[jaunty piano music]
- [Ellie] Gwen and
I weren't expecting
to inherit loving tributes.
- [Dean] I'm an entertainer:
actor, singer, dancer.
- I'm a Virgo, so
great on a budget.
- [Woman] We're renovating.
- You've got asbestos.
- [Gwen] Mom thinks
that you are depressed.
- How would mum know? She
doesn't answer my calls.
- You and I, we're
gonna be partners.
- [Gwen] I bought
my flights to Bali.
- I was just gonna
maybe ask you out.
- Ben, I don't love
you. Please move out.
Just whenever you're ready.
- You can do it on your own.
- I know.
Koro taught me how and
I don't think he'd mind
that I used the company
card to pay for my flights.
[fist thuds]
[Woman grunts]
[phone alarm music]
[upbeat music]
[body bags zip]
[fax machine whirs]
[ketchup squelches]
So, how tall are you?
Do you own a house?
Do you want kids?
♪ Talking smack
then take it back ♪
♪ Then wonder if you can ♪
♪ Get up and walk out ♪
Is there baldness on your
mother's father's side?
It's genetic.
♪ For a moment ♪
♪ You've been
painting pictures ♪
Any preexisting
medical conditions
that I should know about?
If you had to say,
who's more important,
your girlfriend or your mum?
If you were in Harry Potter,
which house would you be in?
Everyone says Gryffindor
but I'm thinking
Hufflepuff for you.
♪Now we're older are we
even part of the scene♪
[phone rings]
- Koto Loving Tributes,
this is Ellie speaking.
Oh, I am sorry to
hear that, Diane.
I'm sure we can help you
make some arrangements.
Where is your husband now?
So the accident took
both of his legs?
Okay.
Okay.
- [Man] Good morning, Katrina.
Yes. Well, thank you.
And you?
- Um.
- Yes Katrina, I'm calling
because we received delivery
of your 6x3, 75 mL automatic
air fresher canisters.
- And you're sure you
want to do open casket?
- Well, I believe we
ordered sea breeze
yet what I'm smelling
is distinctly floral.
- [Ellie] I understand.
- No Katrina, it is not
geranium. It's sickly
- Well, we do have
smaller caskets
but I'm afraid he might
be a little broad.
- Yeah, I know what I ordered.
I have the invoice.
- No, we don't do half caskets.
- MQ.
What?
- I'm just-
a little worried
he might look like
one of those magic tricks.
- Once. M for Meryl Streep.
No there's no S.
- Why don't we just pencil
in a day for the service?
[playful music]
How about Wednesday?
- M-Q-1-7-R-P
- No. Friday?
- P
- No. Okay. Saturday?
- Please hurry up.
The point is it's definitely
not Sableman breeze, Katrina.
- These things can be
time sensitive Katrina-
Sorry. Sorry, Diane.
- So unprofessional.
Yes. I'll hold.
[man hums to jazzy hold music]
- Sorry. I'm just having
a little bit of
trouble hearing you.
Why don't I give
you a call back?
- Okay. Katrina.
No, thank you.
These things happen.
- Okay. Bye.
- Okay. Goodbye.
Well, they're gonna
send us a free canister.
Coconut. We'll see how it goes.
Shall we?
[upbeat piano music]
This is from the Smiths.
They were very happy with
their service the other day.
Yeah.
- The Smiths?
Who were they? The Herbivores?
- The vegetarians.
- What did I do for them?
- [Ellie] I don't know.
- Samosas?
I might have done blue cheese.
Did I do blue cheese?
- I don't know.
- Oh God. We've been so busy.
I can't remember.
- So this is a few things that-
- I'll go.
So some notes on.
- Okay. Well then you go.
- I'll start on the
pretzels, if that's good.
- Uh, just a reminder
not to congregate
at the back of the chapel
during busy services.
And we do need to keep
those fire exits clear.
- Can I have the chutney?
- Yeah. We've got another
two services this week
so we're expecting big numbers.
Please be prepared.
Be mindful.
- Just keep energy up.
It might be a hundred
times that we've done this,
but for some in the audience
it might be their first funeral.
- Yeah. Also pay week this week.
So get your receipts in
and I can reimburse you.
- We can, we can reimburse you.
- Yeah. Also Hemi's
portrait is nearly finished
and we'll be hanging
that in the office.
- Do you guys know that
you can get ashes, right?
And get them turned into like
jewelry like diamonds and stuff.
So we could do that to Hemi.
You know, get an earring.
- Yeah. Or just one
like George Michael.
- No, we- we're
not doing jewelry.
Can we focus please, team?
We've got important
things to get through.
Dean.
- Yes. Thank you.
Paper towels in the bathroom.
We are going through
them at a rate of knots.
So let's remember it
is shake first thusly
and then one
towelette each please.
- Asparagus rolls.
[whimsical piano music]
- [Dean] Sorry?
- That's what I fed the
Smith's. Asparagus rolls.
[Ellie sighs]
[toilet flushes]
[toilet gurgles]
[Ellie yelps]
- Can I help you?
Hello?
You're not blinking.
Are you real?
- Oh, there you are.
Thank Christ.
- We were just having
fun, weren't we?
- I just gave Dean the
USB with the photos.
- You've got my number.
So just text me if you need
anything else before tomorrow.
- Thanks. All right,
come on, Missy.
Gotta stop wandering off
before you get kidnapped
and you'll die.
- Okay.
- And that's why I do pro bono
eye surgeries for refugees.
- Wow. That is terrific.
How tall did you say you were?
- Uh, six foot.
- And do you rent or own?
- Oh um,
I got in at a good time.
I have a place in town and
a couple on the waterfront.
- Impressive.
- So what do you do?
- Um, I'm a businesswoman.
I'm in dispatch.
- Oh yeah? How'd
you get into that?
- Have you ever been arrested?
[nervous chuckling]
I'm just...
But have you?
- No.
- Cool. Just checking.
Um, did you wanna
share a dessert?
I've kind of an eyeing up the-
- [Both] Chocolate
fudge brownie.
- Yeah.
Okay.
I think we'll do it.
The chocolate fudge
brownie, please.
- To share.
- [Waiter] Perfect,
coming right up guys.
- You're really beautiful.
[nervous chuckle]
Um,
what are you up to this weekend?
- I've got cricket on Saturday,
but I'm free on Sunday.
- Cricket?
Are you filling in?
- No our team made the semis.
- Oh, that's, so it's
pretty serious then.
- We're a social team,
but we like to win.
- So you'll keep
it up for a while.
- If my body lets me.
[uptempo whimsical music]
- Those are really long games.
I wonder if they've
started making the brownie.
- [Woman] So, was he a winner?
- Oh, cute. But no.
Plays cricket.
- Oh, no wiggle
room on that one?
- 90 minutes is
my max game time.
- Ugh the new florist
just can't get
these arrangements right.
- Hold on.
You don't think these boys
deserve a second date?
- Why waste my time
when I already know
it's not gonna work.
- They might surprise you.
- Don't like surprises.
- You have a leak.
- Oh.
Hi Trisha.
- In the bathroom.
- Is it bad?
- Not yet.
- Okay. Well, I'll
deal with it later.
- Well I am crossing my
fingers for you, Ellie.
I have a good feeling
about your next date.
- Why are you holding that?
- It's a date!
- That that's a prune.
- Ha.
Well, I have made
prune scones then.
[classical piano music]
- Oh my God!
Why is everyone
creeping up on me?
Hello again.
Sorry to hear about
your granddad.
You look nice in black.
That's my granddad
inside that urn.
He died and then we burned him
and now he's just in
lots of tiny bits.
You like this stuff don't you?
That's why you're following me.
You know, not everyone
can handle death.
Wanna see something really cool?
Look.
[child screams]
Shh, it's all
right, it's alright.
It's okay, hun.
It's okay. It's okay.
Um, sorry.
- There you are.
It's okay, baby.
What are you doing here?
- I-I was just wondering
the same thing.
- This is not a place for kids.
- Exactly. Yeah.
That's just what I said
just before you walked in.
- [Dean] And a time for
every matter, under heaven
a time to be born,
and a time to die.
- Turn around.
- A time to plant,
and a time to pluck up
what has been planted.
A time to embrace
and a time to
refrain from embrace.
[flatulence sound]
- Ah, sorry sorry.
- A time to seek.
- What are you doing here?
- Did you just do a fright fart?
- And a time to lose.
[Ellie shushes]
- When did you get back?
- Just now. Stop trying
to cover up your fart.
- You didn't tell me
you were coming back.
- Yeah. Can I have
your house keys?
- Wha- I- I'm so confused.
- I'll explain later.
Can I have your keys?
- A time to keep
silence. Thank you.
- You've got a fringe.
- Yeah. Give me your house keys.
- But I've got a fringe.
- No, that's a
clip in situation.
- I was gonna get it cut,
I was just testing it out.
Now I can't get one.
- Why?
- Because we already
look the the same.
- No, you look
heaps older than me.
- Go in the office
we'll be finished soon.
- Fine.
- It's nice to see you.
- Yeah.
- Mmm you smell like sunshine.
- You smell like fart.
- Shh.
- Hurry up okay? Cause
I really wanna go home.
- And may you believe in
the courage of yourself.
Thank you.
May you walk gently
through the world
[suitcase clangs]
May they never part from
the beating of your heart.
[suitcase clangs]
- [Sister] f*ck.
Let us pray.
[suitcase clangs]
- [Sister] Get it, girl.
- I still can't
believe you're here.
I just saw a photo of
you eating breakfast
off a floating tray.
- Yeah. Yesterday
I was in paradise
and today I'm here.
- How come you didn't tell
me you were coming home?
- Well, I wanted to
surprise everyone.
So I went straight to
mum's from the airport,
but when I got there,
she wasn't home.
And there was an old man
standing in the kitchen
wearing nothing but a towel.
- How old?
- Oh, at least 50.
I could see the outline of
his c*ck. It was disgusting.
- Okay is that relevant?
- Yeah, I think it's
pretty relevant.
If there's a foreign
schlong in my house.
- It's mum's house.
And that schlong probably
belonged to her boyfriend.
- Mum doesn't have a boyfriend.
She would've told me.
He's clearly a one night stand
who has overstayed his welcome.
He was using the blender.
I'm not going back down
there 'til he's gone.
- Put that back it's Dean's.
- Can I please have your keys?
Cause I'm- I'm so
tired and I need a nap.
- [Ellie] What
happened to the DJ'ing?
- I was wondering
the same thing.
- No, don't worry. I don't
want my half back or anything.
- Well you can't have it back.
- Good.
[whimsical piano music]
- Where'd your friend go?
- I thought I heard a Gwen.
- Sheza!
Oh my god you're pretty!
- You look really
pretty today Sha-
- Oh, thanks.
Where did your fringe go?
- Oh it was just a clip in.
- Hey, you're still
in your bikini.
- Yeah. Can you not wear
your togs here please?
- Do not jiggle my
tit here please.
Where's Beau?
- Working because he has a job.
- He's gone to the crematorium.
- Cool. Okay.
Well I would like
to go now please.
Can you order me an Uber?
They don't pick me up anymore.
- [Ellie] Oh, wait downstairs.
And I'll take you
home in a minute.
- Oh, I'll help you with that.
- No, no, no, Sharon,
you're preg- pretty.
You're too pretty.
[Gwen laughs]
[suitcase clangs]
My bad.
- Is this about Gwen?
I had no idea she
was coming back.
- Well, you two were
very distracting.
I was in the middle
of a monologue.
- That must have been
frustrating for you.
So I'm sorry.
- I accept your apology.
Will Gwen be a
problem going forward?
- Absolutely not.
[door knocks]
- That leak's getting worse.
- Leak? What leak?
I wasn't told about a leak.
- Oh, darn. Right.
- [Trish] Do you have insurance?
- [Ellie] Yes.
- I didn't.
Took the kids to Euro Disney
and Goofy pushed me
in front of a float.
Eight grand to fix these wrists
and Winnie just laughed.
- Oh.
- See what I can do.
- In other news,
I've mocked up some
business cards.
- Oh, Good Funeral Services.
- Oh I'm just trying it out.
Thought we could do
with a bit of a rebrand.
- Without me.
- Well, Good-Dolce
Funeral sounds a bit-
- No. Dolce is my stage name.
Here, I'm Dean Fish.
- What so? Good-Fish Funerals?
- Could be Fish-Good Funerals.
- We can park that.
I was also thinking
the website could do
with a bit of an update.
- Oh, it's more about
social media these days.
- I will pop that
on my list as well.
- Well, just in the future,
can we make it office policy
that any strategic
decisions made
about Loving Tributes are
signed off by both owners?
- I acknowledge that concern.
Also, could we make it
office policy not to make
phone calls when another staff
member is already on a call?
- Okay.
Could we make it office policy
to always tie our hair back?
Because when some
staff members wear
their long mousey hair out,
I found it can clog
out the vacuum cleaner.
- Hmm. Can we also make it
office policy to park straight
in between the lines?
- Wow.
Okay. Can we make it office
policy to do a courtesy flush?
Cause someone here
has a stubborn stool.
[gravel crunches]
- Can I have a drag?
- Jesus. You still work here?
- Yeah, well.
They just got me back.
Took the crew ages to get
rid of all the asbestos.
Odds are I've inhaled some.
- [Gwen] Here you
go. Inhale this.
- I haven't had a
ciggy in six years.
- sh*t. Do you want me
to try and stop you?
Okay.
I'm gonna pretend like
you didn't tell me that.
Why are you drenched?
- It's toilet water
- [Gwen] Beau!
- And now I'm really wet.
- Okay, bye Trisha.
- Hey.
- Hey, when?
- Surprise!
[nervous laughter]
Hi.
Give you a hug.
It's good to see you.
- You too.
So you like a big time DJ now?
- Yeah. My limo is
parked around the corner.
I basically only came
here to tell you guys
that I'm so famous I'll
probably never see you again.
- Right, well, I mean I
could be your chauffer.
- I'll have to talk to my
manager. He's real protective.
- Sweet.
You, uh...
You never messaged me back.
- Yeah. Sorry.
I got, I got kind of homesick.
- Is that why you're-
- How's Frankie doing?
- Uh.
Yeah. Yeah. She's good.
I actually don't
get to see her much.
Career was made redundant,
so just been picking up
work where I can, you know?
Street sweeping, fruit
picking, dog walking.
- Well, I know Trisha would
pay you good money for a route.
Oh hey Trisha, don't
litter. Come on.
- Global warming.
It's all gonna burn anyway.
- God I've missed her.
So do you wanna hang out?
- Uh. When?
- Well like now or
later or whenever.
- Um, I'm actually
at the orchard.
- Yeah
- This afternoon.
- That's all good.
- Hey Beau. Gwen I'm going.
- I'll see you later.
- [Beau] See you later.
- Oh my bag. See you.
[whimsical piano music]
[engine revs]
- [Ellie] Push the button.
- Like open it?
Just pop it. Pop
it with the button.
- [Ellie] Push the button.
- Push.
Oh yeah. I can do it.
Okay.
- Home sweet home.
- [Gwen] Oh, how is
that still standing?
- Be careful with
your suitcase please.
Probably haven't
seen my new place.
I've really made it my own.
It's my sanctuary.
- It looks like a show home.
- Thank you.
- No thank you for
giving me permission
to dance like
nobody is watching.
[water running]
- Aroha. Am I right?
- Okay.
[Gwen gasp]
- Ellie!
- [Ellie] What?
- It's that simple!
Why do I take antidepressants
when I could just live
life with passion?
- Okay.
- Ooh, earthy.
Hello.
Ellie.
- What?
- My period pain, it's gone.
- All right, that's enough.
- Oh sh*t.
What is that?
Please don't say
it's a vision board.
- It's my vision board.
- Oh my God.
Hell no I need, I need a ciggy.
- What happened to your vape?
- Everyone smokes in Bali.
It's like $3 a pack.
- Well, you can't smoke here
and definitely
nowhere near Sharon.
- So she is pregnant.
- Yes.
- I knew it.
She's quite far along.
Wait, does she know
she's pregnant?
- She knows.
She just doesn't like
to talk about it.
- What happened to your staff?
I swear you had more.
- What happened
to your DJ decks?
- I sold them to
buy my ticket home.
- How did you spend
all your money?
Bali is famously cheap.
- Not when you have a pool,
and a masseuse, and a chef.
I need a snack.
What have you got?
- I can't believe you've
spent all your money.
[knock on door]
- Your mailbox hit my car.
Came outta nowhere and
took out my wing mirror.
It's in a really bad place.
You should reposition it.
It's on the ground
now so you can.
Any who I'm not
paying for the damages
so I'm gonna need your insurance
details and your license.
Where's Gwen?
- Hi mom.
[vase clatters]
- Mom!
- Baba! Come come!
Oh I missed you.
- I missed you too!
- Look at your tan
you sexy thing.
How come you didn't let me
know you were coming home?
- I wanted to surprise you.
- I would've picked you
up from the airport.
- There was a man
in your kitchen.
- Yeah. It's Stu.
- Ew gross. Why
was he making Stew?
- His name's Stu.
- What kind of name is Stu?
- Stu like short for Stewart.
- Oh, right. Yeah.
That is a name.
Well, what was he
doing in the house?
- He lives there.
- Like a flat mate?
- Like a boyfriend.
- Told you.
- Thank you darling.
- And why didn't you tell
me you had a boyfriend?
- Well, I was going to tell
you when you came home.
- Well I'm home.
So you're gonna have
to kick him out.
- I'm not kicking him out.
Stu's great. You're
gonna love him.
- So you're kicking me out?
- No!
Like it's just, there's not
a lot of space at the moment.
So we moved your
bed into the garage
so Stu could have an office.
- Are you kidding
me? He's in my room.
Did he touch my Tamagotchi's?
- What? I don't know.
- Mom, look, I really
didn't wanna have to do this
but
it's me or Stu.
- Stu.
- Oh my God, that was so fast.
- [Mum] Gwen, we are together.
You should have
given me more notice
and I could have
made up the couch.
- I'm not sleeping on the
couch in my own f*cking house.
What about the guest room?
- It's for the guests.
Well, you could sleep
here with your sister.
That'll be fun.
- What?
- Hell no
- Excuse me, sorry.
Do I get a say?
- Have you sent the
insurance details yet?
- I've been here
literally the whole time.
- This is a real kick
in the clam, mum.
- Gwen, you're tired,
just go and have a nap.
- Yeah, sleep here.
We'll work everything
out another time.
- No, I mean at your house.
- This place sucks. She
never has any nice snacks.
- Don't make her
anything too spicy.
- I'm not cooking for her
because she's not staying here.
- She gets a funny tummy.
I love you Gwen.
- What is happening?
- [Mum] I love you!
- If he's touched my
Tamagotchi's he's dead.
Also, can you wash these?
They're wet.
[uptempo whimsical music]
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