Singers, The (2025)

[bunniefuu]

[wind whistling]

[train horn blowing in distance]

[train bell ringing]

[train horn blowing]

[train horn blaring]

[train engine chugging]

[train horn blows]

[man 1] I'll blow your m*therf*cking life

into f*cking shambles!

- [men grunting]

- ["Take Me to the River" playing]

I wanna know, can you help me?

[old man 1 chuckles]

I'd love to stay

That thing is so f*cking stupid.

Take me to the river

[old man 1 chuckles]

- [old man 2 grunts]

- [man 2] How's it going, old boy?

- Take me to the river

- [indistinct conversation]

Put me in the water

[bottles clattering]

[indistinct radio chatter]

[man 3] A little duck walks into the bar,

jumps up on the bar.

He looks at the bartender.

He says, "You got any snails?"

[old man chuckles]

He said, "Snails?"

He said,

"I don't serve snails in this bar."

[old man 1] You was running patrol?

We used to sweep the road for landmines

Yeah, we call 'em IEDs now.

- Yeah.

- Improvised expl*sive devices.

We lost three guys in one whack.

It was a scout truck.

They were all the way out in front,

half a kilometer in front of us.

I seen a f*cking mushroom cloud

and the doors flying

[softly] tell me

[man 4] No one lived, you know.

Just vapor.

I'd love to stay

- [wood creaking]

- [man 5 exhales]

- [man 4] My buddy Rick passed away.

- [man 5 clears throat]

[raspingly] Take me to the river

Drop me in the water

[man 6 chuckles]

[man 3] He said, "You got any snails?"

He said, "Look"

- How you doing, man?

- I'm good, thanks.

"We don't sell snails here."

But he said, "I'll tell you what."

He said, "You come back again."

And he said, "I'm gonna nail

your beak to the damn bar."

1969, lost nine partners on the ambush.

And, um

- So, um

- He said, "I don't have any snails."

He said, "No? You got any nails?"

He said, "No." "Well, you got any snails?"

[old man coughing]

Spare $100 to help fight

cocaine withdrawal today?

No.

- All right.

- [indistinct conversation]

How about a beer?

[man 4] A week later,

you're a f*cking animal.

No.

[man 4] Then you're expected

to go back to being a young man.

- You have a good night.

- Thanks.

[man 4] You just don't feel

like a person anymore.

And you just wanna feel

like a person again.

[old man 1] Man,

I don't wanna talk about it no more.

[sighing] Oh boy.

[man 5] How you guys doing?

[man 3] Better than you

if you don't get on down there.

I tell you what, I got a good joke.

One beer, just one drink.

I guess you like riding in that little van

that's got all them f*cking lights on it.

- [old man 1] How about that snow?

- Keeps coming down. It's still cold.

Yeah, it is. [Chuckles]

- Yeah. Keep coming and coming.

- [man 3] There's always one m*therf*cker

What's up, man?

How you doing? Doing all right?

- I cannot help you.

- [man 7] I got results from the doctor

All right.

My blood sugar level

and glucose level is all screwed up.

I've got way high glucose, way high.

Mr. Bartender there,

you think you could spare me a beer?

I'll pay you back.

I get paid tomorrow.

Eating too much sugar, uh

is the main cause of it.

That gets your glucose level up.

Drinking sodas gets your glucose level up.

Look, man, you're always welcome here.

But you have to stop

harassing my customers.

All right, I'm sorry. I, um

Dog died today.

My car broke down.

My girlfriend made me a cuck.

- [bartender] Hmm.

- [man 7] I got a girlfriend that's gonna

What if I sing you a song?

What makes you think

I wanna hear you sing?

[man 5] I don't know.

I think I'm pretty good.

Liven the place up a little bit.

It's kinda sad in here, you know?

[man 5 chuckles softly] Huh?

See that old man down there?

The one with the, uh, tubes?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

He used to sing every Friday night.

Tear the house down.

You think think he'd buy me a beer?

If you can beat that guy,

I'll give you a six-pack.

Oh, okay.

I can out sing anybody

in this f*cking place.

I promise you that. If your wife was here,

her panties would hit the floor instantly.

- Maybe even yours too.

- [bartender] Hmm.

You know what?

Give me a minute.

[man 5 coughing]

I love this place. It's really nice.

I see why you come here.

See that guy down there?

[pool ba*ls clacking]

Know what he said?

- [old man 3 grunts]

- He said he can out sing you.

[chuckles] He probably can.

[old man 3 coughing]

Man, I miss hearing you sing.

Yeah, well

How you doing, Mike?

[bartender] I'm okay, Captain.

Day by day.

It's cold as hell out there though.

- What do you say?

- [sniffles]

Can you put him in his place for me?

- [old man 3] Oh man.

- [bartender] Tell you what.

I'm probably the only person

in this world who knows this.

But if you look closely,

in all that sea of one-dollar bills

[old man 3] Hmm.

there's one $100 bill.

- [both chuckling]

- [inspirational music playing]

I thought about taking it

for myself more than a few times.

$100.

[softly] And a free beer.

[old man 3 chuckles softly]

Everybody, this is how it's going down.

Free beer and $100

to the best singer in the bar tonight.

[man 5] Damn.

[music fades]

[twangy] Amazing grace

- [old man 1] For the love of God.

- [both] How sweet the sound

[mumbling] That saved a wretch like me

[man 5 applauds, chuckles]

Lovely. Wow. That was fantastic.

- I don't know how I'm gonna follow that.

- Oh, f*ck y'all.

Ain't none of y'all down there

can sing it any better.

Give it a f*cking try.

You couldn't carry

a f*cking tune in a bucket.

f*cking square-headed b*stards,

every damn one of you.

Yo! Can y'all please shut up?

[man 5] You know, I think my friend

over here might wanna join, huh?

No, thanks. I'm I'm good.

- Smart decision.

- [man 3] I feel bad for y'all.

[man 5] There he goes.

Ain't none of you got any guts.

None of you.

- That goes for you too, old man.

- [old man 2] Yeah.

You got one foot in the grave

and the other on a damn banana peel.

- Go ahead and laugh down there.

- [old man 2 chuckling]

[man 3] I ain't afraid of nothing.

Do you hear me talking?

I hear a f*cking slab of bacon

talking sh*t. That's what I hear.

You be the one talk

Hell, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot

if the instruction was

on the bottom of it. You understa...

[urinating]

[man 6] In the early morning rain

[urinating stops]

With a dollar in my hand

[pants zipping]

[toilet flushing]

With an aching in my heart

And my pockets full of sand

I'm a long way from home

And I miss my loved ones so

[door opening]

[man 3 in distance] Your mouth

looks like teeth in a horse's a*s.

[man 6 breathing softly]

[footsteps approach]

[urinating]

I bet you

when you go down on your old lady,

you give her

a f*cking hysterectomy at the same time.

- Bucktooth b*stard.

- [bartender] Yo, Muffin. Shh.

[old man 3 humming]

There is a house

Down in New Orleans

They call it the Rising Sun

- [man 5] All right. All right.

- [bartender shushing]

Aw, it's been the ruin

Of many a poor boy

And dear God knows I'm one

[man whistles]

- [lively piano playing]

- [old man 2 applauding] Yeah!

[chuckles heartily]

[piano playing continues]

The only thing

That a gambler needs

Is a suitcase and a trunk

And the only time

He's ever satisfied

- Is when he's old and drunk

- [softly] When he's all drunk

[door creaks open]

[muffled] You go tell

Tell my baby brother

Don't know what I have done

[man] Whoo!

Would you shun that house

Down in New Orleans

- [man whistles]

- That they call the Rising Sun

That they call the Rising Sun

[muffled cheering, applauding]

[door creaking]

[piano flourish plays]

[old man 2] Amen, brother.

[man 3] Ain't nobody in here

can sing but that old man right there.

So just hang your f*cking heads

and go on home.

["It Hurts Me Too" playing]

[man chuckling softly]

[piano playing continues]

[man applauding]

[soulfully] Said you went crazy

You've lost your mind

Now the man you love

[man 2] Whoo!

Hurts you all the time

- When things go wrong

- [old man 3 chuckles]

So wrong with you

It hurts me too

Y'all hearing this?

I'll be damned.

The little b*stard can sing.

You love him more

You should love him less

- [men clapping to beat]

- I'll come up behind him

Pick up all his mess

When things go wrong

So wrong with you

It hurts me too

[piano playing continues]

[men cheering, whistling]

[man 2] Yeah!

[men chuckling]

[whistling]

[chuckling]

[piano playing continues]

You call me up

Down from El Paso

Said come back, Daddy

- [man 4 whoops]

- I need you so

- [old man 2 chuckles]

- When things go wrong

So wrong with you

It hurts me too

[music ending]

[man 2] Wow!

[men applauding]

- [man 2] Come on. His beer's on me.

- [man 7] Oh man.

I know I'm going to hell for this,

but I'm gonna say the young guy.

I can't believe I'm saying that,

because I love the old guy.

And I love the young guy.

I love them both. How can you

Give them a tie, you know.

Give them a drink, pat on the back,

and say, "You're the best."

That's what I'd do.

- [piano music playing]

- [men chuckling]

[man 7] It's just like, singing a song

is like telling a story about

Have you all got

any good titty bars around here?

[old man 2] Oh, hell yes.

We've got Illusions, Palominos.

[man 3] Would you like to go sometime?

Whoa

[piano music stops]

My, my love

My darling

I hunger for

Your touch

A long

Lonely time

[piano playing]

And time

Goes by

So slowly

And time

Can do so much

Are you

Still mine?

Mine

I need

Your love

I

I need

- Your love

- [piano fading]

Godspeed your love

To

[rattling]

To me

[train horn blowing in distance]

[bottles rattling gently]

[train horn blowing in distance]

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

[silence]

[man 8 clears throat]

[in Italian] I declaim

While taken with delirium

I do not know what I am saying

Or what I am doing

Yet it is necessary, I must force...

["Closing Time" by Leonard Cohen playing]

[in English] Ah, we're drinking

And we're dancing

And the band is really happening

And the Johnny Walker wisdom

Running high

And my very sweet companion

She's the Angel of Compassion

She's rubbing half the world

Against her thigh

And every drinker, every dancer

Lifts a happy face to thank her

The fiddler fiddles

Something so sublime

All the women tear their blouses off

And the men

They dance on the polka dots

And it's partner found

And it's partner lost

And it's hell to pay

When the fiddler stops

Closing time

Closing time

Closing time, closing time

Yeah, the women tear their blouses off

And the men

They dance on the polka dots

And it's partner found

And it's partner lost

And it's hell to pay

When the fiddler stops

It's closing time

[music fades]