I, Cesar (2003)

[bunniefuu]

[Hubbub of voices.]

-- If I'm going to tell my
story from the beginning,

I'd have to say that it all began
on this particular, unusual Wednesday.

My mother told my father that I shouldn't come,

because kids shouldn't attend a funeral.

But my father did not listen to my mother.

I found that it really was traumatic,

at least for the others.

As for me, I thought it was kind of entertaining.

Why should it bother me?
Death is a problem of adults.

It's fun to watch grownups cry like babies.

What made me sad were the
tears on my mother's cheeks.

The dead man was one of my
father's business associates.

Norbert Chouraki.

I quickly realized that his sudden
departure was not all that unfortunate.

It seemed to me that the trouble would stick around.

-- Stop now, that's enough.

It also made me realize that sorrow was not worth the effort.

-- He knew that the secret of
health is a full and active life.

He was very generous and very honest.

[Thunder]
-- But that's not what my mother thought.

She told my father:

"Your business with him
is all going sour."

In the days that followed,
I found she was right.

The events that followed
triggered a change in me.

But at my age, things change every day.

-- Norbert was a man of spirit and a man of heart.

-- My name is César.
My mother wanted to call me Romain,

my father preferred Jules.

They reached a compromise: César.

I realized why they named me César.

Lots of dogs are called that.

Simple as that.

My name is César.

That was the first-name they chose for me.

And my family name is Petit.

So there you are, my name is César Petit.

[Male voice in the next room.]

-- César!

-- The cops won't like hearing the truth!
-- Bertrand, not now.

Go get the bread and then wash your hands.

-- I like it when they
send me out for the bread.

I love looking into the bakery window.

So many colors.
They're like painted sculptures.

My parents do not know about this passion. It's my secret.

Children are anxious to grow up

because we are fed up with being looked down upon.

-- Monsieur?
-- Excuse me.

-- Oh, sorry, little guy. I didn't see you there. What do you want?

-- One baguette.

Around adults, you have to act like a sweet little gentleman.

-- And also a 'little darling.'
-- Shall I slice the loaf, little darling?

-- No, thanks.

But why are children always
addressed so familiarly?

Why so informal?

-- Is that all, honey?

-- Plus they never bother acting polite with young people.

-- One chocolate pastry.

-- A little gourmet!

-- Kiss my a*s.

At school, I've never tried to distinguish myself.

It would piss off my friends.

But to be at the bottom of the class
would have pissed off my parents.

I have decided not to piss off anyone.

I am ten and a half years old,
I am four foot, seven inches tall,

I am a bit chubby.

I'm glad that no one has noticed my weakness for pastries.

If I could do anything I wanted, I would eat nothing but sweets.

I'd much rather have sweet flavors than salty.

Frankly, salt is just something
to sprinkle on your food.

Sugar, however, is a total pleasure.

It's important to be a bit modest
when you are a little different.

I can modestly say I am rather well built.

Chubby people are bashful because
sometimes other people make fun of them.

I would have liked

to have had the muscles

of my friend Morgan Boulanger.

And maybe then Sarah Delgado,

the prettiest girl in the school,
would have liked me.

And there I was, standing like an idiot,

almost naked in front of her.

She had just arrived in my class 15 days before.

If I had a chance of getting her to notice me,

it wouldn't be because of my body.
But at ten years old, immature,

she could not understand that.

-- So, do you have a problem?
-- I don't want to swim today.

-- Why not?
-- I have a stomachache.

-- Only girls use that excuse.
You aren't a girl, are you?

Into the swimming pool!

-- No!

I quickly realized that my
sports skills were quite limited.

It's unbelievable, all the different
sports that I could not possibly do.

Children are so often pushed to succeed

where their parents have failed.

I was forced to participate in activities

that did not match my natural aptitude.

Ay yi yi!

-- Oh, that piano is hopeless!

-- No, you show a lot of progress.
Continue, my dear.

-- He is wasting his time,
and I'm wasting my money.

-- His teacher told me that he must continue.

-- Of course! She wants her fees!
Just stop making out the checks.

It's over.
César, stop that now!

-- He can do it.
-- No, he has two left hands.

-- He has a very fine ear.
-- You don't play the piano with your ears.

[Rap music]

[Someone knocks firmly at the door.]

-- And suddenly everything sped up.
I remember . . .

It was a Monday night.

-- Bertrand Petit?

-- Yes. That's my father.

-- Is he home?

-- Papa?

-- What? What is it?

-- Police.
Can we have a talk?

-- About what?
-- Your business associate.

-- Norbert Chouraki.
-- Norbert who?

-- Go to your room.
-- No.

-- Go!

-- Grownups have the authority to order
kids around without giving explanations.

-- Turn that thing off!

-- Can I offer you a drink?
-- No.

-- You have some questions for me?
-- Yes.

-- Of course. If I can be of any help.
-- It's a very serious matter.

-- Whenever something important was
about to happen, they made me leave.

-- Did they stick around for long?

-- Yes, about two hours.

-- What did they want?
-- I don't know.

-- Your father is not the type to talk to cops.

-- I guess.

[Ring]

-- Hello, Mom?

Yes, I was very surprised.
Yes, I found a beautiful pineapple.

-- Morgan was always cool and calm...

popular, a good student...

He has always been my best friend.

He never knew his father,
and he lives alone with his mother.

His mother works nights in the hospital,

and he only sees her on the weekends.

When he leaves for school, she is sleeping,

and when he gets home from
school, she is already at work.

What a dream!

-- César!

Fish . . . or meat?

-- Both.
-- Won't that be too much?

-- No.

-- And for dessert, "fruities" or "gummies"?

-- Both.

Once a week, my parents allowed
me to sleep over at Morgan's.

Since he had some independence,
he matured faster than me.

Plus, he could play sports.

I thought Morgan lived the good life.

[Music from "Pulp Fiction"]

-- We must give the child

a chance to speak.
Take the children seriously!

-- Have you memorized that poem?

-- Who is she bullshitting?

-- ''...Piteously let their great white wings,

Draggle like oars beside them.

This winged traveler..."

-- I learned that the word 'mistress' does not

have the same meaning to an adult.

To a grown man, a mistress is a woman
who he wants and who he sees in secret.

I did not see our school mistress in secret,

but I did want her.

I wondered how she was dressed...

...underneath.

-- Splendid!

Go on back to your seat, dear.

-- Let's see...

Who will be next?

César, come up to the desk.

-- Oh sh*t!

-- Do you know your poem?
-- A little.

-- A little? If you don't know it, you'll get a zero.

-- I know it.

-- Very well.

Let's all listen.

-- "The Albatross"...

by Baudelaire...

Charles.


-- When you're ready.

-- Sometimes . . .

-- Morgan, sit still!
Sarah, switch seats with him, please.

Without knowing it, my mistress
gave me the best gift I could imagine:

to spend the rest of the school year
just inches away from Sarah Delgado.

It might have been that thought which inspired me.

"Sometimes, for sport, the men of the crew

Catch those great birds of the seas, the albatrosses,

Lazy companions of the sea, who follow

The ship that slips through bitter gulfs.

Hardly have they put them on the deck,

Than these kings of the skies . . . "

-- Than these kings . . .

"Than these kings of the skies,
awkward and ashamed,

Piteously let their great white wings

Draggle like oars beside them.

This winged traveler, how weak he becomes and limp!

He who of late was so beautiful,

how comical and ugly!

Someone teases his beak
with a branding iron,

Another mimics, limping,
the crippled flyer!

The Poet is like this
prince of the clouds,

Haunting the tempest and
taunting the archer;

Exiled on earth amongst the shouting people,

His giant's wings hinder him from walking."

-- Very good. Well done!

Not bad.

Ummm... 7!

-- 7? Why only a 7, b*tch?!

-- Good. All right, who's next?
You, come to the desk!

-- You really memorized it?
-- Well, no.

-- Me, I would have given you a 10.

--To see or listen to a passage just once,
and to be able to quote it,

that was something I loved doing.

That impressed everyone, especially Sarah.

-- Hello.

-- Hello.

-- What have you got there?

-- Your father's suitcase.

-- How come?
-- I'm going on a trip.

-- What kind of trip?

-- Business.

-- You're going by train?

-- No, by plane.

Move over, you're in the way.

-- That man, who is he?

-- I don't know when I'm coming home.

You take care of your mother.

From now on, you're the man of the house, okay?

-- Okay.

While trying not to upset me,
he treated me like an idiot.

The man looked like a plain-clothes cop.

Under his jacket he hid his police
badge, his g*n, and a heart of stone.

-- Well, ready to go?

--I was sure I would not see my father again,

and the next time I did see him,
I'd be an adult, and he'd be an old man.

I tried to freeze this last image so that it
remained etched on my mind for as long as possible.

-- Don't you have anything to do?
-- Sure.

-- But where is Papa going?
-- To work.

-- My father is in prison.

-- What?

-- I swear it's true.
They came to get him yesterday at home.

He told me he was leaving on a trip.
Don't tell anybody.

-- What did he do?
-- Got into debt, I think.

-- You can go to jail for that?
They must have been really big debts.

-- Why kind of work did he do?
-- I've never understood what he does.

He sold things that he didn't buy,
and he bought things that he didn't sell.

My mother is always bitching at him.
She tells him, "You'll end up in big trouble."

-- In prison, the b*stard!

Stop it, guys!

How would you like to end up in jail, like César's father?

-- sh*t.

As the day went on, I became a celebrity.

-- Hey!

-- Hey.

-- See you tomorrow, César.

-- Hey, César!

-- If anyone starts bothering you,
you just let me know.

-- Okay.

-- Where is he? At Fresnes, Fleury?
-- I dunno.

-- La Santé?
-- La Santé, that would be cool.

-- You okay?

-- Yeah, I'm okay... I think.

Sarah Delgado. For a normal boy,

it was impossible not to fall in love with her.

But love, at age 10, what is that?
It's simple.

Stare, smile . . .
stare, walk . . .

Stare . . . stare,

and stay silent.

You see, before I met Sarah,
I knew more than two words.

-- Have you lived in this neighborhood for a long time?

-- Uh... yeah.

-- Since you were born?

-- Uh... yeah.

-- And you like it here?

-- Uh... yeah.

-- Have you ever wanted to move elsewhere?

-- Well... I don't know.

-- I've already moved four times.

It's not cool to move around all the time.

-- Yeah, I guess.

-- Here we are.
I live here.

Those two, over there, they're my parents.

-- Oh! How are you, love?

-- Sweetie!

Okay? Hello.
This is one of your school pals?

-- What's your name?

-- César.

-- Nice to meet you.
César what?

-- Petit.
-- Oh, yeah?

-- I've got to run!
See you next week?

Promise?

-- I promise.

And...
Poof!

-- See you, César !

-- He's going on a trip?
-- No, they are divorced.

-- Say goodbye to César.

-- You want my cake?

-- I'm not hungry.

-- Force yourself to have some.

-- Mom?
-- Yes.

-- Papa... when you have
the baby, he'll come back?

-- Of course.
Why do you say such silly things?

-- I've always had trouble falling asleep.

I think about lots of things,

not always pleasant things.

I can see the inside of my head.

[Music from "Pulp Fiction"]

-- Papa! Mom!

Papa!

-- Are you sure this is the only one?

-- If you take a sh*t in Paris, you go to prison in Paris,

and not in Lyons.

-- Woo Hoo!

[Whistling.]

-- Open your notebooks.
Pop quiz.

-- Couldn't we have avoided this...

-- Petit, César,

to the Director's office.

-- Go on!

-- Come in.

Ah, César!

Come in, come in.

César Petit...

Sit down.

Now...

I've looked at your grades.
You're not a bad student.

Quite the opposite.

A little treat?

I think you can do better.
That is also what your school mistress has written.

"Could do better."
We agree?

-- Yes.

-- However, you are very good at recitation.

You have an excellent memory?

Well, that's fine!

Does your mother work?
-- She used to work part time.

She took a year off for maternity leave.

-- Maternity leave.

And your dad?

Does he work?

-- At the moment, no.

-- Why isn't he working at the moment?

-- He is ...

He has ...

He lives away from home.

-- Where does he live?

-- I don't know, exactly.

-- You mean to say that he was retained...
I mean, detained.

-- Uh...

-- Imprisoned?

That must be very hard,
isn't it?

-- Yes.

-- But you are a strong lad.
That's easy to see, my boy.

-- I try.

-- You know,

if you need to speak to a grownup,

I am always here.

Just knock on the door and we
can have a chat like two pals.

I am the Director, but I am
also a guy, just like you.

We agree?

-- Yes, sir.

-- You can go now.

-- "Papa, since you left, everything is going fine at home.

And at school, I have
decided to get better grades.

I miss you, but I'm doing okay.

Whatever you did, I would not have wanted

any other father, and I am proud of you.

I am taking care of mother,
just like you asked.

I help her around the house; I tidy up...

I'd like to know when you will come home,

but I understand that it's not up to you.

Even if it takes years, I will wait for you.

I hope that you are eating well
and that you have made some friends.

I send you lots and lots and lots of hugs...
César."

Can you mail it?

-- Have you written a letter to your Papa?
Why did you do that?

-- So he could read it.

-- If that's what you want.
-- See you later.

[Funk music.]

-- No, no.

Attention!

I said attention!

Very good, girls.

I remind you that you are supposed to be a group.

A group, with everyone together.

Together,

Respect for others.

Maximum respect.

Chafik, it looks like you're angry with everybody.

Happy face, big guy!

Do the wave, like this.

Like this.

Move your body.

It's not difficult.

-- I'm tired.

-- Use your mental energy.

-- We can't stand your music.

-- Take Morgan, for example.

Morgan, you are the best.

We must work so that everyone will be ready.

There is no show without an effort.

Do the show!

I want, I win, I dance.

César, if you are tired,
you can go rest.

-- I have to admit that being thought
of as a victim has some advantages.

-- Chafik, I was talking to César.
You keep going.

-- I had some special privileges.

[Rap music.]

-- And then?

No, Saturday is okay. No problem.

I'm doing fine.

I miss you, too.

I'll pass the phone over to him now.

Papa.
Do you want to talk to him?

-- Hello?

-- César, how are you?

-- Where are you calling from?

-- I am in Marseille.

-- Yes, but where exactly?
-- At Auntie Marie's house.

The unexpected news made the blood rush right to my head.

-- We're here at the end of the platform.

Under the canopy.

I don't see you. Do you see your papa?
-- No.

-- There you are, I see you.

-- I was so screwed.

And this was just the beginning.

-- What's this?

-- What is this letter?

-- "I miss you, but I'm doing okay."

Have you been having the blues?

-- Well, not really.

-- "You are still my father, and I am proud of you."

What did you think was going on?

-- Nothing, just your work.

-- Why are you proud of me?
-- Just because.

-- Okay...

"I hope that you are eating well,

and that you have made some friends."

-- Okay, well, you were so busy
when you were in Marseille,

you didn't get a chance to make any friends over there.

[Cell phone.]

-- Hello?

Hi.

No, no... no.

-- That's great, Lola.
As usual, 18!

Chafik!

"I leave the world of childhood for that of adults."

You're sure?



-- César Petit!

-- Get moving, César!

-- Bertrand.

-- There, that's my right as a 'convict.'

-- You might have a broken eardrum.

You've got the right to file a complaint.

-- And you can talk to lawyers.

-- How could I do that?
-- You could go see Carole Bouquet; she's famous.

But she's probably busy.

-- Where does she live?

-- Hey, your father got quite a tan in prison!

Needless to say, at school,

my credibility took a severe blow.

-- You should have called 9-1-1.
-- Then he'd go to jail.

-- What did I ever do to you?
Would you care to tell me?

Don't touch anything!

I've met kids who were liars,

unbalanced, violent,

psychopaths, but you,
your case is one for the annals.

-- What are those, the annals?
-- What are they?

Such crazy talk!
I will teach you what they are!

I am watching you closely.
Do you understand?

We had a week of vacation for the feast of the Ascension.

But it was I who ended up in jail.
No freedom,

no Morgan, and worst of all,
no Sarah.

Eight days in the middle of nowhere.

An exile decreed by my father and my mother--

for my own good.

If they ever have another child,
they won't repeat the same mistakes.

And then I realized something.

My mother got pregnant so that they could
have a second chance at being parents.

Me, I was just a rough draft.

-- Are we going to be there soon?
-- Certainly, my dear.

-- Why did you tell him that?
We're only half way there.

The countryside is beautiful,
but why does it have to be so far away?

-- How come they're not dead yet, those two?

-- Heel!

Don't worry--they're friendly!

They're just welcoming you.
Get over here, dogs!

-- Papa, tell them to calm down.

It's not exactly next door, your village.

-- Were the roads good?

-- You've grown since the last time I saw you.

-- You're so handsome!
-- You have bad breath.

-- He's such a brat!

-- César, behave yourself!

-- And how is the baby?

You're not fat enough.
Your mother was much bigger.

The baby needs to eat.
-- I'm fine.

Everything's just perfect.

-- So I hear that you have already sent your father off to prison?

-- Without a trial!

-- We'll have to hurry along, because of all the traffic.

-- At least have something to eat first.

-- We'll get you on your way in no time.
-- C'mon!

Come on up to the house!

We never managed to train these dogs.

Look at the garden.

I had to fire the gardener.
It was costing me a fortune.

Stuff was growing everywhere.

-- It was crazy, there used to be a splendid olive tree with olives!

-- I picked them, but it gave me back pains.

-- Okay. We know.

-- But now there's nothing.
-- No.

-- Grandpa is now the 'super-gardener'!

-- Go ahead and eat.

--And above all, don't eat too much.

Don't let him stuff himself, okay?

-- Bertrand!

You be nice and behave yourself.
-- Mom...

Why can't I come with you?

-- Your cousins will arrive tomorrow.

-- They're just a couple of sluts.

-- Come on, you're a big kid, now.

So long, Papa.

-- Whenever it suited them, I was too young,

but now they were abandoning me
out in the middle of nowhere.

-- All right, let's go.

[Mocking Laughter.]

-- May I be excused?

-- But you're not finished.

-- I don't want any more.
-- You don't like my beans?

-- They make me feel like farting.

-- Go ahead and fart. It's good for you.

-- It might make you lose weight.

-- Don't you ever fart?

-- You're being gross!

-- You eat nothing,

but still you're fat.

-- That's enough.

Eat, sweetheart, don't listen to them.

[Audrey and Jennifer laugh.]

-- César, come help me!

[Flatulence.]

[French pop music coming from the next room.]

-- For the first time in
my life, I figured it out.

When you have a hard-on,
it's because of something that you see,

which travels from your eyes to your brain,

and then travels down to make
it very hard between your legs.

-- You can stick it in here, here, or here.

-- There are three places where you can put it?
-- Four when you count the mouth.

-- You mean, like a French kiss?
-- Not just that.

-- Yuck! That's too disgusting!

-- It's sort of like a pipe.
-- A pipe?

-- It's like she is smoking a pipe.

-- Oh, I see!

-- One of the holes is for peeing,
but I'm not sure which one.

-- Yes, and that would be the clitoris.
-- No.

It's kinda like the woman's willy.
-- But they don't have one.

-- Because it's so small, you can't even see it.

-- And which one is the best to use?

-- That depends. Sometimes, the
biggest is the one in the middle.

This is the hole we came out of.
-- It must be huge!

-- It opens and then closes.
-- And that's the as*h*le.

-- Oh! Your drawing is very interesting.

It kind of looks like a mouse.

-- Yeah, it does.

With a pipe?

-- If you like, tonight, I can show you a tape.

[Moaning from the TV set.]

-- So, did you like it?

-- Yeah, sure... but the girls,
they cry out on purpose, right?

-- Not really. That's normal.

That means they are satisfied.

-- They looked like they were possessed.

If I did that, I wouldn't cry out like that.

-- If they don't cry out, that means he missed the hole.

You've never heard your mother cry out?
-- Mostly just my father.

[Students and teachers sing on the bus.]

-- Yeah, I just got a 'satisfactory.'

-- César, move your fat a*s.

-- Hey, don't say that.
It's not fat, César.

-- You don't think it's fat?

-- No, that's just how his body is shaped.

It's just well padded.

It's very cute--just like he is.

-- I think you're in love.

-- Okay, it's all over now. Take a deep breath.

Can I sit up here? Someone's vomited back
there, and I don't want to catch anything.

-- Sure, sit down.

-- Are you okay?

--No, I'm just kidding you.

-- Good. Okay, guys!

You all know that we're going to
visit a sewage treatment plant.

That's where they treat waste water.

It's really going to stink.

-- I can smell it already!
-- No, that's just the bus.

-- My parents wouldn't come with me.

They haven't gotten divorced yet.

-- You are now in front of the aeration tanks.

The water is brown because there are
lots of bacteria and other impurities.

These bacteria need oxygen to live.

We give them plenty of air.
If you fell into these basins,

you'd sink right to the bottom.

Later, we get rid of the bacteria.

-- It's very exciting.

Who wants a panini?

-- No thanks, I have a pizza.

-- César Petit, a little panini?

-- No, I'm not hungry.

-- No, I've lost my appetite.

-- Anyone?

-- Give it here.

-- Here.
-- Fine with me.

I brought a cheese sandwich,
but that wasn't a very good idea.

-- Mmm! These paninis are good.

-- Sarah, why don't you invite your
friends to sleep over at my house.

-- What do you think?

-- Fine with me, but I'll
have to ask permission.

-- Me too.
-- I'll give your parents a call.

Who wants a Lion?
I have some Lions and some Mikados.

Look, they have a ball!
Can we play?

Don't you want to?
--No, well I do!

Hey! Give it here!

I'm going to score!

-- I know why he wants to invite you.

-- How come?

-- He wants me to meet his new girlfriend.

-- He is getting married?

-- No, she's just his latest bimbo.
If you guys are there, it will better.

-- Kick the ball!
-- That's enough!

-- Give it here; I'm in the clear!

-- Did you fix it yet?
-- No, you can bloody well see I have not!

[Sound of running water.]

-- wh*re. b*tch. f*ck.

-- Don't be so rude.

We'll just have buy a new one.

-- What do you mean, buy a new one?

We don't have that kind of money right now!

[The telephone rings.]
-- Who could that be at this time of night?

Hello?

Who is this?

Sarah's dad?

Who's Sarah?
I don't let my kid talk to just anyone who calls.

-- I told you about it before.
Morgan and I were invited to stay over.

-- I gave him permission.

I don't ask for much in life.
Just to get this damned machine working!

[Rap music.]

-- Here we are!

-- Hello, everyone!

-- You should close your...
-- Oh, sorry.

-- Sarah, this is Samantha.

-- Hello.

-- Hello.

-- And here are the little school friends.

-- I'm Sam!

-- Morgan.

-- César.

-- Are you planning to get dressed?

-- But I wanted to get some sun.
-- You've had enough already.

-- No.

Okay, I'll go in and...

-- Yes, go in!
-- Right away.

-- I was always told that divorce was something awful.

Yet, I could see,

as far as Sarah's dad was concerned,

divorce was happy and comfy,

and also a little boring.

-- So, kids, what do your parents all do?

César?

-- I'm not sure what my father does exactly,
and my mother is pregnant.

-- Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?

And you, Morgan?

-- My mother is a nurse.

-- You want some bread?

-- And your father?

-- He is English.

-- That's not a profession.

-- I think he's a journalist in England.

-- You're not sure?

-- Papa! He doesn't know his father!

-- Oh, I see... sh*t.

Sorry...

Those things can happen.

-- He went home to England before I was born.

-- Here you go, César!

-- Thanks.

-- Sarah, my dear!

Morgan, have some.

-- There you go!

-- Bon Ap...

-- ...pétit !

-- Bon appétit.

It's okay to eat this chicken with your fingers!

-- Great!

-- And you, Sam...

-- My parents?

-- No, your movies.

-- I've also done some theater.

-- Ah! Some theater!
What do you think of that?

-- I never get to go.

-- Sam has been in a TV ad for Gouda.

Who knows what Gouda is?

The cheese...

Nobody?

Gouda?

Well, I like Gouda a lot, love.

-- Me, too.

I got a call from my agent.

He's pitching me for a small-budget film.

-- Great! Is it a comedy?
What do you think of that?

Nobody likes comedies?

-- It's set in Brittany, but it's going to be filmed in America.

-- That's interesting.

-- Will it be in California or New York?

-- He didn't say.

-- In America?

A movie set in Brittany? Don't you think he meant
it's a film made "en numérique" [shot digitally]?

[The kids burst out laughing.]

-- Maybe you're right.

En numérique... [digital]

-- "Perhaps he did say, 'en numérique.' "

[Music.]

[Sarah mimics Samantha.]

-- Sarah, your dad!

-- My father adores pizza!

-- Good night.

I see that you're having a great party.

-- Good night!

-- Good night, boys.
Good night, honey.

-- And happy humping!

-- I was miserable. In Sarah's eyes,
Morgan had every reason to be attractive.

He was handsome,

he would laugh at anything,

but why are only good-looking and
smart boys the ones that girls love?

I decided to make my play.

Sarah Delgado was going to sleep over
at my house, and without Morgan.

-- Kids, time for bed.

-- Five minutes.

-- No, you go to bed now.
That film is too violent for you.

-- I'm not sleepy.
-- You will be tomorrow.

-- Oh, let them stay up for a while.
-- Chantal, let me handle this!

-- We want to watch the ending.

-- There, it's over.

César, are you showing off
in front of your girlfriend?

Give me the remote.
-- No.

-- Bertrand, will you stop?

-- What a little sh*t!

-- b*stard!

-- What?

You're calling me a b*stard?

Me?

-- It's okay, let's go to bed.

-- Calm down.

-- Wait, I heard a word that I do not like to hear.

Say it again.

-- b*stard.

-- I'll teach you some respect.

-- You're crazy. What are you doing?

Are you insane or something?

-- What a little brat!

-- You've hurt him.

-- I barely touched him.

-- You're always criticizing me,
you never talk to me, you hit me.

Sure, it's easy to knock around
someone who is smaller than you.

Of course you are stronger than me.
You don't love me! t*rror1st!

You won't ever play soccer with me,
you never offer me a panini,

all you give me are slaps.

I want to call Carole Bouquet.

And then you are going to jail.
-- Oh yeah? So that you could tell everyone?

-- I'll go get some pain ointment.

[César groans with pain.]

-- I told you to go to bed.

That movie is too violent for you.

-- I'm hurt!
-- I need some pain ointment.

-- Enough of this.

-- Your dad is crazy.

-- I'm not hurt; I'm just pretending.
I just want him to feel guilty.

-- You're okay?

Can you get up?

-- Are you able to move?

Try to get up.

Ready, one, two, three.

-- Ayiii! Ayiii!

-- Maybe we need to call an ambulance.

[The doorbell rings.]

-- Turn off the TV.

What are you doing here, Morgan?

-- I'm scared of the storm.

I'm all by myself.

I was scared.

-- Come in, kid, come in.

-- It was the first time I ever saw Morgan crack.

I had never imagined a Morgan who could cry.

My role model. The sports hero,
like a rock, practically an adult.

And he even did it in front of Sarah! How shameful.

-- I've decided I want to see my father.

-- But you don't know anything about him.

-- I know he went back to England.
I know his name.

It's Charlie Fitzpatrick.

-- You're gonna go by yourself?
-- Yep.

I'm planning to leave on Saturday.

My mother won't even notice.

-- There is one problem, though.

They speak English over there.

But you don't.
-- No.

-- If I come along, I can help you.

I want to help.

-- Okay then.
We leave Saturday.

-- Morgan?

Can I come too?

-- Do you speak English, too?

-- No. You want to see your father,
but I'm sick to death of seeing mine.

-- Fine.

Good night.
I'm going to sleep.

-- Morgan!

-- Cut it out. I'm going to sleep.

-- England's far away, isn't it?

-- The fare is only 10 euros,

for kids between four and eleven years old.

It's the least expensive fare.

-- My parents don't give me any money.

-- I don't have enough.

-- I get 10 euros each week.

But there's more cash at home.

I know where it is.

-- And I know my dad's bank card PIN number: 547 4.

-- Bring your stash, and I will ask my dad to pay you back.

-- Okay.

-- And you?

-- Um... okay.

Phase one of the operation begins at eight o'clock exactly.

-- Everything okay?
-- Yep.

-- What are you up to?
-- Nothing.

Got it!

-- Here are the news headlines.

-- Are you checking out our neighbor?
-- No.

-- Take a look.

sh*t, she's pregnant.

I'm getting pretty hungry.

Can I tell you something?

[The telephone rings.]

-- Hello?

-- This is Morgan.
May I speak to César?

-- César, it's Morgan.

-- Hello?

-- The code doesn't work.

-- What's number did you try?
*-- 457 4.

-- It's the opposite.
Switch it around.

*-- 7 445 ?

-- No.
*-- I don't understand.

*Are you not able to talk?
-- No.

*-- The opposite of 45?
-- That's it!

-- 54?

-- Yep.

-- Are you done yet?
-- Almost.

-- Finish your call. I have time.

*-- 547 4?
-- That's it.

-- It worked!

*Should I take out 200 or 300 euros?
-- The maximum.

*-- I'll slide the card back under your door.

-- Yeah?

-- Okay. I just wanted to tell you...
You were right,

I don't really talk to you anymore.

We haven't talked enough lately.

I know I am not easy to live with,

I have my problems with work.

But I want to talk to you like an adult.

You are a grown-up Petit now.
-- Yeah.

-- You know that I have been having some money problems.

Some big problems.

The Marseille deal has fallen through.

My bank is not very happy with me.

They have been threatening me.

So every penny is important.

We'll have to cut back.

Pretty soon there will be four of us living here.

Babies need diapers and all sorts of other things.

And you, you have quite an appetite.

This should stay between us.

-- Time to eat!
-- I'm starved.

-- I forgot the napkins.

See, I do tell you everything.

-- Your bank card is sitting on the floor.

-- Oh, is it?
I'll probably have to cancel it.

It's a sign.

Phase 1 has been completed brilliantly,

so now we attack phase 2:
to get the reserved tickets. Problem:

They won't sell tickets to a kid who is less than 12 years old.

Solution: Sarah Delgado!

That day, she was more beautiful than ever.

-- Just leave it to me!

-- We now had everything, money and the tickets.

We go on to phase 3:
Lying to our parents. That's simple!

-- Mama, aren't you going to work?

-- There is a strike at the hospital.

They're having a general meeting.

Hello.

Hello, César.
Miss...

-- Sarah.

-- So it's you, the famous Sarah,

whom Morgan is always talking about.
You really are pretty!

-- Now he knew that I knew.

I had to choose between love and friendship.

I chose not to choose.
I prefered to just wait.

-- Saturday is my birthday.
I'm going to have a big party.

Can Morgan come?

-- No problem.

Keep on doing your homework.
I'll just do a few things in here.

-- Will Sarah have her birthday at her father's house or her mother's house?

-- Her father's.

-- Will it be a sleep-over?
-- Yes, since his house is pretty far away.

-- Give us the phone number.
-- I'll give you Morgan's cell phone number.

-- Aren't you forgetting something?

-- What's the problem?

-- The gift.
Did you buy her anything?

-- She doesn't need anything.
Her father is rich; she has everything.

-- Who's rich?
-- Sarah's dad.

-- What does her dad do?

-- Some kind of business.

-- Like your papa?
-- I doubt it. At the moment...

-- Bertrand...

My dear...

-- I'll come with you.

-- Not tomorrow, Morgan's mother is coming with us,

because Sarah's father is already there, getting ready.

-- He's getting ready?

-- Sure, he's cooking some food, and...

Fine, then... everything's okay?

*-- Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please.

Check-in and boarding for
Eurostar Number 901 5...

...starts in less than ten minutes.

-- I know. There are clocks everywhere here.

-- Crap, this is a crummy beginning.
What is she up to?

If she doesn't show up, we can't go.

-- She'd better come soon.

-- I feel kind of sick.
-- I feel fine, myself.

-- Hey!

-- We were supposed to meet down below.

-- There is a problem. With César.

-- I can't go?
-- No.

You're not old enough to go.

-- How come?
What's going on?

-- He doesn't have an identity card.

Without it, you need to have

special authorization to travel out of town.

-- You're positive?
-- I asked.

-- Fine... So much for that.

-- What do you mean, fine?

-- You'll just have to stay here.

-- We could go next week instead.

-- But my birthday is next week.

-- It's not our fault.
You don't have a passport.

-- Too bad. See you.
-- See you.

-- Wait!

You have all the money.

-- I often heard my father speak of the end of the world,

and there I was, in a train station for
the first time, abandoned by my best friend,

who left with the woman of my life.

And on top of all that, they had all my father's money.

I wanted to throw myself under a train.

-- Come along, class, hurry up.

When we get to the ticket agent,
everyone stick close together.

Selim, what did I tell you?

I don't want to see a single head sticking out. Follow me.

-- At age ten and a half, for the first time,
I crossed the borders of France,

running away from my parents,
to attempt a mission

where the chances of success were
minuscule, practically impossible.

I was scared to death,

but nothing could stop me.

The reason for it all, was her.

I would have followed her

to the end of the world.

-- Now what?

-- Let's look for my father.

-- Sure.

-- He's not going to be here.
-- Try the phone directory.

-- Where is the directory?

-- I'm going to ask.

-- Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where
we can find a phone book, please?

-- We don't have phone books in this station.

-- What did he say?
-- There aren't any here.

-- That's a great start.

-- What do we do now?

-- How can we find someone's address?

-- We have computers; they're over there.

But you'll need coins... money.

-- There are some computers. We'll need some coins.

-- There is another more reliable way,
but you'll have to take the tube.

-- What did he say?
-- We have to take the metro.

-- London sure seems bigger than Paris.

-- I guess so.

But they had one big thing in common.

It stinks. The English smell just like the French.

-- You're not hungry?
-- No, why?

-- Fitzpatrick...

-- There are two and a half pages of them.

-- There are only initials of the first name.

-- It won't be easy.
-- So do we need to copy them out?

-- Just tear out the pages.

-- Someone will see us.

It doesn't matter.
Let's come back later.

-- No, now.

-- I really feel like I have to sh*t.

-- And what if your father lives in the suburbs?
Or worse, not in London at all.

-- He lives in London.

-- Inside London?

-- I'm not positive.

-- Please...
-- We should have figured that out before we came.

-- Pardon me!
-- What?

-- Before we go to the suburbs,
I have to go...

[Noise of flushing.]

-- Good bye.
-- Bye.

[Cell phone rings.]

-- Hello?
*-- It's Sarah's dad.

How are things going?
-- Oh, just fine.

*-- Great! Is Sarah around?
-- Right next to me.

*-- Can I speak to her?
-- Sure, I'll give her the phone.

Your father.

-- Hello, papa?

*-- Hello.
So, what are you doing?

-- We're having lunch with Morgan's mother.

*-- What did she fix for lunch?
-- Some tuna and some cheesecake.

*-- English cheesecake?
-- Yes.

*-- It sounds pretty noisy there.
-- The window's open.

*-- Is it warm enough there?
-- Yes, it's very hot.

*-- But it's raining.
-- Yes, but it's still hot.

But I'm also hearing something else.

[Sarah imitates the sound of a bad connection.]

-- There!

[Morgan reads the list of Fitzpatricks.]

-- This is going to take us all day.

-- And where are we going to sleep?

-- I know a hotel that serves some great bacon.

-- I love bacon.

-- We didn't come here to eat bacon.

I'm trying to find my dad.

-- Yeah?

-- Uh... papa?

It's me... Morgan.

-- No sweeties.
Halloween's over!

Get out of here!
You heard me. Get out!

-- I don't think that was him.

-- We're looking for...

-- No one's home.

-- Mr. Fitzpatrick?

-- Yeah.

-- Do you understand French?
-- A little.

-- Did you understand me?

-- I don't know what to say.

What's your name?

-- Morgan.

-- Did you live in France?

-- For a while.

I met a wonderful lady there.

But... three weeks... That's...

Sit down.

-- Why did she never tell me?
-- She told me what your name was.

-- She had a wonderful smile.
So...

She's always there for you, right?

She wanted to be an air hostess.

-- What does she do now?
-- She is a nurse.

-- Oh, yeah, a nurse...

Yeah, and I'm sure she's a good one.

Such a generous person!

-- She sure is.

-- She learned how to play the flute.

She loves classical music.

You don't mind if I touch you?

You look like me.

How did you get here?

-- By train.
-- From Metz?

-- Paris.

-- But before, your mother lived in Metz.

-- You're sure?
-- I remember it perfectly.

She thought Paris was too polluted.

-- You don't happen to have
a picture of her, back then?

-- Of course.

The picture must be somewhere in here.

She loved nature.

Don't leave!
You just got here.

You can live here, with me!

Morgan!

Morgan!

-- I'm thirsty.
Who wants to look for a Coca Cola?

-- César.

-- Why me?

-- I'm tired.

-- Me too, I'm exhausted.

-- Be nice, boys.
-- C'mon, you've got the money.

-- I gave it to you.

-- Does anyone want to make me happy?
-- Me.

-- Both of you go ahead, I'm staying here.

-- Hello! What can I get you?

-- How do you say, bottle?
-- Uh... glou-glou.

-- Bouteille?
What?

-- What is she, some kind of b*tch?
-- Check out her boobs!

-- To take away?

-- That's fine!

-- I'm thirsty.

-- You have really big t*ts.

-- I don't think we have that.

-- Big t*tties.
-- Oh I know that word, cornichons!

Yes, we have pickles.

To take away?
-- You have really big t*ts.

-- Three.

Bottle.

-- No, sorry, we can't serve beer to children.

-- I don't want any.

-- Can I feel them, please?

-- Okay, sure.

-- Stop!

Stop!

-- You're too young for her.
You can speak French with me, I was just taking a break.

I am sick of this!

Oh, you're sorry. I know you are...

Well, what do you want?

-- Three Cocas.

-- That's all you had to say.
Three Cokes, Windy!

Three Cokes.
-- Three.

-- t*ts.
-- Boobs.

Melons.
Ta-tas.

Chest puppies.

-- Where is she?

-- Where did she go?
-- We'll look for her.

Sarah!!

-- Now we had moved on to phase four.
A disaster.

I had just remembered that we were only kids,

in England.
Losing Sarah,

that was losing everything that mattered.

[A car brakes suddenly.]

-- Sarah!

-- We'll be right back.
Is she pretty?

There isn't any time to fool around.
Let's go.

Listen...
There are four entrances to this park.

César, go over there.

Morgan, over there.

I'll take the third,
and we'll meet at the fourth entrance.

If you see

anything, call out

and I'll come running.
Any questions?

Let's go!

-- Sarah?

Sarah!

Sarah?

-- Hey, boy!

What are you doing here?

-- I'm looking for a friend.

-- You're French, aren't you?
I don't speak French.

-- I have to go.

-- Okay, come on.

Stop crying.

My house is just there.

-- I have to make a call.

I have to phone.

-- Come home!

Come on, sweetie.
It's just there.

Look what you've done.

Look what you've done,
you son of a b*tch!

-- Lay another finger on this kid, and I'll cut your head off.

You'll have to explain this to the police.

-- No, let's not bother the police. It's okay.

-- You have no right

to hang around here, you understand?

Get out! Get lost!

You m*therf*cker! as*h*le!

-- f*ck you!

-- Where were you?

-- I was looking for you.
I got kind of scared, too.

Are you okay?

-- Yeah, but this place gives me the creeps.

-- Me, too.

Can you feel that?

-- For the first time,
Sarah had looked at me differently.

I don't know what it was,
maybe even a look of love,

but in any case, I was sure,

she could sense that I would
have given up my life for her.

-- Oh, my, you don't have to be so modest.

A d*ck! It's a d*ck.
I saw everything!

Well, you didn't do so bad, Gloria,

for someone who has never had a kid.

-- Why have you never had a child?
Aren't you able to?

-- It was my lovers who could not have kids.

Now, at my age, it is even less likely.

You'll like this one, kids.

That's another reason why I have
to hand it to the English.

As for finding your father,
I have a friend in Scotland Yard.

-- "Scott Lanyard"?
-- Scotland Yard.

They can find anyone.

[Cell phone rings.]

-- Hello?
*-- It's Sarah's mom.

Is she there?
-- Yes, I'll give her the phone.

-- Hello, mom?
*-- How's it going, my angel?

-- Okay.
*-- I'm just checking to be sure.

Can I talk to Morgan's mother?
-- How come?

*-- To thank her.
-- Wait a moment.

-- Good evening.
*-- I am Sarah's mother.

--She's doing fine.

I just love her.

*-- Everything is going okay?

-- They've just had dinner and
now they are going to bed.

-- They can look after themselves.
*-- Make sure they stay in line.

*-- Tomorrow is Sunday.
-- Yes, I understand.

If they sleep in too late on Sunday,

on Monday they won't want to get up for school.

*-- Are they being any trouble?

-- Not at all, quite the opposite.
There's no need for you to worry.

*-- Thanks so much.
-- Sure.

It was nice talking to you.

There, it's all set.

Now, it's time for bed.
I promised.

Come on, get up!

-- I think this is the place.

You see this house?

A Charlie Fitzpatrick lives here.

According to my friend at Scotland Yard,

this man lived in France for a few months about ten years ago.

If you feel like it, ring the doorbell.

You'll see.
-- Are you coming?

-- No, we'll wait here.

This moment is all yours.

-- Maybe nobody is home.

I don't know how long we waited.

We could not tell how it was going inside.

But the longer it took, the more
we could tell it was a good sign.

And then the door opened again.

-- Morgan told me that you were waiting out here.

This is stupid.
Come into the house.

-- That's nice of you, but we
would not want to disturb you.

-- Please.
-- If you're sure?

Called Le Champs Elysées.

-- Great!

[Cell phone rings.]

-- Hello?
*-- You haven't told me what's been going on.

Is everything okay?

-- Yes, Mom. Everything is fine.

*-- It doesn't sound that way.

-- Yes, everything's fine.
*-- So I'll see you tonight.

-- Sure, hugs!

-- So, César, you are probably Morgan's best friend?

-- Yes, we are neighbors
and we're in the same class.

-- Who works harder in school?
-- He does.

-- Oh, César!

-- There had not been much chance of success,

but our advantage was that we did not realize that.

Morgan had found his father
because he believed he could.

It had only taken 24 hours.
In fact, ten years and 24 hours.

-- So you see what I see?
-- I don't believe it.

-- What?

What? Where?

Where?

-- f*cking suitcase!

These just aren't practical, these steps.

Hey, kids, let's go!

Ah, your parents?

Don't worry.

Leave it to me.

-- Morgan's father had called his mother,

and his mother had called my parents.

Our explanations were going
to be long and complicated,

and if it wasn't for Gloria,
we would all be dead.

-- Hey!

-- Our weekend in London had

some unexpected consequences for everyone.

-- You'll need it for the wintertime!

-- These sneakers are only two euros!

-- Sarah's mother was again close

to her ex-husband, who had left Samantha,

Rebecca, Jessica, Clara, etc.

My father was even more talkative to me,

and he talked about everything,

about me, my Mom, and my future sister,

with lots of stuff that did not really interest me.

He talked, and talked, and talked...
I just wished he would stop.

He wanted to catch up.

-- Bertrand!

Leave him alone.

Aren't you having fun? Doesn't it
embarass you? You're way too chatty.

-- Morgan received regular visits from his father.

They got to know each other over time.

As for Gloria,

she had won over the whole world.

She became everyone's Auntie Gloria.

Although she did not have a family of her own,
she ended up with lots of families.

[A glass breaks.]

-- Sorry, Gloria.
l'll fix it straight away.

-- Two Kit-Kats, one euro.

Look what's for sale!
A cycling guide!

-- Thanks.

-- Penny pincher!

-- A Lion, along with a book on positive thinking.

Going! Going!

Sold!

-- And so Sarah became my fiancée.

-- Attention, everyone!
It's time to release the balloons.

Wait for my signal.

All set? And a one, and a two, and a three!

And they're off!

-- And that is how everything began to change in my life.

I, César, ten-and-a-half years old,
four foot, seven inches tall,

about ten pounds overweight,

I had decided not to be a little gentleman.

For the first time in my life,
I dared to exist.

It wasn't a huge step, but still.

I understood at last that even a
little man could affect his own fate.

Not completely César,
Not completely Petit,

but something in between the two.