02x01 - The fifth date

[bunniefuu]

Thank you all for coming.

I feel like Julieta's spirit's still here.

You can feel it.

Relax, Sebas, you'll be okay, man.

I'm so sorry.

Thanks.

Fish, I missed my period, dude.

You're going to be a dad!

I missed my period, dude.

Fish

Fish!

Don't touch it. I just peed on it!

One line means? Is it bad?

There won't be a mini Fish any time soon.

Move, you rascal!

-Hey, I'm not going to be a dad.

-Fish!

I won't be a dad!

What's wrong with you?

I'm sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'm not gonna be a dad!

I'm not going to be a dad!

Guys!

Guess who's not going to be a dad.

And who won't have a godson? You!

You won't have a godson!

Hold on.

You wanted me as godfather?

I've supported you for ten years,

and I wasn't even considered?

-No.

-No way?

You'd been an awful dad.

It would have died in two days!

I'd have liked a mini Fish.

The world doesn't need more children.

How bad it would be

to have a child with me?

Relax, we've just lost our kid.

-Now's not the time.

-¿Relax?

You want me to relax?

Chill, Melodi. We'll make up for it.

Shut up, as*h*le!

-Grab my weed.

-Run, Fish!

Shut up, you idiot!

HOW TO SURVIVE

BEING SINGLE

5 MONTHS LATER

Are you ready to come?

No, you come first.

No, no, no, you, you, you

Oh, man, I'm coming. No, you first.

I'll come first.

Too late! I'm coming!

Me too

Women, women, women, women.

No, no, no, no.

Begone!

What do you think about?

The movie budget, you know?

And the expenses.

Anything else?

The pandemic.

If I'll have to use a mask again.

And that's all?

And your boobs.

I'm also thinking about them.

No, silly.

Soon it will be our fifth date.

Of course!

The fifth date!

You know the fifth date

is super important, right?

Super important.

Well, you better.

You know my policy is no second dates,

I can make an exception for you.

I must go. I'll call an Uber.

It's okay, I'll call one for you.

That's sweet.

INSUFFICIENT BALANCE

Sorry, the app isn't opening.

-It's so weird.

-I'll do it.

-Sorry.

-No worries!

BANK

INCOMING CALL

-Are you okay?

-Yes, yes.

-See you later.

-Sure.

Hey. Fifth

Date.

f*ck!

f*cking pervs. f*cking pervs.

No!

Gonzalo Torres!

There's a vibrator

in the hallway!

sh*t, f*cking Fish.

I'm coming in!

-Open the door!

-You didn't lock it!

Your grunting and moaning

is making me crazy.

Gonzalo!

I heard you have a girl in there!

Get her out of here!

No more groaning and moaning at night!

And the same goes for you, Sebi.

Fish.

Whenever you get up early,

you're in a bad mood. Relax!

Of course I'm in a bad mood.

You've turned my house into a brothel.

We used to live decent lives here.

I had a good life, Gonzalo!

I had a good life!

Sebi, we have to talk.

I can't sleep.

You have different girls over every night.

Sebastian, I'm talking to you.

You used to be a good boy.

I don't know you anymore!

He's gone. I have to go right now.

Okay.

I can't be late on my first day of work.

Here. Lunch money.

Gonzo, I do work. Bye.

Bye, honey!

"Bye, honey"?

I'm such an idiot.

Sebas, what time are you coming in?

I need to talk to you.

Dude, why are you so irritated lately?

What's wrong with you?

Talk to me. What is it?

You know what it is?

Yes, so what?

NEVER AGAIN

A reminder not to suffer again.

Come on!

What part of me being celibate

don't you understand?

No sex makes you crazy!

You're sick men,

and you're trying to pervert me.

I'm tired of being your idiot

You are not Fish.

I'm tired of being a burden to you.

This ends today.

It ends today.

No, Fish, stay!

I'll take you to see the sea.

You know what hurts me most?

Think of your future.

You were good,

making soap operas, earning money,

and now you are

You want to catch an STD?

You're ignoring me! Don't do this!

Do you really not care?

Fine, I don't either!

Stay here in f*cking STD-land!

-Fish, brother.

-What?

Think about this.

Go away, Gonzo. You stink of IUD.

It's gross.

We are partners in a thousand battles.

Who are you?

FISH'S PORN

-I don't hang out with idiots.

-Fish!

I understand that it was a loan.

No, no, no, let's see.

Please, don't do that to me.

I'm trying to pay less interest.

I'll take over today .

Please, help me. Just for today.

Do you take Aderales?

It's a cryptocurrency

You're very toxic, Gonzalo.

Is the money I give you also toxic?

Don't confuse friendship and business.

That's different. Here.

Take my Mexican porn collection.

Don't want it. Burn it.

Really? No more masturbating?

You're gonna miss

Black Delight, Volume Three.

No more masturbating for me!

I got this house so you could

escape Melodi, and you leave?

Fish, don't throw away

what we've been building for years!

Gonzalo, be happy in Villa Chlamydia.

If you leave, don't ever come back!

-That's the idea!

-Really?

You stole the scooter?

It belongs to the city!

Not anymore.

-Are you still here?

-My Uber never came.

-Fabiana, Fish left.

-That's not possible.

what time did you leave?

At about 4:00, I think.

Really? I didn't hear you.

I was exhausted.

It was a hard day, but cool.

Me, too.

I forgot how tiring doing laundry was.

Honey, please, I'm begging you,

I'm pleading with you.

Clean the toilet.

-Yes, boss.

-Okay.

Promise. Got everything?

Lunchbox

-Thermos

-Thank you.

-Perfect. Okay.

-Okay.

-Bye.

-Bye. Good luck!

Mafer, we're out of detergent

Ready for your first day?

I'm nervous, I'm not a teacher.

I watched a few tutorials.

They talked about drinking water.

Anything is better than dealing with

misogynistic cokeheads like Billy Boy.

Yes, but with hormonal girls,

it's exactly the same.

Remember how we were?

Be assertive.

You're the boss.

Don't let them smell fear.

Got OC gas?

You're not relaxing me at all.

Do you think our p*nis monster

is still on the bathroom wall?

The kraken? Of course not, come on.

Go and confess, like old times.

I can't believe Superior

is still alive.

She's like a mummy.

Is it because she is pure?

Suppliers are raising prices

due to the pandemic.

Funds are coming .

-What if they don't?

-The rent is due.

Charge it back.

-I need an advance to lease the set.

-I know.

Can I get an advance?

My daughter's school fees are late.

Ifigenia, I'll take care of it.

Thank you.

Holy sh*t.

-Sebas

-In a minute.

-What is it?

-Good morning.

Good morning.

What the hell?

-Can we talk?

-Yes, Nat. Of course. Come in.

Let's see

We haven't paid

Hey.

Did you do change your hair?

No. It's the same as always.

Really? You look different.

Look, I don't want to add to your stress,

but we urgently need more capital.

-Okay.

-People are worried.

They're looking for jobs.

-Who is?

-Everyone.

We'll get the funds soon.

But that's not secure.

What if it doesn't come in?

We don't have a Plan B.

I'm almost out of savings,

and, I don't know

And

I was offered a job

in Los Angeles.

Is it with Boneta?

No.

Yes, it's with Boneta.

I knew it was him.

He's doing everything.

What next? I Am Luis Miguel?

it's ace.

I could support myself for a year,

and it's just enough time

to get funding for our movie.

You will change all this

for a series in Hollywood?

So many shows don't get made!

Sebas, you have 50 pesos in the bank.

You have a hole in your shoe.

Okay.

-Let's see, June

-Please.

Wait for the stimulus.

Please.

I can't do this without you.

I know you can't do it without me.

It would all fall apart.

What about these invoices?

It's not like you're essential.

No one is essential.

Oh, yeah? You'd sink in a day, man.

-That's it.

-Wait

No! You just got here. What about this?

Sorry, I have

You sure you didn't do anything?

No.

Okay. You know men. I got distracted.

You look great, you look better.

I gotta go.

Which one is the best for removing grime?

Oh, son.

If you want the best one,

go with the blue one, Mr. Wash.

Will it make me buff like him?

No?

So funny.

"Buff like him."

Danny Boy?

Hi! You look awful.

-What's wrong?

-You fired me!

What?

All the finance houses banned me!

Really?

You don't remember?

No wonder you never came back.

I don't remember those six months.

A bad batch of ketamine.

I think someone stole my organs.

It was messed up. But I'm in rehab now.

I'm doing great.

Sure, great.

It's beer! Beer is for pussies.

sh*t. It's nothing.

You're the woman of the house now?

I'm taking a sabbatical.

I'm sorry, man.

I treated you badly.

I have a psychologist,

and she's so hot!

You'll love her.

I'll text you.

Nice seeing you.

Get Mr. Wash. It's great for grime.

Don't be a stranger.

Get lost, f*ck.

Order!

Order in the court!

He's guilty!

Sir!

Guilty of curing hemorrhoids!

Hemorrid.

Cut!

Thanks, guys.

Oh, man, so glad this is finally done.

Hey, Fai, what's up? How have you been?

Getting by.

The pandemic screwed things up for me.

This is my third hemorrhoid advert.

Hemorrhoids! This is crap.

People must be really constipated.

It's 200,000 pesos, so I can't be picky.

-Exactly.

-Right.

you got paid 200,000 pesos?

I thought I was the star.

Yes, you are!

-You did well.

-Thanks.

It's probably because of my followers.

It's all about the followers now.

I'll change clothes.

I'm doing an infomercial

for feet calluses.

This one pays 500,000 pesos.

-What?

-Take care, Sebas. See you.

If you need to replace Yurem

in your show, I can sing.

-You can sing?

-Yes.

I'll have them call you.

Promise.

On fire

That was good.

Bye, Faisy.

He won't call me.

-Hi, Leslie.

-Hello.

-Same-day pay, right?

-Yes.

-Thanks.

-It's 10,000 for you.

Thanks.

10,000.

Sofía - When you and your partner

come at the same time

Sebas - Help me figure this out, man

-Hey.

-Did you get the meme?

I don't get it.

I think you're old enough to know.

When a man and a woman

love each other,

they have sex.

It's when a man inserts his erect p*nis

in a woman's vag*na.

Seriously, Fabiana.

Sofía might be really into me.

Sure. She's trying to replace

her father's affection

with a protecting figure like you.

Or it's just a funny meme.

I don't know. It says "partner."

She's looking for a relationship.

Got to go. Superior is here.

Fabianita!

Blame it on the Devil

and you'll be fine.

Hello.

How are things coming?

We're progressing.

That's what I like to see!

Mafer!

PENDING

GET CLIENTS

Mafer, my dear!

What am I gonna do with you?

-You're always so antisocial.

-No.

You don't coexist with the others.

And this

I didn't know making friends

was a requirement.

Friends? No. This is more than an office.

This is a family, it's a community.

We like to collaborate,

cooperate, mingle

connect!

You can do it, Mafer.

Shall we connect?

Pedro?

Come here, darling.

Pedro is Entrepreneur of the Year.

-He's won every award.

-Yes?

-Hello.

-Hey, nice to meet you.

Pedro has a startup

for green bean delivery.

Isn't that a great idea?

And Mafer is a designer.

-Really?

-Yes.

I love it.

Would you like to propose

some graphics for E-Hots?

Okay. I can show you my portfolio.

I need to update it.

I was away for two years.

-Tell me.

-Yes?

Have you ever worked with beans?

I can learn.

I was joking.

Got you.

Thanks. I'll think of something.

Great. But I only work

with people on Instagram.

What's your username?

Of course.

It's "At"

maferinwonderland.

Sorry, it was 2014.

Ready. Follow.

Well, I'll leave you two alone.

-Connect!

-Okay.

You'll get used to Sonia.

If they could see you now!

You're so serious and formal.

So different from your school days.

I've reformed.

This skirt is too short.

It should be 4.8 inches longer.

-Sorry. I'll rehem it for tomorrow.

-Ok.

Good luck.

Blessed be the Lord.

I saw that cell phone, Carmelita.

Good morning.

How are you?

Oh, look, we don't use chalk anymore.

I'm Fabiana.

I'm your new teacher

for Psychology and Human Development.

Yes?

Miss, what happened

to Margarita?

-I don't know.

-Didn't you hear?

Got fired because

of the contraceptive pills.

What contraceptive pills?

Yes, she spent a class telling us

what she did not to get pregnant.

The nuns found out.

We know that having

relations

before marriage causes

bulimia and depression.

What?

Don't be stupid!

If that were true

Jessica would've k*lled herself by now.

I take Xanax for that.

Anyway, you're the bulimic.

Okay, girls.

Can I go to the bathroom?

Are you in this grade?

The dummy failed 3 times!

I didn't fail. I just developed faster

than all of you.

Okay.

Open your books to page 54.

We're going to talk about

Class!

No!

It's Bobo!

"Hi, Sebas, I'm Bobo."

No joke, he's great!

Hey, Stefy,

when will it all be ready?

We need to talk.

Due to the pandemic,

prices have increased a lot.

I had to get the materials,

but they were costly.

How much are we talking about?

But

see his new eyes?

Yes, I love them.

Okay, I'll get it for you.

This movie will k*ll me.

I know, man.

Right.

Your girlfriend must be alone a lot.

Ever have time to see her?

No. What girlfriend?

With the office on fire

-You're single?

-Yes.

I'm also single.

It's great to be single.

Sorry, I have to get this.

Sorry I have to go. It's an emergency.

Congratulations. It's great.

I love these, thanks.

Genius! Genius!

Stefy, were you coming on to me?

Of course.

No way!

That pic was only for you.

It wasn't for your friends.

No, you promised!

No!

You're a liar!

What part of getting expelled

don't you get?

If Nuns or my parents hear

You're a b*stard.

I can't believe I trusted you.

If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

-Scene 11.

-That's right.

Bobo and Badu.

You wanted to see me?

Yes, yes.

This is for the school fees.

Perfect.

I got the school fees!

School fees? You're broke!

Times are hard.

Okay.

Bright eyes.

Scene 47.

How can you tell if a girl's in love?

I don't know.

If you think she is, she probably is.

Scene 49, harness and crane.

How would you go about not hurting her?

We're working!

Right.

Anyway, she's not made of cotton candy.

Say you don't want anything serious.

We're all adults here.

But she's so cute.

She's not a puppy.

Women aren't dogs.

Right.

You're right. I'll break it off.

Great.

-Crane, please.

-Okay.

See?

Answer.

Hey, Sof-Sof!

It's my cousin's wedding next week.

Wanna come?

No strings attached.

Yes, that'd be great!

It'll be so cool. Very romantic.

I've got more options. Want to see?

Yes, yes.

We can talk about it later. Bye.

You're such a coward.

-Really.

-Weren't you working?

Yes, sir.

sh**t them, man.

Wait a minute.

It's us against them.

Wait, am I on the right?

You've been sh**ting from the wrong side.

I don't know, man.

Excuse me!

How are you, Mafer?

You remember our neighbor, Ruben.

We're discussing some issues.

I better go.

Mom's expecting for me for dinner.

Stay, man.

We're about to make dinner.

Are we?

Did someone say dinner?

I just made some space.

-Fish?

-Hey!

Why are you here?

I couldn't be around perverts.

I needed an adult space like this.

People who give

structure to my life.

Boring, but worthwhile.

Fish, shut up.

Daniel. Daniel Lebrija!

I need to talk to you.

-Want some?

-I'm celibate.

What is this?

I couldn't say no.

You should check first.

I couldn't leave him out on the street.

You don't live alone.

I'll not be noted. I'm like a cat.

You see?

-Come on.

-This is not cool.

Not cool.

What's this doing here?

Transportation.

Babe!

These payments are due.

25,000 pesos for hair pins?

-They're non-slip.

-Exactly.

65,000 pesos for the wardrobe

of an actress

who's no longer in our film?

Yes. She was really thin.

Nobody will fit in them.

Sebas, your mail.

Okay, thanks.

STIMULUS FUNDS

This

is yours, right?

Why are you taking

the stimulus letter?

funds letter arrived.

It came?

Well, we got a letter.

It may not be that one.

It's the stimulus.

Marco! Bere! Teletubby! Come!

My letter opener is up here.

-You can use my knife.

-Yes, come on. Open it here.

-Sure?

-Of course.

Go on, Sebas.

What?

They gave us the money for the movie!

This is the best news.

-I know!

-f*ck Boneta!

We're doing this!

Sof?

Hello. Your roomie let me in.

Did we have plans?

Yes, we spoke about it earlier.

Our fifth date.

Really? Sorry, yes, of course.

Our fifth date.

Fish! Why did you go?

Your roomie hasn't stopped crying

since I got here.

-Is everything all right?

-I don't know.

But why don't you

make yourself comfortable?

I'll go check on him.

Nobody should cry that loud, right?

I'll wait here.

Gonzo?

Dude.

Is everything okay?

-Where's Fish?

-He's gone, Sebas.

He left us just like that.

He just left?

He took the sheets?

They were mine. f*ck.

still smells of him.

"I've left.

I'm sorry you chose perversion."

What's wrong with him?

When did he become celibate?

Is he nuts?

I need some help.

I don't know what to do.

-This is our fifth date

-Fifth? Are you crazy?

That's serious. Really serious.

-Really?

-Yeah, man.

Cosmo magazine, May 2012.

"The fifth date is crucial to defining

a serious relationship."

You read Cosmo?

Every single man should read Cosmo.

We have to study the feminine psyche.

Okay, I'll read Cosmo.

In the meantime, what should I do?

I dunno.

I'm crying over Fish right now.

I can't think about that. I'm sorry.

Well, this sucks.

Sorry, I think he'll be quiet now.

Is this for me? Thanks.

Is this a bad time?

Do you want me to leave?

Sof

You're a sweet girl,

lovely, pretty, intelligent.

I've had a great time with you.

-But

-But you don't want anything serious.

Exactly.

Why would you wait until the fifth date

to tell me?

You know I've been so busy at work.

-So what?

-Right.

You think that

you're the only one with things to do?

I also have a life, work, hobbies.

Yes, you're right.

I know I'm right.

I invited you to a wedding.

And

I even reserved the hot tub.

The Presidential Suite.

A stroll in the vineyard,

horseback riding.

-Don't want to go?

-It's just when you said wedding,

I thought we would do mushrooms.

Mushrooms!

Do you see me?

-Yes.

-No, look at me properly.

You'll never get another woman like me.

I'm a catch.

I'm pretty.

I'm intelligent. I'm fun.

I'm fun!

I'm empowered!

I'm a catch.

Yes.

I'm leaving.

Really, I'm going.

I'm walking out.

I'm leaving because I have self-respect.

as*h*le!

Sebas!

STIMULUS FUNDS

I just said no to Los Angeles,

so I'm 100% in our project.

I'm so excited our movie was accepted.

And thanks

for trusting me.

YOUR MOVIE "ALMOST AT THE END"

HAS BEEN REJECTED.