01x01 - In the best interest of the child

[bunniefuu]

You've reached Anne.

Please send an SMS

and don't leave a message,

because I won't listen to it anyway.

I'll call back as soon as possible.

Hi, Anne.

I'm at the hospital with dad.

You should be here now.

f*ck you for not being here.

Sorry.

I didn't mean it.

I just wish you were here with me.

I really miss you.

What are they thinking?

That people with bad prognoses

love cars?

Or knitting?

Hey! Are you interested in knitting?

Dad

Hey

I've read about this treatment

in Germany.

-We could talk to the doctor

-Don't talk to me like I'm a client.

Don't you think I've spoken

with old colleagues?

I know what kind of prognosis I have.

Sorry.

I HOPE YOUR f*cking FAMILY DIES

IN A FIRE, YOU CUN

-Ole Johan Middelthon?

-Yes.

g*dd*mn f*cking sh*t

-Don't get upset.

-Of course I'm upset!

We thought you were dying,

and then they just

System failures can occur

your job as well.

I'm just thinking about the guy

who thought he was healthy.

Right now, he's getting

a call telling him he has

an incurable brain tumor.

I've been lying awake a lot lately.

At night.

I've thought a lot

and been really scared.

And then I get my life back from that

idiot doctor who mixed up the tests.

For six months I've been thinking

about what happened to Anne.

How short and brutal life is.

I mean, I've had a great life.

Really.

But I want to be honest

with myself

and those around me

in the time I have left.

Okay.

-No, why did you do that?

-Do you have to talk to Finn?

He has to invite the kids

to Copenhagen himself.

Right. Why should you pay

for the tickets and book everything?

He's their father,

and he should do it himself.

It's bad enough

that he lives in Copenhagen.

They don't need to know

that he's an idiot as well.

They're going to realize it

sooner or later.

-Let it be later, then.

-Pernille

I really loved your mom,

and I'm happy

for the time we got together.

But the thing is

I'm g*y.

-Are you?

-Yes.

Oh my God, Dad. That's great.

Congratulations.

Or what should I say?

Congratulations?

Yes, that's nice.

-Thank you so much.

-Oh, Dad

Oh my God.

You know what?

I need to move my body.

Could you drive me up

to Sognsvann?

Yes, of course.

Is that why you spend

so much time at Sognsvann?

To meet guys?

I take walks in the woods every

single day. I'm an outdoorsman.

Sorry. I know.

You could write "healthy, outdoorsy

and g*y" in your dating profile.

"Healthy, outdoorsy and g*y"?

SUCK IT UP

I'm in a completely

different place now.

My sister My lawyer,

I mean, she says

that everything is in place for me

to take back custody of Linnea

pretty soon.

First we'll look at the possibility

of spending time

with Linnea without supervision.

Our main concern

is what's best for the child.

I have to take this.

-Sorry. I'm on call.

-It's fine.

We have to say something.

It's humiliating and embarrassing.

It's not embarrassing.

You can't use that word.

You're here to observe,

not moralize. Okay?

I just don't get how

she can function at work.

She's unbalanced, obviously,

but we need to see if she realizes it

herself first, and how she'll react.

We'll address the matter

of the pants later.

I'm sorry. I had to give

a second opinion on a patient.

-You want coffee, right?

-Yes, please. Thank you.

Martine?

Can you tell us what you think about

the help you've been offered?

Would you like milk in your coffee?

No, thank you. I'll take it black.

I'll have mine black too.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Would you mind driving?

My knees are hurting.

-Sure thing, boss.

-Thanks.

" Grown-up for a day.

I woke up with my knees hurting.

Grown-ups' knees usually hurt.

Then I heard a baby scream. Damn.

I walked to the crib and looked

down at an unhappy baby.

I didn't know how to breastfeed,

so I let it drink from the carton.

There was a man lying in my bed.

How could I have married him?

I couldn't take it anymore.

I told him I'm breaking up.

I packed his stuff, threw him out

and patted my baby's head.

Being single fits me so much better.

Then I treated all the girls in

my class to a pastry from the bakery.

All the boys in my class

had become criminals.

The boys wanted to ride in my

convertible, but I said, 'No way!'"

-Should I read the rest?

-That's okay.

It's really good.

You're very imaginative.

Do you want to go out for a bit,

so I can talk to your mom? Thank you.

I understand it's been

a tough year for you.

Are things going well with

your nephew's school change?

As well as can be expected, I guess.

Sorry for being so direct,

but I've lost a sister myself,

and I feel it's better

to ask directly.

That's absolutely fine.

Leo is living with us now

while his father's in rehab,

but I think we're managing well.

But it doesn't seem

like Sigrid is doing so well.

She often leaves class and goes

to the library or the school nurse

-because she's so sad.

-Okay.

She's angry because she had to change

bedrooms and stuff like that,

but I'm not under the impression

that she's sad.

No

Could this be a case

of the cobbler's children?

Since you work

with such difficult issues,

it can be easy

to trivialize your own.

-You might be right.

-Yeah?

I'll talk to her.

That's great.

That's all I wanted to say.

-Thanks for coffee.

-Thanks for coming.

Did you hurt yourself?

It's just my knee.

I'm getting a surgery.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

This might be a bit direct,

but I have two tickets

to Father John Misty this Friday.

Would you like to go with me?

That's nice.

I'll check my calendar and see

if I can get a babysitter.

I'll text you.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Watch out for Hans Petter. He had sex

with Sylvi's mother from the B class.

Okay.

And he ate breakfast at Harald's,

and Vilde said both her parents

got chlamydia from him.

That's not good.

It can make you sterile.

To be honest, I don't mind

if I don't get any more kids.

That would suit me just fine.

Tie your shoelace.

Couldn't you ride the bike home?

Isn't the point of the bicycle

to get some exercise,

since the Sats Elixia membership

I'm paying for is a complete waste?

Don't say Sats Elixia

when it's called Sats.

And don't say "exercise."

I can't stand those uphills.

And you owe me money.

Four thousand.

Have you noticed if Sigrid is sad

about what happened to Anne?

Her teacher says she runs out

of class because she's sad.

What did you say? Four thousand?

For a secondhand bike?

Isn't the whole point to pay less?

Why would you spend so much on a bike

when you're going to Argentina?

It's not coming

from my Argentina budget.

Really? What budget

is it coming from?

You're such a cheapskate.

You live for free in Grandpa's house

but won't give your kids a bike?

People shouldn't spoil their children

just because they can.

You don't want to be like Celine,

who got an apartment from her dad

for her 18th birthday.

I'm nothing like Celine.

That has to do with personality, too.

Yeah, you have

a really charming personality.

Sigrid's not sad. That's just

something we say to skip class.

Sigrid. Your phone is charged.

Can I get mine back?

I'll just send a picture.

Can we talk about why

you run out of class

because you're sad about aunt Anne?

I'm not sad about aunt Anne.

Well, I am, but I'm mostly sad

because Leo lives with us.

He takes up so much space,

and he's a boy, and he's annoying.

Hanna, how do I get Vegar Harm

to add me on Snapchat?

Sigrid, give me my phone.

-It's from "The Baseball Bat Case."

-Don't read it.

"I'll cut your c**t

with a dull pair of scissors."

-Why would they do that?

-They won't.

You know I work with people

who can get a little upset at times.

Everyone hates

the Child Welfare Services.

That's not true.

Many people are satisfied, but you

never read about those who get help.

You shouldn't skip class

and say it's because you're sad

when you're actually just mad

because Leo got your room.

Dad called and invited us

to Copenhagen this weekend.

Good. Sigrid?

We're going to a cool restaurant.

Gorilla in the Meat District.

Cool. Sigrid.

Why don't we ever do cool stuff

like that with you?

Can I get my phone?

Shouldn't you use a knife instead

of scissors to cut people?

By the way, I told Grandpa

you could drive him.

He wants to go clothes shopping.

Why did you say that?

I have to make dinner.

Can't we just eat a bit later?

You should be nice to your father.

He bought you a car

and doesn't even have a license.

Pørni's mad because someone wants

to cut her c**t with dull scissors.

Okay.

Have you told the kids

that I'm g*y yet?

No, not yet. I thought it would

be good if Leo was there, too.

I don't think there's any point

in waiting.

FROM HANS PETTER:

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I don't know

if this looks good on me.

It's really nice.

It looks great on you. Take it.

WAITING FOR A REPLY

FROM THE BABYSITTER

-Who are you texting?

-No one.

FROM HANS PETTER: WE CAN PLAY

"I'VE NEVER" AT MY PLACE AFTER.

THE BABYSITTER SAID NO. SORRY!

But

What about this one?

I think the other one was nicer.

Nicer?

I've had nice shirts for 71 years.

I'll take this one.

Buy both, then.

There.

-Turn signal.

-Yes.

Just pull it. It's automatic.

Stop!

Slow on the gas.

Slow. Not that slow. Don't

You have to use the turn signal

when entering a roundabout.

Otherwise, you'll fail

the driver's test.

Maybe.

But it's very unconstructive

to yell at the driving student.

My driving instructor says so.

He's got two sets of pedals.

It's a bit different.

Would you like some wine?

I think I have to drive

Sigrid later, so no.

Sigrid? She can take the bus!

Here you go.

Thanks.

FROM FINN: CAN THE GIRLS BRING

SLEEPING BAGS,

SO WE DON'T HAVE TO WASH BED LINEN?

-I want to change my name.

-Okay.

-To Baldwin.

-Why?

I've always been fond

of Alec Baldwin.

I see. Go ahead, then.

You're crazy.

How are you going to do that?

Register it in the National

Population Register?

Baldwin Middelthon?

I'm just trying to reclaim

some lost youth.

Okay.

-Hi.

-Wow!

-Cool shirt.

-Okay.

Your dad called me today

and asked if you could call him.

He wants to talk to you.

Could you do that?

A'ight.

won't listen to it anyway.

I'll call back as soon as possible.

Hi.

Dad isn't sick after all.

Jesus Christ. The hospital f*cked up.

I was so mad. You would've been

really embarrassed over me.

Dad came out of the closet.

In the car, on the way home.

But you've always said he was g*y.

Leo's still very quiet,

and I don't know anything

about raising boys.

He still won't talk to Charlie.

I don't know. Maybe he needs

more time, you know?

That's it, I guess.

If you don't stop feeding

the wild cats,

the property value will decrease.

Are you mad because

you bought that shirt?

We can go and return it,

but without any driving practice.

Okay. I'll be down in five.

We will take this

to county authorities.

I will also emphasize

the formal errors in that complaint.

Absolutely. And we will assess

custody issues on an ongoing basis.

Good.

Right. Thank you.

Thank you.

Formal errors, my a*s, Yngvar!

It's one incorrect date.

You have to be accountable.

-Do you want to drive me home?

-Yes.

You're destroying families.

You know that, right?

My sister has agreed

to all voluntary measures.

There's no reason she shouldn't

have contact without supervision.

-I hope you sleep well at night.

-Do you?

Do you think that your sister has

shown adequate behavioral changes?

Last time we came on a home visit,

she wasn't wearing pants.

Linnea's a well-adjusted child.

She's well-behaved, and I've never

heard her complain about anything.

Well-adjusted children are angry,

disgusting, gross

and don't do what they are told.

You know nothing about

how a traumatized child behaves.

-You should

-Hey.

Will you drive me home?

I'm so glad

I have disgusting children.

What are yours like?

You mean the twins?

They're not disgusting yet.

-They'll get there.

-I hope so.

Would you like to come up?

For a coffee?

-Now?

-Maj-Lis has the twins.

And we haven't talked

about what happened at Parkteatret.

Nothing much happened at Parkteatret.

No, but I don't usually

make out with colleagues.

-You don't?

-No, I don't.

And I don't want things

to be weird between us.

Things won't be weird between us.

No? Come in for some coffee, then.

I'm just thinking that you have

the twins, and I have lots of kids.

There's so much going on.

It's not a situation

that screams "standing 69."

I actually meant coffee.

But I could have squeezed in

a standing 69, too.

It's a difficult position.

-Really?

-I think so.

-Let me know if you change your mind.

-See you.

Sigrid, could you please come here?

How was your day, Leo?

Leo?

How was your day?

Fine. The teacher stopped

calling me Leon.

-That's good.

-Coming.

You're a snail.

Don't you hate being late?

Yeah.

But someone peed on the toilet seat,

and I had to clean it up.

Take a yogurt if you're hungry

before practice.

You have to pick them up

at the airport.

They haven't visited you

since you moved, right?

I'll take a cab, then.

-Yes.

-It's a bit extravagant, but

Sigrid, do you want to talk to Dad?

Hello? Sigrid?

Hey, Dad! I almost scored,

and I had two assists.

That's great, honey.

Maybe you're the next Camilla Herrem.

-I'm looking forward to seeing you.

-Me too. Bye!

Bye.

Does dad think I play handball?

He probably just misspoke.

Can you hold this?

I have to take a pill.

-Can I have one of those?

-Are you crazy? They're drugs.

-Have you started doing drugs?

-No, it's for my knee, you idiot.

I'm having surgery on my knee

next week, right? You remember?

You have to get someone else

to drive you.

Yes, yes, yes. "Me, me, me."

"I bought you a present.

Newly sharpened and ready to use."

That's nice. So you don't just

get messages about dull scissors.

No, that was nice.

Sigrid! Can you get the door?

It's Lara.

-Can we make muffins, please?

-Yes. After dinner.

And you'll clean up after, right?

I don't want a messy kitchen.

Did you know that Shawn Mendes never

says no to a selfie? That's his rule.

Cool. Is he an actor?

Stay relevant, Pørni.

-The door's open.

-Lara, come.

-Hey!

-Hey. Finally.

Wow. It's so tidy.

I can't start the weekend

with a messy house.

Right.

But hey, how lucky am I that

Lara's sleeping over here tonight?

Okay?

I've been invited to a concert.

With someone named Father John Misty.

And you'll never guess

who invited me.

Hans Petter.

The teacher.

-Don't tell the kids.

-No, of course not.

You know what?

I don't give a f*ck

that he's 28 or whatever.

Since Lasse finally moved out,

I'll be helping myself

to multiple servings from the buffet.

-And so will you.

-No, I won't.

No, that's right.

You're having a quiet night at home,

as usual.

Thank God.

Hey.

Would you like to see the draft for

the poster for the spring concert?

-I'd love to.

-Look at this.

There.

You're good. You should work

with that kind of stuff.

Is it called "Of Course It Hurts

when Buds Break"?

Isn't that stupid?

Annicken recites that poem first.

People should want

to go to the concert.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Hi, Tellef.

-Hi, Pørni.

Hi, you.

-And Martin, too.

-Cool pants.

Thank you.

-Hey.

-Hi, girl.

How's your mom?

She's fine.

She's home on leave right now.

Let me know when you leave.

I have a book for her.

Sure.

I can have friends over.

Don't give me that look.

I'm not, but I would appreciate

knowing in advance.

-It's lame not having enough pizza.

-Don't say "lame."

Can't you just order more?

-Pizzabakeren is better than Peppes.

-Okay.

No wonder you never get laid.

You're running

a full-time youth club.

-Okay. Bye.

-Bye.

-Have fun.

-You too.

Just promise me one thing.

Use a condom.

-What?

-You never know.

Even if he's a teacher

with a hipster beard.

-Bye!

-Bye. Have fun.

Hey, you.

Dad called. He said you won't answer

the phone when he's calling.

-I don't want to talk to him.

-I get that you're pissed,

but you really should speak with him

before the confirmation.

Why are you protecting him?

He k*lled your sister.

No, it was a road accident.

Do I have to take care of a guy

in a wheelchair and feel bad for him?

No. I don't know,

but we have need a plan,

and we have to involve Charlie.

Leo.

You've reached Anne.

Please send an SMS

and don't leave a message,

because I won't listen to it anyway.

I'll call back as soon as possible.

Hi.

I just don't know what to do

about Leo.

He's pissed at Charlie.

They haven't talked since you

And it's not like I can

make him, either.

Jesus!

-You scared me!

-I'm the one who should be scared!

You went to the garage, closed

the door and didn't come back.

Give me a break. I don't have plans

to k*ll myself just yet.

I'm just zoning out.

You locked yourself in the bathroom

when Anne and I were kids.

When we were exhausting.

I wasn't the exhausting one,

but when Anne was nagging and

Anne didn't nag.

No, she was just a bit eager

and loved life.

I miss her.

So do I. Every day.

Why didn't you tell us anything?

About how you were doing?

We would have handled it.

Maybe I couldn't handle it.

It's hard to admit to others what

you haven't admitted to yourself.

And I can always hope love

will come my way,

in the autumn of my life.

I got this

from my driving instructor.

It's just weed.

Nothing scary.

I invited him out, and he said yes.

Stephen, the driving instructor.

Do you have to go full-on Woodstock

because you got the gift of life?

He said it puts you in a good mood.

Maybe it will help your knee.

It's just the thing for zoning out.

Can't you do that at your place?

You have such great speakers

down here,

and Stephen says that listening

to music while smoking a joint

is really chill.

Yes, he says "chill"

because he's younger than me.

That's no big deal.

We're both adults.

Sure. Just

-Can you turn on the fan, at least?

-Yeah.

So, any questions?

Anything you're wondering about?

The passports are in Hanna's

backpack. Anything else?

-Why does the car smell like hashish?

-It's not hashish, it's weed.

-Any questions about Grandpa?

-Yes.

I have to go with you to the airport

not because Grandpa's sick,

but because he's g*y?

We knew that.

Didn't you? I figured it out when

he joined the Conservative Party.

I've had my suspicions, but I thought

that you're not g*y

before you say you are.

If you don't have any questions,

I won't make a big deal out of this.

You make big deals

out of everything.

"Big Deal" is your middle name.

Sigrid

Dad was really sorry, okay?

But when Iben's depressed,

she can't handle a lot of commotion.

Iben's a f*ck-face.

Iben is sick.

If he prefers a sick b*tch to you,

I guess you're the f*ck-face.

Can I have some Oreos?

I get that you're really

disappointed right now,

but you can't call

your mother a f*ck-face, Sigrid.

Sigrid!

-Sorry! Are you okay, Mom?

-Are you stupid?

Her knee hurts like hell!

-But I

-Are you brain-damaged?

Just take her

and buy those f*cking Oreos.

Hi.

Just take a deep breath.

Count backwards from ten

when we put the mask over your mouth.

Can you lift your head?

There. Does that feel okay?

Count backwards from ten.

Ten, nine

eight

Hi.

Just relax.

We don't make any mistakes here.