01x01 - Mess Rehearsal

[bunniefuu]

The UK's first Drag Race
superstar is...

The Vivienne.

Second day of rehearsals.

Tomorrow we've got opening night
in Newcastle.

There's a lot to learn.

What, yesterday?

So prepared? Maybe not.

Ready? Yeah, why not?

Oh, there she is, everybody.

I went to the wrong place.

Let's go ahead and line it up.

Let's run over it
a couple of times.

So, one, two, hold, two.

Tap, bounce, five, six,
seven, eight. Yeah.

Six, seven.

I'm excited to show them
what we've got,

as our sexy girls
in our royal little outfits.

Let's see that mesh
with the music.

Whenever you're ready,
I'm ready.

I'm not gonna be a b*tch
on camera.

I was gonna be a b*tch
on camera then,

but I'm not gonna be.

Stoning my skirt,
which is joyous.

Got another three wigs to do.

Oh, God, I'm knackered.

And how long were we
dancing for yesterday?

Oh, it was, like, six hours.

- Six hours.
- 16 hours.

And I have to stay
another hour for my solo.

And then we're due in here
till 1:00.

Then we've got tour break
and then to the theater.

Now I'm going for a ciggie
or summat.

Or summat!

Hey, girls!

- Hi!
- Hi!

Is that guy still doing kung fu?

No, is he?

Some fella's sitting there
before doing kung fu.

And he was all like...

It was like,
"You can't smoke there, pet."

Um, you can't sit there.

- You have to be on this side.
- You can't smoke there.

Yeah, you're not allowed
to smoke there.

I'm not gonna lie.
The tensions are very high.

Um, people are stressed,
people are tired.

- You're gonna fog up the lens.
- Oh, sorry.

Don't listen to dance teachers.

They say you need to stretch
and drink loads of water.

Evidently,
we're amazing dancers.

- This is all you need.
- We are prime beef.

I have been compared
to Darcey Bussell.

Everyone has a lift,
apart from me.

Dancers took one look and went,
"We won't try the lift."

It's RuPaul's Drag Race, not
World's Strongest Man, dear.

Let's do this opening number
one more time,

and then I'm gonna start
the closing.

Okay.

My name is Chancelor Dayne.

I am the choreographer

and creative director
for Voss Events.

We're an American company that
produces all of the tour content

for RuPaul's Drag Race.

I am worried that their nerves
will get the best of them,

because it's... you know,
like I said, it's a lot.

Turn and turn
and feel your puss and go.

A lot of these girls
have never performed before.

They've done the show,

but they've never performed
on the stage before.

So this is their first time
getting the opportunity

to, you know, perform
for live audiences and stuff.

Let's do the trio.

This is for you
when you're doing, like...

You know that sh*t, yeah?

No, it's actually really good.

Feels like a dance challenge
back on the Race,

but there's no critiques
and no Michelle or Ru,

so even less stress.

I've never done
anything like this before.

I think everyone's
picking it up quite well.

Obviously, the girls
that have been in, like,

musical theater
for half their life

are probably gonna get it
quicker than others.

It's nice to have eye contact
with people like Divina,

to be, like, yes,
it's gonna be okay.

Austyne,
when can we run our thingy?

I was gonna say now,
but Tommy's not here.

But do you wanna
just go through me?

- Yeah.
- Fine.

My solo number, they're
gonna be on dog leads,

with chokers,

and I'm just conscious
that I might k*ll them.

- I'm his pet.
- So... yeah.

Rescued me from the RSPCA.

I mean, someone had to.

You were unlovable,

but, you know,
I saw something within you.

He has faith in me.

I think it's gonna be fine.

You know, we've got
each other's backs.

Whoosh!

Do you feel
the sexual tension in the room?

Filth.

Stay center!

Two, three, four, five and six.

- Y'all.
- Sorry!

Okay, come on, y'all.

Whew. All right,
this is looking rough.

The choreography doesn't change
the next time you do it.

So whatever corrections
that you see yourself doing

or whatever I give you, just
apply it the next time, yeah?

You have to take
responsibility for it,

because I can give you
the information,

but you retaining it
is your responsibility, yeah?

So retain it.

I know what I'm doing.

Up, down. Up, down.

That was the best time
you've done it.

Oh! We finally did a run-through
of the whole finale.

It looked amazing.

I like the coronation music
when I walk on.

We're supposed to be
out of the room by now,

so everybody be at the theater
at 3:00 unless otherwise told.

It's been long and tiring.

Yesterday, everyone
was near about to faint

near the end of the day.

But today, we're ready
to get into the theater,

and then not practice, and not
do it in front of a mirror.

Because the mirror, it helps you
the whole way through it.

I think as soon as we get there
without the mirror,

we'll be f*cked.

- Hi.
- Let's see your legs.

I'm proud of mine.
Aah, aah. Never mind.

This is for our documentary,
Baga Chipz and Friends.

Everyone loves you. I love you.

Oh, thank you, darling.

Me and my girlfriend,
we're big fans of yours.

Aw! So do a little picture
or something.

Yeah, give me a pic.

Amazing!

I'm a bit sweaty, sorry.

I'm humbled to be

one of the most famous women
in Britain at the moment.

You know what I mean?

I think I was number two
in a poll.

No, I think the queen
was number one,

and I was number two.

No, Kate Middleton
didn't even make top 10, luv.

But, yeah,
I think I was number two.

But I think Divina
was number 800.

I don't wanna ruin anything,

but I'm doing
a lot of television work.

Do you know what I mean?

And they want me to be
the new face of Crimewatch.

More music in the pipeline,
many shows.

I'm on Lorraine, I'm on...
Oh, it's just nonstop.

- It's nonstop.
- Nonstop.

I haven't had time
to have a sh*t.

Divas to the dance floor,
damn it!

Hi, guys.
Welcome to the theater.

We are here
and we are ready to give you

the best rehearsal
you'll ever see in your life.

And hopefully,
everything goes right.

I've got a throat infection.

It hit me yesterday.

I went, ahh. Oh, I'm gonna die.

I can sing, whatever happens.

I've always got my voice.

Always got my voice, dear.

Even when
it's not working properly,

I can still manage somehow.

Putting me shoes on.

- With a bit of help.
- Uh!

Oh, I'm gonna die.

How do I look?

It's quite a rake from here,
isn't it?

It's like that, though.

It's like a f*cking death slide.

Probably wearing that.

I haven't got any other
white shoes, though.

The thing going with this
is probably broken ankles.

Let's take it from the top.

Can I have Austyne
step in for Vinegar?

Where's Vinegar?

Oh, that's
a bloody good question.

She's probably getting shagged.

Vinegar's in a cab
on her way here.

And one, two, three.

Queens, make sure
you watch your dress.

Don't let anybody
step on your train, Divina.

- I couldn't get further.
- Yeah, you could have.

No, no, in time for the beat.

If you could hold your skirt
with something,

because she can't get around
your train.

No, I'm behind Sum Ting.

- No, I'm in front of you.
- Oh.

All running swimmingly,
as you can see.

That's just what
dress rehearsal's for, isn't it?

We're going to k*ll each other.

People of the United Kingdom,

your queen has arrived.

When I get that,
I'll be switching over.

Yeah, forget that.

Gothy, you don't even
need to walk that far.

That's perfect.

All right, let's do it again.

Four, five, and six.

I'm not gonna lie.

I thought they were gonna be
nice and cute and in,

but they really went regal
with it.

So I understand, but...

Drag life.

Okay, cool.

Stressful. As you could see
from the first episode,

I'm not the greatest dancer.

So this is hard,
but it's so much fun.

I mean, my costume's fab, so...

- Late today.
- Why?

I was asleep.

Everyone thinks I was,
like, getting a shag.

- Having a bang.
- Having a bang.

But I really wasn't. I wish.

Vinegar Strokes is late
to every rehearsal.

Do not book her for any shows.
She will be late.

Excuse me. I am not late
for every rehearsal.

Just every rehearsal
we've had so far. So...

- So every rehearsal.
- Yeah.

The belief system
is dead right now, isn't it?

Well, good thing
the meet-and-greet's

at the beginning of the show,
so nobody has to meet you.

- Thank God.
- Babes, I never believed in you.

Why don't you give us
an acting challenge, Crystal?

Three, two, one, go.

She can't do a bit.

We love each other, really.

Do we?

- Is this your fan?
- You can't use that.

All right, here we go.

Five, six. No, you're second.

We're just fixing the floor
currently

because my heels keep
going through the floorboards.

Health and safety?

We laugh in the face
of health and safety!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

It's great here, though.

Like, the Tyne Theatre
is fabulous.

The guys and all the girls here
are brilliant, you know,

backstage and all of that.

They're great fun.

So I'm excited,
and it's a sellout.

We love a sellout, you know.

Geri Halliwell.

Aah!

Everyone's doing all right.

Not everyone's a dancer,
but that's fine,

because most of
it's just walking anyway.

I mean, it's walking with sass.

You know,
it's very complicated walking.

Seven, you're a superstar.

Got to do this clack with the
fan, though, with our left hand.

Everybody else
can be like crrrk,

and I'm like, oh.

Foot's itching,
and I can't itch it

because my laces are tied up.

We're looking for
Blu Hydrangea's blue fan.

Blue fan
to the dance floor, please.

Are you threatened?

I'm not threatened.
I'm not threatened.

I'm not threatened.

- Stop me 'ow.
- Stop me 'ow.

What happened?

I hit Gothy with the fan.

I'm sorry, Gothy!

I did it on purpose.
She's a b*tch.

You, turn it out.
You've got to turn it out.

f*cking hell.

Complaining about
her throat being sore,

and she won't f*cking shut up.

Ha ha ha ha!

In circle.

It's the end of the day,

and this is first day of
rehearsals in an actual theater,

and we're all shattered.

They're putting us through it,
you know what I mean?

It's a very long day.

I think some people
are starting to flag now,

and I'm like, let's
power through, let's do it.

Here we go.

- Cheryl.
- Cheryl.

She's not threatened.

She's not threatened.

She's a f*cking star.

And that she is.
She is a f*cking star.

She is a star.

Everyone's gone
a bit delirious now.

Talking to walls,

this curtain, we just had
a great conversation.

We need a drink.

I've got lip balm
all around my lips

because my lips are chapped.

- It's just that time of year.
- No, she's not.

She's been doing stuff...

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

I am the nicest person
on the cast, officially.

The shadiest one of all time.

- I don't mean any harm.
- You look like you...

Oh, wait, that's it.

Divina.

All right, let's do that again.

There's a lot of mistakes.
Let's do it again from the top.

Let's go.

- Oh, I need a drink.
- Everybody...

- Gin and tonic.
- Once you start waving...

My brain is just frazzled.

- We'll make it through together.
- Oh, come here.

All right, let me run this.

Let's run this closing number
one more time.

We're in the show, too!

We're dancers, too!
We have feelings!

I'm in my heels.

Slay. Walk.

Horrendous Oh, my goodness.

Stop. We'll stop.

Worst-case scenario,
I'm gonna mime something.

I don't know what, but
I will have a plan by tomorrow.

Up, take it down
and down and down. Ha.

So you guys go down, two, three,

travel your a*s off to join.

All right, ladies.

Roll out the red carpet,
because royalty is here.

Seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six,

down, up, down, down, up, down.

Up, down, and up, down,
and up, down,

around, and up,
and ha, ha, ha-ta-ta.

- Five, six.
- Roll it out.

It's so good.

They are, as the kids say,
serving it.

Five, six, seven, eight, walk.

- Category is...
- And you'll stay here.

- Bring it to the runway.
- Bring it to the runway.

I know.
Still working. She knows.

- Can't cope.
- Aow!

b*tch, get the hair.
Open all those fills.

Well done, girls, well done.

Remember, it's walk,
walk, walk, turn.

All right, thank you very much.
Thank you, my love.

At the end of the day,
all of you have to know

Beyoncé was not built in a day.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Roll it up, roll it up,
roll it up.

Very excited for this tour.

I mean, this is awesome.

This is Season 1,
to be a part of this.

Five, six, turn up.

This part of the world

loves not only just
RuPaul's Drag Race, but drag.

My question for you, Chancelor,

is are the other divas
doing all this?

No, that's why we have you here.

I need more money on my check.

I always get sh*t in my teeth
all the time

because they're so f*cking big.

So she has to pick it out.
You know how it is.

Is this Sum Ting Wong?

- Yes.
- You singing live?

Hopefully. I lost my voice
the last, like, four days.

Okay, God rest your soul,

but you thought you was
Whitney Houston last night.

She said, "I'm giving it all
in dress rehearsal, baby."

I think the earlier
we can all get ready

and fresh under the mask.

I'm still trying
to fight this jet lag.

When did you land?

- Yesterday.
- Oh.

At 5:00, and they
brought me straight here.

So we're being summoned
because we're the best dancers.

Divina's just gone for
a ciggie, I think.

It's not time to do a ciggie,
it's time to come to the stage.

- Are you here?
- We're all here.

I think we're all here now.

- Is Sid here?
- Yeah.

Oh, I'm feeling great,
as you can see,

working with these
f*cking people.

I'm only joking.

Is there 10 people here?

Divina had to do a TV interview.

She'll be here later.

- On BBC.
- BBC.

DVC on the BBC.

I got that.
I got that note. Okay.

Gonna take it from the top
of the opening number.

Ru-Ru-RuPaul's Drag Race.

This is a great way
to kick off Season 1.

I was very excited
when I boarded the plane,

but now, after watching
all this, I'm like, it's a show.

Your queen has arrived.

Yes.

All right, so here's the...
Everybody!

Can I get everybody's attention?
Everybody's attention?

We should run through this
at 3:00.

So go ahead and get
in your makeup a little bit

if you need to.

If you're in half-face,
that's fine.

But we're gonna run it with the
sound and the video behind you.

Okay?

I'm sh1tting myself.

And then Vinegar, if you're okay
to go on that side at the time.

So I've got, like,
anxieties about tonight.

Am I gonna walk on the stage
and fall over?

Is it that people
are gonna hate me?

I don't know.

Stop!

Roll out the red carpet,

because royalty is here.

Cut.

Ladies, come on.

We did it so good earlier.

Come on, let's do it right.

How was I too early?

Because it's stuff
that you want,

I've got the thing
that you need, I got more.

If you're earlier
than the girl next to...

The girl, your partner,
it just looks incorrect, yeah?

Stuff, thing, more, drop, yeah?

Ru-Ru-RuPaul Drag Race.

Ru-Ru-RuPaul Drag Race.

Drag.

Oh!

Yeah, see,
getting my coughing in.

Uh!

Divina, welcome.
Thank you for being here.

We love you.

Love you, too, Chance.

Thank you for my chance.

Everybody, please remember
this choreography, yeah?

So when you're in your mirror
right now doing your makeup,

go over it, because it is...
The show's in a couple hours.

Not all of these queens
are professional dancers.

Yes, that's true.

There's a lot of moving parts,

and then synchronized
choreography,

and then some are still learning
how to walk in heels.

That's me.

I was talking about me.
Why y'all think I'm being shady?

Oh, my God!

I'm over here in the UK.

This is how they play
and how they read each other.

And I'm trying to fit in...

I better
shut the f*ck up, b*tch.

- Hello?
- Rawr!

Aah!

We'll always wonder why she
didn't do that in the lip sync.

I started to get
a bit nervous there.

Put the mic on.