01x08 - Monumental Disaster/Talent Show

[bunniefuu]

Muah‐hah‐ha‐ha!

‐♪ Can't believe
You're all mine ♪
‐Uh, what?

‐♪ You and me for all time
‐Ugh!

‐♪ I'm never, ever,
Ever gonna be alone again! ♪
‐Oh, boy!

‐♪ The dream team
You and me ♪
‐ For all eternity?!

♪ For all eternity!

♪ It's the ghost
It's a ghost ♪

♪ And Molly McGee

♪ I've been cursed
It's the worst! ♪

♪ Now you're stuck
With me! ♪

♪ We're never
Gonna be apart ♪

♪ Is there a way
To hit restart? ♪

‐ Nope!
‐♪ We're the ghost
Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

‐ That's me!
‐ Well, that's she .

♪ The Ghost
And Molly McGee! ♪

Whatcha looking for, Dad?

Oh! Is it
the ice cream truck?!

Whoo! Ice cream truck?!

It's here! It's finally here!

Here she is:
Midwest Monthly.

I've waited
four weeks for this!

Is that a magazine,
like, with staples?

You know you can read it way
earlier online, right?

Ha! And miss out
on that new magazine smell?

[sniffs] I don't think so!

And now to find out which town

has been named
"Best of the Midwest"...

[exhales]

Ooh! I think
Brighton's got a real shot!

I'm too nervous.
You do it.

No, I'll do it.
No, you do it.

No... You do it.

Okay, I'll look.

And the winner is...

Brighton, Brighton,
Brighton...

"Perfektenborg...

Scandanavian Hospitality

in America's Heartland."

Noooooo!

Perfektborg wins every time!

Look. Brighton's
not even in here!

Oh, it's not true, Dad!
Brighton's in the magazine...

Well, actually,
just half of Brighton...

But it still counts!

When did half count?

For too long,
Brighton has been counted out.

But no more!
The next edition of
Midwest Monthly will crown

the "Best Fest in the Midwest"
and it's going to be Brighton.

‐Who's with me?!
‐Ooh! Me! I am! I am!

[both grunt]

‐Wha? Okay. One more time.
‐[both grunt]

‐One, two...
‐[both] Ah!

Whoo‐hoo!

[both]
McGees never give up!

I love it, McGee!

Always wanted to take that smug
Perfektenborg down a peg or two.

Wipe those "perfekt" smiles
off their faces!

[Dad]
All we need is a festival
that will draw a crowd...

Ahhh!

We already have one.

Turnip Fest!

Ha! Good one!

Oh, that wasn't a joke?

Talk about dead in the water!

Ooh. Poor word choice.

Sure, we haven't been able to
fund Turnip Fest in decades,

but back in the day,
it was a real hit!

Right, Goldie?
Oh, sorry.

Assistant Mayor Goldie.

[Scratch]
Bloop‐bloop‐bloop.

[Dad]
Excuse me, Mr. Mayor,

but we can't beat
Perfektenborg with turnips!

Yeah, turnips are just
potatoes that went...

‐horribly, horribly wrong!
‐[Scratch exclaims]

I will have no anti‐turnip talk
in this office, McGee!

Brighton was built on the back
of the mighty turnip! [chomps]

[swallows, sighs]

They may not look like much,

and they sure don't
taste like much...

but they're ours!

Right, Assistant Mayor Goldie?

‐[Scratch sighs]
‐I knew you would.

[kisses]
You're my smartest adviser!

Okay, all we gotta do
is win Best Fest.

And that'll bring tourists.

And tourists will bring...

Tourist money!

Which means more funds
to en‐happify the town,

winning us even more awards!

Nice usage of "en‐happify."

[Scratch]
Hi. Reality here.

[screeches]

You're working with the turnip,

which is what you'd get if
earwax became a vegetable.

‐[Molly and Dad sigh]
‐Guys, you know me,
I'll eat anything.

But a turnip? No way!

I'm coming back for that pizza!

Oof!

Scratch, we need to talk.

Your misery numbers
are frankly... miserable.

Yes. We've seen a rather
disturbing trend of rising joy.

Uh, yes, well, you know,
I've been...

I've been cookin' up
something... really miserable.

A Turnip Festival.
Can you believe it?

Hmm. Turnips are miserable.

But festivals are risky.

They can spread joy.

Remember what happened
when Perfektborg

had their Krumcake
Cookie Competition?

Yes. Look at Scary Sven.
He never recovered.

Hello! Is eternity over yet?

It would be a shame
if you had to join Sven

in the Flow of Failed Phantoms.
Forever.

Yeah, but this is
a festival about turnips!

Nobody likes turnips!

My misery numbers
are gonna go through the roof!

♪ Turnip Fest is back!

Did you say "Turnip Fest"?

Now, that's a festival
I can "root" for!

[laughs]

This weekend, celebrate
Brighton's tastiest treat!

[chomps, gags]

There'll be food! Fun!
Festivities!

And also, turnips!

Just make sure you...
"turn up"!

Stay at the Brighton
Motor Lodge!

Lots of vacancies!
Wide open!

Please come.

[cheering]

[Molly]
Dad, we're going viral!

Our ad worked!

Yeah. It did.

‐[grunts]
‐[laughs]

[gasps]

I love turnips!

‐Hey, Molly, uh, you know‐‐
‐Yes?

‐Hypothetically speaking,
‐Mm‐hmm?

How would you feel if
Brighton didn't get

the "Best Fest
in the Midwest"?

Ah, well, come on, man.
That's not gonna happen.

'Cause it's in the bag!

Let's pretend.
Spitballin', you know,

It wouldn't‐‐it wouldn't, like,
crush your entire spirit,
would it?

Um, no.
I think I'd get over it.

Oh, but it would
totally demolish Dad.

‐Whew!
‐[cheering]

Okay. I mean,
it's not gonna happen, but‐‐

Right, it's not gonna happen

'cause the whole town

has turnt up for turnips!

‐Yeah.
‐[laughs] So you know,

no worries, Scratch.

Well, I'll just
see you later, then.

[groans]

[flatulates]

[all gasp]

Stupid turnips.

[chomps, gags]

If this festival is a success,

it's the Flow of
Failed Phantoms for me.

Dad, Dad!
The whole town's here!

Now all you need to do
is impress

that Midwest Monthly
reporter.

[woman]
Ahem! Excuse me!

[scribbling]

Eva Hernandez,
Midwest Monthly.

I'll be judging
"Best Fest of the Midwest."

I'd like to begin with the food,
then move onto the festivities,

then time and
weather‐permitting, the fun.

Right this way, Ms. Hernandez.

Would you care to try
one of

Brighton's famous
Turnip Tornados?

Molly and Pete worked so hard.

I can't be the one
to crush their dreams.

‐I mean‐‐
‐[screaming] Help!

I got too close to
the turnip tornado machine!

Geoff, you're a ghost.

Let me help you out.

Oh, wow.

Good to know
I can always count on you.

Yes, Geoff. You can always
count on me...

Sort of like how I...
can always count on you!

I'm starting to see
a loophole...

♪ There's a brand new craze
On the radio dial ♪

♪ Everybody's dancing
In the produce aisle ♪

♪ Turnip the stereo
And go like this ♪

♪ Come on,
Do the Turnip Twist ♪

♪ The Turnip Twist

♪ Turn your turnip
To the left ♪

♪ The Turnip Twist

♪ Then you spin it
To the right ♪

♪ The Turnip Twist

♪ Drop down, pull
A turnip from the ground ♪

♪ Shake it off
And take a bite ♪

[buzzsaw sound]

♪ It's a main dish
side dish ♪

♪ Even a snack ♪

♪ No, it isn't rotten

♪ It just tastes like that ♪

♪ Throw away your jimaca
and radishes ♪

♪ Come on
Do the Turnip Twist ♪

♪ Don't want no rutabaga

♪ Do the Turnip Twist

♪ Tip your turnip farmer ♪

♪ Do the Turnip Twist

[cheering]

[laughter]

Well, that was a delight.

I know I shouldn't say this,

but I'm so tired of writing
about Perfektenborg.

They win everything!

Tell me about it!
We get it.

Perfect is in their name!

They're not as
perfect as you think.

Their meatballs...

were a little dry this year.

[gasps] The nerve!

Now excuse me, I'm needed
at the Turnip Mascot contest.

[gasps] Dad!
You're doing it!

Ha ha! I gotta go
tell your mom the good news!

This is it, Molly!

Things are really turning
around for Brighton!

[light booms]

Now it's time to...

"Trash the Turnip!"

[crowd oohs]

Ms. Eva Hernandez
of Midwest Monthly Magazine,

care to start the trashing?

Oh! I never get to do
anything like this

in not‐so‐Perfektborg!

You didn't hear it from me,

but Brighton
could be pretty happy

with next month's magazine.

Yes!

Geoff, this is getting serious.

‐The clock is ticking here!
‐Oh, I heard.

Er... ya!

And I'm running out options.

The Ghost Council is not
playing around this time.

Sure.

Whoo! [laughs]

I mean, if I don't
find a way to stop this Fest,

they're gonna send me to
the Flow of Failed Phantoms!

Ahh! Flow of Failed Phantoms!

That is not happening
or my name is not

G‐E‐ No time to spell it‐‐
Gotta go!

No! Don't! Geoff, wait!

I am not losing
my best friend!

Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, my heels!

Whoa! Whoa!

No!

[Eva] Ahh!

Oh! Ahh!

[pinball chiming]

[belches]

Perhaps it was a bad idea

to fill the piñata with turnips.

[sighs, grunts]

‐Yeah, it was a bad idea.
‐[pen clicks]

Here, let me help you.

‐[clicking]
‐[gasps]

I solved
all your problems, buddy!

You know it feels good
to do good?

Yeah. Thanks. I guess.

See, Dad?
Midwest Monthly available

at the click of a button.

Okay, I will admit the layout
is very convenient.

Just click this button and...

‐[wails]
‐Aww...

Okay. Yeah.
That's all right, Dad.

Just let it out. Ooh.

Let us not...

I just feel bad about
sabotaging the festival...

but I can honestly say
it wasn't my fault.

Because it was yours.

You know,
sometimes being friends

with a colossal screw‐up
isn't so bad.

Aww, anything for you,
buddy!

And now, the Ghost Council
doesn't have

any excuse to send me away.

I mean, this place is as
miserable as it gets

and that ain't changing
anytime soon!

[Patty]
Looks like the Turnip Fest

was a real turn down
for business.

Gonna have to close down
this old place

[phone rings]

Brighton Motor Lodge.

Uh‐huh. You want to...

book a room
for next year's Turnip Fest?!

You think that sounds like fun?

Well... sure!
Let me get my pen.

‐[beeping]
‐Wait. More bookings?!

Whoo‐hoo!

The Motor Lodge is saved!

[dings]

[thunderclap]

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee

[snores]

[Molly] Aww, he's so cute when
he's sleeping

Wake up, Scratch!

[screams gibberish]

What's going on?!

It's Saturday!

And not just any Saturday.
I have no plans!

No chores, no homework,
no responsibilities!

‐And you know what that means...
‐Don't care.

We're gonna have the most
Awesome Best‐Friends' Day

that Brighton has ever seen!

Just chime in when you hear
something you wanna do.

♪ We could start out with...

♪ A super happy
Picnic at the park ♪

♪ Then hit up the aquarium ♪

♪ A nd watch them
Feed the sharks ♪

♪ It's Sunny
I'ts Saturday ♪

♪ Let's go out and make this ♪

‐♪ An awesome
Best Friends Day ♪
‐Ahh!

♪ There's archery, calligraphy,
Ecology and more ♪

♪ All the thrilling
Possibilities ♪

♪ Are right outside our door

♪ There's auctioneering,

♪ Volunteering ♪

♪ Human bio‐engineering

♪ Look, the day is
Disappearing! ♪

♪ Come on, Scratch
Let's go! ♪

♪ We could float in silence ♪

♪ In a deprivation tank

♪ Or hunt some evil pirates ♪

♪ And make them
Walk the plank ♪

♪ We could high five
While skydiving ♪

♪ What do you say? ♪

♪ Won't you join me...

♪ For an... ♪

♪ Awesome Best Friends Day

No. To all of that.

"No"? You can't say "No"
to everything!

I absolutely can.
Just did.

That's a terrible way
to go through life!
Or death!

We can't all be so positive,

constantly saying "Yes"
like you all the time.

Well, that's different, okay?
Because yes is good!

‐Oh, is it? It's good?
‐[Molly] Yeah!

Well, I guess you'd like it
then if you could only say yes?

Yes! I would love it!

Would you hate it
if you could only say no?

‐No, I would not.
‐I bet you would, too.

‐All right, wanna put your money
where your mouth is?
‐Uh‐huh.

Great, then I'm gonna set
a curse on us, Molly McGee!

Rahh! Until midnight,

one of us can only say no

And the other,

can only say yes!

Okay, okay,
let's test this out!

Scratch, do you want to...

do nothing today?

Y‐‐

I see what you did there.

Okay, so I guess
my answer is "No."

[laughs] Yes!

‐[bee buzzing]
‐[Dad grunts]

[loud crash]

Molly! Get back!
It's not safe.

We've got a bee
in our home!

Uh, so you're antagonizing it
with a broom?

You got a better‐‐?
Wait‐‐

Scratch! You caught the bee!

Can you please...
release it outside?

Can I release the bee
outside? Hmm...

No!

So far, I'm loving this curse!

Ooh! Next we can
go to the library,

get some new books,

enter a literary world
of pure imagination.

[kazoo sound]

[laughs]

Uh, hello, the library
is that a‐way?

Just, uh...
taking the scenic route.

"Scenic route"?
Weird!

Almost like hate
close‐up magic or something.

Which is absurd,
because it is delightful.

Obviously, I love real magic.

Wizards and unicorns and stuff.

But magicians are just
con artists who trick people!

I don't like being
bamboozled, Scratch!

And I will not be hurt again!

‐[people murmur]
‐[Scratch giggles]

[Scratch]
Oh, hey, Molly...

[chuckles]
Wanna go watch street magic?

Pffft! That is a hard n‐‐

‐Nnn...
‐Hmm?

Nnn....

‐What was it?
‐Fine! Yes! [groans]

I can't believe you'd use
this curse against me.

Abracadabra! Ha ha ha!

Hey there, passerby!

Would you like to see
some magic?

‐Yes.
‐[giggles]

[blows] Presto!

‐Are you impressed? Oh? [laughs]
‐That didn't come from my ear.

You were holding that coin
in your hand the whole time.

I know your game,
presti‐digi‐faker.

Oh, Patty! Over here!
Quick, before he asks me
to pick a card!

Molly! Perfect timing!

I just finished
whipping up some gumbo

but my tastebuds
don't work so well any more.

Will you be my taste‐tester?

Yes! I would be happy to!

‐Is this gumbo?
‐Not bad for a beginner, huh?

Well, come on, Moll.
Aren't you gonna eat it?

Yes. I will... eat it.
Now.

Here I go...

[gags]

[Scratch]
Make sure to eat it all, Molly.

[gags]

Can you taste how
the freezer burn

mingles with the actual burn?

Yes.

[stomach churns]

[stomach gurgles]

[sighs]

Oh! Already finished?

Do you want some more?

‐[grunts]
‐What's your answer?

She's asking you
if you want more.

‐[stomach churns]
‐Yes.

[Dad grunts]

The bee has summoned
its swarm!

Save yourselves!

[phone rings]

Hello, my favorite grandson!

What's going on?

Nothin' much, Grandma Nin.

Just hiding from
a swarm of bees in the house.

‐ Bees?
‐Oh, don't worry!

‐Dad'll squash 'em
or die trying!
‐[Grandma shrieks]

Put your mother on!

You cannot hurt bees!
They are good luck!

But, Mom,
they're attacking Pete!

That is Peter's problem.

No hurting bees!

‐[buzzing]
‐Oh, they're everywhere!

Ahh!

[skunk chitters]

‐[man] Help!
‐[Molly] Oh! It's Weird Larry.

Quick, cross the street.

Are you avoiding people
or something?

How very un‐Molly‐McGee‐ish
of you.

Help! Help my baby Vera!
She got out

She's black and white
and got a cute little
fluffy tail!

And a powerful stench
only a father could love.

Oh, is Vera a skunk?

[Larry]
Can ya help me wrangle her?

‐[chuckles]
‐[strains]

Oh, Molly, you've been
asked a question.

You have to answer.

‐Mmm...
‐Don't leave the guy hanging.

I can see the word
working its way up!

Come on, you know you want to...

[echoing] Yes!

And McGee slips past
the wet cardboard boxes...

Why are they wet? We won't ask!

She's making progress
on the far turn...

Oh! [laughs]

[groans]

[gasps] Wow!

When you are right,
you are right, Moll,

You know, this is an Awesome
Best Friends' Day!

I mean, not for you,
but for me‐‐ Ahh!

Okay, look,
whatever I did wrong,

I'm sorry
and I won't do it again!

[all laugh]

Oh, Scratch,
you're not in trouble.

For once.

‐I'm not?
‐Quite the opposite.

We're pleased with you!

Oh, Misery Levels have been
on the rise in your town!

Very impressive work.

Which is why
we'd like to invite you

to join the Elite Ghost Society!

Do you accept our invitation?

I have been waiting for this
moment my entire afterlife!

You're asking me‐‐ Of course!
What am I gonna say?!

I'm gonna say‐‐ Oof.

[babbles]

Y‐‐ [strains]

[babbles]

‐[deflates]
‐No.

[all gasp]

Scratch, consider carefully

because we will
not ask you again.

Ever. For the rest of eternity.

Will you join
the Elite Ghost Society?

No I will not.

Come on! Vera!

Come back here,
you little stinker.

Well, my eternity is ruined.

I'm really starting
to regret this whole curse.

Ha! [coughs]

Same. Sure would be
nice to say...

"the opposite of yes"
right now.

Oh, Molly! Let's switch!

You mean reverse the curse
to the inverse? Do it.

Do it do it do it do it
do it do it!

[grunts]

I decree: you are no,
I am yes!

Okay, real quick:
Do you want a pet skunk?

No.

Ha! It worked!

Mr. Weird, or is it Larry?
I don't know.

But I did find your skunk!

That ain't Vera.

Looks feral...

[hisses]

Ooh, okay.
Well, uh, I tried.

Wait! Aren't you gonna
help me find my Vera?

No! Ha! That feels good!

What do you say?
Should we go home?

Hide until the curse
wears off?

I'll give that a big yes!

Ha ha! I knew you did!

Um, we all agree that pushing
the bees out with air

won't give us bad luck, right?

As long as you
do not hurt them.

Open the window!

[hairdryers whirring]

[gasps] It's working!

[hairdryer stops]

Uh‐oh.

[buzzing]

Beenado!

[all] Ahh!

Oh, wow. This really escalated
while we were gone.

Come on, we have to help!

Hey, Scratch?

Buddy? Will you please
eat all the bees?

"Eat all the‐‐"?
[sighs]

I guess I had this comin'.

Okay. But if I'm suffering,
so are you‐‐

Hey, Molly, can you not herd
the bees together for me?

A double negative huh?
Then no!

Perfect. Finally, we've
figured out a good use
for this curse!

Not happy about eating bees,
though.

[hairdryer whirrs]

Do your worst, bees!

You can't sting a gho‐‐

Whoa! Ow ow ow ow!

Ahh! Okay!

[garbled] My mistake,
I gueth you can.

‐We did it, Scratch!
‐You saved us!

‐How could we ever repay you?
‐[Scratch] Ow!

[Molly] Don't ask us any
questions until tomorrow!

Maybe saying no

or "the opposite of no"
all the time is too extreme.

Yes, I agree.

Ooh! Here we go!

[both] Five... four... three...

Wanna french‐braid my hair?

‐Uh‐‐ [sighs] Yes.
‐Ha ha.

Trapping me in the last
seconds, McGee?

‐Dirty move.
‐[chuckles] Yes it was.

‐Huh. A lot of
bee wings in here.
‐Ooh.

Kinda weave them in.
They might look cool.

[Scratch]
Yeah, well, just, well...

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee

[closing theme plays]