01x02 - Newcastle, New Show

[bunniefuu]

Is it on? Is it recording?

Have you seen that video
of Julie Andrews

on her Facebook page?

She puts... obviously,
someone's doing it for her.

And she's sitting there,
she's, like...

Obviously, they
could have edited it out.

She goes, "Is it on?
Is it recording?

"Well, I never thought
I'd say this,

but here I am on Facebook."

And I was, like, "Oh, Julie."

She's the one person
I wanna meet.

Right. See if anybody's home.

Where is everyone?

Right, this is Viv and Baga's.

It just stinks of cigarettes.

[laughs]

They're probably
having a ciggie or summat.

- Oh, it's...
- Stomping.

Stomping up the staircase.

I'm doing a tour
of everybody's dressing rooms,

but nobody's home.

Do you wanna come to my one?

Are you upstairs?
Oh, God, stairs.

- Oh, dear.
- Where are you?

Upstairs.
I'm on the star level, dear.

Come on, everybody.

So basically I thought

I'm getting me own dressing room
this week,

have me own dressing room
to feel the fantasy

of a real drag queen star,
and this is my room.

Wait, you've actually got
your own dressing room now?

You can always come in here.
It's too small, anyway.

Look at the wigs.

Members of the RuPaul Drag Race,

please be advised
that due to essential repairs

on the water supply upstairs
to repair a leak,

the water will be turned off
for approximately 20 minutes.

Please don't be alarmed...

Oh, I was gonna have a shower!

Oh! I was gonna have a poo.

Can't shave.

We can't wash our hands,
We can't shave.

I mean, you never saw this
on Drag Race, did you?

Well, you did. [knock on door]

Just HD. Hello.

- Rawr!
- Aah!

Blu, you've never looked better!

Do I look like Baga?

I honestly didn't like that.

My mom's eyebrows are sh*t.

You look a bit like Baga's
Grindr pic, actually.

I would wear it,

but I don't like to do
whiteface, so I'd better not.

Ooh! They won't use that.
Don't use that.

Welcome to our dressing room.

The queens' dressing room.

As you can see, we only
drink water backstage

Nice for the vocal cords.

It's the queen of Drag Race,
and Princess Margaret.

[laughs]

- See, it's real friendship.
- Yeah, it's real.

It wasn't all for the cameras.

It's our first tour
all together,

and this is opening night.

So the stakes are high tonight.

We get the reviews in tonight.

"I had a go in it,
and it was shite."

And I wouldn't wish this
upon anyone.




boy clothes, underwear.

So what I've done
is stocked up on all socks.

So once I've worn a pair,
I just bin them.

No one needs to be smelling
my feet after drag.

Right, f*ck off.
I've gotta do me face.

Right, get.

I feel okay
about the choreography.

I mean, it's gonna be...

I think the first show
is gonna be, like, the test run

to see if it works well.

And it's, like, sad
for the Newcastle people,

because they might not get,
like, the best show.

But we're just working out the
kinks, and it has to be done.

It has to be done in front
of an audience at some point.

I don't really know the words
to the start of my number,

because I only made it
last week.

Whenever you go over a number
over and over again,

it kind of doesn't feel
as important and special.

But, like, the moment
we get on the stage

for, like, the first number,

we'll be, like, "We're gonna
forget... make this count."

Yeah, well...

Well, most of us.

No, because I feel like
in that last rehearsal,

everybody did great.

It's gonna be stressful
for Gothy and Scaredy,

because it's their
first-ever performance.

Hopefully they like it enough
to start doing it all the time.

Scaredy's gonna be
absolutely fine, because...

Yeah, I think so, too.

She's doing her music, you know?

Like, it's her thing,

so she's just channeling
everything that is her, so...

Scaredy, tell me,
how are you feeling

about doing your rehearsals?

Yeah, I've never danced
before ever.

Well, I didn't do any dancing
on the show, did I?

I did my little lip sync.

It was the first dance
I've ever done.

You saw how that went.

But for someone
who hasn't done it,

I think I'm, like...
I'm quite comfortable with it.

I've done quite good,
and maybe even better

than some of the others,
I don't know.

Wait, wait, wait. Nobody move.

Look at your spacing.

So, Scaredy Kat,
you need to pull out more.

Gothy, you need to pull back
and in more.

You should not be in the line
with anybody.

You should be... you're opposite,

and you should be
the same position, yeah?

People are bound to f*ck up,

but I'm quite confident.

I think it's gonna be okay.
I think it's gonna be fine.

I'm just waiting for someone's,
like, dress to get stepped on.

Go like that. [laughs]

It might be by me, I don't know.

Look at these f*cking things.

That would hurt.

That would hurt anyone.

[laughs]

Hello, everyone.

If you're here
for the Meet & Greet,

will you start queuing
out here, please?

♪ To, to, to, to, to, to, to ♪

♪ To the moon ♪

Much betta!

♪ To the moon ♪

They've been very good.

It's making me less nervous,
when you meet the people,

because they obviously are here
because they're fans of you.

So it's nice.

Well, not you.

Not specifically me. I mean...

But, you know, like, in general.

I am the shittiest one here.

I mean, look at me right now.
[laughs]

Everybody's loving it.

I think we're all in set groups.

There's one, two, four groups.

I think our group's
more dynamic.

I'm pick-pocketing
as they go along,

so I've got three phones
I'm going to cash tomorrow.

Fagin.

Yeah, I'm the Fagin
of the Meet & Greet.

Hello, darling.
Oh, you're gorgeous.

Right, luv.

Someone even asked a TV show.

Met them all,
all the beautiful girls.

We love them all.

We fell in love with them
when the show was on.

All have beautiful
personalities.

- All their traits.
- They're fabulous.

They're absolutely fabulous.

You know, British drag
has got so much to offer.

And they're absolutely amazing.

So good to meet you!

Are you guys related?

Because you've got
the same hair.

I forgot to put my boobs in,
and she's come with these.

You forgot them?

Yeah, look.

Aah! Excuse me.

[laughs]

Oh, my God.

Amazing. [laughs]

We'll always wonder why she
didn't do that in the lip sync.

- [laughs]
- Oh, my God, yeah.

Why didn't you put your wig
forward in the lip sync?

- Aah!
- Aah!

So the first Meet & Greet
is officially done.

Everyone was so nice.

We got gifts
with our faces on them.

A lot of people said
I was robbed by Cheryl

of a place in the top four,
twice.

Huh?

Right, you wanna know
the real tea?

I think everybody was, like,
Cheryl, you were incredible.

You should have been
in the final,

and I think, yeah,
I should have been.

But you know what?
We're winning in life...

Well, if someone did
a Cheryl Cole song

in front of Cheryl Cole and
their namesake is Cheryl Cole,

I mean...

That was great.
I love meeting people.

Like, that's
one of my favorite things.

Not everybody does enjoy it,

but I do actually genuinely
enjoy meeting people.

I'm gonna go and drink
me orange juice now.

Got loads of goodies, Divina.

Oh, the goodies.

I got meself a mug.

It's a poo mug.

It's a poo mug.

Maybe it's about my makeup.
I'm not sure.

Come into my house.

You need to ask me,
like, questions.

Like, 25 questions,
like that Vogue thing.

All right, how was
the Meet & Greet?

Great.

All the fans are fabulous.

Anything else?

[laughs]

Perks of the job.

And all I got
was a RuPeter badge.

Yeah, me, too.

Faye from Steps
told us about the gin.

Oh, it's about the gin?

Faye from Steps
gave me a pity photo.

- [laughs]
- Is she here? Is she here?

Yeah, she's looking for you.

Excuse me!

- My friend!
- Where's Faye?

I'm friends with Faye
from Steps!

They're all jealous!

Faye Tozer,
she's a f*cking legend.

But everyone's jealous
that I'm friends with her.

I've met Lisa. She's camp.

I've met H.
He kissed me on the lips.

I met Lee Latchford-Evans,

I tried to kiss him on the lips.

Didn't go for it.

Never met Claire. Faye?

Faye Tozer.

So you can tell your mate
it's like a new program.

You can underscore it
with, like, music.

So there's lots of music.

And it's the story
of seeing Faye Tozer.

Here she is.
I'm taking my shoes off.

It's only Faye. She's all right.

Hi!

How are you? Oh, my God!

I hope you're all right
getting me photos right now.

Faye was the first person I told

when my spot opened.

It was all very secret,
wasn't it?

- Very secret.
- It was like secret squirrels.

- Yeah.
- I know,

and we were just busy
doing West End stuff

and all of this stuff
was going on.

It was just mental.
It was brilliant.

- It's so good seeing you.
- Absolutely brilliant.

- You're gorgeous.
- I try.

So do I. [laughs]

Enjoy the show, babes.
Thank you for coming.

Lovely to meet you as well,
my love.

Lovely to meet you. Thank you.

Love you. Right.
And send those pics as well.

- Love you.
- Wicked.

I saw a lot of young people,
actually.

And that kind of
made me a bit nervy,

- because I have...
- There's filth?

I have literally a big,
massive dildo on the screen

for part of my number.

You know what?

They knew what they were
getting themselves into.

They're coming to a drag show.

And, I mean, who cares, right?

We all wanna see a big dildo
on the screen.

Stress.

But I feel
I've got part of it down.

Rehearsing it for days,
and if I f*ck up,

I look the best
out of all these b*tches.

[laughs] Hi, darling.

I don't think so, dear.

[laughs]

I do not sing yet.

[both laugh] How dare you.

She may look good,

but if she can't get
these steps down,

she's not gonna look good,
do you know what I mean?

Do you think she won't?

I've had a lot of notes.

Here, come in here.

Do you know what
I'm finding really funny

is that everyone's
really nervous,

and, like,
everyone's breaking out.

And, like, because in my head,
I'm, like, God, everyone's...

Well, the acts I've seen so far
at rehearsals have been amazing.

Like, Blu's is phenomenal.

Like, it's fully...
I've got to say

it's probably my favorite one
out of all of them.

It's f*cking phenomenal.

But she's, like,
sh1tting herself.

I'm like, there's nothing
to sh*t yourself about.

Like with Gothy,
that comment just a second ago.

What comment? What, what, what?

Of her saying,
"I still look the best."

It's, like, who... like,
in a theatrical show, who cares?

Do you know what I mean?

It's all about that performance.

No one cares
if you look phenomenal or not.

Hello. Ooh, hello.

- Hello, darling.
- Do you have the glue?

- Yeah, glue's right there.
- Okay.

Um...

Yeah.

Real good. I feel quite calm.

Yeah? Camp and glam.

Do I look camp?

Duh.

Right, I'll see you
on the morrow.

Hello!

Tonight's the night,
opening night.

Yes! And what a place
to do it as well. Newcastle.

We love the Geordies, Pat.

Oh, just pray.

We'll all be fine.
We're all pros.

The Season 1 Tour,

we're about to go on
for the first-ever show.

We've just finished
the Meet & Greet.

We've just got into our outfits.

We're ready to be regal queens,

even though
not all of us are queens.

Some of us didn't win the show.

So you're only a queen
if you get the crown.

My d*ck hurts so bad.

Why?

This leotard
wasn't made tall enough.

So literally,
I can't even feel...

The end of my d*ck
has, like, inverted itself.

- [laughs]
- I know. I know.

This is her actual first gig.

Actual. The show didn't count?

- No, dear.
- Oh, my God.

Just before you go on,

just imagine you're
the most powerful creature.

- Aah!
- No, no, honestly.

And just think about
all those people

who are there because they're
impressed by you already.

- Yeah.
- You've already won them over.

So all you have to do

is just give them
what they're expecting,

which is you being a confident,
amazing creature.

Okay. Thank you.

I'll try my best.

Maybe do some power poses.

- Just stand there, like...
- No, honestly, it helps.

Like, ah, yes, I am,
like, oh, I'm power.

- I am the best.
- Yeah.

Fingers crossed.

She promptly stacks it, aah.

- Oh!
- Good show, ladies.

Good show, ladies,
good show, good show.

Y'all look fabulous.

Have a fabulous show.
It's your night tonight!

- To the moon.
- Where's the lineup?

No, no, no, where's the names?

John, where's the list,
baby girl?

Don't worry, baby.

Don't have me calling
these girls Gretchen Weiners

and Regina George,
because I will.

Don't have me
f*ck up people's names.

Are you excited about tonight?

I'm a little nervous.
I'm a little nervous.

You guys look amazing.

Have an amazing first show.

Thank you all so much
for everything.

- Thank you!
- You guys are brilliant.

- Thank you.
- We hope we do you proud.

- You look great.
- And we don't fall over.

[all laugh]

Gonna f*ck it all up.

You better f*cking not, b*tch.

I'm gonna come up there on stage

and show my f*cking fanny
in front of all y'all b*tches.

How do you feel?

- Good.
- Yeah.

- Got some nerves.
- Yeah, exactly.

It's like anticipation.

The thing is it's so much more
than a drag show.

Like we can perform
all of our lives,

but then it's like choreography
and this and visuals and...

It's also, like, symbolic

of, like,
everything that's happened.

Yeah.

I just had a moment
in the dressing room,

like, what the f*ck is going on?

[laughs]

Why am I here?

- What's happened?
- People running around.

Yeah.

Good show, Season 1!

Applause, applause, applause.

Good show, Season 1!

Here. I just tongue-popped
with Alyssa Edwards.

Life is mad. Just saying.

Let me try it now for you.

[tongue pop] That was good!

[cheers and applause]

Five...

four...

three...

two...

one.

[cheers and applause]

The Vivienne!

I'm on after Vinegar, second.

Excited, scared. The usual.

High to be here. Very scary.

[cheers and applause]

[no audible dialogue]

[cheers and applause]

Your first time. It's night one.

First time performing.

You're like...
Your first time performing?

Well, apart from
the lip sync, yeah.

Hold on.

Your first time on stage

was in the lip sync
for your life?

Yeah.

- Okay.
- Whoops. [laughs]

No, that's a fabulous thing.
High five.

I wish I would have been
that good my second time!

Dang, I think I tripped over,
I was so nervous.

I don't think
I lip synced two words.

- Good for you!
- Thank you, darling.

- Good for you!
- Thank you so much.

And you looked stunning
out there.

- I try. [laughs]
- Okay.

Second time lip syncing.

The children, the youth of today
and the future of tomorrow.

That's great. Come on, baby.

Newcastle,
y'all ready for part two?

[cheering]

Hello.

He's making a video.

How was that?

You know what I mean?

Now that I've, like,
almost cried. [laughs]

I'm watching it.

Last night in Manchester.

[laughs]

Yeah, I mean, you never know

what it's gonna be like
in rehearsal.

You know, you do it,
and you just keep doing it.

But when the crowds are there
and everything,

you just react
in a different way,

and I've never had that before,
because it's my second time

I've been on a stage
after the lip sync.

So to lip sync again on stage
is just nuts.

- I'm very proud.
- It went very well, thank you.

And I think I looked great.

[laughs]

Aah, there's so many things
I can f*ck up!

But hopefully I don't.

At least it's a comedy number.

I mean, you've seen what Baga
does with her comedy numbers.

So if she can do that,
then I can do this.

[laughs]

Who?

Blu Hydrangea.

♪ This is the beginning
of the rest of your life ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Well done, Blu!
- Thanks.

- Blu!
- 10 points to Hufflepuff!

[all laugh]

You can't buy this, ladies.

Born like this.

I look like I'm pregnant,
like I'm carrying, don't I?

Oh, God.

All right, Newcastle!

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct]

Alyssa: This is live...
RuPaul's Drag Race UK!

RuPaul: You betta werk.

It was f*cking...
There was so much variety

and so much f*cking
capable ability to all of you.

And you all accentuated
all your positives.

So f*cking pat yourselves
on the g*dd*mn back,

because you all
were f*cking great.

Thank you all so much.

This is an amazing group
of people.

You all are amazing. Thank you.

You're amazing!

♪ You wear it well ♪

[shouting]

Turn this sh*t off.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Come on, old ♪

♪ Work it for me, me ♪

♪ You wear it well ♪

I'm crying. That's my thoughts.

Actually?

I'm actually crying.
That speech got me.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, babe.

Whoo.

It's just so amazing, isn't it?

- So amazing.
- [sighs]

It felt... it felt genuine.

Yeah.

And he's been such
a little d*ck this whole time.

[both laugh]

You know, oh, my God,
that was so much fun.

Like, oh, I really love
getting into me stand-up.

I only had about four minutes
out there.

- Oh, yes, I love stand-up.
- I loved it.

And do you know why I love it?

- Hold on.
- [laughs]

No, first night of the tour

everyone has done
so bloody amazing.

Ooh, yes. Very nice.

Very nice. Well done, kid.

- Oh, how f*cking fun.
- You're fabulous.

Just gonna go see me sister.

Everyone smashed it, everyone.
Just amazing.

So how'd it go?

Yeah, it was good.
I'm happy with it.

Got stuff to work on tomorrow,

but, I mean, for a first
good attempt with all the props,

all the dancers,
all the costumes...

- All the divas.
- I'm pretty happy with it.

What about you, Chez?

[sighs]

I don't actually have any words.

I know. That was amazing.

And that's rare
for me to be speechless.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm going on the train
'cause I'm a clever girl.

- [laughs]
- See you.

That's the official
safety check.

Well, what happens if you drop?

I die. [laughs]

This is what happens

when you put Baga and Vivienne
on the same table.

We're all light.

Ladies? Ladies!

Come on, good luck, because
you already done f*cked it up.

Oh!

♪ Jealous of my boogie ♪

♪ Don't be jealous
of my boogie ♪

♪ You can say that you are not ♪

♪ But I always see you looking ♪

♪ Don't be jealous
of my boogie ♪

♪ Don't be jealous
of my boogie ♪

♪ You can say that you are not ♪

♪ But I always see you looking ♪

♪ Don't be jealous
of my boogie ♪

♪ Don't be jealous
of my boogie ♪

♪ You can say that you are not ♪

♪ But I always see you looking ♪

♪ Don't be jealous
of my boogie ♪

♪ You can say that you are not ♪

♪ But I always see you looking ♪

[laughs]