01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

Best MDMA in Berlin, Dan.

And take it from me, the MDMA

in this city right now is

Ah, I mean, it's excellent.

Have you ever read Primo Levi's

essay on Shame?

He wrote it 40 years

after leaving Auschwitz.

He was trying to make sense of why

he survived and others didn't,

but he couldn't.

Year later he threw himself

from the landing of the house

that he was born in and fell

three floors to his death.

Dan, we're here.

On a rooftop. In Berlin.

The sun is setting,

this club is gorgeous,

and there is no-one here who is not

a grade one decent human being.

There will never come a better time

for you to drop a pill

than this exact moment.

Shall I just do half?

Well, you've never drunk or taken

drugs. Half is sensible.

But you did just bring up suicide

and the Holocaust,

in a nightclub, so

Are you feeling it? Yeah.

Your eyes! I literally just saw your

eyes just go Oh, my God! Yes!

Yes! Oh, wow.

How's it feel? Feeling good, yeah?

Yes.

This is the best juice

I've ever tasted.

What?

Oh, my God, that is amazing.

Do you want a sip?

Did you

Did you not hear

any of what I just said?

Were you talking?

Oh, my God! Yes!

I've been talking

for about two minutes.

Sorry.

Seriously thisthis juice,

though. Why is it so good?

Mm!

We're making this beautiful loaf.

So into a large bowl

..plus 650g of water

and all of the flour.

Now it's time to combine everything.

Work it until there's no dry flour

left. A curved And now

Shush, shush, shush, shush. ..let

the dough rest for 30 minutes.

This is called the autolyse.

When you give the

We are going to do

the stretch and folds here, too.

But since you guys

are more advanced,

we're going to first start

with this.

Slap down, pull back,

pull apart and fold.

And you'll see as I do this

that the dough will go from shaggy

and messy to smooth and strong.

Now, if I were using

my conventional oven,

I would pre heat to 485 degrees

Fahrenheit.

In my Rofco, I set the dial

to 250 degrees Celsius.

That's 482 degrees Fahrenheit.

You made this, Dan?

Yep.

Looks real.

It is real, I made it.

So you're aperson

who bakes bread now, then, eh?

Yes, I think maybe I am.

How was it? Berlin.

It was amazing.

I felt better there

than I've felt in years. Good.

That's good. You deserve that.

He won't be long.

He's just so good

at getting Dean down.

It drives me nuts, to be honest.

Have you, erm

heard from the Governor yet?

Expecting a call any day now.

I really should get a lawyer.

You haven't got a lawyer yet?

Dan, you need to get a lawyer.

Yeah, I know.

Dan. Get a lawyer.

Can't bury your head with this.

This is going to get real very soon.

Yeah, I know. It's just

Lee told you how we met, right?

Yeah.

You met in recovery?

Yeah, but did he tell you

how I ended up in recovery?

No. I mean, he said that something

happened, but he didn't

He didn't say what.

Well, I used to work as

a prison officer. You know that.

And I was on a young offender's

unit which They're the worst.

Justtestosterone raging,

teens trying to prove themselves.

One day in the chapel, I'm trying to

break-up a fight between three lads.

I get caught in the middle,

pushed to the ground

and they turned on me.

Kicked me in the head,

the face, ribs, kidneys.

And then eight other lads

ran over and joined in.

Jesus Christ, Laura.

Yeah

Yeah so, I was bedridden and

they put me on codeine for the pain.

And then when I did go back

..well, I hadn't seen the faces

of the lads who jumped in,

so every time I'm with one of them,

part of me's thinking, "Was it you?"

So I just fell deeper into codeine

and fell too deep to get out.

Thing was, I

..I hated those boys.

But I also found it hard

to blame them.

I mean, most of them had called me

"mum" by mistake

at some time or another

and I just

I just couldn't do it no more, Dan.

I was

..neither one thing nor the other.

It's being split that kills ya.

Jesus Christ.

I had no idea that

that happened to you, Laura.

Mm.

What am I going to do?

Carry it round with me

for the rest of my life?

Down. Boo-f*cking-yah.

God, you are so annoying. Well, what

can I say? The boy loves his daddy.

You coming?

See you. See you later.

All right.

So, you finally took drugs, eh?

Did you like it?

Yes, he liked it.

So you go abroad, drop an E,

come back, start baking?

Yeah, it's the new me.

It was either that

or learn Sanskrit.

And this baking, did it involve

using your oven, by any chance?

It did. Yeah.

I used my oven.

And?

And it took me an hour and 15

minutes to get out of the house.

I had to wait for the cooker to get

ice cold before I could walk out.

All right, here's what you do.

You're going out, right?

You pull a table

in front of your oven,

you put everything you need on it -

phone, wallet, keys, all of it.

You get ready, take a sh*t,

crafty wank, whatever.

Then you go back to that table

and you put each one of those things

in your pocket.

Then you touch each gas ring once.

You look in the oven once.

You look in the grill once.

Just the once. You don't do anything

more than once.

And then you say, "Goodbye and good

f*ck", and you walk out that door.

And then - and, Dan,

this is the most important bit

..you do not come back.

That sounds like surprisingly

good advice.

Thanks.

You're not inside yet, Dan.

You got your case, defence, appeals.

You take it one step at a time,

yeah?

You're looking better.

I'm back in the meetings.

Doing what I need

to, you know?

LAUGHS

And you?

Do you remember the, erm

..the prisoner that I told you about

that knew dad's pad-mate?

You're not talking to him again,

are ya? No, no, no.

I'm on suspension. I couldn't,

even if I wanted to.

But he told me

that the guy got released.

I checked the dates

..and I know who he is.

His name's Matthew Hall.

I've arranged to meet him

this afternoon.

OK. Look, I wish

that I could walk away.

I wish I could justmove on,

like you and Laura but I can't.

Mum says that I loved a man

that I know I hated.

How can I move on?

We want you to be Dean's godfather.

Me and Laura,

we're getting him christened.

We want you to be the godfather.

But he needs stability, Dan.

He needs a godparent who can walk

out the door and meet him on time.

Who isn't obsessed by a man

who tossed him aside

like a used snot rag 25 years ago.

Don't go and see this guy.

Just walk away, yeah?

Just walk away now.

Oh, f*ck this. Who's there?

Err, hello?

Is that Matthew?

Matty.

Matty, erm

It's My name's Dan Stewer.

We spoke on the phone.

You're f*cking late!

I know, sorry. Yeah, I was late.

The, erm

I've been f*cking waiting for you.

You're 40 minutes late!

Sorry about that. Yeah, the,

erm, the bus was stopped.

Then why didn't you call?

Uh, err My pho

Sorry, my phone got nicked.

Was it that skinny lad upstairs?

What? Was it that skinny lad

upstairs that nicked your phone?

No.

No, I've I've only just got here.

He's always nicking phones, he is.

Supposed to be no crime here.

I, erm, brought some biscuits.

Digestives?

Erm, no, they're an own brand.

They're kind of like Hobnobs.

Oh, f*cking Hobnobs.

You'll want a tea, then?

How many sugars? None.

Sorry about all the air fresheners.

No, that's fine.

He keeps cooking fish,

that skinny lad.

I think it's him, anyway.

Might be someone else,

I don't know.

Stinks.

Are you OK here?

I mean is there anyone helping you

since you got out?

Is there help?

What you on about?

Well, you get a probation officer,

but that's just to make sure

you're not up to shite.

There's no f*cking help.

Do you know where Basel is?

Yeah.

It's in Switzerland.

Switzerland. That's right, yeah.

I got a son out there.

Working there, he is.

He's got two kids.

And I was thinking of going out

and seeing him.

That sounds nice. Mm.

So, can you get a plane there?

What, to Basel? Mm. Yeah, sure.

How much would that be?

I don't know. Erm

Maybe a few hundred?

What about a train?

Can you get a train to Basel?

Think you might have to change.

How much would that cost?

I really don't know.

I mean, everything's online now.

Y'know, I been inside for 14 years,

I don't know how to do all this

f*cking

So you were my dad's pad-mate?

Aye.

Eight months I was, yeah.

Erm

..what was he like?

Your dad? Yeah.

What was your dad like?

Well, he was, er

He was all right.

Was he? Yeah.

Yeah, he was all right.

He was a He was a laugh.

MY dad?

My dad was a laugh?

Yeah, funny as f*ck, your dad.

Look, I did a good stretch with him.

Laughed my way through most of it.

Yeah, he was a good lad.

Share his last f*g, he would.

You know, and then they banned cigs

in prison and f*cking ruined it.

What's prison without a smoke?

I tell you what,

I'll never go back there now.

That just doesn't sound like the man

that I remember.

Yeah, well, I'm not f*cking

lying, you know. I'm not

I know

I bunked with him eight months.

Every day.

I know him better than you.

He was a good lad.

He had his moods, yeah,

but we was a good lad.

And he helped me

with reading letters from my son.

Other lads, they'd take the piss

if they read a soft word,

and then you'd be into something,

like. But not him. Not your dad.

He understood kindness. Did he?!

Yeah, he f*cking well did.

Look, you knew the man on the out,

right? But I knew the inside man.

The man who's always there.

The man who can't hide.

Well

..which do you think is more real?

I f*cking hate Hobnobs!

It's all them f*ck in it.

I don't like f*cking bits.

What's wrong

with a chocolate digestive?

Did he ever talk about my mum?

Yeah.

Every single day.

What-what was Was he still

angry with her, then, or?

He wasn't angry. He was in love.

Excuse me? He loved her.

Always going on about her, he was.

He said the greatest privilege

of his life

was to have held her in his arms.

Well, he'd say that

two or three times a week.

I mean, another man you'd get

f*cking chopsy with for that,

but not your dad.

You didn't mind like, cos

Cos he was a good'un.

My dad said those words?

He said

..she made him a better man

but that he wasn't good enough.

He wasn't angry with her.

He was too busy loving her.

All right.

I'm getting tired now.

Better go have my nap. I have to

have a nap in the afternoon.

Is there anything else?

Did he ever talk about me?

You're not the drug one, are ya?

No, son.

He never talked about you.

Hey, Dan!

What's going on?

What happened to that class?

Hey, yeah, erm, sorry.

I've been away.

Where, like a holiday, is it?

Thought I detected a bit of a tan.

I DID go abroad, yeah.

Lovely. Where'd you go?

Berlin. Berlin! I love Berlin.

You never been to Berlin.

Yes, I f*cking have.

I been there loads.

The drugs scene's crazy in Berlin.

You do the clubs, Dan?

You go to Berghain?

Tell me you went to Berghain.

Sorry, didn't go to Berghain.

The food, though? I mean, you got

yourself some currywurst, right?

Yeah, I ate a currywusrt.

The f*ck is a currywurst?

Berlin speciality.

Bratwurst covered in ketchup

and curry powder.

It's f*cking disgusting, to be

honest, but you got to do it, innit?

You go with your boyfriend, Dan?

No, this time I went alone.

OK, OK.

Listen, you got to get them classes

going, y'know, cos Keith,

he's rattling without them, y'know?

He's eating a dictionary a day,

yeah,

and just gunning us down

with words, fam.

So how you guys doing?

You know us, boss. We're just

k*lling time and chatting sh*t

and waiting for the out.

Come on. All right.

See you later, Dan.

Guten tag, boss.

Good to see you, boys.

See ya, Dan. All right.

Boyfriend? Mm.

They assumed I was g*y.

I let them.

So you're living

as a closeted heterosexual?

Smart.

You all right, then?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll just wait.

Good.

He won't be long.

Or he might be. Who f*cking knows?

I had to do what I had to

Yeah, I know.

I mean, I should never have put you

in that position, really.

Or Jamie.

It's me that should apologise,

not you.

I wasn't f*cking apologising.

Hey, how's Greg doing?

Who's Greg?

You know, Greg. The Skittles.

Oh, Greg. Oh, yeah. He's

He's gone.

He got release?

No. Suicide.

What?

Yeah. I think it was asphyxiation.

But to be honest,

it was two suicides ago, so

Are you serious?

He's dead?

The thing is, Dan,

they don't all make it out of here.

Come on.

You've elected not to have

a lawyer present. That's right.

Can I ask why?

There's no new information.

I told you the truth.

You know everything.

Why didn't you tell me

your father was a prisoner?

Well, I've not

I've not seen him in 20 years.

He's not a part of my life.

Isn't he?

Things like that

can have a long tail.

He's not a part of my life.

What is it you think

you've been doing here, Dan?

S What do I? Sorry, what?

What have you been achieving?

Erm

People

People sort of enjoy thinking.

Even those who we deem

not to be good at it.

Thinking is human.

My course lets them think for a bit.

It lets them feel human.

The reason I operate

a zero tolerance policy,

as regards staff and contraband,

isn't piety.

It's out of necessity.

In common with every facility

in this country,

my prison is rife with drugs,

violence and extortion.

The levers I have at my disposal

to stop staff exploiting

or being exploited are very few.

Prosecuting people like you

to the full extent of the law

is really the main one.

I do it because it works.

I understand.

So, in light of that

..I've decided not to prosecute.

Excuse me?

You didn't do what you did for gain,

that's clear.

So prosecution serves no purpose

other than to deprive the men

of something they seem to like.

You're right, they do like to think.

It DOES make them feel human.

It's better for me

to have humans in here.

Humans I can deal with.

So, what, I'm OK? I'm not going

to I'm not going to get

I'm lifting suspension,

effective immediately.

This is only one of a handful

of times in the last 15 years

I've given a second chance

for something like this.

There won't be a third.

Do you understand that?

Yes, I do.

Oh, f*ck me.

Oh, hey, hey!

Hey! Hey, what's wrong?

Hello. I'm all good, thanks.

Hey, hey! You OK? I'm OK. I'm OK.

I'm OK, thank you. Are you sure?

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. OK. Take a minute.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you so much. OK.

We all wander far from God

and lose our way.

Christ comes to find us

and welcomes us home.

In baptism we respond to his call.

Therefore I ask,

do you turn away from sin?

I do. I do.

Do you reject evil?

I do. I do.

Do you turn to Christ the Saviour?

I do. I do.

FRANK: One minute Ready?!

Oh, Frank's gone retro.

Wind it. Blinding!

Lovely. Say, "Uncle Frank!"

Thanks.

He looked good with that baby

in his arms, didn't he, Gail?

I'm just saying is all!

He did look good, though.

Well, you know what they say, Laura.

One grandchild is plenty.

But two's even better.

No-one says that.

Or three. Or four. Or five!

Here, pack it in, you.

You did look good with that baby,

though. Yeah, all right, Mum.

Last time we was here

was for Martin's funeral.

It's nice to be back like this.

Oh, and I hear

you're a baker now.

Sourdough. Martin'd be proud.

Sorry about what I said about

..the last time that we, er

You never need to say sorry, Danny.

Not to a parent.

We're bolted on.

I took drugs.

Oh, my God, why are you telling me

that, Danny? I'm your bloody mum!

You told me to! Yeah, well,

I didn't think you were going to

come and tell me all about it.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Danny!

What drugs did you do, then?

Actually, don't tell me.

I don't want to know.

Oh, go on, then, what did you do?

Sorry, it was just

It was recreational.

It wasn't

It wasn't anything, y'know.

Are you going to do it again?

I mean, do I need to worry?

No, look, Mum, I just I just

went out and did normal things.

I thought you'd want to know

that I was being normal. Uh, oh

Oh, this is you being normal? You

take drugs and then very normally

come and tell your mum all about it?

At a christening.

Just like normal people do.

All right, Mum

I'm pleased you're being normal!

He always was proud of you.

Martin.

He was proud of you

every single day.

Just like we all are.

LAUGHTER

So, after a few minutes of this,

I stop, I turn round and I go,

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry, sir,

I didn't know you were there.

"I couldn't hear you over the sound

of all that f*cking honking."

LAUGHTER

Is that what you said?

Oh, my God, what did he do?

Well, he loses it, he bangs his foot

on the accelerator,

goes all the way round the outside

of the car park to get round me.

So I thought, "All right." So I just

slipped on up and blocked the exit.

You didn't.

Big line of f*cking trollies!

LAUGHTER

He gets round and there's me,

kneeling, doing me shoelace up.

Next thing I know, he's nudging

right up to my trollies.

He starts shunting 'em.

No! What, with his Tesla?

With his f*cking Tesla!

Oh, my God! What did you do, Frank?

Well, I just stood there watching,

Dan.

Massive scraping sound of metal,

there is.

And, finally, I step in and I say,

"Excuse me, sir,

I would not advise you to do that."

And he said, "I don't take

advice from the likes of you!"

And I say,

"I would if I were you, sir,

"cos you're ripping

your f*cking bumper off!"

He's ripped it right off, Dan! God!

Hey, next thing I know,

there's a copper there.

What? Why?

Don't know! No idea.

Someone must've phoned 'em.

Tesla's ecstatic.

He's straight with, "This man

has kidnapped me," he said to him.

Oh, come on, kidnapped?

Hand on heart, kidnapped, he says!

Well, this copper, he takes one look

at me, he comes over, and says,

"All right, Frank, how you doing?"

He's only one of the bunch

that nicked me and Vinny

last time we got done! Oh, no!

Oh, sh*t, Frank.

No, no, no! They loved us.

When they nicked me and Vinny,

they was as good as gold.

Most of these only get to

deal with junkies,

but we was proper criminals.

They had a board up with pins

and string.

All our crimes on, Mum!

She's so proud!

And he's all like,

"Good to see you, Frank.

"You're looking so well.

Oh, you put a bit of weight on.

"Glad to see you're back on your

feet. You keep your nose clean."

Then he turns to

Elon f*cking Musk

..nicks him for criminal damage

and threatening behaviour!

See ya. Bye, buddy.

Right, Mum's pissed, ain't she?

Yeah.

All right. See ya.

Here, last minute cuddles.

Whey Can I?

Oh!

Goodbye.

Where you off to tonight, then?

Erm, I'm going to go home,

get ready.

Ah, I've got a date

Well it's not a date, erm

I'm meeting Natasha.

Yeah? Yeah.

It's not a date.

We're just going to get a coffee.

Still, that IS something.

Yeah. Yeah, it is something.

Isn't it?

Thanks for asking me, Lee.

It's a great honour.

You soppy twat.

Come on. Bye.

Nooo I got him.

I gotcha.

All right. Let go of it, Dan.

Let go of what?

The guilt.

Do you know why dad walked out

on us? The actual reason?

Cos he's a f*cking idiot.

That's all.

It's no deeper than that.

You look at this boy and you tell me

it's any deeper than that.

Get out! Ta-ra.

Off.

Off, off, off, off, off, off.

Off, off, off, off.

Goodbye and good f*ck.