01x05 - Mother of the year.

[bunniefuu]

-Hi.

-Hi.

Hello.

Oh my. Have you been baking again?

Yes. Almond cake.

It's Nina's birthday.

-Happy birthday.

-Thanks.

We have the counseling meeting now,

right? At ten?

Yeah. I think Trond

and I are supposed to do it.

Trond isn't familiar with that case.

Pørni? Can you step in here a moment?

Yes, of course.

Maybe he's having

an employee interview. That's new.

I got the mail about

the summer party, I just haven't

-Hi.

-Hi. Hello.

This is Mette Isaksen from

the Child Welfare Services in Alna.

-Hi. Pernille Middelthon.

-Mette.

Would you close the door

and have a seat?

Well, I think I'll get straight

to the point.

You've gotten a notice.

Yes, I got poop in the mail

from Torunn not too long ago.

Yes, but this is more personal.

You've gotten a notice.

-A letter of concern.

-A letter of concern or a notice?

It's an anonymous letter of concern

regarding child neglect.

That's just Torunn.

She's threatened to cut my vag*na

with a dull pair of scissors.

I have an appointment at ten.

Can I leave?

We've looked into it,

and it's not Torunn.

We believe this is a highly credible

letter of concern.

I understand this is quite unpleasant

for you, Pernille,

but it's so serious that we have

to open a case. It's routine.

I've asked Trond

to step in for you today.

Mette here is handling the case.

I thought you might need a day off.

You never take any time off.

I'm not having a f*cking day off.

I'm going to court at one o'clock.

Don't make any procedural errors,

or we'll end up in Strasbourg.

SUCK IT UP

She went nuts when she got

that d*ck-pic!

I don't get why girls are so offended

by getting a d*ck-pic.

You could just delete it

or tell them to f*ck off.

Pørni, Tellef made out

with a 40-year-old on Saturday.

Seriously?

-Mom, can I help you?

-No, thank you.

No! Don't touch the meat

without washing your hands!

Sorry.

What's up with you?

Sorry, Sigrid. I'm just

a bit stressed, okay? Sorry.

Tell us what happened.

You're dying to tell.

I hooked up with that one chick,

and she was, like, 40.

Hi, darling. Sorry for barking

like that. I don't want to do that.

It's okay, but can I have

1,000 kroner?

For what?

I can buy Frøya's iPhone X,

because she's got an 11 Pro.

-Don't you have an iPhone?

-Yeah, an 8. Everyone teases me.

Sigrid, I'll develop fatigue syndrome

from all the new stuff you want

-I knew it! b*tch!

-Sigrid, I don't want to fight!

Sorry!

You've reached Anne.

Please send an SMS

and don't leave a message,

because I won't listen to it anyway.

I'll call back

as soon as possible. Bye!

Hi.

I'm just wondering

if I'm a really shitty mother.

Some people think so.

I think Torstein and Birgitte have

sent a letter of concern about me.

Because they want Leo

to come to the west coast and

I'm just not sure.

Maybe that's what he should do.

Start over somewhere new.

I want him to stay here, but

I'm just wondering if

Maybe it's because

if he's here, I kind of

haven't lost you completely.

Sorry.

Now I'm the one sucking

on the lollipop of grief.

Exploiting you in the worst way.

As you always say.

Bye.

I have my own car.

Let's talk tomorrow. Okay.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Everything all right?

-Yes.

God, how strange. I

-I almost called you yesterday.

-Okay.

It's so stupid.

I've gotten a notice of concern.

A notice of concern?

And I thought

It's not your problem, but I really

wanted to talk to you about it.

I don't know

-Hi, are we leaving?

-Yeah. Yes.

Yes. This is Pernille.

Pernille, Therese, Therese, Pernille.

Oh, so you're Pernille.

Therese. Nice to meet you.

We have to leave

for that arraignment.

-And I got a table at Mother India.

-Okay. That's great.

Nice to meet you.

-Are you coming?

-Yes, right behind you.

Sorry, I have to

You've gone away from the long t*ts?

Yeah. You can't get everything

you wish for.

-See you around.

-Yeah.

The best worker will get

100 kroner from Grandpa.

Can't the kids help out a little

without getting paid?

How prissy can you get?

Can't I just be a grandparent

without having to educate them?

Hanna? Can't you help a little?

Don't just stand there.

Like pretty little Sigrid?

Can't you just hire someone?

Hi, Vemund.

What, is he outside?

Okay. You have a police alarm, right?

You'll have to The police will

be there in four minutes.

-Hanna!

-Can you call Madjid?

He's on call.

I'll send you his number.

Hey, you! Stop it! How old are you?

-I'm bleeding.

-She started it.

We'll go in and have a look at it.

-Psycho kid!

-Sigrid, sweetheart

Grandpa? Can I get 1,000 kroner

if I clean your place?

Hell will freeze over before I let

anyone else wash my apartment.

Washing is my Bikram Yoga.

Something else, then?

I could cut your hair?

I'm growing it out.

-Doesn't it need stitches?

-No, it's okay.

-Have you finished the PowerPoint?

-Yes, almost.

-Can you get the door?

-Sure.

-Does it hurt?

-It hurts when you press that hard.

I'm a colleague of your mother's.

Is she home?

Yeah.

Hi! I thought I'd stop by.

-What a lovely home.

-Thanks.

-Hi, are you Sigrid?

-No, Hanna.

Have you hurt yourself?

No, Mom hit me while yelling,

"It's for the good of the child."

That's not funny!

That notice of concern is serious!

-Hi. Do we have a visitor? How nice.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-She's fine.

-Sorry, Mom. I was just joking.

-What happened?

Someone has sent a notice of concern

to the Child Welfare Services.

They're taking it seriously,

and I'm stressed out. That's all.

It's probably that damn neighbor.

It's revenge.

Remember how angry he was when

I chopped down that birch in 2010?

Not everything is about you, Dad.

Okay?

Sorry. You brought cake

and everything.

It didn't look like you

were doing too well yesterday,

so I thought I'd bake you a cake.

It's a cream cake.

-I'd invite you in for coffee, but

-I was just dropping by to say hi.

-Nice meeting you.

-Good of you to come by. Bye.

-Did Vemund call you?

-Yeah, we spoke.

-Okay, great.

-Bye!

Bye!

Okay, guys.

No reason to mope.

Things work out for good girls.

If those who don't want a hole

in their heads

or aren't visiting their dad

could help Grandpa in the yard,

-that would be great.

-Can I come?

No, you have a soccer match at three.

Astrid will drive you.

Leo, I'm just going to change.

-Does it hurt a lot?

-Nah, it's okay.

Let's go help Grandpa.

-Sure?

-Yes, it's fine.

Aren't we driving?

You don't think it's Torstein

and Birgitte?

Who sent the letter of concern?

They've implied they want custody

of you while Charlie is gone.

But they aren't that crazy, are they?

Okay, that was a lot

in one go, but

If you think I want to live

in Granvin with the Pentecostals,

then you're crazier than I thought.

I might join

the district team, and

And I have a new girlfriend

in the D class.

You have a girlfriend?

That's great!

Who is it? Who is she? Or he?

No, she's great. She plays handball,

and her name is Rim.

-She's nice.

-She could come for dinner.

I won't make a fuss.

You always make a fuss.

You're the king of fussing.

But seriously,

don't let them make me move.

That's the last thing I want.

I'd rather live here with you.

You're chill.

Like gangsta, or boss.

You think I'm boss?

I'm just kidding.

Can I move I can take it now.

-Can't I?

-Yes, you can.

Yes.

You have to say check.

f*ck, that's right. Check.

Well, that's too bad.

This is Mette Isaksen from the Child

Welfare Services. Leave a message.

Hi, Mette,

this is Pernille Middelthon.

I should tell you something.

It's a long story,

but I have temporary custody over

my deceased sister's son.

His grandparents would like

to take over custody.

If the notice of concern is coming

from the west coast, now you know.

I'm just thinking everything needs

to be transparent.

But we'll speak on Tuesday. Bye!

-No!

-You should have taken that one.

Leo?

Can you go and buy a Red Bull?

And a coffee.

Would you like a coffee?

-Yes, please.

-Sure thing.

Okay.

-What's this? Red Bulls galore?

-Yeah, and beer in the weekends.

I'll just get straight to the point.

Torstein and Birgitte told me

they want to apply

for temporary custody of Leo.

But we agree that it's best for him

to stay with me, right?

You know, I was going to talk

to you about this.

I think it's best for Leo

if we live in Granvin.

Why?

Well

If I get a sentence

I don't think I will,

but I can't move back to Asker.

The entire house is Anne.

All the neighbors and friends

I'll just be the guy

who k*lled his wife.

I think it's good for both Leo and me

if we move to Granvin

when things change.

What will you do there?

I can't work as a dentist anymore.

Maybe I can help my brother out

at his practice.

I think Leo should have a say.

He's starting to settle down

and should have a say.

No, this is a decision for adults,

not the child.

You taught me that, Pørni.

Okay.

Hey, I'm

I'm really grateful

for everything you've done.

And for not being angry with me.

I know you have every reason to be.

Yes.

There you go.

They didn't have Red Bull.

What did you decide? Do you want

tapas in the confirmation?

No, Auntie P's homemade lasagna.

Lasagna for everyone?

That's impressive, Pørni.

Yeah, I'm the lasagna boss.

That's the way it is.

We have to leave. We have

to pick up Sigrid from her match.

-Good seeing you again, Charlie.

-You too.

Come here.

Thanks for the game.

-I love you.

-Love you too.

Sorry, Frøya is always so slow

in the shower. Her hair is so thick.

No, that's fine. I got a snap

from Grethe. You won the match!

-Was it a good match?

-Sigrid screwed up the penalty kick.

-It happens.

-No, it doesn't.

You had two assists, and we won.

It could happen to anyone.

Yeah, it can happen to anyone.

Who should I drive home first?

Drop us off at the pizza place.

Are you having pizza? How nice.

Sigrid, do you have money?

Or you can't

Sigrid can't go with you.

Grandpa is coming over.

Coming over? You live together.

He's a bit peculiar about that.

He insists that he's coming over.

Here we are.

-Thanks for driving us.

-My pleasure.

-Have fun.

-Yeah.

-Bye!

-Bye.

What kind of pizza are you having?

Sorry, I was a bit slow getting

that you didn't want to join.

It's fine.

Frøya is nice.

-Is she in the C class?

-She's a c**t.

Sigrid, why do you say

things like that?

You can just tell me

what's on your mind.

I do.

No, you don't.

I need 1,000 kroner,

but you won't give them to me.

You're 12 years old.

You don't need an iPhone X.

I need Mario Badescu stuff

for pimples.

Hey

I can buy you pimple products

if you need them.

You don't have to.

If anything has happened between you

and Lara, or anything else

We could invite her to a sleepover

on Friday. And Frøya, too.

-The confirmation is on Saturday.

-It'll be fine.

I owe Frøya 1,000 kroner, okay?

Okay. What did you buy?

Nothing!

Can't you please just give it

to me, Mom? Please?

I promise to call you Mommy

for a week. I have to pay her!

If I don't, she'll send it

to everyone in class.

What is she sending?

We took silly pictures at Lara's,

and now Frøya is blackmailing me.

She'll send it to everyone in class

if I don't pay by Wednesday.

It's so embarrassing,

but please don't yell at me, Mom.

You've said a thousand times

not to take nudes.

But that's not what they were.

It was just for fun.

We were just playing around, and now

the whole class will see my butt.

I'll have to k*ll myself

or move to the Steiner School.

No.

Sweetheart.

I'll take that worry.

I'm taking it. It's mine.

I'll fix this.

Okay? No one will see your butt.

And I'll give you 1,000 kroner,

but you'll buy something you want.

And you're never going

to k*ll yourself. Okay?

And maybe more importantly,

you're never going

to the Steiner School.

Or I'll k*ll you myself.

There's one more thing.

Can you promise you won't get mad?

I won't get mad.

It was me.

I sent the letter of concern.

Okay.

I'm really sorry.

Sorry.

It's okay.

Okay?

Hey

It's okay.

Sweetheart. It's okay.

Sweetheart.

Hi, you've reached Yngvar Grotheim

at the Child Welfare Services.

Leave a message after the beep.

Hi Yngvar, it's Pørni.

That letter of concern

It was my daughter who sent it.

I suggest that we talk tomorrow.

Bye.

Dad?

That weed you had for knees

and moods Do you have any more?

-Is that a good idea?

-Bring it on.

I forgot this makes you so thirsty.

I won't lecture you on how

to be a mother,

but shouldn't there be consequences

for Sigrid?

No, I have a principle.

I can freak out about little things,

but if they really screw up,

I'll be there for them.

What a shitty principle!

And that doesn't help one bit!

Let the frustration out,

or it will build up in the body.

You know, no man wants

a ticking time b*mb.

That's fine, because

I'm not interested in any men.

Don't you think I can tell

when you've met a man you like?

Dad

Can you make dinner on Tuesday?

I have to pick up the girls.

Of course I can,

but what's up with that guy?

Nothing. I dumped him.

Besides, he met someone with

pearl-shell buttons on her cardigan

and pearl earrings.

-Yeah, they're the worst.

-The worst.

He's a lot younger than me

and has two small kids.

He'd last for two years

before he ended it.

Optimistic, as always.

Maybe when I'm sure

Leo won't fall apart

and Sigrid is off to high school.

Then I can meet someone.

You're waiting for menopause.

Interesting choice.

Dad?

Can't you please just help me

get through this week?

Letter of concern, confirmation

with the Pentecostals on Saturday

and the "Of Course It Hurts

when Buds Break" concert on Sunday.

Of course I can.

You know what I think?

I think you're my best girlfriend.

That's a huge compliment.

Hey, be careful now.

-Pørni

-I'm in complete control.

Hi!

Are you Rim?

Gosh. Hi.

It's so nice to meet you. Hi.

Don't stay out late.

You have school tomorrow, right?

-Sure.

-You're so cute.

-You're lovely.

-No fuss.

Sorry. I'm not going to make a fuss.

You should come for dinner someday.

I'd love to.

She's really cute.

That's Pørni.

She's very nice.

She is.

-Should we go?

-Yes.

We won't be pursuing this notice

any further.

Of course not.

But let me give you some advice

as a colleague.

I'd put some effort into figuring out

why Sigrid went as far

as sending in a false letter

of concern.

We're talking about a child

who feels she hasn't

been seen lately.

But I feel I have a good grasp

on the parental role.

I just miss certain things,

like everybody else.

Especially after my sister died.

But I feel I can be very clear

when it's needed.

Hi.

Hi, girls.

Mommy, can you please wait

in the car, like a normal person?

-Have you started calling her Mommy?

-Absolutely not. It's just this week.

I just wanted to see the locker rooms

that the parents have financed.

Where's Frøya?

She's just being slow in the shower,

as usual.

Okay. You can go wait in the car.

There are smoothies

in the usual place.

Hi, Frøya.

-Hi. I'll be there soon.

-Okay.

Sorry for being slow.

I just have to be thorough

with the conditioner,

since my hair is so thick.

That's okay. Thick hair is nice.

Frøya, I wanted to ask you something.

Does Sigrid owe you 1,000 kroner?

Oh, no, she doesn't owe me.

She wants to buy

my old Michael Kors bag.

It costs 5,000, so I said

she could have it for 1,000.

Right. But if I have a picture of you

in the shower here on my phone,

would that be worth 1,000 kroner?

Or more like 10,000?

Did you take a picture of me

in the shower?

You're going to give me your phone,

and we're going to delete

the picture of Sigrid.

Then we'll delete

the picture I have of you.

But I just have to say

that what you've done is not okay.

You're a nasty girl.

You can't speak to me like that.

My mom's a lawyer.

Really? Then she knows

what you've done is highly ill*gal.

Give me your phone,

or the picture won't just go

to your class,

but to the whole grade

and all the schools in Oslo.

-What's your code?

-One, two, three, four.

You should change that.

What were you thinking?

I wasn't going to send it.

-Are there any more than these?

-No.

There.

Aren't you going to delete

the picture of me?

Are you crazy?

Do you really think I took a picture

of you in the shower? I'm not insane.

We're done with this now.

Okay, Frøya?

I'll drive you home. Okay?

I got a smoothie for you, too.

From Municipal-Bjørnar:

You said things wouldn't get weird,

but they did, didn't they?

I don't like it, but I like you.

I love you!

I love y

No!

No, no, no!

No!

No, no, no, sorry!

That was meant for Sigrid!!!

sh*t.