02x08 - No Human Is ill*gal

[bunniefuu]

[ocean rumbles]

[seagulls cawing]

[pensive music playing]

[inhales, exhales]

[birds chirping]

Badass b*tch.

You badass b*tch.

You're on some superhero sh*t.

You keep families together?
Hell yeah, you're a f*cking bawse.

ICE? f*ck you, ICE.

Come at me! f*ck ICE.
f*cking smash white supremacy.

You're that f*cking b*tch.

Hell yeah.

You got this.

[heavy metal music playing]

[in Spanish]
Daughter of your f*cking mother.

[in English]
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, tomorrow. What the f*ck?

[phone ringing]

What?

[in Spanish] What is it?

How can he retire without finishing
his cases? I don't understand.

[in English] Immigration court systems
are like black holes.

They suck up endless documents
and people, never to be seen again.

Judge Lewis, he still had
a tiny piece of his heart,

which is why he's taking
a f*cking Disney cruise into the sunset.

[in Spanish] Son of a... I'm going to k*ll
that damn Mickey Mouse!

[in English]
Yeah, who the hell is this new judge?

Judge Corchado.

[in Spanish]
Look, Casimiro, I gotta be real.

Judge Corchado is tough.

[in English] This guy's tough.

What are we talking here?
Judge Judy tough? Or Ana Maria Polo tough?

[Melinna] Ah, we're talking dead inside.

Has his huevitos with a side of Fox News
while wearing a MAGA hat.

- What can we do?
- We've been dealt a blow here.

Neither your petition
or Lupe's has been approved yet.

If they don't come in before the hearing,
Judge Corchado will order

Casimiro's removal
without blinking an eye.

[Ana] Oh, f*ck him. He'll blink!

I will cover every damn billboard
with that xenophobic face.

Okay, but isn't that just
gonna make him angrier?

So?

Do we really wanna poke
the big, r*cist bear?

[Lupe] Ana, mija,

since the interview, you've seen how
they talked about your abuelo on the news.

There're people who love him and people...

[in Spanish] Want me gone.

[in English] This might scare
the big, r*cist bear back in the cave,

or we might have a Leo
and the f*cking Revenant situation here.

I don't know. Either way, it's a gamble.

Okay. So what's the plan?
I mean, there's gotta be one, right?

We bring in as many
character witnesses as possible,

including each and every one of you.

We hope Judge Corchado's having a good day

so he holds off
until the petitions are approved.

Okay, mija,

what else?

Just spend as much time
with each other as you possibly can,

and enjoy each other until then.

[Christmas music playing]

[Ana] Nayeli, just 'cause we're at
an Airbnb doesn't make me your bellhop.

Come get your bags.

Gracias.

Just to clarify, since we're having
an early Christmas for Pop,

Santa knows
I'm getting two presents, right?

[laughs] Girl, stop acting
like you believe in Santa Claus.

Ain't nobody falling for it.

[Nayeli]
This early Christmas is unnecessary.

Pop gets cranky
when he has to drive to Pacoima.

He's not going nowheres.

Nayeli, yes,

you get two presents this year, kid.
Whatever you want.

Santa better be ready.
Capricorns have expensive taste.

[chuckles softly]

- You okay?
- Fine.

No. Yes. I don't...

I gotta tell you something.

[sighs]

I got a job.

It's a pretty incredible restaurant.
I'm super excited about it.

Entry level,
working with a world-class chef.

- Chris, this is great.
- It's not. It's in Mexico City.

- [scoffs]
- I know. Crazy, right?

We're trying to keep Pop out of Mexico,

and I'm sending myself over
like a privileged expat.

I am so proud of you, primo.

Aw. [chuckles]

I swear

the day I make my first million,

my dog's gonna die.

I can feel it.

What? [laughs]

- I just know it.
- Oh my God.

- I'm not getting a dog.
- [laughs]

Ay! Baby! Be careful.

- Sheesh.
- [Lupe] Erik!

The baby's being fussy.

[in Spanish] Bring the pacifier.

[in English] Yeah. I got it.

[motorcycle revving]

[whispering] Hey.

Oh my God.

Hey. [sighs]

I was wrong to leave.

I let my emotions get to me.

But, baby, my mistakes...

they don't give you a free pass
to disrespect me.

I need you trust me, or this won't work.

[sighs]

I'm gonna make mistakes, Lidia.

But I'm not going nowhere.

We're gonna have to figure out
how to make us both happy.

[crowd cheering on TV]

[door knocking]

[sighs]

[man on TV] Casimiro Morales...

[Nayeli] Pop, go back, you're on TV.

[man on TV] And then to capitalize
on his blatant disregard of American law,

he has the audacity to do a Nike ad?
What in the hell is this?

- Was Kike Hernandez not available?
- [Ernesto] What?

[man on TV] Pau Gasol? You got
plenty of legal actual sports players

you can feature, Nike.

I'm sure they can "habla español"
for ya just fine.

- [Ernesto] Oh my God.
- [man on TV] The disrespect is galling.

If you ever had any doubts
that these people do not respect our laws,

our values, and our country...

- [Ana] f*ck.
- [man on TV] There's your proof.

We'll be right back.

[Ana] But the trial's in four days!

Can't stop it now, Ana.
It's rolling out in all the major markets.

Los Angeles, Miami, New York.

But Melinna says that this judge is awful.

The whole thing could affect his case.
Please, Nike has to wait.

Ana, you begged me to use Pop's image.

You broke things off with me
because you wanted it so bad.

And you were right.
Nike loves your passion.

I love it too. This will help him,
and we cannot shut it down right now.

[sighs]

[soft music playing]

[sighs]

Abuelo...

I'm so sorry.

[in Spanish] Don't feel bad, mija.

In fact, tell George Clooney to watch out
'cause here comes Casimiro Morales,

the new movie star.

[in English] Is this gonna hurt you?

[in Spanish] Who knows?

[laughing]

[in English] Mira qué chulo, Chris.
He made everyone's favorite dish.

- [Erik] Hey, why you trying so hard?
- It's Christmas, stupid.

If you don't want
your Palo Alto paleo plate...

No, it's good right here.

It's okay, I'll do it for you.

[Chris sighs]

- Millennials are so weird.
- [Chris] I have something to say.

I'm just gonna rip off the Band-Aid
'cause that's how we do it in this family.

Um...

I got a job...

in Mexico City.

And I'm leaving, not forever,

but for a while.

And I'm so nervous because the old Chris

would've just taken his shot
and never looked back,

but the new Chris really loves his family

and never wants to ever lose them again.

[Ernesto] So Mexico City, eh?

Is this a real job?

[Chris] Yeah. Real job. Paid.

- In pesos, probably, but it's still money.
- [all laugh]

In a top kitchen with a world-class chef.

Well, that is, uh, not terrible.

Not terrible at all.

[in Spanish] Well, mijo. I am...

so proud of you.

[Lupe laughs]

You'll come back more Mexican
than all your gringo cousins.

- [all laugh]
- [in English] Wait, when are you leaving?

Uh...

- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow? What about Pops? The hearing?

[Chris] Yeah, they lost a sous-chef,

and it's a "get your a*s out here
by tomorrow, or you don't have a job"

sort of thing.

I'm sorry.

[in Spanish] No, go.

Go with my blessing.

Hell,

maybe we'll both be in Mexico.

[in English] To visit me, Pop,
when you have your green card,

and then come right back here
to your home.

[Pop sighs deeply]

[soft ukelele playing]

[Lidia singing "Noche de Paz" in Spanish]

[Ana] We missed you at dinner, Amá.

[in Spanish] Your cousin serve the food
this time, or did he throw it again?

[laughing]

Because I'm still suffering from PSTD
or whatever that thing is called.

- [in English] PTSD.
- PTDS. Whatever. You know.

[in Spanish] That bullshit.

All right, people.
Is it Secret Santa time or what?

[Beatriz in Spanish] Go on.
You look like an elf.

[all laugh]

- [in English] Amá, for you.
- Mmm.

[in Spanish] Thank you, my love.

- [in English] Lupe.
- Ah, for me? [laughs]

- Let's see. A ver.
- Yes! This one's for me.

- Oh my gosh.
- Oh [laughing]

Okay. All right, who got me these?

- [laughing]
- Casimiro?

[in Spanish] No, not me. But I like them.

[laughing]

Look, "lippy stick."

[in English] "b*tch Red."

[in Spanish] Like me.

[laughing]

- [Nayeli in English] Me next.
- A ver.

[gasps]

- [Chris] What is it?
- Who gave me this?

- It's so expensive.
- [Chris] Let me see.

Oh! Wow!

[laughing]

What's the point of making money
if you can't spend it on your family?

Aw.

[in Spanish] How lovely.

My girl.

[in English] One more.

Pop. Oh my God.

Are you seriously giving me these?

[in Spanish] Pfft. You're the only one
who canhave them, mijo.

Take them to Mexico.

Make Mama Fina happy.

Mmm. [kisses]

[in English] I got you something too.

There you go.

[Ana] Wow!

[in Spanish]
Those boots are snake-K*llers!

[laughing]

- [Ana whistles]
- [in English] Wow, those are beautiful.

And you're gonna wear them
on your way out of court.

You're gonna put 'em on
and walk out with those boots.

[in Spanish] Thank you, mijo.

[Saraí in English]
Make this color two shades lighter.

Tell Ramos that we're not budging
on the employee break room.

- [woman] Okay.
- And bigger...

Uh...

- Can you give us a second, please?
- Of course.

[Chris] A break room? That's a good call.

Norma always said,
if we had a meditation room,

Erik and I would've hugged more. [scoffs]

The place is gonna look chic.

- And you hate that, right?
- No, no, no, I'm not here to fight.

Actually, I'm here because...

you were right, and I was an as*h*le.

It was never your fault
that my family lost the shop.

I know you wanted the best for me.

For us. It's just that the last time
I saw you, I was just a little too raw.

And, uh...

what can I say? I f*cked up.

Mm.

I've missed you.

I... I've missed your omelets.

You were such a d*ck, you know?

I know, 100%. Grade A.

I'm so sorry.

You know, what we have,

it's pretty special.

It is.

But, uh... I don't think I'm ready for it.

I definitely have a lot of work
to do on myself.

The point is...

I wanna be you when I grow up, Saraí.

I'm not the old Chris,
but I'm not the new Chris yet, so...

I gotta figure out who I am.

[Saraí] But can't we do that together?

You know, like a dish?

Crack some eggs, scramble it up.

Add a couple things.
And then we have an omelet.

Ah. I gotta do this on my own.

For me.

And so I can make my way back to you.

Chris...

You know where to find me.

[somber music playing]

[chuckling]

[speaking Spanish]

[Nayeli chuckles]

[Pop speaking Spanish]

Ana.

[sighs]

[in Spanish] Merry Christmas, my love.

I'm giving you Salma Hayek.

[in English] What?

Why?

[in Spanish] Because...

you love her like a member of your family.

She helped raise you.

[in English]
Thank you, Pop. Thank you so much.

[Yessika] What do you think?

I love it. [chuckles]

You don't know the strings
I had to pull to get you this place.

[exhales] Thank you. This is amazing.

And so are you.

Without Pop's co-signing,
even I couldn't have pulled this off.

[Ana] Yeah. Merry Christmas, Nayeli.

Maybe not so merry for you. [scoffs]

There's a downside
I don't think you're gonna love.

- Two bedrooms.
- Mm.

You and Nayeli
are gonna have to share a room.

Actually, no.

It's just gonna be Nayeli and my mom.

Girl's flying out of the nest.

Okay, Nike money. I see you.

- Yeah, yeah.
- [Yessika] You did good.

Even with the f*cking monitor
on his ankle,

you captured Pops' dignity, his strength.

It's a powerful-a*s image.

Thank you.

Yessika.

It feels different. You and me.

I can't get lost in you again.

I have to find me first.

'Cause I think there's more.

Of course.

- [Yessika cries]
- Of course there's more.

You're the best person I know.

[sighs]

[both chuckling]

- Let me help you.
- I got it.

- Let me help you.
- I told you I could do it.

[in Spanish] My chances
of staying in the country aren't good.

[in English] Sit with him.
He needs to talk to you.

[in Spanish] You need him too.

[scoffs]

[Pop in Spanish] Erik, sit down.

Lidia, sit down.

[Lidia sighs]

[Erik sighs]

[groans]

What I want for you
this Christmas, I can't gift you.

[in English] So I can't return it
to Target? Damn. I wanted a PS5.

[in Spanish] You can't buy this.

I want you to have
what I had with Mama Fina.

- [in English] That's a high bar, Pop.
- [Pop] No. No high bar, mija.

[in Spanish] We were never perfect.

It was never easy. But we were united.

And that type of love requires commitment.

[in English] I've already made that
commitment. I'm all in. Lidia knows that.

[in Spanish] You know that, Lidia?

[fire crackling]

[in English] I think
I have to go check on the baby.

[in Spanish] You have to give all
your energy to that woman and your baby.

Not to this old man.

When I go,

I want you and Lidia
to be in charge of the house.

[somber music playing]

Raise your family there.

[in English] The house? Really?

You're gonna let us live there rent-free?

[in Spanish] No, pendejo! You'd pay rent.
What would I live on in Mexico?

What do you think?

[in English] Thank you, Pop.

But...

no, thank you.

Lidia and I,

we're building a life up north.

[in Spanish] Well...

then what you need...

is this.

[kisses]

[sighs]

[in English] How did it get so hard?

[Lidia sighs]

You don't talk
about your dad and his addictions.

I don't talk
about my mom and her drinking.

And they're living
rent-free in our relationship.

[Erik] We don't have to be them, baby.

We'll do better.

We don't really know
that that's a promise we can keep.

But what we got is good.

It's so good.

God, the way our baby girl
looks at you and lights up.

How much she loves your peekaboos
and your ridiculous voices. [laughs]

You're right, my love.

We don't have to be them.

We can heal ourselves...

and be better.

I got you something.

What?

Just a little present.

- Ay.
- [chuckles]

I, uh... It's a book.

I... I put together
all your cute little drawings and stories

you left around the house.

[Erik] Cholita Bonita.

[laughs]

[Erik] This is awesome.

I did this?

Yes, you did this.

Uh...

I might have ad-libbed at the end.
A little something-something.

[Erik] "Never felt alone
'cause they had each other."

"And they lived happily ever after."

[chuckles]

[sighs]

Marry me.

What?

Marry me, Lidia.

Marry me.

[soft guitar playing]

[seagulls cooing]

[women vocalizing]

[women singing in Spanish]

Are you ready for tomorrow, jefe?

[in Spanish]
At least it's the same sky in Mexico.

Si.

The same sky I prayed to as a kid
so they wouldn't take my dad away.

But here we are.

The rancho breeds men of few words, mijo.

I'm sorry.

I never told you how much I admire you.

I love you.

[women continue singing in Spanish]

[Chris] My ball.

[laughing]

[Erik] Tag him!

No! [shouts]

[speaking indistinctly]

[laughing]

No, that's over.

[speaking Spanish]

[squealing]

[bailiff] All rise.

You may be seated.

Good morning, Mr. Morales.

Buenos días, señor.

Buenos días, señor.

I had an incredible
chorizo burrito this morning.

- What did you have for breakfast?
- Dígale.

Uh...

I had chilaquiles.

[clears throat]

Mr. Morales,
your visa is still not approved.

Let's move forward with his removal order.

I'm asking for a brief continuance
to allow for his visa's approval.

- This is a clerical error...
- Do you have another application?

Because there is no defense
against deportation filed in my courtroom.

No new application, Your Honor.

- But...
- Chilaquiles, red or green?

Red.

- Mr. Connel.
- [Connel] Your Honor.

[judge] USCIS was waiting
for a request for evidence

related to the visa application.
Has it been resolved?

Do you ever do
chilaquiles divorciados at your taquería?

- [Connel] Still pending.
- [Melinna] It'll be approved any minute.

That's right.
Your taquería shut down, didn't it?

Good thing you have your ads
in Times Square to help pick up the slack.

Ms. Barragán,

are we supposed to wait here
twiddling our thumbs?

No, Your Honor.

In fact, I have character witnesses

waiting outside right now to testify
to Mr. Morales's high character.

To support our request
to continue the hearing.

Very well.

[Ernesto]
I hate that my father is undocumented

because that gives people an excuse to
ignore how incredibly hardworking he is.

How he's up every morning with the sun.

A stubborn old viejo
that hasn't stopped working in 30 years

for those that he loves.

No, pues, es mi compa. El mero mero.

He would let me eat at Mama Fina's
at a discount for 30 years.

I had three tabs running y todo.

[Pancho] Casimiro...

Casimiro helped me keep my business
alive during the crash of 2008.

That's the kind of man you are, my friend.

When my parents moved here
and we didn't have much,

he put a few dollars in my backpack
every morning for my school lunch.

[judge] Ms. Barragán,
I'm ready to make a ruling.

Mr. Connel,
do you have a closing argument?

[scoffs]

All I have to say, Your Honor,

is these witnesses
have helped prove the point.

One ill*gal crosses the border and
generations of his offspring live off of...

Okay, Mr. Connel.

How long has the visa been pending?

Please confirm its status.

Your Honor, the petition just posted.

It's been approved.

I move to terminate the case for removal
so my client can apply for his green card.

Objection!
Given the respondent's criminal history,

this case should remain open while
Mr. Morales applies for his green card

in front of a judge, instead of USCIS.

[sighs]

- [somber music playing]
- [footsteps approaching]

[woman singing in Spanish]

[Pop in Spanish] Hello, Dad.

[whimsical music playing]

[in English]
All these emotions are making me hungry.

[Pop in Spanish] Let's go devour some real
tacos de carnitas michoacanas.

[Chris in English] Yes, about damn time!

When you go home after your honeymoon,
let Ana know I've eaten 102 tacos so far.

[Lupe] A hundred and two?

[Pop in Spanish] Well, right now,
I'm putting away 202 tacos.

[Chris in English] Pop, you can't beat me.
I'm a taco expert now.

[Pop in Spanish] Yeah? More expert
than your grandfather, cabrón?

[speaking indistinctly]

[woman singing in Spanish]