01x02 - We Are King

[bunniefuu]

- Haj, forget that jerk!
- Already forgotten. Let's party!

Let's party!

f*ck, dude!

- Leave the bottle here.
- I'm not leaving it.

Dude, Haj, are you an idiot?

You have a criminal record.

If you have trouble or stress, call me.

Hajra is back.

- Hajra.
- Fari, nice to see you.

You want to party?

- Why just three?
- I'm out.

- Why not?
- I'm done with that crap.

It's my birthday!

- Does she want to drive?
- It's nice of you to drive me home.

Do you live in Grunewald too?

Welcome to my party.
Matthias.

- How about we do a line?
- Oh damn!

And what about f*cking?

- You really want to get married?
- Have you met yet?

No, but he's coming this weekend
with his parents.

- Is today Friday?
- Yes. Why?

I have a job interview.
Got anything to mellow me out?

- Sorry.
- I'm calling Calle. Phone's off.

Calle?

Dude, look what's lying here.

I ride home, go up, the door is open.
Everything was ruined.

They blasted the bunker open!

- You owe us 50.000.
- We have a reminder for electricity.

I'm here for the interview.

We'll sell the stuff
and split the money.

Makin' para, for once.

- We're makin' para.
- We're makin' para.

We're makin' paral

We're makin' paral

HOME-BAKED

PARA
WE ARE KING

WE ARE KING

"Dear Mrs. Hamndan,
Thank you for applying as a stewardess,

however, we regret to inform you..."
Oh, f*ck off!

"Dear Mrs. Hamdan..."
Spelled wrong again!

Dicks.

"We thank you for your interest..."

Hey, Calle's calling.

Ah, you'd better not answer.

"We liked your application
and would love to meet you in person."

Where? Where?

At Ralf Rottenburg...

- Plumbing.
- Awesome!

- Isn't that fixing toilets?
- No!

It's more like pipes, drains,
washing machines and stuff.

At least your coworkers
won't all be g*y.

Hey, you've got
a f*cking job interview, Haj!

Hey, bus, bus, bus, dude!

No gentlemen around here.

Oh, how nice to see you!

- The purple looks good!
- Nice, isn't it2 Better than yellow.

Hi.

Oh, how nice!
You're coming to visit me.

Yo, Saturday?

- My name is Sunday.
- I know that.

You get more handsome
each time I see you.

- You've got a girlfriend, don't you?
- Should I be your girl?

- Why not?
- And you?

Hm? Hatam. You're engaged?

- Couldn't Fanta keep her mouth shut?
- Sorry.

- Come on, it's me. Show me a pic.
- No, I meet him tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- I don't even know him yet.

I have an idea. I'll do your hair up
nice and pretty for him.

You guys come by tonight.
I'l do yours too, they need oil.

But tonight won't work.

- We...
- Guys!

No! That one comes last! Careful.

- Why won't tonight work?
- We're dealing.

- We make para.
- Oh, sh*t!

Hey, I would have gotten a free hairdo!

- Whatever!
- You can get that anytime.

- We're with Fari.
- It's okay.

- Are you good?
- Yeah, and you? Thanks, man.

- Fari, what's up?
- Hey, are you good? Have fun.

Hey?

Do you want something?

What?

- Do you want something?
- What do you mean?

A pick-me-up.
Something to wake you up.

- What have you got?
- Okay.

I've got really, really good stuff.

50 euros a gram.

So you get four

for 200.

It's 0.75 max.

That's 12.50 less,

which makes 37.50, 150 for four.

Here, have this.

It's vegan, gluten-free
and without nuts.

Bye.

What the f*ck, man?

Dude, did she just screw us over?

- Not a clue.
- Don't get fast-talked.

Okay, no more weight info.

One vial, 50 euros.

- Straight up.
- Okay.

- So we're sticking to it?
- Oh yes!

- Right?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Then get to work, girls!

I can't deal with
the p*nis-cookie chick.

- What a b*tch!
- I swearl

Dude, I love you guys so much!

You damn b*stards!
I'm as happy as hell, I swear.

- Because you're high.
- No, not at all.

The last six months were so dead
and now I'm living again.

- Living, dude!
- We missed you so much!

- Well, ladies? Are you good?
- Hey, sorry, Rasta-Fari!

- Best bouncer!
- Want a ride?

No, we're good, man.

- Okay, but can I2
- Yeah. Go!

Momma wants some fun!

- Have fun!
- Yo.

- Bye.
- I'll crash as Ras's.

- I love you!
- We love you!

- Everything okay?
- Jazz went home with Fari.

I can't sleep alone now.

- Dad's sleeping.
- Dude, it was so much!

What?

We made so much para today.

Ciaol

I swear, 500 euros in one night.
That's just my cut.

500 euros.
That's a month's rent, dude.

Do this 12 times
and I can afford my own place!

Baby, I want to sleep.

- Oh, I can't sleep yet.
- But we have to sleep.

- Do you want breakfast?
- Breakfast?

Do you have Coco Pops?

I so want Coco Pops!

We don't have any Coco Pops.

Take off your makeup
or you'll get pimples.

Screw pimples! We are king.
Who cares about pimples?

Oh my God!

Nice!

Oh my God!

Look.

- This is so cool.
- Nicel

Oh my God! Come feel this.

Ankle breaker!

Hey, why don't we treat ourselves
to something really awesome?

Should we go to Nike or what?

Nike, my a*s.

I want Gucci.

- Damn, girl!
- She's got a taste for it now.

- You really can't come?
- No.

Hatam's family's coming.
My mom will k*ll me.

I hope he's not a d*uche.

He doesn't look like one.
But why can't you pick a guy yourself?

- lam.
- I thought your family picked him.

They didn't pick him out,
they suggested him.

- Same difference.
- No, listen...

Say you want pizza.
Your family says, "Try diavola."

If you like it, then it's good advice.

- Yep.
- Okay.

But maybe Ras would like
mozzarella and tuna much more.

But why should you try it
if you're happy with diavola?

And you can spruce it up...

So not just one kind of pizza!

So you do need other people too.

No! The toppings aren't people,
they're life.

Having kids
is like getting fresh tomatoes.

I want to try every pizza.

No, then you'd never stop trying.

There are so many hot pizzas!

Where were you? It's late.

Sorry, Dad,
it took longer than expected.

Where were you? Move it!

I have to change!

- Where were you?
- None of your business!

Why are you here? Go get changed!

Dad, how? I just walked in the door!

Go on, get changed! Go!

Take this.

f*ck, guys, he's so not a d*uche.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Can I help you in any way?

No, thanks. We'll manage.

Hey, Ras sent a message.

...he's so not a d*uche.

Just like I said.

Scoot over.

Sorry, the swing is for one person.

How much is this?

2,600 euros.

Okay.

I'll think about it.

Maybe you should just look elsewhere.

What?

I said maybe
you should just look elsewhere.

Why?

Because this is our collection,
and if you can't find anything...

This collection isn't that great.

That jacket
looks like pink aluminum foil.

The mall at Potsdamer Platz
might suit your tastes better.

Yep.

I'll take this cap.

Very well.

- That'll be 250 euros please.
- What? For a cap?

Will you be paying with cash or card?

I'll pay cash.

Thank you.

Do you need a bag?

Screw your brother, you ugly sl*t.

- Ciao.
- Bye.

It tastes absolutely wonderful.

You didn't have to go to all the effort.

Oh, it didn't take very long.

Hatam, how are things
at the car dealership?

Things are going well.

He's a natural.

His superiors and coworkers
are all pleased with him.

Rasaq just got her license.

Really? That's great.

- Show them.
- Not now.

Very pretty picture, right Hatam?

- You look like the rapper Haftbefehl.
- Who?

HATAM:

Dad was so nervous. 25 euros for going
the wrong way down a one-way street.

RASAQ:

Mom started cooking
three days ago.

That's impolite.

"Sans aucun doute."

Without a doubt.

Trés bien, Mademoiselle.

"Retarder."

- To be late.
- You're so smart!

My daughter... What is this?

You have to work on your handwriting!

Try.

"Commetre une faute."

To make a mistake.

Plus engagement.

Huh? We didn't have that.
Is it there?

More effort.
Come on, I want to go home.

Okay, pay attention.
For example a vodka soda.

Okay.

- Enter it.
- Where the hell is it?

Yep. Up.

- Exactly.
- That goes there.

- Right.
- And out here.

Great.

Can you put that in to chill?

Well2

- Going well.
- All good, boss.

- Can I get a Moscow Mule?
- Yes.

Not from you.

From me?

Yeah, go on.

Okay.

That's gin.

Wow. How could you do so much wrong
with so few ingredients?

Thanks.

I'll show you how to make one,
then we can toast to your first shift.

I thought I was just your employee.

True.

We should separate
work and private life.

And you separate yourself from that hat.
It's unprofessional.

- Give us an update.
- Update!

He's so nice. And he smells so nice.
I swear, so nice!

Right. So you guys made out, huh?

Sure, on the table
between dolmas and baklava, Jazz.

- Living it up, Ras.
- Now give us the real lowdown.

He just wrote.
I'll call you back in a bit.

Did you have to eat so much?

I told you to eat beforehand.

- Imagine the impression that makes.
- We were invited to eat. Why not eat?

What do you say, Hatam?¢
Nice girl, isn't she?

And so pretty.
Pleasantly so. Not at all vain.

Did you like her?

I liked her a lot.

To you, lovely ladies.

It's nice that you're here too.

It is set up so you can f*ck
in every corner, right?

Yo.

- Between flamingo and picture window.
- On the desk.

In the f*cking rain shower.

In the bathtub.

How do you do it with a woman?
How does it work?

- Scissor and rub.
- Scissor and rub?

- Hasn't she ever shown you guys?
- No.

Okay.

- Stand up.
- What now?

- You go underneath, okay?
- Okay.

So, scissor...

and rub.

Have you practiced that? When?

- I swear, it was just once.
- But she learns fast.

- Doesn't it hurt the first time?
- No. Why?

Are you afraid of your first time?

Yeah, sure.
Weren't you guys afraid?

I was so drunk
I can't even remember anymore.

Nah, if you're wet enough it's easy.

- Dude, she's right. That's true.
- Yeah!

No, don't worry about it.

Hatam's d*ck won't be very big.

Yo.

Get up. There's a bird in our room.

- What?
- What bird?

What's up?

f*ck! The job interview.

You'll make it.

sh*t.

sh*t, man, half an hour.
Half an hour!

Good luck!

Thanks.

BLOW
THEN SWALLOW

Oh! That won't do.
Want a new one?

No, coffee's coffee, right?

Bettina says
you wanted to be a stewardess.

- Didn't work out.
- At least you're not claustrophobic.

- You might work in tight spaces.
- No, I'm not claustrophobic.

You probably have no safety shoes.
A toilet bowl can fall.

- Tough in weather?
- Yes. I spent half a winter in a shed.

Quick tongue.
Good for customer interaction.

- I can be nice, charming and serious.
- Good, good.

I can keep quiet if I need to.

650 euros for the first year.
Be on time.

No trouble, no drugs.

- Does that mean you're hiring me?
- Up to you.

- Thanks, Mr. Rottenburg.
- Ralf.

- Ralf. I'll deliver, Ralf.
- What's with the handshake?

- Squeeze! You're a plumber.
- I don't want to hurt you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Dude, I have an apprenticeship!

- Congrats, Hajra!
- Thanks.

- Can you take a photo?
- Sure.

So you can see the sign, okay?

- Okay, get ready.
- Okay.

Thanks!

- Are you staying at your friend's?
- Yes.

- You wanted to send me the address.
- sh*t. I forgot.

- You have responsibilities now.
- I gotta go. I need safety shoes.

- Hajra, this is a big chance.
- Yes.

- Use it. And send me the address.
- willl

- You wanted to stop smoking.
- Sure. Tomorrow.

- Hajra got a plumbing apprenticeship.
- Always a safe bet.

How's her father?

I don't think anything's changed.

Hatam says hello.

What's wrong, Dad?

Nothing, but...

Do you have to marry?

I know you think
that you're already ready for it.

But why don't you wait a little?

Dad?

Yes?

Are you afraid of not being
number one anymore?

Can you tell?

Mom?

Hey.

Is Mom taking a break?

- She doesn't work here anymore.
- What do you mean?

I fired her.

Huh? Why?

When she works the register is short.

You can't be serious.

She doesn't steal.
Maybe she miscalculated.

- I don't believe that.
- Are you serious?

Really?

I've got pea soup for you.

- Holy cheese, with lots of holes.
- Very important.

- Wheat and rye bread, as always.
- And do you have the rum?

No, no rum. We said you'd drink less.
And this is so bad for your lungs.

- The hospital hasn't got holy cheese.
- Holy cheese is important.

And we have margarine.

And, just for you, bee sting cake.

Oh, I just love that!
I'll split it with Theo.

Yeah. All right then.

If you need anything,
you can stop by anytime.

Jessie, was five marks enough?

Yes, it was enough.

Ditch the cigarette.

- Calle?
- It's outrageous to mute your phone.

Thank God you can't mute
a knock on the door.

Spit it out! What do you know?

- About what?
- They broke in and gutted my tinderbox!

I won't say what they did to my place
because you're such a neat freak.

Okay, slow down.
What does this have to do with me?

Your number was the last on my mailbox.

Then I go home
and my tinderbox is gutted!

Mailbox full, tinderbox gutted.
There's the connection, right?

Okay, Calle, I called you, but...
How dishonest do you think I am?

Dishonest?

This isn't a raffle.
They ripped my means out from under me!

I'm sorry.

- I thought you didn't do anything?
- I didn't.

Every weekend and evening you hang out
with those g*dd*mn playboys, don't you?

If some Tom, d*ck or Harry
starts boasting, tell me.

No matter what their names.
Take notes and let me know. See you.

- Okay, will do.
- Another thing.

If you screw me over,
I won't be as peacy as I am now.

Your dance career
will end in a Rotterdam club.

Quick like! Very, very, very quick!

Hey, what the hell?

We have to stop selling the sh*t.

- Should we throw it away or what?
- No idea.

Flush it down the toilet, burn it.

- It doesn't matter now.
- f*ck, man!

Dude, do you maybe have an opinion?

Is everything okay?

Sunil fired my mom from the shop.

That loser said she stole money.

What?

Hey, why didn't you say anything?

Don't you get it? We need the money.

I'll say it again.
Calle was at my door.

If we make one mistake,
he'll know it was us, right?

What about that rich b*tch?

- The one from Grunewald.
- What b*tch?

From the club the other night.

- With the ombré shoes?
- With the car.

- Yeah.
- She invited us to her birthday party.

What if we go to her party
and sell the stuff, low key.

She and her pals snort so much.

- It should be on the left somewhere.
- Maybe that one?

- Number two, right?
- Yeah.

I don't hear any music, man.

- What was her name?
- Something with P.

- Patricia?
- No.

- Pauline?
- No.

- Pelen?
- What kind of a name is that?

Yes?

Hi, we're looking for the party.

Uh... There is no party.
Didn't Paula tell you?

No.

Okay, you can come in anyway then.

Okay, cool.

What do we want hanging with her mom?

- Maybe she'll buy some.
- Really?

Rich moms like powdering their noses.

Hello.

I'm Ulrike. Come in.

- Hi.
- Leave your shoes on. Go right through.

Ah, okay.

Paula? Would you come down?

Paula!

- So you're friends of Paula's?
- Yes.

Hajra, Jazz, Fanta.

- Her home girls from Wedding.
- Home girls from Wedding?

And where did you meet?

At a club, in the bathroom.

Girls!

- What are you doing here?
- Huh? You invited us.

Oh, yes.

- Okay. Mom, we'll be upstairs.
- Sure. Have fun.

- Why no party?
- That night, when I was so bombed.

I came home way late.
My mom threw a fit.

Me grounded, car gone, party cancelled.

Sorry we left you lying there,
but you were dog-tired.

Say what?

Ciao, man!

How nice is this?

Did you film solo porn here or what?

- Are you a webcam model?
- No, it's for my Insta account.

- That's for your Insta account?
- Yes, I take photos here.

What's your Insta name?

Powlavons. Paula with "pow".

So P-O-W.

Want to buy something?
I've got something.

All right. What do you have?

Dude, 99 k.
How did you manage that?

I posted my stuff and it just took off.

How many do you want?

Two?

- How much does the designer sh*t cost?
- Nothing. They shower me with it.

- You have sponsors?
- Yes.

I'll give you a deal. Four for five.

- Three?
- Okay.

- Mom!
- A few snacks.

- Life's a b*tch.
- Anything else?

Nol!

- I need to pee. Where's the bathroom?
- There. Snacks?

Nah.

- Are we doing this?
- Yeah.

I just can't deal.

The haves get more for nothing
and the have-nots get nothing.

She sits in her rich-kid bunker
and can afford anything.

I swear she gets 15 grand for one post.

- 15 grand?
- For photographing her ugly mug.

- Let's party. I want to drink.
- No!

Please!

- Our bags are full of coke.
- We'll ditch it first.

Okay.

99 k, man.

What a porn b*tch.

- Are you playing Terror Force on Mars?
- Terraforming Mars.

It sounds like a Mars-Walter game.

The space industry is sadomasochistic,
they think they can send people

to Mars in 13 seconds
and destroy everything.

And our solar system's biggest mountain,
Olympus Mons, isn't on it.

It is a two-dimensional board game,
so you have to choose one side of Mars.

Olympus Mons is 375 miles across
and has a 70,000-foot peak.

Loads of space couldn't be settled.

You sure know about Mars.

Before we climb Olympus Mons we should
get rid of the damn colonies on Earth.

We haven't put a man
on the moon in 40 years.

- I'd prefer a woman on Mars.
- Or women to Mars.

- Do you have another vial?
- Piece one together.

I need fuel to shut myself away.
I'm out.

- You got some?
- In the front.

In the front...

Hey, this is a Calle vial. Light blue
is my trademark. Where'd you get it2

- The club.
- Which one?

- The club.
- What club?

The club.

Who gave you this vial?

I swear, if they just put in
a urinal or a trough for women,

where you can stand...

Jazzionette!

Hey, Calle!
What are you doing here?

Just parking, you know?
The car's gotta last.

That means maintenance,
otherwise you have to repair it.

But stagnation sucks. How are you?

- We were just partying.
- I bet. Did you twerk your asses off2

It's time for after hours,
and here's your host...

- Raul.
- What's up?

I'l show you someone else.
Come with me. Come on.

Do you know her?

Is this them?

- Yes. That's them.
- Come on.

- Let me get out.
- You always talk about being out.

About being in.

- Out!
- In.

- Out!
- In.

God, not again!

So needy. I'll call later. Thanks.

Get inl

No clue what she said.
I've never seen her.

I don't have a clue either. Get in!

- No way we're getting in there.
- My gut tells me differently.

Hey, sh*t, Calle!
I've never seen that c**t.

I haven't seen lots of c**ts.
Get inl

That c**t fed you bull!

You feed me bull. Get in!
You too. Stop staring. sh*t, dude!

I want to know where the snow is!

Right, Coke, Fanta, Sprite,
Dr. Pepper girls, step out. Faster!

- Where is the damn stuff?
- Next door.

"Next door."
Then go with him and get the sh*t, man!

- Faster!
- I'm going too.

Yeah, you're going too, along with her!

This guy says no. Do you?
"Yes, I do, God, damn it!"

First you rob me of my wits,
then of my sh*t! Want to steal away?

- Will you stop talking?
- No! I have this. I'll say what I want!

You f*cked me over. Stay and wait
till that b*tch comes back!

No sh*t...

- Under there.
- Get it out.

Get it out!

- Under that rock.
- Get it! Want me to do it?

Move! Get the sh*t out.

I can't see anything.

Give me the sh*t.

Do you want to blow me?

Want to blow me?

- Are you Ret*rded?
- Hey!

Blow me!

sl*t!

Move!

All the feminist bull is inconsistent.

"E-man-cipation
and men-struation cramps!"

Or a fe-male soccer team.
What's the point of that?

- Hey, you okay?
- You all right?

What did he do to you?

Do you need a tissue or something?

Hey, are you f*cking with me?
Where's the rest that you stole?

I had a whole street pharmacy
worth 50 grand at home.

And you come with a bit of stardust?
Are you sh1tting me?

Where the hell
is the f*cking g*dd*mn rest

of the m*therf*cking g*dd*mn goods?

- That's it.
- Shut your face!

- Other people broke in, not us.
- Other people? Are you sh1tting me?

I don't have time for your deadlines.
You have one week!

I'll repeat that in three simple words.

50 grand in cash in one week.

Brought to my place.
We're done here!

Hey, we don't have 50 grand!
Where are we supposed to get 50 grand?

sh*t.

We didn't steal the damn stuff!

Morning, girls.
I just got to work.

I walked past
a wedding dress place on the way.

Not that it's sure we'll marry,
but there was a really pretty dress.

It was white and a bit flared
with loads of glitter.

I don't know if it'd suit me,
but can we look at it together?

Not too much glitter!

f*ck, I gotta go. Bye.

So, if you have the factor M,

we can very easily calculate
the diagonal.

How?

Fanta, what are you doing? Hello!

No idea.

- No?
- I don't know.

Stop rocking in your chair
and come to the front.

Right, what are we looking for?

- E!
- Yes, thank you.

- E.
- Yes, E.

That is the hypotenuse E.

The one opposite the right angle.

And then we have
the catheti H, A and A and M.

And what do we do now?

- No idea.
- No?

I don't understand it, like I said.

Yeah, what do you expect?

What do you expect?

People to take advantage
of the German educational system.

- Yeah?
- Sure thing, Mr. Winkelmann.

Remember that.
Right, you can sit down.

And you're delivered.

Graduation exams are around the bend.
You all remember the exam next week.

Right? Till then.

Jessica, can you make me a Pierre?

- Yes.
- And two glasses.

Take the hat off.
You have such pretty eyes.

Okay.

- Jessica.
- Yeah?

Can you come here a sec?

What is that there? On your eye?

- Nothing.
- Hey, come on.

- What is that?
- Nothing.

Sorry.

Jessica. Hey, hey. Hey, hey!

- It's best if you take the night off.
- No, I definitely want to work.

I'll pay you for the shift.

Yeah? Come on.

I'll drive you home.

Okay.

Thanks for the ride.

So what happened?

- You mean to my eye?
- Yep.

I bit the dust on an e-scooter.

Really?

Yeah.

Do you always cry
when you fall off a scooter?

Well, it hurts.

They are dangerous things.

Yes, most definitely.

If you need help,

then you can let me know.

I don't need help.

But thanks.

Yes, that's right 4EY
is what I'd call it.

For Ever Young, but just the acronym.

Then a line and underneath it
"Home-made in Wedding".

- Yes, it's a metaphor.
- Hi, Mom.

Because, um...

Yes, exactly, it's just a metaphor.

Because it's important it's not just
for an elite group but for everybody.

Huh? What are you doing here?

Paula, I need your help.

I need 50 grand from you.