Angry Birds Movie, The (2016)

[bunniefuu]

[PANTING] Okay.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Come on, let's go. Let's go, buddy.

Come on, come on, we gotta move,
we gotta move.

Whoa!

[GRUNTING]

[SPITS] Uh-oh! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

No, no, no, no, no!

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

Huh?

[GASPING] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[GRUNTS] Hey! Hey! Gotcha!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[GRUNTS] Ow! Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

I don't like it! I don't like it!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Whoo! [CHUCKLES]

[SCREAMING]

Ow! Ooh! Ah! Ow! Ow!

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh!

Beak! Wing! Tail!

Ribs!

Giblets!

[GROANS]

Ha!

[SCREAMING]

I'm flying!

Nope, still can't fly.

[SCREAMING]

[BURBLING] I cannot believe this.

Breathe, breathe. [INHALES]

[GASPS]

[COUGHING]

Bottom feeder.

Up and over!

[PANTING]

Whew! [GASPS]

- Ta-da!
- [HORN TOOTS]

- [SHRIEKING]
- No, no, no, no.

Look. It's okay. I'm just a clown.

Oh, boy.

- That's a loud... Loud...
- [SOBBING]

You're very scared of me.

- Here, come here.
- [SHRIEKING]

Nope. Okay. Nope. Never mind.

Uh, happy hatchday!

Oh! Hi, pal.

You must be so disappointed
in yourself for being this late.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

I'm not late. Look at the time.

See, the order said before noon.

[CACKLING]

Okay, now you're late.

- What?
- Where have you been?

- It's funny you ask. You see, I was...
- You missed the party.

- What is that?
- Oh, that.

Um, yes, see, I fell on the box.

[CHITTERS]

- Oh, the squirrel?
- [GIGGLES]

That's on us.

You know, I tried to keep my body
between the ground and the box,

but, you know,
I think I got a little bruise.

- See anything back there?
- [GROANS]

Hear that, honey?

The clown we paid to be here an hour ago
fell on our son's hatchday cake.

That's why our son's hatchday party
is ruined!

Oh!

And the next time you mess up,
don't tell me a story,

just take responsibility.

Hey, man, it wasn't a story.

"I'm a screwup that woke up late

- "and fell on the thing you paid for!"
- [MIMICKING GIBBERISH]

- It wasn't a story. I almost drowned.
- "I'm really bad at my job and I'm late..."

Why don't we just settle this out

- and say the cake's on you.
- You.

[STRAINED GRUNTING]

I'm sorry, it's on me?

Well, who else would it be on?

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] Well, you know, I...

I'm not sure you're gonna like this, um,
but since you asked.

Rather than being on me, as you suggested,

this cake is on you!

So, you wanna hear a story?

I run my butt off, literally, mind you,

to get the "gluten-free cake."

What the heck is gluten?

I mean, does gluten even exist?

[TREMBLING] Who are you?

Get outta here!

Already? But you're the only one
that's had cake.

What...

Mmm.

Oh, that's good stuff.

Mmm. Anybody want to eat some cake
off their dad or husband?

Who needs plates when you got
this guy's face, right? [CHUCKLES]

Oh, oh, mmm! Oh, wait. I almost forgot.

You know, I'm supposed to do
a quick customer satisfaction survey

before I [WHISTLES] split, okay?

So, on a scale of one to three stars,
what would you say about my performance?

- And don't forget, the squirrel was...
- [SQU EAKS]

[DISTORTED]...free...

[DISTORTED SCREAM]

- Sorry about this!
- No!

My bad.

[GRUNTS]

Huh!

[STRAINED GRUNTING]

- [OTHERS GASP]
- Mmm!

RED: [MUFFLED] Congratulations!

- Huh?
- Oh!

It's a boy!

[PARANOID BY BLACK SABBATH PLAYING]

Mmm.

- Mmm.
- [ANGRY GRUNT]

Hmm?

- Ooh. Ooh, ooh.
- Huh?

- Mm. Mm.
- [GASPS]

Ooh-hoo-hoo! [GROANS]

- FEMALE CLASSMATE: Hey, Eyebrows.
- [LAUGHTER]

[WHISPERING]

Eyebrows!

ALL: Eyebrows!

[ANGRY GRUNTING]

[SNORING]

- [POUNDING]
- [GROANS]

[YELLS]

[RED SIGHS]

Whee!

[GASPING]

- [SNEEZES]
- Huh?

[SNIFFLES]

[SNEEZING]

[GROANS]

Oh!

Hmm.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[GULPS] Uh-oh.

Hmm?

Oh.

[GRUNTING]

[GIGGLING]

[ANGRY GRUNT]

[ANGRY GRUNT]

EVA: Your Honor, our family has
always practiced natural childhatch.

The risks of having
a scrambled infant are too great.

There was going to be music,

the nest was going to be full of
beautiful, fresh-cut flowers.

[CROWD EXCLAIMS]

And the first two faces he was going to see

were the loving faces

[SOBBING] of his mother and his father.

[CROWD MURMURING]

[GIGGLES]

We can never get that moment back.

Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be
the first face your baby saw.

[CHUCKLES] I mean,
what are we talking about here?

He probably doesn't even remember me.

- Daddy!
- [CROWD GASPS]

No, no, no. No. Shh. Shut up.

- Shut up.
- [GROWLING]

Cool it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
am I a passionate bird?

Yes.

[CHUCKLES] Guilty as can be.

- It was a quality cake.
- Mmm.

Look, I worked very hard
to get it there on time

and he wouldn't even try it!

[CLEARS THROAT] Mr. Red, we are
a happy, happy bird community.

ALL: Mmm-hmm.

Under the protection of Mighty Eagle,

we work, we play, we laugh, we love,

and we live our lives
free from conflict and strife, sir.

We love the sound
of our own voice, too, evidently.

Perhaps you never heard the joke,
"Why don't birds fly?"

I'm gonna tell you why.

Because where else
would we ever wanna go?

[LAUGHTER]

- It gets me every time, guys!
- Wow! Not a good joke.

So now, what am I to make
of the likes of you?

There seems to be a recurring issue here.

- Anger.
- [CROWD MURMURS]

[SCOFFS] I don't think
I have an anger issue.

I think you got an anger issue.

[CROWD GASPS]

Anger is a weed growing in our garden.

And what do you do when you find a weed?

I don't know,
but I bet you're gonna tell me.

You pluck it out!

Oh, my God.

Mr. Red, when you moved your house
outside of our village,

did you notice that
nobody tried to stop you?

[SIGHS]

Birds, they may smile at you on the street,
but that doesn't mean they like you.

[EXHALES]

Mmm-hmm. Hey, you know what?
I got a question for you.

Are you aware that that robe
that you're wearing isn't fooling anybody?

We all see ya prancing along the street,
Your Honor!

And you're, what, and I'm just
approximating here, like, an inch tall?

- You... What are you doing?
- [CROWD GASPS]

- Voilà!
- [SNEEZES]

- [SNIFFLES]
- Yeesh.

- [CROWD GASPS]
- What the...

Daddy!

Mr. Red, given the severity of the crimes,

I have no choice but to impose
the maximum penalty allowed by the law.

Anger management class.

- [CROWD GROANS]
- Oh.

Pluck my life.

- [GASPS]
- [FRUSTRATED GROAN]

- Fresh worms caught today.
- Huh?

Hey, Red. How are ya?

Oh, I'm horrible.

STELLA: Oh, hi, Red.

It's good to see you!

- I wish I could say the same.
- Get your worms here!

- [LAUGHING]
- Upsy-daisy!

[GASPS]

Thank you. [GROANS]

- [PLAYING LIVELY TUNE]
- Ah! Huh?

- [PLAYING SQUEAKY NOTES]
- Huh?

- Let's go.
- Oh.

[YOUNG BIRDS GIGGLING]

How are you, Susie? You good?

No running. No running. [CHUCKLES]

- Ooh!
- Come on.

Hey, how's that nap schedule coming along?

- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, boy.

You guys ever thought about bird control?

Oof!

Left, right, left, right.

There ya go.

[HUMMING]

[MOCKING HUM]

Hey, hey.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

- [GIGGLING]
- All right. Oop!

- [GROANS]
- SHIRLEY: Shirley.

Girly, you got this.

MONICA: We don't want you to fall, now.
Take your time.

- [GROANS]
- Here we go. That's it.

[GRUNTING]

Oh, you're doing it!

Seriously?

I'm almost there.

[FRUSTRATED GROAN]

Hmm?

Nope.

Hmm.

[BIRDS GASPING HAPPILY]

- [ALL GASP]
- [SPITTING]

[LAUGHTER]

YOGA INSTRUCTOR: Pigeon pose.

Crane pose.

- [PANTING]
- Okay, we worked out.

- Who's down for a froyo?
- Ooh!

- Froyo.
- Wow.

"Mighty Mighty Eagle, soaring free.

"Defender of our homes and liberty!"

Hi, Red.

Is one of those yours?

What?

Yeah, when birds fly.

DAY CARE BIRD: "Mighty Eagle is a legend."

[STATUE LAUGHING RHYTHMICALLY]

[AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT]

[GRUMBLES]

[CRACKING]

[ANGRY GRUNTING]

[EXHALES]

Mmm.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS IN PAIN]

[EXHALES]

[YELLING]

[GRUNTING]
You think that's funny? Ha-ha-ha!

This is funny!

[RHYTHMIC LAUGHING CONTINUES]

Uh-oh.

[GRUNTING]

Oh! Ah! Come on!

[RHYTHMIC LAUGHING DISTORTS]

[GRUNTING]

- [YELLS]
- [RHYTHMIC LAUGHING STOPS]

[PANTING]

[RHYTHMIC LAUGHING]

What?

[GRUNTING]

[STATUE GRUNTS]

Oof!

[GRUNTS]

Whew! [PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

- [HELENE GASPS]
- Hmm?

- Don't look, Bobby.
- [CHUCKLES]

The anger might be contagious.

Let's go!

- He started it.
- HELENE: Move it, move it! Don't look back!

[GROANS]

There you go.

Uh-huh.

[STATUE GROANS WEAKLY]

[GRUNTING]

Oh, look at this.

This is gonna be awful.

Okay, I guess that's art.

That's garbage.

And that's exotic.

"Free rage" what?

- MATILDA: Oh, hi!
- [GASPS]

- Hi there! Welcome...
- Oh, hello.

...to the Infinity Acceptance group.

- I am Matilda.
- Okay.

And I'm just super psyched
to be taking this journey with you!

Ah! You're gonna have a blast.

I'm really fun.

[CHUCKLING]
Everybody says that about me.

Hey, guys.

Say hello to Red, everyone.

Hello!

Hi, Red. [CHUCKLES]

Hello, birds I won't get to know well.

Hey, apparently somebody didn't get
the memo that we like to start on time

because you're about two minutes late.

Don't let it happen again.

Hi, my name is Chuck.

I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot.

I like you a lot. I can tell.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

Now, Red, would you like to
share your story with us?

No, not really.

Well, the court mentioned
something about a rage episode

at a child's birthday party.

How long is this class, anyway?

As long as you make it.

- Really? Oh, okay.
- Mmm-hmm.

Uh, gentlemen, very nice to see you,
and to almost meet you.

Probably the nicest part of it
is not getting to meet you,

- you know, in some weird way.
- [BOTH GROAN]

All right, so I'm gonna go ahead

and scoot on back out
past those creepy statues and, uh...

[GRUNTS] Back you go.

- Sure. No, I can take a seat.
- [HUMMING]

So, in another sense,

you are here until I notify the court
that your anger issues have been resolved.

[GIGGLES]

Oh, boy.

Chuck!

Share your story with Red.

Me? I am the last guy who should be here.

Simple speeding ticket.

Judge tells me I was going too fast,
so I say, "Your Honor, to be honest, I was.

"You caught me."

I'm not angry. I'm honest.

So, shouldn't I be in
honesty management class?

'Cause we gotta manage my honesty.

Mmm-hmm.

My one problem, that's a different story
than you told last time.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

- [SIREN WAILING]
- [RAP MUSIC PLAYING]

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da police

Woop-woop! That's the sound of the beast

Hmm.

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da police

Woop-woop! That's the sound of the beast

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da police

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da beast

- Drinks on me, guys!
- [CHEERING]

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da police

Woop-woop! That's the sound of the beast

- Mmm-mmm.
- MATILDA: Chuck?

Okay, maybe it wasn't ice cream.

All right, Chuck, thanks. We got it.

And this is T erence.

[LOW GROWLING]

Whew! More like terrifying.

Now, it says here, in your little filey...

- [SIREN WAILING]
- [PANICKED SCREAMING]

[CRASHING]

[SIRENS WAILING]

[LOUD SCREAM]

- [CRASHING]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]

[LOW GROWLING]

Terence, uh, seems to have had
an [CLEARS THROAT] incident.

Now, b*mb started with us two weeks ago.

Tell us your story, b*mb.

[SIGHS] Okay.

Well, sometimes when I get upset,

I, uh, have been known to, uh, blow up.

So, like, uh... Like, what, like,
you get mad, you mean?

Well, no.

I literally blow up, okay?

I explode like a b*mb.

[IMITATES b*mb
WHISTLING THROUGH AIR]

- [IMITATES expl*si*n]
- [CHUCK GASPS]

Hence the name.

CROWD: Surprise!

[SQUEAKING]

- [PARTY HORN SQUEAKS]
- Ah, excuse me.

Party foul.

Ow!

[SQUEALS] Do it!

No can do.

I just went boom-boom before class.

Hey, look, I don't want to be here at all,

but this can maybe make it a little more
interesting to me, so please, explode.

You can't do it, can you?

Yes, I can,

- but I'm having back issues today.
- Ugh!

So, I'm gonna have to take a rain check.

Oh, do it!

Not the time or place, little amigo.

These guys are all nuts, huh, big man?

[LOW GROWLING]

Are we speaking telepathically,
or you're just...

[LOW GROWLING]

Good talk.

Nice chatting with you.

Today we're gonna be working on
managing our anger through movement.

- CHUCK: Mmm.
- The first pose is the dancer pose.

[FLOOR CREAKING]

- [GASPS]
- Great form, Terence.

Mmm! Eagle! Heron!

Peacock! Warrior!

Mountain! Tree! Rabbit! Fish! Locust!
King pigeon!

And of course, downward duck.

[GROANS] Huh?

- [STRAINED GRUNTING]
- Uh, excuse me, boring hippie lady.

- Uh-huh?
- Looks like the explodey guy's gonna puke.

And have you done this before?

Uh, yes, I have, but usually not for free.

- [GRUNTS]
- Didn't think so.

- Awesome.
- And how are we doing over here, b*mb?

[STRAINING] Doing wonderful.
Stretching out the core. [GROANS]

Just remember to breathe up
through your feathers and from your talons.

- [GROANING]
- Namaste.

- [HISSING]
- b*mb?

[CHUCK COUGHING]

CHUCK: Nice!

[COUGHING]

b*mb: I don't know what happened.

I was doing the poses,
I was feeling all Zen,

Matilda was digging it,
then I lost my grip on it.

Let it slip and it just squeaked out.

Hey, so, where we going?

I'm sorry. "We"?

Yes, we.

There's a new happiness exhibit
at the Museum of Happiness

that I'm dying to see.

Uh, you know what?

I... I mean, I got a... I got a thing.

A thing?

[WHISPERS] Like a disease?

[GASPS] Is it bird flu? Chicken pox?

[GASPS] Cardinal sin?

No, by "thing," I mean, like, um,
desire not to hang out.

With you.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, well...
You know, may be for the best, you know,

because, uh, I got something, too.

Ha! How did I forget?

Even if you'd said yes,
I probably couldn't have gone.

I'm busy, too.

I have a, uh, business offer,
uh, deal that is, uh...

No, b*mb, you're not good at this, buddy.

It's... It's charming up to a point,
and now it's just sad.

It's a guy I know.

- [GROANS]
- And he's opening up

- a brand-new luxury...
- Mmm-mmm.

...class reunion.

Okay.

Good. Good, good, good.

Well, looks like it's just us.

Want to go get a bite?

Oh, but what about your "class reunion"
where everybody brings a "business offer"?

Oh! [CHUCKLES] No, no, no.

Chuck, I was lying.

I'm sorry if I fooled you.

[BEHIND BLUE EYES
BY LIMP BIZKIT PLAYING]

[YOUNG BIRDS LAUGHING]

- Hmm?
- Nuh-uh! No means no.

Hmm.

My sweetheart.

Cheers.

- Hey!
- Hmm?

Get over here!

Hey, peckerhead!

[CHUCKLING] What's up?

[SIGHS] Hmm.

To be the sad man

OLIVE: Ooh!

- Oh! Oh, I felt a peck!
- Oh!

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

And no one knows what it's like to be hated

To be fated

[SIGHS]

To telling only lies

This is the legendary Mighty Eagle,

our protector and hero,
but no one has seen him for years.

- Mighty Eagle is missing.
- [GRUNTING]

When's Mighty Eagle gonna come back?

Eyebrows, didn't your parents ever tell you
Mighty Eagle isn't real?

Shh. He doesn't know that.

- He doesn't have parents.
- Yeah.

Or even friends. [CHUCKLES]

[CLASSMATES WHISPERING]

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings

Like I do

And I blame you

No one bites back as hard on their anger

None of my pain and woe

Can show through

[LEONARD SNORTS]

LEONARD: Aha! Eureka!

Say bye to Daddy.

ALL: Bye-bye!

- Goodbye, hatchlings.
- ALL: Bye!

- [CHUCKLES]
- Have a happy day!

Good morning!

CYRUS: Morning, Your Honor.

Ow!

Here you go.

- [SNEEZES]
- Bless you.

Mmm! [GULPS]

Mmm!

- Yes!
- Bye!

Daddy's making dinner!

"If my name were Bobby
Would you ask about my hobbies?"

Whoa!

"Or if my name were Judas
Would you ask me what my mood is?"

- [GROANS]
- "I laugh, I cry, I love, I hate

"I do so much more than detonate"

Think about it.

That was beautiful.

Oh, you're gonna make me cry!

Yeah, that was some real clever symbolism.

Ah! Red, why don't we hear your poem?

- I don't have a poem.
- Uh-huh.

Why not?

Because I didn't write one.

Right. Uh-huh.

And is there a reason?

Well, you know, I was gonna do it,

but then I thought about it and I realized,
"Oh, this is a huge waste of my time."

So, I didn't do it.

[INHALES] Deep breath, deep breath.

[IN DEEP VOICE] Deep breath!

[SIGHS] Ah!

And we're back in the now.

Chuck! You've had your hand up
the whole time.

Mmm-hmm.

My poem is about a hate crime.

[GASPS]

Uh-oh.

Oh, no.

Lot of sickos out there. Lot of sickos.

"What, oh, what did I make you of?

- "I made you out of love"
- MATILDA: Aw.

"But wait, too late!

"Now I see your fate

"Some very troubled somebody
Destroyed you out of hate"

[GROANS]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

"What could have made him so despise

"Your happy smile, your laughing eyes?

[WHIMPERS]

- "Your soul was pure, your heart was true"
- Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.

"And someone hated that

"But who?"

- [GASPS]
- [GULPS]

- [GRUNTS]
- [WHISTLING]

[COUGHING] Terence.

[LOW GROWLING]

[GRUNTS]

Yeah, I deserved that.

[GROANS]

- Billy has passed...
- RED: Oh!

...to a higher plane of existence.

[CRYING] Everyone, join wings.

Let us all say our goodbyes.

Yeah, let me get in here.
I gotta say goodbye.

Okay.

[LOW GROWLING]

Okay. You know,
I'll just mourn from back here.

That's fine.

You know, if there's one thing
Billy always hated,

- it was goodbyes.
- Hey, what's going on out there?

[GASPS]

Oh! Class dismissed.

[TERENCE GROWLING]

Very moving.

- Come on, everybody! Let's go!
- [EXCITED CHATTER]

Hey, where's everybody going?

Hurry! Something's coming!

Last one to the beach is a rotten egg!

Let's go!

- Coming through! Pardon me! Excuse me!
- [BLOWS WHISTLE]

[GRUNTS] What?

[LOW GROWLING]

[GROWLING CHUCKLE]

[IMITATES SIREN WAILING]

- Ah! Again?
- [IMITATES HORN HONKING]

BIRD 1: Let's get down to the beach!

BIRD 2: Follow the trail!

BIRD 3: Last one there is a rotten eggy!

What?

[SHIP HORN BLOWING]

- Huh!
- Didn't mean to photobomb you.

- Sorry about that.
- [GRUMBLES]

What is that thing?

It looks like a UFO.
An Unidentified Floating Object.

Daddy!

- Stop it. No, I'm not your daddy!
- [GIGGLING]

BIRD 1: What is that?

- BIRD 2: Look at the size of that thing!
- SHIRLEY: Where's it going?

BRAD: I don't know, but it's not stopping.

[ALARM BLARING]

- My house, my house.
- [ALARM BLARING]

Slow down!

Stop!

[PANTING]

- Aw.
- [CREAKING]

Phew!

What the...

[GROANS]

- That house took me five years to build.
- Wow!

It's such a shame when you create
something and someone just destroys it.

LEONARD ON SPEAKER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

- we have a very special guest for you!
- Huh?

- He's a green marine sailing machine.
- Careful, now.

And he's keen to let you
know he's not mean!

Put your wings together for Leonard!

[ALL GASPING]

Thank you so much.

Please hold your applause.

Greetings from my world!

The world of the pigs.

[WHISPERS] What's a pig?

I am a pig.

[SIGHS]

[GEARS CLANK]

Unbelievable.

- Unbelievable.
- [BEEPING]

[CHUCKLES]

Oh! Where we going?

Wrong way. [GRUNTS]

- Oopsie. Not working.
- [SIGHS]

We practiced this 100 times.

- ROSS: Oh, man. [SQUEALS]
- Give it to me.

- Oh.
- We're gonna come in again.

I'm so sorry.

[GIGGLING]

- My name is Leonard...
- [SCREAMING]

...but my friends call me Chuckles.

Oh-h*-h*-h*! Very generous!

- Thank...
- We mean no harm.

- [GRUNTING]
- We saw your island across the sea,

and we thought,

"Wonder what they're up to."

But there's no other place besides here.

- Yes, there is.
- Stop it!

- And we are from there.
- [GRUNTS] Please stop!

- We call it Piggy Island.
- [SCREAMS]

Oh, my God.

- P-I-double-G-Y Island.
- [SCREAMING]

Who else is out there?

My first officer, Ross, and I
have sailed everywhere.

- One brave soul against the sea.
- [PANTING]

And Ross.

RED: Uh, excuse me.

Have you come to smash
all of our houses or just mine?

- Oh, man!
- [CROWD MURMURS]

LEONARD: Somebody want a gift basket?

Please, please, don't be afraid.

- [ALL SIGH]
- My partner and I request

the honor of your friendship.

- Ross, show 'em how we do it.
- Oh! [CHUCKLES]

- Don't worry, he's had all his shots.
- [SHRIEKS]

- We're all friends now!
- [GRUNTS]

Hi, friends.

[LOW GROWLING]

[SNORTS] Oh, not a hugger.

Huh? [SIGHS]

Welcome to Bird Island!

Welcome to our new friends, the pigs.

Let us have a celebration!

- Put 'er there!
- [MUFFLED] Welcome!

- Whoo! Sorry.
- And a hoof to a wing.

STELLA: We would like to honor the pigs
with a special performance.

[UPBEAT SONG PLAYS]

Hey, let's explo-o-o-ode!

Explode!

- Oh, watch out. Shakin' my bacon!
- [WHOOPS]

They don't have feathers?

You know, they're just
walking around naked,

just presenting themselves.

I'm looking at all their business here.

That part about them I really admire.

Now we would like to welcome
our special guests, the pigs!

- [ALL CHEERING]
- LEONARD: All right!

Thank you for your
kindness and hospitality.

Our king sends his warmest regards.

"King"?

You have shared with us the wonders
of your quaint, simple little island.

- Drop the banner, Ross!
- [ROSS GRUNTING]

- Whoa! Uh-oh.
- Now we would love to humbly share

some of the wonders of our world.

[SCOFFS] Yeah. Humble, my bird butt.

Language.

A hundred years from now,
everyone will ask,

"How did the friendship between
the pigs and the birds start?"

Who cares?

- Oh, no.
- [CROWD GROANS]

Well, let them say we lit up the night!

[CROWD GASPS]

Holy moly!

- [LAUGHING]
- [CROWD CHEERING]

Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, look, they destroyed more of the stuff
we worked hard to build.

- But there's more!
- CHUCK: More?

Has gravity gone haywire?

No! Even better!

Your friends, the pigs, proudly give you

- the trampoline!
- [CROWD GASPING]

- Those are my assistants, Oinky...
- Hello.

- ...and Jon Ham!
- [BLOWS KISS]

Hold on a second.

I thought there was only supposed to be
two of these guys.

LEONARD: Squad goals!

- Look at those jiggly pigglies!
- ALL: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

But that's not all.

Throwing things just got
a whole lot easier.

Say hello to

the slingshot!

- Ta-da!
- Ta-da!

- I can't see. Wow!
- This is crazy!

- Tired of carrying things from place to place?
- CROWD: Yeah!

- Wish you could just get it there?
- CROWD: Yeah!

- Well, now you can!
- CROWD: How?

- Waiters, do me a favor.
- Huh?

- Take the rest of the night off.
- Thank you.

Hey, if you got the night off,
why don't you fix my house!

Yeah, it's the same guy. [CHUCKLES]

Well, the slingshot
does it all in three easy steps.

Ready, aim, fire!

I got it!

LEONARD: Incredible!

- Flown in fresh!
- Me! Me! I want fruit!

Guys, it's the same fruit sitting
on the plates in front of you.

[GRUNTS]

- LEONARD: Watch out for that pineapple.
- Somebody, please... [GULPS]

And now for our last gift to you.

Shut up and fix my house!

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE] We don't know him.

I'm going to ask for
a volunteer from the audience.

- Pick me!
- [ALL SHOUTING]

Who should I pick?

- Who, who, who?
- BIRD: Pick me, Mr. Pig!

How about the red guy
with the enormous eyebrows?

- Aw.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Me?
- Mmm-hmm.

- Yeah!
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yes, you, sir.

Come on up here.

It's your lucky day!

Are you sure you don't want to choose

one of the hundreds of birds
that had their wings up?

- LEONARD: Get him up here!
- Come on, Red!

Have some fun!

ALL: [CHANTING] Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Oh, he's shy.

You hear that?

They're cheering for you.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

- LEONARD: Red guy with the eyebrows!
- [CROWD CHANTING]

I would've sat closer had I known
that I was gonna be part of the show.

Okay, now what?

- Come on, give him a hand.
- [ALL CHEERING]

Right this way. Come on. [SNORTS]

Relax. Be brave.

- Ready!
- Who, me? Yeah, no, I'm ready.

- Aim!
- Aim at what?

- LEONARD: Everybody on this one.
- ALL: Fire!

- [SCREAMING]
- [CROWD GASPS]

Who says birds don't fly?

This seems really unnatural!

- [GASPS]
- I hope he's okay.

[SCREAMS] Ow!

[GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

Hey, don't worry!

I'm fine!

Thanks for the lift!

I wish they would have done that


Oh.

[WHOOSHING]

You know you want to search their boat.

What? No, I don't.

Yeah, you're right, I do.

[WHOOSHING]

b*mb's on his way. Mmm. Mmm!

Come on. Let's go. [GRUNTS]

And remember, keep it quiet.

Oh, yeah.

[GRUNTING]

- Whoa! This is an impressive ship!
- Shh. No. Inside voice.

Inside voice.

- Come on.
- Oh.

[WHISPERS] Sorry.

- [DOOR CREAKS]
- [GRUNTS]

Hmm. Piggy fitness.

Mmm-hmm.

[SQUEALS QUIETLY]

Ugh!

Mmm? Mmm-mmm.

Ah!

- [ENGINE REVVING]
- [HORN PLAYING LA CUCARACHA]

- Very strange.
- Mmm.

Mmm.

- Huh? [GASPS]
- Huh?

Who are these weirdos?

- [b*mb GRUNTS]
- Huh?

- Whoa!
- [b*mb WHOOPING]

[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHING]

What are you doing?
We're trying to sneak around.

- We didn't rent this place out.
- b*mb: Wow!

- You can rent this place?
- [CLICKS TONGUE] Hmm?

- Give me that!
- Aw.

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[BOTH GASP]

- b*mb: Hey, you guys!
- [GRUNTING]

No.

Looks like there's
some more stuff down here.

[PIGS LAUGHING]

[SNORTING]

[LAUGHS] We were hiding.

When I say, "Hey!" you say, "h*!"

- Hey!
- CROWD: h*!

- Hey!
- h*!

There's more of them!

Hey!

- [CHANTING STOPS]
- h*... Oh!

That's right, I'm back. Uh-huh.

Enjoying the party, everyone?

Because while you were living it up,
I snuck onto their boat.

- CROWD: What? [GASPS]
- SHIRLEY: What did he say?

And look at what I found.

[CHUCKLING]

There's more of them than we thought!

Which is, um, mysterious and weird,
am I right?

[LAUGHS]

Hi.

- How ya doin'?
- Oh.

Remember, he said there were
only two pigs on board,

but he was obviously lying.

Hmm.

Oh, and there are strange devices
on their boat!

So, clearly, there's, you know,
some messed-up stuff going on here.

How messed up? I don't know.

What specifically?
I don't know that, either.

Any questions?

[GASPS]

Sweet!

You snuck onto their boat?

Uh, you know, I don't need a reward.

If you guys are trying to think of what
honor to bestow upon me, don't need it.

- Boo!
- Yeah, boo 'em!

CROWD: Boo!

- You're booing them or me?
- You!

Oh, it's me.

Perhaps I can explain.

You see, my cousins are simple folk.

Watch.

[SINGING] A, B, C...

- Nothing. See? Nothing.
- [GROANS]

I didn't want to risk their lives
until I found out that the...

The new world was safe.

We were gonna put on
a cowboy show for you.

[SNORTS] Let 'er go, boys! Yee-haw!

[UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS]

[SINGING] Hey, hey, you and me
Different as different can be

[SHUSHING]

...and I'll take the low...

- [MUSIC STOPS]
- Ixnay on the ongsay.

- That was Pig Latin.
- Oh.

- Ooh!
- But perhaps it wasn't meant to be.

Oh.

I believe that birds and pigs
are meant to be friends.

But if we crossed boundaries
that were not meant to be crossed...

Oh!

[CROWD GROANS]

Mr. Red, you've shamed not only yourself,
but our entire community!

Oh, I think you... You messed up there.

You said "shamed"
and you meant "saved," right?

I sent you to treatment
to deal with your problems.

Clearly, more treatment is required.

- No!
- No!

Do not trouble our honored guests again!

My friends, we would love
to see your cowboy show.

- CROWD: Yeah!
- Thank you. [SNIFFLES]

Thank you so much.

- [MUSIC PLAYING]
- EARL: Come on, everybody!

Put your hands together!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!

- Whatever. Don't listen to me.
- [LAUGHTER]

- TINY: Party train coming through!
- Choo-choo!

[PIGS IMITATE TRAIN WHISTLE]

PIGS: [SINGING]
It's crazy that we're standing side by side

[GRUNTING]

Fighting just like two birds of a feather

Ah! I can't see. I can't see.

- Whoa!
- [WATER SPLASH ES]

Who's gonna tell us now that we can't fly?

Just some roughed-up desperados

Hanging tough through thick and thin

[CROWD CHEERING]

Kicking up dust wherever we go

Whoa! h*-h*-h*-h*!

I can see that you and me
Are gonna be friends...

Piggyback rides?

Yee-haw! Let's move it, piggies!

Oh, boy.

Group picture! Group picture!

Everybody say, "Cheese"!

- Cheese omelet.
- Cheese!

[LAUGHS] Cheese omelet.

Classic.

Ooh! Spoiler alert. [LAUGHS]

- Step right up!
- Jump!

So, I'm thinking about what kind of nest.
I don't know.

I was in the store, and I saw this...

Whoa

Whoa-oh-oh

- Yee-haw!
- [CROWD CHEERING]

- I am famished... Whoa!
- PIG: It's chow time!

[PIGS CHEWING NOISILY]

Just some roughed-up desperados

- [SNORTING]
- Yuck!

Hanging tough through thick and thin

[SINGING] Hanging tough
through thick and thin

Kicking up dust wherever we go...

- Yeah!
- [CHEERING]

Ow!

[GRUNTING] What?

[SNORING]

To the end
You and me are gonna be friends...

[SNORING]

What the heck?

- [CHUCKLES]
- Who invited you to move in?

Hey! Whoa!

That's my toothbrush!

Get it out!

- [RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
- Whoo! Yee-haw!

Yee-haw!

[YELLING]

- [GASPS]
- [LOW GROWLING]

[DEEP CHUCKLING]

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE] Huh?

[MATILDA HUMMING]

All right, class, thought for the day.

Water is the softest thing,

yet it can penetrate mountains and earth.

Here's my thought of the day.
When are we done?

Ugh! Red, what the caterpillar calls the end,
the world calls a butterfly.

Can I just say I never understand
a single thing you're talking about?

[MOCKING] Can I just say...
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Ah. Mmm-hmm.

Wow, that's very lifelike.

[b*mb LAUGHS]

- Whoa! [CHUCKLES] Oh!
- So deep.

- And, Terence, let's see your...
- [LOW GROWLING]

Oh! My goodness.

- I did not know you felt that way.
- Aw...

Uh, class dismissed!

And now we've come to
the prestigious Palms district.

Hoo-whee!

Where birds of all feathers flock together
with eight kinds of fruit and nut trees.

Suck those bellies in.

- Insta-ham!
- [GIGGLES]

Hmm. Is that what I think it is?

That's an egg.

- That's how our children are born.
- [GASPS]

You guys don't lay eggs?

I wish we did.

♪♪

- [CORK POPS]
- Enchanté.

[BOTTLE SHATTERS]

You look delicious, my dear.

[LAUGHING]

Every time you are near

Just like me

They long to be

That's us.

[GULPS]

[LAUGHING]

Hey. Hello.

- Excuse me. Buddy?
- [RECORD SCRATCHES]

Those are fragile.

Maybe you shouldn't pick 'em up, all right?

- Not yours.
- Oh!

My friend from the banquet.

Well, that's a very good painting.

Very good.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, the assignment was "Paint Your Pain,"
so I painted your pain.

It's actually the first in a series.

- Here you go.
- Uh-huh.

- This one is nice.
- Oh.

I call this one Catharsis.

- And... Oh, I call this one Bye-Bye.
- Huh.

Wonderful likeness.

I thought you said
you stored your nuts for winter.

- [LAUGHTER]
- Burn.

All right, what's going on here?

Are you explorers, or are you staying?

Because if you're explorers,
then why are there more of you coming, huh?

- [SHIP HORN BLOWING]
- Hi, everybody!

- Whee!
- [LAUGHING]

RED: Not my house again!

- That's my home!
- PIG: Okay!

And you know what?
If you are staying, why don't you just say so?

And why'd you leave your home?

How do we know
you're not fugitives of the law?

You are making our guests feel unwelcome!

- And you're not asking basic questions.
- Oh!

Maybe I wasn't clear enough.

Your opinion is not needed!

Why do we have to agree?

Why does it matter that we're not the same?

Anger is not always the answer!

Continue the tour.

Um, surf's up, you guys.

- So, get ready to hang loose.
- That went well, if you're me.

- [PIG SNORTS]
- [LAUGHTER]

[SCOFFS] Dummy.

[LAUGHTER]

[SIGHS] We could really use you
right about now.

Wait, actually...

Hey, Chuck! It's Red!

- Zip on down here!
- [DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh! Hey, Chuck's mom.

Can your son come out to play?

- [WHOOSHING]
- [SLURPING]

All of this does not
just happen on its own.

[b*mb VOCALIZING]

- [b*mb YELLS]
- [expl*si*n]

[BOTH GRUNT]

Oh, hey. Just taking a shower.

- b*mb, buddy, TMI.
- [CHUCKLES]

RED: Now, I'm telling you,
something isn't kosher with these pigs.

Bull's-eye!

And it's up to us to figure it out.

Figure what out, exactly?

b*mb: I don't know,
maybe they're just being innovative.

Go ahead.

- All aboard!
- [LAUGHTER]

b*mb: Does seem a little odd, though.

[PIGS SCREAMING]

[WHOOPING]

- Nailed it!
- Flawless.

Come on, does none of this
seem wrong to you guys?

I'll tell you this, if anyone knows
what these pigs are up to...

- Hey!
- ...it's Mighty Eagle.

ANNOUNCER: Mighty Eagle!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, yeah!

[GRUNTING]

[ROARING]

Ha-ha!

Take that, tree! Hyah!

Eat my foot! Oh-yah!

Tasty! Yum, yum, yum! Mmm!

- [THUNDER CRASHES]
- [WHIP CRACKS]

Whoa.

- ANNOUNCER: Mighty Eagle!
- [GASPS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Peek-a-boo.

- Hello, Bird Island!
- [CROWD CHEERING]

[SPITS]

[CHUCKLES] You're welcome.

[SHRIEKS]

Does Mighty Eagle still live?

Did he ever live?

And if he did live, where would he live?

By the Lake of Wisdom in the Ancient Tree.

That's a fairy tale.

I've run all over this island.

Where could that possibly be?

Way up high.

It's a long way up that mountain,

and if I'm being honest, well, I mean,
you know, I could kind of use your help.

What's that? What are you trying to say?

Nothing. I was just saying
that I, you know, I could use your help.

Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear you
over your ego.

Could you enunciate
that last word a little bit?

I need your help!

Oh! Why didn't you say so?

b*mb?

Let's do it!

[GRUNTING] Phew!

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

If there is a Mighty Eagle, well,
how come we don't ever hear his battle cry?

I don't know.

Maybe we have.

What would a Mighty Eagle
battle cry sound like?

You know what? I think I got an idea.

Maybe something like, uh... [SCREECHING]

No, I bet it's more like... Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

That's theoretically what
it's more like, scientifically.

Oh, I got one. [SINGING OPERA MUSIC]

Ah.

Not bad. It's a good impression.

But in my head, I'm kind of imagining
it's something more like a...

[HIGH-PITCHED SINGING] Hey-you-h*!

Hey-you-h*!

Hey-you-h*!

That sounds about right.

Now I'm thinking maybe
it's a little bit more subtle.

- [PANTING]
- Like a little bit just more majestic, like...

[HARSH SCREECHING]

[ULULATING]

[HARSH SCREECHING]

[ULULATING]

"Hello, world!

"I am calling for you!"

[SCREECHY SINGING]

Stop making Mighty Eagle noises!

[SIGHS] It's like running a nursery.

Absolute child care.

[SING-SONG] Someone has anger issues.

[RED GRUNTS]

This, uh... This is the wrong mountain.

[b*mb GRUNTING]

My calves are k*lling me.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

[STRAINED GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

Whew!

- Oh, wow!
- Whoa.

- That is simply unreal.
- [GASPS]

- The Lake of Wisdom.
- [LAUGHING]

CHUCK: What are you guys waiting for?
[LAUGHING]

Guys, hurry up!

This is what Mama talked about!

[GASPS] Wow.

[SLURPS]

Ah!

Be honest, do I sound any wiser?

Oh, way wiser.

You were kind of dumb before.
I can say that now.

b*mb: That water is no joke.

- [GRUNTING]
- I can literally taste

the intelligence and wisdom

circulating through my body now.

Guys, nobody's here.
I mean, nobody's used this place in years.

What are you doing?

♪♪

Get out of there.

[GROANS]

- [b*mb GARGLING]
- Don't spit in his mouth.

- No, don't spit it back!
- [CHUCK GARGLING]

- Oh, don't swallow it.
- [GULPS]

[GROANS] Yuck!

[LAUGHING]

Whoo!

[DISTORTED LAUGHTER]

- [DISTANT ROAR]
- [GASPS] Whoa!

- [PANTS]
- [DISTANT RUMBLE]

- Get out. Let's go. Come on.
- [CHUCKLES]

Shh, shh. Come. Take your time, will you?

Red, I've found the meaning of life.
It's...

Shut your wormhole.

- [DISTANT BOOMING FOOTSTEPS]
- [ECHOING ROAR]

[ROAR ECHOING]

[FOOTSTEPS BOOMING]

Oh, wow! It's him.

[MIGHTY EAGLE SIGHS]

[MIGHTY EAGLE YAWNING]

[MIGHTY EAGLE GROANING]

[MIGHTY EAGLE SIGHS]

Oh, man.

[MIGHTY EAGLE HUMMING]

[TRICKLING CONTINUES]

[RETCHING]

- [MIGHTY EAGLE HUMMING]
- No. No. No.

Ew!

Ugh! Horrible turn of events. Horrible.

Whew!

[SOBBING LOUDLY]

[RHYTHMIC BRUSHING]

[MIGHTY EAGLE GROANS]

[MIGHTY EAGLE SIGHS]

[SMACKING LIPS]

Well, not so much the Lake of Wisdom,
it's more like the Lake of Whiz.

MIGHTY EAGLE: [ECHOING]
Did you just come here to look at me?

Or did you have something to say?

I think he saw us.

Oh, you think so?

MIGHTY EAGLE:
You have passed the first test!

You have found me.

- Whoa, whoa!
- Look out.

Behold.

Gaze upon

Mighty Eagle!

- [PANTING]
- CHUCK: Hmm?

I see all and know all.

What are your names?

If you know all,
why don't you know who we are?

Ow!

- I know very well who you are.
- Uh-huh.

You are lost souls
who have come here seeking wisdom.

Whoa!

Can we have some?

Wisdom is not something that is given.

It is something that is attained.

Okay. Goodbye.

No, no, no, no.
Will I help you attain wisdom?

- Whoa! Ha-ha!
- Yes. That I will do.

Right. So, the reason we've climbed
the mountain is that we want to know...

- Prepare...
- Okay.

...to have your minds blown.

Oh, son of a...

This guy is good.

[ECHOING] Welcome to the Hall of Heroism.

Wow! It's really amazing to meet you.

You know, I actually have your poster up...

You might want to shield your eyes
from the sparkle of those trophies.

How many? I have no idea.
Countless, I'm sure.

Thirteen.

Wow, this is way nicer
than my Hall of Wimpiness.

Bring it home, mamacita.

Get outta town.

- [LAUGHS]
- [CHUCK LAUGHS]

What the...

[WILD THING BY TONE LOC PLAYING]

Oh-oh-oh. Mmm-hmm.

[GRUNTING]

Those are some old-school moves there.

Yeah.

Wild thing
Wild thing, wild thing

Ooh! Oh-h*.

What?

[WHISTLES] Wow!

Yes!

Yeah. Cha!

Hasta la vista, baby

[MIGHTY EAGLE CACKLING]

So, he's kind of a wackadoodle.
You know, that doesn't mean he's not wise.

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

[ROSS LAUGHS]

Hey, are you tired of filling your balloons
with heavy old air?

Finally, there's a better way.

- Helium.
- Helium?

- It's a gas.
- [GRUNTS]

Aw, don't worry about your balloon.

- It'll just land in the ocean.
- [YELLING IN PAIN]

The fish love it.

It's good for their tummy.

[GIGGLING]

[SPUTTERING]

Free party, free party.
It's gonna be the piggest party of the year.

[ROSS SCREAMING]

- Party! Get a birdsitter.
- PIG: Let's go, piggies.

Well, now, that is some fine handiwork.

- Hey, Judge, you're under arrest.
- What?

- For looking too good.
- [LAUGHING]

Hello. What about me?

Do... Do I get a plus one?

- Oh! Thank you.
- Let me see, let me see.

- [MUFFLED SNEEZE]
- [ROSS SCREAMING]

Oh, that was a wet one.

[ENGINE IDLING]

[GIGGLING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

ALL: Ooh!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

- Almost there. Don't rush me!
- [HORNS HONKING]

Deep breath, deep breath.

[EXHALES] And we're back in the now.

Who's ready for trust falls?

- I gotcha.
- PIGS: No, no, no.

- [LOW GROWLING]
- [MUFFLED SHOUTS]

PIG: Help.

[GUITAR PLAYING GENTLE MELODY]

[SINGING] Mighty, Mighty Eagle
Soaring free

Defender of our homes
And liberty

Bravery! Humility!

- [SCREAMS]
- Whoa!

And honesty

You must have grown up
singing this song in school.

Um...

Yeah. Yes, we did.

Um, right. Yeah.

Mighty, Mighty Eagle

Rescue me

Now, you do the second verse.

Uh... I, uh...

Come on.

- Me?
- Yes.

- Do it. Do it.
- Uh...

[SINGING] Mighty, Mighty Eagle
Flap your wings

Oh, yeah.

And fill up your big cave
With all your fancy things

That's it.

Politeness Good sportsmanship

That's not me.

And a long attention span

What?

Mighty, Mighty Eagle

Yeah!

Take it away, Charles.

Oh, great heroic Mighty Eagle

With finer plumage
Than a seagull

Oh, sing it.

[HIGH-PITCHED] Oh... Oh...

Oh, oh...

Um, ambidexterity Pottery

And bankruptcy

Ouch!

Uh, Mighty, Mighty Eagle

Harmonize. Harmonize.

[HARMONIZING] Rescue me

[CHUCK HOLDING HIGH NOTE]

[PITCH WAVERING]

Wow! You know it better than me.

- [MIGHTY EAGLE GRUNTING]
- So, anyway, the other day,

these pigs showed up out of nowhere,
and it caused me a great deal of suspicion...

- [MIGHTY EAGLE HUMMING]
- And he's walking out of the room.

Unbelieve... I don't get this.

This guy sits here on his butt, all alone,
clearly doesn't leave the house.

He talks a good game, but he
doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Sounds a lot like you.

Oh, good.
Thank you for your opinion, Chuck.

[b*mb CHUCKLES]

MIGHTY EAGLE: Hmm.

Well, hello.

- Hello? Mighty Eagle?
- What?

- What are you doing?
- Uh...

- I'm bird-watching.
- What?

- [SIGHS] Take a peek.
- Ah.

- Oh, you're disgusting.
- Oh, yeah.

Look, are you gonna help us or not?

- I am helping you.
- No, this is you helping.

Looking through binoculars,
spying on old ladies.

Whoa, whoa! What is that?

Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, my...

[GASPS] I was right.

I was right. I knew it!

b*mb, Chuck, hurry up! Get out here!

Uh-oh.

- [GULPS]
- Mighty Eagle, hey, fly us down there now.

No.

I'm sorry. What?

I don't do that anymore. I'm retired.

[SOFTLY] Mostly just tired.

Go handle it yourself.
This is everything I've prepared you for.

What? "Prepared us for"?

Hold on, did I miss something?

Let me just go through my notes
really quick. Let's see.

Crazy stuff, bragging,
crazy stuff, karaoke.

- No, see, I don't see anything useful here.
- [SLURPS]

The whole world,
everyone we know, is in danger.

Yes, it is.

So, off you go.

Hey, you know what?

I used to believe in you.

When I was a kid, I believed
nothing really bad could ever happen

because you were here.

And now I see the fate of the world
hangs on idiots like me.

And that, sir, is sort of terrifying.

It's time for you to go.

You know, it's really upsetting to me
that you're the only bird that can fly

and you're too afraid to do it.

- [DISTANT EXPLOSIONS]
- [ALL GASPING]

Hey, guys, come on, let's go.
We're done here. He's no hero.

So, um, I'm having a party next Tuesday.

Could you just do, like, a little pop in?

- Come on.
- [GASPS]

Hmm.

Come on, run faster!

- [WHOOSHING]
- [GRUNTING]

- Ow! Ow!
- Oh!

[ALL GRUNTING]

- [expl*si*n]
- Come on, come on, come on, let's go.

- [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [CROWD WHOOPING]

- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- [CHUCKLING]

[HIGH-PITCHED] I sentence you all
to four hours of hard partying.

[LAUGHING]

- PIG: Look out below!
- [LAUGHING]

- [GASPING]
- Ooh!

CHUCK: They're taking the eggs!
RED: Follow 'em.

[PANICKED SQUEALING]

[EXPLOSIONS]

Oh, man!

[PIGS LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

PIG: Move it!

Right on time. Eggcellent.

[MANIC LAUGHTER]

Chuck, go shut that party down now!

Me? But I only know
how to get parties started!

- Go!
- On it.

- b*mb, we gotta stop 'em.
- Yeah.

[LAUGHING]

[GRUNTING]

Gotta get more speed!

[YELLS]

It's Chuck time!

PIG: Get to the ship!

- Move 'em out!
- [HORN HONKS]

- [LAUGHING]
- Catch.

[DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES]

Can everybody please stop partying?
There are eggs being stolen!

[SHRIEKS]

Matilda, we need your help.
The pigs are stealing our eggs!

What?

I'm airborne!

We have to get back to the village!
[SHOUTS]

Stop dancing and start running!

[GASPS] Hors d'oeuvres. My weakness.

- Come on, let's wrap it up.
- [LAUGHING]

- We gotta get the eggs off the ship.
- b*mb: Yes!

- LEONARD: Is everyone on board?
- Let's go. Let's go.

Use the trampolines.

[GRUNTING]

- Can you get up there?
- [GRUNTS]

PIG: We've got intruders!

What the heck are they doing?

RED: Untie the ropes,
drop the eggs in the water.

- [SHIP HORN BLOWING]
- Get rid of 'em! Get him off of there!

It's too strong. I can't break it.

Ah! b*mb, blow up the chain.

LEONARD: Knock 'em down.

[PIGS LAUGHING]

Come on, b*mb, you can do this.

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

- [GRUNTING]
- RED: Come on, b*mb, you got this.

Blow up.

You gotta get me mad.

Okay, well, then what makes you mad?

Try insulting me on a personal level.

Um... Oh, oh, uh... Your poetry stinks.

You're just a bad poet. And you know it.

- [SOBBING] I know! I know!
- [HISSING]

- Hey, who wants a birdie bath?
- [GASPS]

- Mmm!
- [SCREAMING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[COUGHING]

Oh, I'm sorry, Red. I couldn't do it.

Don't give up. This isn't over.

LEONARD: Thanks for your hospitality.

[ALL LAUGH]

Set sail for Piggy Island.

- [GRUNTS]
- [GASPING]

[BOTH GASP]

[SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

[GASPS] Oh, no.

We'll find them.

Oh. [SIGHS]

[SOBBING] Oh!

They're all gone.

[SNIFFLING]

Shh, shh. It's okay.

[b*mb SNIFFLES]

[CHUCK SIGHS]

Mr. Red.

What do we do now?

Wait, hold on, you're asking me?

You knew. You tried to tell us.

But we didn't listen.

I didn't listen.

Red, we need a leader.

- What are we gonna do?
- What do we do now?

Wait a minute. I'm not a leader.

Okay, pigs stole our kids. That sucks.

Made all you guys look like idiots.

You know what we gotta do?

- We start replacing those kids.
- [CROWD GASPS]

Ladies, get busy!

We're gonna be laying some eggs tonight.

No, no, stop. No, no, no, no. No.

We're not gonna replace those kids.

We're gonna get them back.

How are we gonna do that?

What do you mean how?
The pigs already showed us how.

That is where they went.

And so, that is where we're going.

But how do we get from here to there?

I am not aquatic in the least.

Well, uh, you know, uh...

We're gonna build our own boat.

CROWD: Huh?
BIRD: What are you talking about?

They stole your kids...

No.

They stole our kids.

I mean, who does that?

Have you ever stolen
anyone's children, huh?

Have you?

I mean, you look like you would.

And you know what? I'm a little bit angry.

Correction. I'm really angry.

- [CROWD MURMURING]
- And I don't think I'm the only one.

Come on, we're birds.
We're descended from dinosaurs.

- We're not supposed to be nice. Right?
- [EXCITED CHATTER]

[ROARING]

[SQUEAKS]

Uh, yeah. Point... Point made.

Who else here is angry?

- CROWD: I am!
- Yeah, you are.

We're getting our kids back.

And I don't need any calm,
detached, happy birds.

Not gonna help us. Don't need it.

I need some angry flockin' birds.

- [CROWD CHEERING]
- You hear me? Now, who's angry?

- ALL: Yeah! Yeah!
- Let's go!

Bring me everything that floats.

Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. Yeah.

[GROWLS MENACINGLY]

[GROWLS APPROVINGLY]

[HOWLING]

RED: With every single feather of my being,

I am not gonna let any of these eggs
get taken from their parents.

[GROWLS]

[SCREAMING]

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[GROANS]

Chuck, I need you to
tie those crates together.

You got it.

- [CHEERING]
- Done and done.

Uh, a little help here?

- Let's go. Move it, everybody.
- [SHOUTING]

HAL: Push with your upper body.

- BUBBLES: I have no upper body!
- [GROWLING]

Darn good for a bunch of birds.

- Whoo!
- [ALL CHEERING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

All right!

When I say, "Eat the," you say, "Eggs."

- Eat the...
- ALL: Eggs.

Wow! What a reception!

All right, snouts up.

- [WHOOPING]
- [PIGS LAUGHING]

Man, it's a snout staircase.
Who thinks of that?

- [CHUCKLES]
- [FANFARE]

ANNOUNCER PIG:
Welcome home, King Mudbeard!

[CROWD CHEERING]

My father and my father's father
and my weird Aunt Chloe

- have all searched for the eggs.
- Hey!

- But only I, King Mudbeard...
- Ah!

My pom-pom.

- ...have found them.
- PIG: We love you, Leonard!

I present to you the eggs!

[CHUCKLING]

- [SCREAMING]
- EARL: Oh, man!

Say goodbye to Harvey.

- A feast!
- [CROWD GASPS]

I proclaim a feast two nights hence.

[ALL CHEERING]

Let's go make some omelets!

[LAUGHING]

Oh, I feel a little nervous inside,
but that's normal, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Uh, anybody else got butterflies
in the stomach?

- Yeah.
- [SPUTTERS]

RED: Probably because
you ate too many caterpillars.

Hmm... Mmm.

Drop your nuts and move your butts!

- Come on, let's go!
- [CLAMORING]

[YELLING]

CHUCK: Oh, no.

[CROWD GASPING]

STELLA: I wasn't expecting this.

RED: Oh, hold on a second.

That guy's the king?

He's got to have the eggs
with him in the castle.

- What the heck's a castle?
- And that's where we're going.

Hey, guys, do you remember
everything you learned in my class?

- Yep.
- Nope.

- What class?
- Well, forget all of it for now.

Now it's time to let loose.

Oh, good, because I never
learned anything anyway.

Oh, me, neither.
I actually just came to socialize.

I came for the snacks.

You don't happen to have any now, do you?

Ooh! Deep breath, deep breath,
[IN DEEP VOICE] deep breath!

How are we gonna get over those walls?

Uh...

I'll tell you how. We're gonna fly.

Remember, the goal is the castle.

Get to the castle.

Who wants to go first?

- Over here! Me! Me! Me!
- I do!

Hey! All right, Matilda.

Aw! Always a bridesmaid.

Step right up, keep your wings, legs and
feet inside the slingshot at all times.

- sh**t it!
- Okeydoke.

Fire!

[SCREAMING]

[CHUCKLING]

And a one and a... Whoa!

Take that, porkers!

EARL: Incoming!

- MATILDA: Boom, baby, boom!
- [PIGS SCREAMING]

Well, how about that?

My teacher can sh**t fireballs
out of her butt.

You! What's your name? Hal?

I've seen you
do something strange before, right?

Well, let's see, I'm really good at...

- Doesn't matter. Launch him.
- [HAL SCREAMING]

Oh, this guy looks good.

CHUCK: He's gonna make it!

[BABBLING]

This is incredible.
We're witnessing history right now.

RED: Nope. He's coming back.

He's coming, duck. Get down.

[SCREAMING]

Uh, did we win?

Uh, no, not quite yet, buddy.

We're still tied.
Hey, can we get an ice pack for Hal?

- Medic!
- All right, who's up next?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What can you do?

[SNEEZES]

Ugh! [SHUDDERS] Yuck!

b*mb: Uh, need a tissue?

[SCREAMING]

[SQUEAKING]

Who's next? We need fliers, not standbyers!

Let's go!

You go out there and you show them
how frightening mimes can be.

Yeah!

Oh, my God!

[SINGING] We're having a feast
We're eating the eggs

Gonna have a big feast

[MIME SCREAMING]

We're gonna eat all the eggs

[GASPS] What?

- What is that?
- [GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

Fire!

That guy again. Ah!

Citizens of Pig Island...

- [GRUNTS]
- [SCREAMS]

...if you spot any birds
destroying your neighborhood,

please, capture them.

- What did he say?
- LEONARD: There's been a change of plans.

We will eat the eggs for lunch.

- Did he say, "Eat the eggs"?
- [GAGGING]

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

Hmm. Mmm.

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

Okay, I want you to curl
up into a little ball.

All right? Make yourself aerodynamic.

Like this? [INHALES]

- To the left. To the left!
- Let me at 'em!

Launch!

[YELLING]

Don't mess with Bubbles!

PIG: Get him!

- Piggy pile!
- Hog-tie him!

I told you not to mess with me!

Wow! That blows.

In a good way.

- CHUCK: To the left!
- Hold on, wait.

My left or your left?

[GROANS] My left is your left.
We are facing the same direction.

Right. Good call.

Just look where the last bird went
and adjust from there.

- I got this, you guys.
- All right.

[YELLING]

- [GRUNTS]
- [PIG SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

[DISTORTED SHOUT]

- STELLA: Hi-yah!
- [PIGS SCREAMING]

[COUGHS]

[PIGS GASPING]

She got far, but not far enough.

- Uh-oh.
- Get out of our town!

We have to get closer.

Judge power...

[YELLING]

- Oh!
- Trial by fire!

No, literally, he's on fire right now.

Can somebody please help him?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down

[GRUNTING]

Never gonna run around

Mighty Eagle!

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING]

Terence, I got an idea.

Do you think you can pull the slingshot
back far enough to hit that giant boulder?

[TERENCE GRUNTS]

Okay. Launch me
right towards the top of that thing.

[LOW GRUMBLING]

Ready?

Red, I'm not gonna lie to you. I am

[SOBBING]
really gonna miss you when you die.

Rest in peace, my friend. Rest in peace.

Hey, guys, let's not get cheesy, okay?

Ready? Fire!

[SCREAMING]

[GROWLS]

This is gonna hurt.

[GRUNTS]

- [RED YELLING]
- What was that? Huh?

[SCREAMING]

My roof!

Did he make it?

I hope he's okay.

I'm in!

- Yeah. I knew he'd make it!
- [ALL CHEERING]

Send everyone else!

Guards! There is a red bird in these walls.

- [GUARDS GRUNTING]
- Bring him to me.

- Aye, aye, sir.
- Roger that, boss.

[GRUNTING]

Not in these walls.

In the castle!

Come on, you guys.

Here, pretty bird. Here, pretty bird.

[STRAINED GRUNTING]

Whew!

Transport the eggs!

ALL: [CHANTING] Trot, trot, trot, trot, trot...

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

Launch me exactly the same way
you did for Red...

I wasn't ready! [SCREAMING]

Faster!

[YELLING]

[GULPS]

[GRUNTING]

[EXHAUSTED SIGH]

Chuck, is that you?

[SOBBING] This is the house of horrors.

I gotta be honest, you look a little, um...

Fine. You look fine. Come on.

b*mb's on his way.

[ULULATING]

- Ouchie!
- [CHUCKLES]

[GRUNTS] Ha! Call in the Piggy Air Force!

[ALARM BLARING]

LEONARD: My loyal subjects,

the treacherous birds
have repaid our friendship

with an unprovoked act of aggression.

- [SCREAMING]
- The attack will fail.

We have glass, we have wood, we have TNT.

We tried to k*ll them with kindness,
and now we're just gonna have to...

- Well, you know.
- Bye-bye.

[SCREAMING]

Who's gonna go next?

[LOW GROWLING]

BIRD: Aim for that ramp.

[CHEERING]

CROWD: [CHANTING]
Terence! Terence! Terence!

- [SLINGSHOT CREAKING]
- [CHANTING CONTINUES]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

CHUCK: No eggs in here.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Hey! Whoa! I'm on this.

BOTH: Redrum.

Uh, never mind.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

PIG: Backup engines!

[WHOOPING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, hold on a second.

Wait, I know that rear end. That's b*mb.

Yeah, Chuck, that's not his rear end,
that's his face, man.

- Sorry, b*mb.
- No prob.

Easy mistake to make.

- Thanks for getting me out.
- [MUFFLED GRUNTS]

PIGS: [CHANTING] We want eggs!

We want eggs!

[LAUGHING]

- He was sick, but then he got cured.
- [ALL LAUGH]

"No eggs in here." [GASPS]

Ooh, these are clever pigs.

Okay, look, I'm gonna run up
and tackle the pig on the left.

b*mb, you could handle two.

Chuck, I don't know if you can help.

We gotta figure out a way to get into that

- [DISTORTED] roo...
- [CHUCKLES]

...oo...

...oom.

Anyone have any bright ideas?

[GRUNTING]

Uh... Huh?

You are gonna pay for that.

[SCREAMING]

What the heck just happened?

Oh, I'm sorry. You were saying?

And here we are?

b*mb: We found 'em! Uh-oh.

Aw, come on!

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

- b*mb: Red!
- Guys, come on!

Quick, follow him.

- PIGS: [CHANTING] We want eggs!
- Things are looking sunny side up!

[LAUGHING]

Guys, I'm here. Everything's gonna be okay.

We're gonna get you out of here.

- Hurry up, b*mb! Come on!
- I'm coming!

RED: Don't lose me!

Doesn't this nightmare ever end?

Oh, boy!

We want eggs!

What is he doing up there?
This is a civilized buffet.

[STRAINING]

[YELLING]

[GRUNTING]

Huh? [SCREAMING]

[GASPS]

Don't hatch now. Do not hatch now.

Get that red scab off my eggs.

- Hey!
- Oh, man.

- b*mb, are you okay?
- Oh, I've been better.

- PIGS: [CHANTING] We want eggs!
- Hmm.

I'm gonna get a running start.

[SQUEALING] Chuck time!

[GRUNTS]

LEONARD: Fine. Boil him, too.

- Let's pig out!
- [BUZZING]

Looks like it's just you and me,
pork belly.

I'll be taking that. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- [PIG SCREAMING]
- [PANTS]

- [GRUNTS]
- [BUZZING]

Hey! Oh!

No!

[GRUNTING]

[STRAINING] Red, we're coming!

Deep breath. [INHALES]

Ow! I'm in!

[GASPS] Classy joint.

MIGHTY EAGLE: Hello!

Where is everyone?

Mighty Eagle! Where's he going?

Oh, I can't believe I'm about to do this.

[SHOUTING BATTLE CRY]

Oh, my battle cry?

Coming in, coming in.

Mighty Eagle!

[GASPING]

[DISTORTED ROARING]

Whoa!

[CLAMORING]

Whoa, whoa! Oh-h*!

[GRUNTING]

[PIGS YELLING]

[CLANGS]

Mighty Eagle.

Mighty Eagle, wake up.
Come on. Oh, that's bad breath.

I can sleep late, Mom.
It's not a school day.

Throw them in the pot, too.

- I'll have the big turkey.
- [GRUNTING]

- Red!
- [GASPS]

- Hey!
- Whoa! What did I miss?

You gotta fly those eggs to safety.

I got this. Here we go.

[GRUNTS]

Oh-h*! Whoa, oh!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

[PIGS SHOUTING EXCITEDLY]

My eggs!

- Don't forget Chuck and b*mb!
- Who?

b*mb: Hey!
RED: Those guys!

MIGHTY EAGLE: Right, right.

- [GRUNTING]
- Gotcha!

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

[STRAINED GRUNTING]

You're not getting away that easy.

[ALL GRUNTING IN PAIN]

- No!
- [GASPS]

[CRACKING]

- Save yourselves!
- Hold on, Red!

I'm gonna save that egg.

- Red, don't be a hero. Red, no!
- No!

[YELLING]

[GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

Huh?

BIRD: Get out of town, everybody.

- Whoa!
- Get down!

There's just so many of them!
We're outnumbered!

What? How many?

Oh, no, not that many.
Just the right amount, really.

No need to look back.
Just keep flying. Faster!

[GASPING]

I'll take that.

- No, you won't.
- Get him!

- Gimme that!
- [GRUNTS]

Ow! Ow! Ow!

[PANTING]

You just don't know when to stop, do you?

Here's a two-word answer... Uh-uh.

LEONARD: Looks like your little
slingshot game ends here.

- Gimme that!
- Not gonna happen!

- [CREAKING]
- [GASPS]

Oh, no.

[PIGS YELLING]

Get out of my way!

[YELLING]

PIG 1: Every pig for themselves!

PIG 2: I quit!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoa!

Whoa!

I know what I gotta do.

I gotta blow up that ramp.

And that would be a good plan
if you were good at blowing up.

I need to stop those planes.

Remember me, Chuck. Remember me!

b*mb's away!

[YELLING]

[GRUNTS]

[PIG SQUEALING]

- Oh, hi there.
- PIG: Here, chickie, chickie, chickie.

This little piggy popped.

This little piggy exploded.

And this little piggy went,
"Wee, wee, wee, I want my mama!"

Whoa-h*-h*-h*!

[CHUCKLES]

Come on, b*mb, you can do this.

Blow up! Blow up!

Uh-oh.

[CACKLING]

Oh, no.

Think expl*sive thoughts. [GRUNTS]

Surprise parties!

Yoga poses!

[CACKLING]

Pigs in airplanes!

[YELLING]

b*mb: I blew up.

- On purpose.
- [PANTING]

You're wrecking my house.
What's wrong with you?

You wrecked my house.

Your house was ugly.

Well, now we're even.

[GRUNTING]

[YELLING]

Aw!

[PIG GRUNTING]

Strike!

[BOTH YELLING]

Run! Run!

Guys, look out!

Everyone, stand back.

[WHIMPERING]

[GROWLS]

Terence?

Put on your seat belts, everyone. Trust me.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[PIGS PANTING]

[GROANS]

Well, this is dynamite.

Hmm. [GASPS]

- There you are.
- Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

- [CACKLES]
- Oh!

[GRUNTING]

Delicious bird eggy-weggy. Ooh!

You can't eat eggs!

What are you gonna do? I'm a foodie.

[CREAKING]

It's over. You're finished, Eyebrows.

- [CACKLING]
- FEMALE CLASSMATE: Eyebrows!

- [GRUNTING]
- CHUCK: Someone has anger issues.

JUDGE PECKINPAH:
Anger is not always the answer!

[EXHALES]

Well, you know what?

I guess you win.

What?

That was an awesome plan.

Mindblower. [IMITATES expl*si*n]

- [CHUCKLES]
- Really? Well, thank you.

You know, a lot of hard work
goes into my sinister plans.

It does. [CHUCKLES]

Nah, I mean, your plan was great.

But you didn't plan for this!

- [GRUNTS]
- [GASPING]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

You have annoyed me for the last time.

Yup.

Ah!

No!

[GRUNTING]

CHUCK: Faster!

- Whoa!
- [SCREAMING]

[YELLING]

[STRAINED GRUNTING]

Cramp. Cramp. [GRUNTING]

FEMALE BIRD: It's him!

Look at that!

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

BIRD 1: Jeez, is that Mighty Eagle?
BIRD 2: It's him!

Wow, this guy looks
nothing like his statue.

- Honey.
- [GASPS] Our eggs!

- Are you okay?
- Chuck, my man.

- Did you see what I did back there?
- Yeah.

Oh! This egg is the spitting image of you.

- There. Safe and sound.
- [GASPS]

- [SIGHS]
- Oh!

[SOBBING]

- [expl*si*n IN DISTANCE]
- Oh!

- [GASPS] Where is he?
- Red?

[BIRDS MURMURING]

FEMALE BIRD: Where is he?

[YAWNS]

Oh!

CHUCK: I think he might be dead.

- [SOBBING]
- [SNIFFLING]

[CRYING]

[COUGHING]

- Daddy!
- [GASPING]

- He's alive!
- [HAPPY SHOUTS]

He's alive!

- [BIRDS CHEERING]
- [GROANS SOFTLY]

- [GASPS]
- What?

[BABY BIRD SQUEAKS]

[SQUEAKING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

- [LAUGHING] Yeah!
- Oh-h*!

Red, you're alive! I thought you had died!

Or defected to the pigs' side.

Hey, buddy, way to not be dead.

Hey. It's good to see you guys.

Come on.

- [ALL CHEERING]
- [LAUGHING]

[JUDGE PECKINPAH GRUNTS]

RED: Sir. Ma'am.

- [BOTH GASP]
- I think these belong to you.

[SQUEAKING]

Oh! [LAUGHS]

[ALL GIGGLE]

[CHUCKLES]

[CRYING] Thank you.

[OLIVE LAUGHS]

Oh, Crimson, Woody, Ash.

- Who?
- Is he talking to us?

You learned your lessons well.

Come on, bring it in.

- [GRUNTING]
- No. I'm not really the affectionate type.

[MUFFLED GRUNTING]

Okay. Does it feel like
this is crossing the line to anyone else?

- Yup.
- Nope.

- [ALL EXHALE]
- You're my prize pupils.

- Your prized what?
- [LAUGHS] Don't you see?

I had to make you lose faith in me so you
could learn to have faith in yourself.

That's really not how it felt.

Tell them, Rosy.

Yeah, I don't think
that's what happened, man.

Oh, look, he's blushing.

[WRY LAUGH]

I'm not blushing. I'm just red.

- [LAUGHING]
- [CROWD CHEERING]

MIGHTY EAGLE:
Okay, who wants an autograph?

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[YOUNG BIRDS LAUGHING]

- Oh!
- MALE BIRD: Hoist it up.

- Nice.
- [GIGGLING]

Hmm?

[SADLY] Hmm...

- [FEMALE BIRDS SQUEALING]
- [LAUGHING]

Grand reopening. Get your worms.

[GRUMBLES]

JUDGE PECKINPAH: Well done, indeed.

CHUCK: Wow!

Is that you right there, Red?

Oh, really? Where? No.
They didn't have to do...

Oh, yeah.

That's funny, I don't remember
crying on my knees like that.

But, you know, it's nice.

Look at that.
They gave Mighty Eagle all the credit.

They made him look
so much more handsome than you.

- Mmm-hmm.
- You know, back when I was angry,

that would have really ticked me off.

- Ah, forget about that.
- Ooh!

You know what we should do?
Let's go to the village.

Let's do it.

No, actually, I'd love to
go hang out with you guys,

but, you know, I got this thing,
and I have another thing after that thing,

and there's all these
things in a row, so...

Would you look at that!

What the...

[SQUEALS]

Mr. Red, welcome back to the village.

[ALL CHEERING]

[WHISTLING]

- [b*mb SIGHS]
- [MATILDA LAUGHS]

Mmm!

Ta-da!

[CROWD CHEERING]

RED: Huh?

ALL: [SINGING] Mighty, Mighty Red
You rescued me

Defender of our homes
And liberty

- Bravery
- Humility

Anger-y

Mighty, Mighty Red You

Rescued me

[VOCALIZING]

[TERENCE VOCALIZING]

[HOLDS NOTE ALONE]

[GRUMBLES]

Oh, my God.

[DEEP CHUCKLING]

Mmm.

Hmm?

How did you guys
find the time to pull this off?

[CHUCKLES]

This is why we went to
go get pedicures, isn't it?

Nope. We got pedicures
because we're worth it.

- I got gels.
- You guys are something else.

To be honest with you,
I am gonna miss the beach view.

But so what? It's still there.

It's just not right there when I wake up
and look out my window.

Well, you can still look out your window
and see me and b*mb.

Right.

So, you know, pluses and minuses.

Okay. See you later.

Oh!

Well, this just got awkward.

That's really insensitive.

Want to go get a bite?

- Forget it. Let's just go home.
- Hmm.

Guys! I'm just messing with you.

Get in here.

[BOTH GASP]

[CHUCKLING]

b*mb: I knew it!
CHUCK: Let's be roomies.

b*mb: Roommates!
Oh, I can't wait to make a chores list.

RED: Wait, hold on a second.

CHUCK: I'll move my nest
in the master bedroom.

b*mb, you can stay in the guest house.

RED: No, no, no.
b*mb: Can we get a bunk nest?

CHUCK: This is gonna be perfect!
RED: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Guys! No!
- [b*mb LAUGHING]

[WHOOPS]

[MIGHTY EAGLE CHUCKLES]

And how to get along

Oh, yeah.

And so you're back from outer space

Groovin' out.

I just walked in to find you here

Watch this. Coming right at you.

With that sad look upon your face

I should have changed that stupid lock

I should have made you leave your key

If I had known for just one second

You'd be back to bother me

Go on, now, go

Walk out the door

Just turn around now

'Cause you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one
Who tried to hurt me with goodbye?

Did you think I'd crumble?

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh, no, not I

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

I will survive

Whoo! [LAUGHING]

As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive

TERENCE: Mmm.

I've got all my life to live

[WHOOPING]

And I've got all my love to give

I will survive
I will survive

Whoa. Whoa. [GRUNTS]

Go on, now, go
Walk out the door

[LAUGHS]

Just turn around now

'Cause you're not welcome anymore

[EXCLAIMING]

Weren 't you the one
Who tried to hurt me with goodbye?

Did you think I'd crumble?

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh, no, not I

I will survive

- [LAUGHTER]
- [WHOOPING]

ROSS: Come on, Leonard.

Leonard can't dance.

He's hatching a new plan.

- [DEVIOUS LAUGHTER]
- Yeah!

I will survive

Yeah, yeah

Okay, maybe I'll dance for just a sec.

[LAUGHING]

[WHOOPING]

Whoo! Show 'em what you got, Red.

Ba-boom! Come on, Red Stuff.

- No.
- Yeah, yeah.

Nice try.

- ♪♪
- [GASPS]

Hmm?

Uh...

Oh! Okay.

Mmm-hmm.

[SONG CONTINUES]

Ooh! Whoa!

I will survive

I will survive

Ooh!

I will survive

Yeah

OLIVE: There you go.

[FEET SCREECH]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

- Ooh!
- Wait. What are we doing?

[GRUNTING]

[ALL GASP]

Watch out.

[PANTING]

- [THUMP]
- Ow!

ALL: Whoa!

[CREAKING]

ALL: Mmm!

♪♪

Whoo!

There's a moment in this journey
that I gave up

My boots just couldn't walk another mile

And that cloud above me
had no silver lining

I couldn't buy a break with my last dime

Oh, but when I saw you
standing in the corner

I'd have never thought
that you would have my back

But then we rolled in
like the thunder and the lightning

Threw some punches, then we had a laugh

Just some roughed-up desperados

Hanging tough through thick and thin

Kicking up dust wherever we go

I can see that you and me
are gonna be friends

Who'd have thought
we'd wind up here together?

It's crazy that we're
standing side by side

Fighting just like two birds of a feather

Who's gonna tell us now
that we can't fly?

Just some roughed-up desperados

Hanging tough through thick and thin

Kicking up dust wherever we go

I can see that you and me
are gonna be friends

To the end, you and me are gonna be friends

Yeah!

Here we go!

Hey, hey, you and me
Different as different can be

You like to rock, I like to roll

You take the high and I'll take the low

Whoa, whoa-oh!

Whoa, whoa-oh!

Just some roughed-up desperados

Hanging tough through thick and thin

Kicking up dust wherever we go

I can see that you and me
are gonna be friends

To the end, you and me are gonna be friends

I can see that you and me
are gonna be friends

Yeah!