01x05 - Just 1 Job

[bunniefuu]

Calle?

sh*t!

Some as*h*le stole Calle's drugs
and left a bag. You want me to leave it2

You owe us 50,000.

Where is the f*cking g*dd*mn rest?

That's it.

- Other people broke in.
- Are you sh1tting me?

It was Raul, man.
They shot him in the head.

You owe me.
You're going to the Polish border.

- Can you teach me how to sh**t?
- g*n, clip. You put the clip in.

- We can't take a g*n!
- So you decide that?

I have to talk to you, Hajra.

You won't guess who I caught in my room.
Hajra and Yusuf!

No way!

- Hey!
- Should I show you how to do it right?

Nice twerking, b*tch. Smoking hot!

- Didn't you pay the electricity bill?
- Fanta! You were going to do it!

As far as your diploma is concerned,
things look pretty... black.

- I just wanted to ask how work's going.
- I lied. I wasn't at work.

I was looking for an apartment.
Do you want to move in?

Hatam and I are engaged.

- I hope Ras isn't making a mistake.
- I hope you aren't either.

- And Matthias's b*tch?
- Gone.

- Can I get the day after tomorrow off2
- Yes.

We have to pick up a car
at the Polish border and bring it here.

It's a drug run.

- Yes. And she got a g*n!
- What's with you?

Ah, I have a license. I'm out!
It was clear you'd get in deep sh*t.

- Went great.
- Someone had to tell her.

Did it do any good?

PARA
WE ARE KING

JUST 1 JOB

Slowly.
Don't stress out, we've got time.

Left.

- Should I go ahead?
- Go ahead.

- Yeah, take it off.
- Okay.

Well2

Is it nice or isn't it2

Nice.

So nice! What are you saying?
We have a Mr. and Mrs. Smith kitchen!

The oven, loads of cupboards.
I've always wanted this!

Go in. Take a look.
Why are you just standing there?

Look how big it is.
I want to put a Jacuzzi on the balcony.

I want a sauna with a view for outside.

I always wanted a fireplace like this!

It's really cool.

Imagine we have kids.
They can play down there.

There are eyes everywhere.
They'll be fine.

- Do you like it?
- Yes, it's beautiful.

Are you sure it'll work out?

- Why wouldn't it?
- It's an expensive neighborhood.

Hey!
It's not like I earn five euros an hour.

Do you want to?

Yes.

- Yes?
- Yes.

- Yes?
- Yes!

I'll call right now.

Ms. Martins, hello. This is Mr...
You recognized my voice, how nice.

My fiancée and I
looked at the apartment.

We want the apartment.

Definitely. As fast as possible.

When can you do it?

...all of the toys,
but not the food.

Hey! Are you even listening?

- Yes.
- Is everything okay?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Oh, yeah.
I wanted to let you know that I'll...

I'l be a bit late tomorrow
because I have my study group.

Have you heard from Ras?

No, nothing.

Then I'll have to drive the car back.

Yeah.

We have to stop with the mindfuck.
If 1,000 idiots can do this, so can we.

- Hello, Bettina.
- Hey, Hajra!

Rottenburg called
and said you weren't at work.

Is everything okay?

Yes, everything's okay.

I had stomach cramps this morning
and was barfing like crazy.

I thought I'd rest for a day.
I'm sure it'll be better in a few days.

All right.

Well, then rest up. We'll talk soon.

- Yes, we'll do that.
- All right. Talk to you soon.

Take care. Thanks.

- Did you get your tickets?
- Yeah.

- I don't have one yet.
- I'll send it to you.

- Check now.
- Yep.

This, right?

- Take a screenshot.
- Okay.

I'm not down with this,
but I'm the only one with a license.

I love you, man!

Only if you don't have
the g*n on you.

- Did you pack the stuff?
- What stuff?

The schnapps and stuff.

- You have schnapps?
- I didn't see it.

We passed two stores.
We could've bought some.

You're driving and want to drink too?

Driving? You're doing that for us now.

It wouldn't be bad to do this sober.

We can get wasted afterwards.

I'l be so glad when this crap is over.

Me too.

- Me too.
- Me too.

I can't wait to plan my wedding
with you guys with no worries.

Know what I can't wait for?

- Doing up your apartment with you.
- Oh, yes!

I can't wait to get you
a really pretty flower girl dress.

And you, Haj?

I want to finish my apprenticeship.

Rottenburg's a good boss.
I want to do right by him.

- I'm so proud of you.
- Me too.

- And you?
- Hey...

No clue. I'll just be glad
when it's over and we can get smashed.

Oh, yeah.

Rasaq and Hajra are back!

Yo, what's up? Video diary 1.0!

- So nice!
- Jazz!

Jazz, look over here!

- Ah!
- It's okay.

MAIN STREET BUS STOP

- Are you sure this is the right stop?
- I hope so.

It's so dead here.
The bus only stops here once a day.

Deader than my grandma, dude.

Okay, this way.

Not a soul out on the streets.

Look, the windows are even bricked up.

Haj, are you sure this is the right way?

Yeah.

- I can't go on.
- I can't help it.

The dot keeps moving from corner
to corner, then to the bottom.

- I'll just take the middle.
- What middle?

Haj, how is this going to work?

We get there,
ring the bell and talk to him?

Or is he coming out?

He'll have cake and coffee
and we'll sit and chat with him.

No clue!

We'll be home soon.
We get the drugs, it'll be easy.

- Yeah, easy.
- How much longer do we have to walk?

Yeah, it's right...

- We take a left here, right?
- Yeah.

- So is this it?
- Yeah, that's it.

It looks like
it's out of Hansel and Gretel.

Ready?

Yeah.

It sure looks like
they cook meth in the basement.

- So we're picking up meth?
- Maybe.

Hello.

Hello.

Pascal sent us.

Calle.

Enjoy!

Hi.

Would you come a bit closer?

Why are there four of you?

Pascal said three girls.

We had to arrange for a driver.

- How do you mean?
- We don't have licenses.

So we needed a driver.

- And who's that?
- Me.

Nah. No, I mean...

I won't do this. We agreed
to something totally different.

- You can take off again.
- Come again?

You can take off.

So we came all this way for nothing?

Are you the big boss?

Honey.

Just look at you guys.
I was joking!

Micha was just joshing you a little.

- Where are you from?
- Berlin.

- I figured that. Berlin's big.
- Wedding.

- Where in Wedding?
- Near Pankstrasse.

Ah, I...

I grew up on Nettelbeckplatz.

Hold on.

Did you see that?

He's sick.

Oh, boy!

- Did you guys see what he did?
- No idea.

You know the deal.
The car has to go directly to Berlin.

Don't drive too fast or too slow.

Keep smiling
and the job will be done in no time.

Just so we get each other,
if you screw this up, I'll k*ll you.

- Yes, we understand.
- Get out now.

The dog doesn't like you. Out!

- Have a nice day.
- The car's out front.

- Major creep!
- What was with that dude?

Disgusting.

Hey!

- Sweet ride, man!
- Nicel

- Aw, nol!
- He can't be serious!

- You gotta be kidding!
- I've never driven such a big car.

It's like a small one, just bigger.

It's a lot bigger.
Is it harder to steer?

- Let's give it a shot.
- It's so conspicuous. It's a huge van.

Where do you think the stuff is hidden?
In the back?

- Maybe in the roof.
- I heard people smuggle drugs in tires.

You really have no idea what he gave us?

No, coke, meth, Molly.

From the look of him Molly's body parts.

- Stop it!
- There's organ trafficking too.

- Like kidneys wrapped in plastic...
- Yeah, vacuum-packed livers...

Hey! Can we please change the subject?
Let's play a game.

What do you want to play?
Hide-and-seek?

No, spot the yellow car.

- I spy?
- Yeah, that's good.

- Okay.
- Let's go.

I spy something that looks like...
a chopped off arm!

Oh, Hajra!

- Llama?
- No.

- Locust?
- No.

- Lion?
- No, not that easy!

- Leopard?
- No.

- Okay, a hint.
- Okay...

It's an animal,
but you can also say it to a guy.

A lounge lizard.

- A lounge lizard!
- What?

- What guy do you call that?
- I don't call guys anything.

But it works.

Oh, yeah, lounge lizard!

- Give it to mel
- So what is it?

Take a serious guess.

Okay.

La... Le...

Yes?

- Le...
- No idea.

A leech, man! A leech.

What?

A leech isn't an animal.

Of course it is!

No, it's a vegetable, like leek.

Are you Ret*rded?
A leech is like a salamander or a snake.

- Hold on.
- I'm sure of it.

- Are you really googling it?
- Do it!

She knows about men,
I'm not sure about animals.

Okay, it's not a vegetable.
It says it's a kind of worm.

- A worm.
- Show me.

Show me.

Hey, guys, I've got to pee.
Can we stop?

Mom, in a red binder.

I put a piece of paper in the front

with your tax ID,
insurance numbers and everything.

You'll manage.

Okay, try it.

Okay. Bye.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

My mom has a new job

and I have to help her fill out forms.

Do you have a headache too?

Yusuf: When can I see you?
I miss you.

- No. Have you drunk too little?
- Maybe.

Jazz is going to Paris this weekend.
I'm home alone. U comin'?

Can you get me some more Vicodin?

Why? Does your hand still hurt?

- A little.
- Show me.

It shouldn't hurt like that.
A doctor should check it.

It's not that bad.

You have to be careful with Vicodin.

f*ck! Oh my God!

Oh my God! sh*t! f*ck!

- There's a f*cking tick on me!
- No, there's nothing there.

- Not a thing.
- You sure?

- Yes.
- Calm down.

f*ck. Do you know ticks
can give you Lyme disease?

Your extremities swell up,
your whole body. My cousin had it.

Her legs swelled up on a plane
and she couldn't see her feet.

Jazz, stop it.

- I'm serious.
- Are there ticks in cornfields?

You won't get Lyme disease.
Let's go.

- I'm not sh1tting you.
- We'll tell you if your leg swells up.

Ras, Fanta, Jazz and Hajra too
Driving in a van that's full of toot

From Poland to Berlin to be free again
So druggies can get their noses bent

That dog in the house
Made me want to split

I swear, it was ready
To rip our heads to bits

Luckily I didn't get the shits

Oh, Jazz, get a grip

Tomorrow we'll be off this trip

Now I'm cruising down this strip

Let's not worry about para at all

Okay, Jessica!

- Yo!
- Girl!

- So nice!
- Oh my god.

- Man, we need to record an album.
- Definitely!

In your face, Paula!

Hey, my video's got 980 likes!

- The subway video?
- Yeah!

- Crazy!
- Like 1,000 people have shared it.

Oh my God, that went crazy fast.

Hey, you b*tch!
Your 99K like to watch me twerk!

See, you didn't have to get pissed off.
She's getting you followers.

Yeah? Is Paula your new BF or what?

You're just jealous of her.

- She gave you a g*n so you like her.
- A lake! There's a lake!

- Oh my God, let's stop at the lake!
- No way!

Ras needs a break from driving.

We had a pee stop for you.
We can go to the lake.

- Yeah, let's go.
- You can pee on each other.

- Okay, yalla.
- Let's go!

I'll race youl!

- Jazz, get in!
- Yalla, Jazz!

- Get in!
- No way, man.

- It's great!
- There are parasites in lakes.

- What?
- Parasites. They swim into penises.

I'm sure they swim into pussies too.

They lay eggs in your stomach

and then you poop
and have little worms in your sh*t.

Sand has little critters in it
that are worse than ticks,

and they are on your skin.

I read that too.
They lay eggs under your skin.

- The eggs can burst...
- They leave spots on your skin.

- And if flies fly into the blisters...
- You're so full of sh*t.

- They'll lay eggs and your skin...
- Hey!

No! No! Nol!

Nol!

Leave mel

- This is so nice.
- Yeah.

It sure is.

You know when certain situations
remind you of past feelings?

I'm having that now.

Before I went to school,
my parents used to take me to Croatia,

in the car.

Baba's little car loaded up with stuff.

We had drinks and snacks.

We drove out of Berlin on the highway,

and there was always this moment
when I'd look back.

I could see the TV Tower, really small.

And then I thought,
"Man, this is where freedom starts."

All the crap was behind me.

- So nice.
- And that's how it feels now.

- Yeah.
- Totally.

Hey, Ras, can I ask you something?

- Sure.
- Okay. But don't get me wrong, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Is this a rational thing
or are you really crazy in love?

No idea.

I know that whenever I see him
I get really excited.

When I see him
I get a strange feeling in my heart,

this strange pounding.

- How gross.
- It's not gross. It's beautiful.

I've never felt like this about a guy.

And when I look into his eyes

I feel this deep sense of trust,
you know?

So it's not strange for me to want
to marry him after such a brief time.

- I don't know, I just trust him.
- You're so crazy in love.

A long as he's not screwing with you.

Yeah.

Not every guy is like Yusuf.

Do you picture having sex with him?

That's your version
of being crazy in love!

- Jazz only knows crazy horny.
- Not true!

You get insight
into the soul during sex.

No, sex muddles up your mind.
Remember Kira?

- That b*tch.
- Good she's gone.

I couldn't get away from her
because the sex was so good.

- Okay, you're right.
- Yes, muddled mind.

Have you had a sneak peak of Hatam?2

- She's asking what his d*ck looks like.
- Hajra, man! What?

I want to be sure
he can satisfy you later.

I'm not worried at all.
I totally trust it'll work.

Don't expect too much.
The first time is hard and crappy.

Maybe she'll be lucky.

Nol! It's only hard for a short time.

- You're so mean!
- Maybe he jerks off beforehand.

- So that he doesn't...
- But with pics of Ras.

Poor Hatam!
If he were to hear this...

Poor you if you're unhappy.

Yeah.

How about you, Jazz?

- What?
- With you and Keil?

- Matthias Keil.
- With you and Matthias Keil?

Everything's cool with us.

- She's madly in love.
- That doesn't happen to me.

You keep talking about moles
on his left earlobe.

I just said that one mole
is really sweet.

Jazz, honestly,
you can so tell you're in love.

You guys are so Ret*rded!
You know it, right?

You were with him
and your whole body smells of him.

l... Okay.

Yes, I...

I have embarrassing thoughts like
how our last names would look together.

Stuff like that.
But our kids would be really pretty.

- Madly in love!
- Madly in love.

f*ck you.

Hey, I'm sorry
I dragged you guys into this sh*t.

I just don't get it.
I always have to attract trouble.

I'm really sorry. Okay?

f*ck y'all!

Move overl

- f*ck. What was that?
- What was that?

- Are you all okay?
- Yeah.

The damn tire blew!

- Oh, no!
- f*ck, bro.

sh*t.

- Is it completely ruined?
- Damn thing.

f*ck, man.

Now what?

We change the tire.

Has any of you ever done that?

- No, but I think there's a spare tire.
- That's right.

- Is there?
- Yes.

Hey, Haj, can you help a sec?

At least we know where it was.

- Let's get it back in there fast.
- No! Don't touch it!

- We have to get it inside!
- Our fingerprints!

No way, man.
If we get busted, we're screwed.

Shut up now!

Don't argue on the road
with the coke right there.

You stuff it back in.
We change the tire.

I'll look for a tutorial.

Oh, f*ck!

f*cking bullshit, man!

- Is that all of it2
- Yes.

Can we somehow put this...

Dude!

It's not working.

Then you crank the car...

Then you put the black thing
under the car.

- Where under the car?
- Stick it in the groove and crank it.

- What groove?
- Put it under there and crank it up.

Can't you just show me the video?

I only get a signal up here.
That's why I'm standing like that.

Okay, into the groove...

It's really easy.
You just have to crank it.

Really easy!

Your a*s is easy.

- This guy is hot.
- Are you seriously checking him out?

f*ck!

- f*ck, f*ck!
- What?

We've lost the signal. We lost it.

Do you have it2 Oh, f*ck, man.

We'll manage it. Keep calm.

Okay.

- Is it in?
- No.

Okay, let's hold it
and then close it slowly.

Okay.

Man!

- Bro, I got the groove.
- Really?

That's right. You're so dope!

That's exactly like he did it!

- What a sick b*tch!
- Oh my God!

She's changing a f*cking tire, man!

Wait, wait, wait.
Don't lift it before...

- I can't do it like that.
- Let me step on it.

Okay.

We just changed a tire!

The f*cking tire, man!

- Nice.
- One, two, three.

- Or I'll put itin...
- Okay, one, two...

Teamwork!

I have the stuff on my feet, man.

It's sticking to everything, man.

Can I have some of that too?

It's not coming off either.

- Can I?
- Yeah.

Guys, the cops are coming.
What are we going to do?

- f*ck, dude! We get out of here now.
- No, no!

Nol!

Stay cool. They won't find it.

We're in the middle of nowhere.
They're racists for sure!

- We'll take care of it. Jazz will.
- I'm not saying a word.

I'm not saying a word.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hello.
- Can we help?

No, we've taken care of it.

- Please get off the road.
- What's going on?

- We had a flat.
- A flat tire?

- And you changed it all by yourselves?
- Not bad.

- Kudos.
- Are you going to leave it there?

- Um... We'll take it along.
- Do that.

- What are you doing out here?
- Swimming in a lake.

Which lake was it then?

We marked it with a pin on Google Maps
and drove to it.

- Around here?
- Yes.

- There...
- The one where you can go wakeboarding?

- Lots of hustle and bustle?
- No. No.

- No, it's Pin Lake.
- Come on!

Pin Lake! It has a pin in the middle.

You can climb up and jump down.

- Probably not the same lake.
- Who was driving?

Me.

It's a T4, right?

- Yeah, a classic van.
- You had one of those, right?

I called mine Uwe.
Does yours have a name?

- No, not yet.
- You had little curtains in the back.

Converted for going surfing
on the French Atlantic coast.

You always cranked up
Bob Marley, right?

Sorry. License and registration, please.

- Yes. The registration, can you?
- Yeah.

- I'm not sure we have the registration.
- Okay.

Let's wait and hope you do.
Are you friends or roommates?

Colleagues?

Friends.

Wonderful weather. Thanks.

Oh, brand new!
I'm almost scared to touch it.

Rasaqg Moussa.
Did I pronounce that right?

- Yes.
- Persian?

Arabic.

- Very unspoiled.
- Thanks.

"Stefan Rogowski." Who's that?

- My uncle.
- Your uncle from Pasewalk?

- Yes.
- Okay.

I'd like to see your IDs please.

- I forgot mine at home.
- I don't have mine on me either.

Okay. You?

- I forgot mine at home too.
- Forgot, not on you, forgot.

I'd like you to show my colleague
the hazard triangle and first-aid kit.

And you three up against the car.

Line up here facing the car,
hands on the roof. I'm doing a pat down.

Sorry, I don't really get...

- You don't need to.
- And why?

Because I'm telling you to.

- You didn't bring anything? No boat...
- No.

- Do it!
- We didn't do anything.

You lied to me.
Your uncle from Pasewalk is from Anklam.

Hands on the roof, legs apart.

Do itl

Further apart. Apart.

What else have you got?

- The first-aid kit.
- Yes, that's unopened, right?

- Stand still!
- Very important.

After 20 years
the compresses and gauze expire.

- They're no longer sterile.
- Legs further apart.

- If you take a Band-Aid out...
- Further apart.

...don't just
replace it with a Sponge Bob Band-Aid.

It has to be certified.

- Stand still!
- Everything's here, as required.

It would have been better to turn on
the hazard lights and put up the sign.

Even when you're out here,
just so you know next time.

- Stand still.
- Very important. You have vests?

- Sorry, this is going too far.
- I decide what's too farl

Stand still!

Stop! That's ill*gal!

- That's so ill*gal!
- Put the telephone away!

- I've got it on video.
- Turn off the camera.

- I can post it online with one click!
- Camera off! That's a safety measure!

- That's sexual as*ault!
- No! That's a safety measure!

- Eric!
- That's a safety measure!

Let's get going, Eric!
Everything's fine.

- It's a safety measure!
- Eric!

Here, your papers. I'm sorry.

Have a nice day.

- Give me the video!
- I don't have one.

- Give me the damn video!
- I don't have one!

I want that as*h*le to pay for it!

My phone was dead the whole time.

My phone's dead.

Yes?

Yes, that's me.

What?

Okay.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay, I'll send him an email.

Yes.

Who was that?

- That was Kool Savas's manager.
- What?

- Kool Savas?
- They saw my subway video.

Kool Savas wants me to be
in his music video.

No! Don't mess with us.

One girl dances in the music video
and they want me to be that girl!

Stop!

Man, I can't deal!

Dude, what?

I get to be the girl!

Does he need
a few homies for the background?

I'm rich, bro!
I'll buy you guys a mansion with a lake.

- When did he plan to be here?
- He should be here anytime now.

Yeah.

Yeah, Sunday, what is it?

Oh, man, just do something.

Watch TV, read a book or talk to Mom.
Is she home or not?

All right then.

I'll get home when I get home, okay?

Okay.

- Everything okay?
- He always wants something.

If it's not him, it's my mom.
Fanta, do this. Fanta, do that.

f*ck off, I'm sick of it!
I can't always do everything.

- Everything will be fine, okay?
- No, it won't!

What's going on?

- Man, I quit school.
- What did you do?

What? Why did you do that?

I'm getting screwed from all sides
and I've had enough.

- I promise, it'll be fine.
- I don't know what to do.

- We'll sort it out.
- f*ck, Calle.

Calm down, okay?

- It'll be okay. Calm down, okay?
- Yeah.

- Okay, will you be all right?
- Yes.

- Who is she?
- I drove.

- It's fine, she's cool.
- You got yourself a driver, swell

- How did it go?
- Good, but don't be surprised.

A few screws are loose.
The cladding burst open.

The sh*t fell out.
We broke down, flat tire.

- But it's all okay.
- You had a breakdown before the tire.

And for a loose screw, you need a nut.
You are nuts, so you should know that.

Could you wait in the car
till this is over? New customers.

It looks like a welcoming committee.
Heads down and quiet!

I'll treat you to a round, every round.
Heads down!

- You good?
- Totally.

- Are you Omar?
- I'm Omar.

Omar with an "R," right?
Five kilos, right?

As agreed.

Come on then.

Your customers can
put their noses to the table.

Big guy, can you keep it from shutting?
I can only keep talking.

High-tech stuff.

Take a line and you'll feel
like a border soldier on the watchtower,

'All Along the Watchtower".

- Do you know Jimi?
- Who's Jimi?

Hendrix, the guitarist with the Afro.

- The black Udo Lindenberg.
- Don't know him.

- Why not?
- Why "why not"?

- Get moving, bro.
- You probably only listen to rap music.

Done. Completamente, bro.

I'd like to have it all.

Dude, you have it all.
You can count it on one hand.

You don't get me. Give me all of it.

What? Is this 'Antiques Roadshow'?

Shut your face and pack it all up!

That is for other customers.
Order earlier.

Just do what I tell you, okay?

- Are you trying to f*ck with me?
- Are you f*cking with me? Do it!

- 1 did it. The bag's full.
- Put it all in!

- Shut your mouth and put it all in!
- Does he always repeat himself?

- And now?
- Chill!

I deal with the Russians.

Shut up!

- What's going on?
- Nothing. Come on, let's go.

Let's go!