02x05 - Joe Black

[bunniefuu]

(Veronica doing vocal warm-ups)

(Veronica and Joe talking, indistinct)

(Joe screeching)

(Veronica singing)

(Joe screeching)

- Idiot check! Idiot, check.

(onstage clamoring)

- You're gorgeous. In't she stunning?

Late, but stunning.

(mystical music)

- [Lawrence] Welcome everyone

to the "Rupaul's Drag
Race UK" season two tour!

(audience cheering)

- It's show time!

(sinister laughing)

(thumping club music)

(audience hollering)

- [Awhora] We probably won't
ever all be together again.

This is the only time
we can say thank you.

- Oh my God, I saw ball.

- [Bimini] We're selling
out every place we go,

and they're getting to
see drag at the finest.

- Fancy a slice?

- It's gonna be a wild show.

- [Cherry] It's amazing.

- Do you feel like Tommy Lee?

(fans giggling)

- I've never been involved in
a production this big before.

- [Ellie] The best drag
show you're gonna see.

(camera shutters clicking)

- [Sister] We all know
it's gonna be incredible.

How many people get to
experience this? It's crazy.

We should all feel very, very, very lucky.

[Audience] "God Shave the Queens!"

(audience cheering)

- Each show, I'm trying
to catch everybody.

So I'll get ready either later or earlier,

so I can make sure I get
to see absolute everyone

on the bloody show.

Now tonight's night is Ginny.

- Working class as f*ck, DJ, hit it!

(mellow pop music)

♪ My overdraft ♪

♪ I am over my overdraft ♪

(audience cheering)

How are you, love?

I fancy a slice!

- [Ginny] Is it cash in hand?

- My name is Joe Black

and I am three owls in a trenchcoat.

(offscreen assistant laughing)

Hoot hoot.

(thumping techno music)

(choreographer instructing, indistinct)

- This is the first time
we've all been together

at the same time.

And it's wild, 'cos there
was pretty much a year

between the filming
and the actual release.

And then another year
later we do the tour.

It was amazing to be part of a the,

such a revered cast.

- [Producer] All right, boys.

So they're gonna play it
from Joe's intro video.

- [Joe] Right, I've seen this.

(baroque classical music)

(big band jazz music)

(excited gasping)

- I know what you're thinking.

God, Glenn Close looks rough.

(Joe cackling)

- [Ginny] Yes, b*tch!

(queens cheering)

I am the international
cabaret sensation, Joe Black.

- [Tia] Come on, crystal ball.

- Stunning. Stunning!

(queens hollering)

- [Joe] The whole reason
I did "Drag Race,"

(upbeat pop music)

it wasn't for like,
you know, sponsor posts

or ads or campaigns.

Like I didn't, I just wanted to do shows

and to be able to reach
a, a larger audience

but still carrying on doing, doing me.

'Cos otherwise what was the,

what's the point in going on it?

If you're not, you
know, gonna go on as you

and then come out a heightened,
bigger version of yourself?

My dad stopped asking me if I'm-

"So how long do you reckon
you could do this for?"

So that was nice.

What else happened?

I did a video for H&M.

That was quite fun.

(tense music)

(whispering) H&M.

- If it is from H&M, you better
glitter the f*ck out of it

and make it something special.

I don't wanna see any f*cking H&M.

- That wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Well, do you know what hasn't happened?

Alan Cumming still won't
reply to me on Instagram DMs.

Alan Cumming messaged Cherry Valentine,

because people said that Cherry Valentine

looked like Alan Cumming.

She doesn't even know who the man is!

And he won't even reply to me, b*stard!

Alan! Call me.

(production team whooping and clapping)

- I've never been involved in
a production this big before.

Sometimes I've done events
and stuff and I've like,

"Oh, I feel, feel so
special and rock starry"

but nothing, you know,
not compared to this.

How many people get to experience this?

It's crazy.

We should feel all feel
very, very, very lucky.

Hello? Oh, there we are.

(Joe singing mockingly into mic)

(production crew speaking, indistinct)

Tell mother what you know!

- [Crew] We're just gonna
drop the level on your mic.

- So if, as long as it's
still loud enough on stage.

- [Crew] Yeah. Oh, we'll
match it to what it was.

- Cool.

- [Crew] It's just 'cos
you're pretty powerful.

- Screaming is what you mean.

- [Crew] Well, if you
wanna be technical, yeah.

- Yeah.

(catchy pop music)

I'm excited to-

I'm nervous, but in like a-

I want it, it's gonna be fantastic.

And it's just getting that
first hurdle out of the way,

isn't it?

We all know it's gonna be incredible.

It's just doing it that
first time and going,

it is what we all thought it was gonna be.

(Joe rehearsing vocals)

Well, I thought, you know what?

I'm never gonna have dancers again.

What's something I enjoy that has dancers?

And you know what does?

Cabaret. So I thought,

well, if I've got a chance
for a big production,

I'm going for a big musical.

But you know, I've kept
telling people that, you know,

I was the cabaret one.

So I might as well do
something from "Cabaret."

You know? It makes sense, doesn't it?

But it's nice to be here.

It's nice to get out the house.

Yeah.

- [Crew] Nice one.

- Quite aggressive.

- Joe, I love Joe, Joe's quite fabulous.

(posh accent) "Hello, it's me.

International drag cabaret, Joe Black!"

(sinister laughing)

- [Lawrence] I love Joe.

She's daft as a f*cking bag of frogs.

Bag of frogs?

- Joe Black is mad as a box of frogs,

like absolute nutcase
and love him to pieces.

(Joe hooting into mic)

- Joe sort of like,

has a niche and an energy that gives you,

sort of like, like a
haunted Victorian ghost.

- [Asstina] I love, like a,

she's the little witch, little
Glenn Close that she is.

- [Cherry] Joe's one of
the most kookiest people

I've ever met.

Literally like a 60 year old
woman inside of Joe Black.

There, there is a 60 year old woman

living inside of Joe Black.

- [Lawrence] I do think Joe
might be lying about his age,

because I think Joe is about 105 though,

but she's just an amazing performer.

- I've been going to Joe's
shows for a long time

and I will continue going to Joe's shows,

like Joe is-

Chef's kiss.

(melancholy piano music)

♪ Oh come back darling ♪

♪ I'm here to haunt you ♪

♪ It's Joe Black ♪

♪ Nice to see you ♪

♪ And guess what, the camp witch is back ♪

♪ Here for my close up ♪

♪ I'm with my girl band Zig-Ah-Zig-Ah ♪

♪ Know what you're thinking ♪

♪ Glenn Close but no cigar ♪

(offscreen laughing)

(catchy RnB music)

- Well, I started in 2007,

doing sort of like cabaret style sets,

but in, in music shows.

So I would always consider myself like a,

more of a cabaret performer.

And drag was the, was an
eventual aesthetic that I,

I made my way to.

My aesthetic's quite clowny,

which forgives all manner of, of sins.

You know, you can say
and do things that are,

you know, socially unacceptable.

(harmonica tooting)

- [Crew] Uh-oh, Joe's gone crazy.

(harmonica tooting)

- [Lawrence] Sorry, do
you mean more crazy?

- [Crew] Yeah.

- Is it funnier with two or-

- [Lawrence] Joe, have
four. More the merrier.

- One?

- This week, how much whiskey
has Joe Black consumed?

We can assume a lot-

(harmonica tooting)

This is the clown that actually shows up

at your birthday party
and ruins your birthday.

- I am here to have a lovely time.

(whimsical music)

For me, it's not really a character thing.

It's just like a heightened
version of myself.

I mean, it's my, my actual
name as well, but it's,

there's an element of kind of, chaotic-

impish nature I guess.

(Joe muttering, indistinct)

Not being rude to people, of course,

but being a, a little more on the, on the,

on the bizarre side and people go,

"Oh, look at him. In't
he a silly b*stard?"

- (posh accent) Hello, it's me,

international drag cabaret
sensation Joe Black!

(sinister laughing)

- (posh accent) International
cabaret sensation.

- (posh accent) Joe, tell them-

- They all just take the piss out of me!

I, I don't understand why!

[Lawrence] - It's showtime!

- Yeah!

(queens laughing)

It's show time!
- I believe

Lawrence, it actually goes-

It's show time!

(sinister laughing)

- That'll be in the advert.

(Ellie and Ginny laughing)

- So yeah, there's sort of
a heightened chaos to it,

but it's not, I'm not
becoming someone else.

I mean, people always joke
that out of the makeup,

I look exactly the same anyway.

So, got a bit of sparkle
on, got my cigarette holder.

Alright. Joe's in drag again.

There's no cigarette in this.

The children, we got to set good example.

And one of the things I like
about wearing big, big costumes

is when you're acting like an
idiot while looking like that,

it's even funnier.

Oh, thank you. Where's the boa?

That's the expensive bit-

- Okay.

- [Joe] There's something
I think inherently funny

about someone taking glamor so seriously.

Where's my 300 pounds of dead ostrich?

Yeah, it was about that
much money actually.

- [Lawrence] Ethically, did
you get the ethically sourced-

- You can't get ethically sourced
f*cking ostrich, everyone-

- Yes, you can.

You can get loads of ostriches
that just had heart attacks.

- People go, "Oh, it's
ethically sourced feathers."

Like, do you think those birds want

some f*cking middle-aged man to chase them

and pull them off?

- [Asstina] Yeah.

- Of course they're not-

Are you-

- [Asstina] People like it-

- [Joe] They should
pull you off, don't you?

- [Asstina] Darling, middle-aged
men do chase me, darling.

- [Joe] Right, okay everyone, bye.

I am a middle-aged man.

And I've got about 30 minutes
till I need to go back on.

Can you really take complete
glamor seriously? I don't know.

There's, there's a campness to it

'cos it's just all of this like serious,

like unattainable glamor.

And there'll be a little kind of like, oh!

I can't, I like it because
it's f*cking stupid.

Someone all in jewels
and, and furs and, ugh.

Clowns. Love it.

Glamor.

(distant audience cheering)

Elizabeth Taylor got nothing
on me. Do you know why?

'Cos she's dead.

(producer and crew laughing)

(fast pop music)

(Joe warbling)

You keep that shot there, wait.

I'll be back in a second.

The seaside attracts weirdos,
which is what I like.

I dunno what it is. The kind of,

most eccentric dregs of
society go to the seaside

and I am one of those dregs.

(shopping trolley rattling)

I've gone to the shops and I've got-

f*ck all!

(shopping trolley rattling)

(fast-paced synth music)

(dressing room banter, indistinct)

Stick in my bag?

- [Asstina] Around the bag.

- [Joe] What's this,
your set in my bloody-

You!

- [Asstina] How are you feeling, Joe?

- You know, I was like,
oh, I'm gonna go downstairs

and say hello to Lawrence and Cherry.

So I don't get dressed too early.

And Cherry is fully dressed
and it's given me the fear now.

So I've come to get entirely dressed.

So I think being with the two of you

has given me a false sense of security,

even though we have all
the time in the world-

- [Asstina] Right? So what are we doing?

- I'm going to put on
the outfit that takes me

about 15 seconds to put on out of fear.

- [Tia] Why don't you put it on 15 seconds

before you have to go as a challenge?

- No, I can't do that.

- Speak, speaking of,

how much makeup has thrown the kick off?

- [Asstina] Ah!

- This show is like, you get the snapshot

of who everyone is.

So I wanted to do
something that people go,

that makes sense.

I don't think drag is
a, a performance genre

because there are drag people that do

every manner of things.

You know, singers,
dancers, poets, it's, it's

it's merely an aesthetic.

I think, I don't think it,
it can just be one thing

but I have like a specific
kind of vibe in mind.

Like people always say, they
go, "Oh, you're so cabaret."

Yes. Well that's the, that's
what I want to embody.

- [Lawrence] Make some noise
for the incomparable Joe Black!

(audience cheering)

(big band jazz music)

- Hello Worcester!

(sinister cackling)

This one, it's, it's like
classic bump-papa-bump-papa-bump-

It's the right vibe.

I was originally gonna
do a villain megamix

and go through all, like,
the big villain songs.

But I wasn't sure how to
include the dancers on that one.

'Cos I've never had dancers before.

And I was, I didn't wanna use
them for the sake of them.

I wanted something that would-

Benefit a song that I enjoyed,

not just going and it
all benefits each other.

Like, they all look great,
'cos I'm being silly doing this

and I will look great 'cos
they're beautifully framing,

or they're like assisting,
like lifting me up

and all of that stuff, you know,

screaming at lovely dancer
boys to pick you up.

Let me down!

Let me down!

I quite like it when stuff
goes to a, to a degree,

like falling through
the stage is not a chaos

you can control, but
forgetting like one line,

I've forgotten the words.

I'm so sorry.

(audience laughing)

There's something quite
thrilling about standing

in front of 3000 people and going,

"Oh, I f*cked that up, didn't I?"

It's, it's, it's nice little,

I don't wanna say human moments.

'Cos I'm up there looking
like a f*cking glamor clown

in front of 3000 people.

But I think if I tried
to ignore it and gone-

(awkward mumbling)

It would've been more awkward.

People then go "Aw!"

But you don't want them
to feel sorry for you.

They need to fear you!

(audience cheering)

(touching music)

I think what I'll take away from this is,

is how lucky we are
and how wonderful it is

that we got to be part
of such a big production.

'Cos then I, I, you know,
I'll go back to doing,

you know my, my shows,
but then maybe in, in,

in future to, is to aspire,
to have that level of set

and all of that because
I've got a taste of it now.

- [Lawrence] Make some noise
for the incomparable Joe Black!

(audience cheering)

- [Producer] Do you see
yourself doing it forever?

- I think act, you know, the
act will naturally develop

but I think, you know, I'm,

I'm just gonna continue
doing what interests me.

I had no aspirations to be,

like a serious actual
musical theater person.

Like I specifically was like, right.

I want dodgy, cabaret clubs,
people drinking c*ck,

being a chaotic little twat
and I genuinely really love it.

(audience cheering)

I wanna be Joan Rivers.

Like not specifically exactly Joan Rivers,

but I want to go till the, the end.

And I think I'm interested to
see what I'll look like at 70

doing this.

Ooh, it's gonna be grim.

(audience hollering)

(upbeat synth music)