hello! Earth To Sheilas.
Oh, Right!
Abby And Maddie.
That's Us. Duh!
Glad You Could Make It.
I Want You
To Meet Me Gal Pals.
This Here's Sheila,
And This Is Sheila,
And This Here's...
Erica. But My Friends
Call Me Sheila.
You Girls Are
Gonna Love Our g*ng.
Hey, What's Wrong
With Your Friend Leonard?
[Soda Can Sprays]
Oh, Man!
Jeez!
Oh!
Man!
Actually, He's More
Than A Friend.
Oh!
Oh!
But, Please,
Don't Tell Anyone.
I Don't Want
Vic And Her Posse
Giving Me The
Raw Prawn Over It.
Hey, Do You Think
You'd Introduce Us To Them?
Are You A Few Sheep
Short Of A Station?
Those Guys
Wouldn't Talk To Us
If We Were The Last
Sheilas On Earth.
Heads Up!
Boy: Heads Up!
Second Boy: Little Help?
Third Boy: Whoo!
Righto!
What's Up?
How'd You Learn
To Do That?
Uh, Your
Frisbee's Broken.
Where'd You Learn
To 'Rang Like That?
I, Uh...
Oh, Well,
She's The Boomerang
Champ Of Chicago.
Cleveland.
Whatever.
Hi, I'm Millie.
Maddie.
Whatever.
Whatever?
Is That Like A Big Saying
With You Americans?
Well,
Cool Americans.
Um, We're Just Going Down
The Beach For A Surf.
You Want To Give It A Go?
Abby:
It Was Suddenly Clear.
If We Wanted To Fit In,
We Had To Do
The Aussie Thing.
So I Put On Me Jumper
And Hoed Into Some Tucker,
But Me Brekkie
Had Chicken Snacks.
Well, I Don't
Like To Whinge,
But I Said,
Bring On Me Damper
And Hot Chokkie.
[Crowd Laughs]
Abby:
It Seems The Royal Court
Thought
We Were Pretty Awesome,
But The Queen
Needed Some Convincing.
Boy: No Yank
Has Ever Eaten Vegemite
Without Tossing
Their Cookies.
Mmm!
Boy: She Likes It!
Ahh!
[Yawns]
Aw!
Aw!
Since When Does She
Know How To Surf?
Since This Scene,
Apparently.
Abby: And When That
Doesn't Work, There's...
You Girls
Are Awesome Aussies!
[Applause]
Well, We Lost
Some Good Ones
To The Forces
Of Evil, Mates.
Ow!
Australia's
A Discreet Operation.
I Need
Someone I Can Trust.
It Has To Be Family.
Get Me My Big Brother Shorty
And Cousin Crusher.
Eh, They're
On Assignment, Boss.
The Thing
With The, Uh, Thing.
Right!
What About
My First Cousin Slasher?
Eh, Prison.
Second Cousin Basher?
A Movie Deal!
Third Cousin
Twice Removed Shotski?
Vacation.
Again?
He Gets 3 Weeks
This Year.
Well, Would You Mind
Telling Me
Who Is Available
In This Family
For A Dishonest Day's Work?!
I Check.
Let Me See. Uh...
These Guys!
And Great Uncle
By Divorce, Sidney.
Well, At Least It's Family.
[Ring]
Mac Here.
We're On Our Way.
G'day, Mates.
Welcome To Sydney.
What Can I Do For You?
We Need A Car.
No Problems.
I Got One Left.
Plus We Need Directions
To The Salvation Shore Inn
Near Manly.
No Worries.
What You Do Is
You Come Out Of The Airport
And You Make 2 Lefts
And Then A Right.
Then You Drive 4 Ks
Beyond The Black Stump.
Turn Left At The Water!
If You Miss The Turnoff,
Though,
You've Gone Past The Dog
On The Tucker Box--
And Welcome To Woop Woop!
[Laughs]
We're Lost.
No, We're Not.
I Know Exactly Where We Are.
What The Heck Is That?
That's My Global
Positioning System.
It Tells Me Where We Are,
Anywhere In The World,
Within 3 Inches.
Yeah? Well,
It Tells Me Here
That We're
That's State Of The Art!
That Cost Me
A Thousand Bucks!
Next Time, Buy A Map
Like A Normal Person.
Yo, I Don't Need A Map.
We're Not Lost.
But We Are About To Hit
That Tru--Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
[Honking And Screaming]
Uncle Sidney?
What?
I Think We're Lost.
Maddie: We Knew
We Had Really Made It
When Victoria Invited Us
On Her Father's Boat.
So, Vic, This Is
Your Father's Boat?
No. That Is.
Twins: Whoa!
Beluga?
Oh, Thank You.
Mmm! What Is
This Stuff?
Fish Eggs.
Eh! No Spit Takes
In This Movie.
Victoria: Great
Boat, Isn't It?
Yeah.
Did You Have A Boat
Back In The States?
No. We Lived...
Not Near The Water.
Oh. This Is
Daddy's Favorite.
He Likes It Better
Than The Jet.
I'll Bet.
♪ My Mind Is Racin' ♪
♪ And Feet
Are Movin' Slow ♪
♪ Look All Around ♪
♪ I Don't See
Anything I Know ♪
♪ I'd Like To Answer You,
But I Can't Clarify ♪
♪ If I'm A Hundred Miles
Ahead ♪
♪ Or A Hundred Miles
Behind ♪
♪ You Carried Me ♪
♪ When I Fell ♪
♪ Can I Carry You... ♪
Abby: So,
On The Good News Front,
Things Were Really
Working Out Great For Us.
Little Did We Know...
[Laughing]
What The Heck
Is That?
Oh, I'm Checking
My E-Mail.
It's A Wireless
Internet Connection.
Barely Th...
Uncle Sidney,
Are You Wacked?
How Am I Going To Check
My Joke Of The Day?
De Niro Wouldn't Have
To Put Up With This.
[Crow Caws]
My Feet Hurt.
Your Feet Hurt?
I'm Hungry.
Are You Hungry?
I'm Hungry.
You Hungry?
Got It!
Yay!
Oh, It's Ok.
Nice Try, Sheila.
Hey, Maddie, Abby!
Hi!
Hi, Sheila!
Hey, Look Who It Is!
It's Lenny The Spaz Boy.
Hey, Lenny!
Boy: 9-7! [Laughs]
Lenny: Hey, Who Did That?
I Can't Believe Sheila's
Really Friends With That Dag.
Actually, They're
More Than Friends.
[Gasps] They're
Doing The Lip Mash?
Yeah, But
Don't Tell Anyone.
Lenny, Sheila.
[Kissing]
[Laughter]
Boy: What A Dork.
Just Where Do You Surfies
Think You're Going?
This Is Our Beach.
Someone Talking
To Us, Pete?
No. Nobody
That I Can See.
Well, You Better Listen,
Or There's Gonna Be Trouble.
Ray,
You've Been Watching
Too Much Baywatch.
[Giggling]
[Giggling]
Pete: Look, Guys.
We Just Want To Surf.
Why Don't You Bloody Just Go
Back To Looking In The Mirror
Or Whatever It Is You Do
For A Living.
Let's Go.
Let's Get
Out Of Here.
Hey, Girls.
I'm Having A Party
In Me Dad's Boat
This Friday. I'd
Love For You To Come.
Great.
Yeah.
But In Case I Forgot
To Lay Out The Rules
Of The Game,
Hang With Them,
And You Can Forget
About The Party
And Everything That
Goes Along With It.
Don't Go There.
Too Late.
Good Day, Huh?
Mm.
Well, At Least We're
Part Of Vic's Group Now.
Mm.
Those Surfer Boys
Are Pretty Cute.
Mm.
[Sighs]
I'm Gonna Wear
Your New Shoes
To The Party.
Mm.
All Right, You've
Been Mm-Ing All Night.
What's The Deal?
I Was Just Thinking,
Don't You Feel
The Least Bit Bad
About What
Happened Today?
Blabbing About
Lenny And Sheila?
Well, Yeah, But
It Was Just An Accident.
I Know. It Just
Slipped Out, Right?
Don't You Ever
Ask Yourself
Why Things
Are Always Just
Slipping Out
Of Our Mouths?
Don't Get
All Oprah On Me.
I Blew It, Ok?
Please.
Ok, Then.
What'll It Be,
Gents?
Woman: Harry, Push
The Fried c*ck!
With Ketchup...
And One Beer.
Dog's Eye, Dead Horse,
And Pig's Ear!
Tourists, Eh?
Where Are You From?
Yur-Ugli.
[Music Stops]
Come Again, Mate?
I Said Yurugli.
Would You Like Me
To Spell It For You?
Whoa!
Aah!
Next Time, Just
Do Me A Favor.
Tell 'Em We're
From New York.
So, What's His Name?
Pete, And He's
Totally Cool,
But If Victoria
Ever Caught Me
Hanging Out
With Him,
I'd Be History.
When I Was Your Age,
There Was A Girl
Just Like Victoria.
Really?
Yeah, There's Always
A Girl Like Victoria.
Anyway, I Wanted To Be
In Her Group So Badly,
But I Stopped
Doing All The Things
I Wanted To Do
And Picked Up
All The Things
She Wanted To Do.
Oh, I Know This One.
But You Were
Completely Miserable
Because You
Weren't Being True
To Yourself.
No. I Was
Totally Popular.
It Was A Blast.
But...
I Wasn't Being Me.
I Was Being Who They
Wanted Me To Be,
And That's No Good.
Have You Ever
Asked Yourself
What Price Is A Girl
Supposed To Pay For...
Popularity?
I Can't Say
That I Have, Missy.
Is That Alive?
Not Anymore.
I'll Give You
Some Advice, Young'un.
You Follow Your Heart,
Be True To Yourself,
And Always Use
A Number 5 Hook.
That's The Key
To Happiness.
I'm Glad
We Had This Talk.
Yeah.
You Know How I Said
There Were Gonna Be
No Spit Takes
In This Movie?
Well, This Is
An Exception.
[Vomiting]
[Laughing]
I've Been
Looking For This.
[Ring]
Hello,
Salvation Shore Inn.
Man: Do You
Have A Room?
Matter Of Fact, We
Just Had A Cancellation.
Like, 2 Minutes Ago.
Good, Then I Would Like
To Make A Reservation.
Teri: Great, For When?
Tonight.
Terrific.
Come On Over.
[Whistles]
Idiot.
Let's See...
Ok...
Lucky For You We've
Just Had A Cancellation.
It's High Season,
You Know.
Yeah, Lucky For Us.
Cute Kids.
Oh, Aren't They, Though?
Oh, You'll Meet 'Em
Later, At Dinner.
Fantastic.
Let Me Put You
In Room 2.
This Is
One Of Our Best.
Ok...
So, Mac, Sidney,
Are You Here On
Business Or Pleasure?
Business.
Pleasure.
Well, For Us,
You Know,
Business
Is A Pleasure.
Yes, We're
Traveling Agents
Touring
Beautiful Austria.
You Mean Australia?
Exactly.
Ok, Everybody.
Here We Go.
Uh, Mom?
Oh, It's
Shark Casserole, Honey.
Mr. Shaw Gave Me
The Recipe.
The Secret Ingredient Is
A Pinch Of Whale Blubber.
Eww.
Mac: So, Uh...So
What About You Folks?
Where Are You From?
Texas. Delaware.
Cleveland.
We've, Uh...
We've Moved A Lot.
Uh, Sidney,
The--The Fin,
It's A Garnish.
I Knew That.
Sorry I'm Late.
Scuba Lesson
Ran Long.
Abby: Uh, Dude?
She's Trying
To Tell You
You Have Broccoli
In Your Teeth.
Oh, Thanks.
You're
The Next Contestant
On Who Wants
To Marry A Loser?
Ok, Right Here
Is The Opera House,
And All Along Here
Is Circular Quay.
And What's That
A Little To The Right?
Oh, The Maritime Museum--
No, No, No.
The Other Right
And Down A Little.
Ok, No Need To Shout.
Well, That's
Just A Post Office.
Exactly!
Oh, Do You Like
Post Offices?
I Love Them.
Oh, Well.
There Are Many.
There's A Big One
Right Here On Martin Place
That Is Just
Out Of This World.
I Can Take You There
If You Want To See It.
Don't Worry.
Listen.
We Can Find It.
No Problem.
Oh, No.
It's No Trouble.
And Then
We Can Go Later On
And Watch Them Sort
Tomorrow's Bulk Mail.
Such Fun.
Mm-Hmm.
Looking
Forward To It...
Yeah.
A Lot.
Okey-Doke.
[Cartoon Playing]
Shh.
Boss Said The Diamond
Was In The Backpack.
Mac: It's Been 2 Months.
I Don't Know.
Maybe She
Cleaned It Out.
Well, If It's Not Here,
Where The Heck Is It?
Hey, Is That New?
Yeah. Found It
In My Backpack.
Must Have Fallen Out
Of My Jewelry-Making Kit.
Spruced It Up A Little.
What Do You Think?
Kind Of Nineties.
Hmm.
Now, How Are We Gonna
Find The Diamond?
Maybe It's Time
We Had That Little Talk
With Those--
Rick: Aha!
Mac, Sidney...
Completely Forgot
To Show You
Post Offices.
I Don't Know
What I Was Thinking.
Right Down Here
There's A Beaut.
Just Take A Look.
Now, This One, You
Could Drive Up Here.
There's A Little
Fountain In Front.
A Fountain?
I Mean, What Do You Wear
To A Yacht Party?
An Inflatable Dress?
Hello, Pulse Check.
Sorry.
I Was Just Thinking,
There's
Something Weird
About Those
Travel Agent Guys.
Duh. They Like
Shark Casserole.
No, Not That.
I Mean, We've Been Here
For 2 Months Already,
And We Haven't
Had Any Guests.
And All Of A Sudden,
These 2 Extras
From The Sopranos
Show Up.
You Haven't Blabbed
To Anyone About Us,
Have You?
You're Accusing Me
Of Blabbing?
What About You?
I Didn't.
Well,
I Didn't, Either.
You're Just Being--
Ow!
Paranoid.
This Is Dumb.
Then Why Are You
Walking So Fast?
Why Are You
Walking So Fast?
I'm Just
Following You.
[Glass Breaking]
You're
Freaking Me Out.
You're
Freaking Me Out.
[Echoing] You're
Freaking Me Out.
Both: Aah!
Both: Aah!
Hmm.
I Knew I Should Have
Brushed My Hair Today.
You'd Still
Look Scary.
You Girls Ok?
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Uh...
We're Just Heading
Over To Luna Park.
We'd Love To Go.
But We Can't.
I Mean,
We Have Stuff...
To Do.
You Mean, Victoria
Might Not Like It?
That's Not What I Said.
That's What You Meant.
Do You Guys Do Everything
Victoria Tells You To Do?
Hmm. It's Closed.
Not For Us.
Avery's Dad
Owns The Place.
Come On.
Avery: I've Worked
Here Every Summer
Since I Was 12.
Abby: Guess We Don't Have
To Worry About Long Lines.
♪ 99 Red Balloons ♪
♪ Were Floating
In The Summer Sky ♪
♪ Panic Bells,
It's Red Alert ♪
♪ There's Something Here ♪
♪ From Somewhere Else ♪
♪ The w*r Machine,
It Springs To Life ♪
♪ Opens Up
One Eager Eye ♪
♪ Focusing It
On The Sky ♪
♪ As 99 Red Balloons ♪
♪ Go By ♪
Look At Me.
I'm Ally Mcbeal.
And Look At Me.
I'm Mini-Me.
So, Uh, What's
The Story With You Guys
Wasting Your Life
With Victoria
And The Dim Bulbs?
Well, She's
Not So Bad
Once You Get
To Know Her.
You Mean,
She's Not So Bad
Until You Get
To Know Her.
♪ 99 Ministers Meet ♪
♪ To Worry, Worry ♪
♪ Super-Scurry ♪
♪ Call Out The Troops
Now In A Hurry ♪
♪ This Is What
We've Waited For ♪
♪ This Is It, Boys ♪
♪ This Is w*r ♪
♪ The President
Is On The Line ♪
♪ As 99 Red Balloons ♪
♪ Go By ♪
Later, Guys.
So, Uh, What Brought
Your Family To Sydney?
Well, I, Uh--
Um...
My Parents
Inherited The Inn.
Really? From Who?
Oh. Uh...
Some Dead Guy?
Dead Guy.
Yeah.
Abby: Why Does
Everyone Take Surfing
So Seriously Here?
It's Just A Sport.
No. Surfing Is
Much More Than That.
It's A Way Of Life.
It's Not About
The Competition.
It's About You
And The Board
And The Wave.
Communing
With Nature.
Ok, So It's A Bit Much,
But He's Cute, Right?
[Singing In German]
♪ 99 Kriegsminister ♪
♪ Streichholz Und
Benzinkanister ♪
♪ Hielten Sich
Fuer Schlaue Leute ♪
♪ Witterten
Schon Fette Beute ♪
[I] ♪ Riefen: Krieg
Und Wollten Macht ♪
[I] ♪ Mann, Weer Haette ♪
[I] ♪ Das Gedacht ♪
[I] ♪ Dass Es Einmal
Soweit Kommt ♪
[I] ♪ Wegen 99 Luftballoons ♪
This Is So Cool!
Ready To Hurl?
Almost.
[All Screaming]
♪ There's Something Here
From Somewhere Else ♪
♪ The w*r Machine,
It Springs To Life ♪
♪ As 99 Red Balloons ♪
♪ Go By-- ♪
[Tv Playing]
Oh, This Is
Ridiculous.
She'd Never
Stay With Him.
He's Having An Affair
With Her Mother
And 2 Sisters.
Rick: Honey?
Where Are You?
I'm Out Here, Honey.
There You Are.
Oh.
Happy Anniversary.
Sweetheart...
Oh, They're Beautiful.
Honey, Oh...
Oh, Mom, Dad,
You're
Freaking Us Out.
Hey, Where Have
You Girls Been All Day?
The Roller Coaster Of Life.
[Both Giggling]
What Happened?
Boomer.
Abby: Boomer!
[Whimpers]
What--What's
The Matter, Teri?
Shirley.
Yeah, Whatever.
Did I Do
Something Wrong?
No.
No, And The Flowers,
They're--They're
Beautiful, Honey.
It's Just, Um...
I Don't Know,
I--I Miss Our Old Life.
Maybe Next Year,
We'll Have
Our Anniversary
At Home...
Well, Whatever
Our Name Is...
Whatever It Is
This Week...
We're A Family,
And We Gotta
Stick Together.
This Is The Part
Of The Movie
Where We Feel
Really Guilty
For All The Trouble
We've Caused.
I Feel Really Guilty
For All The Trouble
We've Caused.
I Know. We've
Been Having
The Time
Of Our Life.
And Mom And Dad
Are Running An Inn
With 2 Guests
Who Seem Like
They Warped In
From Another Planet.
Hey, I've Got An Idea.
No, It's Out
Of The Question.
There's Way Too Much
To Do Around Here.
Besides, We're Not
Gonna Leave You Two Alone
Here At The Inn.
But, Dad,
We're, Like, 14.
We Haven't Had
A Baby-Sitter
In, Like...
Weeks.
No.
Abby: But
Katie Promised
That She'd
Look After Us
And The Inn.
No. Ow!
[Grunting]
Honey, It Is
Our Anniversary.
No, And That's It!
Oh!
Well, Maybe
A Couple Days Off
Wouldn't Be So Bad.
Girls...
I Want You
To Be Good, Ok?
Bye, Guys.
Love You.
Bye.
Bye.
Have Fun.
Love You.
Maddie:
We Convinced Mom And Dad
To Go On A Camping Trip
For Their Anniversary...
For Their Sanity.
Abby: Wrong Side!
Come On. We're Gonna
Be Late For The Party.
It's Like
Taking Candy...
From A Baby.
[Cartoon Playing]
Abby: Ok, Boomer.
We're Going To A Party,
But Please, Don't
Trash The Room Again.
And Only 10 More
Minutes Of Tv.
Later, Mac, Sid.
Have Fun.
Where Are You Going?
Yacht Party.
Boy: Come On.
We're Gonna Be Late.
Was That--
Yes.
That Was
The Kneel Diamond.
Wait.
We're Going
To A Party.
Yeah, But I'm
Not Dressed Right.
Al Pacino Wouldn't Have
To Put Up With This.
[Surf Music Playing]
What Do You Call
Australian
Boxer Shorts?
Down Underwear.
Surf-Adelic, Baby.
Why Did The Crocodile
Cross The Road?
Like I Care.
Oh. Am I Supposed
To Say Something Funny?
Something Funny.
Sidney: k*ll The Engine.
Mac: Ok,
Here's The Plan.
I Hack Into
The Ship's Mainframe,
Create A Feedback Loop
Which Knocks Out
The Power Grid.
What?
Why? Am I Being
Tested? Why?
Listen,
Mr. Bill Gates.
We Climb Up
The Ladder,
We Grab
The Diamond,
And We Get Back
In The Boat.
Fine, Fine.
Do It Your Way.
God, You're So Eighties.
You Wanna Dance?
Um, I'll
Be Right Back.
Maddie, You're
Really Pretty.
Thanks, You're
Really Pretty, Too.
I Mean...
I'll Be Right Back.
You Just Gave Him
The Cheek?
I Gave Him The Cheek.
Defensive Maneuver 41.
Well, I Don't Care[I] How
Popular Johnny Is,
He's A Dorko Dancer
With Bad Breath.
I Mean, I'd Rather Hang
With Pete And Avery
[I] Any Day Of The Week.
[Both Giggling]
Victoria: This Is
A Closed Party.
Invitation Only.
Must Have Left It
In My Other Wet Suit.
Just What Do You Think
You're Doing Here?
We Heard There Were
Some Babes On Board.
If I Catch You
On Our Beach Again,
Or Anywhere
Near Us, I'll...
What?
Finish A Sentence?
That's It.
We're Done Talking.
Wait.
No Fighting
On Daddy's Boat.
Too Messy.
I've Got
A Better Idea.
A Surf w*r
On Sunday.
Winner
Takes The Beach.
Loser Moves
Down To D.Y.
Deal.
Shake?
Now Get Off
Daddy's Boat.
Our Pleasure.
Boy: See You On Sunday.
All Right, Everybody.
Back To The Party.
Ah, The Motor Is Dead.
Ah, Great. Flooded.
Let's Get Underway.
Yes, Miss Victoria.
Raise Anchor.
Look Out, Mac!
Oh, sh**t!
Watch Out!
[Both Screaming]
[Gasping]
Sharks, Sharks.
Sharks!
David Hasselhoff Never
Had To Deal With This.
What?
Shh.
Over Here.
No. I'm Not Going.
No. I'm Sorry. No.
Please, Please,
Please, Please--
No. I'm Not Going.
Please.
No. These Are
My New Boots.
Please.
♪ On The Inside ♪
♪ Do You Know? ♪
♪ Well, I'm Sure
Of That ♪
♪ We Could Be Riding On
The Waves Of The Ocean ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Playin' To The Beat
Of A Heart ♪
♪ Hey, Now, Now ♪
♪ Don't You Know? ♪
♪ It's Not Really
That Complicated ♪
♪ Hey, Now, Now ♪
♪ You Come And Go ♪
♪ It's So Hard For Me
To Sleep At Night ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Hey, Now, Now ♪
♪ Don't You Know? ♪
♪ It's Not Really
That Complicated ♪
♪ Hey, Now, Now ♪
♪ You Come And Go...♪
That Was Fun.
Thank You.
Thanks
For The Ride.
Sorry About Your Shoes.
It's Ok.
They Were Ugly
Anyway.
Uh, We Don't Want
To Rush Anything,
But...
Tomorrow's Saturday.
You Guys
Got Any Plans?
Abby: No. What Did
You Have In Mind?
♪ If I Came To You
With Nothing ♪
♪ But A Story
Of My Life ♪
♪ Would You Listen?
Would You Listen? ♪
♪ Give A Moment ♪
♪ Of Your Time? ♪
♪ And I'll Tell You ♪
♪ If I Came To You
With Nothing ♪
♪ But The Stories
Of My Life ♪
♪ Would You Listen?
Would You Listen?
♪ Give A Moment ♪
♪ Of Your Time ♪
♪ And I'll Tell You ♪
♪ We'll Get Through ♪
♪ Just Fine ♪
♪ If I Came To You... ♪
I Don't See Why
We Just Can't
Tell Them The Truth.
You Mean
That We're In
The Witness
Protection Program?
Oh, That's
A Big Turn-On For Guys.
"Hey. Wanna Go
See A Movie?
"Oh, And By The Way,
We're Wanted
Dead Or Alive."
Mustard?
Both: No Condiments!
I Mean, We've Been Here
For 2 Months Already,
And Nothing
Has Happened.
I'm Sick
Of Living A Lie.
I'm Sick
Of Being Paranoid.
Gotcha!
Gotcha!
[I] The Tenors.
[I] Sopranos.
I Knew They Were
The Bad Guys.
Keep Your Mouth Shut
And You Might Live
To Talk About This.
That's Such
An Old Line.
Honey, I Got
A License To k*ll.
So? I Have
A Learner's Permit.
Both: Run!
Now It Gets Personal.
Run!
Why?
Chase Sequence! Run!
Out Of The Way!
Out Of The Way!
[Bell Ringing]
Hey, Give Me Back
My Bike!
Hi, Vic.
Bye, Vic.
How's It Going?
Hey, What's Up?
Get In!
Since When
Did You Learn
How To Drive?
Since This Scene,
Apparently.
[Both Panting]
I'm Getting
Too Old For This.
Well, Thanks
For The Ride, Guys.
Yeah! See
You Later!
Uh, Girls?
Is There Something
You Want To Tell Us?
Like?
Like Why
We're Being Chased
By 2 Inept th*gs?
Right! Excellent
Question.
Molly?
Maddie!
Both: Whatever!
Look, You Guys
Are Cool.
And We Like You
A Lot, But...
We're In...
We're In...
Trouble.
But We Can't Say
Any More Than That.
Well, Is There Anything
We Can Do To Help?
Right Now,
We Kinda Just
Have To Help
Ourselves.
But We'll
Tell You About It
When The Time
Is Right.
But For Now,
You Guys Are Just
Gonna Have
To Trust Us.
Done.
Say No More.
We're Working
On That Skill.
Abby: Well,
Looks Like We're Gonna
Have To Call
The Fbi.
Are You Joking?
We Can't Ask
Mom And Dad
To Pick Up
Their Lives Again.
I Mean, I'm Tired
Of Running.
We Made This Mess,
Now Let's
Clean It Up.
I'm Open.
Ok, Well, First
We Have To Get Rid
Of Katie For
A Couple Of Hours.
Katie: Great, Girls!
I've Got A Scuba Lesson
In A Half An Hour.
Can You Man
The Reception For
The Rest Of The Day?
Thanks!
Both: Sure!
That Was Easy!
Now What?
We Pool
Our Resources.
[Swing Music Playing]
♪ Jump, Shake,
Rattle, And Roll ♪
♪ Get Ready,
I'm Ready To Go ♪
♪ And Jump, Shake,
Rattle, And Roll ♪
♪ Get Ready, Ready To Go ♪
♪ Let's Jump, Shake,
Rattle, And Roll Tonight ♪
[Rick Whistling]
Teri:
Honey, Do You Think
The Girls
Are All Right?
I'm Sure Everything's
Under Control.
[Sighs]
I'm So Glad You Talked Me
Into Doing This.
It's So Relaxing.
Are You Sure
You Got
This Tent
Set Up Right?
Oh, Honey! I've Done This
A Million Times.
Of Course...
Not Successfully--
Whoa!
Ow!
Let's Get Ready
To Rumble.
Uh...Uh...
Ow!
Hmm! That Was Easy.
Lipburst?
Sure.
Now What?
You Gonna Talk?
I Don't Wanna Have
To Get Rough Here.
Never!
Tell Us Why
You're After Us!
Mm-Mmm!
Abby: Looks
Like Someone's
Giving Us The
Silent Treatment.
Is There Anything
You Wanna Say?
Mm-Mm-Mmm!
Are You Looking
For A Way
To Go Glam
One Day
And Natural
The Next?
You Wouldn't Dare.
He Obviously Doesn't
Know Us Very Well.
Hmm!
They Still Won't Talk.
Mm-Mm-Mmm!
Ok!
Didn't Want To Have
To Resort To This.
You Wouldn't Dare.
Wouldn't I?
Ok, Twinkle Toes.
Spill It!
They Still Won't Talk.
Now What?
Ta-Da!
I Like It!
Me, Too!
No.
Yes!
No!
No!
Yes!
No, You Couldn't.
Yes!
No!
Mm-Hmm!
No, You Wouldn't!
No, Not That! No!
I'll Talk!
[Cell Phone Ringing]
[Deep Voice]
Hello?
This Is Hatchew.
You Idiots Have
The Kneel Diamond Yet?
Please Hold.
He Thinks We Have
The Kneel Diamond.
What Would Make Him
Think That?
Hatchew:
Hello? Hello!
No!
Yes.
You Mean--
We Had It All Along!
Hello!
That's What
You've Been After?
Bingo.
Bingo.
This Is
A Long Distance Call!
Hey, Hatchew?
Now, Don't Be Mad,
But I've Got
Both Your Men
Tied To Surfboards.
Don't! They'll
k*ll Us!
Oh, And
The Kneel Diamond
Looks Great
Around My Neck,
Especially
With Casual Wear.
Oy!
What--
What Are You,
A Blabbermouth?!
So, I Guess
You're Just
Gonna Have
To Come Over Here
And Get It Yourself.
Otherwise, I'm Gonna
Go[I] Titanic On You
And Throw
The Diamond
Into The Ocean.
Have A Great Trip!
Oh, And By The Way,
I Recommend Qantas.
It's A Long Flight.
I Assume
You've Got A Plan?
Uh...Sort Of.
A Couple Of Kids!
Yuri, Get Me
My Travel Agent...
Cousin Boris.
I'm Going To Australia.
Good! You Know,
When You Flush
The Toilet There,
The Water Spins
The Opposite Way!
You Two Seem
Like Nice Guys.
How Did You Ever Get
Into This Line Of Work?
Family Business,
You Know?
Well, Actually,
I'm Starting Up
An Internet
Business.
Again With
The Internet?!
It Seems Like
You Guys Should
Just Play
To Your Strengths.
Like?
Like You're
Bad Guys? Duh!
So Why Not
Badguys.Com?
Right! Like A Temp
Service, But For g*ons.
No Offense.
None Taken.
Oh! And You Guys
Can Have,
Like, Bad Guy Stuff.
What Kind Of Stuff
Do You Guys Use?
Brass Knuckles,
Thumb Screws.
Sp43 Eavesdropping
Devices!
Shiny Suits,
Dark Glasses!
Pinkie Rings!
Yeah!
I Think We're On
To Something Here.
I Really Do.
Hello?
Hello?
Look At Me!
Abby: All My
Stuff Worked!
Good Teamwork!
That's It! You Girls
Are So Out Of Our Group!
No, Vic, You're
So Out Of Ours.
Ooh!
Whatever!
Boy, What A Crank!
I Know. Isn't She?
Well, We Better
Take Off
Before Hatchew
Gets Here.
Otherwise,
He'll Throw Our Bums
On The Barbie And
Have Us For Brekkie.
I Have No Idea Where
That Came From.
Are You Sure You Guys
Don't Wanna Stick Around?
Help Us
Catch Hatchew?
You Mean,
Go Straight?
Turn To The Side
Of Good?
Away From The
Darkness Of Evil?
Can You Imagine
A Day Where I Escort
A Little Old Lady
Across The Street?
Help Abandoned
Puppies
Find New Homes?
And Work
For The Good
Of All Mankind?
Uh, No.
Me, Either.
Bye!
Good Luck!
See Ya Later!
Stroke! Stroke!
Stroke!
Oh! Welcome Back,
Agent Banner.
Thank You, Norm.
How Are You Feeling?
Better Than Ever.
[Beeper Chiming]
Boomer, Can You
Turn It Down?
Well?
[Tv Plays]
I Beeped Agent Banner,
Left A Message.
The Fbi Should Be Here
Within Hours.
Banner:
That's It! I Quit!
I'm Gone.
I'm Out Of Here!
Hope That
Wasn't Important.
Well, The Surf
w*r's Tomorrow.
I Really Hope
The Fbi Shows Up
Before Hatchew.
Don't Worry.
It's All Under Control.
They Catch Hatchew
Making Off With The Diamond,
He Goes To Jail,
We All Go Home.
Shh! Us Going Home
Depresses Him.
[Whimpers]
No. He Just
Lost The Remote.
P.A.: Your Attention,
Please.
All Surf w*r Contestants
Please Sign In
If You've Not
Already Done So.
The Competition
Is About To Begin.
G'day, Everybody!
I'm Milo Mendaboonder,
And I'm Reporting
For The Surf Channel.
Here We Are Today,
Live At Manly Beach,
Where Stakes Are High
As 2 Teams Will Vie
For The Control
Of The Beach.
And If
I'm Not Mistaken,
Here Are
Some Contestants Now.
G'day, Milo!
Thank You Very Much!
He, Uh,
Lives On The Beach.
Thinks He's On Tv.
[Whistles]
Abby: Hey, Lenny,
Sheila, Wait Up!
Look...
I Just Really
Wanna Apologize
For...Blabbing.
What I Did
Was Awful And...
I Hope You Can
Forgive Me
And We Can Still
Be Friends?
It's All Right!
You Forced Lenny
And I To Declare
Our Undying Love
For Each Other.
We're Getting Married!
What?!
Joking! You Septic Tanks
Are So Gullible!
Today We Stick It
To Those Surfies!
Bury Those Big Nerds!
Obliterate Those Bludgers
And Blot Out
Those Boofheads!
We're Gonna Destroy
Those Drongos!
Demolish Those Dipsticks!
Nullify Those Nimrods,
And Wipe Out
Those Wimps! Argh!
She Spit The Dummy.
Chucked A Spazz.
Uh, All Right, Then.
Well, Let's Just Win
This Thing, Shall We?
All Right,
Well, This Is It.
For All The Marbles,
It's Us Against Them,
A Chance To Take The Beach
And Make Surfing History.
But It's More
Than A Competition,
Mates!
It's A Chance To Be
Part Of Nature,
To Float On Air!
It's Not
Just A Sport,
It's An Art Form.
See The Wave,
Ride The Wave...
Be The Wave!
I Know, I Know!
But He's So Cute!
Oh, My! A Very Strong Wind
Has Picked Up.
We're In For
Some Powerhouse Surfing!
[Crowd Cheering]
And With The Whistle,
Surf Wars 2000 Is Underway!
Both: Go, Pete!
Both: Go, Avery! Whoo!
Go, Ray!
Right!
In All My Years, I've
Never Seen Finer Surfing.
This Reporter
Is Very Impressed.
Milo! I've Been
Looking For This!
There's Only One Surfer
Left--Young Jake Guligan,
The Best Surfer
Here Today,
But He Needs A Perfect 10
From All 3 Judges.
Wait. What's This?
A Crisis In Store
For The Surfies.
[Jake Moaning]
Jake, What Happened?
Oh, My Widgey!
I Bent
My Widgey!
Oh, What Are We
Gonna Do Now, Pete?
Well, He Can't Surf
In This Condition!
Abby!
Me?! Enter The Contest?
Aw, My Widgey!
Me Poor Widgey!
[Crowd Cheering]
It's Not About Winning.
It's About Trying.
Pete: Yeah, So Just
Remember To Bend
Your Knees And Keep
Your Weight Balanced
On The Center
Of Your Board.
You Can Do It,
Agnes!
It's Abby!
Crowd: Whatever!
The Tension Is So Thick,
You Can Cut It
With A Knife!
In All My Years,
I've Never Seen
Anything So Intense--
Hey! What--No!
With One Competitor To Go,
The Surfies
Need A Perfect Score.
That's Three 10s!
The Fate Of Manly Beach
Hangs In The Balance! Aah!
Go, Abby!
You Can Do It!
You Can Do It, Abby!
Go, Abby!
Boo!
We Won!
Let's Go.
I'm Sorry We Lost.
Avery: Oh,
Forget The Contest!
You Were Awesome
Out There!
Thanks.
D.Y. Has Some
Pretty Good Waves Anyway.
Yeah, Come On! Let's
Go Down To D.Y.
Party At D.Y.!
Who's Coming?
[Crowd Cheering]
Look, You Guys! I Won
This Beach! We Won!
What's The Matter
With You?!
This Is[I] My Beach!
I Won This Beach!
Guys! Hello?
Come On.
Maddie: Well, All
Things Considered,
I Think Things
Have Worked Out
Pretty Well.
All The Loose Ends
Have Been Tied Up.
All The Ts
Have Been Crossed,
All The Is
Have Been Dotted,
And The Cake's
Out Of The Oven
Waiting
For The Icing.
Uh, I Think You Forgot
About Something.
So, We Finally
Meet Again, Girls!
I Believe
You Have Something
That Belongs To Me.
Not So Fast,
Hatchew.
All: Bless You!
Abby: Ok! Fbi Guys?
You Can Come Out Now!
Agent Banner?
Agent Norm?
Agent Anyone?
Great Plan.
Let's Keep This Brief.
Hey!
Ah, Nice Work.
You Might Have A Career
Ahead In Jewelry Making.
Oh, Like Compliments
Are Going To Make Up
For All
Your Bad Behavior.
I Tried.
Hmm!
Hmm!
Ah! My Ride Is Here.
Turn Them
Into Shark Bait.
Bye-Bye!
Hmm!
Hmm!
You Want Them? Huh?
You Gotta Go
Through Us.
Ain't That Right,
Avery?
Avery?
Avery: I Know I Said
I Wouldn't Pry, But...
Does This Have
Anything To Do
With That Trouble
You're In?
Both: Hmm!
Sidney: Hey,
Frankenstein!
Why Don't You
Pick On Somebody
Your Own Size?
What Are You Guys
Doing Here?
We Were Wondering If You
Could Touch Up Our Nails.
I Seem To Have
Broke Mine!
Go, Go, Go!
Look,
He's Getting Away!
Go On! Don't Wait!
No, He's Not!
Can I Borrow That?
Certainly.
[Aboriginal Music Playing]
Nice Shot!
Thanks.
Good Work, Girls.
Let's Get Him.
Why Is Everyone
Showing Up
All Of A Sudden?
Duh! Big Finale!
Katie: Emil Hatchew,
You're Under Arrest!
Both: What?!
Agent Katherine Smith,
Fbi, At Your Service.
Fbi?
I Was Assigned To Look
After You All Along,
Wait For Hatchew To Make
His Move On The Diamond.
All This Trouble
For This?
Exactly.
What Is A Diamond
Really?
Well, Actually
It's Fused Carbon
Compressed Under
The Earth's Surface
For Tens Of Millions
Of Years.
She's Right.
And You Thought
I Had All
The Brainy
Lines?
Well, Now There's
Only One Thing Left To Do.
[Playing Swing Music]
Whoo!
♪ We Got The Beat,
So Move Your Feet ♪
♪ Come On,
Get On With The Show ♪
♪ There's No Excuse,
You're On The Loose ♪
So Everything
Worked Out After All,
And Mom And Dad
Were Psyched To Go Home.
Mom Was So Happy,
She Decided
To Give Up Smoking
Once And For All.
Mac And Sidney Got A Piece
Of The Reward Money,
So Sidney Was Able
To Retire To Miami Beach
And Write His Memoirs--
[I] I'm Ugly, You're Ugly Too.
And Mac Was Able To Start
His Internet Company.
And He Finally Expressed
His True Feelings
Towards Katie.
Well, You Can't Blame
A Guy For Trying.
And Victoria? Well,
She Said She Was Sorry.
Sorry, Sheila.
Sorry, Sheila.
Sorry, Sheila.
Sorry, Sheila.
And We Finally
Got To Dance
With The Coolest Guys
In The Movie.
♪ We Got The Beat,
So Move Your Feet ♪
Well, What
Have We Learned
From All This?
Crime[I] Really
Doesn't Pay.
And Being A Blabbermouth
Is Very Uncool.
And Life's Not
About Being Popular,
It's About
Being Yourself.
And That's Fair Dinkum!
Narrator: And So
Ends One Of The Most
Unusual Cases
In The History
Of The Federal Witness
Protection Program.
Our Witnesses Cleverly
And Bravely Managed
To Recover The Priceless
Kneel Diamond,
Capture Emil Hatchew,
And Throw The Most
Awesome, Rocking
Beach Party Ever.
Witnesses 9235 And 9236
Were Returned Home
To Los Angeles
With The Grateful Thanks
Of Their Country.
And This Concludes
Another Tale
In The Annals Of The Witness
Protection Program.
Thank You,
And Drive Safely.
Parker Sisters Day!
Come On, I--
Nyah!
Nyah!
Ow! Sorry!
Second Cousin Basher!
A Movie Deal!
Third Cousin
Twice Removed--Ooh!
♪ Move Up The Road ♪
♪ To The Outside
Of Town ♪
♪ And Sound Of
That Good Gospel Beat ♪
Bliterate Those Bludges!
Destroy Those Drungos!
Demonish--[Laughs]
So I Put On
Me Jumper
And Hoed
Into Some Tuckey.
♪ Brother Love's
Traveling ♪
♪ Salvation
Show ♪
♪ Pack Up
The Babies ♪
♪ And Grab
The Old Ladies ♪
♪ Everyone
Goes... ♪
But My Brekkie
Had Chicken Snacks,
So I Don't Like
To Complain--
I Mean Whinge--
[Giggling] I'm Sorry.
I Have So Much Toast
In My Mouth, I Can't Talk.
I'm Sorry!
Sorry!
Sorry! Ok, Ok!
♪ Eyes Black
As Coal ♪
♪ And When He
Lifts His Face ♪
♪ Every Eye
In The Place ♪
♪ Is On Him ♪
♪ Staring Soft And Slow ♪
Invitation Only!
Must Have Left It
In My, Um, Belly--
That's Some
Powerful Ketchup.
Ow! Sorry.
My Shoe Got Caught.
Boomer--Ok!
Boomer.
Mary-Kate!
♪ Everyone Knows ♪
♪ Brother Love's
Show ♪
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Brothers! ♪
♪ I Said
Brothers! ♪
I'm Sorry, But I Can't
Do--[Starts Mumbling]
[Crew Laughing]
♪ Take My Hand In Yours ♪
It's All
In The Wrist. Huh?
Oh, Sure, It Is!
Good-Bye!
Run!
Why?
Oh, I'm Sorry,
I'm So Sorry!
G'day, Everybody!
I'm Milo Mindabunder--
Sorry, Mingabunder!
♪ Brother Love's
Traveling Salvation Show ♪
[Ring]
There's No Phone.
Boomer.
Stop Looking!
Boomer.
Mary-Kate:
I Didn't Make One Face,
So I Don't Know
Why She Smiled!
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Our Lips Are Sealed (2000)
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