02x03 - Tragedy Plus Time

[bunniefuu]

- Hm.

Interesting stuff.

[door opens]

Kodo.

- Sorry. I'm late.

- It's okay.

You can get changed

behind that screen.

Get you to put this on

and you can put your

stuff down there.

[bag clutters]

Exciting.

All right.

Whenever you're ready.

[gentle piano music]

- So where you guys from?

- Shh shh

- Sorry.

[gentle piano music]

- And change pose, please?

[gentle piano music]

Beau, do you wanna finish your

meal before we continue?

- Please. I didn't

eat lunch yet.

Oh!

- [Student] Ah, man,

I'd already drawn that.

- Oh, sorry.

[intro classical music]

- I'm not missing Muay

Thai for you again.

You need to get up on time.

- Hey, can you

please go by mums?

I need to drop something off.

- Oh, Gwen. We're

already running late.

- It'll take one second.

- What's that smell?

- Hey, how does Dean feel

about me coming back?

- I'm sure he won't mind.

It's only part-time.

- Cool costume.

- I know it's for Michelle's

gender reveal party tomorrow.

It's a masquerade.

- That is the dumbest

thing I've ever heard.

Wait, Michelle, the teacher?

- Yeah.

- You hate her.

- I do not.

This is an event you

want to be invited to.

- Her husband plays--

- Her husband plays

for the all blacks,

yeah, I know.

- Did you step in

something cause?

- Left here?

- Yeah, I know how

to get to mum's.

[door knocks]

- Go, go, go.[pants]

[car engine roars]

- Was that sh*t?

- That's for me to know

and you to find out.

Go!

- She's distracting. She's

dangerously unprofessional.

And you agreed not to make

any decisions without me.

- I acknowledge your concerns,

but you said it yourself.

It's all about social

media these days.

And Gwen knows social media.

- You trying to make Macbeth me?

- No.

- You two want the throne.

- No, I want you and me

on the throne together.

The king and queen

of good funerals.

- Good fish funerals.

- We can talk about that.

The point is Gwen

is just a peasant

telling the other peasants

to like and subscribe.

- You haven't seen

Macbeth, have you?

- No.

- Well, I'm not convinced.

- Okay.

Oh, Gwen wanted me to ask you

whether you had any

TV acting experience.

- You've seen my showroom?

- Yeah.

She just suggested

making a commercial.

She's got big ideas

for the brand.

She's pretty well connected.

- Is she?

- But I'm just gonna tell her

that it's not where

we're at right now.

We've made that

decision, together.

- Well let me get in

touch with my agent.

When would she start?

If that's the drift.

- Off deck b*tches!

[hip hop music]

♪ Rock a show like this ♪

♪ Uh uh, uh uh ♪

♪ I don't know anybody ♪

♪ Check check on the mic check ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- Ooh!

♪ Everybody wanna talk like

they got something to try ♪

♪ But they ain't got

nothing when I'm up ♪

- What's this?

- Well, we're

having French toast.

Poor Gweny didn't

have any breakfast.

- That's because poor

Gweny refused to get up.

- Ooh. Oh my gosh.

Chaz. That ring.

How have I never

noticed that before?

- Oh, it's new.

- Wow.

- Ray couldn't afford

an engagement ring

back when he proposed, so.

- This looks unreal. Thank you.

- She's not your personal chef.

- So Bo, how was

that modeling gig?

- Oh no, it was all good.

One little lady she was so nice,

she actually gave me

one of her sketches.

- [Chaz] Oh

- That's awesome.

- That's.

- I love the shading.

- I mean, does

that look like you?

- Yes.

- To scale?

- She's very talented.

- [Chaz] It's lovely Bo.

- Thank you.

- [Gwen] Big day ahead.

Our nine o'clock

will be here soon.

Gwen, have a look

at our socials.

Make some notes.

Also, we're gonna

need fresh content.

So get a few candid

shots of me and Dean

and do not interact

with the clients.

- Mm hm.

- Thanks, cheers.

[gentle piano music]

- Volcamayo?

- Oh yeah. Yeah.

It's a bit of a thinker.

- Mm I'm glad you're

still doing your t-shirts.

- Yeah.

Can I have some?

- Yeah, it's really good.

- Yes.

- You have a massive c*ck.

- [Allie] Tomorrow?

- We're harvesting.

- And you weren't

interested in say, Friday?

- We're harvesting.

- Tomorrow's no trouble.

We can make that work and

I can perform anywhere.

- That won't be necessary.

We've got Reverend Clevins

to run the service,

don't we, love?

- Yes.

He's a close friend

of the family.

- Hm, Clevins.

Okay. That's fine.

- We'll bury mum

on the property.

So, should be pretty

straightforward.

- Ah, we would need

to apply for a permit.

- We've got a permit. Her

dad's already buried there.

- Oh, good.

[phone dinging]

- Off your phone Claire.

- Don't call me Claire.

- Off your phone.

- My name is Melpominy.

- Phone away.

- You interested in catering

options or will the Reverend

be doing that as well?

- I was gonna do it, but.

But--

- [Allie] Oh no.

That's all right.

Sharon can prepare and

bring everything out to you.

- Okay. Thank you.

- Yeah.

Sorry. Just for

the service sheets.

I've got Angus, Pipa.

And how do I spell?

- M E L.

- We are not using your fairy

name for the service sheets.

- I could do quotes like

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

- Claire Reynolds is fine.

- My name is Melpominy.

- Don't backchat your mother.

- Please mommy.

- No.

- You never let me do anything.

- We let you come here

in your fairy costume.

- It's not a costume.

- I'm sorry about this.

- You wouldn't let me

get a water dragon.

You wouldn't let

me learn the drums.

And now you won't even

call me by my name.

- Enough.

- Don't do this here.

- Why can't you accept

me for who I am?

- Because your mother's

not Tinker Bell.

I'm not Gandalf and you

are not a Bloomin Fairy!

[footsteps pattering]

She's going through

that fairy phase.

- Yeah.

[phone tapping]

- Reply.

Oh, no Kodo you're not.

You dead.

[door opens]

[door slams]

Need a hand?

[girl sobbing]

Oh.

Oh. Hey, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's okay. It's okay.

- My family just don't get me.

- Don't cry.

How old are you in human years?

- 17.

- f*ck 'em. Parents

don't know sh*t.

And before long,

they're gonna kick you

out on your a*s anyway.

So, you do you, I dig your wings.

I think they're great.

A little rough around the

edges, but they're cute.

You look great.

[girl gasps]

Is that, oh wow. That's a bong.

Okay.

You gonna light it? Yep.

You're gonna light

up right there.

[girl coughs]

Hmm.

Bet that's nice.

- Do you wanna hit?

- Ah, I'd like nothing

more than to get blazed

with a little fairy,

but it's my first day back

and I'm not even

meant to be talking.

Oh, you know what? f*ck

it. Yeah, let's do it.

[girl laughs]

Thank you.

- Hey, can you please

tell me a favor?

- Yeah.

- I really wanna

give this to grandma,

but mommy and daddy--

- Can you not do that voice?

It's really annoying.

- I didn't get to put

this in the coffin.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

- That's fine.

People put random sh*t

in caskets all the time.

It's not a big deal. So

don't worry about it.

[girl blows]

f*ck me.

Ow. It's in my eyes.

- Leaks getting worse.

- Oh sh*t.

- Smells like a festival portal.

- I know.

- Like hot turd.

- Thank God I ordered

those air fresheners.

- Chaz did you move the,

where are the numbers?

I need to call the plumber.

- Use Kobe.

My cousin. Oh, he'll do it.

Here's his deets.

He's staying with us

because he just came back

from South America.

He bought me a poncho.

- No one use the

upstairs toilet.

Shares, I need you to work late.

We now have a service tomorrow.

- I better reschedule Zumba.

Juan Pablo's expecting me.

- Thank you.

See you tomorrow Ivo.

Bye.

- The fairy wants this

put in the casket.

- I told you not to

speak to clients.

- I know, but she was crying.

- You smell like Marijuana?

- Yeah, 'cause the fairy

ripped a bong right next to me.

- And you didn't rip a fat puff?

- No, because I'm working.

- Good.

So have you had a look at our

socials? What do you think?

- Well, there's a big photo

of Kodo on your website.

Your address is

wrong on Google maps.

Your Facebook has you

listed as a restaurant.

Your Instagram is mainly

just blurry selfies of Dean.

So about what I expected.

- Lot's keep you busy then.

Do you want some

shots of me working?

- Like pumping a corpse

full of chemicals?

- No, like me at my desk.

Oh, I'm thinking of

getting highlights.

Is that gonna be confusing

for our followers?

- Okay. You don't

have any followers.

The only posts

that got any likes

was one of Beau looking

hot by the hearse.

- All right. Will you get

started on upping those numbers?

Ah, and FYI, I told Dean

you'd make us a TV commercial.

- Oh yeah. Yep.

No, no worries.

I'm just gonna call my

good friend, Peter Jackson.

What the f*ck?

- Knock knock.

- Well, well, well

look who's here.

- It's a nice surprise.

- Ugh, that is creepy.

This place is worse

than I remember.

- Oh we've been renovating.

You should see downstairs.

- That's okay.

Gwen.

- Yes?

- Did you defecate into a box

and leave it outside my house?

- No.

- Yes.

Yes you did because I saw

you dump it on the doorstep

and then yell, go, go, go.

- Wow. What a coincidence?

- What do you mean,

what a coincidence?

- I mean, that's not

how you used that.

- Also, did you sign Stu

up to suckthesetitties.net?

- No.

I think your boyfriend

did that himself.

- So you didn't give his number

to the church as Scientology?

- No, not that I can remember.

- He has been

inundated with calls.

- We really shouldn't

judge somebody

for their religious beliefs.

- [Mom] Gwen.

- But I bet you glad you

found this stuff out now,

ay, rather than when

you're in too deep.

- What are you

trying to achieve?

- [Gwen] What are you

trying to achieve?

- A relationship at 50.

- Oh, okay. What about a

relationship with your daughter?

I texted you like 200 times.

- Yeah well Stu and

I have been busy.

We've been taking the boat out.

- Oh my God. Did you

know that Stu has a boat?

Are you guys like

full-time sailors now?

Do you wear like fedoras,

and, like boat shoes,

and, like, linen

shirts and stuff.

- Love this outfit. Where

did you get your top?

- You still haven't given

me your insurance details.

- For my car. Okay.

- Stu's a nice guy.

He doesn't deserve

this. It stops now.

- Okay. Well I'll pass it on.

If I find the culprit,

I'll tell them it stops.

Now.

- That is hideous.

- Oh, it's for a masquerade.

I just, why don't I show you

the renos on your way out?

[footsteps pattering]

- Ugh, these have been

here since the 80s.

- Oh, we haven't got

to this part yet,

but I'm picturing

a chandelier here.

So when you first

walk in, it's like,

"Wow, what do you reckon?"

- I don't know, Ellie.

I guess that's why dad

left this place to you.

- Right?

I think he just assumed you

were busy doing your own thing.

So--

- He knew I didn't wanna

be a funeral director.

- Which is fine. I mean,

it's not for everyone.

- Oh. I told him that.

Didn't make it any

less disappointing.

- Oh.

- Then you took a shine to it

and he took a shine to you.

So I guess it all worked out.

- Well, speaking of working out,

I have toned up quite a bit.

- Have you?

- Yeah. Um, here and,

and here and these ones.

Muay Thai, you should

come to a class.

- I'm more of a Yogi.

- You'd love my friend Rhonda.

- Rhonda?

How old is she?

- Oh, 50.

[gentle piano music]

[car engine roaring]

[car door slams]

- Homey out here, isn't it?

- I can't believe that

you're making me wear this

in summer and I look like

Wednesday f*cking Adams.

- You can't wear a

bikini to a funeral.

In fact you can't wear

them to work at all.

- Why not?

It's just a waterproof

halterneck bra.

- Okay, fam. Slip, slop,

slap and wrap.

It's a gorgeous day.

- Shares, do you have a Jeep now?

- Shares, is this your car?

- Yeah, we just wanted

something bigger.

You know, for the future.

- Sick.

- [Gwen] You look like Jason.

- Mamoa?

- No, from Friday the 13th.

Hey.

[camera clicking]

- Hey sister.

- Hey you doing okay?

- I was until mom

ruined everything.

I had a bubble wand

with this outfit,

but she said I

needed to grow up.

- Oh, I've got beef with

my mom at the moment too.

- Did you put my

toy in the coffin?

- Yes. With your grandma.

- Thank you Gwen!

[both giggle]

Did you wanna K.

- f*ck, f*cking hell. Hide that.

- The service is

gonna be really fun.

- Yeah. I bet.

- I just, I don't know if

that's a good idea for me,

'cause like if Ellie

or Dean found out

they'd lose their sh*t.

- f*ck em.

- [Reverend Clavins] I

now call Gus, Tony, Roger

and Gavin to come forward.

[woman sobs]

As we commit Margaret's body

to the ground, earth to earth

ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

- Come on Clevins.

You're losing the room.

- [Reverend Clevins] We commend

her spirit to its new home.

Rest eternal, grant her

and let light perpetual

shine upon her.

[casket knocks]

- [Woman] Hello?

Hello.

- Was there.

- [Woman] Can you

help me? I'm stuck.

- Mom?

- Jesus Christ.

- How could this?

- Sorry everyone stay calm.

Stay calm.

[people gasping]

- Get her up.

- No, don't do that.

Can't be good. Fran

just stay calm.

- [Daughter] Get

her up. Get her up.

- [Allie] No, don't.

- Keep it leveled.

Keep it leveled.

- [Daughter] Get her up.

Get her out.

- [Allie] Just stay calm.

- [Daughter] Get out

the way. She's alive.

[people chattering]

- Hold her.

[people chattering]

No, no, no.

- [Dean] Oh, my god.

Are you okay?

- Dean, dean...

- Can you raise your arms?

Can you raise your arms?

Are you conscious?

Do you understand

English at this moment?

[mouthing] What the f*ck?

Anchor me, anchor me.

We're gonna lift them out.

- Let go.

- How dare you?

- What?

- How dare you drag

me into your pranks?

It's like you're trying to

destroy our entire reputation.

- No, no, no, no. I had

nothing to do with that.

- You asked me to put that

creepy toy in the casket.

- Yeah, but I had no

idea it was a speaker.

- Bull crap.

This has you

written all over it.

You've been pranking

Stu all week.

- Okay, I hate to

admit it Ellie,

but this is much

better than my work.

This little fairy is operating

at a whole other level.

She's a genius.

- She's a deranged teenage

fairy. Don't look up to her.

She's not vision board material.

You should look up to people

like Oprah and Malala Yousafzai

and Colonel Sanders.

- The chicken guy?

- No Gwen. The

democratic socialist.

- His name's Bernie.

- What is wrong with her face?

- Oh, she's on Molly.

- [Ellie] The drug?

- Yeah.

- Did you do drugs?

- No.

- [Ellie] You better

not be lying to me.

- Okay, so I did a little

bit of weedies today,

but I'm not on drugs right now.

- What is wrong with you?

- I'm not on drugs right now.

I'm telling you a funeral is

not my ideal Molly environment.

- I had to convince Dean to

let you come back and work here

and you're not even trying.

- Ah, okay. Well what do

you want from me then?

- I like you to do better

in general at

everything all the time.

- Jesus, okay.

- Go wait in the car.

- Fine but can I say goodbye?

- No good, God's sake.

[gentle piano music]

- [Shares] I thought fairies

were meant to be goodies.

- Now we all go through that

rebellious teenage phase.

I was a big punk guy. Eyeliner,

leather jacket, spiky hair.

A real bad boy.

- Mm.

My James is being a bit

difficult at the moment.

He's going through

a veterinary phase.

He keeps cutting animals open.

- [Gwen] Oh my gosh.

- [Beau] No, no, no.

We shouldn't.

- It's absolute

chaos. It is chaos.

- [Dean] Aw!

Ah!

- Is that when this spot

went through the lid?

- What's this?

- Oh, it's just a

video from the service.

- Reverend Clavins was

useless. It takes a trained MC.

- Gwen, why would you film that?

- I didn't. Someone else

did. It's on YouTube.

- God, this is the PI nightmare.

Do you not realize how

bad this makes us look?

- No one's blaming us.

- I am working my butt off

to get us to the next level

and c*ck ups like this

just drag us down.

- Ellie. Chill out.

- No you chill.

We look like a bunch of clowns

and it's f*cking embarrassing.

Get your sh*t together.

- Hi, Kobe.

- Hi Shares.

Hello. Kobe, plumber.

- Welcome to the sh*t show.

[footsteps pattering]

[phone tapping]

[phone dialing]

- [Man] Good Afternoon.

- Hello? Is that Bronson

from Stonecoast Wines?

I've just been the victim

of a hit and run by one

of your company vehicles.

No I didn't the number plate,

but he yelled at me

as he drove away.

And he said, "When you get to

Hell, tell them Stu sent ya."

Yes, Stu, Stu.

S-T-U. Short for Stuart.

- Are you okay?

- No I'm not okay.

My e-bike is ruined and I'm

pretty sure my femur is broken.

My name is Macy Gray.

Yeah.

[woman wailing]

Oh my god, the ambulance

is here. I have to go. Bye.

[laughing] Sucka lucka.

[phone tapping]

[phone whooshes]

- [Ellie] How's it looking?

- That smell is coming

from a blockage,

which I've cleared.

Cisterns broke as well.

You probably best off just

getting a whole new toilet.

- [Ellie] So you'll

need to come back?

- Yeah. Jesus.

- What?

[water flashing]

- Sorry. Got a bit of

a fright, that's all.

- I'm going to a masquerade.

- [Kobe] Do you wanna

gimme your number?

- Oh, that's really sweet.

- So I can send you a quote.

- But, yeah, cool. Yep.

- You think I was

hitting on you?

- No.

- You think I wanted

to come to your ball?

- It's a gender

reveal masquerade.

- What?

That's so stupid.

- Excuse me?

- Well, why does it even matter?

And also how are you

even supposed to react?

It's not like you can boo.

If it's the wrong one.

- Okay.

I need to lock up.

- Not to mention,

the whole sex

versus gender thing.

- Okay. Thanks.

Oh.

- You alright?

- I'm fine. I'm really good.

Thanks.

- What about Jurassic park?

- New one?

- No, old school.

Sam Neill.

[alarm beeping]

Wait, what is that?

Are you okay?

- Oh no.

There's just like heart

medications. I've been trialing.

- What? Why?

- It's just like this study.

They pay pretty good, so.

- Oh, I'm all for

making a quick buck,

but that sounds

really dangerous.

- No, it's all good.

You know what we

should watch though?

"Step Up 2: The Streets."

No, no, I actually love

a good dance movie.

- I believe that.

- Really?

- Yes

- Listen to why.

- Oh!

[woman coughing]

- It's fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine. [coughs]

- You all right?

- I'm fine.

- Do you need anything?

[both giggle]

[gentle piano music]

[woman coughing]

- f*ck. [coughs]

[gentle piano music]

Okay. I'm good.

Let's go again.

- Yes.

[alarm beeping]

[gentle piano music]