- ♪ Sometimes I feel
like I'm drowning now ♪
♪ I feel like
I'm falling down ♪
♪ Oh, I feel that 'cause
you gave me love ♪
♪ And you know
I won't be afraid now ♪
- I am going to talk to talk
to the ghostwriter.
I would never intentionally
want to ever hurt anybody.
And, like, that
wouldn't bother me?
Is that who I am?
[dramatic music]
Nicky, am I right or wrong?
- No, I think
she didn't mean it that way.
She just meant like
sweeping things--
- Well, that's
the way I read it.
That's so mean.
♪ ♪
The ghostwriter took
that upon herself
and I will call her on that.
- She meant, like,
sweeping things under the rug
and just like--
- 100%,
I sweep things under the rug.
- Yeah, so I think
that's what she meant.
My mom absolutely knows that
she avoids tough conversations
and sweeps things
under the rug,
and that's exactly
what she's doing here.
Instead of facing the things
that happened to me
and how and when I'm choosing
to share my story,
she's blaming the writer
I collaborated with instead.
Denial and avoidance
is a hard habit to break.
- I don't know.
This feels like velvet.
- Lip gloss is a nervous tic
with you.
- It is?
- Mm-hmm.
- [pops lips]
Whatever.
- Just want to welcome
everyone to my--
[laughter]
You and your lipstick.
- I have chronic dry lips.
Oh, let me see that.
- What?
- Is it the--the magazine.
- Which one?
The "Harper's"?
- The "Harper's Bazaar," dear.
My magazine.
So the book comes out when?
- March 14th.
- Are there any more surprises?
- I thought
you read the whole book.
- No, I di--
basically, I did.
Didn't I call you?
I mean,
Nicky said I have it here.
But you have publicists that
you pay a lot of money to,
and I should be given
a little heads-up.
I mean,
it's a big pill to swallow.
Like, I'm in shock.
[soft tense music]
It breaks my heart
to think that you--
I mean, I did say something
to you.
And my mother said it to me.
God forbid if anything
if you ever--
You come to me.
Never be afraid.
I mean, never--
I mean, if that ever happened.
- Do you think if something
similar had happened to you,
you would have
went to your mom?
- 100%.
I would have come to my mom
in a minute.
♪ ♪
- [clears throat]
It just was hard to talk about
because I think when
bad things happen to you,
you put the shame on yourself.
- There's no reason
you should feel shame.
- I know that now as an adult,
but when you're a teenager--
- But to carry all of that
you're keeping all this in,
and then all this time,
I would have been there.
- You're just hard to talk
about serious things with.
Because you
don't like it either.
It's hard to talk about.
- I used to ask you,
"Are you getting
little boobies? Do you feel--"
She would go, "Ew!"
- Yes, it makes me
feel like a weirdo.
- Well, what am I--what
else am I supposed to say?
- Nothing.
- No, if I don't say
anything, I mean--
- [laughing] "Are you getting
little boobies?"
- What do--
I don't know what to say.
- When I was probably 12 or 13,
I had a diary hidden
in my room.
And one day, I overheard
my mom with her sisters
reading things from my diary
about this boy
that I had a crush on.
They were all laughing,
and I was mortified.
So ever since that moment,
I just kept a lot in.
[somber music]
- I told my mom everything.
Nicky's told me everything.
My boys tell me everything.
- But you were really strict,
and she was probably scared.
- You were so strict and I was
scared to tell you anything
because you'd get so mad
because were so protective.
- Then why do you do
all those things though?
Why would you continue
to be so fearless
and put yourself
at such risk and danger?
- Because I was
going through trauma,
and I just wanted to be out.
I know it's really hard for her
to hear that I didn't tell her
about painful,
traumatic experiences
that happened to me.
But instead of being upset
about not being told,
I wish she could just
try to think about it
from what I had to go through.
- I mean, Paris, you know--
I would think, I mean,
I know that Nicky would know.
I mean, would you
feel uncomfortable
to come to me, Nicky?
- With what?
- Like, if there was something
really crazy going on?
- No.
- So, I mean, you're unusual.
- Well, I didn't want
to upset anyone.
And I just--
- But, Paris, you know,
I'm your mother.
- I feel like you would
have got mad at me.
- What am I going to do?
- [laughing]
Send me to Provo.
- Paris, it was bad.
Look, I grew up in LA.
I grew up in Beverly Hills.
I'm used to a lot
of crazy stuff.
This was beyond.
You were like a-a wild animal.
It was crazy.
I would say you're an alien.
- Then when you say all this,
you make me feel like I'm bad.
- You're unusual.
No, baby, you're unusual.
- She was like that
because she had been through
so many horrific things.
- Um...
♪ ♪
- It all started
to make sense, Paris.
It all started to make sense.
- What did?
- The r*pe happened
right before the acting out.
a few years ago, she goes,
"I'm telling you right now,
something went down."
I'm like,
"No, I would have known."
She goes "I--"
And so did our therapist.
- Okay.
[chuckles]
- I don't want my mom
just to watch this
and be like,
"Paris threw me under the bus
and, like, like I hate her."
♪ ♪
I don't know what to say.
♪ ♪
- You do just want
to focus on the positive
and the happy things
and you don't want to talk
about the negative things,
but sometimes you have to.
That's life.
- I agree, Nicky.
I know.
- I mean, you wouldn't tell us
when we were little
if an animal died,
if a goldfish died.
You just didn't deal with it.
You're still like that.
Where does that stem from?
- You know...
I'm a Pisces.
If you read about me, I look
through rose-colored lenses
and I want everybody
to be happy.
- I'm a straight sh**ter.
I'm gonna tell you how it is.
- [softly] I know.
- You guys are not like that.
I like the truth.
The truth hurts sometimes, yes.
- The truth does
hurt sometimes.
♪ ♪
- I used to think if
I don't deal with it, and--
it's just gonna go away.
I'm in denial.
But you know what?
It's been working so far.
So maybe that works for me.
♪ ♪
We're all kind of, like,
digesting this
because there's a lot
of new information
that we both learned.
♪ ♪
- I wish that she
had just hugged me
and just said I love you
and everything's gonna be okay.
I was really not
looking forward
to starting this conversation,
and now it's just making me
wish I didn't do it at all.
♪ ♪
Okay, I need to pack.
I have a fitting tonight.
- What's the fitting for now?
- The book tour.
- You've taken all
of her clothes.
- Just take ten dresses and go!
- No, it's a big deal.
I have to be--
- Oh, my God.
This is too much.
- ♪ Welcome to that new life ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ You only put the work in ♪
- I thought if I talked to
my mom before the book tour
it would help
alleviate some stress,
but I feel like it's done
the exact opposite.
- "Watch What Happens Live,"
"Good Morning America,"
"TODAY" show, "The View,"
book signing,
Barnes & Noble Union Square.
- This press tour is
really important to me
because I put so much
hard work into this book.
This is my life story
and the most vulnerable
and real that I've ever been.
So cute.
- We have the Versace.
- It's like it's for a baby.
- [laughs]
- So many other people
who have been through
the same experiences.
I want them to know
that they're not alone.
- These in black section too.
- I can't tell.
Gus, may I please
have a Sprite?
I feel dizzy.
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Too feathery.
- Too ruffly.
Too layer-y.
No.
- No?
- [groans]
I think we have better.
That's cute.
- Yeah.
- Peanut butter and jelly
on demand.
- Thank you.
I've literally ate like five
peanut butter and jellies today
and that's it.
- Mmm.
- Too slutty.
Too, like, fluffy or whatever.
Mmm.
Um...
[somber music]
- ♪ I feel the feeling
of my heart ♪
♪ The waves around me
seem to all be crashing ♪
[smooches]
[upbeat music]
[laughs]
How cute you are in the pink.
[dog toy squeaking]
- ♪ I see you walk
in the lightning flash ♪
♪ I can see it in your eyes ♪
[Crypto barks]
- Yes.
- All right.
- Oh, no.
[Crypto barking]
Tomorrow.
♪ ♪
- I'm so excited
that you're interested
in my housewares collection
for QVC.
I hope you love my line
just as much as I do,
and I really
enjoyed creating it.
- Perfect.
That was amazing.
- It's time to decompress.
Just...[blows air]
- Oh, my God, this schedule
is so crazy in New York.
- It's draining.
I get it.
- How long am I leaving for?
- For a week.
- Yeah, my mom wanted
the baby to go stay with her
in her nursery,
which she's like,
I just feel like it's better
that he's with family.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I don't know.
I just get nervous that, like,
she'll invite all of her
friends over
and then there's gonna be
so many people
and everyone's just gonna be
taking photos and videos of him
and posting him
on social media,
and I won't be there
to control it.
And that's gonna
really be stressful to me
because I know that someone
will sell it or something.
[scoffs softly]
- That's crazy.
- It's my life for a long time.
I'm used to it.
I feel so sad to have
to leave Phoenix at home
when I go on my book tour,
but he is just too little
to fly.
- Baby time.
- Yes.
I'm gonna change out of this
dress and wear something comfy.
With Phoenix,
I really hope that
we have an extremely
close relationship
like he can tell me anything.
Mama's boy,
I think they call them.
Yes, I want a mama's boy.
I think people sometimes
say that as a negative thing,
but now that I'm a mom,
I get it.
And I think
it's cute and sweet.
[chuckles]
Okay.
[Phoenix cooing]
- Does it make him stronger,
too,
because he's, like,
using his arms?
[Paris laughs]
Are you cute? Oh no!
[laughs]
- [laughs]
It's okay.
Hold.
- Come on. Hold.
[soft upbeat music]
- [laughs]
This looks ridiculous.
- Oops.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- I love you.
I don't want to go
but I have to,
but I'll be watching you
on the camera,
keep checking in with you,
and I'm going to rush home
as fast as I can.
And then Mama's gonna take a
week off to be with you, okay?
- [cooing]
- Aw.
Aw.
- [crying]
- Oh, one day, you will come.
- [crying]
- I know. I feel you, man.
- ♪ Giving my,
giving my everything ♪
- I love you.
It's okay.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- That's a very cute unicorn.
- Should I put it
above the bed?
- No.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
[Paris sighs]
♪ ♪
- How are you doing?
- Just freaking out.
I have so many interviews.
- Yeah, but you know
all the hosts
and you've done it
so many times now.
- Yeah, but I've always
went on there to talk
about fun things. And--
- [laughs]
- This is so serious
and so personal and...
I don't know.
I think this is just obviously,
like,
a lot of difficult subjects
to talk about.
I'm learning to talk
about hard things.
But it's a lot to talk about it
on live television
and all these different
talk shows and interviews.
I love doing these
closet confessionals
'cause I'm painfully shy.
I feel at home in here.
[chuckles softly]
Being around
all my sparkly things.
So cute.
Bunny.
- Are you still nervous
about "The View"?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- They just go there there.
It's not just like a show
where it's all fun and games.
- Yeah, they--
- Like, they are serious.
- They're a little chippy
on "The View,"
but they are so kind.
- No, not chippy.
I'm just saying, like,
they ask real questions.
So I just get nervous
because I'm so used
to playing the character
and being kind of like,
"Oh, that's hot," loves it.
- [laughs]
- But, like, I can't talk like
that in these interviews.
Like I have to show who I
really am, which is difficult.
When I get nervous or
feel uncomfortable,
my voice will go higher
and the things I'm talking
about are really important.
I just want
to be taken seriously.
I don't know
what's wrong with me.
I wish I could just, like,
enjoy the wins and all the
good things that happen.
It's just like
so much of my trauma,
like, steals my happiness.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[car horns honking]
- Paris, can I get
a picture with you?
Can I get a picture?
[camera shutters clicking]
[suspenseful music]
- The last time
I was on "The View,"
one of the people
on the show just
was not taking me seriously
and just making me
feel really insecure.
♪ ♪
And this time, I'm going on
to talk about something
so serious and so painful.
I don't want to be
put in the position
where this is going
to traumatize me
more than it already has.
- Yeah.
- Steam the dress.
But she's going to change
right now, yeah.
- It's so hot in here.
♪ ♪
- Break a leg.
- [chuckles]
- [sighs]
This is so exciting.
- I'm nervous.
[cheers and applause]
- This book is extraordinary.
- Thank you.
- And, you know, you've been
famous for most of your life.
But now this book,
you're discussing things
that no one,
not even your family,
was aware of until recently.
And so I want to ask you
why was now the right time
to tell this?
- I just feel that the media
has told my story
the past two decades,
and I just felt it was time
to just be real
and tell my story.
- Yeah.
- I always get nervous
going on that show,
but I'm so grateful
for Whoopi.
I just love her.
Certain shows I knew were
gonna be more difficult,
but I hate live interviews
on TV.
[laughs]
You talk to the person.
[sighs]
- I know.
[all cheering]
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Sanasa ♪
- ♪ Sanasa ♪
Who's leading this, guys?
all: ♪ Sanasa, sanasa ♪
[paparazzi chattering
indistinctly]
♪ ♪
- Five, four, three--
- Is Drew next?
- Yep.
- One more day in New York
and then home?
- Yep.
- I miss my baby.
- ♪ You are a queen
all day and all night ♪
♪ All day and all night ♪
- ♪ All day and all night ♪
♪ Na-na-na na-na-na-na ♪
- I'm really excited
to be at "Drew Barrymore."
We have a history with Drew.
She used to babysit us.
I knew it was really important
to Paris.
Usually, she doesn't
follow up or care,
but she called, texted,
said, "Will you please come?"
- Thank you for coming.
[soft upbeat music]
- I know.
- They looked crazy under it.
- [chuckles]
- It looks like I had like--
[laughter]
- [sighs]
- What do I do?
♪ ♪
[laughter]
- Put your hair--
- Do we have anything?
- Put one hair on that one.
- Massage them.
- It looks hot.
- What do we do?
- [laughing] I don't know.
- Warm 'em up. Warm 'em up.
- Okay, let's go.
- Looking through the looking
glass from the past, present,
you know, and into the future,
are you proud of who you are?
- Extremely proud.
I feel that I've been through
so much in life,
and I just feel
just really brave.
[cheers and applause]
- Paris!
[paparazzi chattering]
♪ ♪
- I'm so nervous
for all the interviews,
but everyone has just been
so respectful and so sweet,
and understanding, and--
- No one's been mean?
- No.
- Well, I think you're like
giving off that energy now,
like don't [bleep] with me...
- Mm-hmm.
- Or I will [bleep] you up.
- [laughs]
- I talk about you a lot.
- When I told Mom
I got the book,
she was like, "Read me
the parts with me in it.
Go to the back."
[Paris chuckles]
"Nicky was a
relentless tattletale,
except when she wanted
to come out with me."
[laughs]
- Yes.
- I was, like, all dressed
and then I got there
I was like, "No."
I saw the stress and the pain
that my parents went through
during Paris's
troubling times.
So I think probably
subconsciously,
there was a part of me
that really wanted
to just play by the rules
and not disappoint them,
not add any more stress
to their lives.
So what do you have
the rest of the day?
- "Watch What Happens Live."
- I'm gonna hop out
on the corner.
Okay, love you.
- Love you.
- Mwah.
- Thanks for coming.
- See you later, darling.
- See you. Bye.
- ♪ There's a million little
stars in the sky-hi-hi-hi ♪
♪ ♪
[phone ringing]
- Hi.
Hi, angel.
Phoenix, I miss you.
I love you.
[sighs]
- Aw, falling asleep?
[chuckles]
I love you, baby.
I miss you.
Bye, angel.
- Bye.
- Bye, baby. I love you.
[laughs]
[soft dramatic music]
[line trilling]
Hi.
Hi, honey.
-Sliving van, yes.
- What are you doing?
- Headed downtown to
"Watch What Happens Live."
- Oh, you are?
Okay.
- Reviewed the book?
- No, I know.
I said that to some interview.
They asked me,
"Did your parents know?"
She didn't know.
Yeah.
In the book,
I talk about when I was 14
and I was groomed
by my teacher.
I'm sure there's people
out there that are gonna say,
"Well, if her teacher
was doing this to her,
why would the parents
not do anything?"
So I think that that's
what she's concerned about.
♪ ♪
- No, I did not.
Are you kidding?
This is a private school.
I mean, no.
I think it's great
that Paris writes a book,
but I don't think
that Paris realizes
the effect that it can have
on the rest of the family.
She may have
signed up for this,
but not everybody else did.
- Well, hopefully, they won't
even bring anything up
because I don't
even want to get into it.
♪ ♪
I've been vulnerable to
literally millions of people
coming out
and telling my story.
It seems like
my mom's just mad
the way it makes her come off.
- Well, if I would
say about my mom, like,
she cares more
about herself than me,
then she's just going to be
like, "Why would you say that?"
- I think, yeah.
She worries about
what people think.
[energetic music]
- Hey, Paris.
- Love you.
- It's right over here.
- Hi.
- Hey. Hey, you two.
- Good to see you, honey.
[smooching]
- How are you?
- Amazing.
- Congratulations on the book.
- Thank you.
- Where's your man?
- He is at work.
- Oh, yeah, right.
That makes sense.
- Yeah.
- How's your mom?
- Tell her I said hello.
I love her.
- Mm-hmm.
All right. Okay, well,
thanks for doing it.
- I'm so protective of my mom.
I just don't want
to say anything
that's gonna upset her.
I've spent most of my life
worrying about
upsetting others,
but this is my story
and what I went through.
- Hey, everybody!
Look who's here! Paris Hilton!
[cheers and applause]
- ♪ I was born to fight ♪
♪ Born to run ♪
♪ Born to mo-mo-mo-move
faster than the sun ♪
♪ I was born to rise ♪
♪ Born to fall ♪
♪ Born to ge-ge-ge-get up ♪
- Hi.
- [laughing]
Wait until you see him.
- Hi, baby.
Hi, cutesy.
I love you.
Where's the smiley boy?
I'm so happy to be home
from the book tour.
I literally did, like,
a month's worth of interviews
into five days.
It was so stressful.
♪ ♪
Hi.
- Hi, baby.
- Phoenix.
- Yeah.
- Basically, talking about the
past, present, and my memoir.
- Have you talked to Mom?
[chuckles]
- Said she's not feeling well?
- I don't know.
That's what they said.
They're like, mom,
she wants to make sure
that you're ready
because she's not feeling well.
I know my mom
hates confrontation.
I am the exact same way.
So I thought today it was
almost like forcing us
to talk about the book again
because otherwise,
I know that I would never
bring it up again,
and neither would she.
I think it just
makes it a little bit easier
because we have producers
helping us move through it.
- Yeah, love you.
Bye.
Okay, it's stuck on the thing.
Oh.
Hi.
- [crying]
- Oh, no.
- [crying]
- What?
- He's tired?
- [crying harder]
- Oh, no.
Are you cranky?
- Oh, hi.
- [crying]
- Is my baby being fresh?
You are fresh.
Are you cranky?
- [crying harder]
- Okay, honey.
He's hot.
- He's cold?
- He is?
[dog barks]
- Okay, what's this?
What is this?
- [crying]
- All right.
What is this?
Aw, it's okay.
- [crying]
- Hi.
- It's okay.
- [crying]
- Do you just want
to go to sleep?
I love you.
- Oh, look what I have.
Oh, my goodness.
- [crying louder]
Okay.
- [crying]
- All right, sweetheart.
- Okay.
We're gonna go to sleep.
It's okay.
- [crying]
- Oh, he's such a fresh boy.
- Hey, guys,
ready for a podcast,
whenever you guys are.
- Do you mind if I wear
my hair up in a bun?
Does it look okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- Aw.
- Are you sure
you want to do this?
- I am the type that
I can be affected by something
and be all upset and whatever,
whatever,
and then I forgive
and I kind of forg--
I just throw it away.
Like, I don't--you know,
they say you don't recall pain.
I'm on to the new chapter.
I don't even really remember
how angry I was.
[soft dramatic music]
- [hums softly]
Yes.
♪ ♪
- So who's going to--
you're just gonna
ask me the questions?
- Mm-hm.
- Kathy, hi, I'm Bruce.
- Hi, Bruce.
- I work for Paris.
So we decided to change
the format of the podcast,
just sort of in the same way
with Paris's book
where she kind of talks
about all
the key moments in her life
that has led to today.
- I don't want to talk
about, like,
what was the most surprising
with the memoir
because there were so many,
and if I say one, I'm damned,
if I don't say the other--
I mean, I read it
and, yes, I was quite surprised
and shocked and--
♪ ♪
- Um--
Yeah, okay.
We really just want this
to be sort of a fun
sort of insightful conversation
into you
and your relationship
with Paris.
- All right.
- Ready?
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Hey, everyone.
I am back with my second
episode of "I Am Paris."
I am very excited
about today's guest.
You and your lip gloss.
[laughs]
- Whatever.
- Today, we have my mom.
What are you doing?
- I'm looking for my lipstick.
- You just put it on.
- No, but I had one lost.
Okay, just go on.
- Okay, you're moving around.
- Okay, sorry.
[smacks lips]
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Are you all glossed up?
- All ready.
- All right.
Today, I'm interviewing
someone very special.
Mom, the fan is
gonna make noise, right?
- Really?
[fan whirring]
- All right.
So first, we're gonna start
with some icebreaker questions.
[soft upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[chuckles]
Okay.
- I like to keep
the energy going.
♪ ♪
- Would you rather
hear the good news
or the bad news first?
- I don't like
hearing bad news.
Um...
but I guess I'd want to hear
the bad news first.
- And then the good news,
even though--
- Is there something
you're trying to tell me?
- No, I'm just reading
these questions from
this random question thingy.
- Paris, can you ask your mom
to ask you the questions?
- So do you have any questions
you want to ask me
from the cards?
- Okay, let's see.
What had the most influence
on you growing up?
- Just watching you
and dad together,
and just seeing just
this amazing partnership
and this relationship
and this love story,
and just always aspiring
to have that one day.
- And, you know, you can't
forget Patricia Field.
- What about her?
- [laughs]
She would come in second.
- Why?
Oh, with the inspiration just--
[laughter]
- Influenced me.
And I remember
getting those bills.
I don't shop there.
What is this?
What is my daughter doing?
What is going on?
At 15, I was like, no.
You would always wear
something, like,
normal kind of, and then
I guess you'd get
in the elevator
and it would roll down
on the hip,
and then I'd see pictures
of you the next day
and I was, of course,
horrified.
- Um, I guess--
no, not to there.
I don't even know
how to say that.
- Can you speak
just a little louder?
- If you wanted to go into the
memoir, you can get into that.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- I thought we were
not talking about that.
- You want to avoid that?
That's fine, yeah.
- When my mom sits quiet,
I know that she doesn't want
me to ask about the book.
But it's, like,
I'm your daughter.
[chuckling]
This is my podcast.
Like, I'm not out to get you.
♪ ♪
- If you wanted to go into the
memoir, you can get into that.
[suspenseful music]
- I thought we were
not talking about that.
- You want to avoid that?
That's fine, yeah.
♪ ♪
- Well, you know,
maybe I don't want to--
what's the word
when you don't want to
throw somebody under the bus
or exploit them?
- But speak up a little.
Have some personality.
- [chuckling]
Thanks. I'm tired.
[sighing]
Okay, all right.
[sighs]
I hope one day, my mom and I
will be able to get
real closure
about the secrets revealed
in my memoir.
But I don't know if that
next chance will happen
days from now or years
from now.
It hurts.
Well, I can't wait
for all the memories
we're gonna make together
with Phoenix.
- Yes.
- Love you.
- Love you.
- Perfect.
[indistinct chatter]
- Thank you.
- You were amazing.
- No.
- Right here, please.
Can you make sure
to get a close-up of my toes
because they're my favorite?
[laughter]
No, don't.
[laughter]
- Beautiful.
Three, two, and got it.
Thank you.
- Well, thank you, everybody.
- Okay.
- Oh, what do I wear?
Should I wear
a short minidress?
[laughter]
With go-go boots
and embarrass you?
- Please.
I'm headed back to DC
soon with Carter,
Nicky, and my mom
to continue my advocacy work
in the troubled teen industry.
Last year,
I was there as a lobbyist
promoting awareness,
but this time with the help
of my sponsors in the Senate,
I'm introducing
the Stop Institutionalized
Child Abuse Act
and asking
for bipartisan support.
I'm gonna wear, like,
baby blue maybe or turquoise.
- I would not wear turquoise.
- Why?
- She's got to be serious
and respectful.
- I've worn black every
single time I've went there.
- No, you look--
that's like a c*ck party.
- That's navy.
- It's too dressy.
Unless it's a c*ck party.
- No, I'm going to be on stage
at the Capitol building.
- Well, I guess you could,
but, I mean,
I would wear that for evening.
- But the turquoise
is not pretty?
- I see that entertaining
in Palm Beach.
I mean, this is serious.
- No, I know.
Last year when we were in DC,
it was really hard for my mom
because she hadn't seen
my documentary yet.
So the first time
she was hearing
all these horrible things
that happened to me
was when I was standing in
front of the Capitol building
giving my speech.
My parents were promised
that tough love would fix me.
I was forced to take medication
without a diagnosis.
Imagine if it was your child
who was suffering abuse.
[applause]
- Okay, let's go.
Was I a little uncomfortable
in front of all those senators
and Congress and cameras?
Uh, yeah.
I don't consider you a liar...
- [sighs]
- But I would think maybe
had you told me back then
that you were just
so desperate to get out
that maybe
you would exaggerate something.
- It's a huge shock to her.
She was grappling with the
reality of what happened to me
while I needed her support
without being defensive.
And it was really painful
just to hear
in such a public setting.
- Be very conservative
in navy or black.
- Great.
I, like, didn't even try
any of the black options on.
- You want to really
be taken serious.
- I know.
- Not a playgirl.
- [laughing]
A playmate. What?
[laughter]
- All right, love you, guys.
- Love you.
- Thank you, everybody.
It was fun.
- Thanks, Mom.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hello, how are you?
- Pretty good.
Ready for DC?
- Yes.
I need to start packing or
finalizing the packing for DC,
so what do you want me to add?
- If you could do
a pickup at Wolford
some fishnets,
and then on Valentino,
and the shoes that I love,
pink,
and holographic ones
that are really cool.
And then also from Chanel,
the light-up shoes were sick.
I can't wear any of this
in DC actually, so never mind.
- [laughs]
It might not be a good idea.
All right, P. So let me
just go and get started.
And then if you need
anything, just let me know.
- Perfect.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- I'll see you in a moment.
- See you in a bit.
[sighs]
- What's up, cutesy?
- Hi, babe.
- You're already packing again?
Didn't you just unpack?
- It's Groundhog Day.
[laughs] Every day.
- Are you excited?
- I'm really excited.
I'm nervous because
you know how
I get doing these speeches.
It's important stuff.
- It is very important stuff.
Your mom,
she's gonna be in DC.
- I got to talk
to my mom and my sister
before I went on my book tour.
I've been thinking
about it a lot
because that was the reason
I wanted to talk with them
before I left, just to
get that off my chest
and have that support from them
before I went
and spoke
with all these people.
And I didn't feel that way.
So it was just made it weird.
I just don't know if
it's possible for my mom
to have, like,
a serious conversation
because she just kept
kind of making me feel bad
about me being a bad kid.
- Paris, it was bad.
Look, I grew up in LA.
I grew up in Beverly Hills.
I'm used to a lot
of crazy stuff.
This was beyond.
You were like a-a wild animal.
It was crazy.
I would--
I would say you're an alien.
- And that's, like,
the whole reason
I never told her everything
that happened to me.
So I don't know, just--
- She's just probably,
like, you know,
it's hard as a parent.
Like, you want to
protect your daughter,
and there's stuff that
you write about in the book
that probably just
breaks her heart.
And she's probably
kind of processing.
- I know.
It's just in the last DC trip,
I was just so hurt
by how everything happened.
I just don't know
how she's gonna react.
Like, she's just
so unpredictable,
so I don't know if
I'm gonna get serious Kathy
or funny prankster.
And she's the type
that will be late.
- Yeah.
- This trip
is so important to me,
and I have so much to focus on.
The last thing I need to do
is worry about
what she's gonna be doing.
- I mean, you've been working
for this for 2 1/2 years.
You can't let her distract you.
- And I feel bad
because I don't want
to hurt her feelings.
[soft dramatic music]
I think it might be
a better idea
if I just tell her not to come.
♪ ♪
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