01x04 - retrograde

[bunniefuu]

How long I gotta be

married to your mother

before you respect our union?

I'm not calling you Dad, man.

Sorry if I interrupted

you and Jasmine earlier.

You good. I'm done with her.

At least you don't try

to impress n*gg*s.

That's what I like about you.

You brought her over.

You must like her.

I don't care about her.

She got a long second toe.

What's something that says,

like, I love you,

but also, I respect

that you're my professional superior?

You got your mom out here, like,

my sister won't even

answer the f*ck' phone.

sh*t crazy.

n*gg*s really don't

give a f*ck about me, man.

This is what them V-Vs do

You see the V-Vs,

I busted all the T-Ts too

Fantastic.

Yo, you heard that?

I said V-Vs and T-Ts.

Don't let that sh*t

go over your head, dawg.

Bark.

Bruh, no disrespect, man,

but I'm just trying to show you

this album cover I designed

and get out of here, like

n*gga, why you ain't just DM it to me?

'Cause my sh*t's been stolen

before even with the watermark.

Ah, I feel you.

n*gg*s ain't got no respect

for the artist, bro.

Exactly. So check it. Um

Can we, like, go into

another room or something, so

No. Baby sleep. Let me see it.

This sh*t hard.

- You did this?

- Yeah. Appreciate it.

So maybe you can just

CashApp me a hunnit

and then, you know,

I'll send you the files

and we can do it like that.

It's just

Yo!

Yo! Why would you do that?

- What the fu

- I'm not gonna hold you, bro.

I ain't got no bread, all right?

But I got 10K on the Gram. Okay?

We goin' viral. I'ma tag you. Okay?

All right, bro.

Yo. Let me out of here, man.

You got to wiggle it and jiggle it.

I'm f*ck' wiggling

and jiggling, n*gga.

Let me out of here.

Jiggle it, wiggle it.

Wiggle it, jiggle it

Spinning on the ops like a pendulum

Whoo!

- n*gga, you trash, bro!

- You just a hater.

You a TikTok rapper, n*gga.

You never gonna make it, bro.

Don't wake up the baby!

No one lives on Mercury,

but that planet controls

our communications.

When it's retrograde, we might

misunderstand each other.

Why so glum, chum?

Bruh, every time I try to sell

my work, I get played.

This n*gga really just stole my sh*t.

I'm I'm sorry.

Should I try to find a bright side

or just be sad with you?

Just say what you got to say, man.

Okay, well, he didn't pay you,

but if he took it,

that means he liked it.

Like, your last client hated your work.

Is that supposed

to make me feel better?

I see why they won't let you coach.

Bro, how did you

Was the door unlocked?

No. I cut a key.

I had to, ever since you

started locking your door.

Can't be too careful in this

neighborhood nowadays,

even if Flatbush is

being gentrificated.

Yo, can you make me one?

- Got you.

- Yo, Kareem.

Kevin and I were kind of

in the middle of something.

No, we weren't.

I mean, just let me We sort of are.

Well, what are you doing here?

I told Mom I'd be over

for dinner later.

We in a little contest.

And it'll make her

happy if you come over

and help us before dinner.

What contest?

Ah. Check this out.

We tryna win the Best Window Box

in the Greenest Block

in Brooklyn contest.

And they judging tonight.

So now we gotta go

and try to cram

some green sh*t into our box.

- Do you really need my help?

- I don't.

But your mama want to

spend some time with her son

who she ain't seen in months.

Now put your shoes on.

- Ah.

- Months?

And Maria said she ain't seen

your square head a*s neither.

- I've been busy, bro.

- I'm sorry, Kareem.

Tell her I'll be over for dinner.

I just I just want

to rest first, if that's okay.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You think I give a damn

about what you want?

I respect a woman's choice.

Now, everybody, let's go.

Family first.

I can't, man. I got a date tonight.

Oh, I stand corrected.

p*ssy does come before family.

Mm.

Come on, son. Let's go.

Who you f*ck' in that phone?

Jesus, dude. Come on.

Come on. Your boy Squarehead,

he getting a*s and he

ain't even paying rent.

You breakin' somebody's back, right?

No, I'm not breaking backs.

Are you at least bruising them?

What's bruising? No.

I'm not breaking or bruising.

- Come on, man.

- Hey.

What about the chick in your school?

- You smashing?

- She's my boss.

And I we almost did.

But I fell asleep before.

You supposed to get the a*s,

then fall asleep.

You kids do everything

backwards these days.

Well, I took too many benzos.

It's like this anti-anxiety pill.

They relax you but

then make you tired, so

Mm-hmm. Oh, no.

You're taking the wrong pills.

I got some sh*t that gonna

make your d*ck stand up

like a soldier in Buckingham Palace.

That's not the issue. It's

No, I mean, like a Confederate statue

that's been up for centuries.

Big, white.

You circumcised?

Dan, you're home! Oh, you're home!

This is so much better than

talking to you on the phone.

I know. I'm I'm sorry.

But I'm I'm here.

But I am sorry.

No, I'm sorry your

pills made you pass out

before you could have sex with

your professional superior.

Wait, wait.

How do how do you know that?

Yeah.

- Me and your mama communicate.

- That's true.

Maybe if you communicated,

you'd be f*ck'.

Okay.

- Baby.

- Yeah.

Where the horny goat weed pills at?

Oh, they're in the bedroom

under the mattress.

No, no. I'm never gonna use those.

I'm never gonna use those.

- Come here.

- I'm not gonna use those.

Well, you should.

I'm glad you could help me and

Kareem win the Best Window Box.

I just really want to beat Charlotte.

- Who's Charlotte?

- I told you about her.

She's this goy chick who

moved in down the block.

Right. Okay, okay.

I didn't remember "Charlotte,"

but "goy chick," I do remember.

- Okay. Yeah.

- She won last year,

and she goes on and on

on all the Facebook groups

about how green her thumb is.

She's got the perfect purple hydrangeas

and her happy family

photos in the window,

and her son is helping her,

and I just want to beat her.

Okay. Yeah. We'll try to

win so your neighbor's sad.

Kareem is gonna go pick

some more begonias

for our window to tape to the top.

You should go with him

while I finish dinner.

Oh, no. Like, I'd rather not.

I mean, I came to see you, so

You really don't like him, do you?

No, no, no.

Don't don't worry about that.

I don't, but you do.

It's okay. You married him.

You hate him that much

that you'll barely see me now.

Just five-minute phone calls.

I'm I really don't hate him.

I would not have married him.

But that's fine.

We have different types.

I just want you guys

to share something together.

Like, just it would be

nice to feel like a family.

Okay, okay, okay, I'll try.

Aww. Okay.

Mwah! Oh, my gosh.

I'm so happy you're here for dinner.

I am making steak, by the way.

Well, I've I've never seen you cook.

- You cook?

- Oh, sure.

You just follow each step,

and then add something random,

and it's unique and original.

Kev says hi, by the way.

He wanted to come,

but he has a date tonight.

Oh, is he still dating that nice girl?

The one with the she had the

birthmark on her right cheek

and the royal blue braces?

What? Keturah from eighth grade?

- Yeah.

- No.

- They they broke up.

- What's she doing now?

I figure she went to ninth grade.

And then after that,

it's anyone's guess.

Ashwagandha.

That should tie your

d*ck over in the meantime.

I don't need my d*ck tied. It's okay.

Come on.

These big, old n*gg*s

ain't gonna pick themselves.

They're begonias.

Don't say that at the store.

- Come on, son!

- Don't say son.

Ah ah ah

Mom seems really happy. It's weird.

What's weird?

You just see, like,

a very different version

of her than I've known.

When we met, she was always

going through this or that.

But when she's feeling down,

I pick her up.

Yeah. Well, thanks for helping her.

Of course. You know,

she does the same for me.

That's love.

- Keep a lookout.

- Yeah. Wait, what?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing?

- What are you doing?

- Competing.

That's right. I'm about

to k*ll these damn flowers.

Yo, stop. Let's get

the begonias or whatever.

Oh, no. We not doing that.

Look, you can play offense

or you can play defense.

And defense wins championships.

This goy b*tch is going down.

Oh, this is the goy

Yo, yo, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Yo, come on. Enough with

the weed k*ller, man.

Weed k*ller, no?

That's puppy piss, man.

Give me my bottle.

Why do you have

You don't even have a dog.

I used to.

- This is old.

- Okay, yeah.

I'm gonna go get the flowers.

I'll see you back there.

Have fun with this. Jesus, dude.

All right.

Steak and potatoes are ready.

Mmm!

- Aww.

- Mwah!

Ooh.

K, you smell like a natural disaster.

- What happened?

- Life happened.

Took us a few to pick up them flowers

'cause we had to

take care of something.

Oh, okay.

- I'ma go wash up.

- Okay.

Okay. I'm sorry, Mom.

I can't I can't stay for dinner.

- I just have to go.

- What? What happened?

I I just he's so weird.

He's just so f*cking weird.

He makes you happy?

This this guy makes you happy?

He's weird, I'm weird.

What's the what's the problem?

I'm glad I'm really glad

you're in such a good place now.

- I I can't forget how it was.

- What do you mean?

Like, I don't know who you are.

- You're taking ballroom dance?

- Can you believe it?

With how good Kareem already is

It just bugs me how

much better you are now.

How is me being better now a bad thing?

Because it's tough for

me to play house now

when I had to take

care of you for years.

I don't know, why couldn't

you fix yourself then?

You never took your meds.

Like, refused.

I had to constantly try

to fix your mood.

And I never could.

I had to try to make sure

you were okay always.

And I f*cking resent that.

And that's why it's hard for

me to come over and to see

this, like, weirdly happy,

calm, alternate world.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'm sorry. I've said I'm sorry before.

And I it wasn't

it wasn't fun for me either.

I want to see you. But you're an adult.

So either forgive me

or or don't.

I don't know.

What the I had her all happy!

Leave for two seconds,

and look what you did.

- It's okay, it's okay.

- I didn't do nothing.

Come on.

- Come on, babe. Come on.

- Okay.

- Yeah, okay.

- Come on, come on.

Breathe

breathe.

All right.

- All right.

- Okay.

- All right.

- Okay, yeah.

All right.

- I'm I'm sorry, Mom.

- Oh, it's okay.

I'm sorry I didn't take

my pills back then.

It's just that you had

to take them with water.

And I hate drinking water.

I know, I know.

Can you show me the photos of

Kareem teaching you to drive?

Oh, yes. Okay.

Here I am driving a truck.

Okay. Now, as Kareem says,

instead of 10:00 and 2:00,

think of it as 1,000 and 200

because trucks are bigger.

That's right!

That's exactly right.

He's so good.

Damn. f*ck, man.

Oh, sh*t.

- Yo, what you doing here?

- I came to get Mom's medal.

I texted you like five times, bro.

- My bad. I'm sleep.

- Yeah. I see.

That's why your a*s is always broke.

Get off, man.

I missed you, too, Georgia.

Oh, you want something to drink?

Nah, I'm good. I'm about to dip.

Me and Sade going to this hookah spot.

Now you stay doing dope sh*t.

n*gga, hookah's basic as f*ck.

My girl just need to

be basic right now.

Oh, you getting good

with the painting, son.

It's fire.

- I appreciate it.

- It's fire.

Yo, you think you can

get me a job at the label?

I just did an album cover

for this dude Mar 10s.

He, like, the hottest n*gga

in Brooklyn right now.

They saying he the next Biggie.

He got 100,000 followers on Instagram.

Everybody know this n*gga.

Never heard of him.

But I already told you. I'm a engineer.

- I can't help you.

- All right.

Yo.

- You sleep on this?

- Yeah, why?

Nothin'.

Thanks.

Ah, yeah. Perfect.

What, you leaving?

Yeah, man. What you finna do?

I ain't on sh*t.

I was supposed to link with this girl,

but she flaked on me, so I don't know.

Word.

Wanna do some shrooms?

- Yeah.

- Hell yes.

Let's do that sh*t.

You know how dogs are our pets?

He was saying that back

when it was dinosaurs,

there was bigger humans and

the dinosaurs were the pets.

I'm not saying no, listen,

I'm not saying that's facts.

I'm just saying it's not not facts.

- Whatever.

- I'm shady.

Yo, what are you doing?

You can't just wet lip someone

else's joint like that, bro.

Here.

Oh, my bad.

I only seen this done in music videos.

Oh, you gotta get out more, bro.

Being out just make me realize

how much I like being inside, you know?

- Am I the only one that's hot?

- n*gga, shut up!

- You k*lling the vibe, man.

- Y'all not hot?

Oh.

Thank you.

- Yo, Jas. What's up?

- Hey.

- What's up?

- What you doing here?

What you doing? What you doing here?

Hey.

Yo, the universe just keep

bringing us together, I guess.

Like, crazy, like

why you ain't just tell

me to meet you here?

This spot is dope.

Oh, my homie came

from out of town last minute.

- My bad for cancelling.

- Oh, where she at?

I got a whole section back here.

Oh, no, no, no. We good, we good.

I ain't trying to cramp your style.

- Don't worry about it.

- You're not cramping nothing.

No, it's all right. Just hit me later.

- We can just talk about it.

- Pardon me. No disrespect, son.

I ain't know which

flavor hookah you wanted.

So I just got all 12.

It's nuffin'.

- Oh, damn. You got all 12?

- Yeah.

Oh, sh*t. My bad. I'm sorry.

This my homeboy Kevin.

- Kevin, this is Rich.

- What's up, Kev?

What's up, man?

Yeah, I'ma just

So, like, I was thinking

about the grape or something.

- Grape? I got this.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Where'd you go?

- Um

b*tches, man.

Can you relight this

and then send it over there?

Yeah. Thank you.

n*gga, go get my f*ck' bottle.

Come on, man. It was almost done.

Chill, like

I had two glasses left.

So, what, I owe you, like, $32?

That was a $400 bottle, Kev, man.

400 for some Tito's?

- Couldn't be me.

- n*gga, it wasn't you.

Kevin, go get my f*ck' bottle.

All right. I got you.

Yeah, hurry up.

He's so stupid.

- What's up?

- Yo, my n*gga.

What the f*ck are you doing, bro?

I'm here with somebody, n*gga.

Are you dumb?

You flake on me to be out

here keke-ing with this n*gga.

Now you rejecting my hospitality.

How I'm wrong?

You're wrong 'cause you're over here

when you need to be over there.

Like, f*ck is you talking about?

- Take your bottle and go.

- Word?

So you don't want the Tito's?

All them times we was in the crib

and you said you wanted some Tito's.

Now I got you some Tito's and

you don't want the Tito's. Okay.

Kev, I don't know what your problem is,

and I'm not tryna be disrespectful,

but I'm not your girl.

I'm allowed to reschedule.

Yeah, you can reschedule,

but not today, Jas.

Like, I had a whole day

planned out for us.

You ain't even think to

ask me what I put together,

like

It's only so much time

we have left in this world,

and all we have are the

people we care about,

and I wanna spend time with

you 'cause I care about you.

- What you have planned?

- Huh?

What did you have planned?

We was gonna see a movie

and then I was gonna

be spontaneous with the rest.

Kev, look, I like you.

But all we do is Fire Stick and f*ck.

Sometimes I just want to get dressed up

and be taken care of.

So that's it?

All a n*gga need is 12 flavors

of hookah to bag you?

Yo, you a whole bird.

I don't even know

Okay, n*gga, you a whole f*ck' bum.

Like, you losing me.

This why I don't ask you for sh*t.

Don't f*ck' sit here and judge me

'cause I like nice things

that you can't afford.

But, Jas

You got me tight right now, my n*gga.

Look, you the one who said

you ain't need none of this.

I don't need none of this sh*t,

but it's nice to have,

and I'm definitely worthy of it.

You need everything you like?

- Nah, but

- Okay.

All right, well, stop making sense.

What I'm saying is

if you wanted this sh*t, you

should have just told a n*gga

this is what the f*ck you wanted

'cause then I wouldn't f*ck

with you from jump.

- It's easy as that.

- Kev

- Come on.

- Kev, get up.

- Nah.

- Kev, get the f*ck up.

- Why? For who?

- Oh, my God.

What's up, man?

It's good, bro. You thirsty?

No, n*gga. You thirsty. Thank you.

Damn, you strong as sh*t.

Take your f*ck' shot. Oh, my God.

Who was that? Your little cousin?

Yeah. On my dead stepmother's side.

I'm sorry about that, baby.

Shorty just been lying

to me the whole time,

talking about she like broke n*gg*s.

- Like

- Nobody likes broke n*gg*s.

Exactly. I know.

That's why I thought she was different.

I don't know, bro. I'll be honest.

- The b*tch ain't sh*t, Kev.

- Thank you! I've been saying.

'Cause anybody f*cking with you

right now is not a prize.

A b*tch with her sh*t together

does not want to f*ck no

n*gga that lives on a couch.

A b*tch that will f*ck with any

n*gga in your circumstances,

you gotta ask yourself,

"Does this b*tch respect herself?

Does she even have standards?"

Feel me?

'Cause if she's f*ck' with you,

the you you are right now,

she's out here makin' bad life choices.

You can't be with no b*tch

that's making bad life choices, man.

You deserve better.

I don't know how to feel.

You was about to fight over

a b*tch that wasn't your b*tch.

You should feel crazy.

Nah, you're right.

I was buggin', I was buggin'.

You just don't know

how to deal with adversity.

That's what it is.

Everything just came naturally to you.

You got good grades,

but you never studied.

You draw, but you don't practice.

You talented, but you lazy.

How you think I got

bottle money and b*tch money?

I worked for it.

I got bad grades,

and my underwears

had d*ck holes in 'em.

- sh*t wasn't easy.

- I feel like Dan.

Yeah. You f*ck' up, dog.

You moved here with no plans,

no connections,

you doing drugs now.

It's all bad.

You the one that gave me the drugs.

- What are you talking about?

- Yeah.

But I wouldn't have gave you that sh*t

if I knew you was gonna be

all tweaking and acting crazy.

You got boogers in your nose, man.

What if Mommy seen

you out here like that?

What would she think?

You got to get your

priorities in order.

You moved here. That's half of it.

Now you just gotta focus.

Invest in n*gg*s who invest in you.

Move out of that apartment.

- Or at least fumigate it.

- Yeah, you're right.

I'm not trying to be there forever.

- It's just

- And blow.

That sh*t nasty.

Mm.

It's gross.

Are you sure you don't

got no plugs at your job?

I wish it worked like that.

But yo, here.

Take this. sh*t got Photoshop on it.

Probably mad other stuff you could use.

I was gonna sell it, so don't trip.

Bro, thank you.

I love you, bro For real, for real.

- I love you.

- And I love you too, man.

I love you back.

I miss kicking it with you.

- We should link more often.

- I know. What's up?

- Let's get up next week.

- Mmm. Can't.

I'ma be in Europe

for, like, seven months.

All right, next year.

Maybe we'll get together next year.

- Maybe.

- Okay. Maybe.

Just call first, though.

- Yeah, definitely.

- All right.

All right.

Ooh.

WBKU's live-tweeting the

Best Window Box in Brooklyn.

- Whoo! Yes.

- Okay.

Tenth place.

- Not us.

- Okay. Huh.

Hey, y'all just leave

the door open or what?

- What's going on?

- Oh! There he is!

My favorite boy!

- What's up, aunty?

- Ooh!

- It's good to see you.

- Oh, gosh.

You are the absolute sweetest.

Now, are you sure you don't

want to get back together

with Keturah?

- From the eighth grade?

- Yeah.

She wouldn't even recognize me.

Oh, no, no, no. She would.

- You look exactly the same.

- Mm-hmm.

But let me know if you

need anything, okay?

Um, I'm good actually. Thank you.

Okay.

You know what?

If you could get Dan to get, like,

- a nicer couch

- Okay.

just, like, one of those loungers,

- that'd be sweet.

- Dan, buy Kevin a nicer couch.

Yeah, yeah. I heard.

That was a helpful domino right there.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Ah!

Damn, she looks so happy now, man.

It's crazy.

Remember when she

cursed out that bus driver

for stealing her purse?

That's still why she loves you.

You ran eight stops to get her.

Thank you for coming to this.

Yeah, man. You know, y'all

always come through for me,

so I figured I'll come

through for y'all.

I'ma gonna try to get you

some rent money too.

You don't you don't have to do that.

- Oh, bet. Say less.

- I mean, that would be good.

- Like, I would like that.

- I'm just trying to do better.

Man, hooking up with Jasmine

really cleared your head last night.

What? Bruh, f*ck Jasmine.

- Wait, what happened with

- Okay, here we go.

And the winner of

Brooklyn's Best Window Box is

- Hazel Telfort.

- Yeah!

- Whoo!

- That's what I'm talking about.

Yes!

Do do we know who that is?

No, but we know it's not

the woman your mama hate.

And it's not us, so basically, we tied.

- But I'm proud of you, honey.

- Aw!

That's right.

This block wouldn't

be nothing without us.

I'm talking it ain't sh*t, you know?

Aw, thank you.

I am so grateful for you.

- You are very welcome.

- Aw. Aw!

We are proof that love is blind.

And catcalling works.

Before I forget, you guys

come down to the bike shop,

and bring all your friends.

It's my grand reopening sale.

Buy one.

Mm-hmm.

That's it?

You still going to therapy?

Yeah. Do you want the name of someone?

Nah, I'm just making sure.

You know what?

It's Kareem family picture time.

- Yes!

- Come on.

Yes!

- Come on.

- I'm not taking a photo.

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on.

- Get up, get up.

- That's right.

Got to do it, got to do it.

Come on, you millenimals, come on.

You know, oh,

let's trade places so we match.

Yeah, yeah. Great.

Yeah, let's do that. Okay.

Can we take Can we take this photo?

- 'Cause I'm yeah.

- Okay.

Everybody say "cheese!"

- Cheese.

- Money!