D(e)ad (2025)

[bunniefuu]

I don't wanna play soccer.

Let's go get ice cream

and lotto tickets.

First of all,

don't ever let your mother

hear the phrase

"lotto tickets," okay?

And second of all, no, we can't.

You can't, you ca--

you can't leave

your team behind.

They're counting on you.

Do you know

that goalie is probably

the most powerful

position on the field?

I mean, it's just

as important to save a goal

as it is to score one.

-They need you.

-Really?

Are you kidding me?

You know

that box around the goal?

That's your domain.

That is your kingdom.

And if one of these

little pasty b*tches

get inside that goal box,

I want you to roar so loud

that you just

scare the sh*t out of them.

Wha--

Oh, you think I'm kidding?

I'm serious. Hey.

Inside that box,

no one can f*ck with you.

Now let's hear you roar.

Come on.

I'm sorry, did I stutter?

Let me hear you roar!

Oh! Oh, whoa!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

That was terrifying.

I didn't expect that.

Oh, boy. You scared me.

I think I saw a ghost

or something. Come on.

Yeah, but ghosts aren't real.

Hey, ghosts

are extremely real, baby.

- What? Really?

- Oh, yeah.

There's far too much

paranormal phenomenon not to.

And it relates

to a larger cosmology.

But there's a lot

of psychic residue.

Powerful emotion

and unfinished business.

Then again, the hell do I know?

You know everything.

I know everything

about one thing.

I'm not going

anywhere anytime soon.

You got me.

-Always.

-Always?

Forever.

You and me.

He won't get off my back

He won't get off my

Doesn't see the hammer

Nail his own hand down

I am not the woman

That you think I am

Oh, I swallow up a mountain

And I'm quiet as a clam

Saturday and Sunday

In the poison air

Oh, and every day I work

I help to put

The poison there

-Oh

-He won't get off my back

He won't get off my back

He won't get off my back...

He won't get off my back

He won't get off...

Hi.

Yes, this is Matilda Grover.

Um, I'm calling

because my father, Daniel,

helped me make this,

uh, teen debit account

when I was a minor,

which I still am.

A proud teen

debit account holder.

And, uh, I would like to have

him removed from the account...

...for personal reasons.

Uh, but I can just tell you.

Um, he's a charlatan.

Yeah.

Uh, um, grifter.

Uh...

...stole a bunch

of money from my mom.

Um...

If you have a drop down,

you can put "dead to me."

But my mom, Francesca,

uh, should definitely

stay on the account

because she puts money in it.

Um, I love my mommy.

Hello?

I saw the cutest guy

in my AA meeting,

and I was gonna

set you up with him,

-but--

-You gotta stop that.

- I know.

But you know what?

- Shh.

It's okay because he died.

So...

it's, like, problem solved.

No, no, no, no, no!

Don't start it yet.

Violet's coming.

She's gonna freak out.

I don't think she's gonna mind.

- She's been

a lot more chill recently.

-Is that true?

-I'm losing my f*cking mind.

Dad is dying of cancer,

and nobody gives a sh*t

except for me, so...

-Hi.

-What?

Pausing the show.

I'm gonna go,

uh, check on the, uh...

-Cool.

-He called several times

when I was in court,

trying to keep a homeless kid

out of the foster care system.

And, I'm sorry,

what were you doing,

babysitting some

rich lady's cats?

-They're dogs.

-Right.

That's it.

Ex-husband, father dying,

and nobody cares.

I obviously care.

I just don't know

what I'm supposed to do.

-Cure cancer?

-You could try.

You could,

or you could muster up

any kind of compassion

for a loved one.

Or are you too busy raising

generationally wealthy dogs?

Oh, my God, I don't have to have

compassion for him anymore.

That's why people get divorced.

Yeah, Mom, I'm obviously

not talking about you.

-I'm talking about...

-Me.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, she's talking about me

because I did what

everyone told us both to do

and I stopped

talking to our addict dad,

who, by the way,

had a g*n collection.

Secret g*n collection.

A secret g*n collection.

Six g*ns is not a collection.

A secret six-g*n collection.

So, I'm finding it

a little hard to know what to do

-when you tell me he has cancer.

-Well, you know

what I found hard?

Trying to pass the bar exam

while Dad was living

in my front yard in his car.

I sent your grandpa over there

to tell him to leave

-and he was gone already.

-Yeah, not voluntarily.

They towed his car

because there weren't

enough wheels to put boots on.

I can't believe he figured out

how to drive that car.

-Insane.

-Did you see the tumor?

You're kidding.

Are we sure

there's an actual literal tumor?

Doctors should show you proof.

Yeah, because he also told me

that he knew Quentin Tarantino,

and I never saw him.

I am the only one

that cares about him.

I'm the only one

that's there for him.

-You hear yourself, right?

-I do. I have perfect hearing.

Violet, the man is a dangerous,

destructive alcoholic,

and my Al-Anon sponsor says that

you need to at least

let us detach with love.

Don't say "love."

Don't say "detach with love."

He's not dangerous.

He cried more than you did

when your hamster died.

Because you had

just gone to college,

he named it Violet,

and then it ran away.

It was spelled differently,

and you know that.

Please don't fight. It makes me

feel like I'm a bad mom.

-You're not a bad mom.

-You're not a bad mom.

Dad is a human being, okay?

And he raised you

while Mom was working. Sorry.

He deserves your compassion.

Not from me.

I don't have it for him.

- He called me a c**t

when I was 11 years old.

You were a c**t

when you were 11 years old.

Grandma calls me

a c**t all the time

and I still see her.

Doesn't count from her

because it's a term

of endearment.

You don't get to say it's a term

of endearment from her.

You don't get to say that.

You don't get to decide

whether or not

- it's a term of endearment.

- From Grandma?

- Yeah.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just to clarify,

I worked because he did not.

And these are important

feelings for me to have,

which is why

I am gonna excuse myself

and go write in my journal.

Oy vey.

She's just gonna leave.

That's what she's gonna do.

Journal store is gonna have

to put up a wing in her honor.

-Move.

-I have to move.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

Oh, my God,

I wish I could have been there

when she got arrested.

You really should see him.

You'll regret it if you don't.

He's not gonna die.

- Okay.

- No.

- I can feel you leaving.

- I know. I got a date. Look.

-You go on so many dates.

-Hold on. I go on so many dates.

-Look. I know.

-Wow. He's very attractive.

Well, it's like his hair's

a little bit swoopier here,

but it's spot-on boy band.

- What are we doing?

- Look.

-Oh, wow.

-I feel like he needs water.

That's a lot of tattoos.

- What do you mean?

-He looks thirsty.

-Okay, stop. This is-- Right.

-That's an expense.

-No, I don't need

the input, actually.

So, thank you. Thank you.

This was fun, guys.

Seriously, what a good hang.

I love this. Um...

Yeah, let's do this again

after I have a lobotomy.

Something I said?

You want to

watch Housewives, Carl?

Uh, no. But I love you both.

- Love you.

- -I think you would really like it.

Uh, I don't know about that.

My God.

Oh, well, now she's too thin.

- I heard she is on...

- Ozempic.

And so

I tried to get it for myself,

- you know,

but the doctor on the website...

...said that

I don't weigh enough,

so I lied and told him

I weigh more than I do,

and then he didn't believe me,

so I can't get it.

What?

I hope she uses

protection with that tattoo guy.

Oh, my God!

-I love having sex

without a condom!

-Yeah! Me too!

- See, we have

so much in common already.

If I haven't gotten

pregnant yet, I can't!

Don't worry. Every time

I try to donate sperm,

they say, "Never mind."

- Okay, just shut up

and lean back.

-Hey, have you seen Dad?

-sh*t!

I haven't gotten around to it.

Well, I can't find him.

Start calling hospitals.

Just any hospital?

I know that you don't

want to deal with this,

but I'm scared

that Mark is going to

figure out I'm pregnant.

Figure out?

Didn't your co-worker

congratulate you yesterday?

Yes, and I threatened

to sue her for fat-shaming.

Wow. Uh, you crossed

your legs the other day,

and I'm pretty sure

I saw the head.

Our dad is missing.

Have you even seen him

since he got sick?

For your information,

I've been busy.

-With what?

-I'm walking

up and down the hill,

wearing Julianne's Fitbit

so that I can get her steps in

because she's trying

to lose weight.

Uh, doesn't it sound insane

to you that Dad is missing?

-This sort of happens

all the time.

-Maybe,

but it sounds more insane not

looking for our missing father.

Yes!

Yes, you agree?

Oh. No. Sorry, I just, um,

I just completed

one of Julianne's rings.

She's gonna look

really great at the Emmys.

I am so glad we have

our priorities straight.

So...

Okay, I found him.

How did you do that so fast?

So, the short version

is that the tumors

are eating him alive.

What was the long version?

Uh, the tumors

are eating him alive.

Would you like to see

images of the tumors?

-No.

-Okay.

- Sometimes people want proof.

- -Is there any treatment that could work?

Chances are slim.

Uh, again, I can show you

the X-rays of all these tumors.

-Please stop.

-Okay. Well,

your father's inside.

Dr. Blair, Dr, Blair...

You coming?

No, I... I am. Uh...

Yeah, I am. I'm just, uh,

I'm gonna call Mom,

let her know what's happening.

Yeah. Okay.

Hi...

...rabbit.

Hi, Daddy.

I love you so much.

-I love you too.

-Yeah.

Hey. Don't worry.

I have no intention of kicking

the bucket anytime soon.

I know.

I know. I know.

Is Tillie coming?

Um...

She's gonna be here any second.

Can you, can you put

SpongeBob on?

We used to...

watch that together,

me and Tillie.

- Oh, yeah.

- Hm.

-I love you.

-I know.

I know. I love you.

And so does Tillie.

You love her too, right?

I don't know.

Dad.

- Hey, Violet,

steal the TV for me.

Dad, come on.

Tillie says her father

is being eaten alive by tumors.

It's giving the tumors

an awful lot of agency.

It sounds like he's dying.

I don't wanna go,

but I feel like the good moms

are with their daughters

when their fathers are dying.

My mom was with me

when my dad died.

And she was a good mom.

Just look at me.

- Sweetie?

- Oh, hey.

-Hey, Mom.

-Hey.

Thank you for coming.

Oh, no. It's okay.

Um, is Tillie here?

- Um, she is...

- somewhere.

- Yeah, I think

she heard Dad say that

he doesn't know if he loves her.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

- I don't know.

- Hm.

Um, well, remember,

uh, his brain is not

in the best shape at the moment.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I--

Hey, listen, um,

do you wanna see his tumors?

There is a doctor

that will be your best friend,

if you want to look at them.

I mean, I kind of do.

- I, I don't care.

- I'm just kidding.

Okay.

-Okay.

-Come on.

Hey.

-Okay.

-No, it's okay to not be okay.

No, really, I'm good now.

I'll, uh, look for Tillie

in a second.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

- I've never been

to a puppet show...

-...in Santa Monica. When?

-Yes, you have!

And we smelled poop,

and we didn't realize

-it was on our shoes.

-I would--

- When-- How old was I?

- We were, like--

well, you were, like,

four or something.

I feel like I would remember

if we went to a puppet show

- and there was poop

on my shoe though.

- We were--

Oh, my God.

- Daniel?

- Hey.

-Daniel?

-Dad.

-Daniel?

-Hey.

Hey. No, no, no.

-No.

-Dad, no, no, no.

Tillie!

Tillie!

Dad?

- It's okay.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

I'll take care of the girls.

I swear, everybody will be okay.

I'll make sure

that they're okay.

I know we had problems,

but you loved them so much...

-Is he gone?

-...and there was a time

when I loved you

very much in spite of...

Sweetheart. Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come here.

He's, like, dead to me.

Like a ghost...

- of a person.

- Like a ghost.

Like a ghost...

Oh.

I mean, missing those

last moments with her dad

after cutting him

out of her life for so long.

Well, procrastination

is a hell of a drug.

Okay, I'm at the store

looking at ice cream.

They're all out of

Halo Top Sea Salt Caramel.

-What's your next choice?

-You know what? f*ck Halo Top.

I watched someone die tonight,

so I deserve the real sh*t.

You got it.

I know that Tillie's decision

was really complicated.

It's just--

I hope that this whole thing

doesn't wind up haunting her

for the rest of her life.

Hey, Frankie, we gotta talk.

What just happened?

-What's going on?

-Where'd you go?

Where the f*ck--

-Where did--

How did you do that?

-I can get it all.

What do you want?

You want me to go to Gelson's?

-Are you okay?

-Uh, everything's normal.

-I'll call you back.

-What do you mean,

everything's normal?

Oh, my God.

Uh, okay. Deep breaths.

-I am hallucinating.

-No, you're not.

Uh, okay, then,

I'm having a stroke?

-You're not having a stroke.

You smell burnt toast?

-You knew I don't eat bread.

Look, you know what?

I've been looking

for you for hours.

Something really strange

is going on here.

Strange? Really?

Because I am talking to my dead

ex-husband in a mirror.

Let's just calm down.

We don't know that I'm dead.

I watched you die!

-Oh, so now you're a doctor.

-You know what?

You have always diminished

my f*cking accomplishments!

-You're literally not a doctor!

-I could have

been a doctor

if it wasn't for you!

I'm seeing things,

I'm seeing things.

I'm seeing crazy things.

I had a crazy day,

and now I'm going crazy.

I'm seeing things,

I'm seeing...

- Whoa! f*ck!

- Don't panic.

f*ck you! f*ck you!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I gotta call my sponsor,

call my shrink.

I don't know

what to think. I don't--

No, if I call my sponsor,

he'll think I'm f*cking crazy.

Now, what the f*cking--

Oh, my God.

Hey, if you're another ghost,

I may be Jewish,

but I am very clear

on the true meaning

of Christmas.

- Thank you.

- I'm coming in!

Ghosts can come in now?

I didn't say you were

the first person to see me.

Oh, my God.

He's in your mirror too?

This is real.

Do you see a light

at the end of a tunnel?

-Go towards it.

-Don't say, "Go towards it."

Don't go towards it.

That's how they get you.

There's no light.

No, I seem to be in some

strange, uh, liminal space.

Hard to describe,

but, uh...

well, seems to have

something to do with mirrors.

Of course

I tried to explain this

to Stephen Hawking

back in the '80s.

You never met Stephen Hawking.

Don't lie from the afterlife.

There could be repercussions.

Stephen Hawking could be

standing behind you.

He could punch you in the head.

-I'm not dead.

-Oh.

You'll never be

dead to me, Daddy.

I'm really not dead.

Okay, let's you and me go to

the thankfully mirrorless deck

so that we can call Tillie.

Hello?

Hi, sweetie. Were you asleep?

Did you take

that pill I gave you?

Yeah.

I don't think it worked.

Sweetie, can you

go to the mirror

and tell me what you see?

Like you're my Sarah Lawrence

acting coach?

Just do it. Just do it.

Okay.

Getting up.

Getting up. Walking.

Here. I'm here.

Do you see anything?

If this is another

body positivity thing,

it didn't really work.

Last time.

You don't see anyone else?

Mm, no, but you're starting

to scare the sh*t out of me,

so that's good.

Okay, listen. Um, I, I,

I need you to come over.

- Your sister and I

have to talk to you.

-Now?

-Yes. Right now!

-You have clothes.

-I know.

I know, it's like,

-it's like the end

of our town...

-Do you feel

-like you have cancer?

-...but if our town

-were a one-man show.

-But you never owned

that blazer is my point.

You know what I mean?

-I have that blazer.

-I don't think he did.

- Hey!

- Whoa!

We're seeing your father.

-At the morgue?

-In the mirror.

-Yeah, he's in

the mirror, your father.

-He's in the mirror.

Bring her over to the mirror

so she can see me.

-You got to go to the mirror.

-Come here.

-In the mirror. Like, mirror.

-The man is in the mirror.

- Dad is in the mirror.

Yeah, he's in the mirror.

It's like a miracle.

Why can't you see me?

She can't see me.

I don't know. You're not

even a predictable ghost.

Hey, mudgy, it's me. It's Daddy.

Have her turn.

She can't-- Swee...

Hey, thanks for visiting me

all those times. I really...

Can you hear what he's saying?

Yeah, can you hear

what he's saying?

Can you hear what you're saying?

Oh, God,

we have to convince her.

-Now I feel bad for priests,

'cause this is hard.

-I know. I know.

-Hard to have proof.

-Oh, oh. You know what?

I have it, I have it,

I have it, I have it, I have it.

Oh, Daniel, what is something

that you know about Tillie

-that neither me

nor Violet know?

-Okay, that's smart.

-That's genius.

-Right? Thank you.

Is this, like, some mean

and very convoluted way

of getting me to admit

to stealing Grandma's cigarettes

in middle school?

-Because I didn't do it.

-Hm.

How would I know

what she told you?

- You banished me

from the family.

You never told Tillie a secret?

Oh, my God,

you stole from my purse

to buy Dippin' Dots

for your father

-when he took you to the track?

-Matilda!

Oh, my God.

I've never told anyone that

because I genuinely forgot.

It's working.

Dad?

Do your thing.

I don't-- I can't see him.

-Am I doing something wrong?

-Maybe.

No, don't say that.

- No?

- No, no, no, no, sweetheart.

No, no, don't feel bad.

Because, um,

we don't know what kind of

supernatural mishegoss

is going on.

I mean, I, I was married to him,

and, uh, Violet

is the eldest daughter, so...

-Yeah.

-Um, maybe it's like

a Passover thing.

Passover thing.

Oh, or maybe, um,

I knew him longer

before he relapsed.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it, it was--

Just might be a very, very tight

circle on this one.

Where is he?

-Oh, Jesus.

-It's like...

-Don't answer it.

-I have to.

-You don't have to.

-It's Mom.

-Okay.

-Uh, hey, Mom.

Not a good time right now.

Oh, I won't keep you long.

Uh, Grandpa and I,

uh, seem to be

having a nervous break.

He wants to go

to a mental institution,

and I am not that worried.

What are you talking about?

We're seeing your deadbeat

dead husband in every mirror.

Oh, my God, my whole family

is being haunted without me.

Oh. They're seeing him too.

Hello? Where's everybody?

Ah. I got, like,

way too much ice cream.

I know, but it's a big night.

We got a lot of candles.

What are we doing,

just looking at ourselves

in the mirror?

-Here's Danny!

-Whoa!

God! Jesus!

f*ck! It's okay.

Everybody, come out!

Come with me! Come on!

Oh! Damn it!

Okay, the mirrors are covered.

Let's talk ghosts.

What? No.

I want to know why Carl...

...has not

proposed to Frankie yet.

- Oh, no, no, no, no.

You can't do me like that.

- No, Mom, no.

- This is not what that is about.

- This is this?

This is this now?

- We're doing this now?

- -We're here to talk about ghosts.

-Ghosts.

-Spot on, Grandma.

- Shut up!

- That-- Yeah.

-Okay!

-That is why we're here.

-Ghosts.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Anyone who can see Daniel,

- raise your hand.

- Yeah.

Cool.

Ghosts are real,

and my whole family

is going crazy without me.

It's not fair. But if it helps,

I really, really hate

that I can see him.

And I really, really hate

that he can see me.

You? I looked

into having him k*lled.

-"k*lled"?

-Well, casually.

I asked my jeweler

if he knew someone.

Jewelers know people.

Jewelers know people.

Why can't I see him?

Hm. I don't think

this is about you.

-Actually, now

that I think about it...

-Oh, you're right.

-...I think maybe

it's not about you.

-It's about their jeweler.

Hey, if it

makes you feel better,

you can have mine.

-It's not what

it's cracked up to be.

-Thank you, Carl.

That's really generous of you.

See? Some people are sort of

offering their ghosts.

Okay, I think

everybody should be

-a little bit more generous--

-Hey, guys.

Guys. Hey, guys!

-...as opposed to...

-Well, I'm talking...

-...being a huge b*tch.

-...so announcement

from me. And be quiet.

Now, um,

thank you so much, everybody.

Um, so I was talking

with Dad privately,

and he doesn't exactly

know what's happening,

but he thinks...

- ...he might not be dead.

- Mm-hm.

What does he think he is?

-What?

-Whoa! Whoa!

You know what?

I can't with this f*cking guy!

- All right, look.

- Where's the f*cking ice cream?

It could be true,

it could not be true.

And whether

he's correct or not, I think

we should cover our bases

by, A, protecting

his body from erosion.

I don't know when that starts.

And, B, going to his apartment

and getting all of his photos,

-which we have to do anyway.

-That might be

what's keeping him here...

and nobody wants that.

- I mean...

condolences.

- Thank you.

What were his last wishes?

Maybe he's already

been cremated.

He didn't have last wishes

because he ate

a specific brand

of cookie every day

that he thought would

make him live forever.

No, no, no, you idiot. No.

It wasn't a specific brand

of cookie that he thought

was gonna make him

live forever. He thought

that if he ate it long enough,

medical science

-would catch up and intervene.

-Oh, right.

- The guy was a putz.

- It's different.

-I'm the idiot in that scenario.

-You are the idiot.

-That's what I said.

-Why don't we

-donate his body to science?

-Did I not say that?

Is that real?

Sure. The one person

that can't see him

is guessing his last wishes.

That seems right.

-Oh, my God!

-I think that makes sense.

-No, I think it makes sense.

I love that.

-You're such a d*ck!

-You're a d*ck!

-You loved BodyWorks.

-You don't know that.

We went one time...

-And that's that.

-Okay! Whoa!

-Mom.

Hold on. I know

someone we can talk to.

-A therapist?

-No, but a very

intuitive person.

- Better not be Barry.

- It's Barry.

- Ugh.

- Mm-hm.

-Great.

-She's obsessed with Barry.

- Um, okay, I am gonna go

ahead and call the hospital...

- Who's Barry?

...about Dad's body.

Unless Barry can, um,

come and do this for us. So...

Excuse me.

Is this a sign?

I don't generally

believe in signs,

but I also

didn't believe in ghosts

-until tonight.

-A sign for what, sweetie?

That I shouldn't have

listened to everybody

and cut off contact with him

because now I'm being punished

by him denying me his presence.

Why can't he punish me?

I mean, I, I don't get it.

Do you want

to be haunted by him?

I just don't understand

why I can't see him.

And I don't wanna

be going crazy over this,

but it's pissing me off

that my whole family

is being haunted

by my dad without me.

Maybe he had unfinished business

with all of you.

Unfinished business?

The man never worked

a day in his life.

Yes. Yeah, he did.

He was a taxi driver,

and he made all those lamps,

and he helped Uncle Herbie

fix his computer all

of those times, and he was

a government contractor.

He was kicked by a police horse,

and the government paid him off.

That is not called employment.

- Right. Okay.

- The horse was really

provocative, though.

Thank you so much.

Appreciate it.

Okay, so that was the hospital,

and they said we can

move him to any mortuary.

We just have to call,

or we can donate his body

to something

called Science Care.

Till, they're not open

right now, and I work

during business hours,

and I am eight

f*cking months pregnant,

so I'm gonna need you

-to call and get

our dad's body back.

-Mm.

Me?

No, I can't.

Julianne is having

a really hard time

with the company

that delivers her soup.

She likes puree,

and they keep sending chunky,

and it's destroying her.

Is that a yes?

Sure.

Yeah. You know what?

I will go collect

the body of the man

who can't even be

bothered to haunt me.

This putz's in my mirror.

Daniel, talk to your daughter.

You can't even ghost right.

I swear, after I die,

I'm coming back

and I'm haunting

every single one of you.

Thank you, Grandpa.

-Thank you.

-No, no. It's okay.

Okay. Choking!

-Oh!

-Thank you.

Hi. Is this Tile Grover?

"Tile"? Do you think

there's a person named Tile?

Uh, whoever filled out

the intake form put "Tile."

It's Tillie. Matilda.

Who are you?

- Hi, Miss Grover.

This is Owen from Science Care.

Oh. Yeah.

Hi. I've been calling you.

Uh, you have to get

my dad's body from the hospital,

and there's a lady there

who's, um, very mad at me,

as if I'm supposed

to go get it or something.

Well, I'd love to get

that taken care of for you.

We just need a little bit

of additional information.

-Okay.

-Uh, we'll need

an affidavit stating that

there are no remaining

conflicts with the estate.

What does that mean?

Uh, just that

affairs are settled

and all fine with the estate.

"Estate"? He lived

in Section 8 housing.

Got it.

Uh, well, still, you know,

-just to, to, to kind of...

-So, uh,

you want me

to go to my dad's place

and rummage through the trash

to confirm that it is trash?

Sadly, yes. And we will

also need it notarized.

Come on!

- I, I, I, I am so sorry,

Miss Grover.

That is so profoundly difficult.

And I do understand,

you know, even past being

your account representative,

I'm a man. Human. Man.

I, I understand emotions,

and I feel them.

And, and I'm a--

And I-- As a, a human,

member of the human species

with you.

Yeah, well, keep saying it,

because it gets more convincing

every time you do.

I wish

I could help, you know.

And, and if you need

someone to be here

while you

process those feelings...

I just can't

get rid of this guy.

He dies, and then

I have even more work to do

than from when he was alive.

And it's like I can't get away,

and my sister

is bearing down on me.

And I can't even see my dad.

Right. Because he's passed.

What you said.

It's not like he's a ghost.

But if he was...

...and my sister

and Mom could see him,

but I couldn't...

...what would you

suggest that I do?

Since you work for science.

Well, I work for Science Care,

not just, sort of,

the concept of science.

But I would say, you know,

in this extremely specific

and obviously

impossible scenario,

that sister and mother

are very close,

intimate relationships

with a lot of baggage.

And it might behoove you

to find a more neutral mediator,

maybe someone a little

even-keeled and impartial

to help

reestablish that connection.

That's what I would do.

Like a Science Care guy.

No.

No, not me. It can't be.

Um, uh, you know, I would say,

though, that I am,

I am here for you.

You know, feel free to call me.

I, I'm, I'm assigned

to your case.

Uh, and once again,

my name is Owen.

And, uh, I'll be here.

Thanks, Owen. You're a real one.

If you say so.

Uh, there is a short survey

after we get off

the call together

that I would love-- Hello?

She hung up.

You and Dad

always got along so well,

and the case manager

at Science Care

says that

we could use a mediator,

which I don't think is his job.

I think he gives

Dad's body parts

to medical students.

But you love to mediate,

so maybe you can

help us connect.

I do love to mediate.

Okay, Renee. Mediate away.

When was the last time

when you and I just hung out?

Um,

yeah, I don't know, Grandma.

That's really sweet, but Violet

-is really riding my a*s...

-Didn't mean it

-when I said I didn't know...

-...about this whole

-ghost thing.

-...whether I loved her or not.

Can't you just talk

to each other?

-No. That's literally...

-No. See,

-that's what I'm saying.

-...the whole problem.

Please let me handle this.

I am the mediator.

Daniel, Tillie wants

to talk to you.

Now, see...

I can hear and see her.

She can't hear and see me!

I am not deaf or foreign!

Will you please tell Tillie...

-...that I'm so--

-Are you still

talking to this as*h*le?

-Yes.

-Will you shut

the f*ck up for five...

Don't even

f*cking think about it.

You're dead. I'm not.

So suck on that.

I'm obviously astral traveling,

or a bodhisattva,

or on some higher

level of consciousness.

You are not on a higher plane.

You're stuck here

because you, in life,

were a deadbeat.

You stole from your wife!

- You abandon your daughters,

you lie to everybody.

No wonder your kids

didn't want to talk to you

when you got sick.

Hm.

Tillie forgot the leftovers!

Mom?

-Mom in here?

-No.

-Oh!

-Everyone's a critic.

-That's amazing.

-Thank you.

I figured

since you can't see him...

Voil.

That's for me?

It's not for me.

Awesome.

Yeah, 'cause I, I tore him

out of all my pictures.

So a giant painting is perfect.

Sweetheart-- Oh, Jesus!

"Not my favorite."

Oh, God. Oh, I'm so sorry.

-It's okay.

-Oh, Mom.

Uh, I talked

to the Science Care guy.

They can get the body of the man

who doesn't know he loves me.

So call the psychic rabbi.

I have to go.

-Oh. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

-Bye. Have a great day.

-It really is fantastic. It's...

-Thank you.

...it's frightening.

Does she-- Do you want this?

Or is it-- Is this for me?

How do we feel about some horns?

Why can't I

get you out of my life?

Well, this normally comes

at the end of the story,

but you still love me.

You need to make

things right with Tillie

so the demons can come

and suck you away

like the bad guy in Ghost.

The guy with no eyebrows.

The guy, uh, the guy whose

father was a famous producer.

The guy who played

the president in Scandal.

You need to call

that psychic rabbi

so he can get to the bottom

of this astral projection thing,

or whatever the hell it is,

and then I'll come back

and I'll straighten

things out with Tillie.

I cannot tell somebody

that my dead ex-husband

doesn't think he's dead,

because that,

that's going to make me

look like a f*cking idiot.

Yeah, we can't

have that, can we?

Oh, my God. You know what?

You denied having

going into my bank account

and stealing money from me

to buy a bunch of g*ns.

I wanted to be

the only liberal with g*ns.

You denied being drunk

when I dragged you to the car

and showed you

all of the empty beer cans.

Since losing my corporeal form,

I've really sobered up.

And now

you're denying having died.

Congratulations.

You win a denial.

And you believe in ghosts.

So what the hell do you know?

I know that you said

you didn't love Tillie.

I did not say that

I don't love Tillie.

I said that I didn't know

if I loved Tillie

because my brain

was filled with tumors

or so they say.

You know, I happen

to be going through

a very hard time right now.

You know, that is just like you,

to conveniently have tumors

to blame your bad behavior on.

All I know is that

Tillie cannot go through

the rest of her life

thinking that

her father doesn't love her,

and you know that.

That would be bad.

All right.

All right.

I'll take care of that.

I'm on it. But you have

to call that rabbi.

Unless you want

your husband in the mirror

for the rest of your life,

telling you how you really look

in those jeans.

Oh, my God. f*ck you.

- I'm so going to f*ck you.

f*ck you.

Hello.

You've reached Rabbi Barry.

Shalom!

To schedule a bris, press one.

To schedule a bar

or bat mitzvah, press two.

To schedule a psychic clearing,

press three.

Sure. Three.

Hello, this is Owen from Science Care.

How can I help you?

Hi, Owen from Science Care.

This is Matilda Grover

calling to check

on Daniel Grover's body.

- Hi, Miss Grover. So, yeah,

we received all the paperwork.

We can release

those ashes to you right away.

Ashes?

Yeah, that's what we, uh--

That was what was

listed at the hospital.

Is that a problem?

No.

I just didn't realize

you were going to burn 'em.

And now I don't really know

how that's gonna affect

the metaphysical aspect

of all of this.

What?

I have no idea why

I'm inclined to ask you this,

but what do you think

happens when we die?

Uh... Wow. Well, you know,

any number of things.

- Our website actually

lists a bunch of the options.

We have cremation, air burial.

Not to our bodies.

To our spirits.

Oh. I'm afraid

I don't know, Miss Grover.

This family member...

...he can't see me.

-Not the real you, right?

-Sure.

When he was in the hospital,

I couldn't look at him.

And I tore him

out of all my photos, so...

...it's like there's no proof

that he was ever even my dad.

Got it.

I'm so sorry.

Now I'm just sort of worried.

What if

I'm his unfinished business

and this is all my fault?

Forgive the forwardness,

but is it maybe

just as possible

that he is

your unfinished business?

Wait. What's air burial?

Air burial is a cultural custom

where a body is left

on a high altitude surface

to be picked clean by birds.

He would have loved that.

Why won't you come talk to me?

Why can't you come haunt me?

You're so broken.

And I'd do anything

to talk to you.

To be sweet to you

instead of chastise you.

I'd spend all the money

in the world for you.

I'd run the family dry...

...to make you feel

like you got the respect

you thought you deserved.

I'd learn everything

there is to know

about metaphysics for you.

I'd cure cancer.

None of it would've mattered...

...or changed

anything that happened,

but I'd do it now.

Dad?

Dad!

Look at how you lived!

I'm doing it!

I'm facing

my unfinished business!

I'm not hiding

in the hallway anymore!

I did the right thing...

...cutting you out of my life.

'Cause this is what you do.

You hurt people

because you only

ever cared about yourself.

I'm glad I can't see you.

I'm glad

you're out of my life...

...forever.

Daddy, I am so sorry

about the cremation.

Hey, don't worry

about the ashes.

I'm sure that whatever power

allows me to manifest

can also reconstitute

a human body.

-It's just molecules.

-Yeah.

Yay.

Yay. Okay?

So...

...uh, before the sance begins,

uh, I was thinking

maybe you could

walk to the drugstore,

I could look through the glass

and the lotto machine...

...find the winning numbers.

You could buy a ticket.

Bing, bang, boom,

we've got enough money,

bring me back into this plane.

I could pay off

my student loan debt.

-Hm? Sure. Sure.

-Yeah.

Keep your eye-- eyes

on the prize, though, rabbit.

Right. I do technically

think that might

constitute as fraud,

and I don't know

if we want to use

your ghost powers for evil.

Uh, not a ghost, sweetie.

Well, you might be, right?

I mean, Dad,

I am on your side, but...

...I was in the room.

I watched you flatline.

Isn't it beautiful

that you might be a spirit

there to protect the family

when my son is born?

Your grandson?

Isn't it enough for you

to just watch over us like this?

- No.

- No.

-No.

-Right.

No! I'm in a mirror!

I'm in a mirror.

-I wanna be with you.

-Yeah.

You know...

where all the action is.

Right. I-- And I

want that too. And...

-Yes. Yeah.

-Attagirl.

Okay. Okay! Mm.

- I don't like that shade.

I never liked it.

- I wasn't asking you.

Um, did you get

the goods from Dad's?

Yes. Everything

that wasn't covered in mold.

- Or did you want the mold?

- Ha, ha-ha.

Okay, well, did you

get his diving helmet?

And did you get

his fencing sword and the rocks?

Did you get the box of cables?

Box of cables.

That's what I forgot.

Because we need that for...

- Okay, it's not a joke.

All right? Because, look,

it might provide

some sentimental value.

-The cables?

-I don't know.

- Excited for the psychic rabbi?

- Um... Yes. Yes.

Uh, any luck figuring out

why you can't see Dad?

I don't know.

Maybe the connection's

not strong enough

and there's too much dread.

-Probably.

-Hey, babe.

I think I'm finally getting

-cauliflower ear from jiu-jitsu.

-Hey.

-Huge day for me.

-Huge.

Oh, hey, Mr. Grover.

-Oh, it's--

-Oh, come on! He can see him?

-You never even met him!

-Don't worry, Tillie.

-It's only because

I busted raw on your sister.

-Eric.

- Sorry, Mr. Grover.

- Ugh!

-Dad!

-So I should just

-bust raw in somebody...

-No, you shouldn't.

-...and then I'll be

able to see my dad?

-Eric.

Come on, come on. Eric, come on.

-Mom, did you drink

when you were pregnant with me?

-Of course.

Isn't it recommended?

We are gathered

to discuss the lingering spirit

of Daniel Grover

and what may yet be done

to ease his passing

from this life into the next.

Barry is a psychic rabbi.

Do you think we don't know

why we're here?

What I need you to know

is that

this haunting is very real.

It's not just in your mind.

Yeah, this dude

is way more specific

than any of the other

apparitions I know.

He made fun of me

about my birthday.

I didn't even know I was

self-conscious about that.

Oh, you're gonna make

a wonderful father.

Yes.

Mazel, by the way. Ah!

The most common

misconception I hear

about hauntings is,

"Oh, the ghost

is haunting the living."

However, it's you

who are haunting him.

Wow.

You're haunting Dad.

-Yay, yay, and yes!

-Bullshit.

You all need

to unburden yourselves

of an attachment to him.

Every single one of you!

Well, I, I can't see him.

But you probably

already knew that.

Your father isn't visiting you?

-No.

-Wow!

That's impressive.

That means

you've already let him go.

Shut up.

Shut up!

I...

You hear that?

-I did everything right.

-Didn't say that.

You know,

this whole time, Barry,

I've been feeling

very guilty and jealous

about this whole haunting thing.

And, um, I guess

what you're saying is that

I'm the most advanced

family member

because I don't have

any unfinished business

with him.

Now I'm happy

the Jew witch is here.

Thanks, Barry.

You're a real one.

Thank you. Now,

what I need

from the rest of the family

is to come

to terms with the fact

that what you need from him

will never be fulfilled.

Oh, I, I knew that already.

That's why I divorced him.

Yeah, speaking of letting

him go, I never wanted him.

I saw him once at Christmas,

and that was too much.

Fulfilled. For crying out loud,

the man annoyed me

from the day I met him.

You hold on to more

than you know.

Barry...

I say this with love.

f*ck you.

Come together as a family,

ravel in the living bond.

But above all else,

let him go!

And if anyone

needs advice or pointers

from the most advanced

member of the family,

I'd be more than happy

to help all of you oldies.

Okay. Um, no, thank you.

Barry, how are we

supposed to do that?

Heed these words.

Follow my advice.

The remains of the deceased

must be released in a ceremony

that I have created,

based on the teachings

of Rabbi Nachman

and some Steely Dan songs.

-Dad hated Steely Dan.

-Yeah.

All right, uh,

let's all, um, uh,

gather round for the ceremony

in front of the garbage can.

Hey, Daniel. Goodbye, Daniel.

Goodbye, Captain Shitbag.

f*ck you.

-Oh, f*ck you, man!

I don't need it!

-Oh, f*ck you!

No, Harris.

It can't be done now.

It has to be done...

Please say full moon.

Please say full moon.

...on the full moon.

-Bam!

-Hey, Barry. Where'd you

go to rabbinical school?

Was it the, uh,

crystal store on La Cienega?

-I love that place.

-And we can have it

at Carl and Frankie's.

Oh, no, no, no.

By this new moon,

all the lingering,

unresolved feelings

must be made whole

within this family,

or else his soul

will be trapped with you

until you all perish.

But most important of all,

I take checks only.

Check this out.

Hey!

-Are you even f*cking?

-Yes.

-I'm f*cking your ex-wife.

-Can I watch?

Oh, I thought you were.

I have no idea

what she sees in you.

Oh, gosh. Let's think.

Uh, lack of delusions.

Uh, my own money. My,

my d*ck doesn't taste

like Europe in the summer

or like it sleeps

under a bridge?

-Why are you doing this?

-You heard Rabbi Barry.

This is unfinished business.

She has unresolved feelings.

You made her

terrified of marriage.

-And I have to fix that.

-Hey, okay, just calm down.

I f*cked her too.

Then we got married

and it messed everything up.

-You're gonna

mess everything up.

-God! Shut up.

Everybody in her family

talks so f*cking much.

You know,

she is writing terrible things

about you in her journal.

Stop talking!

So I went to the pagan

candle store to get

the Kabbalah trinkets

- for the Phish

concert ceremony...

...to release Dad's soul.

-But what do you--

For the ashes.

-Stop. Stop.

What do you wanna do with them?

Well, it's not "them."

It's a "him."

-Yeah.

-Dad is a "him." He is a "him."

-It's not "him."

-Well, it's not "it."

Did "it" feel right to you?

What do you want to do with him?

-Flush him down the toilet?

-I don't f*cking know.

This sucks.

And I wasn't expecting them

-to ship it back in a box.

-Yeah.

Dad is worried you're not taking

- the astral travel

thing seriously.

-Aw. Well, I'm not.

-Don't. Stop.

It makes sense. It does.

He explained it in a way

that I think is really pretty.

It was, like, time--

I'm butchering it, but it was,

like, time is a line--

You went to law school!

I know that. I know that,

and I'm stressed.

And I'm due any day now.

And Eric has an eye infection

- from his

jiu-jitsu mouthguard...

...and it wasn't

his jiu-jitsu mouthguard.

-He said he wanted

to try on somebody else's.

-Oh, my God.

-Now...

-No, it's sort of--

-What are these?

-Um, it's--

What are these?

-These look really familiar.

-What do they look like to you?

-Look like lottery tickets.

-They're lottery tickets.

Because Dad had a good idea,

and I actually think

it was a really good idea

for when if...

When he gets back,

when, you know,

if, when he gets back,

and then I'll have money.

It's responsible,

I think, personally.

So it's just nice, you know?

Oh, my f*cking God, Violet.

Dad is still manipulating you.

Okay, look, we don't know

what's possible, okay?

Ghosts are real.

What if...

...what if he can come back?

From the dead?

I guess you know

absolutely everything.

You're so smart,

maybe you should

get a regular job.

Uh, so that way,

I don't have to Venmo you

$1100 every month.

So, that way you can

live in a storage unit.

All right.

So, counselor, what's the plan?

You're gonna bring Dad

back from the dead

and win the lottery,

and raise a child with a guy

who got an eye infection

from a mouthguard?

Sounds like a really

good plan. What then?

You'll never be free

in this realm or the next

from Dad's bullshit.

Man, I really thought that

you'd be able to

let this go when he died.

But for someone

who's about to be a mom,

maybe you should

quit acting like a kid.

I'm gonna go be

the responsible one and get

a bunch of soup for my boss,

who really didn't like

the soup I got her before.

Jesus Christ.

You love her too, right?

I don't know.

I'm trying to help you.

I'm trying to have

a conversation with you.

Put up this wall.

And life is not all about you.

You didn't appreciate it.

Nobody appreciated it.

-Ghosts are extremely real.

-I try!

But there's a lot

of psychic residue.

Powerful emotion.

Unfinished business.

Good morning, Frankie.

It's Rabbi Barry.

I'm having a premonition

that I'm going to be

a little late

to the sance tonight.

The full moon is here.

See you tonight.

Make sure you have

the photos, the remains,

and maybe a rotisserie chicken.

My beautiful family,

all gathered here

to get rid of

the ghost of my dad,

who they can all see

in the mirror

except for me. Chin-chin.

Did you know Charles Manson

k*lled Sharon Tate next door?

He did not.

Did he k*ll anyone next door?

Nope. Sorry, man.

Wow. You found someone

crazier than Dad.

At least I have somebody.

How is it going with

that customer service robot

that incinerated our father?

Did you see how stupid Larsa was

at the reunion last night?

I love Larsa.

Oh, you know, Violet,

Tillie did an incredible job

at your Dad's apartment.

I mean, really, it was spotless.

Yep.

It was spotless.

No cleaning fee.

Well, you kept

the photos, right?

But someone must have been

m*rder*d on this block, though,

right, Eric?

Yeah, right? Do you wanna go

start asking neighbors,

or will they know to lie?

Tillie.

-What?

-The photos.

Um...

I have some photos on my phone.

Right. I'm talking

about the ones on film of, like,

his f*cking grandparents

from his apartment.

I threw out the photos...

...because it's time to let go.

Come on.

Come on.

Nobody in this family

feels anything, huh?

Okay. Where's your backpack?

-What?

-Your backpack.

That stupid yellow backpack.

There. And-- Okay. So--

-What are you doing?

-Easy enough to find.

Here we go. Um, I'm not doing--

-This is what I'm doing.

-No, you won't.

- Here we go.

- Stop!

- What are you doing?

- f*ck off!

-You can't just take

the ashes. We need them.

-Why not?

You want what's left of his body

so you can throw that away too?

It's probably

why you can't see him.

You just want to throw him away.

Get rid of him.

-All of you do.

-But you can't

just take Dad's ashes.

Why are you in control

of everything

that has to do with him?

Because you don't care at all!

You're right.

I don't care about him.

You are such a f*cking brat.

Mom, she threw away

the photos. Yell at her.

I don't want to be

in the middle.

Of course you don't. Eric.

-We're leaving.

-Ooh.

No.

You can't go. We can't do

the ceremony without you.

Good. I don't want him to leave.

What about what I want?

Congratulations, Mom.

You have made this

all about you.

Actually, all of you

have made it about you

because you are all narcissists.

I am not a narcissist.

I have asked several shrinks

and two sponsors.

And what I am

is an alcoholic, drug addict,

compulsive overeater,

because my mother didn't

pay enough attention to me

because she is a narcissist.

I am not a narcissist.

I am a hysteric.

Eric, let's go.

Come on, we're leaving.

But there's free food here.

This food is free, right?

Okay, put as much salami

as you can in your pockets

because we are gone.

No, no, you can't leave

until you say

I'm not a bad parent.

Well, in comparison,

you weren't.

Dad was so bad.

Oh, why are you attacking me?

Because we're f*cked up,

and you're the only parent

we have left.

Ladies, please!

Stop being such c**ts!

Eric, we're leaving!

Come on!

I can't abandon a pregnant woman

at an exorcism.

- Not again.

- Eric!

-He took all the salami.

-Oh!

Jesus.

This exorcism sucks.

Let's go.

It's in the middle of rush hour.

- I don't care!

- Great.

Okay, call your sponsor,

call your therapist,

write in your journal,

take a bath.

I, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

- You wanna go to Petrossian?

- -Yes.

That went well.

Hello. Science Care.

Owen speaking.

Am I a bad person?

One moment, please.

- Hi, Mrs. Henderson. I'm gonna

have to put you on hold.

Miss Grover, what seems

to be the problem now?

Okay, I'm just

gonna level with you.

My sister is being manipulated

- by the ghost of our dad.

- Yes!

I knew it was a ghost.

Sorry. Continue.

-Really?

-Yeah.

My family

is haunted by banshees.

Wow.

Okay, so my sister is being

hoodwinked by our dead dad

into a lotto scheme

at eight months pregnant,

and my mom isn't doing

anything to help us.

-It's not fair.

-And I'm the only one

not being haunted by my dad,

and Rabbi Barry says

that I let go.

-Great.

-So I'm right

and everyone else is wrong.

Tillie, I'm gonna

level with you.

I was hit by a car

this week. Okay?

And we cleared your case.

You're off of our books.

You received the ashes.

I'm not even really sure

how you got my number.

Our system should have

automatically cycled you out

to some other inbox.

I found

your LinkedIn profile.

Look, suffice it to say,

I've got other stuff going on.

Now, everything you told me

paints a picture

of you being right,

-except for one thing.

-What's that?

The fact that

you're calling me at all.

Are you real?

After the day I've had,

Miss Grover...

...I honestly don't know.

Look, I'm some

customer service rep

on a lot of painkillers

who can't stop seeing banshees.

But I do know one thing.

Of the two people

on this phone call right now,

only one of them

needs to be convinced

that you're right,

and it's not me.

You are wasted

in your field, sir.

Maybe.

Look, if this is

not too forward of me,

I'd love to email you

my personal phone number

and take you out

for a lovely oyster dinner.

Well, I...

You sure know how to

keep a girl on her toes,

Owen from Science Care.

I wasn't

gonna bring this up,

but your dead ex-husband

keeps telling me

that I'm a f*cking loser,

and so I need you to tell me

that you're not writing down

"Carl is a f*cking loser"

in your book.

I never should have

had kids with him.

Not everyone does everything

right all the time.

I can't afford to not do

everything right all the time.

I'm all they have left,

and I'm doing this

all on my own.

An exorcism? Really, Frankie?

You wanted me

to call Rabbi Barry.

He says this is the way to go.

And you just

took his word for it?

You didn't get a second opinion?

How many psychic rabbis

do you think there are?

-Uh, seven?

-Zero!

I did not give

my consent for this, okay?

And Violet was right.

You can't just throw me away.

You know, you've never been

the brightest bulb on the tree.

I mean, you actually

believe in ghosts.

How you doing, Carl?

-Hey, would you put me down?

-Oh.

- What's happening?

- Put me down, please.

Come on, man.

I'm getting nauseous.

Let me tell you something.

If I was a ghost,

- I would haunt

the sh*t out of you!

I will--

Wow!

Frankie...

What?

-Aw.

-...will you marry me?

Yes, I will!

I love you so much.

I love you.

What the f*ck?

Dandelions...

Oh, give me

your phone. Give me your phone.

Give me your phone.

Give me your phone. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

- Hi.

- Tillie.

Uh, update.

Um, your father

is poltergeisting the house,

but I am taking charge,

and so you need

to go get your grandparents,

and I'll go get Violet, and then

we can have the ashes.

-Okay.

-Oh. I'm engaged!

Wow. Congrats.

Who's the lucky guy?

The guy that gives you

all the money.

-I worked up such a sweat

running all over the place.

-Mm-hm.

-Poltergeisting is hard work.

-Well, you don't have

to poltergeist anymore.

I got your ashes back,

and I am...

not gonna let them

throw you away again.

-Ah, that's my little bunny.

-Yeah.

Listen, turns out Rabbi Barry,

obviously a quack.

-Yeah.

-Here's what I'm thinking.

Book a ticket to Switzerland.

We put my ashes

in that Large Hadron Collider.

- Dad, I can't go to Switzerland.

I'm so pregnant.

Why? Wh-- wh--

what are you talking about?

Y-- your grandson.

I'm due in two weeks.

I'm, like, so pregnant. See?

-I'm, like--

-You know what?

Whenever I told your mother

that she looked...

pregnant, she did not like it.

-Right. Right.

Um, Dad, I wanna help you.

-You know...

Uh, when you,

when you come back,

what do you think

is gonna happen?

-Hm. Well,

likely I'll be exhausted.

-Right.

Uh, I would like to have

my situation studied.

Also, I'm gonna need to get

a place to stay, you know.

Uh, someone to look after me,

take care of me.

So, if not you, who else?

You...

you were supposed to be the one

taking care of me,

just like I'm gonna

have to take care

of this f*cking kid, 'cause...

'cause I'm having a, a kid.

I'm having a kid.

f*ck! I'm having a kid.

-Well, look who deci--

-Shut the f*ck up, Daniel!

Sweetheart, look,

I know you don't want

to get rid of Dad, but I--

We have to get rid of Dad.

Wow! That was so easy.

Eric, you're the man

of the house. Would you please

talk some sense into

your soon-to-be baby mama?

Sir, with all due respect,

without your daughter,

I'm just the craziest guy

most people have ever met.

And while you are my third

favorite ghost that I know,

my loyalty lies to my family.

Marry him.

I'm gonna go inside

and put the salami back.

I, I felt too guilty to eat it.

Um...

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Um, I watched the reunion,

and Larsa is so stupid.

-I love her.

-I love her.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sit with me. Sit with me.

-Sit with me.

Sit with me. Sit with me.

-Okay.

-Am I a bad mom?

-Not even close.

Spirit, your family

is gathered here.

Your remains

are gathered here...

...the most

spiritual time of all...

...on the full moon.

I miss when Barry

was just a lawyer.

We are here to release you.

We do not wanna do

your dirty work no more.

...free your soul!

Be freed from the living...

May you cease to be haunted

by the unresolved

feelings of the living...

Be free from the living!

...and the Angayamabana

School of Magical Rabbi Studies,

I release you!

This house will be clean!

Spirit, Daniel Grover,

we release you.

We release you, Daniel.

- Good to meet you, man.

-Thank you for Violet.

-It's okay. I'm going to

- take care of the girls.

- Good riddance.

Happy trails, man.

We release you.

Goodbye.

Stop throwing sh*t!

People live down here!

Is he still here?

Something's not right.

Can I go inside now?

It's got to be the photos.

Oh, no. I brought the photos.

- How did you know

she threw them out?

I didn't. I've just been

dumpster diving

for old photos every night

while you're asleep

for an art project.

I didn't know who the guy was,

but then I was, like,

"Oh, little Violet."

Sorry, I probably

should have mentioned that.

I didn't really put it together

until right before

we came back here.

Then it's something else.

We have to figure it out.

It's me.

Barry, you're wrong.

I disagree, but I wanna see

where you're going with this.

I'm not advanced.

I haven't let go.

I'm not resolved.

I thought running away

was the same as letting go.

But now I've run

a million miles away

from the thing

I actually had to deal with.

I was an as*h*le to my dad

for not talking to him

for eight years.

I was an as*h*le

to Violet for throwing out

all of his sh*t.

I was an as*h*le to my mom

for making her

feel like a bad parent.

I'm such a f*cking as*h*le

that not even a ghost

will haunt me.

So that begs the question,

how did I become

such an as*h*le?

Well, I learned

from the f*cking best, baby!

Master manipulator,

master as*h*le,

my dad.

- The ghost who I know

can hear me!

- Don't you see?

- This is just another con.

He never shows himself to me,

and now we can't

f*cking get rid of him.

The absent father

who never leaves!

It's brilliant!

I couldn't wait for him to die

so that I didn't have to deal

with avoiding him anymore.

Which is why it's so weird

that I waited outside

of the room while he died.

I just couldn't face him.

And now, every night,

I dream of his dead face.

My sister was

a better daughter than me.

And now my whole family

is stuck with him

because I just couldn't be there

for my dying father.

Tillie.

Tillie, it's okay.

It's not okay.

Sweetheart, it's just--

It's really complicated.

I, I'm sure, on some level,

you wanted to be with him.

But I wasn't with him.

And we even did

a big sance about it,

and maybe you just f*cking

miss your chance sometimes.

I want it to go away,

but it won't go away.

And maybe I should have

been there for him...

when it mattered

instead of when I felt like it.

No. God.

How could she say that?

How could she be

so detached from reality

that she doesn't know

that I love her?

- How can you not know

that you're f*cking dead?

You know a lot of what you

said back there just isn't true.

I love you.

And this is not

one of my schemes.

I wasn't in my right head

back at the hospital.

I mean, if I had...

What do you want? Hm?

What do you want?

You want me

to admit I'm dead? Okay.

I'm dead.

I am so f*cking dead.

I wish you'd answer.

I got a feeling

I'm running out of chances.

Maybe you're right after all.

Sometimes you just...

...miss your g*dd*mn chance!

Hey, you remember...

...when you started

playing soccer

and you got really upset

because you had to play go--

I told you...

...saving the goal is just

as important as scoring a goal.

That the goalie's the most

powerful position on the team.

And no one is more

powerful than my little girl.

I'm sure I'd recognize you

If I lost my memory

There's no voice on Earth

That speaks so sweet

I hope the next lifetime

You'll be somewhere

Next to me...

You remember

what I told you next?

Like two blades of grass

Beneath a tree...

If any one of those

little b*tches

comes anywhere

near my goal box...

"...I want you to scream

and roar as loud as you can...

...and scare

the living sh*t out of them."

All again...

I've only experienced

A grain of sand with you

If I was a star

I'd always be

Right in your view

And someday

I'd hope you'd see me too

I know that

It's not always perfect

If I had the chance

I'd do it all again...

Why are my feet wet?

Why are my feet wet?

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God!

- Ew.

- Oh, my God!

-This is it! This is it!

-Oh, my...

- Come on.

- Oh, my God!

The baby is coming.

It's go time!

This is gonna be so fantastic.

At the bottom

There's a stir

And now the surface

Is a blur

Tell the truth

Like it's a joke

And don't fix the part

That isn't broke

I know I'm just a memory

And I know

That's how it's got to be

So tell the mirror

On the wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall

There's no reflection

Here at all

Mirror, mirror on the wall

There's no reflection

Here at all

Mm, mm

Mm, mm

I'm so tired, I can't sleep

The secrets

That my secrets keep

Down the stairway

To the church

Blackbirds

Hanging in the lurch

And I don't want to

See my name in stone

I tied a ribbon

'Round a bone

Took a ride in a yellow car

And I bought myself

An old guitar

Things ain't

What they used to be

I got a devil after me

Tell the mirror on the wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall

There's no reflection

Here at all

-Mirror, mirror on the wall

-Oh

There's no reflection

-Here at all

-There's no reflection

Here at all

-Mirror, mirror on the wall

-Oh

There's no reflection

Here at all

They're looking high

They're looking low

And you got something

On your mind

Did someone

Give you bad directions?

Were you in the wrong place

At the wrong time?

They found a body

In the river

They found a note

Left in the sand

"Leave my worries

To the water

And leave my body

To the land"

He won't get off my back

He won't get off my back

He won't get off my back

Doesn't see the hammer

Coming down...