02x04 - The Demon in the Snow

[bunniefuu]

[Thaddeus]
Please don't do what you're about to do.

You know, they're just--
they're just kids.

[Xander] They're not kids.

They're abominations.

And so are you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- [dramatic music playing]
- [Thaddeus] No!

[thud, electricity crackling]

[visor whirring]

Hey, man.

I think I just started a w*r.

The water chip is destroyed.

The Vault only has enough water to keep
our population alive for two months.

[Betty] This community has always done
what it takes to survive.

Maybe you should
start a club or something.

There would need to be a snack budget,
of course.

This is Bud's final test.

If I can lead you all
to finding our way out of here,

we'll have proven ourselves
worthy to carry on

Vault-Tec's corporate strategy.

♪

[Barb] While you were away at w*r,

I stayed home.

You designed the T-45 Power Armor?

The first of its kind.

I wore the T-45 when we almost lost
the great state of Alaska to the Reds.

Those design flaws of yours cost
a lot of good men and women their lives.

[g*nf*re]

[g*nf*re continues]

[Raider 3] [on radio]
CATF, this is Raider 3.

Reds advancing on all fronts.
We are overrun!

- I repeat, we're ov--
- [radio static]

[g*nf*re continues]

[heavy footsteps]

[distant explosions]

[metallic creaking]

[explosions continue]

This f*ck' thing. [sighs]

Chuck! You with me?

[Charlie Whiteknife] Yeah, yeah.
[static, voice cutting out]

- [machinery beeping]
- My...

My left arm is locked up.

CATF, CATF, this is Whitehorse 2-1.

We're experiencing equipment malfunction.

No sign of Raider 3.

I'm thinkin' they had
similar problems and turned back.

Requesting permission to do the same.
Over.

[CATF] [on radio]
Denied. Keep searching for Raider 3.

- [under breath] Goddammit.
- [Charlie] What'd they say?

- [electricity zapping]
- [distant explosions continue]

[beeping continues]

They-- they said you should turn back.

- [explosions]
- You're no good out here with that Armor.

What about you?

I'll be right behind you.

- [beeping continues]
- Go.

That's an order.

[distorted] You better be right behind me.

Barb'll k*ll me if I let your a*s freeze.

- [explosions continue]
- [electricity crackling]

[distant g*nf*re]

[screeching]

[metallic rattling]

[tense music playing]

[growling]

[screeching]

- [g*nf*re]
- [b*ll*ts ricocheting]

[grunting] No! No! No!

[Power Armor beeping rapidly]

No! No! You fat f*cking piece of sh*t!

[g*nf*re continues]

[speaking Mandarin] Stop sh**ting!

Stop sh**ting!

- Come on. [grunting]
- [beeping steadies]

Come on, you f*ck'...

- [Power Armor beeping]
- [panting]

[speaking Mandarin] Wow, buddy.

What did they put you in?

The future is here.

[soldier laughing]

I'm serious.

♪

The generals will be
making us wear these too, before long.

Rock to spear and so on.

And when our commanding officers
tell us to put these on,

we'll say the exact same thing
this poor guy did.

[low growling]

[metal clanging]

Okey-dokey.

[growling]

[snarling]

[soldier grunting]

[faint screaming, echoing]

- [Deathclaw snarling]
- [crunching]

[high-pitched ringing]

[chittering]

[labored breathing]

[hissing]

[snarling]

[breathing heavily]

[Deathclaw roaring]

- [roaring]
- [g*nf*re]

- [g*nf*re continues]
- [breathing heavily]

[CATF] [on radio]
Whitehorse 2-1, this is CATF.

It appears the Reds are in retreat.

The island is secure.

Congratulations, soldiers, you did it.

We didn't.

[Deathclaw roaring]

It wasn-- It wasn't us.

It was something else.

[Deathclaw roaring]

[dramatic music playing]

[ice cracking]

[Thaddeus sighs]

Well, I guess we should get back to work.

[Vertibird whirring]

- [children exclaiming]
- [metal rattling]

They tracked me.

Okay, yeah.

Great seeing you, but, uh,
you know, you should probably go.

I think you should get out of here.
[chuckles]

Just gotta... you gotta... Go, go, go!

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, you have to come with me.

Uh, n-no, I don't.

He was an emissary from the Commonwealth.
If they find out he's dead...

- [child sneezes]
- Yeah, h-he's dead, so...

[clearing throat] What?

[Vertibird whirring]

- Oh, come on!
- You wear the Armor.

Your name's Xander.
You're from the Commonwealth.

Max, look at me, okay?

The Brotherhood has a policy
about people with wrinkly skin.

Look, if they come in here,
they're gonna tear this place up,

k*ll half these kids, and enlist the rest.

Yeah, y-you're not wrong.

But hear me out, okay,
I'm great at running away.

I'm... I'm great. I love it.

I like it. Start fresh, no big deal.

Sometimes running away
is the best thing you can do.

Sometimes it's not.

Sucks, though.

Yeah. Sucks.

[heavy footsteps]

[Knight Gnatius] [distorted]
The Elder Cleric's pissed

you guys took off like that.

You're in deep sh*t, golden boy.

- Our Vertibird broke down.
- Whatever.

Where is Xander Harkness?

- [metal clanging]
- [Thaddeus] [distorted] Ow!

What the hell?

- [metal clanging]
- [Thaddeus] Oh! What-- okay.

- [metal clanging]
- [Thaddeus grunting]

Ow!

One leg at a time.

You got this, good.
Alright, here we go. Okay.

One leg, two leg, one leg.
At ease, everyone.

What's up, big boy?
Alright, let's get out of this sh*t h*le.

Dust 'em up, spit 'em down. Whoo!

Lock and load, b*tches!

[dramatic music playing]

[soft metallic clanging]

[gasps]

[footsteps approaching]

We gave you some meds,
so you should be feeling a lot better

than when your friend brought you in.

Though I'm not sure a friend
is the right word.

[dragging object]

[grunting lightly] Thank you.

[squirrel chittering]

Sorry, who are you?

We're the New California Republic.

And is this all that's left of you?

No, there's tons of us.
We're just not here right now.

Uh...

You've been to Shady Sands?
That's where we come from.

Sorry.

Some as*h*le saw the first sign
of civilization

taking shape on the Wasteland
in over 100 years,

chose to burn it all down.

Well, the past is the past.

Ain't that right?

Well, we should, uh, probably be going.

Thank you again, truly.

We've met our fair share of people
on the road from Los Angeles,

and, truth be told,
most of them are fudging awful.

So, meeting you guys has been
a welcome change of pace.

[chuckles] Thanks.

Well, if you ever want to trade up
the company you keep...

the NCR always welcomes new recruits.

I would, but, uh, I'm looking for someone.

[Rodriguez] Common story around here.

Someone you care about
or someone you hate?

[Ghoul] Ooh, what a great question.

What say you, Miss MacLean?

Someone who hurt a lot of people.

What do you plan to do to him
when you find him?

I'm gonna bring him to justice.

Well, that's what the New California
Republic was meant to be about.

Bringing justice to the Wasteland.

- We almost did.
- [clicking tongue]

I don't doubt it.

Look, we're not gonna be able
to bring everything

with us when we leave, so...

Stock up if you like.

♪

[Lucy MacLean] They seemed nice.

You think they'd be nice to you
if they find out what your daddy did?

I wasn't gonna stay,
if that's what you're worried about.

All I saw in there
was more matching jackets.

[♪ The Andrews Sisters:
"Rum and Coca-Cola"]

♪ If you ever go down Trinidad ♪

♪ they make you feel so very glad ♪

If I had to guess, I would say

maybe my uncle and my aunt were related.

And that impacted me because...

I'm so thirsty.

Because, well, you know,
knowing that, it's just--

- I think that's why my whole family--
- The water cooler's empty.

Oh! Let me take care of that.

Keep going. This is great.

Hi!

♪ They got the young girls all goin' mad ♪

- ♪ Young girls say they treat 'em nice ♪
- [woman] Nice jugs, Reg.

♪ Make Trinidad like paradise ♪

♪ Drinking rum and Coca-Cola ♪

[water dripping]

[announcer] [on PA]
Reminder: water rationing

remains in effect until further notice.

Please limit showers, hand washing,
and water consumption

to your allotted one liter per day.

Reminder: water rationing
remains in effect until further notice.

- Where are you going with that?
- With what?

We can't be wasting resources
on your little club right now.

You signed off on our food
and beverage budget.

And I'll have you know, my little group

is growing in numbers every week,
unlike your approval rating.

Because I put austerity measures in place

and you're giving extra rations!

Or it's because
the Products of Inbreeding community

hasn't had a voice until now.
We're a distinct subculture.

[scoffs] You're a snack club.

You're not taking this from me.

Our snack budget is baked
into the charter.

Sorry.

♪ Workin' for the Yankee dollar ♪

- [spurs jingling lightly]
- [insects chirping]

[Lucy grunting]

Ooh, gosh.

Just me, or is the air
extra itchy today, and heavy?

The air's itchy and heavy.
You ever feel like that?

And also, like, hungry for not food.

Yes, I am very familiar with that feelin'.

What the fudge are you stopping for?
Sorry. Whew.

Gosh, why am I suddenly so grumpy?

Am I-- am I dying? [chuckles]

No, you ain't dyin'.

You addicted to drugs.

What? No, I-- [scoffs]

No. It's not possible.

Two days on a steady drip of Buffout'll
do that to a body.

Well, then I... hereby quit drugs.

There.

What you got there?
Oh, gosh, it didn't take.

I'm still addicted to drugs. What do I do?

Well, there's two schools of thought.

One, you muscle your way through it.
A lot of pain, vomiting.

Can't do much but just lay there
and ride it out.

- How long does that take?
- Four or five days.

- [Dogmeat whimpering]
- In my experience...

the alternative is the only way to go.

What's the alternative?

Do more drugs.

[softly] Fudge.

Well, I know this isn't good for me,

but stopping my dad
from doing whatever he's doing

is for the greater good,
so even though I want it,

I'm mostly doing it for other people,
so that's what I'd want others

to do for me.

So, give me the drugs.

[dramatic music playing]

[whirring]

[over PA] All available units,
stand by for deck clearing.

[over PA] Docking sequence initiated.
Vertibird accepting payload.

The Elder Cleric's looking for you.

Things were already
pretty tense around here

with that Xander guy showing up,
and then you just, what?

Disappear with him? The hell, man?

Well, it was just a hunting trip.

[Thaddeus] [distorted] Oh, oopsie-daisy.

Oh, oh, can't see my feet.

Uh... I got this. Okay.

Yep.

What did you do?

I did the right thing, alright?
But now, Xander's dead.

The Commonwealth are gonna k*ll us all.

Unless I can stop it.

How are you gonna do that, Max?

Hey! When you tell Quintus

that you k*lled the emissary
to the Commonwealth...

he'll slit your throat himself.

I have a plan for that.
But first, I need you to get all the kids

- and take 'em somewhere safe.
- Why?

What are you gonna do?

k*ll Quintus.

[ominous music playing]

[Thaddeus] Hey! How's it going?

How you guys-- ooh!
Who put that there, huh? Yeah.

Just kidding. Alright, okay. Here we go.

No big deal. Supposed to be here.

You know, I've come to prefer
the pasta uncooked.

- I know it's out of necessity, but...
- Absolutely.

- ...I like it this way.
- The mouth feel is excellent.

- It's a nice mouth feel.
- [Norm] Listen up!

Conserve as much as you can, everyone.

We don't know how long it'll be
before we find more food.

Must be a lot to take in.

I drove down across
that bridge a week ago.

Where were you going?

A job interview at Vault-Tec.

Pretty crazy week for you, I guess.

[mouthing] Yeah.

[Ronnie] Hey, boss. [chuckles]

Now that we've found food,
it's time for phase two?

- What is your name?
- Oh, um, I'm Ronnie. McCurtry.

I decide the next steps up here, Ronnie.

I know, yeah, you're the--
you're the boss.

I know you call the shots.

Just thought I'd introduce myself,

'cause I was Bud's personal assistant.

Hm, so?

So, uh, let's just say I was the guy
who took the lunch orders

when Bud was meeting
with the Vault investors.

"Future Enterprise Ventures"?

The whole plan for Vaults 32 and 33?

What do you know about that?

Like I said, I was just the guy
who got the lunch orders,

but I do know that Phase 2

was very important to the experiment.

It's time to get going, yeah?

Lead the way then, Ronnie.

Alright, guys!

Boss said it's time to move!

[ominous music playing]

[♪ LaVern Baker: "Tweedlee Dee"]

♪ Tweedle-dee, tweedle-dee-dee ♪

♪ Tweedle, tweedle, tweedle-dee ♪

It's a-- turn right, and then right.

Then left. Right?

[Davey] She's such a tart.

Oh! Hey, Woody!

- Wrong unit, huh?
- I'm so sorry, Davey.

Ahh.

Who amongst us hasn't mixed up
their lefts and rights before?

Especially these days.

I am trying to get a hang of this.
I honestly am.

Yeah, it's going around.

Yesterday, I walked in
on the women's mensroom.

There was nobody in there,
but had there been, ooh.

Disaster.

What I wouldn't give to go back to 33.

[Steph] Empty. You're positive?

[Betty] Evacuated cryo pods.
No sign of Norman.

My God, Steph.

I found Bud Askins upside-down
in a mop bucket.

So, 31 has been abandoned.

It's just you and me now, Bets.

I suppose it is. A brave new world.

So, we need to cooperate.

The water crisis in 33 is getting worse.

If I give you access
to our Vault's water supply,

it would taint the work we're doing here.

Bud is dead.
What work are you talking about?

The same work
we've always been doing, Betty.

Trying to survive.

We've always had different ideas
on how to do that.

But I'd be more than happy
to discuss a triennial trade

over telegram, as per tradition.

I appointed you Overseer
based on the understanding

that we would support each other,

perhaps better than we've supported
each other in the past.

And as a gesture of gratitude,
I agreed to meet you here in person.

But I have to think
about my baby now, Betty.

It's all that matters.

I woke up 40 years ago,
and I've learned a lot in that time.

What matters, what doesn't matter.

The company we work for
isn't coming to save us.

This community and how
we conduct ourselves in it...

that's all we have.

There's a Keepsake Box.

Something from before the w*r
that Hank brought with him to Vault 31.

It's locked, but if you bring me that box,

I'll consider giving you
access to our water.

What's in it?

It's something... personal.

[faint music playing]

[faint chattering]

Oh, so you're holding us hostage.

Hostage is an overused word.

I don't think you appreciate
how bad things could get down here.

With all due respect, Betty,
you're from Solvang.

You have no idea how bad things can get.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a lot of work to do.

Steph, if you don't help us,

there won't be a Vault 33 anymore.

The experiment's over, Betty.

We have to make our own decisions now.

[buzzer blaring]

[loud rumbling]

[Ghoul sighs]

Something's off.

Expecting a welcoming committee?

Yes, I was.

- Oh.
- [spyglass clicking]

Hmm.

[sighs] Well, sh*t.

What? What?

Sorry.

It's gonna be a little hard to explain.

We should go in through
the east side of town.

Place called Freeside.

Good place to stock up on supplies.

Only about a half-day's detour.

No, no! My dad is right there!

[scoffs] I am done with all
of the sidetracks and the detours.

I say we just run on through.
Who fudgin' cares.

That's the drugs talkin'!

[Dogmeat barking]

Truth be told, I like what they're sayin'.

[growling]

[ghouls growling and snarling]

So, hear me out.

My partner and I,
we're just gonna go on through.

- And we don't want any--
- [growling]

[vocalist yodeling]

[all growling]

Whoa.

[♪ Roy Hogsed: "Cocaine Blues"]

[growling continues]

[r*fle c*ck and firing]

♪ Early one morning
while making the rounds ♪

♪ took a shot of cocaine
and I shot my woman down ♪

- [growling continues]
- ♪ Went right home and I went to bed ♪

♪ and stuck that loving .44
beneath my head ♪

♪ Got up next morning
and I grabbed that g*n ♪

- ♪ Took a shot of-- ♪
- [music stops abruptly]

- [thud]
- [chuckles]

- [music resumes]
- Well, I'm good for heads!

They're just ghouls, right?

♪

♪ Ninety-nine years ♪

♪ underneath that ground ♪

♪ I'll ne'er forget the day
I shot my woman down ♪

♪ Come all, you hypes,
and listen unto me ♪

♪ Just lay off that whiskey ♪

[music distorting, echoing]
♪ and let that cocaine be ♪

[music normalizes, ends]

[guitar strings ringing]

Huh.

[panting]

[sighs]

Got any cigarettes? I'd like to try one.

One addiction at a time.

[ominous music playing]

[loud whirring]

[grunting]

[Thaddeus]
Oops, uh... didn't see you there.

Xander. Xander. Xander.
Your name is Xander. Xander.

[distorted]
You got this. Alright, buddy, you got it.

No big deal. You belong here.

You are loved. [deep sigh]

Okay, you know what? This is a bad idea.

Emissary.

[Thaddeus] Emissary. Uh...

yeah, yeah, that's me!

[sighs]

I'm Elder McRae. Yosemite chapter.

[Thaddeus] Yeah, uh, obviously.

Can I get a word?

Uh...

A-Absolutely?

Don't come out until the sh**ting stops.

Leave us.

♪

What did you do?

I k*lled the emissary
from the Commonwealth.

And now?

You intend to k*ll me, hm?

As you're probably aware,
there's an ideological gap

between my chapter and Quintus.

- Uh-huh?
- So, even if you weren't here,

I would have nothing to do
with Quintus' little insurrection.

Uh, no, I bet.

But if you were to promise...

What are we talkin' here?

She making deals?

You know, Coronado chapter
can make deals, too.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I bet.

Coronado, you guys are, mm!

We'll give you Quintus' head
on a spike today

if you guarantee us 300 fusion cores.

[McRae] Yosemite chapter
will do it for nothing.

All we hope is that Elder Maxson
will remember us better in the future.

See? That's what happens
when you negotiate with women.

That's why Coronado doesn't even
let 'em in their ranks.

That's how you know you can trust us.

I'll stab you in your mouth,
you keep talking.

[panting]

[tense music playing]

[Quintus] I found you in the ruins
of Shady Sands.

k*ll me, and the world will continue

just-- just as you see it.

A world of anarchy. Of horror.

A world I would bring order to.

Order.

Cruel and necessary
to rebuild civilization.

To change this world.

k*ll me, that change will never come.

Look, I got two squadrons out there ready
and my guys came here to fight.

It'd be a shame to disappoint 'em.
Just say the word.

You think we came here empty-handed?

- We're ready for w*r!
- Wow. Yeah, guys, okay.

I think I'm having a panic attack.

What the f*ck's a panic attack?

You know, when you just--
when you can't breathe,

but also, you can't stop breathing,

and your heart is running away from you,

you're gonna die, kind of thing,
panic attack?

Sounds like a coronary. Just walk it off.

Let me at least get your visor up. Here.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[Thaddeus grunts]

- [McRae] Let me get your visor up.
- No, no! No, no, no! No, no!

Tell me, Maximus, tell me.

What world will you build?

When you lead, tell me, what will you do

when your people are starving?

- I don't want that.
- Then, what is your great plan?

There was no plan.

I don't have a plan.

You have plans. But out there, you can't.

I don't choose to do the things
I have to do.

They just keep happening.

My son.

My son.

Tell me what happened.

I k*lled Xander because he was
gonna k*ll some kids.

They were ghouls.

- Wh-- what? No.
- Young ghouls.

- I mean, they were f*cking kids.
- No, no.

He was gonna k*ll them,
and I couldn't let him do it.

Abominations! Abominations!

- Children!
- Ghouls!

- To be exterminated!
- I know.

First rule of our order.

Oh, this is my fault.

I should never, never,
never have shown mercy to you.

Never. Never!

[g*nf*re]

Hey! Hey!

So, the relic was stolen, huh?

I wanna know which one of you
back-stabbing m*therf*ckers is behind it!

- Suit up. The artifact is missing.
- Double-crossing m*therf*cker!

- Suit up!
- [choking]

f*ck!

That was-- that was cool.

- [McRae grunting]
- [gurgled choking]

Ooh.

[crowd clamoring]

- [McRae grunts]
- sh*t.

Get up! Ha, ha, let's go!

[Thaddeus] Okay. Gotta go.

Alright.

Stop!

[g*nf*re continues]

Heretic!

Heretic!

[g*n clicking]

[banging]

[g*nf*re]

Max!

- Did you do it?
- I couldn't do it, I'm sorry.

- I'm so sorry.
- Hey, you do not have to apologize

for not k*lling someone. Here.

Get that as far away from here as you can.

- Why me?
- You're the only person here

who's not a total as*h*le.

- What about you?
- We're survivors, Max.

We'll survive.

[Thaddeus] [yelling] Hey, guys?

Can we go now?

Come on!

[dramatic music playing]

[Quintus] Heretic!

[gasping]

[dramatic music continues]

[expl*si*n booming]

[Woody] So...

[inhaling deeply]

[Woody] Well, uh, as you know,

the-- the, uh, Vault-Tec Handbook
mandates that-- that any violations,

particularly those that may put
Inter-Vault security at risk,

be immediately reported
to the-- to the Overseer.

Mm-hmm? Did someone commit a violation?

Uh... well...

well, it appeared to me
that, um, that you did.

[baby cooing]

I-- I noticed you were in
the, um, the Inter-Vault space,

which the Handbook stipulates

we are only to enter for triennial trades.

Thank you for reporting this, Woody.

You have followed protocol to the letter.

Okay, yeah, 'cause I've-- I've never
had to report a violation

to the person who committed it before,

so I'm just-- I'm not really sure
what happens next.

I'll be sure to escalate
your report immediately.

Escalate to whom?

The Overseer.

But that's, uh, but that's you.

Well, that makes it easy, doesn't it?

Why were you in
the Inter-Vault chamber, Steph?

Look, I know we're all pals here,

but I do think it would be best
if you referred to me

as Overseer Harper from here on.

Optics.

- [stammering] Yeah--
- I'll be sure

to let you know what my report finds.

Thank you for stopping by.

Chet?

I hope you're adjusting okay
to all the changes lately.

[chuckles] You know what they say.

Wherever you end up,
it's where you belong.

[baby cooing]

Overseer Harper, when you
said "experiment" to Betty,

what were you talking about?

Overseer stuff.

- Okay.
- [door whirring]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[lights buzzing]

[Dogmeat whimpering]

[buzzing continues]

Aren't there supposed to be people here?

Uh-huh.

We should go to Freeside.

Somebody there'll be able
to tell us what's goin' on.

Dad!

Hello?

- [ominous music playing]
- Huh.

Radiation.

Hey! Hey, look at this!

How big do the chickens get out here? Huh?

[Lucy bawking, laughing]

Those aren't chickens.

[roaring]

[Dogmeat barking]

[mysterious chittering]

Well...

whatever it is, I think we can take it.

Oh, yeah. We got this.

In fact, I think it'll be easy.

[growling]

[chittering]

[door creaking]

[claws tapping]

[door creaking]

[crashing]

[growling]

[footsteps thudding]

[snarling]

[roaring]

[snarling]

Okey-dokey.

[♪ Betty Hutton: "He's a Demon,
He's a Devil, He's a Doll"]

♪ Everyone tells me he's no good,
he doesn't love me like he should ♪

♪ I would forget him if I only could ♪

♪ He's a demon, he's a devil ♪

[gasps] ♪ He's a doll ♪

♪ That man can look me in the eye
and tell the biggest, sweetest lie ♪

♪ and I forget that lipstick on his tie ♪

♪ He's a demon, he's a devil ♪

[gasps] ♪ A doll ♪

♪ He's a palooka, he's a brute ♪

♪ He drives me crazy but he's cute ♪

♪ Why do I love a guy I ought to sh**t ♪

♪ He's a demon ♪

♪ He is a devil ♪

♪ He is a doll! ♪

♪

[snarling]